OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 1/29/04

[Zack Malibu 0]

TONIGHT: Nearly a week removed from Anglepalooza, and we still have no clue who gets the World Title shot at Anglemania III, as Calvin Szechstein shocked the world by entering the Rumble at number 30, and "defeating 29 others" to retain the title that he risked losing in the Royal Rumble matchup. The champion, at the request of General Manager Northstar and director John Singleton, is taking a break from the action this week, claiming exhaustion due to the "stress of competing with 29 others", not to mention having several business meetings set up on behalf of the movie 3 Stages Of Hell. However, all the best HeldDOWN~! talent is in the house tonight, ready for a show highlighted by a blood feud. Tonight, Zack Malibu, who was robbed not only of a victory over The Superstar but robbed of the number one contendership thanks to his former protege, looks to avenge his former rival CWM by defeating Hoff here tonight. All this and more happens now, only on...

 

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

 

 

 

The cameras scan the crowd, as the riotous people in the arena tonight rise to their feet, showcasing their signs, their shits, and various obscene gestures. However, we're robbed of OPENING PYRO~!, as Damaramu and Northstar, sans any music to signal their arrival, are heading down to the ring!

 

The fans are booing them and both men look LIVID. Damaramu has a huge bandage going across his face from the war that he had with Crystal at Anglepalooza.

 

COLE

Fans at home they just ran out here with no music both men looking angry about something. I don't know what's going on.

 

CABOOSE

Well if you'd shut your mouth and pay attention we'd find out what's going on! Northstar has a microphone.

 

COACH

I can't even look at that man after what he did to my girl last night.....

 

*Northstar starts to raise the microphone to speak but the fans begin to boo him so loudly that he can't speak. Damaramu begins to yell at the fans to shut up but Northstar calms him.*

 

NORTHSTAR

Everyone of you had better shut up or this show will shut down right now! I'm the GM dammit! What I say goes!

 

*a few fans shut up but the majority of the fans boo louder*

 

NORTHSTAR

Idiots! Every last one of you! Last night this man beside me! The future of the OAOAST was screwed! Now he impressed the hell out of me when he went into that steel cage and finished Crystal off! He did everything he said he would and at the end of the match....Crystal was broken in the middle of the ring! And it showed with her quick elimination from the Rumble as well! So we're done with that paticular nuisance. You fought a good fight Crystal....but it just wasn't enough.

 

*the fans begin to chant "CRYSTAL" at Northstar*

 

NORTHSTAR

I said we're done with her! Onto the Rumble match! Where we were screwed! I said this man right here....this specimen....DAMARAMU was supposed to win the Royal Rumble! And with the way things were set up he was going to win the World title last night! But he was screwed by two men! Zack Malibu and Ryan Smith!

 

*the fans cheer louder as both of there fan favorites are mentioned. Damaramu yanks the mic out of Northstar's hands unable to take anymore.*

 

DAMARAMU

Listen here! Zack Malibu you sneaky bastard! I almost had you out of the match but that bitch Ryan Smith distracted me. Then you being the opportunist you are snuck up and dumped me! You can bet one thing preppy boy....your time will come and your pretty face will be stained in blood. But that's not what's on the forefront of my mind. No I'm thinking about Ryan Smith. You see Ryan when you got involved in the Rumble you put yourself back on my hit list. A bruised vertebrae in your neck wasn't enough? Fine.....it'll be broken next time. Now you listen to me and you listen good. I gave you your chance to leave me alone and be done with this silly dream you have of being a big star. I gave you that shot and you pissed it away. Now buddy....you have to face me again....and you can ask Crystal......you don't want that.

 

*the fans boo as Damaramu disrespects all of there favorite stars*

 

However Northstar is generous......*a sly smile crosses Damaramu's face*...and he's going to give you the chance to prove your worthiness.

 

NORTHSTAR

That is correct.....Ryan Smith....you are a danger to yourself when you are around Damaramu.....and I can't have people with broken necks left and right. So for your own protection you are indefinetly suspended from active competition.

 

*the fans boo this decision*

 

COLE

What!? Why the hell is he supsended!?

 

*the OU Fight Song booms over the loud speakers as Ryan Smith appears on the entrance ramp. Damaramu and Northstar get a look of concern and then Damaramu steps in front of Northstar and begs Smith to come to the ring. Ryan obliges and slowly begins to walk to the ring. Damaramu and Northstar back up to the ropes as Smith enters the ring.*

 

SMITH

What was that? You two morons actually think that I'm afraid of Damaramu?

 

*Smith and Damaramu come nose to nose*

 

Damaramu I will admit that you are a hell of an athlete. But I'm finally ready to beat you in the middle of that ring. I'm ready for my revenge. Wheras before I thought you were a friend that had lost his way. Before I thought you were still my friend and I thought I could still save you. I thought this when Michael Cole came to OU and interviewed me....but you know what? I sat at home and watched your promo you cut from inside the steel cage. And I realized something......you are a miserable and pathetic human being. There is no saving you......because this is you. This has always been you...I was just to blind to notice it. Well Damaramu I'm ready now...there will be no punches pulled....I'm going to break your neck and end this miserable career you have here. You can count on it.

 

 

NORTHSTAR

Back up there boy!

 

SMITH(turning to Northstar)

As for you faggot....*the fans cheer*....you can take your suspension and shove it up your ass! Or maybe you'd like that? I'm not going anywhere till I get a shot at Damaramu.

 

DAMARAMU

You want a shot? Let's do this.

 

*Damaramu and Ryan Smith begin to circle one another as Northstar jumps in between them.*

 

NORTHSTAR

WAIT! WAIT! Not here! Not right now! Ryan buddy....you've been out of action for so long. How can I trust that you are even ready to compete at the caliber that my athletes here on Helddown wrestle at? *Damaramu whispers in Northstars ear* Ok Ryan. You want to come back? That's fine....but you have to prove that you're good enough to wrestle on Helddown again! Next week in this very ring you will face one of my very own Helddown superstars. Should you win...you're back no problem. Should you lose....you're not ready to fight on Helddown and then you are suspended indefinetly.

 

SMITH(visibley pissed off)

Fine....you want it that way? I'll take on anybody you can throw at me. I'm better than him *points at Damaramu* so I know I belong here.

 

*the OU Fight Song plays and Smith gives Damaramu one last long stare before exiting the ring and heading up the ramp. The fans cheer as the disgusted Damaramu and Northstar stand in the ring. Damaramu grabs the mic just before Ryan leaves the arena.*

 

DAMARAMU

Wait a minute you son of a bitch! Northstar forgot to mention one thing......I am the special guest referee for your match next week! You'll be wrestling under my rules!

 

*the fans boo as Northstar begins to laugh out loud, loving Damaramu's idea. Rage contorts Smith's face as he stand at the top of the ramp staring at Damaramu*

 

COLE

How is that fair!?

 

CABOOSE

It's for his own safety Cole!

 

COACH

Sounds to me like it's for Damaramu's safety!

 

*FADE TO COMMERCIAL*

[Zack Malibu 0]

“Higher” by Creed plays and out comes Mad Matt. Matt enters the ring looking like he is in a subdued mood. Matt grabs a microphone and he looks about ready to speak.

 

Caboose: Oh great, more talking. We're slowly turning into RAW, gentlemen.

 

Matt: Last Sunday I lost an I-Quit Match. I admit that. AJ Flaire was the better man in that match. I just wonder if it was worth it. I saw my life flash before me and I made the decision to quit. I realised that my health is more important then any title in this fed. I thought about the rest of my career and my life after wrestling. I don’t think going through life with one functional arm would be quite the thing that the doctor ordered. Actually my doctor would have a fit if I came to him injured again. He cleared me to wrestle three times. I should have been finished off back in June when Ragdoll nearly cracked my skull like an eggshell. In reality that is the case. The next bump on my head could be my last. That is what is going to lead me to make the decision that I am about to make right now.

 

Coach:Is Matt going to retire?

 

Caboose:Shut up and let the man finish.

 

Matt: I feel that wrestling may not be the thing for me anyone. I walked into this fed full of promise. In nine months I became a bitter young man. That is not what I want my legacy to be. Someone also has been attempting to take me out of action. I don’t really care who it is. I could have been the greatest star of all time. Instead I am a flash in the pan wonder. So before I damage my legacy any more, what I am going to do is….

 

“Higher” by Creed plays and out comes…Jeremy Red.

 

Cole:OH NO. It’s the return of Jeremy Red.

 

Caboose:Jeremy Red is coming down to the ring for some reason and he has a microphone. This should be painful.

 

Jeremy Red:Matt, I have been waiting for this day for you don’t know how long. I saw how you were catering to these middle class nobodies in the crowd and it made me sick. Any wrestler who caters to these freaks in the crowd is a complete and utter moron.

 

Coach:He isn’t talking in an uncertain tone. It is almost like he is talking in a cocky confident tone.

 

Cole:This isn’t the Jeremy Red we know. This guy isn’t acting one bit like the Jeremy Red we know.

 

Caboose:This is a Jeremy Red I can live with. It is obvious what he is doing. He is leaping out of the Shadow of Madness.

 

Red: Yes I am your worst nightmare. I came in here a stumbling, bumbling rookie. That was all a lie. My parents thought that the acting lessons I took were a waste of time but I put them to good use. Really good use. I fooled everyone in the lockeroom, all these peasants in the crowd, and most importantly, you Mad Matt. It was I who called to turn you into the mental institution. I further gained your trust by attempting to save you. Who knew that my bumbling attempts would actually let you escape. It was I who masterminded this entire alleged conspricy. I don’t consider it one since I was the one who forced you into these competive situations and attempted to take you out with various means. This prepared the time to prepared to discontinue your entire existence in this fed.

 

Matt looks in a state of shock. The shock is quickly replaced by a look of seething anger.

 

Matt: I should have known. You are nothing but a parasite, Red. It is about time that the host sheds the parasite anyway. I was going to announce my retirement but you know what. I changed my mind. Before you made these complex master plans, did you consider something. The fact is that I have power of attorney over your contract because you are a minor. In other words, I can quit for you and there would be nothing you can do about it. Your contract would be null and void.

 

Red:Oh that would be the easy way out, wouldn’t it Matt. It would be so easy to say that Jeremy Red doesn’t work here any more. I am DEMANDING that you fight me in a match right now tonight on HeldDown.

 

Matt:You want a match with me. You really sure you want to do that. You have not shown me a lick of wrestling talent and even if you did have some hidden talent like your new found hidden confidence, you have only wrestled one match in this fed. You got your match and when I beat you, that will be the end of Jeremy Red.

 

Jeremy Red rushes to the ring. Red enters the ring and Matt attacks him as he enters the ring. Matt whips Jeremy Red into the ropes and takes him down with a clothesline.

 

Coach:We have an impromptu match right here tonight between Mad Matt and Jeremy Red.

 

Caboose:Red showed a new attitude tonight which I like but he is paying the price by a very ticked off Mad Matt.

 

Matt throws Red into the ropes and Matt hits a powerslam. Matt stomps away at the fallen body of Jeremy Red and Matt picks Red off the canvas. Matt hooks Red in a gutwrench and snaps him over with a gutwrench suplex. Matt bounces off the ropes and Matt drives an elbow to the chest. Matt grabs Red and Matt hooks Red. Matt hits a snap suplex on Red. Matt hangs on. Matt takes Red over with another snap suplex. Matt holds up and takes down Red with a release vertical. Matt rolls over for the pin attempt.

 

 

One…..

 

Two…..

 

 

 

Kickout.

 

 

Matt is not worried and he drives a forearm into the face of Jeremy Red as he attempts to sit up. Matt throws Red into the ropes and Matt hits a corner clothesline. Matt chokes Red in the corner. Matt is refusing to break the chokehold.

 

Caboose:This is a blatant disregard of the rules. Matt is attempting to unfairly end the career of Jeremy Red.

 

Coach:Red put Matt in a mental institution. This is only a fraction of what Red deserves.

 

Cole:Matt breaks the hold just before the five count so this match continues.

 

Matt grabs Red in a double underhook and snaps him over with a double underhook suplex. Matt grabs Red and rolls him over. Matt grabs Red into a double armbar submission. Red is struggling but Matt has this hold gripped on tight. Red shifts his body and puts his foot on the bottom rope. Matt picks up Red and puts him in a side waistlock. Matt drives Red down to the canvas with a side suplex. Matt covers Red.

 

 

One……

 

 

Two…..

 

 

Matt pulls Red off the canvas. Matt slaps Red across the face and hooks him. Matt takes Red over with a German Suplex. Matt doesn’t hold the bridge, instead he puts a choke sleeper on Red. Red is gasping for oxygen and he may be seconds away from passing out. Jeremy Red is unable to reach the ropes. The referee checks the arm of Red. The arm lifts and drops one time. The referee checks the arm again. The arm lifts and drops a second time. The referee is going to check the arm a third time but Matt breaks the hold. Matt picks up Red and puts him in a standing headscissors. Matt hoists Red up and drills him with a huge power bomb. Matt picks up Red again and Matt hooks him in a rear waistlock. Matt hits a backdrop suplex to Jeremy Red. Red thrashes on the canvas in pain. Matt picks up Red and hoists him up onto his shoulders into a torture rack.

 

Coach:Matt is bending the body of Jeremy Red over his shoulders. Red could have a snapped back if he doesn’t submit. Matt is pouring the pressure on.

 

Cole:Matt is looking focused on breaking Jeremy Red’s back.

Caboose:Of course he is. Matt is a sick, psychopath who doesn’t care about his fellow man.

 

Red looks about ready to submit and Matt spins the rack and turns it into a reverse neckbreaker. Matt picks up Red and Matt sets up Red onto his shoulders. Red is driven down to the canvas with a TKO. Red is down and Matt is not going for the cover. Matt is going to go up top. High risk move on the way. Red is slowly pulling himself back to his feet and Matt leaps off. Matt misses a top rope clothesline to Red and crashes the canvas hard. Red looks like he hit the jack pot and covers Mad Matt hooking the leg.

 

One…..

 

 

Kickout. It will take more then a missed move to cause Mad Matt to be pinned. Red picks up Matt and Red hits a DDT to Matt. OH MY GOD. Jeremy Red can wrestle. Red rolls Matt over and Red drops a knee to the forehead of Matt. Red picks up Matt and Red throws Matt into the ropes. Red catches Matt in a sleeperhold. Red wrenches the neck but Matt counters with a jawbreaker. Red gets up holding his jaw and MATT TAKES RED OUT WITH A SICK SUPERKICK. Red falls to the outside. Matt rolls to the outside and hoists Jeremy Red over his shoulder. Matt takes a running start but Jeremy Red slips behind and Matt runs headfirst into the post.

 

Caboose: This is the chance for Jeremy Red to get the win. He must do it now. Matt is stunned from colliding head on with that post.

 

Cole:Red is lasting longer then he should have. Matt should have won this match several minutes ago.

 

Coach:I think Matt was getting a little too cocky in the early stages, Michael.

 

Caboose:No, he’s just washed up after submitting like a little crybaby last Sunday.

 

Red throws Matt into the ropes and Red grabs Matt. Red hits a reverse neckbreaker. Red covers Matt hooking the leg.

 

 

One……

 

 

Kickout….

 

 

Red grabs Matt and puts Matt’s head in between his legs. Red hoists Matt up but he wrenches his back. Red looks like he was going for a piledriver or a power bomb. Matt knees Red and puts him in the reverse facelock. Matt hoists Red up halfway twice, teasing the Shadow of Madness. Matt hits a reverse facelock spun into an elbowdrop instead. Matt picks up Red off the canvas and hoists him onto his shoulders in a reverse Gory Special. Matt flips down Red with a bulldog from that position. Matt rolls over Red’s fallen body and Matt locks on a full nelson camel clutch. Matt wrenches back Red’s arms for a few seconds before dropping the hold. Matt picks up Red and armwringer into a knee to the gut. Matt bounces off the ropes and drives Red facefirst into the canvas with a Rocker Dropper.

 

Caboose:As much as I hate to admit this, Jeremy Red’s chances of winning have just deflated.

 

Coach:Matt is signalling for the end. This time it won’t be the Shadow of Madness tease. It will be the real thing.

 

Cole:Matt is setting it up now.

 

Matt goes for the Shadow of Madness but Red scissors onto the ropes and Matt attempts to pull him off with all of his might. Matt finally breaks the hold and as Red gets up, Matt nearly takes Red’s head off with a running Radar of Madness. Matt covers Red hooking the leg.

