OAOAST IntenseZone: The Battle Of San Juan!!!

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

The following program is a special presentation of the OaOasT and the OaOasT IntenseZone brand.

::The screen turns to shades of blue, orange, and red. The Lightning Crew logo appears at the bottom of the screen with LightningCrew.Com underneath it. In scratchy white letters, read these words, narrated by a man with a high whispering raspy voice: THE FOLLOWING SHOW HAS BEEN ORGAINIZED, PAID FOR, AND PRODUCED BY THE LIGHTNING CREW.::

::The camera fades into the shot of the sun. A graphic reads "EARLIER TODAY". "100%" by Big Pun begins playing, as the camera focuses on the streets of San Juan. The crowd cheers loudly, as the camera shows the many aspects of San Juan. The camera then does a 180 on Roberto Clemente Coliseum followed by showing the fans waiting outside the coliseum, cheering loudly and raising their Puerto Rico flags. The camera then cuts to a low-rider driving towards the Coliseum. Inside are Cuban Wall, Colombian Heat, Puerto Rican Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. The crowd cheers loudly as Cuban Wall is driving the Lightning Crew Mobile. Colombian Heat is standing on top of the front side seating, yelling and bouncing along with the low rider, waving a towel, wearing a black New York Yankees baseball cap backwards, a white bandana, a white Lightning Crew tanktop, beige baggy shorts, and black sneakers. Puerto Rican Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are sitting in the backseat, smiling and enjoying the low rider's bouncing. The Lightning Crew Mobile bounces towards Roberto Clemente Coliseum.::

Vitamin X:

Earlier today, the Lightning Crew made their dramatic entrance into the stadium. PRL, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Colombian Heat, and Cuban Wall drove into Roberto Clemente Coliseum in the Lightning Crew Mobile, and were greeted with a hero's welcome by the wonderful fans.

::The Lightning Crew Mobile stops in the parking lot of Roberto Clemente Coliseum. The Lightning Crew step out and smile, greeting the fans in attendance. PRL grabs the Puerto Rican Championship and signs some autographs while the crowd cheers and chants "P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!" PRL chants right with them and poses with some fans on the camera.::

Vitamin X:

Puerto Ricans everywhere have been waiting for tonight. It is time for the special IntenseZone from Puerto Rican Lightning's home, San Juan, Puerto Rico! It is time for Lightning Crew: The Battle of San Juan!!!

::The camera cuts to a movie projector. A countdown clock plays on screen.::

10...

9....

8....

7...

6...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

::The camera cuts to Vitamin X standing behind a podium. Confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling. Vitamin X is wearing a white Lightning Crew t-shirt and a leather jacket and is standing in front of a wall that flashes the Lightning Crew logo. A cheering crowd is heard.::

Vitamin X:

Thank You!

::Cut to Puerto Rican Lightning::

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Puerto Rico is ready!

::Cut back to Vitamin X::

Vitamin X:

Thank you very much!

::The Battle of San Juan logo flashes by on the screen.::

Vitamin X:

I stand before you today.

::Cut to Colombian Heat, who is standing in front of the Lightning Crew members, who are standing on pedastools.::

Colombian Heat:

Now, you're gonna get it!

::Cut back to Vitamin X::

Vitamin X:

Humbled, by the premier event that is about to take place.

::Cut to PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member.::

PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member:

IntenseZone live from San Juan, Puerto Rico, hosted by the Lightning Crew!

::Cut back to Vitamin X::

Vitamin X:

We are in control.

::Cut to Colombian Heat.::

Colombian Heat:

We're going crazy, boyyyy!!!

::Cut to Puerto Rican Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. PRL holds up the Puerto Rican Championship for the cameras, which shoot him from different angles.::

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

HeldDown SUCKS!

Puerto Rican Lightning:

SUCKS! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

::The Lightning Crew members flash by on the screen in rapid fire sucession as the Lightning Crew announcer saids in his high raspy whisper: "THE LIGHTNING CREW!"::

::Cut back to Vitamin X at the podium.::

Vitamin X:

To those of you...

::Cut back to Puerto Rican Lightning::

PRL:

LET'S DO THIS THANG!

::A close-up of Vitamin X::

Vitamin X:

Who have risen to the challenge...

::Cut to the Lightning Crew Battle of San Juan logo. The crowd cheers as the Lightning Crew announcer saids "THE LIGHTNING CREW!"::

::Cut to Colombian Heat smiling.::

Heat:

WE ARE THE LIGHTNING CREW, G!!!

::Back to Vitamin X::

Vitamin X:

And have joined the ranks of the Lightning Crew...

::The camera shows the Lightning Crew members once again in rapid fire sucession. The Battle of San Juan logo flashes by on the screen again. The Lightning Crew announcer stutters but saids "L-L-L-L-L-THE LIGHTNING CREW!"::

::Cut to another closeup of Vitamin X::

Vitamin X:

To change the face of the wrestling world, as we know it, and make IntenseZone the best damn wrestling show on television today...

::Cut to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Puerto Rican Lightning.::

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

Like it...

::Cut to a close-up of Thomas Rodriguez laughing evilly with his sunglasses on.::

::Back to Lindsay.::

Lindsay:

Or don't like it.

::Cut to Cuban Wall who is standing in front of the Lightning Crew members, who are covered in ticker tape. They are standing in front of a greyish wall that flashes the Lightning Crew logo continously.::

Cuban Wall:

YOU CAN'T BEAT US!

::Cut to a closeup of Puerto Rican Lightning::

Puerto Rican Lightning (with an evil grin):

We don't care!

::Cut back to Vitamin X::

Vitamin X:

To those of you I say...

::Extreme close-up of X::

X:

Thank you one and all.

::Cut to Puerto Rican Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:

My show! My rules! My way!

::Cut to PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member::

PROTOTYPE (doing the "You Can't See Me" Hand Signal):

YOU CAN'T SEE ME!

Colombian Heat:

You are going down, BOOYYYYYYY!!!

::Cut back to Puerto Rican Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. PRL and Lindsay smile evilly wearing their sunglasses and gold chains. PRL holds up the Puerto Rican Championship for the camera to do a close-up on.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:

OAOAST INTENSEZONE: LIGHTNING CREW THE BATTLE OF SAN JUAN!!! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED RIGHT!!!

::Cut back to Vitamin X::

Vitamin X:

And to those of you, who have offered yourselves up as opponents...

::The music and cheering stops. The confetti and balloons stop dropping. The camera does a close-up on Vitamin X. The Lightning Crew logo flashes by on the screen one more. X starts laughing and smiles evilly.::

Vitamin X:

What the hell were you thinking?!!!

::The movie projector stops rolling. The screen fades to black with the last image being Vitamin X smiling evilly on the podium.::

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

::We fade into a shot of a wall. A young man wearing a gas mask, a leather jacket, dress pants, and boots heads to the wall and begins spray-painting something onto it. As he is doing this, the opening melody to "No Chance In Hell" by Lloyd & Boyd is playing. As the whisper "Chance" is heard, the man is nearly finishing whatever he is spray-painting.::

Announcer:

And now. The OaOasT, Dan Black and the IntenseZone brand proudly present. OaOasT IntenseZone: Lightning Crew: The Battle of San Juan!!!

::The man finishes his spray-paint job. It is revealed to be The Battle of San Juan logo. The camera centers in on the logo as "No Chance In Hell" by Lloyd & Boyd starts playing.::

::The camera does a wide pan shot of Roberto Clemente Coliseum. The crowd is cheering like crazy and hold up their signs and Puerto Rico flags while "No Chance In Hell" continues to play. Fireworks shoot up from the entrance, the stage, and the ring. The camera shows the cheering fans while a graphic appears reading "LIVE FROM SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO."::

::The set is very much like the usual IZ set except for some minor differences. The AngleTron is on top, but instead of the IZ logo on the bottom, there is a Battle of San Juan logo instead. Also, two large banners hang from the sides of the entrance. On the left side, is a picture of the Lightning Crew, and on the right side is a large banner of Puerto Rican Lightning posing with the Puerto Rican Championship belt. PYRO~! PYRO~! PYRO~! continues shooting out as the camera pans the crowd, and several fans who are dressed up in Puerto Rico flag paraphendilia. Right next to the entrance is a stage and on the other side is a DJ booth where Funkmaster Flex is presiding. A giant banner reading "PRL COUNTRY" is shown as "No Chance In Hell" by Lloyd & Boyd comes to an end. A spotlight shines on Funkmaster Flex as the crowd quiets down.::

Funkmaster Flex:

Alright, yo, alright yo!!! Welcome everybody to the IntenseZone from San Juan, Puerto Rico!!!

::The crowd cheers. Several Puerto Rican women blow kisses to the camera.::

Funkmaster Flex:

All the Boricuas? Where you at? Raise your hands up! REPRESENT, YA HEARD?

::More cheers.::

Funkmaster Flex:

My name is Funkmaster Flex and I will be the master of ceramony for tonight's show. I will be on the 1s and the 2s spinning the records for the opening ceramony. So, if you are ready, let me hear you say "YEAH!"

::The crowd saids "YEAH!!!"::

Funkmaster Flex:

If you are ready to see Puerto Rican Lightning, make some noise!

::The crowd cheers some more. Several fans blow horns.::

Funkmaster Flex:

Alright then. Alright then. Now, let's get this party started right! The opening ceramony has begun!!!

::Funkmaster Flex puts two records on. "Puerto Rico", one of his signature songs, begins playing. As the drum machine kicks in, Flex scratches the disk to the crowd's delight. He DJs the song for a few minutes with spotlights circling the arena and the crowd cheering.::

Funkmaster Flex:

Alright, when I stop the record you shout out "Lightning Crew." A'ight? 1,2,3! Hit IT!

*PUERTO RICO*

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

*PUERTO RICO*

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

*PUERTO RICO*

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

*PUERTO RICO*

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

::Funkmaster Flex scratches the records some more and then points to a spotlight on the stage.::

Funkmaster Flex:

Now, now, now. Everyone put your hands together. Give it up for Chuck D., Flava Flav, Professor Griff, and Terminator X on the 1s and the 2s. Public Enemy! And give it up for Timmy Cummerford on Bass. Brad Wilkford on drums. And Tom Morello on guitar! The members of Audioslave. EVERYBODY SCREAM!!!

::The crowd screams as Public Enemy and Audioslave make their appearance on the stage. Pyro shoots off as "Puerto Rico" continues to play, with Audioslave adding to the song with their own instruments. Flava Flav comes out wearing a Puerto Rico flag jersey and hypes the crowd up.::

Chuck D.:

GET UP! GET UP! GET UP! YA'LL! SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO! GET UP ON YOUR FEET! COME ON!

Flava Flav:

EVERYBODY SAY "YEAH!" SAY "HELL YEAH!"

Chuck D.:

Alright, we got a party going on here. Audioslave, Public Enemy. OaOasT Battle of San Juan. Puerto Rico is in the house!

Flava Flav:

Let's rock the house!

Chuck D.:

When I say P., you say R. P!

Crowd:

R!

Chuck D.:

P!

Crowd:

R!

Chuck D.:

When I say LIGHT, you say NING. LIGHT!

Crowd:

NING!

Chuck D.:

LIGHT!

Crowd:

NING!

Flava Flav:

GET YOUR ASSES OFF YOUR SEATS! THIS IS PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING'S NIGHT!!!

Chuck D.:

Now everyone, direct your attention to the AngleTron. And say it with me now, "GO, P.R., GO, P.R., GO!"

::The AngleTron shows a montage of Puerto Rican Lightning intersperse with the words "GO, P.R.!"::

Crowd:

GO, P.R., GO, P.R., GO!

Chuck D.:

Say, "GO, P.R., GO, P.R., GO!"

Crowd:

GO, P.R., GO, P.R., GO!

Chuck D.:

Base

It's the rhytmn

The rhytmn of the mind

But sucka M.C.'s refuse to hear it

They don't wanna listen

They don't wanna get wicked

Flava:

PRL!

Chuck D.:

Is the man with the rhytmn

A high flyer

brawler, ass kicking machine

He does what no one else can do

And he does with a smile

And that's the truth, Ruth

Flava Flav:

NOTHING

Chuck D.:

Nothing scares him

He's on a mission

To be the Champion

Flava:

VICTORY

Chuck D.:

Is what he wants

Want he needs

And what bleeds

With a rebel yell

And a F.U. Attitude

He will take down all the fools

Puerto Rican Lightning is his name

And representin' Puerto Rico is his game!

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

Hardcore

to the bone

Don't mess with P.R.

when he is in the zone

A latino thug

But with a mind of his own

Don't believe the hype

He's truly grown

Flava Flav:

A leader

Chuck D.:

With honor and dignity

He has what's missing

in today's society

Flava:

Talented

Chuck D.:

He can do it all

Whether it's wrestling

Or Martial Arts

So if you've seen the best

Fool, you must be joking

Because once you've seen P.R.

The rest are nothin'

The #1 Wrestler in the world is swell

His intinals are P-R-L

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D, Flava Flav, and Professor Griff:

PUERTO RICO!

Crowd:

LIGHTNING CREW!

Chuck D.:

That's right, ya'll. Ya know what I mean?

Flava Flav:

YEAH! YEAHHHHHHHH BOOYYYYYYYYYY!!!! THIS IS OFF THE HOOK, SON!

Chuck D.:

Puerto Rican Lightning. Public Enemy. Audioslave. Funkmaster Flex. OaOasT. Battle of San Juan. IntenseZone. San Juan, Puerto Rico. This is historic, you know what I'm saying?

Professor Griff:

COME ON SAN JUAN!

::Public Enemy get the crowd hyped up while Audioslave continues playing "Puerto Rico" with Funkmaster Flex. Several Puerto Rico flags wave in the crowd as Funkmaster Flex scratches the records.::

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

Funkmaster Flex:

All right, yo! Party people, everyone get your Asses off your seats! Give it up, for the man! The very reason all of you are out here tonight! Put your hands together, San Juan, Puerto Rico, for the Puerto Rican Champion. Puerto Rican Lightning!!!!!

::”Puerto Rico” continues being played when through the fog, enter Puerto Rican Lightning and the Lightning Crew. The crowd explodes with cheers as P.R. Lightning smiles and spins around. Decked out in a white Lightning Crew T-Shirt, black baggy jeans, and his wrestling boots, P.R. slaps hands with the fans down the aisle. The Lightning Crew follow him, but Colombian Heat, wearing a white top hat, a purple sweat suit, white sneakers, a clock around his neck, gold teeth, and a gold watch stops by the stage and shakes hands with Flava Flav. Heat cannot believe he is on the same stage as Flava Flav and has to be dragged off by PRL. The crowd continues cheering, chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” as PRL beams with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez by his side holding the Puerto Rican Championship belt. PRL enters the ring and soaks in the cheers of the crowd. PRL smiles and yells out “YA GOTTA LOVE ME!” PRL grabs a microphone and “Puerto Rico” stops playing.::

::The camera does a wide pan of Roberto Clemente Coliseum. The crowd is cheering loudly and chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” PRL does nothing but smile and chants along with the fans. The Lightning Crew stands in the ring looking at the crowd with delight. Several pro-PRL signs are shown including a sign held by a little girl saying “I LUV PRL”. Puerto Rican Lightning is surprised by the fan’s reaction, but then holds the mic to his lips.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Finally…Tha Puerto Rican…. HAS COME BACK TO PUERTO RICO!!!

::More cheering. More chants.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:

It feels great! It feels great to be back in San Juan! It feels great to be back home! It feels great to be back in Puerto Rico in front of real wrestling fans who know who the best is!!!

Colombian Heat:

Come on, yo! Ya’ll better recognize who is in the ring, G!

PRL:

Thanks Heat. I feel proud to be here and I feel proud to be a Puerto Rican!

::Crowd cheers::

PRL:

Now, you may have noticed that ever since I’ve joined the OaOasT, I have received nothing but boos, chants, and garbage.

::The crowd boos loudly. The Lightning Crew all frown.::

PRL:

Everywhere I go in the United States and abroad, I get greeted with the same damn reaction. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” I mean, do these fans realize whom they are booing?

::The crowd boos. Some chant “NO!!!”::

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Now some people accuse me of being mean. Some accuse me of being vicious, psychotic, full of rage, heartless, gutless, a coward, and a downright evil son-of-a-bitch!

::BOOS~!::

PRL:

But damnit! I am none of the above! I am who I am because that is the only way to go! But I am not evil! I am a nice guy! I really am! I am really sweet, compassionate, kind, generous, but only if you are to me! And you see, no one in the OaOasT, or none of the fans is EVER kind to me!

