Breaking News on the Howard Dean Disappearance

[Guest AP Newswire]

REMAINS OF HOWARD DEAN FOUND IN NORTHERN VERMONT, THOSE WHO MADE DISCOVERY INCARCERATED

The location outside of Richford, Vermont where the tattered remains of Dean were discovered.

RICHFORD, THURSDAY - In a particularly grisly discovery, a pair of motorists who had stopped on the side of highway 139 between Richford and the Canadian border to stretch and make sure their documentation was in order for a border crossing found the remains of former Vermont governor Howard Dean mere yards from their car.

 

"There was an awful smell," said Michael Thompson, 29. "We went over to the edge of the woods, where we found that some trees had been knocked over, and found what looked like some animal remains or something."

 

That something was the skin and muscles of Howard Dean, identified only by the teeth that were left at the scene as well. Police have ventured to say that the former presidential candidate was attacked by animals, but could offer no explanation as to how Governor Dean vanished in the first place or, perhaps more importantly, where his bones could be.

 

"I thought it was an animal carcass because there weren't any bones around," said Danielle Thompson.

 

Shortly after their comments were given to the gathered press, they were arrested for marijuana possession when police searched their car as a pre-emptive border search. Some others were jailed as well for suggesting to the police that they were arresting the Thompsons so they could get more information, several getting into loud arguments and later coming to blows with police. The state of Vermont has clearly been shaken by this mysterious and tragic event.

 

(The Associated Press assisted in this report.)

[Youth N Asia 0]

I give the gimmick a 2.5/10

[Use Your Illusion 0]

You're feeling generous today, YNA?

[Sandman9000 0]

That's not where I left his remains at all.

 

Someone needs to double check their facts.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

please stop Anglesault.

[Youth N Asia 0]

You're feeling generous today, YNA?

No, it's just not great.

 

ABOBO gets 9/10

*shurgs shoulders and leaves* gets a 6/10

and so on

 

Someone had a great Police Officer gimmick. He would just make absurd posts about a case that would happen every now and then. Sadly he only made a few posts/

[Guest Anglesault]

please stop Anglesault.

It's not me.

 

And YNA, AP Newswire is not a gimmick. It's a great news reporting name that several of the board's best posters (And Kotz) have used well.