 

 

One……

 

 

 

Two……

 

 

 

Thr….Red somehow gets the shoulder up. Matt gets a crazed look in his eye and picks up Red. Matt hooks Red and lifts him up for the Shadow of Madness but Red somehow flips out of it landing on his knee. Red looks like he may have injured his leg.

 

Caboose:Red hit that brillant countermove but he may have paid the price.

 

Coach:Red’s own knee cracked underneath his body weight.

 

Cole: Matt isn’t buying this, however.

 

Matt attempts to get Red but the referee stops him. The referee helps Red up and Red shoves the referee into Matt. Red grabs Matt by the hair and rolls him into a small package. Red pulls the tights. The referee gives the fastest three count on record. You could have blinked and the count would have been over.

 

Coach:That was a screwjob right there. That referee’s count was a little on the fast side.

 

Caboose:Are you trying to trivaltize Jeremy Red’s biggest victory in his career….

 

Cole:That was the only victory in his career and he pulled the tights, shoved the referee into Matt, and got a fast count from said referee.

 

Caboose:That count was fair and you know it.

 

Matt is up and he is shocked because it happened so fast. Jeremy Red takes a roll of One Hundred Dollar bills from his tights and hands it to the referee. Red takes off but the referee is not so lucky. Matt grabs the referee up and drops him on his head with the Shadow of Madness.

 

Caboose:What a sore loser.

 

Coach:Matt was screwed out the victory. He is going to become even more edgy now.

 

Matt takes the money from the fallen referee and throws it out into the crowd where some fans fight for it. Matt walks off. You better believe that if he finds Jeremy Red, there will be hell to pay.

[Zack Malibu 0]

(We cut backstage, where the cameraman looks to be walking down a dimly-lit hallway, as we hear loud belt snaps from somewhere. The cameraman eventually finds a door, and cracks it open, sticking his lens in the crack. We then see Gibraltar, with his wrists chained to the wall of this run-down, grimey-looking room, as St. Andrew whips him repeatedly, on his bare back, with a belt.)

 

ANDREW: This is for letting Brock Auustin knock you down! (belt whip) This is for letting Brock Auustin choke you out! (belt whip) This is for letting Hoff tackle you! (belt whip) This is for not staying in the ring the entire distance of the match, and costing the Communion the HeldDOWN~! World Title! (belt whip)

 

GIBRALTAR: AAAAAARH!

 

ANDREW: Is any of this getting through to you? (Gibraltar stays silent) Fine...Nathaniel, Michael...(The Minions step forward, out of the darkness)...attack!

 

(Michael and Nathaniel attack Gibraltar with rapid-fire forearms, kicks, and punches, until Gibraltar seemingly has enough, and, in an incredible display of brute power, pulls his hands free of the chains on the wall! Gibraltar then grabs both Nathaniel and Michael up, by the throat with seperate hands, and is ready to drive them down with a double chokeslam.)

 

ANDREW: Gibraltar, stop! Stop! (Gibraltar, seemingly hypnotized by Andrew, lets both Minions go scotch-free). I guess I was wrong; you are a monster. You just showed me right there the type of mentality that my one-man army of misfortune needs to have. Attacking the Minions, despite you three being brethern...that's the act of a heartless monster. That's why you are my one-man army of misfortune. That's why you are the protector of all that we believe. That's why you are, without a shadow of a doubt, the single deadliest human being, if you even are human, in this promotion today. We will put the past behind us...and now, you will be christened yet again. (Andrew puts his palm up in Gibraltar's face, and lowers it, causing Gibraltar to bow before him) We will have revenge on those who have sinned before us. Before long...Hoff, Brock, the powers more than we ever possibly could be will have their way with you, and I guarantee, you will NOT be happy! (Andrew crosses Gibraltar, as the camera pans over to Rick Heyross, who's trying to peek in on what's going on.)

 

HEYROSS: I hope they're not busy....(swings the door wide open, as the cameraman follows him inside).

 

ANDREW: Who exactly do you think you are?

 

HEYROSS: I am Rick Heyross, the agent to the "Current Big Thing" Brock Auustin. (Gibraltar stands up) Relax, big man; I mean no harm. Listen, I come to you with a huge opportunity. I know you're not too happy with my man Brock. I mean, after all, he did knock your monster Gibraltar flat on his ass...(Gibraltar charges slightly forward)..I said relax! Listen, Andrew; I know your church is always in need of more additions to the donation basket, and if you agree to go through with me on this plan, I guarantee a HEFTY amount of cash will be presented, in my name, to the Communion.

 

ANDREW: Go on; I'm listening.

 

HEYROSS: You see, I've been in meetings all week, behind closed doors, attempting to get my man Brock Auustin a World Title shot. However, Northstar's not budging when it comes to his stance on not giving out many, if any at all, World Title shots until after Anglemania. So, me and the GM came to an agreement: if I could get Brock a partner for next week, he and said partner would get a shot at TNT's World Tag Team Titles. Now, I thought long and hard about who I should ask first, but looking back, I shouldn't have had to think that hard. This opportunity makes itself: two evil masterminds, those being myself and you, leading the two single most destructive forces in this promotion in Brock Auustin and Gibraltar, to tag team gold. I mean, your monster was, without a doubt, the single strongest force in the Rumble on Sunday; he singlehandedly eliminated eight men by himself...that's nearly one-third of the field!

 

ANDREW: You're right; Gibraltar is the single most dangerous juggernaunt this promotion's ever seen.

 

HEYROSS: So, whatcha say...next week: you and me bring "The Current Big Thing" Brock Auustin and "The Current Humongous Thing" Gibraltar together to lead them to a World Tag Team title reign that will NEVER end?

 

ANDREW: (extends his hand as Heyross does, and they shake) I think you have yourself a deal. Next week, we obtain the richest prize in tag team wrestling. Now, could you please do me a favor?

 

HEYROSS: Anything.

 

ANDREW: Get the hell out!

 

HEYROSS: Alright, I'm going! I'm going! (The cameraman and Rick Heyross leave the room for the hallway, as we head elsewhere backstage....)

 

 

 

::The scene opens backstage in front of the HeldDOWN~! interview set, where we see Macho Man Randy Savage standing alongside THE ROOKIE~! Chris Bryte. Bryte's wearing a blue "HeldDOWN~!" t-shirt, blue jeans, and tan Timberland boots. His long, brown hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and he has a slight smile on his face as he rubs his goatee. Savage holds the official HeldDOWN~! mic to his lips and begins to speak::

 

Savage: OOOH YEEEAH! It's the MACHO MAN Randy Savage standing backstage at HeldDOWN~! Yeah! And I'm standing back here with a young up and coming star! And I say he's a STAAARRRR~!, I don't mean star in the Hollywood sense...not like me, who's a BIG-TIME HOLLYWOOD STAR~! Who had a feature role in Spider-Man...who SHOULD have gotten the starring role in "3 STAGES OF HELL!!!!!" Who's a better actor than that punk Josh Duhamel EEEVER was! Yeah!

 

Director: (off camera) Randy...

 

Savage: That guy is a pansy! YEEAH~! A worthless pansy!

 

Director: Randy...

 

Savage: Hell, if I wanted to watch a movie starring a PAAAANSY, I'd go watch one of Hulk Hogan's movies! Ya hear that Hogan?! You pansy! You gutless...

 

Director: RANDY!!!!!

 

Savage: (startled) Wha...what the...(looks around and spots Bryte) oh, right! The interview!

 

::Bryte glares at Savage somewhat uneasily as Savage takes a deep breath to compose himself, and then continues::

 

Savage: AAAAAANYWAAAAAY...Chris Bryte! A few weeks ago, you made your professional wrestling debut with a win over Panther! You beat Panther...just like I'd beat that coward Hulk Hogan if...

 

Director: RANDY!!!

 

Savage: ...when you beat Panther, you earned yourself a contract with the HeldDOWN~! brand! It's been a while since the match and since we last saw ya here Chris...how bout you let everybody know just what you've been up to and what's been going through you're mind since your big win?

 

Bryte: Well Macho Man, first, before I say anything else, I'd like to thank the person who helped get me here! I'd like the thank the person who helped setup my tryout match, and a person who has stuck by me through...through...

 

::Bryte slowly turns towards Savage, who's muttering inaudible threats directed at both Hogan and Duhamel. Bryte nervously takes a step away from Savage before continuing::

 

...through the thick and thin. And that person I'm talking about is none other than Tina...(winks at the camera) thanks for everything, baby! (mild crowd pop) And as for the match with Panther...the big win...Macho, the only way I can describe the feeling is...well...indescribable! I mean...Panther's a great wrestler! He's the new 24/7 Champion for God's sake! And I beat him! Fair and square, all by myself, in the middle of the ring! I beat him! In my first match EVER, I BEAT HIM! I think that says a lot about me, Mach! I mean...if he's the 24/7 Champ, I guess that would make me like the uncrowned 24/7 Champ or something. I mean...I beat him...right in the ring, and...

 

Familiar voice: Hold up, hold up, HOLD UP!!!

 

::Startled, both Savage and Bryte turn to their left, and a shadow falls over Chris Bryte's frame. The camera slowly pans right, and the crowd pops wildly as Panther's image comes into view. Wearing a black and red 76ers cap, a matching shooting shirt, loose-fitting black jeans and black boots, and with the 24/7 title belt draped over his right shoulder, Panther glares in Bryte's direction with a slight smile on his face. Bryte's eyes open wide with fear, and he holds up his hands as if he's about to reason with Panther::

 

Bryte: (stuttering) L-L-LOOK...I...I...I dunno...

 

Panther: (extending his open right hand towards Bryte's face) STOP!!! Just STOP...THE BULLSHIT! (crowd pops in the background) You...the Uncrowned 24/7 Champion?! (Scoffs) Son, I dunno what storybook world you're living in, but I think it's about time somebody gave your little ass a reality check! Nah, nah...scratch that...I think it's about time somebody gave your ass a little dose of THE TRUTH! And THE TRUTH IS...Chris...you're not a Champion! Hell, you're not even a good wrestler. The one thing that I can say about you for sure is that you, Chris Bryte, are NOT IN MY LEAGUE!

 

Bryte: Oh...oh yeah?!

 

Panther: Oh yeah! See, Chris, I'll give you your props! You beat me! Regardless of how you won, regardless of how the match went down, you beat me, and I'd never try to deny that! But now I'm hearing all this talk about you running around the locker room telling everybody that you're better than me! You come out here on TV and have the nerve to call yourself the Uncrowned 24/7 Champ! GET THIS THROUGH YOUR FUCKIN' HEAD, CHRIS, that bullshit win you got over me a few weeks back doesn't make you anything special! It doesn't make you some kinda superstar, because if you ask anyone...hell, if anyone even knows who the hell you are, you ask them! You ask them about the Champ of Champs, and they'll tell you the exact same thing I am about to tell you now, and that's that I've got more talent, more skill, more in-ring prowess in my pinky toe than you've got in your entire body!

 

Bryte: (angered) You know what, Panther? You talk a good game...and I'll give you your props too! You're a great wrestler, but until you actually beat me in the ring, you need to keep your damn mouth shut! Ok?!

 

::Bryte is breathing deep, rapid breaths as he stares directly at Panther, who coolly stares in his direction. He slowly removes his sunglasses, folds them up then hangs them from the collar of his shirt. Bryte looks down at the glasses, nervously anticipating what Panther will do or say next. In the background, Savage looks on intently as Panther rolls his eyes and speaks::

 

Panther: So you think you're the Uncrowned Champ?

 

Bryte: Wha...

 

Panther: Yes or no! Do you think that this 24/7 belt belongs to you?

 

Bryte: Yeah! In fact...I KNOW it belongs to me!

 

Panther: Well I tell you what...what are you doing tonight?

 

Bryte: You mean BESIDES Tina? (crowd "oooh's" in the background)

 

Panther: (smirks) Cute. But listen...you wanna prove that you're worthy of this belt...you wanna prove that you're better than me, then you'll face me right here, tonight on HeldDOWN~! And hey...I'm so confident that I can beat you, that Chris Bryte, if by some stroke of luck you do manage to fluke out another win, not only will I give you this belt, I'll give you my career, because if I can't beat you, I don't deserve to wrestle here on HeldDOWN~! or anywhere!

 

::There's a long silence, as Bryte and Panther engage in an intense staredown. Chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" can be heard inside of the arena, bringing a slight smile to Panther's lips. Then, the silence is broken::

 

Panther: So what's it gonna be? (Extends his right hand) You down?

 

Bryte: Oh yeah...(grabs Panther's hand) I'm down! I'm down!

 

Panther: Good!

 

::The two firmly shake hands, much to the crowd's delight. Bryte then turns to walk away, but Panther pulls him back and looks him squarely in the eye::

 

Panther: See Chris...tonight, I'm gonna make an example out of you, and message to everybody in the HeldDOWN~! locker room! Everybody, from the Chris Brytes of the world right on up to the World Champ himself...Calvin Szechstein. No matter who you are, in the end...there's no right way, there's no wrong way, there's only the Panther's way...and guess what, Chris! THERE CAN'T BE ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!!

 

::Panther quickly releases the handshake and shoves Bryte down, sending him crashing right into Savage's legs before walking out of camera shot::

 

 

 

Savage: (shoving Bryte away) Get your head outta my crotch! THERE YA HAVE IT, BROTHA!!!!! The match is set! The challenge has been accepted! Panther and Chris Bryte, right here tonight! 24/7 Title on the line...Panther's career on the line as well! What a match it's gonna be! What a bloodbath we're gonna see! And you pay attention Hulk Hogan!

 

Director: Oh God!

 

Savage: YEEEAH! When I get my hands on you, Hogan, I guarantee you'll get much of the same! DIG IT, BROTHA?! I'LL BEAT YA LIKE A STEP CHILD!!!!! I'll...I'LL SNAP YA LIKE A SLIM JIM!!! I'll...I'll...I'LL STICK IN MY THUMB AND PULL OUT A PLUMB!

 

Director: CUT HIS MIC OFF!!! CUT HIM OFF!!!

 

Savage: YEEEAH! AND YOU CAN BRING THAT PUNK DUHAMEL TOO! I'LL TAKE YA ALL ON, BROTHA! YEEEAH! I'LL SLAP...

 

::The screen suddenly snows out, and we fade to a commercial::

[Zack Malibu 0]

Cole: Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! Michael Cole alongside DA COACH~! and Caboose, and up next, it'll be the 24/7 Champion, Panther, defending his title against newcomer Chris Bryte in a match we saw made backstage earlier on. Fans, let's take you back to the New Year's edition of HeldDOWN~! to show you what happened the last time these two men met!

 

::The HeldDOWN~! logo, followed by the words "FOUR WEEKS AGO" flash onto the screen and fade out as footage of the first Panther/Chris Bryte encounter appears on screen. Panther has his arms wrapped around Bryte's waist as he attempts to pull him away from the bottom rope, but Bryte holds on tightly. Kicking and screaming::

 

Cole: It was four weeks ago when Chris Bryte, a virtual unknown walked off the streets and made a challenge to Panther! At the time, we had no idea why, but tonight, we found out that Panther's former manager Tina was involved in setting up that match!

 

Caboose: Yeah, and the only way I can describe this, Cole, is that Panther took his eye off the ball! Look at that...WHAM!

 

Cole: There you see it! Chris Bryte nailed Panther with the low blow! He follows it up with a go-behind and a roll up! Bryte rolls through the pin, and RIGHT THERE, GUYS!!! RIGHT THERE YOU SEE HIM HOLDING THAT BOTTOM ROPE...1...2...3! AND CHRIS BRYTE SCORES THE UPSET WIN OVER PANTHER!!!

 

Caboose: He embarrassed Panther! He humiliated Panther! He made him the laughing stock of the HeldDOWN~! locker room!

 

Coach: Yeah, well since that time, my man Panther's definitely stepped up his game! He won the 24/7 Title in the Prism match just two weeks ago! Last week, he had his very first title defense...a successful one against the great Peter Knight! And then this past Sunday at Anglepalooza in the Royal Rumble match, Panther shocked the world when he eliminated OAOAST mainstay, The Superstar!

 

Cole: Yes, but the loss to Chris Bryte has eaten Panther alive! It has gotten under his skin and driven him to this point, and tonight, if he is unable to defeat Chris Bryte, not only will he lose the gold, but he will also lose his career! He has vowed that he will never wrestle again if he loses to Chris Bryte here tonight!