::PRL nearly cries. He puts his head on Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez’s shoulders. He continues on, breathing a heavy sigh.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Some people also say that I have a big head. That I am an egomaniac. That I am cocky, arrogant, and overconfident. Well, can you blame me for thinking highly of myself?! I am Puerto Rican Lightning! The longest reigning North American Champion in OaOasT history! The greatest Puerto Rican Champion of all time! The greatest wrestler to ever come out of Puerto Rico and the greatest wrestler who ever lived!!! I can’t help it if I think high of myself because that is the truth, Ruth! And when you look as good as I do, and when you accomplish as much as I have, you can’t help but have a lot of self-confidence. That’s not arrogance, that’s self-confidence!

::The crowd cheers! The Lightning Crew agree with everything PRL has said.::

PRL:

As I stand here looking at the 10,000 Puerto Ricans that are in this stadium, I can’t help but smile. Because I know that not ALL OaOasT fans think I am evil. I smile because I know that each and every one of you thinks highly of me. I know that each and every one of you loves me and cherish me. I think about this sellout crowd, and the way you people have followed my every move since I arrived in San Juan, and I think, “This is my reason for living. This is why I wake up every morning. This is why I go out there and wrestle. This is why I put my body on the line every single night. This is why I do what I do! BECAUSE OF YOU! BECAUSE OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FANS! BECAUSE YOU CARE ABOUT ME! BECAUSE YOU LOVE PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!!”

::The crowd cheers again. They chant “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!”::

PRL:

Tonight you fans will see why I rule the school live in person! The main event. 8-Man Tag! Team Lightning Crew vs. Team OaOasT! Watch as I put the show on my life in this very ring for each and every one of you! I love each and every one of you and I am thankful that you are out here seeing me wrestle! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

::The crowd cheers some more. PRL is about to leave the ring, but Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez pulls him back in. PRL is confused.::

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

Wait a minute. Wait a minute P.R. Wait just a second. Don’t go anywhere just yet. Do not leave. You see, people of Puerto Rico, we, the Lightning Crew, put together this little video tribute to you, Puerto Rican Lightning. We all chipped in and we are now going to present to you, a montage of your career highlights. We love you and this is our way of showing it. You are the leader of the Lightning Crew, and we are thankful for that. So direct your attention to the AngleTron, for our special video tribute to you, Puerto Rican Lightning.

::Puerto Rican Lightning looks at the AngleTron with a curious look on his face. The crowd cheers as the lights go down in the arena. The camera zooms in on the AngleTron. The Lightning Crew look on.::

::Cue Puerto Rican Lightning tribute video::

::”Clocks” by Coldplay begins playing. As the opening piano medley is heard, the camera pans to a collage of PRL pictures and magazines. The camera shows photos of PRL when he was a baby, progressing to when he wrestled in Mexico as the Lightning Kid. The camera then cuts to home movies of a teenage PRL; follow by more pictures of him in high school progressing until a promo shot of Puerto Rican Lightning is shown. As the camera zooms in on several pictures and the song begins, Puerto Rican Lightning’s voice is heard.::

Puerto Rican Lightning (narrating):

It was never suppose to happen. I was not supposed to be a superstar. It didn’t happen to guys like me. Guys who were picked on in school. Guys who were bullied, who attempted suicide. Guys who were my size were never supposed to be main eventers. I was born as a nobody, and I thought I was going to die as a nobody. Never in my wildest dreams did I picture what would happen. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be successful. That I would become a champion. That I would become Puerto Rican Lightning.

*Lights go out, and I can’t be saved*

::Puerto Rican Lightning entering the ring in Mexico as the Lightning Kid.::

*Tides that I tried to swim against*

::Lightning Kid smiling and slapping hands with the fans. Lightning Kid raising championships.::

*You’ve put me down upon my knees*

::Lightning Kid falling down after a match. Puerto Rican Lightning kneeling in front of the OaOasT North American and Puerto Rican Championship belts and bowing in front of them.::

*Oh, I beg, I beg and plead (singing)*

::Lightning Kid unmasking after his match against Rey Mysterio Jr. Lightning Kid walking to the back sobbing.::

*Come out of things unsaid*

::Lightning Kid wrestling in the indies without the mask.::

*Shoot an apple off my head (and a)*

::Lightning Kid raising the IWA: Puerto Rico Championship belt after completing his heel turn.::

*Trouble that can’t be named,

tigers waiting to be tamed (singing)*

::Lightning Kid flipping the crowd off. Puerto Rican Lightning posing in a broken down warehouse sneering at the camera.::

*Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee

Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee*

::Puerto Rican Lightning making his debut in the OaOasT. Puerto Rican Lightning fightning The Mad Cappa in his first match. Puerto Rican Lightning yelling at the camera.::

::As the song hits the first instrumental break, the clips continue: Puerto Rican Lightning posing on the turnbuckle. PRL debuting the Puerto Rican Championship belt. PRL sneering at the camera. PRL standing in the broken down warehouse sneering. Puerto Rican Lightning giving The Mad Cappa the P.R. Nightmare at AngleMania II and pinning him. PRL posing with the Puerto Rican Championship belt. PRL smiling evilly at the camera. PRL standing in a gym smiling. Close-up of PRL’s eyes.::

*Con-fusion never stops*

::PRL walking down the corridor to the ring smiling as a cameraman takes pictures of him.::

*Clos-ing walls and tick-ing clocks (gonna)*

::PRL bouncing off the ropes in the broken down warehouse::

*Come back and take you home*

::PRL doing the WrestleMania X Flashback Splash onto “Shooter” Jay Darring from the top of the ladder at Great Angle Bash.::

*I could not stop, that you now know (singing)*

::PRL staring at the camera in the broken down warehouse. PRL being electrocuted in the 3 Stages of Hell Match at License To Pin..::

*Come out upon my seas*

::Close-up of PRL’s face covered in thumbtacks.::

*Cursed missed oppturnities*

::PRL falling 20 feet through the announcer’s table at License To Pin.::

*Am I a-part of the cure?*

::Promo shot of Lightning Kid::

*Or am I a-part of the disease (singing)*

::Promo shot of Puerto Rican Lightning::

*Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee

Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee

Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee*

::A montage of Puerto Rican Lightning delivering the F.U. Elbow Drop. Intersperse with footage of Puerto Rican Lightning staring at the camera in the broken down warehouse. Puerto Rican Lightning looking at the camera as it rises up. A close-up shot of Puerto Rican Lightning.::

::The song hits the second instrumental break. More footage of PRL is shown: PRL sneering at the camera. PRL’s back with a Puerto Rican flag on it. PRL scribbling gibberish on his body with a sick look on his face. PRL doing the P.R. Nightmare on The Mad Cappa.::

*Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee

Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee*

::PRL puts on his Puerto Rican flag bandana. PRL doing the HBK pose with an evil smile on his face. PRL smiling a psychotic smile standing up. A close-up shot of PRL smiling a psychotic smile. The double chairshot from Dirty Deeds. PRL rising up before the count of 10. PRL crying after winning the North American Championship.::

*And nothing else compares

Oh no nothing else compares

And nothing else compares*

::A montage of close-ups of Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL raising the North American and Puerto Rican Championships. Shots of PRL raising the Puerto Rican Championship. PRL smiling evilly. PRL soaking in the boos. PRL laughing. PRL posing with Colombian Heat. PRL kissing Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. PRL laughing. PRL sneering in the broken down warehouse. PRL posing and then yelling. PRL sneering at the camera with the Puerto Rican Championship.::

::The opening piano medley is played again. Cut to PRL standing in a ring in an empty gym. Cut to PRL laughing evilly. Cut to a close-up of PRL’s eyes. PRL staring at the camera in the empty gym. PRL sneering. PRL relaxing on a turnbuckle. PRL looking into the sky in the empty gym. Soon, the medley changes and the music get faster. More clips of Puerto Rican Lightning are shown, this time in rapid-fire succession. The clips are from PRL’s Independent days, his OaOasT career, and his childhood photos. In all of this, PRL is heard narrating again.::

Puerto Rican Lightning (narrating):

I strive to be the best. Infact, I am the best. And until the day I die, I will wrestle. No force of nature and no act of God can stop me from wrestling. I will not stop because I am the greatest wrestler who ever lived.

*Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee

Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee*

::PRL posing in the broken down warehouse. Shots of PRL kissing Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez.::

*Home.

Home.

Where I want-ed to go.

Home.

Where I wanted to go.*

::Montage of Puerto Rican Lightning doing the Sweet Chin Music and the P.R. Nightmare on opponents in tune with the drums. Also intersperse with clips of PRL posing and doing the HBK pose while pyro shoots from behind him.::

*Home (Yoooooooouuuuuu)

Home.

Where I want-ed to go (Areeeeeeeeeeeee)*

::PRL screaming::

*Home (Yoooooooouuuuuu)

Home.

Where I want-ed to go (Areeeeeeeeeeeee)*

::PRL smiling evilly::

::Another piano medley is played. The song slows down and comes to an end. Puerto Rican Lightning is shown posing in the broken down warehouse without his shirt on in front of a Che Guevara t-shirt, a Puerto Rico flag, and the Lightning Crew logo. He has a Puerto Rico flag tattooed on his chest and is surrounded by fire. The last shot is of Puerto Rican Lightning looking directly into the camera in the ring in the empty gym. As the last notes are played, words in big, white blocky letters appear.::

*OUR HERO*

*OUR LEADER*

*OUR FRIEND*

*PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING*

::The video ends and the camera cuts back to Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL is smiling happily and is teary eyed. He wipes away his tears as the crowd applauds. The Lightning Crew give him a standing ovation and the crowd chants “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” PRL is crying, yet smiling at the same time. The camera pans to a shot of someone raising the Puerto Rico flag. The camera cuts to Public Enemy and Audioslave and Funkmaster Flex applauding Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL is speechless. The crowd gives him a standing ovation and cheer as loud as they can. PRL tries to speak, but the crowd continues cheering him. Finally, he speaks.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Wow. Just---Just---Just wow. I-I-I-I’m speechless. I’m utterly totally speechless. That was just awesome. That was incredible. That was the best montage I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Thank you, Lightning Crew. Thank you so much. I love you guys. You have no idea how much I love each and every one of you. So, yo, what are we waiting for?

Colombian Heat:

Yo, are you ready to blow the roof of this joint, G?

Crowd:

YES!!!

PRL:

ARE YOU READY?

Crowd:

YES!!!

PRL:

THEN I DECLARE LIGHTNING CREW: THE BATTLE OF SAN JUAN: THE OAOAST INTENSEZONE FROM SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO OFFICIALLY UNDERWAY!!! I’LL SEE YOU ALL LATER TONIGHT FOR THE MAIN EVENT!

::”No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd begins playing. The crowd cheers loudly and chants “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” as the Lightning Crew exits the ring. Puerto Rican Lightning slaps hands with the fans at ringside, and even hops over the barricade and sits in one of the front row seats. He smiles and relaxes on the seat for a few seconds as the crowd clamors over to him. PRL hops over the barricade again and then heads to a section of the front row and hugs the fans. PRL yells out “MY FANS! THESE ARE MY FANS! THESE PEOPLE LOVE ME! I’M THE GOD! I’M THE GOD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!” PRL joins the Lightning Crew up the entrance as Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez, and Cuban Wall head to the announcer’s booth. They wave goodbye to PRL and take their headsets and sit down. Thomas Rodriguez sits on the left side. Vitamin X sits in the middle. And Cuban Wall sits on the right side.::

Vitamin X:

Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? Hello? Oh! Alright! WELCOME EVERYONE TO INTENSEZONE! WELCOME TO LIGHTNING CREW: THE BATTLE OF SAN JUAN! This is the special OaOasT IntenseZone from San Juan, Puerto Rico. 10,050 fans have packed Roberto Clemente Coliseum to witness tonight’s card, which will have 2 star caliber matches.

Thomas Rodriguez:

The OaOasT North American Title will be defended as The Champion; The Shuffle takes on Stephen Joseph with Dan Black as the Special Guest Referee.

Vitamin X:

And in the main event, it will be an 8 Man Tag Team Match. Team OaOasT: The Mad Cappa, “Reject” Aaron Justin, Teddy Weddy, and K-NESS takes on Team Lightning Crew: Puerto Rican Lightning, Colombian Heat, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, and Cuban Wall.

Cuban Wall:

Why did you have to say my name last?

Vitamin X:

What? I’m sorry.

Cuban Wall:

Don’t play me!

Vitamin X:

Whatever Wall. Whatever. IZ fans, this show is a little different from other IntenseZone’s. JR will not be announcing tonight, as he is busy recuperating from PROTOTYPE’S attack on him last week. Instead, I will. I will be joined by Thomas Rodriguez, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Spanish Fly. These men will join at random points. This show was produced by the Lightning Crew, organized by the Lightning Crew, and presented in association with the OaOasT and the IntenseZone brand. You will be seeing something different tonight. This is the first IntenseZone to be held in San Juan, Puerto Rico, so this is a historic night for the IntenseZone brand. You won’t be seeing me wear any stupid cowboy hat. Nope, it’s leather jackets, jeans, sneakers, and Lightning Crew t-shirts for me!

Cuban Wall:

You sure you can do this?

Vitamin X:

Yeah, I am ready. I have done announcing before, this will be no different.

Cuban Wall:

Just be sure you don’t screw up. PRL IS watching you know.

Vitamin X:

Relax, Wall. I have this in control. You should go get ready for the main event.

Thomas Rodriguez:

Don’t screw up.

Vitamin X:

Relax. This is OUR night. The Lightning Crew is here. PRL has returned home. This will be a great night! Let’s get to it! BOO-YAH!

Thomas Rodriguez:

Never say BOO-YAH ever again.

Vitamin X:

What’s wrong with that T-Bone?

Thomas Rodriguez:

And don’t call me T-Bone!

Vitamin X:

You mean I can’t have cute nicknames for you guys? I can’t call Cuban Wall C-Dogg?

Cuban Wall:

NO!!!

Vitamin X:

Fine. But I’m the X-Factor. And the X-Factor saids that this show will be off the hook!

Cuban Wall:

You’re starting to sicken me.

Thomas Rodriguez:

Let’s just get on with the show.

Vitamin X:

We'll be right back after these messages!

::FADE OUT::

::COMMERCIALS::

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

Take away our dignity.

Take away our respect.

Take away our drive.

Take away our chances.

Take away our rights.

Take away our shots.

Take away my shot.

::Blackness obscures into light, and then into Stephen Joseph, standing with an IZ shirt with logo.::

Get away with the theft.

Never. Notice.

Dan Black. History at Zero Hour.

Dan Black. Champion No More.

Dan Black. AngleMania Martyr.

Dan Black. Just Another Notch.

Dan Black. Just Another Obstacle.

Then.

OaOasT Championship.

HeldDown. Hold it no longer

HeldDown. HoarDer

HeldDown. Just...another...show

INtenseZone

INvasive

We will have our day.

::Out from the shadows steps "Shooter" Jay Darring~! and The Shuffle~!::

::All three in unison.::

HeldDown No Longer!

Stephen Joseph

Dan Black, Dead Bastard

See you in Hell.

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

::The camera cuts to a crowd shot. The crowd has quieted down, with several fans holding their signs up. The camera does another wide pan of Roberto Clemente Coliseum as we return to Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez, and Cuban Wall in the announcer's booth.::

Vitamin X:

Wow. That was certainly interesting.

Cuban Wall:

A really crpytic promo from Stephen Joseph.

Thomas Rodriguez:

But what does it all mean?

Vitamin X:

I have no idea, T-Bone. Whatever it means, it certainly means trouble for Dan Black, and quite possibly for the HeldDown brand.

Cuban Wall:

Is IZ going to invade HD?

Thomas Rodriguez:

Maybe. I couldn't depicher what Joseph was saying.

Vitamin X:

Ol' X-Factor right here was suprised by the promo. Maybe the motive will be revealed in the upcoming weeks as we head closer and closer to AngleMania III Sunday March 28th live on pay-per-view! But we still got stuff planned for tonight. The NA Title Match is coming up shortly and don't forget the main event. An 8-Man Tag Team Match. Team OaOasT vs. Team Lightning Crew. It will surely be an event that you don't want to miss!

::The camera does a pan of the crowd. Alot of fans mug for the camera, screaming "#1! PRL IS NUMBER 1! VIVA LA RAZA! P.R.! NUMBER ONE!" Fans wearing Lightning Crew t-shirts are shown the most.::

Vitamin X:

This is truly a great night. We are here live in San Juan, Puerto Rico, P.R.'s hometown. 10,050 people are in this stadium rooting the Lightning Crew on. This is a celebration of all thing's PRL! Millions of people are watching this event at home. BAWD GAWD THIS IS GREAT! Look at the people! 10,050 fellow Puerto Ricans are jam packed into this stadium.

::The camera continues circling the crowd. A few fans are shown showing off their white Lightning Crew t-shirts and doing gang signs for the camera. Several hot latina women mug for the camera. They are all smiles.::

Vitamin X:

Oh my! Good god, the women are hot here in Puerto Rico! I feel lucky tonight. But San Juan has been waiting all week for this night!

