PROMO: Hijinx Afoot

[Guest Evolution]

“Cameraman! Over here!”

 

John Duran is in the hallways backstage behind the Staples Center, hours before the PPV. He’s hailing a cameraman because he has a special message for a certain someone.

 

“Gus, I’ve called you over only because I want to give a special message to a certain someone.” Duran pauses. “You do know that you’re still a douchebag with a camera after this, right?”

 

The camera shakes up and down, as Gus is obviously nodding.

 

“Alright, where to start?”

 

Duran ponders for a moment as ring crew members pass him.

 

“Mark Stevens, I know you’re holding me down. You want to be unbiased in your job as commissioner, but you just can’t do it! You find it necessary to keep me from achieving my goals, and the goals of the Unnamed as well! You let people like Jamie Drazon and Ann Onita return to this fed and automatically get shots to become the superstars they could never become the first few times they were here!”

 

A smile crawls across Duran’s face and his tone turns into one that sounds like his advisor, James Matheson. “What makes you think this time will be any different for Mr. Drazon and Ms. Onita? Why do you insist on not letting your real talent take the center stage? Because I’m the real talent, Stevens. And you’re smothering me by putting me in impossible matches.”

 

The smile fades and Duran begins to look stressed. “I mean, you put me in a match against Terrence Bailey! That enough is reason for me to start writing my will! You will never understand, Mark. You don’t understand that Bailey is gone upstairs. There’s nothing left. In place of his brain he has these two…personalities. One is ‘good,’ and one is ‘evil.’”

 

“The fact is that what Terrence considers ‘evil’ is only him being evil enough to entertain the fans. He doesn’t know what it takes to have that bad streak anymore. He just wants to hurt people, and ever since he joined that two-bit organization called the Unholy Trinity, he’s been misguided by people like Danny Williams--a quitter who couldn’t come back because his poor neck hurt, after he tried to make us believe that he was tough as nails,”

 

“Dace Night--a man who I wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley but I’d be glad to meet in a ring because he doesn’t have half the skills that I possess,”

 

“And Aecas--a guy who carries around a potted plant, for chrissake. He’s loonier than Janus is! And yet you still allow this match to go on. And then what do you next, Mark? You put us in a cage! What is your deal, Mark? Do you want one of your best workers to die?” Duran puts his hands on the camera, as if the camera is to be the neck of our beloved Commissioner.

 

“Mark, if you want me gone, fire me. Don’t put me in the ring so I can be a sideshow for those god damn fans.”

 

Duran releases his grip on the camera, trying to calm himself. “It’ll be fine though, Mark. Because I’m going to get you back. Tonight will be my night to shine. You see, I was worrying about the whole cage stipulation. But when they added weapons, I suddenly got an idea!”

 

“It’s going to be fun, Mark. It’ll keep the butts in the seats. As for Terrence…I don’t think he’ll like it.”

 

…Another pause.

 

…

 

“…But Janus will.”

 

Duran smiles and then turns to walk away as the camera fades to black.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Oooooh, nice promo. It starts with a cool "conspiracy victim" vibe and then goes into pure DURAN EVILUTION!

[Toxxic 0]

Nice - Duran pushing for a run at the World Title following his defeat of Janus, perhaps?