 

Caboose: And I, for one, hope that Chris Bryte beats the hell outta him! I hope he embarrasses Panther again, and drives him right outta the sport! I'd love to see the man's hopes and dreams shattered live on national TV!

 

Cole: I know you would! Fans...the time for talk is done, let's take you down to ringside where...apparently, it's do or die for the 24/7 Champ!

 

::The HeldDOWN~! logo flashes upon the screen again, and we're taken back to ringside, where Chris Bryte is standing in a far corner, stretching and jogging in place. He's wearing long blue and silver tights and white boots. His eyes are fixated on the entrance as the ring announcer walks toward the center of the ring and begins to speak::

 

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship!!! Introducing first...THE CHALLENGER...hailing from Topeka, Kansas, weighing in at 175 pounds, here is CHRIS BRYTE!!!!

 

::Bryte steps toward the center of the ring and raises a double fist into the air, drawing a STRONG negative reaction from the crowd. Suddenly, the arena lights drop, and "State Prop (You Know Us)" hits the PA system. After about 7-8 seconds...

 

**BOOOOOOOOM**

 

...the arena is rocked by a HUGE pyro blast from the stage, and flashing red lights swarm the arena, roaming the crowd for a few moments before converging on the entrance, where Panther appears through a thick cloud of smoke. Wearing his black ring gear with red trim, with the 24/7 Title belt draped over his shoulder, Panther coolly walks towards the edge of the stage and scours the arena, waiting for the cue in the music. He then looks towards the ring, and as the horns begin blaring over the PA system, Panther flings the belt off of his shoulder and raises his title belt high above his head...holding the pose as bright white spotlights illuminate the HeldDOWN~! set, then suddenly snaps the belt down by his right side. The spotlights disperse about the arena, Panther flings the belt back over his right shoulder, then starts down the entrance ramp to ringside::

 

Announcer: AND HIS OPPONENT...he hails from Philadelphia, PA...weighing in tonight at 198 pounds...he is the reigning OAOAST 24/7 Champion...PAAAAAAAAAAAANTHEEERRRRRR!!!!

 

Cole: And as the 24/7 Champion makes his way out here, we'll take the time to showcase the brand spankin' new Panther shirt, part of the all new OAOAST Shopzone!

 

 

Caboose: I'll buy one for you, Coach. That way you can at least say you've had a pussy on you.

 

Coach: HAHA! Yeah...uh...um...I mean. Huh.

 

::The crowd pops as his name is announced, and Panther continues down the ramp to the ring. When he reaches ringside, he tosses the title belt over the top rope and into the ring, where it's caught by the official, then takes a vertical leap onto the ring apron, where he flashes a smile in Bryte's direction before stepping through the ropes and into the ring. He immediately walks over to the referee and snatches the title belt from his hands, raising it high above his head for the world to see, as numerous flashbulbs go off around the arena. He then shoves the official aside, turns towards the main camera and lays the belt flat on the mat in front of him, and as the horns begin blaring once again, Panther takes stance behind the belt. On cue, the arena goes black, and four white spotlights roam the crowd to the beat of the music...getting brighter...brighter...and brighter before converging on the center of the ring, where Panther snaps his right fist into the air and pyro explodes from all four ringposts. The flashing red spotlights return, Panther grabs the belt once more, walks towards the main camera and steps up onto the middle and bottom ropes with his right and left leg respectively, using his left hand to support his weight as he raises the belt into the air with his right hand. Fans cheer and take pictures before Panther hops down and walks toward the other side of the ring, and after motioning for the fans to "get up", he climbs the ropes in similar fashion, raising his title belt a second time as fans on that side of the arena cheer and take pictures. The arena lights begin to return to normal and Panther leaps down from the ropes, walks towards the center of the ring and hands the belt back to the ref, who raises it high into the air before sending it down to the timekeeper's table. The music begins to die down, Panther and Chris Bryte go face to face in the center of the ring, and the official calls for the bell::

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Cole: There's the bell, folks!

 

Caboose: Finally. I hope Panther enjoyed that drawn out entrance of his, because I've got a feeling that tonight will be the last time we ever see it!

 

Coach: C'mon, Boosy! I mean...you don't honestly think this Chris Bryte kid has a chance against Panther, do you?

 

Caboose: I didn't think he stood a chance the last time...but look how that turned out!

 

Coach: Yeah, but c'mon...I mean...what are the chances of Chris Bryte upsetting a talent like Panther TWICE?!

 

**POP-POP-POP-POP-BOOOOM**

 

::A series of pyro explosions go off at the entrance, and the "You Gets No Love (Remix)" by Faith Evans hits the PA system. A bright red spotlight emits from the entrance, highlighting the silhouette of a female figure::

 

Cole: You know what, Coach...call me crazy, but I think Bryte's chances just got a little bit greater!

 

Coach: THAT'S TINA!

 

Indeed! Tina struts out from the locker room to a mixed (but mostly positive) reaction from the crowd. The lights return to normal and the camera focuses on the ring, where Panther is facing the entrance, looking at Tina with a look of anger and confusion on his face. Seeing that Panther's back is turned, Chris Bryte decides to take advantage of the distraction, charging at the 24/7 and flooring him with a clubbing forearm to the back of the neck!!!

 

Cole: HEY, DAMN IT! CHRIS BRYTE FROM BEHIND!!!!

 

The music stops abruptly and the crowd boos wildly in the background as Panther falls forward, landing throat-first across the middle rope. Bryte immediately pounces on the fallen champion, clubbing him with overhand rights and forearms to the back of the head and to the shoulder blades, then planting his knee into the back of his neck, choking Panther across the rope. The referee attempts to pull Bryte off of Panther, as Tina makes her way down to the ringside area with a smile on her face.

 

Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, Panther is in trouble here following that distraction...that distraction from Tina, and Caboose, you're laughing!

 

Caboose: Of course I'm laughing, Cole, because this is great! Panther is finding out the hard way that hell hath no fury like the wrath of a woman scorned!

 

The official is finally able to pull Bryte off of Panther, and pushes him out towards the center of the ring, giving Panther an opportunity to recover. Panther is almost foaming at the mouth as he gasps for air. Meanwhile, Chris Bryte argues with the official about the break, when suddenly...

 

Cole: WAIT A MINUTE!!!!

 

...TINA runs over to the apron, graps Panther's head with both hands and pulls down, again choking him on the middle rope! The crowd boos wildly, in the background, and small chants of "She's got herpes" can be heard towards the back of the arena.

 

Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot believe this! This match...for the 24/7 Title...hell, with Panther's career on the line, has just become a two-on-one affair! Panther is falling victim to the numbers game! Damn it! Damn it to hell!

 

Tina releases her grip on Panther when the official turns back around and eyes her suspiciously. Again, Panther gasps for air, breathing deep labored breaths as Tina holds up her hands and backs away innocently. The ref starts towards Panther, but Bryte grabs him by the shoulders, turns him around and pushes him back into a far corner. Upon seeing this, Tina springs into action yet again, leaping at Panther and clutching his head once again, trying to choke him across the middle rope. This time, however, Panther puts up more of a fight, grabbing Tina by the hair and pulling her up onto the apron. As the former allies wrestle along the middle rope, Chris Bryte runs to the ropes opposite them, rebounds and comes at Panther with a full head of steam. He then leaps into the air, attempting to come down across Panther's back with what Kevin Nash would call a "squisher"...but alas...

 

Cole: OH!!! HE GOT TINA!!! CHRIS BRYTE GOT TINA!

 

Caboose: What?!

 

FATE! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL?!?!?!? At the last second, Panther manages to roll out of the way, leaving Tina's draped across the middle rope as Bryte comes down across the back of her head and neck. Tina's head snaps violently across the middle rope, and the force of the blow is enough to propel her backwards off the apron and hard onto the thin mats at ringside. Distressed, Bryte stands upright and looks down at Tina, who's holding the back of her head on the floor. He slowly runs his hands through his hair and turns back towards Panther, who's standing on the opposite side of the ring with a cocky smile on his face!

 

Bryte: YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! YOU SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!

 

Coach: That fool done lost his mind!

 

Bryte furiously charges at Panther, who manages to slip under a looping right hand from Bryte and run to the ropes. Bryte attempts to catch him coming off with another right, but Panther ducks it and runs to the other side! This time, Bryte tries to catch him with a reverse elbow, but Panther ducks that and hits the ropes a third time. This time, Bryte catches him coming off with what appears to be a sidewalk slam attempt, but Panther backflips through the move and lands on his feet. He then locks his arms around Bryte's waist as if he's setting up for a gutwrench suplex, but instead turns him upside down into tombstone position.

 

Coach: Uh oh!

 

Cole: Panther's got him set up! We could be getting ready to see The Truth, ladies and gentlemen.

 

Panther struggles to position Bryte as he kicks his legs wildly, desperately attempting to escape the hold...and he does so, slipping off of Panther's right shoulder and land on his feet behind him. He then shoves Panther into the ropes, and attempts to catch him with a high elevation dropkick coming off...

 

 

 

...but Panther holds onto the ropes, and Bryte goes crashing to the canvas, hitting the back of his head off the mat. Panther smiles sinisterly as Bryte rolls around on the canvas clutching his head. He starts to move in for the kill, when suddenly, an angry Tina hops onto the apron and grabs Panther by the back of his jersey. Panther turns sharply towards Tina, who begins berating the 24/7 Champ, screaming obscenities and jamming her finger squarely into his chest. Annoyed, Panther merely rolls his eyes, shrugs his shoulders and pie-faces Tina, shoving her down from the apron and back to the floor, garnering a huge pop from the crowd. Meanwhile, Bryte scrambles to the ropes opposite the Champion of Champions, again, hoping to take advantage of Tina's distraction. He pulls himself back to his feet and charges at Panther, who manages to turn around just in the nick of time and sidestep the youngster, using his momentum to send him up and over the top rope and onto Tina, who had just gotten to her feet on the arena floor. Inside the ring, Panther raises his right fist into the air and walks to the far side of the ropes, as chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" echo throughout the arena. On the floor, Tina shoves Chris Bryte off of her and angrily slams against the ringside mats before climbing back to her feet.

 

Coach: Tina's having a fit out there!

 

Cole: Well...thus far, things not going Tina's way in this one...

 

Caboose: I can't believe you two. How can you sit back and ignore Panther's blatant abuse of a woman?!

 

Cole: Excuse me?!

 

Caboose: Oh, don't play dumb with me Cole...wait, I forgot! You aren't playing...but still! You saw it as well as I did...Panther viciously brutalized this poor young woman, Tina! A woman who cared about him...a woman who loved him! He...

 

Cole: She put her hands on him first!

 

Caboose: That is no excuse! This Panther...he's a sick, depraved individual! He's a poor excuse for a human being, and he has no place in an organization such as the OAOAST! He should be fined, suspended, arrested and thrown under the jail!

 

Cole: Will you stop?! Tina and Bryte are down on the arena floor, and they are not happy, folks!

 

No they are not. An angry Chris Bryte climbs back onto the apron, preparing to re-enter the ring, but Tina grabs him by the waist and yanks him down. She then grabs his face with both hands and pulls him close, whispering strategy into his right ear. Panther spies the pair from the ring and signals to the crowd, drawing another pop. He then hits off the far rope, dashes across the ring...

 

Caboose: Tina! Look out!

 

She saw him! Tina quickly clues Bryte in on the situation and they scatter in opposite directions as Panther fakes a dive, leaping over the top rope and landing on the ring apron. Tina quickly climbs the steel ring stairs and begins yelling at Panther, again drawing his attention. As Panther turns once again to face Tina, Chris Bryte scrambles onto the apron, charges at Panther and knocks him to his knees with another clubbing forearm to the back.

 

A gleeful Tina leaps off the stairs, clapping for Bryte as he goes to work on Panther on the apron. He grabs Panther by the hair drapes him across the top rope, climbing onto the bottom rope for leverage as he presses down onto the back of Panther's neck, choking him once more. Bryte then fires off three HARD forearm shots to Panther's back before turning around and raising his arms into the air, drawing boos from the crowd.

 

Cole: Thanks to Tina, Chris Bryte is in control of the match!

 

Caboose: Yeah, but I dunno what he's posing for, Cole! If he wants that title, he needs to stay on him! Don't let up!

 

As if she was able to hear Caboose's comments, Tina shrieks at Bryte, "STAY ON HIM, CHRIS! STAY ON HIM". Chris, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, leans over towards Tina to hear her instructions...leaving himself open for a HARD boot to the midsection from the 24/7 Champ. Panther fires off a second boot...and a third! One more doubles Chris Bryte over, and the crowd begins to come alive as Panther backs up against the ringpost and charges at Bryte, leaping over the rookie and taking him off of the apron with a sunset flip...

 

**THUD**

 

...causing Bryte's head to smack hard off the arena floor. The crowd cheers loudly once again as Panther springs back to his feet, again, with his trademark smirk on his face, and begins walking around the ringside area, tagging the hands of ringside fans along the way.

 

Cole: Chris Bryte is hurt, and he is hurt badly, folks!

 

Coach: Yeah, Panther knocked his brains out with that move, I swear! If you go around the ring, I guarantee you will see that man's brains just lying on the ground!

 

Cole: Yeah, I'll just take your word for it, Coach. Chris Bryte is down, there you see Tina on the other side of the ring, attending to this young man, as Panther...oh no!

 

Oh no, is right. Panther walks over towards the timekeeper's table and snatches the ring bell. He then raises the bell high above his head, drawing another pop from the crowd before starting back around the ring, where Tina is attending to Bryte. Chants of "Fuck him up, Pan-ther, fuck him up **CLAP CLAP**" can be heard as Panther makes his way around the corner and comes face to face with Tina, who is pleading Panther to leave Bryte alone. Panther once again rolls his eyes and shoves Tina backwards, drawing a pop from the crowd. He shoves her a second time, sending her back up onto the entrance ramp before turning back to Bryte, who's now in a kneeling position, attempting to shake loose the cobwebs. Panther then raises the bell and starts towards Bryte...

 

 

 

...but before he can follow through with his swing, Tina rushes up behind him and snatches the bell from his hands. Panther once again turns back towards Tina, allowing Bryte to take advantage, as he scrambles back to his feet and clips Panther's right knee out from under him. The crowd boos once again as Bryte stands upright and begins putting the boots to Panther.

 

Cole: Damn it, Caboose! Tina has done it again!

 

Caboose: Please. After all that young woman has been through in this match at the hands of that brute, Panther, for her to stay in this thing and stand by her man, Cole...is...is...downright heroic!

 

Cole: Oh please!

 

Coach: Now wait a minute, Cole. She is the Superwoman, you know!

 

Caboose: Exactly!

 

Bryte stomps Panther hard into chest, causing Panther to favor the injured area, balling his knees up against his chest and rolling over into a kneeling position. Still feeling the effects of Panther's onslaught, Chris Bryte staggers backwards holding his head, nearly falling off the ramp before Tina catches him by the arm and pulls him towards her. Tina then hands Bryte the bell and points Panther out to him, as Panther begins pulling himself back up into a standing position.

 

Bryte charges at Panther, flattening him with a hard boot to the back of the head. Bryte, now standing near the ringpost on the left side of the ring, raises the bell into the air, and motions for Panther to get up. The fans begin clapping and stomping in unison, rallying behind Panther as Bryte waves him back to his feet. Panther climbs back to a kneeling position, then to a single knee, then finally back to his feet, where Chris Bryte charges him with the bell...

 

 

...BUT PANTHER DUCKS UNDER THE SHOT! Bryte's momentum takes him over and past Panther, who turns around and begins taunting the youngster. Bryte quickly turns back around and darts at Panther a second time, only to be met with a double leg takedown by the Champ of Champs. Panther then cinches up on Bryte's legs, lifting him up onto his shoulders, then nods to the crowd as he falls back, propelling Bryte up into the air with a slingshot...

 

 

**DING**

 

 

...sending both Bryte's and the ring bell richocheting off the steel ring post!

 

Cole: Chris Bryte is down!!!! Chris Bryte...he tried to get the bell up to block it, but his head...hitting off that bell...my goodness.

 

Coach: I guarantee ya his brains have been knocked out now!

 

Cole: Bryte is down...and the youngster has been busted open!