::The Battle of San Juan and IntenseZone logos flash by on the screen. "100%" by Big Pun begins to play. The camera cuts to sunny San Juan. Banners and signs proclaiming PRL's appearance are plastered throughout the city. Several fans are shown motorcycling down the streets holding up Lightning Crew flags. One sign reads "WELCOME HOME P.R.!" that is hung in Olde San Juan.::

Vitamin X:

Ever since PRL announced the event a month ago, the fans have been jacked up. Signs and banners have been hung throughout Puerto Rico all this week and Puerto Ricans all over have waited for Lightning's appearance.

Thomas Rodriguez:

This is something that is a once in a lifetime thing. Everyone wants to be apart of this event. Everyone.

Cuban Wall:

I am not suprised that these people are crazy for PRL. COME ON! It's Puerto Rican Lightning!

Vitamin X:

The crowd waited and waited, and it finally came. We arrived in San Juan on Friday night to a king's welcome.

::The camera cuts to a McDonald's in San Juan. A graphic reads "THIS PAST SATURDAY". A poster proclaims that PRL will be signing autographs in the McDonald's from 12-2 p.m. The line is a mile long, with several fans mugging for the camera. Puerto Rican Lightning, Colombian Heat, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are inside the McDonald's signing autographs and taking pictures. PRL hugs small children while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez kisses several teenage boys. Colombian Heat does several poses with the fans. PRL shakes hands with several people, including one girl who cries when she shakes his right hand.::

Vitamin X:

This past Saturday, Puerto Rican Lightning, Colombian Heat, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez appeared at a local McDonald's in San Juan. The line stretched a mile long, but P.R. didn't care. He does it for the fans, and took the time out to sign autographs for everybody. It was suppose to last from 12-2, but due to the large line, PRL stood till 4! What a great guy PRL is! Nice enough to sign autographs for everyone in San Juan! What a really awesome guy he is!

Cuban Wall:

Indeed. PRL is super, super nice. It was truly a great weekend for the Lightning Crew.

::Cuts to PRL wrestling in the ring while cameras shoot his every move. PRL hangs out with the Lightning Crew.::

Vitamin X:

PRL was greeted by the Puerto Rico media everywhere he went. It was incredible.

Cuban Wall:

PRL coming to San Juan is like the Beatles arriving in America, or the Hart Foundation returning to Calgary, Alberta, Canada. It is something that sends the people into a frenzy.

Thomas Rodriguez:

It was truly a great weekend.

Vitamin X:

And so, it ends tonight with Puerto Rican Lightning and the Lightning Crew in the main event taking on The Mad Cappa, K-NESS, "Reject" Aaron Justin, and Teddy Weddy. The crowd will be jacked up for that. Isn't that right, T-Bone? C-Dawgg?

Cuban Wall:

I TOLD YOU TO NOT CALL ME THAT!

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

ANGLESAULT MOMENT presented by "Honor Thy 'Sault" salt shakers available at OAOASTShopzone.com

COURTESY:

Beach Brawl

July 14, 2002

OaOasT Home Entertainment

AS rips the mic out of Cole's hands.

Anglesault: SHUT THE FUCK UP, COLE! Now, I know many people think I don't like Treble Cleft. They think I am just MEAN to him. Well, i am here to prove them wrong. In fact, I like Cleft. So much so, that I have written a poem about him. I call it "Ode to Cleft"

AS pulls out a piece of paper and starts reading.

T is for all the little boys you touch

R is for the young men you run around with

E is for how excited Kiddie porn gets you.

B is for the baby oil you use on unwilling participants.

L is for your habit of licking genitals

E is for what an enormous pedophile you are.

C is for how men make you cu... DAMNIT COLE, stop drooling!

L is for the lovin' you give to minors.

E is for all the erotic positions you take.

F is for how "friendly" you are with four year olds.

And Finally...

T is for the HUGE ASS KICKING I AM GIVING YOU TONIGHT!

AS throws the mic down and walks away.

VOICE-OVER

This has been an AngleSault moment, paid for by Dan Black & Associates.

The HOTTEST FREE AGENT on the market returns to television NEXT WEEK to receive the first ever OaOasT Lifetime Acheviement Award...and Dan Black hopes to get 'Sault to sign an exclusive contract with IZ.

::The IntenseZone logo flashes by on the screen. The camera pans to a section of fans wearing white Lightning Crew t-shirts. They mug for the camera, but then the camera cuts to the announcer's booth with Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez, and Cuban Wall, who are all shocked.::

Vitamin X:

Well I'll be. I can't believe it. Anglesault. THE ANGLESAULT. The man who CREATED the OaOasT. The man who is the reason this company even exists, is coming back to IntenseZone next week!

Cuban Wall:

HA! HA! I remember that promo! I was on the floor rolling around laughing after hearing that one! That was indeed a classic Anglesault moment!

Thomas Rodriguez:

Anglesault hasn't been seen since License To Pin in July. He hasn't been seen on IntenseZone since April 7th of last year. This whole brand extenstion started because of him. He was bittered and pissed off after losing the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship to Zack Malibu at AngleMania II, and wanted to shut down the OaOasT. However, former IZ General Manager Damien "The Dames" Gonzalez prevented that from happening, and the Brand Extenstion resulted from that!

Vitamin X:

Anglesault was apart of HeldDown, and the last we saw of him, the fans were actually starting to cheer the guy! But he just disappeared off the face of the earth, and because of that he was let from his HeldDown contract and is now a free agent! Now, can you imagine how big of a deal it would be if Dan Black can sign Anglesault to IntenseZone? That would be a HUGE blow to HeldDown!

Cuban Wall:

I would LOVE it if Anglesault joined IntenseZone. 'Sault is one of the people in the OaOasT I respect besides the Lightning Crew.

Vitamin X:

He founded this organazation. He is the boss, and you don't wanna cross the boss! Will he decide to join IZ and give this show a little boost? You gotta tune in next week to find out! "Ice Heart" will be giving The 'Sault a Lifetime Achievement Award and try to sign him to IZ. Will the A-to-the-N-to-the-G-to-the-L-to-the-E-to-the-S-to-the-A-to-the-U-to-the-L-to-the-T sign with the I-to-the-Z?

Thomas Rodriguez:

Well, I hope so!

Vitamin X:

Anglesault rules! He is the best wrestler in the OaOasT...next to Puerto Rican Lightning!

Cuban Wall:

That is true. Anglesault is witty, smart, and talented. He is a great man. Not AS great as Puerto Rican Lightning, but just as much.

Thomas Rodriguez:

Yes. Anglesault is not AS good as Puerto Rican Lightning, but just as good.

Vitamin X:

That is true. Only PRL is the greatest. Anyway, folks coming up next is the OaOasT North American Championship Match! The Shuffle will take on Stephen Joseph with Dan Black as the special guest referee! As JR might say, this will be a slobberknocker folks! We'll be right back right after this!

::COMMERCIALS::

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

::A trumpet blares. The planet Earth is shown. The camera zooms in on the United States. The camera zooms in on a CGI city. The camera does a bird’s-eye view of the CGI city before zooming in on a domed stadium. The camera zooms into the inside of the domed stadium. “Fight” plays as spotlights circle the stadium. A close-up is shown of the CGI ring. Finally, there is a shot at the top of the CGI dome. Fireworks explode from the ring, and spotlights shine on the OaOasT AngleMania III logo. The OaOasT AngleMania III logo stands in the center of the ring as spotlights shine on it. A small ticker is placed underneath the logo. All together it saids “OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III: WHAT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO 48 DAYS AWAY.” Fireworks explode again as “Fight” stops playing.::

::Cut back to the arena.::

Vitamin X:

OaOasT AngleMania III: What It All Comes Down To is 48 days away! The biggest OaOasT event of the year and what is without a doubt, the biggest pay-per-view of all time! And hey, what would a pay-per-view be without Puerto Rican Lightning? He will DEFITNELY be at AngleMania III! Isn't that right, C-Dawgg?

Cuban Wall:

That is right. AND DON'T CALL ME C-DAWGG!!!

Thomas Rodriguez:

Puerto Rican Lightning will be at AngleMania III, and he himself will make AngleMania III the greatest pay-per-view of all time!

Vitamin X:

OaOasT AngleMania III: What It All Comes Down To. Sunday, March 29, 2004 live only on pay-per-view! Come take part in the greatest pay-per-view of all time thanks to Puerto Rican Lightning!

OaOasT North American Championship Match

The Shuffle vs. Stephen Joseph

Special Guest Referee: Dan Black:

*DING DING DING*

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

The following contest is set for one fall and is for the OaOasT North American Championship! Introducing first, the special referee, already in the ring, the IntenseZone General Manager-DANNNN BLACKKKKKKKKK!!!!

::In the ring, Dan, wearing a referees shirt and black trunks, raises a hand to the crowd, drawing a chorus of boos in response.::

Vitamin X:

YEA BLACK! COME ON BLACK! YEAH BABY! BOO-YAH!!!

::"Aww Naww" by Nappy Roots hits up, and the crowd rises to their feet!::

Vitamin X:

AW CRAP!

Thomas Rodriguez:

Ugh. Here comes Stephen Joseph!

Cuban Wall:

I should go down there and kick his ass!

GMC

Coming down the aisle, the challenger, weighing 230lbs.-STEPHEN JOOOOOOOOOOOOOSEPHHHHHHHH!!!!

::The fans roar SJ down to the ring, as the OaOasT veteran slaps a few hands, steps into the squared circle and stares down Dan Black.::

Vitamin X:

Stephen Joseph did not have to force PRL to defend the North American Title at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. He did not have to force him to have a match against The Mad Cappa. Joseph is just bitter because The Lightning Crew kicked his ass months ago!

Cuban Wall:

We should have crippled him! He is abusing his power making PRL suffer! Son-Of-A-Bitch!

Thomas Rodriguez:

I wish I was the referee for this match, I would take care of Stephen Joseph!

Vitamin X (quietly):

You wish you could.

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

And his opponent...

::BLIND FLASH OF PYRO~! hits as the North American Champion's music, "The Horror" by RJD2 plays.::

GMC

Coming down the aisle. He is the reigning and defending One And Only Anglesault Thread North American champion, from LYNNWOOD, WASHINGTON, U.S.A.-THEEEEEEEEEEE SHUFFLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

::The crowd is behind Shuffle too, giving him a big pop.::

Vitamin X:

Oh good. Here comes someone else I don't like!

Cuban Wall:

He is the wrestler named after a game that old folks play! THE SHUFFLE! The man who STOLED the North American Championship from Puerto Rican Lightning!!!

Thomas Rodriguez:

The Shuffle pulled off the upset of the decade by actually BEATING PRL! And don't think that Lightning has forgotten the lost. He just has bigger fish to fry. Mainly the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship!

Vitamin X:

Exactly, T-Bone. PRL may no longer be the North American Champion, but that hasn't stopped him. He won't let that end his career. He is still going strong. He is not giving up easily. He will move on and continue progressing in his career. He will soon be the OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion. Mark my words.

::Shuffle dances down to the ring, title belt strapped around his waist. As he enters however, Dan Black immediately snatches the belt away from him and throws it out of the ring to the floor. Shuffle glares at Dan for disrespecting his title, but Black merely signals for the start of the match.::

*DING DING DING*

Shuffle and SJ exchange a quick handshake, and start to circle each other.

Vitamin X:

There is a conspiracy against PRL in the OaOasT and it is led by Stephen Joseph!

Cuban Wall:

The OaOasT doesn't want him to suceed!

Vitamin X:

Fight the power! P.R.L.! Fight the machine!

A lockup, and SJ twists Shuffle into an armbar. The champ tries to counter, but before he can do so, Dan Black is in SJ's face, telling him to break the hold. Stephen shrugs and breaks, as Dan points to the Shuffle's hair.

Vitamin X:

Good job by Dan Black! Enforcing the rules of this contest! Way to go!

Shuffle and SJ lock up again, with Shuffle this time overpowering SJ into a headlock, but Dan again calls for the break, this time telling Shuffle that his bootlace is untied and thus the hold is illegal!

Thomas Rodriguez:

Hmmm. I don't remember that rule being in the OaOasT rulebook. But regardless, a rule's a rule, and therefore it must be followed. So kudos to Black. Way to go!

The crowd BOOS Dan as he makes Shuffle tie his lace. At last we get back into it with a third lock up. SJ gets a wristlock, which Shuffle counters to a standing arm bar. SJ moves over and gets his foot onto the bottom rope to break, but Black just ignores it. After a few seconds Shuffle breaks of his own accord, and both men glare at Black, who gestures them back to the match.

Cuban Wall:

Hey, Black's the ref and you guys just have to deal with it. There's nothing you can do about that!

Vitamin X:

That's right C-Dawgg. Stephen Joseph must follow the rules if he doesn't want to get disqualified and lose a chance to become North American Champion again.

A lock up again, but Shuffle comes up with a stiff chop to the chest of SJ. Another chop and a whip to the ropes, but SJ ducks Shuffle's lariat and takes him down with a crucifix pin!

ONE!

Shuffle wriggles and kicks out.

Vitamin X:

Some may call that count slow. Was that a slow count, Thomas?

Thomas Rodriguez:

No, it wasn't. It was regulary paced. Dan Black is showing no biased in this match tonight.

Both men are up and go to attack Dan, but he slides out of the ring. SJ and Shuffle control themselves and go back to the match as Dan grins and sneaks back in.

Vitamin X:

Now this is not right. Attacking the referee. Don't Joseph and Shuffle have any morals? Any souls? This is not right! Leave him alone. This is not right at all.

Cuban Wall:

Shuffle and Stephen Joseph should leave Black alone!

Thomas:

They could get thereselves disqualified for this act of unsportsmenlike conduct!

SJ blocks a chop from Shuffle and nails him with a pair of forearm shots. Joseph whips Shuffle into the corner, and Stephen follows in with a high knee. SJ hooks Shuffle with a front face lock and plants him with a snap suplex.

Vitamin X:

Oh my! What a move!

Stephen pulls Shuffle up and signals for the Fallen Angel-but Dan Black pushes him away from Shuffle, shaking his head. Stephen shoves Dan Black down to the mat. Black scrambles up and threatens Stephen with a DQ. SJ's response is a boot to the gut-and hits Dan with his own stunner, the Blackout! A huge pop from the crowd.

Vitamin X:

NO! NO! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! WHAT IS THIS? STEPHEN JOSEPH HAS JUST ATTACKED THE REFEREE FOR THIS MATCH! THIS IS UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT! THIS IS UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT!

Cuban Wall:

The nerve of Stephen Joseph. Beating on the referee. Black was not prepared for this. He is not in his wrestling tights! He is the referee! This is not fair!

Thomas Rodriguez:

Stephen Joseph just violated the rules! He should be punish for this! He is part of OaOasT corporate, he should set a better example!

Shuffle is up, and Stephen throws a groggy Dan into his clutches. Shuffle is about to go for the Shuffle Bomb, when Black nails him with a low blow. Stephen heads for Dan, but Black cracks him with a punch that floors Joseph. Dan Black reveals the STEEL knucks that hospitalised SpiderPoet last month.

Vitamin X:

HA! HA! HA! DAN BLACK RETURNING THE FAVOR TO STEPHEN JOSEPH! HA! HA! NICE JOB DANNY BOY!

Cuban Wall:

This is exactly what Black should be doing to these two! Kick their asses!

Dan picks Shuffle up and NAILS him with the knucks also. With SJ down and bleeding from the mouth, Dan grins and makes a signal. Out from the back, a group of roadies pull a huge, industrial freezer.

Thomas Rodriguez:

I take it this match has just ended in a no contest.

Cuban Wall:

Good. These two don't deserve to win.

Vitamin X:

But fellas, if you look at ringside. There is now a freezer being pulled to the ring apron.

Cuban Wall:

This is rather approaite. The "Ice Heart" is burying these two jabronies in ice! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! I made a funny!

Vitamin X:

I think it's quite obvious what Dan Black is going to do with that freezer.

::The freezer is placed at ringside and opened, as Dan grabs Stephen Joseph and starts to drag him towards it.::

Vitamin X:

Now, I get it. Coming up at OaOasT Zero Hour: Night of the X, Dan Black and Stephen Joseph will compete in the first ever Artic Freezer match! To win the opponent must be locked in a freezer just like the one in the ring. And now Joseph is getting a preview of what will happen to him on February 23rd!

Thomas Rodriguez:

Dan Black is putting Stephen Joseph where he belongs, on ICE!

Cuban Wall:

This is great!

::Dan has Stephen on the ring apron, and is about to shove him off and into the freezer, to the boos of the crowd.::

Vitamin X:

COME ON DAN! FREEZE HIS ASS! FREEZE IT!!

::Shuffle is up. Shuffle grabs Dan from behind, spins him around-KICK ASS BLASTAH! Dan is down and out.::

Vitamin X:

NOW COME ON! DAMN SHUFFLE! He JUST DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO GO AWAY!

