Raw VS SmackDown!

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Excuse the lack of punctuation - as you can plainly see has come straight out of a Word document, which has come straight out of an MSN Hotmail window.

 

The final stop on the Road to WrestleMania!

 

Raw VS SmackDown!

By iB

12/03/04-13/03/04

12:07:50

 

 

This is 'Raw VS SmackDown!' for the 12/03/04-13/03/04 - I'm Beau, and I will be your host this weekend!

 

 

The Shooters Forums Quote/s of the Week:

 

"This may just be me but I wouldn't be pissed with that arrangement. Whoa, only the youngest WWE Champion ever!

 

If he walks because he had to lose to Eddie who has busted his ass for years to get to the top and because he would have to go down to the longest running gimmick in the history of the WWF/E then he can go and get fucked.

 

Talent or not if he thinks that way he can shove it!"

 

- PrezBen

 

"Fuck - a red x in a white box. What a subscription!"

 

- Apollo Creed

 

TIC Forums Quote of the Week:

 

 

"I was sent this... I didn't write it, I'm just sharing; and as you know, sharing is caring.

 

Look at this star * Now look at this star * You read

that in a second, but for me there was 45 minutes between

each star when I wrote it because I hate typing. We all

hate typing. That's why people make all these little

abbreviations all over the internet to make things shorter.

Like "lmao" "lol" "g2g" "brb" "lmfao" I aint breaking em'

down either, you know what the fuck they mean bitch. But

there are lesser known abbreviations, and that's what this

newsletter is about. So, for the uninformed, prepare to

get next schooled.

 

ISBUMDA I shoot blanks up my dad's ass

IHHSITM I have heart surgery in the morning

ABBBTBC arrest black babies before they become criminals

LMFAO laughing my fucking ass off

WICOACGBHILLAMICC when I cum on a cancer girl's bald

head, it looks like a melting ice cream cone

F5R I love toast

IPTWTHYHBISW2FY I'll pretend to want to hold your hand

but I secretly want to fuck you

RSAY reality shows are yes

ANBMCAYCBALHB aint nothing between my cock and your

cunt but a little hymen bitch

RIALMUIHTYYFA Rape isn't a laughing matter unless it

happens to you you fucking asshole

LESTIATAWMD Let's eat something that I'm allergic to and

watch me die

CAJAWM cops are just assholes with mustaches

DYLTMS do you listen to Mathew Sweet?

EMIHBO excuse me, I have ball odor

 

Now, a little more about this Passion of the thing thing. Who

cares if the jews nailed jesus. He was a bad carpenter, so we nailed

his pretty ass to teach him a lesson in the fine art of human carpentry.

But so what, the jews of today weren't involved. They don't even

like hammering. They won't even hammer up a picture of christ. And

you know what, that little faggot bitch ass cock tease christ wouldn't

let people suck his dick back then, so who can blame the eskimos for

putting him up there so they could drink his sperm straw with the

greatest of ease. It's just a little hard S & M, so just leave the

pygmies alone. And if you are still reading this and you are a female in the

NYC area and want to date a 29 year oldwriter of fine literature (one of us)

then write back."

 

- Tweek

 

 

Here we are, folks! The final shows before the big day! Can Raw and SmackDown! cut it? Will these shows be off the hook heading into the most famous event of all time? Should those questions even need be asked?

 

 

This is WWE Raw for the 12/03/04 here in Australia, and the 08/03/04 in the United States of America, LIVE from The Arena at the Harbor Yard in Bridgeport, CT - Your Announcers are Jim "J.R." Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler

 

 

Very nice opening segment to kick us off this evening.

 

Here you go, folks. This is it before Kane VS The Undertaker. I tell you what, if the main hype of this match didn't rely on The Undertaker's return as The Dead Man, then I'd be mightily pissed at the fact that they've been hyping this damn thing for 5 months without him even being on television.

 

But then again, if he were being kept off because he already was The Dead Man, there'd be no anticipation, and it just flat-out wouldn't make sense - and if he wasn't returning as The Dead Man, ditto.

 

At least even WWE went out of their way here to build this one, what with the props of an urn, a casket containing dirt and a mobile ring.

 

The eery music and lighting obviously played quite a part here in putting over this feud's theme - and I like it.

 

Kane is just humerous on the mic, but his time was needed - showing his obvious fear toward his 'Brother', but still showing his frustration by having the guts to smash up a coffin and an urn.

 

Probably the best that they could do without the face himself, and and without coming off as idiots (no comment).

 

***3/4

 

WWE's Slam of the Week shows The Rock's return last week on Raw!

 

And tonight, The Rock, this time, presents Mick Foley with 'This Is Your Life'!

 

At least the Main Event segment was hyped throughout the program.