 

A dazed Bryte sits up on the mat and feels his forehead, realizing that for the first time in his short career, he has, indeed, been busted open. Before he can react, however, Panther reaches down, grabs him by hair, pulls him back to his feet and tosses him back into the ring. Panther then climbs back onto the apron, and steps through with his right leg. Before he can get the other leg through, Tina runs towards the apron and clutches at his ankle, preventing the 24/7 Champ from re-entering the ring. Panther reaches back through the ropes and takes a couple of swipes at Tina, but she's set so low that he's unable to reach her. Meanwhile, Bryte pulls himself back to his feet, and ONCE AGAIN he lunges for the distracted Panther, catching him in the back of the knee with another chop block. Panther falls backwards, with his left knee hung up over the middle rope, as Tina yanks on it in an attempt to hyperextend the knee.

 

Cole: This is getting absolutely ridiculous!

 

Coach: Yeah! This is 24/7 rules, but the ref can only allow so much interference from her! I mean...Panther's putting his career on the line here!

 

Caboose: And we could be just moments away from seeing the end of that career! Look at this!

 

Panther clutches his left leg, pulling it close to his chest and rolling over onto his stomach in order to prevent Bryte from attacking the injury. Instead, Bryte grabs Panther's right ankle and drags him out towards the center of the ring, and, with Tina directing traffic from the outside, the young challenger cinches up on the ankle and locks on a Kurt Angle-style ANKLELOCK~!

 

Cole: THE ANKLELOCK~! BRYTE'S GOT THE ANKLELOCK~! PANTHER'S WRITHING IN PAIN!!!

 

Indeed. Panther screams at the top of his lungs as Bryte twists up on the ankle. Tina stands on the outside cheering Bryte on, motioning "TWIST" as Bryte cinches up deeper on the hold. Desperate to escape, Panther begins pulling himself towards Tina and the ring ropes...hand over hand...getting closer...and closer...and CLOSER to the ropes. The crowd begins screaming and stomping, attempting to will Panther out of the hold as the 24/7 Champ comes within inches of the bottom rope.

 

Panther extends his right hand...

 

 

 

...ALMOST THERE...

 

 

 

 

...ALMOST...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...ALMOST...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...HE'S...HE'S....

 

 

 

 

 

Cole: NO!!!!!!!!! TINA...TINA'S PULLING THE ROPE AWAY! DAMN IT!!!!!!!

 

The crowd boos WILDLY, and trash is tossed into the ring as Panther falls to the mat in pain! Bryte yanks Panther back out towards the center of the ring with a huge grin on his face, and then begins to wrench up on the ankle. He actually begins howling like a wolf as he twists up on the ankle. On the floor, Tina shoots Bryte an odd look, and mutters something that appears to be "OOOOOOOOO...KAAAAY!"

 

Caboose: Hehe! Panther really put his foot in his mouth with this challenge, wouldn't you say, Cole?

 

Cole: Unfortunately, that appears to be the case. Panther...I believe that he can beat Chris Bryte! He is certainly a better wrestler than Bryte...maybe will ever be! But he just cannot stand up to the combination of Bryte and Tina! This thing has turned into a glorified handicap match, and unfortunately, Panther may have just talked himself out of a career!

 

Caboose: And it serves him right! The big egomaniac that he is!

 

Cole: He certainly couldn't have foreseen Tina's involvement in this one, Caboose!

 

Caboose: So what? On any given night, any man, regardless of how talented he is, any man or any woman can defeat another wrestler! The last match he had with Bryte should've proved that to him, but it seems to me that it hasn't sunk in yet!

 

Coach: Well, I think it's definitely sunk in now!

 

Tina begins banging her open palms against the ring apron in an effort to cheer Chris Bryte on. The crowd picks up the beat, and begins clapping and stomping in unison, but chanting for Panther instead of for Bryte. Feeling the surge from the crowd, Panther then presses the palm of his right hand up against the mat...then does the same with his left hand. Then, using every ounce of strength in his body, Panther pushes upward, trying to get into a standing position...and he does so! Panther hops on his injured left leg Bryte continues to hold onto the right ankle. Out of desperation, Panther flips forward, with his left leg catching Chris Bryte right up under his left armpit, taking the youngster over with a modified victory roll!

 

Cole: Panther counters the anklelock...Bryte's shoulders are down...

 

Caboose: No!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2....

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Cole: HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coach: NO HE DIDN'T!!!!!!!! IT WAS ONLY A 2!!!!!!!

 

Cole: IT WAS ONLY A 2?!?!??!

 

Coach: YES!!! IT WAS ONLY A 2!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Cole: DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!

 

The crowd boos wildly as Panther sits on the mat in disbelief, questioning the official about the count. Panther then flags the ref, turns over and pushes himself back to his feet, stepping gingerly in order to avoid putting pressure on his right leg.

 

Meanwhile, Bryte turns crawls over towards Tina, asking her what he should do next. Tina's response: "THE ANKLE, DAMN IT!!!! GO BACK TO THE ANKLE!!!!!" Bryte smiles and nods affirmatively before pulling himself back to his feet and rushing in on Panther, who's resting up against the far turnbuckle. He locks his hands and raises them high above his head, preparing to strike with an axehandle blow, when...

 

**CRACK**

 

Crowd: WHOOO~!

 

Panther connects with a FIERCE reverse knife-edge right to the chest. Panther hobbles out of the buckle and over to the ropes on the opposite side, where he attempts to buy some time. Bryte comes right in on him, however, again, coming in with an attempted axehandle...

 

**CRACK**

 

Crowd: WHOOO~!

 

And AGAIN being met with a VICIOUS...VICIOUS chop to the chest!

 

**CRACK**

 

Crowd: WHOOOO~!

 

Panther fires off another chop that has Bryte reeling...but he comes right back at Panther with an overhand right to the shoulder! Panther fires off ANOTHER chop...and Bryte fires off another right hand. Suddenly, Panther switches stances and catches Bryte with a hard left hand jab catches him right on the nose! Panther follows up with another...and another! Panther's mounting a comeback here...

 

 

 

...OH!!!! But a swift kick right to the injured ankle sends Panther reeling back into the ropes.

 

Coach: That may have been the first independent thought Chris Bryte has had in this whole match!

 

Cole: Tell me about it!

 

Bryte fires off another kick right to Panther ankle, causing him to scream in pain. Another kick by Bryte, and the camera cuts to the floor, where Tina is nodding in approval. Bryte then reaches down and grabs Panther left leg, forcing Panther to support himself with his injured ankle. Panther winces in pain as Bryte drags him out towards the center of the ring, perhaps preparing to take him over with a dragon screw. However, before Bryte can execute the move, Panther pushes off the mat with his right leg, propelling himself into the air for an enzuiguri that takes Bryte off of his feet and sends him staggering forward and onto the middle rope.

 

Bryte is down, but the move took its toll on Panther as well, as he rolls on the mat clutching his right ankle. On the floor, a frantic Tina runs around the ringside area and over to Chris Bryte, who's trying to gather himself on the middle rope. She slaps Bryte across the face three times in an effort to get some sense out of him. Bryte then looks up and locks eyes with Tina, who implores Bryte to "finish him". Bryte smiles, wipes the blood from his eyes and pulls himself back to his feet.

 

Caboose: It looks like we're about to see the end here. All you Panther fans, set your VCRs! This is it for the 24/7 Champion!

 

Still somewhat groggy from the punishment he's taken, Bryte then walks over towards a nearby corner and begins to climb the ropes. From the floor, Tina flails her arms wildly, screaming, "NO! NO!" at Bryte, but he continues his climb anyway as Panther slowly pushes himself back to his feet. Bryte stands on the middle turnbuckle, measuring Panther, but then decides to push himself up one more level, climbing ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP!

 

The crowd clamors in the background as Bryte raises his arms into the air, signifying victory. Then, as Panther finally reaches his feet, Bryte leaps off the top rope and into the air, perhaps going for a flying clothesline or a fucked up crossbody! Panther, however, spies him out of the corner of his eye, and turns around just in time to catch him on the way down with a tremendous...

 

Cole: PANTHER CUTTER~!

 

The crowd pops LOUDLY in the background as Bryte recoils off the canvas and falls flat onto his back. Then, Panther crawls over to his prone body and rolls into a cover...

 

Panther hooks both legs...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tina slides into the ring to break up the fall...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...BUT THE REF'S HAND STRIKES THE MAT A THIRD TIME JUST BEFORE TINA CAN PULL PANTHER OFF OF BRYTE!!!!!!!! IT'S OVER!!!!!

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

**Cue "State Prop"

 

Announcer: Here is your winner, and STILL OAOAST 24/7 Champion...PAAAAAAAAANTHEEEERRRRRR!!!!!!

 

The crowd pops in the background as Panther and Tina sit next to one another on the mat, Tina with her face buried in her right hand, almost sobbing as a victorious Panther raises his arms into the air. The official takes the 24/7 Title belt from the timekeeper and carries it out towards the center of the ring where he drapes it over Panther's left shoulder. Panther then turns towards the distraught Tina, who now gazes up at the spotlights in disappointment. Panther smiles warmly at her and, as he's climbing back to his feet, he places his right hand on her head and runs it through her red her. Startled, Tina sharply turns and looks up at Panther, who winks at her and mouths the words "Nice try". Panther then kisses his title belt, steps over an unconscious Chris Bryte and limps towards the ropes, where he steps through, hops out to the arena floor, and starts back up the ramp with the belt raises high into the air. Tina then crawls over to Bryte's fallen body and attempts to revive him, shaking him gently, frequently shooting glances in Panther's direction as he reaches the stage and disappears through the locker room curtains, as we fade out to commercial.

[Zack Malibu 0]

COMMERCIAL*

 

Ready for the Super Bowl this Sunday? Not a fan of New England or Carolina, but still looking to invoke some football spirit into your day? No, we're not trying to hock you the XFL jerseys that were leftover. We use them to wash our cars in the summer. But if you want to take football gear to the next level, try this on for size...

 

 

That's right, it's the Zack Malibu football jersey, now available on OAOAST Shopzone. Show your love for a real athlete, not a bunch of guys padded up with helmets on. Just don't tell them we said that. Especially that Urlacher guy. He'd kill us.

 

www.OAOASTShopzone.com

[Zack Malibu 0]

(The show returns with the following graphic on the screen: "At 2:40 PM, Northstar called various members of the media together, as well as the fellow members of the OAOAST Board of Directors, together for a press conference in the Holiday Inn hotel lobby within a mile of the HeldDOWN~! Arena. The following is footage from that press conference:". We cut to a shot of various media reporters, both seated and shooting on their cameras, with the Board of Directors sitting on both sides of the podium, with a table in front of them. Northstar enters the stage, and goes to the podium....)

 

NORTHSTAR: I'd like to thank the members of the mass media who have joined us here today for this major announcement. (pulls a stapled pack of papers off of the podium and straightens it out, before he starts reading from it) There has been a lot of of commotion both in and around the HeldDOWN~! brand lately, with both Anglemania III, the biggest event in the history of the OAOAST, coming up, as well as John Singleton's newest movie project "Three Stages to Hell" being filmed at our shows. With all the excitement abuzz around our product, we've decided that it's time to set the stage for a project we've had for quite a long time, but haven't had the resources or the utilities to do so. Usually, around this time of year, with the tension building up for Anglemania, many of our wrestlers build rivalries that us, the Board of Directors, try and keep canned up until the big show in March, where we let them, to use an expression, blow up. However, we usually end up having to let the steam out of some of these feuds early, due to we, as bookers, needing exciting matches for our February Pay-Per-View, Zero Hour. We have attempted to put together matches with buzz without giving away too much for Anglemania for Zero Hour in the past, but it has become harder and harder, as our company evolutionizes. That combined with the buzz around our company I spoke of before has presented us with going on this path. For the past few months, we've all seen the X-Division of HeldDOWN~! explode. Whether it be the cage match at Deadly Game, or the amazing Parental Indiscrestion match from the Christmas edition of HeldDOWN~!, or the incredible X-Division Hour-Long Time Gauntlet Match from the January 1st, 2004 edition of HeldDOWN~!, or even last Sunday's tremendous I Quit Match that saw AJ Flaire retain his belt in a hard-fought battle over Mad Matt, there is no denying that the X-Division has arrived. It is with that that I am pleased to announce that, on February 27, eight of the top X-Division superstars from across the country will compete in a one-night, single-elimination tournament, with the winner not only becoming an international megastar, but he will receive the most cherished spot for any challenger for the X-Division belt: facing the X-Division Champion at Anglemania III. This is, what we hope, will be the first annual OAOAST Super X Cup. Now, any questions? (reporters raise their hands) Yes, you!

 

REPORTER ONE: Bob Smith, Channel Eleventy-Billion, Obernoken, Ohio....any word on participants for the tournament?

 

NORTHSTAR: Being the smart businessman that I am, I know that, if we show our entire hand now, it will spoil the excitement for the show, and less people will pay for it. Therefore, we only announcing one first-round match each week, with the bracket order announced at the final edition of HeldDOWN~! before Zero Hour. The first first-round match will be announced tonight. Any more questions?

 

REPORTER TWO: Alex Porteau, unemployed. Will the competitors in this tournament be limited to just HeldDOWN~!?

 

NORTHSTAR: I was trying to keep this under wraps, but I have had successful negotiations with the Intense Zone brand, and we have three of Intense Zone's most skilled competitors signed for this tournament. They will be revealed in the upcoming weeks on our television program. Anyone else?

 

REPORTER TWO: Kurt Angle, Fox Sports Pittsburgh affiliate. Will there be any special stipulations around any of the matches?

 

NORTHSTAR: Not anything involving any weapons, or falls counting anywhere, but we had a meeting last night to determine that the finals of the tournament will be contested under "Pure Wrestling" rules. Those are: number one, a competitor is only allowed three rope breaks. After that, if you grab the ropes in a submission hold, the hold can be kept locked in. Number two, if you exit the ring more than once, you will be disqualified immediately. Final special rule: No closed fists. First one gets a warning, second gets a rope break taken away, and if there's no more rope breaks to take away, the wrestler gets disqualified. The other disqualification rules go along with these. (looks at clock) If you'll excuse me, I have to attend to a meeting with Mr. Singleton right now; but if any of you have any questions, feel free to e-mail, fax, or call me. (Northstar exits the stage.)

 

(Cut to the arena)

 

 

COLE

Well I'll be damned! For all his hissy fits, Northstar has pulled off another major coup, and it looks like the X talent will be the main showcase at Zero Hour.

 

COACH

You've got to give props to those guys. Sly, Mad Matt, AJ Flaire, all of 'em risking life and limb week after week for our pleasure, and they're getting their due.

 

COLE

Speaking of Northstar, we've got him live backstage, let's find out what he's up to now.

 

(Jenna Elfman is seen talking a nameless production assistant. She turns around when she notices HeldDOWN GM, Northstar out of the corner of her eye.)

 

Northstar: Mrs.Elfman.

 

(Northstar leans in to kiss her, but she steps aside)

 

Jenna: Oh! At least buy me dinner first.

 

Northstar: I'll buy you anything you want. For the pale and pitiful world has never been privileged to such exquisite beauty as that of the fair Jenna Elfman.

 

Jenna: Umm?

 

Northstar: Cutie, what I'm trying to get it at, is that I think you're very pretty , we've known each other for some time and I'd love to take you out you some time. It is rare that I get to share a meal with someone...

 

Jenna: Of my majestic and breathtaking beauty? (She laughs) Do you ever talk to your fiance like this?

 

Northstar: Fi-a-n-ce?

 

Jenna: Alix? The cute brunette? Do you ever try and tell her how pretty you she think she is (Jenna slips into a faux French accent) or how you want to romance her over a

bottle of Bordeaux?

 

Northstar: I think I've said something of that nature... Anyway, who cares?! Why do I need to tell her how nice her makeup looks or how beautiful she looks under the moon light?

 

Jenna: Because girls like to hear that stuff. They want to hear it and I think Alix needs to hear it.

 

Northstar: So now you're apeing Dr.Drew?

 

Jenna: No. As your friend I'm giving you some wise advice. Take it from someone who is happily married, just because you placed the ring on her finger doesn't mean you don't have to be captivating and charming. She still needs to be romanced.

 

Northstar: Maybe I don't wanna work the charm? Maybe I don't wanna romance her?

 

Jenna: Uh?

 

Northstar: Maybe I want to romance you?

 

(Northstar leans in for her kiss. His mouth nearly Jenna's but he jerks his head back at the last minute. A smooth smile crosses his lips.)

 

Northstar: I've got to run. Wrestling crap, ya know. We'll talk.