Cuban Wall:

Dan Black will get his oppturnity! He will freeze Stephen Joseph in the fridge. At Zero Hour, Dan Black will get the final victory over Stephen Joseph! Stephen Joseph will freeze to death!!!

::Shuffle and SJ leave together, as Dan picks himself up shakily in the ring, flopping against the ropes will an evil grimace on his face. "Awww Nawww" by Nappy Roots starts playing.::

Cuban Wall:

UGH! I hate this song. I hate rap. I hate Stephen Joseph!

Vitamin X:

It's okay. Because "Ice Heart" Dan Black will freeze Stephen Joseph in the Artic Freezer match coming up next Sunday at Zero Hour! HE WILL MAKE SURE STEPHEN JOSEPH NEVER FEELS THE SAME AGAIN! OaOasT Zero Hour: Night of the X. Next Sunday, February 23rd. IntenseZone General Manager "Ice Heart" Dan Black takes on OaOasT Corporate member Stephen Joseph in the first time ever Artic Freezer Match. Who will freeze whom? Dan Black that's who!

::The camera cuts back to the announcer's booth. "No Chance In Hell" by Lloyd & Boyd begins playing.::

Cuban Wall:

Alright, I gotta go get ready for the match.

Thomas Rodriguez:

So do I.

Vitamin X:

Alright good luck, T-Bone! Good luck C-Dawgg!

Cuban Wall:

DON'T CALL ME C-DAWGG DAMNIT!!!

Vitamin X:

Whatever, man.

::Cuban Wall and Thomas Rodriguez put down their headsets and shake hands with Vitamin X. They leave the announcer's booth leaving X by himself. Wall and Rodriguez chat, with Wall ticked off.::

Vitamin X:

Well, fans, coming up next, is without a doubt, the biggest match in Puerto Rican wrestling history! The 8 Man Tag Team Match. Team OaOasT vs. Team Lightning Crew. It's gonna happen baby, and it's gonna happen next! BOO-YAH!!!

Cuban Wall:

AND STOP SAYING BOO-YAH!!!

Vitamin X:

Geez.

::FADE OUT::

::COMMERCIALS for OaOasT Zero Hour: Night of the X, OaOasT action figures, OaOasT Deadly Game: Unlucky 7 on home video, the Zack Malibu: Zack Attack DVD, and Puerto Rican Lightning Lightning Crew t-shirt.::

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

Vitamin X:

People, coming up next is the main event. The big one. One of the biggest matches in PRL’s career and without a doubt, the biggest match in Puerto Rico wrestling history!

::The IntenseZone and The Battle of San Juan logos appear on the screen. It is followed by the match-up graphic for the 8 Man Tag Team Match. The crowd EXPLODES~! They become hyper once again, with several “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” chants starting up.::

Vitamin X:

It is time for the 8 Man Tag Team Match. The main event of The Battle of San Juan; the IntenseZone from San Juan, Puerto Rico. P.R. is returning home…to P.R.! Puerto Ricans have been looking forward for this match all week. Their hero is returning home, you saw the reaction the crowd gave PRL earlier tonight and throughout the week. I can’t wait to see them react to him coming up in a few minutes! 4 guys from the OaOasT: The Mad Cappa, “Shooter” Jay Darring, K-NESS, and Teddy Weddy vs. 4 guys from the Lightning Crew: Colombian Heat, Cuban Wall, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, and the leader, Puerto Rican Lightning. The fans have been looking forward to this match all week. The Lightning Crew will blow the roof off this joint!

::The camera pans the crowd. Pro-Lightning Crew and pro-PRL signs and banners are all over the stadium. Several fans mug for the camera as the camera centers on one sign reading “P.R.L.=P.R. PRIDE! Cut to the announcer’s table with Vitamin X, now joined by Spanish Fly, and Mr. Boricua.::

Vitamin X:

If you noticed, Thomas Rodriguez and Cuban Wall have left the announcer’s booth and I am now joined by Spanish Fly, and P.R.’s bodyguard, Mr. Boricua.

Spanish Fly:

Hola!

Mr. Boricua:

Hello. Everyone. I. Am. Proud. To. Be. Apart. Of. This. Show.

Vitamin X:

Very good, Mr. Boricua. You said a full sentence! Are you ready for this?

Fly:

Definitely.

Boricua:

Yes! YES! YES!

::The camera cuts to a group of people sitting in the front row. A graphic reveals that this is PRL’s family. PRL’s little cousin waves “Hi.” To the camera. Several members mug to the camera.::

Vitamin X:

Everyone has come out for this special night! Why look, there is Puerto Rican Lightning’s family! There’s his mom, his dad, his grandparents, his aunt and uncle. Even his cousins have come out. They are sitting in the front row, getting the view of the main event.

Mr. Boricua:

They. Are. So. Lucky.

Vitamin X:

I like to give a special thanks to P.R.’s mom and dad for creating the greatest wrestler who ever lived. PRL is a great, great man, and we have his parents to thank for that.

Spanish Fly:

Truly, they deserve credit for birthing this magnificent individual.

Vitamin X:

Now, it is time for the main event. Let’s head to the ring with Gary Michael Cappatetta to set this off! GMC! TAKE IT!!!

*DING DING DING*

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the main event for Lightning Crew: Battle of San Juan; the IntenseZone from San Juan, PUERTO RICO!!!

::The crowd explodes with cheers.::

Vitamin X:

I am getting Goosebumps. What a rush! What a rush! The place will explode in a few minutes!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

The following contest is an Eight-Man Tag Team Match scheldued for one fall. First, please give a warm welcome for the governor of Puerto Rico, Governor Sila Calderon, and the mayor of San Juan, Jose Santini!

::Calderon and Santini, who are sitting next to PRL’s family, stand up. They both smile and wave to the cheering crowd. It turns into a standing ovation with Vitamin X, Fly, and Mr. Boricua also standing up and cheering. Sila Calderon and Jose Santini sit down as the camera pans to someone waving the Puerto Rico flag.::

Vitamin X:

Good job, these two are doing. Very, very good job.

GMC:

And, fans, it is my pleasure to introduce Puerto Rican Lightning’s family!

::A spotlight centers on the members of PRL’s family. PRL’s dad and two male cousins raise their hands and wave to the applauding fans.::

Vitamin X:

I bet they’re proud of P.R. tonight. Being cheered by 10,050 fellow Puerto Ricans. He has come a long way from being picked on as a little kid!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

And now, here is the referee for the match. Hailing from Burbank, California, but now residing in San Juan, Puerto Rico! ::Cheap Pop:: He is the official referee for the Lightning Crew, please give a warm welcome for THOMAS RODDDDDDDDRIIGGGGGGGGUEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!

::The crowd applauds Thomas. Thomas blows a kiss to the crowd and smiles.::

Vitamin X:

YEAH! THAT’S MY BOY! THAT’S MY BOY!

::”Hate Me Now” by Nas and Puff Daddy starts playing. The crowd BOOS~!::

Vitamin X:

HERE COMES THE REJECT!

::Soon, “Reject” Aaron Justin makes his entrance. Reject raises his hands to the crowd, but receives boos and “RE-JECT SUCKS! RE-JECT SUCKS!” chants. Reject, however, is not bothered by the chants, and gives the crowd the “UP YOURS!” sign and walks to the ring, slapping hands, but trash talking them at the same time.::

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

The first competitor, coming down the aisle. From New York City, New York, U.S.A. weighing in at 220 lbs. Representing Team OaOasT, “REJECT” AAAAAAROOONNNNNNNNNNN JUSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

::The crowd continues jeering him. Reject ignores the booing and continues walking to the ring with a determined look on his face. Some fans throw garbage in his direction.::

Vitamin X:

Reject and PRL have yet to have a match against each other. This will be the first time Reject and PRL will be in the ring at the same time, ever.

Spanish Fly:

Reject has made his mark on IntenseZone. It makes sense as to why he would be chosen to participate in this historic match-up.

Spanish Fly:

Reject is normally cheered in America, but in Puerto Rico, anyone who fights Puerto Rican Lightning is an enemy, so therefore Justin is getting heat tonight.

::”Reject” Aaron Justin enters the ring. Reject raises his arms once more, and receives boos. Reject flips the crowd off. He stands in the ring waiting for his partners. The crowd chants “REJECT SUCKS! REJECT SUCKS! REJECT SUCKS! REJECT SUCKS!” “Hate Me Now” by Nas and Puff Daddy dies down. The camera cuts to one of PRL’s little cousins booing Reject.::

Vitamin X:

Good to know the fans here know who to boo and who to cheer for!

::Suddenly, the lights go down in the arena, and “Trans-Magic” begins playing. The crowd stands up and boos again, some throwing garbage, chanting “K-SUCK! K-SUCK!” K-NESS walks through the curtain, not bothering to look at the crowd, with his signature towel around his neck as “Trans-Magic” continues playing.::

Spanish Fly:

BOO! K-NESS HAS RETURNED!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 221 lbs, from Samar, Philippines. Making his return to the ring representing Team OaOasT. He…IS…. K-NESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Vitamin X:

K-NESS is making his return to the ring tonight at The Battle of San Juan. PRL and K-NESS also have a history with each other. These two men had a mini-feud back in September. Some how, K-NESS became the OaOasT North American Champion, and at Dirty Deeds on September 28, 2003, PRL defeated K-NESS in a Last Man Standing Match to become the OaOasT North American Champion after a 6-month quest!

Spanish Fly:

K-NESS was just a fluke champion and PRL proved it back at Dirty Deeds. K-SUCK was no match for the power of P.R.! He knocked out the bastard. HE WON FAIR AND SQUARE and there was nothing the fans, or the OaOasT could do about it!

Vitamin X:

Yes indeed. PRL would go on to a 5-month reign as Champion, the first to do so in OaOasT history, before sadly losing the belt to The Shuffle at Anglepalooza.

Spanish Fly:

Anglepalooza was indeed a dark day in P.R. history.

::A single, blue spotlight follows K-NESS to the ring. The crowd continues booing as “Trans-Magic” continues playing. K-NESS does not look at the crowd but instead at the ring. He enters the ring and takes off his towel, then converses with Reject in one corner of the ring. The lights go back in the arena as “Trans-Magic” stops playing. A “K-SUCK! K-SUCK! K-SUCK! K-SUCK!” chant gets going. K-NESS and Reject continue conversing, ignoring the crowd.::

Vitamin X:

K-NESS and Reject are teaming up for the first time tonight. Bring out the next jabrony!

*I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States…of TEDDY!*

::”What’s My Name” by Snoop Doggy Dogg starts playing. RVD-style pyro explodes from the entrance. The crowd stands up and boo again.::

Vitamin X:

Who the hell is this?

Spanish Fly:

I believe it’s Teddy Weddy.

Mr. Boricua:

Teddy. Weddy. He’s. Funny! I. Like. Him!

Vitamin X:

Shut up, Boricua.

Spanish Fly:

Yeah, shut up!

::”What’s My Name” continues playing. Teddy Weddy along with J-Train and Gary Busey come out. The crowd boos loudly, but Teddy thinks he is being cheered. Teddy smiles and spins around, getting himself dizzy. J-Train directs him to the ring. Teddy, J-Train, and Busey dance to “What’s My Name” by Snoop Doggy Dogg, while the crowd boos and flip him off. J-Train and Gary Busey jaw with the fans with Teddy oblivious to it all.::

Ted Weddy:

I’m so glad to be in COLOMBIA!

J-Train:

We’re in Puerto Rico!

Teddy:

Whatever!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

Coming down the aisle. Accompanying to the ring by Gary Busey, and Julius “J-Train” Smokes. From Hollis, Maine, U.S.A. Weighing in at 390 lbs. Representing Team OaOasT. He is the self-proclaimed president of the United States of Teddy, TEDDDY WEDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Vitamin X:

I can’t believe the OaOasT has this fool! Who is he and why is he apart of this match?

Spanish Fly:

He originally was apart of HeldDown, but transferred to IntenseZone back in October. He has a ranking in the IZ-5, but other than that, he has done nothing of note besides having a match against Calvin Szechstein for the OaOasT World Title in the IZ from Japan back in November.

Vitamin X:

He must suck. If he didn’t, I would have heard of him by now.

Spanish Fly:

He is known for his outlandish promos, and all around weird attitude. He once proclaimed that Crystal was in a porno, but it turned out that he inserted clips of Crystal wrestling with some porn movie.

Vitamin X:

Hmmm. I wonder if he still has that porno.

Mr. Boricua:

Teddy. Is. Awesome! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Vitamin X:

Have you had your medicine yet, Boricua?

Mr. Boricua:

No.

::Teddy Weddy goes to PRL’s family and shakes hands with them. He disgusts them. PRL’s dad dusts himself off after being hugged by Weddy. PRL’s mom gets kissed by Teddy. She forces a fake smile, but wipes her right cheek. PRL’s little cousin hides behind his dad. Teddy walks into the ring and poses, but still receives boos. He thinks they are cheers, and dances. J-Train and Gary Busey exit the ring as Teddy, Reject, and K-NESS stand together. Reject and K-NESS shoot him odd looks, but regardless, chat with him.::

Vitamin X:

Someone should arrest Teddy! He just touched PRL’s family! HE SHOULD BE ARRESTED! HE KISSED PRL’s MOM! ARREST HIM! ARREST HIM!

Spanish Fly:

How dare he kiss PRL’s mom?

Mr. Boricua:

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Vitamin X:

Quiet you!

::”What’s My Name” by Snoop Doggy Dogg dies down. The crowd stands in anticipation since they know only one member of Team OaOasT is left! They begin booing in preparation. Teddy, K-NESS, and Jay Darring discuss the plans for the match.::

Vitamin X:

Come on! Bring out Mad Cappa! Bring him out! Let him come out! We want Cappa!

*1, 2,3! Hit It!*

::The opening trumpet blare of “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool starts playing. The crowd stands up…and BOOS~!!! Cappa gets the most amount of boos then anyone else on Team OaOasT.::

Vitamin X:

Here comes the dancing fool! HERE COMES MAD CAPPA!!!

::The lights go down in the arena, and spotlights circle the arena with the lights flickering on and off on the entrance. The crowd continues booing, although some are dancing to the song. Chants of “CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS!” The spotlights stop circling, and one single spotlight centers on the entrance where Mad Cappa’s back is shown. Cappa starts dancing, but is receiving boos non-stop.::

Vitamin X:

Well, this is an interesting situation. The Mad CRAPPA, use to having the idiot fans cheer his every move, is getting booed out of the building in Puerto Rico!

Spanish Fly:

This is great! Cappa must be so embarrassed!

::The Mad Cappa turns around and poses, hoping to get cheered, but is shocked by the booing. Cappa’s smile turns to a frown, as he wonders why they booed. Cappa poses again, but still gets more boos.::

Vitamin X:

Cappa, you moron! This is Puerto Rico. Puerto Rican Lightning’s home! THEY HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!

Spanish Fly:

Cappa doesn’t seem to understand that these fans are booing him for interjecting himself into P.R.’s life for no reason!

::The crowd continues booing and a very loud “CAP-PA SUCKS!” chant starts up. The Mad Cappa sneers and then saids “Fine! Be that way!” and he FLIPS THE CROWD THE MIDDLE FINGER! The Mad Cappa walks to the ring with a frown, slapping hands with the few fans who are willing to stick their hands out for Cappa to slap.::

Vitamin X:

Well, that was un-Cappa like behavior.

Spanish Fly:

Mad Cappa is letting the fans boos get him. He is letting them distract him! This is excellent!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

And the captain of Team OaOasT. Coming to the ring, weighing in at 185 lbs. From Washington, D.C., U.S.A. THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Vitamin X:

HA! HA! HA! These fans are booing him, showing their disgust for what he has done. He should have just gone away after PRL kicked his ass and crushed his larynx. But NO! He had to come back! He had to get pay back! He had to return! Now, he must suffer!

Spanish Fly:

Mad Cappa just does not get it! Geez!

Mr. Boricua:

I Hate. The. Mad. Cappa.

Vitamin X:

We all do, Mr. Boricua. We all do.

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” continues playing as The Mad Cappa circles the ringside area, slapping hands with the fans. One of P.R.’s cousins stands up and starts fightning with him, cursing him out. Cappa jaws with the cousin, which causes PRL’s dad to get in. This causes PRL’s uncle to get involved, and soon, PRL’s other cousin gets involved. Cappa flips them off and then enters the ring. He poses, without his smile, and still receives boos.::

Vitamin X:

The Mad Cappa has let the boos get to his head. He is in a bad, bad mood. And if he is in a bad mood, then he cannot concentrate. And if he cannot concentrate, then he will lose!

Spanish Fly:

Let’s pray that Cappa loses his focus!

X:

Amen.

::The Mad Cappa heads to his team and discusses the match with him. The Mad Cappa, “Reject” Aaron Justin, Teddy Weddy, and K-NESS discuss the match in one corner in the ring while the crowd boos and chants “CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS!” “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool dies down.::

Vitamin X:

HERE WE GO! IT’S PRL TIME! IT IS PRL TIME!