 

(Northstar walks away as we cut back to the S.C)

 

Cole: Northstar never fails to sicken to me. His engagement to Alix is only two months old and he's already hitting on other women. He knows he has cameras every where so he's doing it in front of millions of people! Surely Alix has to see it.

 

Caboose: She's pretending not to see it. If she's going to break up with him she has to at least wait until they're married to get any money.

 

Cole: Alix has more integrity than that.

 

Caboose: Women have no integrity. Why, there was this one girl who used to...

 

Cole: Fans, before Caboose offends any young children who might be watching, we're gonna take five, and come back with Josh's High Five!

[Zack Malibu 0]

Coach: Folks, let's throw you back stage where Josh Matthews is about to hold an on the scene "Josh's high fives" with Jenna Elfman.

 

(Cut backstage to Josh and Jenna. They're both sitting on director's chairs and Josh s holding a set of note cards)

 

Josh: That's J.Math. J to the math! Don't you forget that! Ever! Punk ass........I'm live with "3 stages of hell" star Jenna Elfman. Jenna, welcome. Thank you for being here.

 

Jenna: Anything for the master of the "Mathillenium"

 

Josh: Life word. Your last movie was "Looney Tunes: Back in action" which was a delightful family romp and Caboose's favorite movie. How is "3 Stages" different and similar to "Looney Tunes"

 

Jenna: Ah, a two in one question, clever. Um, I felt that "Looney Tunes" was a movie that really everyone could enjoy. The humor was such that people of all ages could get a laugh. It wasn't to highbrow to go over a child's head, but it wasn't so dumbed down that an adult might be insulted. "3 Stages" is different because it's more of an adult orientated film. Obviously, a child doesn't have any clue as to what a human growth hormone is, and maybe some adults don't either! But, the situations are more adult and the subject matter is more intense. At least, that's what I think. Northstar might have a totally different idea on his movie.

 

Josh: Bitching segue, because that brings me to my next question, how did you get involved with this project? With Northstar?

 

Jenna: You and your two in one questions. Northstar's dad, before he retired was my agent for a time. He was one of the people who helped me make the transition from being a dancer to being a full fledged actress. I knew Northstar before he even knew what a north star was! Yeah....I've known him for a while. He was always kind of a whiny petulant baby. Really spoiled. I'm not saying I didn't like him, we all have our problems. He has his good points. He's sweet and he's passionate about what he believes in so I decided to help him out with his movie.

 

Josh: You didn't need much persuading to sign on for the part?

 

Jenna: No, I didn't. But you know Northstar. Once he starts talking he doesn't shut up. He would go on and on about how this experience would allow me to grow both as a person and artist. He'd say things about how the inner beauty of the movie would help me transcend my limitations. And I'm like, I already said I'd do it just hush your mouth!

 

Josh: Last question, some of your costars have been less than kind to the wrestling industry? Your thoughts on our sport?

 

Jenna: I'm not a fan of pro wrestling. But they're entertainers like me and that means I have a certain respect for what they do. Most of them have been really cordial to us. They aren't wrapped up in themselves like a lot of actors or actresses are. They've tried to have a big sense of humor about all the commotion and I thank them for that.

 

Josh: And I thank you for the interview. We're gonna head back to the ring for some action now, so Coach, Caboose, Cole, back to you.

 

 

 

Michael Buffer: Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for the Mega Magical Fatal Mystery Surprise match between Silver Star and Holly-wood! The rules are as follows: Four chests are set in the ring. At randomly determined intervals a chest will open revealing a weapon that can be used during the match. Once a new chest is opened and a new weapon is brought into play, the previous weapon must be discarded. The loser of the match will be fired from the OAOAST! Without further adieu, let's get ready to ruuuuuu....

 

"Boom" by P.O.D drowns out Buffer's catch phrase! Bubbles rain down from the ceiling and a silver star shines on the top of the entrance ramp. The man himself, Silver Star emerges from the back! The crowd showers him with boo's, but he's to wrapped up in himself to notice their dislike of him.

 

Buffer: Now making his way to the ring from Santa Monica, California......SIIIIILLLLLVEEEEEEER STAAAAAAAAAAR!

 

Coach: Peepers, that is "Boom" by P.O.D off the "3 Stages of Hell" sound track! It is of the illest freshness!

 

Caboose: The soundtrack or the song?

 

Coach: Both, gangsta king! Both!

 

Silver Star makes his way down the ramp, stopping only to rip up a fan's "Silver Star=teh suck" sign. He rolls into the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle. He leans back and raises his arms in the air, an attempt to soak in the crowd's non existent cheers.

 

Caboose: I don't mean to sound sexist here, but back in my day if a man lost to a woman he wouldn't dare show his face the next day.

 

Cole: There won't be a next day, if he's loses this match (knock on wood) he's outta here.

 

A spot light representation of the Hollywood sign shines on the entrance. The poptastic~! sounds of "Into the Hollywood groove" by Madonna and Missy Elliot replaces "Boom"

 

Uh! Awwww! Who that be? Misdemeanor

On an MIC. Uh! Uh!

 

Get into the groove. Let me show you

Some moves. It's best you take it

From me, yeah. Get up on your feet.

Let me step to the beat. Show you

How it should be.

 

Cole: Let me guess, this is "Into the Hollywood Groove" by Madonna and Missy off the "3 Stages of Hell" sound track?

 

Coach: Fo sheazy! This sound track is hella tizight..

 

Buffer: And the opponent, from Beverly Hills, California......HOOOOOLLY-WOOOOOOD!

 

Northstar's step sister makes her way from the gorilla position. She's greeted with a mix of cheers and boo's from the vocal sell out crowd. It's obvious that fan support doesn't matter to her as she walks to ring with a fierce determination. A determination usually reserved for those fighting for the world title.

 

Caboose: This is Holly-wood's Royal Rumble. Her Anglemania. This is where her dream becomes her reality. A reality of a Silver Star free world. She's taking a big risk, but she's looking at even bigger pay off.

 

Cole: I'm not the world's biggest Holly-wood fan, but after all Silver Star has done to make her mad I hope she knocks him right out of the ring and out of HD! Is there a reason he can't act his age around her? Can't he just try and act like mature adult?

 

Coach: I'm an expert in matters of the heart. Holly's a cute girl and Silver Star's a straight man. Any attention he can get from a hottie is okay with him, even if it is negative attention.

 

Cole: If he likes her then why doesn't he just act like a normal human being?

 

Coach: Because he doesn't have enough confidence in his real personality to do that. He thinks if he tries to be normal she won't even notice him.

 

Cole: Well, with a bunch of half naked hunks walking around backstage, who can blame her? Lots of man meat on the HeldDOWN dinner cart. I'll take Northstar for an appetizer, Zack for an entrée and Caboose for dessert with whipped cream on top. Hot damn! Gimmie that!

 

Caboose: I wasn't paying attention, did you say something?

 

*The timekeeper rings the bell*

 

Silver Star offers his right hand as peace offering. Not wanting a peaceful resolution, Holly-wood swats it away! Silver Star sticks out his left hand so Holly-wood sticks him in the gut with a spear! Much to his pleasure she mounts him. Much to his displeasure she starts to rain closed fists on his face! He covers up but Holly's punches break through his arms and connect with his mouth! Finally, he grabs her by the throat and throws her off!

 

Crowd: You suck! You suck!

 

Silver Star staggers to his feet. He's caught by surprise with another spear! Holly-wood mounts her rival but Silver Star is able to roll her over and get on top of her. He pins her arms against the mat and yells at her to stop fighting.

 

Caboose: That's actually a pinning situation he has her in.

 

Holly spits in Silver Star's face causing him to release her arms. He gets to his feet and stumbles to corner as he tries to rid his eye's of spittle. Holly-wood charges to corner and hits Silver Star with a monkey flip! Silver Star lands on his feet! Ever the professional, Holly-wood casually jumps onto the ropes and bounces off, nailing Silver Star in the back with a missile drop kick!

 

Cole: What a maneuver!

 

Caboose: It was a drop kick.

 

Holly-wood brings Silver Star to his feet. She wears him down with a couple of well placed over hand chops then launches him into the ropes with an Irish whip! She throws a poorly timed clothesline that's easily side stepped by Silver Star. He goes behind her and locks her into a sleeper hold. She attempts to break free but he tightens his grip. As he's tries to wear her down, the lights go dim and a purple spotlight shines on Mystery chest number one!

 

Coach: What's in the box?! I gotta know! I just gotta!

 

Coach's and the eager audience's question is answered as the chest suddenly pops open. Silver Star breaks the hold and goes over to get the Mystery item. He reaches into the chest and pulls out a mega magical lasso!

 

Cole: What can you do with a lasso?

 

Silver Star swings the lasso high above his head and launches it forward, ensnaring Holly-wood.

 

Silver Star: Giddy on up, girl!

 

Silver Star pulls Holly-wood towards him and drops her with a short arm clothesline!

 

Coach: That's what you can do with a lasso!

 

He does the short arm clothesline trick three more times. Holly-wood doesn't have the energy or ability to fight her way out the lasso and avoid a few well placed shots to the chest. He yanks the young lady to her feet. The crowd implores him to let her go, but their requests are only met with forearms to Holly's chest. He goes behind her and locks on an inverted face lock, he drops to one knee and drills her back on his knee with an Inverted DDT! Silver Star turns his head away from her as she whimpers in pain. He uses his foot to roll her to the center of the ring for a pin.

 

Pin attempt 1....2..... KICK OUT!

 

A few fans cheer Holly's escape from the pin fall. Silver Star gives her no time to recover as he wraps the lasso around her neck in attempt to choke her out. Holly-wood is able to get to her feet. She tries to jump off the ropes for a sliced bread number two but Silver Star yanks her back to ground, causing her back to crash onto the mat! He places himself next to her and tightens the ropes. Holly-wood looks she's about to pass out.

 

"Please give up!" He yells, watching her struggle to breathe. Holly-wood's defeat is snatched from the jaws of Silver Star's victory as the lights darken and a teal spotlight shines over the second chest!

 

Crowd and Coach: Open it! Open it! Open it!

 

Who ever controls the chest grants the wish of the fans and Coach. The top pops opens and the crowd responds with a pop of their own. Ever the curious monkey, Silver Star lets Holly go free and makes his way over to the chest. He dives in head first and comes up with an official CWM Frisbee!

 

Caboose: A Frisbee? Fuck that noise. This is wrestling not a beach party. You can't do anything with a Frisbee. And if it's a CWM Frisbee, chances are it would break when you threw it.

 

Silver Star echoes Caboose's sentiments and he throws the disc down in anger. As per the rules, the lasso can no longer be used. Silver Star can only rely on his hands and the Frisbee. That's no problem for him as he walks over to Holly-wood and hooks her into a vertical suplex position. He raises her into the air and puts her down with a FALCON ARROW!

 

Pin attempt 1........2.......KICK OUT!

 

Caboose: If he hadn't gone for that Frisbee, and stayed with the lasso, that pin wouldn't have even happened because this match would be over.

 

"Just stay down, eh." Silver Star mutters. Holly-wood doesn't heed his advice as she gets to a vertical base. She's greeted with a European uppercut that sends her reeling backwards. He takes her over with a backdrop attempt, but Holly-wood swiftly flips out! She nails Silver Star with a hard forearm shot to the back of the neck! He stumbles forward, giving her enough time to grab his arm and whip him into the ropes! He bounces back and tries a hurricanrana, but Holly-wood catches him on her shoulders, falls backwards and sends him neck first into the top rope!

 

Caboose: He shouldn't have stopped using the lasso. That lasso was the key to victory in this match. I can't stress that enough. Kids at home, if you're ever in a fight and you have access to a lasso, use it.

 

Unable to stand, Holly-wood falls the ground! Silver Star stumbles backwards, trips over Holly-wood and lands on top of her in a pinning position!

 

1.......2.......KICK OUT!

 

Holly-wood rolls Silver Star off her. She slowly crawls to the forgotten Frisbee as her growing number of fans cheer her on. She gets her hand on it and notices that Silver Star is getting to his feet. "Dodge this!" She screams as she hurls the Frisbee towards Silver Star! As he raises his head to face Holly-wood, he's caught on the bridge of his nose with the little black plastic disc! The crowd cheers as his eyes roll to the back of his head and he falls to the ground like a chopped tree.

 

Caboose: Kids, if you're ever in a match, and have access to a Frisbee, use it. I can't stress that enough.

 

Holly-wood makes her way over to her rival and goes for a pin attempt

 

1.......2.......KICK OUT!

 

Crowd: That was three! That was three! That was three!

 

Holly-wood hops on top of Silver Star and hammers him with punches! She mixes rights with lefts as she lays a hate filled beating on his already busted face!

 

Coach: If I was Silver Star, I'd realize that this is my best chance to pinch her nipples.

 

Caboose: That's kind of hard to do when you're trying to stop your face from being turned into oatmeal.

 

Suddenly, Holly-wood stops her assault. She glances over at the third chest that's sitting next to Silver Star. She dismounts him and heads over to it, curious as to what's inside. She yells at who ever will listen to open the damn chest.

 

Coach: Open it, you tools! There may be a bottle of freezing cold ice water inside!

 

The lights darken, a yellow spotlight shines over the chest and it slowly opens. Holly-wood reaches inside to expose it's contents to the world. Holly-wood starts to gag as the mystery item is revealed as a "Gigli" DVD. "Eww, get it way!" She orders as she throws it back into chest and slams the top shut!

 

Cole: Making fun of Gigli is so last year.

 

Caboose: Tell that to the guy with the initials J.C., he still thinks OJ jokes are hilarious.

 

Coach: They aren't?

 

Silver Star takes advantage of Holly-wood's shocked state and rolls her into a pin!

 

1.....2.....kick out!

 

Both competitors to their feet. Silver Star goes behind Holly with a waist lock. He starts to passionately rub his crotch against her ass, giving her ample opportunity to toss him to the mat with a snapmare take over! She grabs Silver Star by the back of his head and brings him to his feet. She hits him with a few right crosses, and runs to the ropes! She bounces off and leaps into the air going for a spinning leg scissors.....COUNTERED into a tilt-a-whirl slam by Silver Star! Holly-wood hits the mat hard, her head snaps back violently upon impact. Silver Star hooks her leg!

 

Pin attempt 1.....2..........KICK OUT!

 

Caboose: Long two count, ref!

 

Silver Star scoops Holly into his skinny arms. Like always, his attention is diverted by the dimming of the lights. He carefully sets Holly on the ground and heads to the mystery box. The focus of everyone in the building is on the final and largest chest.

 

Coach: What's in that thing?

 

Cole: We're about to find out.

 

Puzzled, Silver Star stares at the massive chest. He's overwhelmed with shock when the box shatters into pieces, revealing the Mystery weapon which is none other than the American Dream himself....DUSTY RHODES!

 

 

The crowd pops huge as the "Common Man" rises to his feet, shakes off the broken pieces of the chest and points a menacing finger at the thunderstruck Silver Star.

 

Caboose: What the hell is that nut doing here?

 

Dusty: Taking care of bidness!!

 

Coach: That's what he's doing here!

 

Caboose: Shut up Rhodes! Shut up Coach!

 

The fans go wild as Dusty slaps Silver Star with across face! Silver Star calls Dusty an "Old fag" and shoves him away! He tries to walk away but an angry Dusty grabs Silver Star's hair and holds him in position.

 

Dusty: Who be bad now? Who be bad now?

 

Crowd: Dream! Dream! Dream!

 

With his free hand Dusty motions for an even more confused than Silver Star, Holly-wood. She tentatively approaches the wrestling legend. He whispers something in her ear and a smile as wide as an ocean crosses her face! Dusty breaks his grip on Silver Star's hair.

 

Cole: Is he letting him go?

 

"Get on wit yo bad self, girlfriend!' Dusty howls to Holly-wood! They play to the rabid fans for a while before nailing a dazed and confused Silver Star with double BIONIC ELBOWS~! The crowd roars in approval at the sight of a classic wrestling move that knocks Silver to the ground!

 

The crowd counts along as Holly-wood makes the pin attempt 1....2.......3!

 

Caboose: No Dusty finish here! This match is over.

 

Cole: Good bye, Silver Star! This is one announcer who won't be missing you any time soon! Don't let the door hit you on the way out! If you had just tried to be yourself then maybe you might still have a job.

 

Dusty grabs a microphone. He walks over to a smiling Holly-wood and raises her arm high into the air.

 

Crowd: Dream! Dream! Dream!

 

Dusty: Yo winnah, if you wheeeel....Holly-wood! Holly-wood be rulin da OAOAST muthaship. Provin she gots what it takes ta be takin care of bidness! Takin it ta da paywindah! She be bad now!

 

Holly-wood continues to beam with pride while shaking Dusty's hand. The Dream lets go of her hand to soak in the crowd's cheers before exiting the ring. Dusty walks around the ring, high fiving fans and kissing female audience members. Finally, he heads backstage. After the commotion dies down, Holly who stayed behind, looks at Silver Star. Her smile turns to a frown, and her jubilation is replaced by sorrow as she realizes she just cost Silver Star his job. She walks over to him, silently practicing an apology. She bends down and tries to help him to his feet, but he weakly pushes her away. Not wanting her pity, he hops out of the ring and heads through the crowd, letting no one see how hurt he is. She leans over the ropes and call out to him. Her pleas go unheard by the man their intended for, as Silver is well out of ear shot.

 

Caboose: What was that about?

 

Cole: I'm not sure, but if this night ends with Silver Star keeping his job, I'm going to be legit P.Oed

 

Coach: Even more P.Oed then when you found out B2K broke up?

 

Cole: Yes. Yes, indeed. I'm talking about "Caroline in the city" cancellation P.Oed

 

Coach: Shit, that's not good, Mikey. Take a chill pill while we fade out for a few.

 

(Michael Cole starts doing breathing exercises, and HeldDOWN~! goes to commerical.)

Edited January 30, 2004 by Zack Malibu

[Zack Malibu 0]

(Back from commercial break with Michael Cole standing in the ring, mic in hand)

 

Cole: At this time I would like to introduce you to the newest member of the HeldDOWN roster…Scott Lunde!

 

(camera pans over to the entry way, Lunde’s theme begins playing and he walks out wearing jeans, and a black sleeveless T-shirt. He pauses a few steps out, turns his head slightly to the right, then slightly to the left, each time taking a quick look to the crowd. Afterwards he continues down the rampway and into the ring next to Michael Cole.)

 

Cole: So tell us, why did you decide to come to the HeldDOWN brand?

 

(Lunde grabs the hand of Cole’s that’s holding the mic and pulls it close to his face while looking at Cole)

 

Lunde: Keep the mic close up kid and I’ll let you know why

 

(Lunde looks out into the camera)

 

Lunde: I chose to come to HeldDOWN for 2 reasons, and 2 reasons only. First off I wanted to face the best that the world has today, and to do that I had to come here. Second, I trained under some of the greatest athletes to ever step in the ring…the late Curt Hennig, Barry Darsow, and John Nord; and I didn’t do so to make friends or get cheered by these people. I’m here for the gold. So (Lunde points into the direction of the camera) to everybody watching, and (Lunde points to the entryway briefly) to the boys in the back…get ready, cause I’m going to go through everyone of ya till I get to the top and get what I came for... The OAOAST World Championship Title.

 

(Lunde pushes Cole’s hand away and leaves the ring through the middle rope. As he hits the floor his theme once again plays and he heads down the ramp to the back. Camera then goes back to Michael Cole who’s standing in the ring looking intimidated, as the cameras fade out on Lunde and cut backstage.)

 

 

( A dejected Silver Star is seen walking through the parking lot. His head is held low and his gym bag is over his shoulder. Holly-wood comes darting on the seen, perhaps to deal another blow to his broken ego!)

 

Holly-wood: Silver Star, wait!

 

Silver Star: Leave me alone.

 

Holly-wood: Please wait.

 

(Silver Star stops walking and turns around)

 

Silver Star: What do ya want? My taxi'll be here any second.

 

Holly-wood: Tell him to turn around. You don't have to leave, you're not fired.

 

Silver Star: I am to. I lost the mega magical match. Remember?

 

Holly-wood: I know that. But, I talked to Northstar and I asked if you could have your job back and he agreed, so there's really no point in you leaving now. Just stay and watch the rest of the show.

 

Silver Star: Psh! Are you for real? The way you run your mouth about me, I thought you'd jump at the chance to get me outta your life.

 

Holly-wood: I thought so to! I thought I'd be happier if I never saw your misshapen face or heard your raspy voice again. But I realized that just because I can't stand you doesn't mean you should be put out of a job. I was being selfish. It was wrong of me to want you fired because you annoyed me. I should just learn to ignore your ignorance. I apologize.

 

Silver Star: Apology accepted, dudette! Does this mean we're friends now?

 

Holly-wood: Of course not, you waste of oxygen! We'll never ever be friends! I'd rather drown myself in a pool of flesh searing acid than ever associate with you! If being friends with you could cure cancer, rid the world of racism and homophobia, and invent a more efficient toothbrush I still wouldn't do it! Not in a gazillion years. You are the single most frustrating and aggravating person I've ever met in my life. Ooh! I'm getting angry just thinking of all the grief you've put me through! I've never ever hated any one more than I hate you.

 

Silver Star: But at the same time, you've never loved any one more than me?

 

Holly-wood: Don't be stupid.

 

Silver Star: Who's being stupid? You l-o-v-e m-e-e.

 

Holly-wood: Knock it off!

 

Silver Star: You're blushing! You love me! Holly and me sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Aww yeah, you love me.

 

Holly-wood: Oh....god....you're right. I...don't get it.

 

(Holly lowers her head in shame)

 

Silver Star: I think I figured it out; you can't help but be attracted to my sexual magnetism and boyish charm

 

Holly-wood: No! No way! You're not charming in the least. You're a boorish, homophobic dolt. I don't know what happened. How could I have fallen in love with you? I've spent so long obsessing about how much I hate you and how much I want to snap your neck in half, that somewhere along the line that hate turned to some sort of twisted love. This...this is awful. I didn't know something so good, could feel so very very bad. Oh crap.

 

(Silver Star picks up Holly and swings her into the air!)

 

Silver Star: I love you to, Holly! This is the most awesomest day in my fucking life!

 

(Holly-wood rests her head on his shoulders)

 

Holly-wood: Oh, shut up.

 

(Fade Out)

[Zack Malibu 0]

The cameras cut to a locker room in the back. Hoff is already in his wrestling gear, sitting at a television, watching intently, a half smile on his face.

 

TV voices

JR

"...Calvin Szechstein emerged victorious yet again!"

 

CABOOSE

"He’s like the Carolina Panthers – not the most talented, but he always finds a way to win!"

 

HOFF

"How the hell does he keep holding onto that thing?"

 

As Hoff shakes his head, the door swings open. Superstar apperas in the doorway (to a loud chorus of boos from the fans), clad in street clothes and a pair of black sunglasses. A wide grin is on his face.

 

SUPERSTAR

"Hey!!"

 

Superstar gives a double thumbs-up, ala the Fonz. Hoff chuckles as Superstar saunters into the locker room, setting his bag on a nearby chair.

 

SUPERSTAR

"So are we ready for tonight or what?"

 

Hoff's smirk fades, replaced by a slightly worried expression.

 

HOFF

"Yeah...big night..."

 

Superstar cocks his head at this.

 

SUPERSTAR

"You all right over there?"

 

HOFF

"Yeah, I'm pumped, really...it's just..."

 

Concern shows on Superstar's face.

 

SUPERSTAR

"Just what? You hear someone planning against us or something?"

 

HOFF

"Nah, man, nothing like that...it's just...CWM...he's here, right?"

 

Superstar takes a step back. Concern gives way to shock, then irritation on his face as he pulls off his shades.

 

SUPERSTAR

"Wait..."

 

Superstar shakes his head.

 

"Wait wait wait. You're worried about CWM?"

 

Hoff nods slightly.

 

HOFF

"It's just...all this shit he's been saying...how he's gonna cripple me...telling me to make a will..."

 

SUPERSTAR

"Hoff, buddy, relax, huh? Remember, we put him in a wheelchair? Crippled him for life? He can NEVER WALK AGAIN?! Remember that?"

 

Hoff shrugs and nods.

 

SUPERSTAR

"Listen, you need to get your head in the game."

 

Hoff's raises his head at this, looking slightly annoyed.

 

SUPERSTAR

"Don't give me any of that shit. Remember, you're the rookie. You don't know how it is out there. I pulled out every move in my arsenal to beat Zack last night. If you want to beat him, you need to get that sad-ass cripple out of your big, thick skull and focus on your match."

 

Hoff nods at this and clenches his fists.

 

HOFF

"Yeah...YEAH!"

 

Hoff shakes out his neck and heads out of the locker room. He's in the doorway when Superstar speaks.

 

SUPERSTAR

"Oh, and Hoff?"

 

Hoff turns around and looks back at Superstar. Superstar's eyes narrow and his grim gaze fixes on Hoff.

 

"You had better not lose tonight."

 

Hoff stares Superstar down for a moment, then turns and heads out of the locker room.

 

 

MC: Coming up is a match that's been brewing for the past couple of months, but had to be put on the back-burner after Sly Sommers decided to stick his nose in the business of Scotty Static. Back in the month of December, two high-flying rookie teams debuted in HeldDOWN~!, those being the Global Party Exchange of Scotty Static and Johnny "Jam" Jackson, and St. Andrew's Minions, composed of brothers Michael and Nathaniel. Both teams seemed to be on a crash-course to explode at Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten in December, but the debut of the goliath we now know to be St. Andrew's wrecking ball of doom, Gibraltar, ruined all of that, and put Johnny Jackson on the shelf for three weeks after sending him through two stacked, burning tables.

 

COACH: The feud was set aside as Scotty Static engaged in his blood feud with Sly Sommers, which ended in that spectacular, first-ever Total Decapitation match this past Sunday night at Anglepalooza. Tonight, the feud gets its re-birth, as it will be Nathaniel of the Minions battling Johnny "Jam" Jackson.

 

CABOOSE: Let's see how lost Jackson is without his BUTT buddy, Scotty Static!

 

MC: That's right, I forgot to mention that only St. Andrew will be allowed at ringside, as he did obtain a manager's license on Wednesday morning. But, Gibraltar, Michael, and Scotty Static are all banned from ringside for this contest.

 

COACH: And you have to be wondering what might be going through St. Andrew's mind. Do you wonder if he's looking past Nathaniel's match this week, and thinking about strategy for next week's gigantic World Tag Team Title match, as Gibraltar teams with "The Current Big Thing" Brock Auustin to face Tyler Bridges and TJ Burns, TNT.

 

(Cut to a shot of the entrance, as the lights dim, and "Pompeii" starts up.)

 

BUFFER: Introducing first, from St. Andrew's Cathedral, accompanied by St. Andrew, weighing in at 195 pounds, he is one half of The Minions...Nathaniel!

 

COACH: Caboose, let's see how Nathaniel does in HIS first singles match without his older brother, Michael!

 

("Make Her Say" starts up, and out comes Johnny Jackson, without his partner Scotty Static.)

 

BUFFER: And his opponent, from Orlando, Florida, weighing in at 215 pounds, Johnny "Jam" Jackson!

 

(Bell rings)

 

Nathaniel jumps Johnny right after the bell rings, from behind, with a bevy of forearms to the back of the head. Nathaniel then whips Jackson to the opposite corner. Nathaniel charges at Jackson, but Johnny gives him a boot to the jaw. Jackson turns around, jumps to the second rope, and goes for a twisting tornado DDT. However, Nathaniel blocks, twists out of the facelock while holding onto the arm, puts his leg forward, and brings Jackson down hard with a Russian leg sweep. Nathaniel keeps ahold of Jackson, and rolls himself and his opponent backwards, onto their feet. Nathaniel then connects with a front-face Russian leg sweep, but dropping Nathaniel stomach-first onto his knee. Nathaniel gets onto his feet, and tries hooking Jackson for a suplex. Nathaniel lifts him, but Jackson lands on his feet behind Nathaniel. Jackson grabs a waistlock, and charges forward for a state roll, but Nathaniel holds onto the top rope. Jackson rolls backward, onto his feet, and charges at Nathaniel. Nathaniel backdrops Jackson over the top rope, but Johnny lands on his feet on the apron. Jackson scores with a shoulder charge to the mid-section, and goes for a sunset flip. However, Nathaniel grabs ahold of the middle rope to stay on his feet. But, the referee kicks his hands to send him flying back........1............2........Nathaniel rolls out.

 

CABOOSE: That's biased refereeing!

 

MC: People call your work "biased announcing", so what?

 

CABOOSE: It's not biased...I just favor guys who cheat over guys who don't, and verbally mock the non-cheaters.

 

Both men come back to their feet, and Jackson drops Nathaniel throat-first onto the middle rope. Jackson runs to the other side, bounces off of the ropes, and tries to dropkick Nathaniel in the back of the neck. However, Nathaniel moves, and Jackson flies through the ropes, landing back-first on the concrete, hard. Nathaniel goes to the apron, and nails a running swanton onto a prone Johnny Jackson. Nathaniel then throws Jackson back into the ring, but instead of going for the pin, he slides in and pulls Jackson up. Nathaniel slaps Johnny in the face, and whips him off to the ropes. Nathaniel goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam, but Jackson reverses with with a satellite around-the-world flying headscissors that sends Nathaniel to the outside. Jackson then bounces off of the ropes on the other side, and nails a tremendous tope con hilo dive onto Nathaniel.

 

MC: The agility that it took to do that move was astounding!

 

CABOOSE: Like I've said before, these guys are using illegal anti-gravity boots to do this stuff!

 

Jackson throws his fists in the air to pump up the crowd, and then tosses Nathaniel back into the ring. Jackson waits on the apron until Nathaniel stumbles to his feet. Johnny then slingshots himself over the top rope, and attempts a tornado DDT. But, Nathaniel thwarts the second tornado DDT of the night, into an Angry Man Slam (front spinebuster). Nathaniel goes for the cover..........1...........2........kickout. Nathaniel then drags Jackson mid-ring, and locks in a side bow-and-arrow lock, working over Jackson's back. Jackson keeps tilting himself back-and-forth, trying to tilt himself onto his stomach, and can scoot himself over to the ropes. About ten seconds later, Jackson gets onto his stomach, and is able to scoot himself into the ropes. Nathaniel pulls Jackson up, and kicks him Kawada-style, hard in the mouth.

 

COACH: I guess Nathaniel is getting down to business now.

 

Nathaniel then shoves Johnny into a corner, and connects with three front roundhouse kicks to the mid-section. He follows up by whipping Jackson to the opposite corner. Jackson tries kipping over Nathaniel, but he comes down a little too fast, giving Nathaniel the opportunity to put him in a waistlock, and nail a brutal-looking German suplex, dropping Jackson on the top of his head!

 

MC: I think Johnny Jackson might have re-injured himself yet AGAIN!

 

Nathaniel immediately cradles Jackson up..........1............2..............kickout! Nathaniel cannot believe his eyes! Nathaniel pulls Jackson up, and whips him off to the ropes. Nathaniel then connects with a spinning wheel kick. Nathaniel follows up by dragging Johnny closer to the ropes, launching himself, and nailing an Arabian Press. Nathaniel goes for the cover.................1...............2..............Jackson gets his foot on the bottom rope. Nathaniel pulls Jackson to his feet, and leans him up against the turnbuckles in the corner. Nathaniel connects with three stiff chops, and then wastes time by crossing himself before going for a fourth chop. The "Hail Mary" cost him, though, as Jackson was able to move and Nathaniel ends up chopping the top turnbuckle. Jackson goes behind Nathaniel, and brings him down with a schoolboy............1.............2............kickout.

 

COACH: Every little mistake in a promotion as full as talent as ours could lead to a loss every time.

 

MC: So very true.

 

Both men get back up, and Nathaniel charges at Jackson. Jackson side-steps Nathaniel, and sends him stomach-first into the turnbuckle. Jackson then hooks Nathaniel from behind, and nails a uranage from a side suplex position. Jackson then turns Nathaniel's positioning around a little, and heads up top. Just at that moment, St. Andrew pops onto the apron to distract the referee. Then, Nathaniel's older brother, Minion Michael, crawls from under the ring, climbs onto the apron, and pulls on Jackson's pant leg, crotching him on the top turnbuckle. Nathaniel gets up to his feet, and picks Jackson up off of the top turnbuckle, in an Electric Chair position. Michael then scales to the top rope, and....Doomsday STO! Nathaniel covers Johnny as Andrew and Michael both go down to the floor outside the ring.............1.............2..............3!