::There is silence for a few seconds. The crowd claps in unison, cheering loudly and chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” Puerto Rican flags are waved throughout the arena, and signs supporting PRL are shown. Team OaOasT ignores the chants and continue discussing the match. A sign saying “THE MAD CAPPA SUX!” With a red x across a picture of Mad Cappa is shown.::

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

And now, introducing the members of Team Lightning Crew!

::The crowd cheers. No music is played, but Cuban Wall comes out through the curtain. The crowd cheers Cuban Wall, who raises his right fist in the air and yells, “THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” He walks to the ring, with a sly smile, slapping hands with the fans. He points to Funkmaster Flex and Audioslave and Public Enemy, as he walks to the ring. He stares at Team OaOasT, sneering. The crowd chants “CUBAN WALL! CUBAN WALL! CUBAN WALL!” Wall stares at his opponents and enters the ring. He shadow boxes for a bit, and then raises his arms in the air to cheers. Wall smiles, goes to a turnbuckle, and poses receiving more cheers. Cuban Wall gets off the turnbuckle and shadow boxes for a bit.::

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 lbs. A member of Team Lightning Crew. He is the official muscle of the Lightning Crew. CUBANNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Vitamin X:

Alright-big guy! Come on Wall! Come on!

Spanish Fly:

Come on! Come on! You can do it!

Vitamin X:

Crush Team OaOasT, Wall! Crush ‘em! Crush ‘em!

Spanish Fly:

Let’s do it!

Vitamin X:

Let’s go big guy! Let’s go!

Mr. Boricua:

Go! Wall! Go! Wall! Go! Wall! GO!

::Cuban Wall stands in the ring looking at the crowd and then at Team OaOasT. He waits, when the lights go down in the arena. The crowd pops. No music is played, but PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member appears. He gets a slightly louder pop than Wall.::

Vitamin X:

And here comes member #2! We’re only 2 more members left from Puerto Rican Lightning! I can’t believe it!

Spanish Fly:

The roof shall blow off from this place!

::The camera cuts to one of PRL’s little cousins cheering for PROTOTYPE. A single spotlight shines on PROTOTYPE, who continues walking to the ring, slowly, not smiling, or looking at the crowd, but instead towards the ring. The crowd still cheers for PROTOTYPE. Several small “PROTO-TYPE! PROTO-TYPE! PROTO-TYPE! PROTO-TYPE!” chants are heard. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member looks directly into the ring, and climbs over the top rope. He stands with the single spotlight still on him.::

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

From parts unknown. Weighing in at 215 lbs. Standing 7-Foot 5. Representing Team Lightning Crew. PROTOTYPE: THE PERFECT LIGHTNING CREWW MEMBBBBBBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

::The lights go back in the arena as the crowd cheers. They become hotter and hotter awaiting PRL’s arrival. PROTOTYPE walks over to Cuban Wall and talks with him.::

Vitamin X:

What a rush. What a rush. I am getting more anxious and anxious by the second. When is he going to come out! I CANNOT WAIT FOR HIM TO COME!

Spanish Fly:

He’s almost here. All that is left is Colombian Heat. Then PRL will enter!

Vitamin X:

These fans are anxious. I can’t say I blame them! They’ve been waiting a month for this match to happen! This is going to be incredible! Unbelievable!

Mr. Boricua:

Where. Is. P.R.L.? Where. Is. He?

::Smoke fills the entrance. The crowd cheers loudly, with several chanting “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!” No music is played, but orange and red lights flicker in the entrance. The crowd stands up, giving Colombian Heat a standing ovation as he comes out. Colombian Heat is mesmerized by the cheering and by the life size posters of PRL and the Lightning Crew hanging by the sides of the entrance.::

Vitamin X:

YEAH! COLOMBIAN HEAT IS OUT HERE!

::Colombian Heat receives a pop louder than PROTOTYPE. Heat flashes his gang signs, and then gives a shout out to Flava Flav, who responds in kind. Wearing his wrestling attire, Colombian Heat dances and flashes gang signs, in between slapping hands with the fans, and smiling his cool, cocky smile.::

Flava Flav:

Come on, ya’ll! Give it up for Colombian Heat!

::The crowd gives Heat a standing ovation. He shouts and slides into the ring. He slides back out and high fives the fans at ringside including PRL’s family, Governor Calderon, and Mayor Santini. PRL’s cousins flash PRL gang signs; Heat yells out “YEAHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!” and enters the ring. He high fives PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, and Cuban Wall, who still hates him. Heat poses on the turnbuckle, flashing the gang signs, and receives cheers and “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!” chants. Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes and dances. He is ecstatic about the event.::

Vitamin X:

Colombian Heat cannot believe what is happening. Normally, I wouldn’t be surprised, but not this time. I can’t believe the crowd either. THEY LOVE US!

Spanish Fly:

This crowd is 100% Pro-Lightning Crew, and Pro-Puerto Rican Lightning. This is great. This is awesome!

Vitamin X:

And it is about to get better!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

From Bogotá, Colombia. Weighing in at 173 lbs. Representing Team Lightning Crew. He is the Second-In-Command of the Lightning Crew. COLOMBIANNNNNNN HEAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

::Colombian Heat is astounded by the crowd’s reaction. The crowd suddenly becomes hotter, hotter, and hotter. They stamp their feet in unison, getting faster, and faster. The crowd chants, “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” and cheer loudly. Several PRL signs are shown. PRL’s family stand up and cheer, with The Mad Cappa wondering why the fans love PRL.::

Vitamin X:

I’m getting a lump in my throat. CAN YOU FEEL IT? CAN YOU FEEL IT? FEEL THIS MOMENT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

Spanish Fly:

Here we go! Here we go! PRL is coming out! P.R. is coming out!

Mr. Boricua:

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

::The fans are ready to explode when GMC speaks again.::

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

And the captain of Team Lightning Crew.

Vitamin X:

YES!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

Accompanying to the ring by the first lady of the Lightning Crew, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Weighing in at 223 lbs. From SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO!!!

::Crowd pops.::

GMC:

He is the Puerto Rican Champion. The leader of the Lightning Crew. PUERTO RICANNNNNN LIGHTNNNNNNNNNNINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

Vitamin X:

YES! YES! YES! PRL IS COMING OUT! THIS MATCH IS OFF THE HOOK!

::The crowd cheers and chant “P.R.! P.R.!” A deep slow voiced man saids “LIGHTNING CREW.” The camera pans the crowd and then cuts to the stage. Brad Wilk is tapping the cymbals, while Flava Flav hypes the crowd up. Terminator X plays the classical intro for “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd.::

Flava Flav:

COME ON, YA’LL!!! GET OFF YOUR SEATS! IT IS TIME FOR PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING TO ENTER!

Professor Griff:

COME ON SAN JUAN!

Chuck D.:

Chance. Chance. Chance. Chance. Chance. Chance. Chance.

::A lightning bolt hits the entrance. Pyro explodes near the entrance ramp causing the crowd to EXPLODE~! The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron as smoke fills up the entranceway. Confetti falls from the rafters causing the crowd to cheer some more. Public Enemy and Audioslave begin their cover of “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd.::

Chuck D.:

No Chance. That’s what ya got!

Flava Flav:

HA! HA! YEAH! COME ON! COME ON!

Chuck D.:

We’re up against no machine too strong.

Crooked politicians buying souls for us are…

Public Enemy:

PUPPETS!

Professor Griff:

PUPPETS!

Chuck D.:

But will find

Their place

In Line!

::Alot and alot of pyro explode in the entranceway. The pyro finally ends, and then confetti falls from the top of the stadium. Finally, from the fog, enters Puerto Rican Lightning. The crowd screams and cheer for their hometown hero. PRL is wearing blue HBK-attire and a blue baseball cap backwards, and has a Puerto Rico flag tied behind him like a cape. He is also wearing his signature Puerto Rican flag facepaint across his face Sting-style. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez follows him with her hair down, wearing hoop earrings, a leather tanktop, a necklace, leather short shorts, and leather boots. The crowd chants “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” The Mad Cappa looks on in disgust as Puerto Rican Lightning spins around and smiles, slapping hands with the fans. He is carrying the Puerto Rican Championship belt. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez waves to the crowd, while PRL slaps hands with every fan down the entranceway.::

Chuck D.:

But will find

Their place

In line

Flava Flav:

In line, G!

Chuck D.:

But tie a string around your finger

Now boy cuz…

Cuz it’s just a matter of time.

Cuz you’ve got…NO CHANCE!

Flava Flav:

YOU’VE GOT NO CHANCE!

Public Enemy and Audioslave:

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

You’ve got…NO CHANCE!

Flava Flav:

YEAH! YEAH BOYYYYY!!!

Chuck D.:

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

::Puerto Rican Lightning walks to the stage and high fives Chuck D, Flava Flav, and Professor Griff. Lightning spins around, giving the camera enough time to cut to PRL’s family cheering him on, waving mini-Puerto Rican flags. Lightning does the HBK-pose, and pyro goes off behind him on the stage. The crowd explodes. PRL motions to Audioslave, and then exits the stage, continuing slapping hands with the fans, with a huge smile on his face. One side of the barricade becomes jammed up with people wanting to high five PRL, so the barricade breaks, and the people all spill out. PRL yells out “WOOO!”, but continues walking, smiling, with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez.::

Chuck D.:

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!

You’ve got…NO CHANCE!

Flava Flav:

You got no chance, boy!

Chuck D.:

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!

You’ve got…NO CHANCE!

Flava Flav:

NO CHANCE!

Public Enemy and Audioslave:

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!

Flava Flav:

NO CHANCE IN HELL! THAT’S RIGHT!

Chuck D.:

COME ON!

COME AND GET IT!

Flava Flav:

COME AND GET IT!

Chuck D.:

COME ON!

Professor Griff:

COME ON!!!

Chuck D.:

COME ON!

COME AND GET IT!

Flava Flav:

COME AND GET IT!

Chuck D.:

COME ON!

Professor Griff:

COME ON!

Chuck D.:

COME ON!

COME AND GET IT!

Flava Flav:

YO, COME ON!

Professor Griff:

COME ON!

Chuck D.:

COME ON!

COME AND GET IT!

NO CHANCE!

Professor Griff:

YOU’VE GOT NO CHANCE!

::Puerto Rican Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez continue walking to the ring. PRL slaps fives with the fans, continuing smiling and then heads to ringside. He shakes hands with Mayor Jose Santini and Governor Sila Calderon, and then heads to his family, and gives them hugs. He slaps hands with them also, and smiles. He heads into the ring, and spins around, causing the crowd to cheer him some more. Puerto Rican Lightning does the HBK-pose with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez behind him, and pyro goes off. The crowd explodes with even more cheers as Public Enemy and Audioslave continue their performance. Puerto Rican Lightning heads to a turnbuckle and poses with the Puerto Rican Championship belt to cheers, and then heads to another turnbuckle and poses with the belt a’la The Rock to huge cheers. He then gets off the turnbuckle and stands in the ring with the Lightning Crew to even more cheers, with Team OaOasT standing on the outside. PRL smiles and removes the baseball cap and HBK attire..::

Chuck D.:

NO CHANCE!

Flava Flav:

You’ve got…NO CHANCE!

Public Enemy and Audioslave:

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!

YOU’VE GOT…NO CHANCE!!!

Flava Flav:

Come on, come and get it!

Public Enemy and Audioslave:

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!

You’ve got…NO CHANCE!!!

Flava Flav:

GOT NO CHANCE!

Public Enemy and Audioslave:

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!

You’ve got…NO CHANCE!!!

Professor Griff:

COME ON SAN JUAN!

Public Enemy and Audioslave:

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!

Flava Flav:

COME ON!!!

::Fireworks explode in the stadium as Public Enemy and Audioslave stop their performance of “No Chance In Hell”. The crowd applauds Public Enemy and Audioslave.::

Chuck D.:

THANK YOU!

Flava Flav:

YEAHHHHHHHH BOOYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Vitamin X:

Wow. Just wow. What a performance. What a great performance. Public Enemy and Audioslave. Two of the very best. Give it up for them!

::The crowd continues cheering loudly. Puerto Rican Lightning smiles and takes off the Puerto Rico flag cape. The crowd stands up and give him a standing ovation. This goes on for a few minutes, with the crowd chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” PRL does the “We’re Not Worthy.” Sign while PRL’s family cheer him on. The Lightning Crew also takes part in the Standing Ovation causing PRL to become teary eyed. He mouths “Thank You. Thank You. Thank You So Much. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”::

Vitamin X:

What a great moment in professional wrestling history. This crowd, the Lightning Crew, showing Puerto Rican Lightning how much he means to them. This is truly great. Let’s stand up and contribute.

::Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, and Mr. Boricua stand up and applaud PRL. Signs across the stadium show their love for Puerto Rican Lightning. Lightning looks around and is amazed at the love. He smiles and yells out “YES!” 10 minutes later, the standing ovation ends. The crowd finally quiets down. PRL’s parents yell out “Let’s go son! Let’s go!”::

Vitamin X:

I have Goose bumps. I have a lump in my throat watching this. This is great. This is truly incredible. I love this! I TRULY LOVE THIS!

Funkmaster Flex:

All right. All right. Now, everyone, San Juan, Puerto Rico. Here to sing the Puerto Rico National Anthem. Put your hands together, for Puerto Rico’s very own. The world famous singer, MARC ANTHONY!

::Marc Anthony enters and waves hello the cheering crowd. He enters the ring and shakes hands with Puerto Rican Lightning. He grabs the microphone as the Lightning Crew, the crowd, Public Enemy, and Audioslave stand up, and put their right hands over their heart. The camera does a close-up of PRL, who has a solemn facial expression. The lights go down in the arena, except for two spotlights. One on Marc Anthony, and another on a Puerto Rico flag in the rafters. Music begins playing and Marc Anthony begins singing.::

Marc Anthony:

La tierra de Borinquén

Donde he nacido yo,

Es UN jardín florido

De mágico fulgor.

Un cielo siempre nítido

Le sirve de dosel

y dan arrullos plácidos

las olas a sus pies.

Cuando a sus playas llegó Colón;

Exclamó lleno de admiración;

"Oh!, oh!, oh!, esta es la linda

tierra que busco yo".

Es Borinquén la hija,

la hija del mar y el sol,

del mar y el sol,

del mar y el sol.

::Before Marc Anthony begins the English version of the song, a flag starts to unravel in the rafters in on top of the entrance. Puerto Rican Lightning is shown singing along with the national anthem. The flag is revealed to be a Puerto Rico flag, with Puerto Rican Lightning painted on it. P.R. is shown grunting, with his body a chiseled physique, different from the one he has, since the body in the painting is very muscular. He is shown posing with a spotlight centered on the flag. PRL is shocked at the flag, but smiles and kisses Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. He jumps up and down, as the crowd applauds Marc Anthony. He begins singing the English version of the song.::

Marc Anthony:

The Earth de Borinquén

Where I have been born,

Is a flowerily garden of fulgor magician

A always-clear sky serves

As canopy and give to

Placid arrullos

The waves to him on its feet

When at his beaches Columbus arrived;

He exclaimed full of admiration

“Oh, Oh, Oh this is the pretty earth

that I look for.”

It is Borinquén the daughter,

The daughter of the sea and the sun

The sea, and the sun,

The sea and the sun,

The sea and the sun!!!!

::Fireworks explode from the corners of the entrance. Fireworks explode over the stadium roof. The crowd cheers. PRL and The Lightning Crew give Marc Anthony a standing ovation. Marc Anthony smiles and bows, blowing kisses to the crowd.::

Marc Anthony:

Thank You, San Juan! Gracias!

::Puerto Rican Lightning holds the ropes for Marc Anthony to leave. He waves to the crowd, slapping hands with several fans. The crowd continues cheering as Team Lightning Crew and Team OaOasT stare at each other. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez gives PRL a kiss for luck.::

Vitamin X:

What a great performance of the National Anthem. That was awesome. Marc Anthony is a talented singer, and that was a beautiful singing of the Puerto Rico National Anthem. Best I’ve ever heard. And what a great flag hanging in the entryway.

::The crowd becomes excited once again as Thomas Rodriguez checks on Team Lightning Crew and Team OaOasT.::

Vitamin X:

This match is about to get underway.

Spanish Fly:

Oh boy. Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!

Mr. Boricua:

YEAH!

Vitamin X:

Referee Thomas Rodriguez calling for the bell and we are underway!

*DING DING DING*

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

Main Event: 8-Man Tag Team Match:

Team OaOasT (The Mad Cappa, “Reject” Aaron Justin, K-NESS, and Teddy Weddy)

Vs.