 

MC: Come on! Give me a break!

 

CABOOSE: Hey, as the old saying goes: "It ain't cheating if you don't get caught." Guess what? They didn't get caught, so it wasn't cheating!

 

(Just then, HeldDOWN~! GM Northstar shows up standing, by the entrance opening.)

 

NORTHSTAR: Hey, nice job out there Nathaniel. You got your first singles victory, on your own...or did you? See, I'm going to tell you all a little story. Earlier this week, I got a fax from St. Andrew's Cathedral. Turns out Father Farce here was upset that we haven't taken time to make his two alter boys stars. So, in an effort to be a nice guy and help out, I gave Nathaniel a singles match on MY programming time, in a highly-rated quarter, against another guy who had never had a singles match on my programming either, that being Johnny Jackson. I knew the quarter was probably going to bomb, because people don't dig watching two relative newcomers, who hadn't earned their reps, on their television screens wrestling. But, I thought that they'd provide a good enough athletic contest to keep a good amount of the viewers drawn into not clicking away. I'll admit, they worked their asses off for an entertaining contest. Then, the Communion pulls this whole outside interference crap. People don't like outside interference; it makes everything these two guys did, which was a heck of a lot, seem like a farce. Basically, you ruined MY efforts to make you a star, which YOU originally asked for. I don't feel like being so nice to you now. But, we do need new stars. I'll tell you what: if you want to be stars, make YOURSELVES! I'll tell you this much already: Michael, Nathaniel; you're both booked in tag matches on every episode of HeldDOWN~! leading up to Anglemania III. But, it won't be against seven different teams. Starting next week, you two will be a part of an experiment I'm going to try. It's called the Seven Sins Series. You two will be a part of a best-of-seven invitational. Every week, we give you guys a match premise, and you go with it. First team to four wins gets a future title shot against the World Tag Team Champions, whenever you want; however you want. But, your opponents are the same guys who you've been ducking since day one when you got here. You've hidden in six-man tags. You've had your monster Gibraltar injure them. But they're finally going to get their hands around your grimy little throats and kill you....times seven. That's right...starting next week, and for at least the next month, going up to maybe two months, it will be the Minions of Mayhem in the Seven Sins Series...against the GLOBAL PARTY EXCHANGE! (quant crowd roar)

 

MC: Did you hear that?!?!?

 

COACH: Looks like we're going to get the two most innovative, young, high-flying teams in at least four different matches, up to maybe SEVEN, each week on this program!

 

CABOOSE: Look at this! The Communion are freaking out outside the ring! And with good reason!

 

COACH: I bet they're going back to their Cathedral to pray and reserve their spots in the afterlife, because I know the GPX have been waiting for a long time to get this type of opportunity to destroy the Minions!

 

MC: We've got to get this situation settled down. More HeldDOWN~! in a few!

[Zack Malibu 0]

"Black" by Sevendust plays as Hoff heads out to a chorus of mainly boos. A few cheers can be heard in the crowd; however, they're quickly drowned out.

 

COLE

"What the, why is Hoff coming out here? This isn't on the program..."

 

CABOOSE

"Christ, Michael, does everything have to be on the program with you? Don't get your undies in a twist."

 

COLE

"I'm just wondering what business he has out here. His match with Zack Malibu isn't scheduled until later this evening."

 

COACH

"Maybe he's here to give us presents!"

 

Caboose and MC each raise an eyebrow.

 

COACH

"'Cause...you know...he was Hoffy Claus..."

 

COLE

"Well, we all know things have been bad for the Underground crew, and maybe he's out here to vent some frustrations."

 

CABOOSE

"Come on Michael, no need to cause trouble."

 

Hoff walks to the ring and climbs up the steps, casting a dark smirk across the HeldDOWN! crowd. He steps in between the ropes and raises his right arm, and is met with more boos, but again a smattering of faint cheers.

 

CABOOSE

"What I don't get is why these fans are cheering this guy. I mean, listen, you can hear a few little girls screaming in the upper deck..."

 

COLE

"Well he did get a very mixed reaction at Anglepalooza, but I can't see why either. Maybe they want to see him stand up to Superstar?"

 

CABOOSE

"Bah. Superstar is right -- he's the greatest thing to ever happen to this guy."

 

Hoff asks the timekeeper for a microphone. He stands in the middle of the ring, soaking in the fans' reaction for a moment, smiling.

 

HOFF

"First of all, don't even pretend that some of you weren't cheering me on Sunday."

 

The few cheers grow a little louder at this.

 

CABOOSE

"Listen to these sheep."

 

HOFF

"Well, rest assured, I couldn't care less what you idiots think of me." The smile fades from Hoff's face as the fans are all now booing.

 

CABOOSE

"HA!"

 

COACH

"That doesn't sound much like Hoffy Claus to me..."

 

COLE

"Would you stop it with the Hoffy Claus?"

 

HOFF

"See I came out here tonight to clear my head. I've got a big, big match tonight, against a man who, for better or worse, is one of the best in this business."

 

The fans cheer and start a chant of "ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!"

 

HOFF

"Yeah, that's the guy, all right. But you see, Supes was right, I just can't focus...so I want to address the guy that's the reason I can't focus."

 

"I want to address...CWM."

 

The fans go wild at the mention of CWM.

 

COLE

"Listen to this crowd!"

 

HOFF

"CWM...David...man, I know you're back there...and I'd like it if you could come out for a moment."

 

Hoff pauses and looks to the aisleway.

 

"Come on...get on out here...wheel your crippled ass out to the stage, dammit!"

 

The fans boo as Hoff's tone grows angrier. Anger is plain on his face now.

 

COLE

"What does he want with CWM? Hasn't he done enough to the man?"

 

COACH

"I dunno MC, but he looks mad...and a little afraid!"

 

CABOOSE

"You'd know about fear...and being little."

 

COACH

"What are you saying about Little Coach?"

 

Hoff taps his foot impatiently.

 

HOFF

"Come on...come on--"

 

Hoff stops in midsentence as CWM rolls his wheelchair out onto the top of the entranceway, a mic in hand. The fans go absolutely nuts, starting a huge "C-W-M" chant. CWM, though, fixes his gaze on Hoff, a slightly sad look on his face. Hoff swallows hard, and attempts to regain his composure.

 

HOFF

"Now look..."

 

CWM's gaze remains fixed, his eyes burning into Hoff's. Hoff pauses and paces a little as the fans continue to cheer out of their skulls.

 

HOFF

"Listen to me, man...what I did, it was just business. You know that." The fans boo. CWM's gaze remains fixed, expression unchanged.

 

HOFF

"You know I love you man, and I know what you did to get me in this company. I appreciate everything you did for me."

 

Hoff pauses, apparently struggling over the words.

 

"And I just wish you could understand...this is what I had to do...and forgive me."

 

The fans boo loudly at this. A small "you suck" chant breaks out. CWM's expression remains unwavering.

 

HOFF

"Come ON! You know damn well that if our places were reversed, you'd have done the exact same thing."

 

CWM's gaze remains fixed straight forward. He says nothing. Hoff begins pacing more and more.

 

HOFF

"Dammit, LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

 

CWM doesn't move.

 

"I'm sorry, okay? I fucked up, there. I stabbed you in the back and I thought it was the right thing to do. I fucked up."

 

The crowd chants "you fucked up, you fucked up." Hoff smiles nervously at this.

 

HOFF

"See? They know it. I'm admitting right here, I screwed up, now can we PLEASE just put this behind us?"

 

The crowd starts to cheer at this.

 

COLE

"I think the fans are behind this idea!"

 

COACH

"Well why not? Can't we all just get along?"

 

CABOOSE

"You disgust me."

 

Hoff fidgets anxiously in the ring, awaiting a response. CWM simply remains unmoving, silent. The fans' cheers grow louder and louder--

 

HOFF

"GOD DAMMIT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"

 

The cheers die abruptly.

 

"You stupid son of a bitch! I can't believe you would fucking tell me to MAKE a WILL. You are one sick son of a bitch, do you know that?"

 

The fans begin booing in full force.

 

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but you better back off. I am sick of looking over my shoulder every time I pass a doorway...checking my backseat every time I get in my fucking car...you are ruining my fucking life!!"

 

The fans grow vicious...however, CWM remains silent, his gaze still fixed.

 

HOFF

"Well guess what, buddy, I am through running from you. I'm telling you right now that you better back off. Don't threaten me, don't even so much as LOOK at me anymore. And if you even think about coming out during my match tonight I am gonna break every bone in your body...again."

 

The fans' boos are overwhelming at this point. CWM stares at Hoff, still unmoving, unspeaking. Hoff's eyes are frantic, but fixed on CWM. CWM stares down the ramp, eyes afire.

 

COLE

"This is unreal..."

 

CABOOSE

"Cole, this is totally surreal..."

 

COACH

"Is he gonna say anything?"

 

CWM keeps his eyes locked with Hoff's...then, abruptly, he turns his wheelchair around and wheels to the back. Hoff's eyes are shaky; he himself is shaking slightly, and sweat is visibly pouring down his face.

 

COLE

"CWM never even said a word..."

 

CABOOSE

"He didn't have to."

 

Hoff looks around the arena, but his eyes meet only angry fans. Slowly, hesitantly, Hoff exits the ring and heads to the back.

 

COLE

"Well folks, it looks like CWM has definitely gotten under Hoff's skin."

 

CABOOSE

"Can you blame him? Did you SEE CWM, Michael? The man was intense."

 

COACH

"Guys, I'm still shaking after that staredown."

 

CABOOSE

"Coach, you get scared of your own shadow."

 

COACH

"I do not-- AAHH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

 

COLE

"........"

 

CABOOSE

"Damn, Coach. You're one messed up man."

 

COACH

"Uh...well..."

 

COLE

"Fans, the match between Hoff and Zack Malibu is still set for this evening. But will CWM still be in Zack's corner?"

 

CABOOSE

"Hopefully he won't scare Coach over here."

 

COACH

"...What, me scared? Psssh...no way. So, uh...can we take a break so I can change my pants now, or what?"

[Zack Malibu 0]

A woman’s leg is shown, and the camera pans back to reveal that the leg belongs to Crystal, who is stretching. The crowd pops HUGE for the Female Phenom.

 

COACH

Oh thank goodness she is here tonight, I was afraid she was seriously injured at Anglepalooza at the hands of Damaramu.

 

COLE

You just wanted to see her ass.

 

COACH

She is more than a sexual object to me!

 

Crystal looks up and smiles at someone and the camera pans back even more so we can see that AJ Flaire is standing there with his X Title over his shoulder and a smile on his face.

 

AJ

Hey girl! Long time no see!

 

Crystal stops stretching and develops a half-smile. Crystal shakes AJ’s hand.

 

CRYSTAL

Hello Aaron. I see you’ve still got that X Belt.

 

AJ

Yeah, I made that Mad Bastard Quit last Sunday. How did you pull up?

 

CRYSTAL

No harm done, apart from this cut on my forehead, but, that’ll heal.

 

AJ

You seem in remarkably good for a girl whose neck must be damn sore tonight after that war last Sunday.

 

CRYSTAL

And you seem remarkably good for a guy whose back wasn’t far from breaking last Sunday.

 

AJ

Well, I’ve got the night off, so I’m happy. Probably because of that Jenna Elfman interview. I don’t rate her.

 

CRYSTAL

Well, I’ve got the night off too. As a matter of fact, I was just about to go out to the ring to make an announcement, and it concerns you AJ.

 

AJ

Well then, I’m looking forward to it. Remember girl, if you need me, you know where to find me. Now that we are both top stars, we should look into both getting first class plane tickets, I’m sure Northstar would want his top stars treated the right way.

 

CRYSTAL

Aaron, I’ve known our GM long enough to know he doesn’t care. This isn’t Detroit anymore AJ. Anyway, I’ll see you later.

 

AJ

Have fun girl, good to see you.

 

The camera cuts away from the two Firm members and back to the announce booth.

 

COACH

What was all that about? Do those two have history?

 

CABOOSE

I think he just wants to get into her pants Coach.

 

COACH

Over my dead body…

 

COLE

Oh shut up you horny little teenager, AJ would kick your ass.

 

COACH (whining)

No he wouldn’t!

 

COLE

In any event, Crystal is on her way out! The Female Phenom, Next on HeldDown!

 

(commercial break)

*******************************

Ever wanna be a part of HeldDOWN~! action?

 

Ever wanna get your hands on Northstar, or roll around on the mat with Crystal?

 

WELL NOW YOU CAN, as OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, Capcom and Sony are proud to present...

 

 

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, now on Playstation 2!

 

Featuring the awesome CAREER MODE~!, including recent OAOAST hD~! storylines played out as you go along!

 

An up to date roster, featuring stars such as Panther, Damaramu, Gibraltar, and the Global Party Exchange!

 

Highly Detailed Create A Wrestler Mode!

 

Cage Matches, Elimination Chamber matches...even Title Wave Matches, where you could walk away with an OAOAST Championship!

 

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! for PS2, now available whereever video games are sold!

 

*******************************

(Returning from commercial, exactly where we left off...)

 

 

CUE: ‘I’m just a Girl’ by No Doubt

 

The crowd goes completely NUT as the Female Phenom, Crystal, makes her way down to the ring, a large bandage on her head where she was busted open at Anglepalooza.

 

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, The Female Phenom of the OAOAST, CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSTALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

 

COLE

Just ninety six hours removed from Anglepalooza, where Crystal lost in terrible fashion to the monster Damaramu.

 

COACH

I’m just glad Dama got what he deserved in the Rumble match guys.

 

Crystal walks up the ring steps and goes through the ropes slowly, her neck still visibly hurting from Sunday’s bloodbath.

 

COACH

That big nasty man Damaramu hurt my Crystal, and I could never forgive him for that!

 

CABOOSE

Oh Christ would you get a grip… ok, maybe not. That would be disgusting.

 

Crystal grabs a microphone from ringside as the fans continue the pop going, showing their appreciation for the Female Phenom.

 

CRYSTAL

Thank you all, it makes everything seem worth it. You know, last Sunday night at Anglepalooza, I realised something. I have so much further than anyone thought I would in this company. I was the very first female 24/7 champion. I was the first woman to main event an OAOAST Pay Per View. I was in the Elimination Chamber match last November. I have overcome all height barriers, all weight barriers, and, most importantly, all gender barriers.

 

Crystal pauses for a second and the crowd pop again, this time starting up a ‘CRY-STAL’ chant.

 

COLE

Crystal is right; she’s done so much more than anyone ever thought she could.

 

Crystal waits for the chant to die down, and starts to speak again.

 

CRYSTAL

So, this is not a retirement speech, this is a heads up to all of those superstars in the OAOAST locker room that Crystal, the Female Phenom, is going to go further in this business. And the best part is that I’ve done everything on my own. I’ve never needed any help when I’ve been up against some of the best workers in this company. I’ve never asked for any help either. Which is why, at Zero Hour, I am…

 

The arena goes black and one red spotlight is seen at the entrance.

 

COLE

What the hell?

 

CUE: ‘The Game’ by Disturbed

 

Tell me exactly what am I supposed to do?

Now that I have allowed you TO BEAT ME

Do you think that we could play another game?

Maybe I could win this time!

 

I kinda like the misery you put me through

Darling you can trust me COMPLETELY

If you even try to look the other way

I think that I could KILL this time…

 

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOBOOBOOMMM~!

 

The lights go down and a red spotlight appears at the entrance way. The Dark One, Axel, appears at the top of the ramp, stopping and doing the crucifix pose before walking down towards the ring. Crystal looks somewhat surprised at the arrival of The Dark One.

 

COACH

What’s he doing out here? He has no business here!!!

 

COLE

I don’t know, but whatever it is, I think it’s to do with Crystal!

 

CABOOSE

Well guys, these two clashed last night at the Royal Rumble, but you have to remember, Crystal was the one that brought Axel into the OAOAST.

 

COLE

Not one of her best decisions.

 

Axel hops up onto the apron and steps into the ring. He walks up to Crystal and they look holes in each other. Axel steps to the side of Crystal and grabs a microphone from ringside.

 

AXEL

Welcome to my world.

 

Coach These two clashed at the Rumble last night, and neither could get the better of the exchange!

 

AXEL

Crystal, the female phenom. We meet once again. Although I’m sure our history will be dug up in the next couple of weeks, I’m not here to talk about before the OAOAST. I’m here to talk about the words that just came out of your mouth.

 

COACH

Michael, you get on that straight away.

 

COLE

I’ll have their history in two weeks, max.

 

AXEL

Plato once said that “False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.” Now, for that reason I should be very proud of you, but I am not Crystal. You just lied to every single one of these fans. You lied to all of the wrestlers in the back, and most importantly, you lied to yourself.

 

Crystal has a puzzled look on her face, and asks Axel what the hell he’s talking about.

 

AXEL

Just under six months ago Crystal, I got a call from an old friend. She needed help to slay a monster, and she needed an ally in the OAOAST. I said ‘Why not’, and helped her. You remember that Crystal? Do you remember calling me when I was living in Detroit, almost crying from the beating that you had received the week before? Do you remember how I came straight to your aid? How I ran in and saved you from being seriously injured? How I slayed the monster that you couldn’t slay?

 

CABOOSE

Axel’s right guys, he helped Crystal when she needed it most.

 

AXEL

But then you hurt me Crystal, you hurt me badly. We’ve known each other for what, eight years? Ten years? Most of our damn careers. I helped you, I threw the big bad wolf in the fire, but did I get thanks? Did you come to me and thank me? Did you help me when I got my ass beat down by guys like Ragdoll, or Totally Endorsed? No Crystal, you didn’t. I was the one that had to do it on my own. I tried to get help at times, in Totally Endorsed, but they did nothing for me. I had to do it on my own.

 

Axel looks at Crystal as if she was the worst person on the earth, as Crystal begins to speak.

 

CRYSTAL

Ada… Axel, what do you want from me? Do you want me to thank you now? Do you want me to tell you that I will help you when you need it? Why are you out here?

 

AXEL

I’m out here to ask you to make things right. I’m out here to ask you to write the wrongs of your past, to be where you are destined to be. Come back to me. Come back to where you belong, by my side. Crystal, you know how dominant we once were. You know we could beat any single OAOAST superstar, of Faction for that matter, if we wanted. You know that as well as I do. Come back to me. Come back to the Bleeding Souls.

 

CABOOSE

Wait a minute; Crystal was in the Bleeding Souls?

 

COACH

WHAT?

 

CRYSTAL

Axel, when we were in a team, you corrupted my mind, you made me attack other people, win matches the wrong way. We were successful, yes, but we took the wrong route to be successful. So no, Axel, I won’t go back to you. I’ve grown out of that stage of my life. I’ve grown out of constantly going to you if things ever got tough. I didn’t ask you for help when I fought Damaramu, and I didn’t ask you for help when I went for the OAOAST Championship.

 

AXEL

Well Crystal, notice that you lost both of those encounters. You haven’t had much luck here in the last couple of months, have you princess? Losing to Calvin, losing to Damaramu, hell, you were eliminated before I was in the Rumble last night. But if you had of gone to me and asked for my help, then perhaps you would have the OAOAST Championship right now, ever think of that?

 

CRYSTAL

Axel, I’m improving all the time. I WILL win the OAOAST Championship, and it WON’T be with anyone’s help. Not yours, not anyone’s. I don’t need you anymore.

 

AXEL

Well then, if that’s the way you want it, then you brought this on yourself Crystal, you get the hard way. You brought this on yourself.

 

Axel drops the microphone and steps up face to face with Crystal. Axel has a frown on his face as he backs away and leaves the ring, as ‘The Game’ starts up again.

 

COLE

What the hell was all that about? We don’t even get to hear Crystal’s announcement, Axel comes out here and reveals that Crystal was a part of the Bleeding Souls with god knows who else, and then he asks Crystal to come back to him!

 

COACH

I don’t know who she is anymore.

 

CABOOSE

You never knew who she was you idiot! All I know is that Crystal made the wrong decision tonight, she should have sided with Axel again, because in this business, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

 

COLE

What else can happen tonight, on the fallout from Anglepalooza?

[Zack Malibu 0]

 

 

Coach: Oh baby, I feel like Dick Vitale because I'm about to call a match with some PTPers, baby! Whooo ha! Fellows, this match is going to be hotter than fresh tar.

 

Caboose: Did you just call me "fellow"?

 

Coach: Sorry. Can I call you Boo-Boo?

 

Caboose: Only if you want a knife in the stomach

 

Cole: Fans the match that these two Neanderthals are getting so worked up over is between Zack Malibu and Hoff. The reason this match is so gosh darn special is because CWM plans on being in Zack's corner.

 

Coach(in Dick Vitale voice): YEAH BABY~!

 

Caboose: What good is a crippled has been? CWM's going to be liability to Zack, but Zack's to damn sentimental to tell him to get lost. If I was Zack, I would've wheeled CWM out of the arena and pushed him into oncoming traffic.

 

Cole: CWM doesn't care if he's a liability. Hoff is the man, who nearly robbed CWM of his lively hood. It's Hoff's fault that CWM in a rehabilitated state. CWM has every right to want to watch Hoff get what he deserves. And fortunately for him, he's got the best seat in the house.

 

"Black" by Sevendust blares over the sound system! The lights are dimmed as a strobe light wildly travels across the arena, nearly blinding the fans who wish to boo Hoff. The man himself steps out from the back. His eyes narrow as he stares at the ring where he'll battle Zack Malibu here tonight.

 

Buffer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, now making his way to the ring from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at a fearsome 275 pounds.....HOOOOOOFFFF!

 

Cole: How does he look himself in the mirror every morning?

 

Coach: I know! He walks into the bathroom, opens his eyes and POOF there he is.

 

Hoff jumps into the ring. He glares back at the entrance way awaiting the arrival of his opponent, the same man who defeated him in his debut matchup with the company.

 

Instead of Zack, though "Smells like Teen Spirit" hits and the fans get off their overweight asses and JAM! A loud CWM chant breaks out nearly drowning out the sounds of Nirvana's classic song! As the chant gets softer, CWM rolls out from the back in a wheelchair. At the sight of their hero, the fans resume chanting his name.

 

Cole: You can't tell me that doesn't warm your heart, Caboose. Fans, this is a man who is here because he loves the business, because what he loved was stripped from him.

 

As wheels his way down to ringside, Hoff leans over the ropes and taunts him. Hoff mockingly holds the ropes open for him, an invite to step into the ring. CWM flips Hoff off, and the crowd goes wild.

 

"Bring Me to Life" hits, and Zack comes charging out from the back, rushing down the aisle! He slides into the ring, ready for action, but immediately gets pounced on by Hoff!

 

Coach: Dynamite, baby! Dynamite! We've got action in the ring already!

 

Caboose: Coach, you're not getting paid by the word. Please shut up.

 

Hoff stomps on Zack, and picks him up, delivering some clubbing blows down across his back. Zack staggers to his feet, but is beaten down and then pulled back up by Hoff, who backs him to the ropes and then sends him into the far side. Hoff ducks, elevating Zack as he comes at him with a back bodydrop, but Malibu lands on his feet, running the ropes and catching Hoff as he turns around with a flying forearm shot, flooring the big guy! Zack bounces off the ropes as Hoff recovers, and delivers a dropkick, but Hoff swats it away, sending Zack crashing to the mat. As Zack gets up, Hoff delivers a boot to the midsection, then pulls Zack in, lifting him up for a powerbomb...but Malibu counters with a rana~! Hoff lands over near the ropes, and uses them to pull himself up, but winds up going over them and to the floor, courtesy of a Malibu dropkick!

 

Caboose: Not bad, not bad. Zack, was to emotionally charged for this match. He didn't use his brains at first, but now he's got the edge. For now.

 

Hoff slams the apron in disgust, while the fans and CWM look on approvingly. All of a sudden, the fans start booing mercilessly, as The Superstar has run down to ringside and over to Hoff, comforting him and trying not to let him lose his cool. Malibu backs away from the ropes, as Superstar yells at both he and the ref, claiming favortism. Hoff steps back up on the apron, and then back into the ring.

 

The two men lock up, with Hoff at an obvious strength advantage. He shoves Zack down to the mat, then looks down at him, a gleeful yet sinister smile stretching across his face. Zack gets right back up, and the two lock up again, with the same result. Zack gets shoved back to the mat. Tired of playing around, Zack gets up and goes in for a lockup again, but quickly switches to a waistlock before Hoff can toss him down. Hoff struggles, but then fires back an elbow to break the hold, then spins around and shoves Zack backwards into the ropes, and catches him, dropping him quickly with a uranage as Zack bounces towards him! Superstar claps his hands in approval, as Hoff goes for the first pin of the matchup!

 

1...2...2 COUNT! Zack gets a shoulder up!

 

 

Cole: You can't keep Zack down! No one can!

 

Caboose: Is that your goody two shoes good guy act, Cole?

 

Cole: Get this man out of here.

 

Hoff pulls Zack up, holding him in a front facelock and delivering a knee to the ribs. Hoff holds onto Zack, and hits another knee, driving it into Zack's ribcage. He releases him from the facelock, but shoves Zack in the corner, then starts driving his shoulder into Zack's ribs repeatedly!

 

Cole: I think I know what's going on here. Zack targetted Superstar's ribs on Sunday, and now Superstar is having Hoff return the favor for him!

 

Caboose: Brilliant, Inspector Gadget. CBS should base their newest crime drama on you.

 

Zack hangs in the corner, slouched a bit, as Hoff backs up and then charges in, driving the air out of Zack as he rams his shoulder into his stomach. Hoff backs up again, but this time just as he's about to hit, Zack sidesteps him, and Hoff's shoulder is driven into the turnbuckle post! He pulls himself away, stunned by the impact...and walks right into a single arm DDT from Zack, who targets the bad arm! Zack rolls him over, but Hoff, though he's hurt, still easily kicks out at two!

 

Caboose: Haha, and the fool thinks he had him beat this quickly. Poor Zack, always underestimating his opponents.

 

Zack pulls Hoff up, and sends him into the corner, where the impact sends shivers up Hoff's spine. Malibu runs in and goes for the ten punch in the corner, but Hoff holds onto Zack's legs, and walks out of the corner carrying him! Hoff slams Zack to the mat, and holds onto his legs, then catapults him over the top rope...NO! ZACK HOLDS ON~! He starts to skin the cat, but Superstar runs over and pulls Zack to the floor by his legs, then sneaks in a clothesline that drops Zack to the floor!

 

Coach: Infaction, baby! C'mon referee!

 

Superstar backs away from Zack, as the referee turns to see what happened, and Supes denies any wrongdoing. CWM starts shouting at the ref from ringside, telling him to keep his eye on the action, and with the ref preoccupied, Supes quickly rolls Zack back into the ring, where Hoff waits on him. Hoff picks Zack up, then drops him throat first on the top rope! Zack staggers back, and gets picked up by Hoff, and then drilled into the canvas courtesy of a Hoff sideslam! Hoff leans back and hooks Zack's leg...but the former World Champion kicks out at the count of two!

 

Superstar yells "Don't fight it, Zack!" from ringside, while CWM and the fans get a "Zack" chant going to overpower Superstar's comments. The claps and chats help to motivate Zack, as Hoff now has him locked in a rear chinlock. The chants get stronger and stronger, as Zack rallies up to his feet, with Hoff switching into a headlock to keep Zack at bay, however Zack fires an elbow into his ribs, then another, and another, and the fourth one causes Hoff to break the hold! Zack runs to the ropes, but the dazed Hoff has enough presence of mind to catch him as he comes off, and DRILLS him with a wicked spinebuster~! Hoff crawls onto Zack, and the referee dives in to make the count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!!

 

THR...NO! NO! SHOULDER UP!

 

Caboose: These long three counts are making me somewhat agitated.

 

Cole: I think you're one of three people who are agitated with Zack's resilience right now.

 

Hoff pulls Zack up, and Superstar calls for him to plant Zack again. Hoff sends Zack to the ropes, and catches him coming off with another...NO! Zack drops his elbow on Hoff's bad shoulder, causing the big man to lose his grip! Zack quickly reaches up, hooking Hoff and then dropping him across his knee with his patented Rock Bottom Backbreaker~!

 

Coach: Now's the time to capitalize, just like in English class baby!

 

Caboose: Seriously, you scare me.

 

Zack heads for higher ground, climbing up to the top rope while Hoff is down. Zack makes it up there, but Superstar jumps up on the apron, and starts arguing with the referee. The ref orders Supes to get down, but when he jumps to the floor, he holds onto the top rope, shaking it and causing Zack to crotch himself on the top rope! SS snickers at ringside, as Hoff recovers and climbs up the ropes. He makes it up there, locking Zack in a facelock, and both men come down off the top, as Hoff superplexes Zack...BUT ZACK SHIFTS HIMSELF IN MIDAIR, LANDING ON HOFF~! COVER~!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!!

 

THRE...NO! NO! HOFF TOSSES HIM OFF!

 

Cole: What a close call! I thought for sure that was three!

 

Caboose: And I always thought Prince was gay but that doesn't make us right.

 

Zack quickly gets to his feet, waiting on Hoff to get up. When he does, Zack jumps at him with SCHOOL'S OUT~!, but Hoff catches the foot, then throws it down, charging in with a lariat...Zack ducks! Hoff turns around, and Zack turns back and hits him right in the chin with School's Out...AND HOFF FALLS TO A KNEE!

 

Caboose: He's still up!

 

Cole: It took two School's Outs for Zack to beat Hoff before!

 

Hoff is weary, teetering on one knee, and Zack rushes forward, leaping through the air and driving his knee into Hoff's head with a ZACK ATTACK~! Hoff goes down like a sack of bricks, and Zack covers quickly, while SS is on the apron and protesting. The ref ignoes him and makes the count...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!!

 

THREE!!!

 

Coach: All right! Mr. Hoff is 0-2 against Zack Malibu!

 

The crowd rejoices, as Buffer announces Zack's name as the winner. Angered, Superstar runs over to where CWM is applauding from his wheelchair, pulling it away from the ring. CWM starts cussing out Superstar, but SS DUMPS HIM OUT OF HIS WHEELCHAIR, and spits on him before sliding into the ring!

 

Cole: That's horrible! CWM can't even walk for God's sake!

 

SS slides into the ring, and blindsides Zack as he's getting to his feet. SS puts the boots to him, then picks him up and backs him into the corner where he continues to lay into him. Hoff, dazed and confused, gets up, and Superstar shouts over to him, as they've got Malibu cornered and are trying to take him out!

 

Both guys continue to pummel Zack in the corner, as CWM drags his body to the apron, reaching up and trying to use the ring for support so he can see what's going on. He sees his two rivals beating on Zack in the corner, and then suddenly...

 

HE GETS TO HIS FEET AND SLIDES INTO THE RING~!

 

Cole: WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL!?

 

Coach: IT'S A MIRACLE!

 

The fans come UNGLUED, as CWM is standing in the middle of the ring. Hoff turns around to see what the fuss is about, and turns as white as a ghost! Superstar, wondering what's distracting him, turns around, and his jaw hits the canvas as well, as CWM is standing there at 100%, sneering at them! He charges them, and both of them simultaneously head for higher ground, getting out of the ring and rushing up the aisle!

 

Caboose: So, he had us fooled all along? He lies to you and you cheer him?

 

Coach: All's fair in love and war, baby, and this is a WAR!

 

CWM walks near the ropes that face the aisle, and looks on, as Hoff and The Superstar, two men responsible for putting him on the shelf, are scared shitless right now. A bruised Zack Malibu comes out of the corner and watches them retreat as well, and then he and CWM wind up staring each other down!

 

Coach: Wait now, do you think Zack knew about this?

 

Caboose: Please, it was all a conspiracy from day one.

 

Malibu and CWM have a tense few moments, and then CWM reaches down, grabbing Zack's hand and raising it in victory! "Bring Me To Life" cues up, as CWM and Zack stand tall in the ring, posing for the fans. CWM keeps Zack's arm raised, but suddenly CWM starts to fall, his fall only broken by Zack catching him!

 

Caboose: Ha! There's one for the blooper reel!

 

Cole: Yeah, real funny. The man is obviously not at 100%, Caboose.

 

Zack holds CWM up, and calls for some of the OAOAST staff to come down to ringside. Several trainers wait on the floor, as CWM rolls out, being helped to the back by the staff and Zack.

 

Cole: Folks, you want to talk unbelievable, well, that's what we just saw! Until next week, this is Michael Cole, saying on behalf of Coach and Caboose, have a good night, everybody!

[Zack Malibu 0]

PROPS:

 

Northstar

Dama

Matt

Adam

Sly

Zack

Hoff

Panther

FrigidSoul