Team Lightning Crew (Puerto Rican Lightning w/Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Colombian Heat, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, and Cuban Wall):

The crowd explodes. They chant, “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” as Puerto Rican Lightning and Colombian Heat do rock-paper-scissors. Rock beats scissors, so PRL is the first to go in. He receives high fives from the three LC members. “Reject” Aaron Justin shakes hands with the three OaOasT members. PRL and Reject get into a staredown.

Vitamin X:

Listen to this crowd. They’re chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” This is great. The crowd is 100% Puerto Rican Lightning tonight!

Puerto Rican Lightning and “Reject” Aaron Justin trash talk each other. PRL goes for the punch, but Reject blocks him, and begins beating on Puerto Rican Lightning with lefts and rights causing the crowd to boo. Some even chant “ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!” Reject whips PRL into the ropes, but PRL fights back by doing leapfrog over Reject, follow by a reverse leapfrog. He follows with an arm-drag causing the crowd to pop loudly.

Vitamin X:

Incredible moves by Puerto Rican Lightning! Only PRL can leap high enough!

Spanish Fly:

PRL now in control and the crowd loves every minute of it!

Puerto Rican Lightning beats on Aaron Justin on the mat, slamming his head repeatedly to the crowd’s delight. P.R. gets up and poses, and the crowd CHEERS~! Tha Puerto Rican grabs Reject and lifts him for the Vertical Suplex. He has him up in the air for a few seconds, causing the crowd to clap some more and cheer. PRL poses with Reject up in the air, he then does the “You Can’t See Me!” hand signal, and brings him down with the Vertical Suplex.

Vitamin X:

Wow, just incredible. Just awesome! Puerto Rican Lightning, look at his power. Holding Reject up for such a long time and then bringing him down with the Vertical Suplex. What an incredible move!

Spanish Fly:

Only P.R. could be that powerful.

Puerto Rican Lightning tags in PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. PRL orders PROTOTYPE to do something. PROTOTYPE, who is wearing baggy jean shorts, black kneepads, and sneakers, pumps up his sneakers. The crowd cheers and stands up, as PRL and PROTOTYPE head to opposite ropes, and both come down with the Five Knuckle Shuffle at the same time on “Reject” Aaron Justin’s face.

Vitamin X:

Double Five-Knuckle Shuffle!

Spanish Fly:

Great move from Puerto Rican Lightning and PROTOTYPE!!!

Mr. Boricua:

YEA!

The crowd is still buzzing, cheering loudly and chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member grabs Reject and lifts him up for the double chokehold. Normally, a referee would order PROTOTYPE to stop, but since Thomas Rodriguez is the referee, PROTOTYPE continues. Team OaOasT complains, but Thomas ignores them. PROTOTYPE slams Reject back down and goes for the cover.

1…

2…

KICK OUT!

Vitamin X:

Damnit! Just damnit! Reject kicks out!

Spanish Fly:

PROTOTYPE continuing the beating on Reject.

Vitamin X:

PROTOTYPE picks up Justin and is hitting him with European Uppercuts. PROTOTYPE whipping Reject into the ropes, and hits him with the Bossman Slam. He goes for another cover, and gets the count of two.

PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member beats on Reject some more. He whips him into the ropes, and goes for the massive clothesline, but Reject ducks, and fires back with the spinning heel kick. It causes PROTOTYPE to shake, but he still stands up. “Reject” Aaron Justin heads to the ropes again and goes for the spinning wheel kick. He hits it, but PROTOTYPE still stands. Reject is shocked, so he grabs PROTOTYPE, kicks him in the gut…but PROTOTYPE catches him, so Reject hits him with an enzuguri bringing the big man down.

Vitamin X:

WHAT THE? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS!

Spanish Fly:

REJECT JUST ENZUGURI THE 7-FOOT 5 215 LB PROTOTYPE!!!

Mr. Boricua:

AAAHHH!

Vitamin X:

That move must have taken all the energy out of Aaron Justin because now he is on the mat breathing hard.

PROTOTYPE gets up and tags in Cuban Wall. The crowd cheers as Wall rushes over to Reject before he can get up and kicks him repeatedly. The crowd cheers loudly as Cuban Wall picks up Reject and whips him into a turnbuckle. He follows with an avalanche. He whips Reject into the other turnbuckle, but before he can go for another avalanche, Reject lifts his right boot up, and it hits Wall Square in the face. Reject heads to the top rope…and comes down with a standing kick from the top rope. Wall does not go down, so he tries again. He still doesn’t go down. Reject heads to the ropes, Wall tries for a clothesline, but Justin ducks and gives Cuban Wall the 2-1-2. The crowd boos loudly. Reject jaws with the fans, and then heads to the ropes. Rolling Thunder onto Cuban Wall. Cover.

1…

2…

KICK OUT!!!

The crowd applauds.

Vitamin X:

And Cuban Wall gets up right after the Rolling Thunder.

Spanish Fly:

Come on Wall. Beat up on Reject!

The crowd starts chanting “REJECT SUCKS! REJECT SUCKS! RE-JECT SUCKS! RE-JECT SUCKS!” causing Reject to jaw with the fans and flip them off. He headbutts Cuban Wall and then grabs him, sending him to the Team OaOasT corner. He stomps a mudhole in him and tags in Teddy Weddy.

Vitamin X:

And now Teddy Weddy is going to get his licks in. I fear for Cuban Wall’s safety going up against this clown.

Teddy Weddy yells out gibberish as he punches Cuban Wall repeatedly. Teddy and Reject whip Wall into the ropes, and give him both a flying reverse elbow. Teddy goes for the cover, but it gets two.

Spanish Fly:

Come on Wall. Don’t let Weddy make you look like a retard. Beat on him! KICK HIS ASS!

Mr. Boricua:

I. Like. Teddy Weddy. He. Rules. YEA!

Vitamin X:

::GRUNTS::

Teddy does the boot scrape on Wall causing the crowd to boo him some more. Teddy continues to think they are cheering him, so he stops to pose and dance.

Vitamin X:

What an idiot.

Teddy goes over to Wall, but Wall low blows him, in clear view of Thomas Rodriguez and gets cheered. Wall kicks Weddy in the gut several times, in between jawing with him. The crowd cheers and chants “LET’S GO WALL! LET’S GO WALL! LET’S GO WALL! LET’S GO WALL!” Cuban Wall lifts Teddy up and gives him the Death Valley Driver. He goes for the cover.

1…

2…

Thre—KICK OUT!

Vitamin X:

DAMNIT!

Cuban Wall waits for Teddy to get up. When he does, Wall gives him the enzuguri. Wall chokes Teddy on the mat, with Thomas Rodriguez ignoring the obvious cheating. Wall heads over to Colombian Heat and tags him in getting a loud face pop.

Vitamin X:

And Colombian Heat is now coming in the match!

Spanish Fly:

Colombian Heat has the speed advantage. He is SO going to take the fat bastard down.

The crowd stands up and cheers, as Colombian Heat gets on top of Cuban Wall’s shoulders.

Vitamin X:

What is he going to do now?

Colombian Heat leaps off Cuban Wall and goes for the Straight From Da Street (Sky Twister Press). Teddy Weddy moves out of the way, and Heat hits the mat hard causing the crowd to groan.

Vitamin X:

OUCH! THAT HAD TO HURT!

Spanish Fly:

Teddy Weddy escaped the Straight From Da Street just in the nick of time!

Mr. Boricua:

I. Hope. Mr. Boricua. Is. Okay. I. Like. Heat.

Vitamin X:

As J.R. might say “BAWD GAWD~! THE IMPACT!”

Spanish Fly:

This looks like a slobberknocker, folks!

The crowd stamps their feet in unison, urging Colombian Heat to get up. Teddy Weddy lies on the mat, crawling to the Team OaOasT corner. He tags in K-NESS.

Vitamin X:

And now K-NESS gets a chance to compete in this match-up. K-NESS attacking Colombian Heat, not allowing him to get up.

K-NESS picks up Colombian Heat and jams several elbows into his kidneys. K-NESS lifts Heat up for the High Angle Exploder. He goes for the cover.

1…

2…

KICK OUT!!!

K-NESS heads to the top rope. The crowd boos loudly, but K-NESS ignores them and comes off the top with a kneedrop. He goes for the cover. It gets a slow two count. K-NESS argues with Thomas Rodriguez about the count, but Rodriguez argues that the count was not too slow.

Vitamin X:

Thomas Rodriguez is being unbiased tonight. That was NOT a slow count. That was a fair count. Rodriguez is calling this match down the middle despite his allegiance to the Lightning Crew.

Dragon Screw Leg whip on Colombian Heat. K-NESS goes for the Sharpshooter, which causes the crowd to start screaming, but luckily, Colombian Heat is able to escape by kicking K-NESS in his jaw. The camera cuts to PRL’s family who is cheering Colombian Heat on. The camera then zooms on Governor Calderon and Mayor Santini who are watching the match intently. K-NESS picks up the dazed Heat and gives him a Backdrop Suplex. He follows with another Backdrop Suplex. And another. And another. And another. K-NESS goes for one more, but Colombian Heat flips over K-NESS, grabs his neck…and gives him the Gangsta Slam.

Vitamin X:

Colombian Heat has escaped the Rolling Backdrop Suplexes and is now back in this match-up.

Spanish Fly:

COME ON HEAT! WHIP HIS CANDY ASS!

The crowd begins chanting “CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS!” very, very loudly. The Mad Cappa sneers at the crowd, flipping the fans off at ringside. He jaws with the fans, as K-NESS picks up Heat and chops him several times. K-NESS whips Colombian Heat to the ropes, and gives him the Western Lariat. K-NESS goes for the cover.

1…

2…

Three-NO!!! KICK OUT!!!

K-NESS becomes frustrated, and curses at Heat. He goes for another cover that also gets two. Jugigatame on K-NESS.

Vitamin X:

K-NESS goes for the cover. 1! 2! HE KICKED OUT! NO HE DIDN’T! NO! YES HE DID!

Team OaOasT cheers K-NESS on as K-NESS slugs it out with Colombian Heat. K-NESS whips Heat into the ropes and gives him the drop toehold. He goes for the Ganso STF, but Heat escapes. K-NESS and Heat begin chain wrestling with each other. K-NESS goes for a hiptoss, but Heat reverses, gets behind K-NESS, and gives him the Get Crunk’d Up (Full Nelson Slam). Colombian Heat covers K-NESS.

1…

2…

Reject elbows Heat on the head stopping the count just in time. The crowd boos very, very loudly. “K-SUCK! K-SUCK!”

Vitamin X:

Reject just saved K-NESS from an obvious pinfall by Colombian Heat!

Spanish Fly:

Thomas Rodriguez should have stopped Reject from interfering damnit!

K-NESS and Colombian Heat lie on the mat crawling to their corners to get the tag. Puerto Rican Lightning holds his hand out, as the crowd claps in unison chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” Colombian Heat inches closer and closer to Team Lightning Crew’s corner, while K-NESS inches closer and closer to Team OaOasT’s corner.

Vitamin X:

WHO IS GOING TO MAKE THE HOT TAG FIRST? WHO? WHO?!!!

Spanish Fly:

COME ON COLOMBIAN HEAT!

The crowd holds its collective breath as K-NESS makes the tag to Reject. However, Heat makes the tag a quick second later to Puerto Rican Lightning and the crowd explodes.

Vitamin X:

ALL RIGHT!!! HERE WE GO! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING IS IN THE MATCH NOW! THINGS ARE GOING TO PICK UP!!! PRL IS GOING TO BLOW THE ROOF OFF THIS JOINT!

Tha Puerto Rican is charged up, pointing to the crowd, and jumping up and down. He slugs it out with “Reject” Aaron Justin to the crowd’s delight. PRL whips Justin into the ropes…and follows with a flying clothesline. P.R. beats on Aaron Justin some more, and then whips him into the ropes again, giving him a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. PRL goes for the cover.

1…

2…

Three—The Mad Cappa kicks PRL in the head stopping the count. The crowd boos.

Vitamin X:

That bastard! Stopping the count! And the people LIKE The Mad Cappa!?

PRL is a little dazed following the kick to the head. Reject kicks PRL in the face repeatedly and then lifts him up for a snap suplex. Reject follows with a standing moonsault. He then heads to the second rope and does a springboard moonsault. Reject then heads to the top rope…and does a third moonsault completing the Triple Play.

Vitamin X:

Reject has just completed Elix Skipper’s Triple Play, and is going for the cover. 1! 2! KICK OUT!

Mr. Boricua:

Lets. Go. P.R.! Lets. Go. P.R.! Lets. Go. P.R.!

Reject heads to the top rope and does a split-legged moonsault onto PRL. He gets a count of two. K-NESS gets tagged back in. Justin and K-NESS whip P.R. into the ropes…but PRL ducks their double clothesline again and hits his own double flying clothesline. The crowd gives P.R. a loud pop.

Vitamin X:

Tha Puerto Rican now in control of K-NESS. Dangerous DDT! P.R. with the Dangerous DDT on K-SUCK!

Tha Puerto Rican whips K-NESS into the ropes, and lifts him up, giving him a Samoan drop. He goes for the cover. 1, 2, KICK OUT at 2.999999999.

Vitamin X:

Puerto Rican Lightning now hammering K-NESS with European Uppercuts. Whips him into the ropes. Edge-O-Matic! The cover! 1! 2! Three? He kicked out!

P.R. Lightning picks up K-NESS and whips him into the Team OaOasT corner. PRL follows with a Stinger Splash to a big pop. P.R.L. then whips K-NESS into the Team Lightning Crew corner, and gives him another Stinger Splash. Tha Puerto Rican stomps a mudhole in K-NESS. He then tags in Colombian Heat and he joins in. Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member join in, and the 4 Lightning Crew members stomp a mudhole in K-NESS with Thomas Rodriguez looking on. The crowd is rabid, enjoying the beatdown.

Vitamin X:

Look at this! Look at this! Team Lightning Crew laying it into K-SUCK and the crowd loves it!

Spanish Fly:

K-SUCK is trapped. 4-on-1. This is awesome! THIS IS GREAT!

Mr. Boricua:

HA! HA! HA! HA!

The crowd chants “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” The camera cuts to The Mad Cappa begging for K-NESS to come to his corner. The camera then cuts to Governor Calderon watching the match. Colombian Heat elbows K-NESS in the corner. He delivers a Piledriver on him and goes for the cover. It gets two. Colombian Heat heads to the ropes and hits the Where The Hood At? Rolling Thunder on K-NESS for another two count. Colombian Heat stops and poses, flashing some more gang signs, which get more face pops. Heat yells out “YEAHHHHHHH BOOYYYYYYYY!” to a loud pop, and then heads back to K-NESS. He picks him up…and delivers the Pimp Juice (Flatliner). Heat picks K-NESS up again and slaps him in his face. The crowd likes what they are seeing. Heat places K-NESS between his legs, and signals to the crowd that he is going for the Fatal Mistake. Heat lifts up K-NESS and runs around the ring with him. However, K-NESS places his legs on Colombian Heat’s head, and brings him down with a hurricarana. He goes for the cover. 1, 2! And Colombian Heat kicks out. K-NESS does a leg stretch to boos, and applies the Wakigatame. Heat screams in pain as the Fujiwara arm-bar is applied on his right arm. Thomas Rodriguez checks on Heat, although half-heartily.

Vitamin X:

That arm-bar is locked in real tight on Colombian Heat. The crowd starts to come alive, hoping that Heat can get out of this hold.

The camera does a close-up on Colombian Heat’s face, which shows a pained expression. K-NESS lets go of the hold and punches Heat in the face. He applies a headlock on Heat.

Vitamin X:

K-NESS using the basic wrestling ground-n-pound style that has won him matches before including the match against “Shooter” Jay Darring for the North American Title.

Spanish Fly:

A belt that PRL would soon win by the way, becoming the longest reigning North American Champion in OaOasT history, by the way!

Colombian Heat starts to get up with the headlock still applied. He elbows K-NESS in the gut several times, but escaping the headlock. However, K-NESS fires with several close-fisted punches, and places Heat in between his legs. The crowd stands up and boos as K-NESS lifts Colombian Heat…and gives him the Release Tiger Suplex ’85.

Vitamin X:

THE RELEASE TIGER SUPLEX ’85! THERE IT IS! K-NESS’ FINISHING MOVE! HE HAS HIT HIS FINISHING MOVE ON COLOMBIAN HEAT!

Spanish Fly:

OH NO! OH NO! OH GOD NO! KICK OUT! KICK OUT! DAMNIT HEAT KICK OUT!!!

The crowd boos loudly as K-NESS crawls over to Colombian Heat and covers him. Thomas Rodriguez makes the count.

1…

2…

Three!!! NO!!! Puerto Rican Lightning pulls K-NESS from Heat.

Vitamin X:

And Puerto Rican Lightning makes the save!

Spanish Fly:

PHEW!

K-NESS and Puerto Rican Lightning brawl. Reject joins in the brawl, which causes Cuban Wall to follow. This causes Teddy Weddy to come in, which causes PROTOTYPE to enter the brawl. Puerto Rican Lightning, K-NESS, Cuban Wall, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, “Reject” Aaron Justin, and Teddy Weddy brawl in the ring with Thomas Rodriguez having trouble breaking it up. The crowd goes crazy.

Vitamin X:

WE GOT A PIER-SIX BRAWL GOING ON IN THE RING!

Spanish Fly:

AND THE CROWD LOVES THIS! BUT WAIT A MINUTE? WHAT IS THE MAD CAPPA DOING?

The Mad Cappa enters the ring and throws Colombian Heat over the top rope. The camera cuts to Cappa on the outside. Heat crawls, so Cappa kicks him in the gut. The Mad Cappa shoves the ring announcer off his chair, and grabs it, slamming it across Heat’s back. He does it again, and then picks him up and whips him into a ringpost. The crowd boos loudly and chants “CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS!” TMC jaws with the crowd and picks up Heat. He slams his head onto the barricade where PRL’s family is sitting. He jaws with his family. Suddenly, one of PRL’s cousins, Scott, shoves Cappa. TMC shoves him back, and the two get into a shoving contest. PRL’s father steps in, and then gets into it with The Mad Cappa.

Vitamin X:

Now look at this! The Mad Cappa is now getting himself involved with PRL’s family! It’s bad enough he has to bother Puerto Rican Lightning. Now he is going after his family! WHAT KIND OF MAN IS THE MAD CAPPA? GETTING INTO IT WITH PRL’S FATHER?

Spanish Fly:

I DO NOT KNOW!

Mr. Boricua:

I. HATE. THE. MAD. CAPPA!!!

Colombian Heat lies on the floor. Thomas Rodriguez calls for medical attention as the rest of the wrestlers head to their respective corners.

Vitamin X:

Well now, Colombian Heat is receiving medical attention. The brawl has stopped in the ring, and now The Mad Cappa is going after Puerto Rican Lightning’s family!

Suddenly, Cuban Wall grabs The Mad Cappa and throws him into the ring. The Mad Cappa tries to brawl with Wall, but Team Lightning Crew joins Cappa in the attack. Cappa falls to the mat, while Team Lightning Crew beats on The Mad Cappa to the crowd’s delight. The crowd chants “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” as The Mad Cappa escapes the beatdown.

Vitamin X:

Oh yeah! This is what I’m talking about! CRAPPA is getting his ass kicked by the Lightning Crew once again! Excellent! Simply excellent!

Spanish Fly:

Yes. Yes. BEAT HIM UP! KICK THE MAD CRAPPA’S ASS! HAA!!! HAHA!

Vitamin X:

The Mad Cappa escapes the beatdown, but now he has to go one-on-one with PROTOTYPE. PROJECT: CAPPA KILLER!

Team Lightning Crew and Team OaOasT leave the ring except for The Mad Cappa and PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. They circle each other. PROTOTYPE goes after Cappa, but Cappa ducks and punches PROTOTYPE two times. He dances; drawing more boos, and then hits PROTOTYPE with the IMPACT. PROTOTYPE is still standing, so TMC beats on PROTOTYPE and whips him into a turnbuckle. However, PROTOTYPE reverses, but The Mad Cappa jumps to the turnbuckle, and leaps off with a Side Swinging Moonsault. But PROTOTYPE catches him and prepares to give him a shoulder breaker. However, The Mad Cappa escapes, grabs PROTOTYPE’S head, and brings him down with a reverse DDT to boos. TMC goes for the cover.

1…

2…

Puerto Rican Lightning pulls Cappa off PROTOTYPE. The two start brawling causing the crowd to cheer very, very loudly. However, TMC gets the advantage, and goes for the BUST A CAP. However, PRL escapes, and The Mad Cappa follows PRL out of the ring.

Vitamin X:

The Mad Cappa is chasing Puerto Rican Lightning around the ring. Cappa is not leaving PRL alone. He is making him suffer. He’s doing this so that PRL gets tired out and Cappa can win!

Spanish Fly:

Get into the ring. Get into the ring!

Puerto Rican Lightning enters the ring and heads to the Team Lightning Crew corner. Mad Cappa tries to go after him, but Thomas Rodriguez holds Cappa back. Cappa yells out biased, but Thomas orders Cappa to head to his corner. PROTOTYPE tags in Cuban Wall, while The Mad Cappa, hesitant, tags in K-NESS. K-NESS and Cuban Wall immediately slug it out.

Vitamin X:

The technical K-NESS now taking on the brawler Cuban Wall.

Cuban Wall gets the advantage and whips him into the ropes. Wall does a double-armed DDT onto K-NESS and goes for the cover. It gets two. Wall follows it up with elbow drops and two legdrops. He waits for K-NESS to get up. Wall hits the shining wizard and goes for another cover.

1…

2…

KICK OUT!!!

Cuban Wall grabs K-NESS and whips him into the Team OaOasT corner. Wall follows with an avalanche, and then punches Mad Cappa and Teddy Weddy. During this time, K-NESS made the tag to “Reject” Aaron Justin, so Reject enters the ring. Wall and Reject engage in a staredown, with Justin asking for a test of strength. Wall obliges, and the two are in a test of strength with the crowd rooting for Cuban Wall the whole time.

Vitamin X:

Reject is really stupid for asking for a test of strength. Doesn’t he know that Wall is 1,000 times more powerful than he is?

Spanish Fly:

No one ever proclaimed Reject to be the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Cuban Wall gets the advantage and brings Reject to his knees. Wall follows with a Belly-To-Back Suplex, which causes the crowd to groan, then cheer. Wall poses for the crowd and receives cheers. Wall yells out “THAT’S RIGHT!” and then tags in Puerto Rican Lightning. The crowd explodes. PRL and Cuban Wall grab Reject and whip him into the ropes. They punch Reject in the gut, and give him a double face slam. Wall tells P.R. to head to the top rope. PRL obliges. He climbs the top rope, which causes the crowd to stand up and cheer. The crowd goes crazy as P.R. Lightning removes his left elbow pad and throws it to the crowd. He blows a kiss to the crowd and smiles, and then leaps off the top rope with the F.U. Elbow Drop onto “Reject” Aaron Justin to a loud pop.

Vitamin X:

What an incredible move from Puerto Rican Lightning. The F.U. Elbow Drop. What a great, great move!

Spanish Fly:

Way to go, Puerto Rican Lightning! That was simply amazing! That was simply incredible!

Mr. Boricua:

YEA!

Puerto Rican Lightning yells out “THAT’S HOW A GOOD GUY DOES IT!” and then covers Reject.

1…

2…

KICK OUT!!!

Vitamin X:

DAMNIT! Reject kicked out right in the nick of time!

Spanish Fly:

I don’t believe it! That move should have put Reject away!

The crowd and Tha Puerto Rican are shocked. PRL heads to the top rope again…but suddenly The Mad Cappa rushes towards PRL and bounces the ropes causing PRL to lose his balance and crotch himself on the top rope. The crowd boos loudly.

Vitamin X:

NOW COME ON! THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT! THE MAD CAPPA JUST CROTCHED PRL ON THE TOP ROPE! WE ARE SEEING A NEW SIDE OF THE MAD CAPPA TONIGHT!

Spanish Fly:

The Mad CRAPPA is having his hatred of Puerto Rican Lightning get to him. He is doing the opposite of what he usually does in an attempt to take him out in his hometown of San Juan, Puerto Rico!

Mr. Boricua:

GRRRRRR!!!

Vitamin X:

This is terrible!

PRL slumps to the mat. Reject gets up and whips PRL to another turnbuckle. P.R. does the Flair Flip onto the ring apron. PRL stops to smile and point to his head reminding the fans how smart he is. However, The Mad Cappa runs into him, sending PRL onto the floor. The crowd boos very, very loudly and chants “CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS!” TMC spits in the fan’s direction. The camera cuts to members of PRL’s family booing The Mad Cappa.

Vitamin X:

I feel awful for PRL’s family. Having to witness their son getting sneak attacked by The Mad Cappa! And now Reject tags in Teddy Weddy.

Teddy Weddy squeals for some reason, and throws PRL back into the ring. By now, PRL’s face paint is ½ gone. He is breathing heavily and sweating profusely. He is dazed, tired, and in pain. Teddy Weddy beats on PRL in the ring. Teddy Weddy beats on PRL, dances, and then gives him the Bionic Elbow. Weddy picks up P.R. and then gives him an American Backbreaker. He goes for the cover. It gets a two count.

Vitamin X:

Ugh.

Teddy Weddy applies the “Pop Some Wood” Chinlock on PRL. The crowd claps their hands in unison and chant “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” Teddy screams out “TIGHKSHAHDKF!!!”

Vitamin X:

Listen to this crowd. Chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” They want their hero to get up. They want him to win. They want him to beat on Teddy Weddy!

Suddenly, PRL gets up with the Chinlock still applied. PRL elbows Teddy, but Teddy grabs him and gives him a reverse suplex. The crowd boos loudly as Teddy grabs PRL and gives him a X-Factor. Teddy goes for the cover.

1…

2…

Thre—KICK OUT!!!

Teddy yells out “Ref, DISQUALFICATION! DISQUALFICATION!” to Thomas Rodriguez, but Thomas yells that he counted fair and square. Weddy picks up Lightning and whips him into the turnbuckle. Weddy follows by stomping a mudhole in him. Teddy then heads to the opposite turnbuckle, runs, and gives Puerto Rican Lightning a broncobuster.

Vitamin X:

Gross! PRL just got broncobusted by Teddy Weddy!

Spanish Fly:

Ill.

Teddy gets up and smiles. He yells out “MY BLOOD, MY BLOOD! MY FLESH, MY FLESH!” The crowd boos Teddy loudly and chants “TED-DY SUCKS! TED-DY SUCKS! TED-DY SUCKS! TED-DY SUCKS!” Weddy still thinks that he is being cheered, so he saids “Thank You! Thank You all!” Suddenly, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member enters the ring and gives Teddy the “You Can’t See Me” Full Nelson Slam to a loud pop.

Vitamin X:

YEA! BOO-YAH! THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! PROTOTYPE just attacked Teddy Weddy!

Spanish Fly:

HA! HA! HA!

The Mad Cappa beats on PROTOTYPE, while PRL gets up and does a Russian Legsweep on Teddy for two. PRL tags in Cuban Wall, and grabs Cappa and starts beating on him. Thomas Rodriguez has trouble keeping order, but the crowd doesn’t care since they are cheering. PRL clotheslines The Mad Cappa over the top rope and they begin brawling to the entrance. Meanwhile, Cuban Wall is beating on Teddy Weddy, until Weddy low blows Cuban Wall.

Vitamin X:

The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning are now brawling down the aisle, while Cuban Wall and Teddy Weddy are brawling in the ring.

PRL and TMC continue brawling down the entranceway with neither man getting the full advantage. The crowd is still hyper cheering and booing, and chanting “P.R.!” and “CAP-PA SUCKS!” PRL and Cappa head to the entrance. PRL whips Cappa into one of the pillars holding the PRL banner. Cappa hits his head and a *ding* sound is heard the moment his head hits the pillar. The crowd cheers as PRL whips Cappa into one of the pillars holding the Lightning Crew banner, however Cappa reverses and PRL’s back hits the pillar. The two men continue brawling through the banner and into the stage. Meanwhile, in the ring, K-NESS gets tagged in and beats up on Cuban Wall. K-NESS whips Cuban Wall into a turnbuckle, but K-NESS hits the turnbuckle sternum first, and Wall continues with a bulldog. Wall goes for the cover. It gets two. Wall heads to the top rope. Before he can do anything, Reject bounces the ropes causing Wall to get crotched on the top rope. K-NESS jumps back up…and superplexes Cuban Wall onto the mat causing the crowd to groan. Cuban Wall and K-NESS lie in the mat, breathing heavily, sweating, and tired and in pain. K-NESS crawls over to Cuban Wall and goes for the cover. It gets a two count. Wall and K-NESS lie on the mat.

Meanwhile, Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa have made their way to the stage. Public Enemy and Audioslave have exited the stage, allowing PRL and Mad Cappa to use all the instruments for their choosing. PRL grabs Tom Morello’s guitar and slams it across Cappa’s back. Cappa grabs one of the records from Terminator X’s turntables, while PRL grabs one of the cymbals from Brad Wilk’s drumset. PRL and Cappa aim for each other, and hit each other at the same time dropping the cymbal and the record. PRL and Mad Cappa lie on the stage with the crowd cheering PRL’s every move. PRL grabs Wilk’s drumsticks, and plays them on Cappa’s back to the crowd’s cheers. PRL twirls them and then throws them into Cappa’s face. PRL grabs one of the drums and smashes it across Cappa’s back. PRL leaves the stage with Cappa following. They continue brawling, with the crowd chanting “CAP-PA SUCKS!” PRL grabs Cappa’s head and rams him into the Funkmaster Flex’s turntable. PRL grabs one of the records and breaks it over Cappa’s head. PRL picks up Cappa and whips him into one of the barricades. He tries again, but Cappa reverses, and PRL hits the barricade. The Mad Cappa beats on Puerto Rican Lightning in the entranceway.

Vitamin X:

Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa continue brawling. There is nothing going on in the ring. Everyone is paying attention to the outside!

Spanish Fly:

PRL and Cappa have taken equal shots at each other. Neither man has been able to gain the upper hand.

Mr. Boricua:

Go, PRL! GO! GO PRL GO! GO!

Vitamin X:

The Mad Cappa is now dragging PRL down to ringside. Now come on! This is not right! This is not right at all! Come on now Cappa! Come on P.R.! Kick his ass!

The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning continue beating each other up. The Mad Cappa drags PRL down to ringside and punches him repeatedly in the face. The crowd is hyper and urging Lightning to get up. They begin chanting “CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS!” as The Mad Cappa heads over to where Governor Sila Calderon and Mayor Jose Santini are sitting and beats P.R. up in front of them. Governor Calderon and Mayor Santini have uncomfortable expressions on their face as P.R. holds onto the barricade for support. Cappa continues beating on PRL to the crowds boos. Mad Cappa jaws with the fans and spits in their direction. A cup full of beer is thrown in Cappa’s direction. Several pieces of garbage hit Mad Cappa, but he continues beating on PRL. By now ¾ of his face paint is gone. Cappa whips PRL into the barricade and beats on him some more with a look of rage on his face. He screams and stomps a mudhole in him. Cappa chokes PRL with a cable. TMC drags PRL by his now long hair to where PRL’s family is sitting. He trash talks P.R.’s family, who trash talks back. Cappa beats on PRL, in between trash talking PRL’s family.

Vitamin X:

Now come on! This is not right! This is not right! What a sign of disrespect! Trash talking Tha Puerto Rican’s family!

Spanish Fly:

That man is a damn cad. He has no morals. He has no manners. He is just a street thug. He is a ghetto-dancing loser! The Mad CRAPPA should be ashamed of himself!

Vitamin X:

What kind of behavior is this? The Mad Cappa is showing his true colors tonight!

The Mad Cappa continues beating on Puerto Rican Lightning in between trash talking members of P.R.’s family. Suddenly, Cappa lands a left jab in PRL’s cousin, John’s, face. The crowd yells out “OH!” and John, furious, starts brawling with The Mad Cappa. The crowd cheers loudly as John leaps over the barricade and brawls with Cappa.

Vitamin X:

OH MY GOD! ONE OF PRL’S COUSINS IS GETTING INTO IT WITH THE MAD CAPPA!

Spanish Fly:

THAT BASTARD CAPPA! TAKING A SHOT A MEMBER OF PRL’S FAMILY! THAT HAS GOT TO PISS HIM OFF!

Vitamin X:

KICK HIS ASS! BEAT UP THE MAD CAPPA! BEAT HIM UP!!!

John and TMC continue brawling. The crowd is going crazy, when suddenly; PRL elbows Cappa’s neck and whips him into the stairs. John is furious and has to have the rest of PRL’s family calm him down. John sits down once again, while Lightning throws The Mad Cappa back into the ring.

Vitamin X:

I DON’T BELIEVE THAT THE MAD CAPPA WOULD STOOP THIS LOW!

Spanish Fly:

THE MAD CRAPPA HAS LOST ANY RESPECT I MAY HAVE HAD FOR HIM TONIGHT!

Mr. Boricua:

I. HATE. THE. MAD. CRAPPA!!!

Vitamin X:

Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa are back in the ring, and the crowd is rabid once again.

The crowd continues chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” PRL’s family is rooting for him louder this time as Puerto Rican Lightning and Cappa slug it out once again. Cappa gets the advantage and whips PRL into the ropes. However, PRL reverses and nails a spinebuster onto Mad Cappa in the center of the ring.

Vitamin X:

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS! YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!

The crowd goes crazy. They stand up and cheer as P.R. looks at the crowd and gets in position to deliver the Puerto Rico Elbow. He removes his right elbow pad and throws it to the crowd.

Vitamin X:

10,050 PUERTO RICANS ARE NOW ON THEIR FEET!!!

Tha Puerto Rican does some hand signals and bounces off the ropes. He leaps over The Mad Cappa, and bounces off the other ropes.

Vitamin X:

IT IS NOW TIME FOR THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING—NOT SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT, THE PUERTO RICO ELBOW!

PRL dances to mock Mad Cappa, and hits the Puerto Rico Elbow to a loud, loud pop.

Vitamin X:

THE ELBOW CONNECTS! THE ELBOW CONNECTS! THE PUERTO RICO ELBOW CONNECTS!

PRL picks up Cappa and whips him into the ropes. He follows with the Flying Forearm. The crowd cheers loudly as they know what is coming up next. PRL smiles and then picks up The Mad Cappa and whips him into the ropes again. Cappa goes for a clothesline, but PRL ducks, and follows with a second flying forearm.

Vitamin X:

It is showtime! It is showtime! PRL is setting up for the Sweet Chin Music. He is setting up the P.R. Nightmare! Lightning hits a third Flying Forearm.

Spanish Fly:

HERE WE GO!

Puerto Rican Lightning picks up The Mad Cappa and whips him into the ropes, but Cappa reveres, however PRL reverses and hits him with a fourth Flying Forearm. PRL lies on the mat for a second…but then kips up.

Vitamin X:

THE KIP-UP! HE KIPPED UP!!! HE KIPPED UP!!!

The crowd explodes with cheers as Tha Puerto Rican jumps up and down and yells at the crowd. He slaps his forehead 4 times and rips off his white sleeveless Lightning Crew t-shirt revealing a Puerto Rico flag tattooed onto his chest. P.R.’s facepaint is completely gone. He has matted hair. He is sweating, breathing heavily, and is sneering at The Mad Cappa. Team Lightning Crew cheers PRL on as he heads to a turnbuckle, and stomps his right boot several times a’la Shawn Michaels. PRL sneers at Cappa, who is slowly getting up.

Vitamin X:

And the crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican is setting up for the Sweet Chin Music! The move that sets up for the P.R. Nightmare!!! The Mad Cappa is slowly getting up, having no idea what he is about to face!!!

PRL continues stomping his right foot on the mat as The Mad Cappa gets on one knee. The crowd counts along with each stomp as Team OaOasT tries to help Mad Cappa. Lightning yells out “COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!!” 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. PRL sneers as The Mad Cappa, tired and dazed and confused gets up.

Vitamin X:

HERE IT COMES! THE SWEET CHIN MUSIC! IT IS ALMOST HERE!!!

Spanish Fly:

PRL IS TUNING UP THE BAND!!! HE IS GETTING READY TO DELIVER THE SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!!

The crowd chants “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” with PRL’s family. They stand up and cheer as The Mad Cappa gets up, tired. P.R. yells and goes toward Cappa for the Sweet Chin Music.

Vitamin X:

Here we go!

Tha Puerto Rican lifts his right foot out and goes for the Sweet Chin Music…but The Mad Cappa catches the foot. The crowd boos. PRL is in shock. TMC brings P.R. down and jaws with the fans. He spits in their direction, and then flips the middle finger in PRL’s family’s direction. John stands up, but PRL’s father tells him to sit back down. The Mad Cappa turns P.R. over and applies the Walls of Cappa on Tha Puerto Rican.

Vitamin X:

IT’S THE WALLS OF CAPPA! THE WALLS OF CAPPA! THE MAD CAPPA HAS APPLIED THE WALLS OF CAPPA ON PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING! OH MY GOD!

Mr. Boricua:

AAHHHHH!!!

The crowd is going crazy, hoping that PRL does not tap out. Thomas Rodriguez tells Cappa that he is not the legal man, but Cappa does not listen. Thomas keeps trying to tell Cappa, but he ignores him. Team OaOasT and Team Lightning Crew going insane. PRL inches closer and closer to the ropes, but Mad Cappa pulls him back. The crowd reaches a fever pitch as PRL continues screaming with the camera switching between close-ups of P.R. in pain, and PRL’s family worrying.

Vitamin X:

THE WALLS OF CAPPA IS LOCKED IN! BUT PRL AND CAPPA ARE NOT THE LEGAL MEN!!! IT WILL NOT MATTER IF PRL TAPS OUT!!! THE MATCH MUST CONTINUE! CUBAN WALL AND K-NESS ARE THE LEGAL MEN!!!

Spanish Fly:

THAT IS CORRECT! THIS WILL NOT COUNT! THE MAD CAPPA WILL NOT WIN EVEN IF PRL TAPS OUT!!! IT WILL NOT COUNT!!!

Suddenly, Cuban Wall clotheslines Cappa off of PRL. The crowd breathes a huge sigh of relief as PRL is released off the Walls of Cappa. Cuban Wall beats on Cappa, but Cappa tags in K-NESS, and the two begin brawling. The crowd cheers again as Colombian Heat walks back to the ring.

Vitamin X:

COLOMBIAN HEAT HAS RETURNED!

Colombian Heat stands on the ring apron and orders that he get tag. Cuban Wall looks at the crowd. The crowd orders that Wall tags. Wall smiles and tags in Colombian Heat to a big pop. Colombian Heat attacks K-NESS and forces him into a turnbuckle. K-NESS tags in Mad Cappa and the two begin brawling.

Vitamin X:

This match has been going on for 20+ minutes. Fatigue must be setting in. You have to believe that these two teams are exhausted from this contest.

The Mad Cappa and Colombian Heat continue brawling. Heat whips Cappa into the ropes, and puts his head down. Cappa stops, knees Cappa in the face, turns him around, kicks him in the gut, and goes for the BUST A CAP. However, Cappa escapes, does the hand signal for the Colombian Necktie, spins Cappa around, kicks him in the gut, spins him around again, grabs him, and lifts him up in the air. The crowd cheers loudly as Colombian Heat screams out loud and gives The Mad Cappa the Colombian Necktie to a loud pop.

Vitamin X:

THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE! THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE! COLOMBIAN HEAT HAS JUST HIT THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE ON THE MAD CAPPA!!!

Colombian Heat covers The Mad Cappa.

1…

2…

2 ½

2 2/2

2 2/3

2.9999999999999999999999999999

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*DING DING DING*

Vitamin X:

YES! YES! YES!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

The winner of this match, TEAM LIGHTNING CREW: CUBAN WALL, PROTOTYPE: THE PERFECT LIGHTNING CREW MEMBER, COLOMBIAN HEAT, AND PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNNNINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

Vitamin X:

The Lightning Crew comes out victorious at Battle of San Juan!

Spanish Fly:

Way to go, PRL!

Mr. Boricua:

YEA! GO. PRL! GO! PRL! GO! P.R.! GO!

::Public Enemy and Audioslave start playing “No Chance In Hell” again. The crowd is cheering loudly and chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” Colombian Heat and The Mad Cappa lie on the mat. Confetti drops from the stadium roof. Thomas Rodriguez raises Colombian Heat’s right arm with a smile on his face. Fireworks shoot from the entrance as the camera cuts to PRL’s family applauding Team Lightning Crew. The camera than cuts to Governor Sila Calderon and Mayor Jose Santini giving Team Lightning Crew a standing ovation.::

Vitamin X:

The match last exactly 24:36 and it was incredible every minute! PRL ends Battle of San Juan on a high note, defeating Team OaOasT led by The Mad Cappa and looking good in front of 10,050 of his fellow Puerto Ricans, his family, the governor of Puerto Rico, the mayor of San Juan, Public Enemy, Audioslave, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez!

Spanish Fly:

Colombian Heat defeated The Mad Cappa 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring fair and square! I wonder how Cappa is going to feel about that tomorrow morning! Cappa JUST LOST TO COLOMBIAN HEAT!

Vitamin X:

WHAT A GREAT MATCH! THE LIGHTNING CREW WINS!

::Public Enemy and Audioslave continue playing “No Chance In Hell” without singing. The Mad Cappa slowly leaves the ring with “Reject” Aaron Justin, K-NESS, and Teddy Weddy, who are all sad and disappointed. Teddy thinks he has won, but J-Train and Gary Busey keep telling him that he has lost. Weddy soon gets it through his head and starts crying. Team OaOasT slowly walks to the entrance, with the fans chanting “CAP-PA SUCKS! CAP-PA SUCKS!” Cappa gets into it with several fans at ringside, but they soon leave. Teddy is crying his eyes out, and then stands in the entrance raising his arms in victory, until J-Train and Gary Busey force him through the curtain. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Puerto Rican Lightning lifts up Colombian Heat and lets him know that they won. Both PRL and Heat are fatigued; sweating, breathing hard, and walking slowly. P.R. keeps trying to convince Heat that they won, and soon Heat accepts it and hugs PRL to the crowd’s delight. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez enters the ring and hugs and kisses both P.R.L. and Heat.::

Vitamin X:

How lucky must PRL feel to share one of his greatest moments with his girl and his best friend? PRL is the luckiest man on the face of the Earth tonight! He won in front of 10,050 of his fellow Puerto Ricans, the Governor of Puerto Rico, the Mayor of San Juan, and his family.

Spanish Fly:

I’m going out there to celebrate. Mr. Boricua let’s go!

Mr. Boricua:

YEAH!

::Spanish Fly and Mr. Boricua put down their headsets and head to the ring. The fans are still cheering and screaming loudly chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R!” while Spanish Fly and Mr. Boricua enter the ring and congratulate Puerto Rican Lightning. Mr. Boricua hands the Puerto Rican Championship, and Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez get their arms raised in victory by Mr. Boricua and Spanish Fly to a loud pop. Colombian Heat dances to “No Chance In Hell” and flashes some gang signs to cheers. PRL and Heat do their secret handshake and hug. Suddenly, The Mad Cappa appears on the entranceway. The crowd starts booing loudly. The Lightning Crew’s smiles fade away as Cappa stands in the entranceway with a furious look on his face staring a hole into Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL and Cappa engage in a staredown, with Cappa saying “I WILL GET YOU! I WILL GET YOU! I WILL GET YOU!” PRL and Cappa engage in a staredown, until Cappa leaves.::

Vitamin X:

YEAH! YOU LEAVE YOU COWARD! THAT’S RIGHT! GO AWAY! COLOMBIAN HEAT JUST KICKED YOUR ASS AND SOON PRL WILL SEND YOU AWAY FOREVER! GO AWAY YOU BASTARD! THAT’S RIGHT! PRL WILL KICK YOUR ASS NEXT TIME! AND NEXT TIME IT WILL BE ONE-ON-ONE! LEAVE YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!

::Puerto Rican Lightning, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Colombian Heat, Thomas Rodriguez, Cuban Wall, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, Spanish Fly, and Mr. Boricua stand in the ring. PRL is holding the Puerto Rican Championship and has a smile a mile wide on his face. He points to the crowd and smiles as many Puerto Rico flags are waved and cheers are heard. PRL heads to the turnbuckle and raises the Puerto Rican Championship belts to loud cheers. He then points to his family and urges them to get in the ring. His family is hesitant at first, but after much urging, PRL holds the ropes for them to enter.::

Funkmaster Flex:

EVERYONE, YA’LL GIVE IT UP FOR PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!

Flava Flav:

COME ON SAN JUAN! GET YOUR HANDS UP!!!

Professor Griff:

PUT ‘EM UP!!!

::With “No Chance In Hell” still being played by Public Enemy and Audioslave, Tha Puerto Rican’s family enters the ring one by one. P.R. holds the ropes for them with a huge smile on his face.::

Vitamin X:

What a great guy P.R. is! Inviting his family into the ring with him to celebrate. What a courteous gentlemen he is. There is his mom, his dad. The two people who created the magnificent being we see today. There are his grandparents. His 4 aunts and his 5 uncles. His cousins: John, Scott, Natasha, Zach, Shelby, Drew, Angelique, David, and Charlie. They’re all here. They’re all here taking part in this momentous occasion. They’re all here sharing this moment with Tha Puerto Rican. What a great moment in Puerto Rican history!

::Tha Puerto Rican hugs his family members, who then greet the rest of the Lightning Crew. Colombian Heat holds up David as the lights go down in the arena. Spotlights circle the ring as the camera pans the crowd, showing a sea of Puerto Rico flags. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK pose with Zach, Drew, Shelby, Angelique and David. Fireworks appear at the top of the coliseum in Roberto Clemente Coliseum. The crowd continues chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” with PRL smiling and chanting with them.::

Vitamin X:

Oh lord. Oh lord. What a great moment. What a great match. What an awesome night. One of the greatest nights in Puerto Rican Lightning’s life. The night ends with PRL on top with his family. Way to go, P.R.! Way to go! What a historic night! The night is over! I gotta go join in on this! Thank you all for tuning in to The Battle of San Juan. The IntenseZone from San Juan, Puerto Rico. For Thomas Rodriguez, Mr. Boricua, Colombian Heat, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, myself, Puerto Rican Lightning, and the members of Puerto Rican Lightning’s family, good night, God Bless, and we’ll be seeing you all next week for another exciting edition of OaOasT IntenseZone with Puerto Rican Lightning!!!

::Vitamin X puts his headset down and heads to the ring. Puerto Rican Lightning does the HBK pose with the Puerto Rican Championship belt over his left shoulder. Fireworks are still shooting in the sky as the lights go back in the arena. Governor Sila Calderon and Mayor Jose Santini are shown giving PRL a standing ovation with huge smiles on their faces. Charlie waves a giant Puerto Rico flag to loud, loud cheers. PRL is holding David. He puts David on Colombian Heat's shoulders as Vitamin X enters the ring and congratulates P.R. He also has a huge smile on his face.::

Crowd:

P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!

::Zach, Drew, Shelby, Angelique, and David wave mini-Puerto Rico flags in the air. PRL checks on John to see if he is okay. Colombian Heat plays with, and ances with PRL's cousins. PRL flashes gang signs with Angelique. Natasha hands PRL his Puerto Rico flag cape, which PRL accepts with pride. He puts the cape around his neck again and shouts “BORICUA!!!” to the crowd’s delight. PRL gives his belt to Mr. Boricua and picks up Angelique. He places his blue baseball cap on her, and gives her a Puerto Rican Lightning t-shirt. She waves a little Puerto Rico flag and hugs and kisses P.R., who has a huge smile on his face. He hugs her and then does the HBK pose with Angelique sitting on top of his right shoulder, the two of them smiling wide smiles. PRL screams as pyro shoots out from the turnbuckles and the crowd cheers loudly. PRL’s family and the Lightning Crew stand in the ring and applaud him while PRL does the HBK pose with Angelique on his right shoulder. Pyro continues to shoot out as the camera does a wide shot of Roberto Clemente Coliseum and Governor Calderon and Mayor Santini applauding. The last shot is of the ring with Puerto Rican Lightning, The Lightning Crew, and Puerto Rican Lightning’s family celebrating with wide smiles on their faces.::

::Video package highlighting the events of The Battle of San Juan to the tune of “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd.::

::We fade out as the crowd chants “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” and “No Chance In Hell” is no longer played by Public Enemy and Audioslave.::

::FADE TO BLACK::

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

The disappearance is explained...

A purpose is made clear.

Nothing is an Afterthought anymore.

"SHOOTER" JAY DARRING

RETURNS

INTENSEZEONE- NEXT WEEK

::END OF SHOW::

Ed Wood Caulfield · February 12, 2004

Thanks for letting me post the show! I really appeciate it! I have spent the past 24 hours working on this show, so I hope you enjoy it! But I didn't do all of it on my own:

Credits:

Director

The #1 MST3K Mark

Producer

The #1 MST3K Mark

Writers

The #1 MST3K Mark (8 Man Tag Team Match. Intro. Opening Ceramony. AngleMania III countdown Ad. Public Enemy and Audioslave performance. Lightning Crew segments. PRL tribute video.)

Mystery Eskimo (Shuffle vs. Stephen Joseph OaOasT North American Title Match with "Ice Heart" Dan Black as the special guest referee)

Stephen "Big Poppa Popick" Joseph (Stephen Joseph promo)

Tony149 (Classic Anglesault moment segment)

DusktillDawn ("Shooter" Jay Darring return promo)

OaOasT IntenseZone: Lightning Crew: The Battle of San Juan logo created by

Papacita

Lightning Crew member photos coutersy of WWE.Com

OaOasT created by

Anglesault

corbainwasmurdered

Tony149

::The screen turns to shades of blue, orange, and red. The Lightning Crew logo appears at the bottom of the screen with LightningCrew.Com underneath it. In scratchy white letters, read these words, narrated by a man with a high whispering raspy voice: THE PRECEEDING SHOW WAS ORGAINIZED, PAID FOR, AND PRODUCED BY THE LIGHTNING CREW.::

OAOAST IntenseZone: The Battle Of San Juan!!!

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