 

Match 1: 8-Man Tag Team match: La Resistance and Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade VS WWE World Tag Team Champions Rob Van Dam & Booker T and The Dudley Boyz

 

Engertic opener here on the part of all eight men. Match-wise, a wise decision for an opener - it gets the crowd pumped (the general consensus of an opener), and it was interesting to see the way that Jindrak and Cade are once again being pushed as the heels. Giving them the win was obviously the right decision.

 

WrestleMania-wise, this was much better build than SmackDown! gave us for it's Tag Team Championship match on Sunday, but this still isn't good enough - although even if the division had gone off the hook tonight, it would have seemed out of place (not unlike the post-match heel bicker-fit), and too little, too late.

 

***1/4

 

Not a bad backstage segment to hype Chris Jericho VS Christian at WrestleMania here.

 

The main problem that I had with it was the fact that while Jericho "spoke to Trish on the phone," it seemed as if he was too wrapped-up in his relationship with her to the extent of trivialising his WrestleMania match.

 

Christian sneaking-up in the background was a great effect, as was the quick and easy beat-down. I was expecting a verbal confrontation.

 

And still, I like the way that Trish is being used for this feud - and I don't mean to sound like a chauvenist ass when I say that - I simply mean that she is intensifying the feud between the two, which is the way that she started out anyway.

 

But this and Christian giving Steven Richards a win over Jericho later on is most fucking definitely not enough hype heading into 'Mania - even though I did like the segment itself, as I said before - too little, too late.

 

***3/4

 

I thought that Christian might have actually been getting some confidence about himself instead of repeatedly backing down, but he decides to flee the arena in a limousine instead.

 

*1/2

 

Now, if that pizza box isn't a blatant WrestleMania XX plug, then I don't know what is.

 

This is the first time that I've seen Todd Grisham - and it appears as if he's just like Josh Matthews, Marc Lloyd, the old Coachman, Michael Cole and just about every other backstage reporter.

 

Nothing too special here - a very standard promo from the World Tag Team Champions, almost defeating the whole purpose of the opener's match result.

 

*1/2

 

Of course, Mick Foley presenting The Rock with 'This Is Your Life' from September '99 was going to make it onto the show.

 

The segment itself was awesome - I'm obviously not going to rate the vignette itself.

 

And indeed, what a 'trip down Memory Lane' it was to hear some of The Rock's old colloquialisms.

 

*****

 

Great backstage segment with The Rock here - just struttin' around the backstage area like he owns the place (now, if it were Triple H, I would've corrected myself). The Rock and The Hurricane were hilarious in early 2003, and this one wasn't too bad itself.

 

Nice way to get The Rock over at the expense of Jonathan Coachman - and once again, I thought they fired this guy?

 

The piece obviously wasn't as funny with Rosey there as it would've been one on with, Johnsons and Helms, but we can't always get what we want - and the objective was achieved.

 

It got the two super heros over momentarily heading into a meaningless match with 3/4 of Evolution.

 

***3/4

 

Match 2: A 3-on-2 Handicap match: 3/4 of Evolution - Randy Orton, Ric Flair and Batista, obviously - VS The Hurricane and Rosey

 

Whether I've said this or not before, as I was writing just WHO the 3/4 of Evolution were, I thought back to when it could've been Triple H in there - obviously not facing these two, but when Evolution were the ones involved in Triple H's feuds, and it was Evolution as a whole, and not just their fearless patriarch - at least the rest of Evolution (I can see why 3/4 of them are referred to wholely as Evolution collectively - but 1/2 is just not excusable) are actually showing their full strength by getting feuds of their own.

 

While being next to a squash, the actual wrestling in the match wasn't horrible for what we did see of it.

 

But - it was about a minute and a half long, give or take. What did you expect?

 

Nice little post-match promo.

 

** and **1/2, respectively.

 

Great video package detailing Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels VS Randy Orton and Batista last week on Raw to lead us into...

 

(****1/4)

 

Match 3: Chris Benoit VS Matt Hardy V1.0

 

Nice little piece of work here. Nothing out of the ordinary, just some good, solid wrestling. If these two were given due time and reason to do so, they could compose some GREAT ring music.

 

At least Matt is getting on television, as is plainly obvious to everyone watching, Raw is giving Matt a royal screw-job. If you paid special attention here, you can plainly tell that Matt is just itching to be in that ring more.

 

No one fan in the world doubted the result - and I take you into the post-match promo.

 

***

 

In what may seem un-important to some, I liked the way that Ross just got up and went down to the ring, and the way that Benoit looked before the break.

 

Nothing ground-breaking here, just a good, solid promo.

 

Everyone knew that we'd see at least one of Chris' WrestleMania opponents at this time, namely Shawn Michaels.

 

The little alliance that these two seem to be forming is GREAT, as it would be great in turning Michaels after WrestleMania, but I can't see that in the cards anymore.

 

Yeah, everything pretty much rocked up to here, until Triple H was forced to fuck the whole thing up. I mean, what's wrong with the faces actually being the ones to get some momentum roaring into WrestleMania? Instead of revolving the heat between the three men, every time that the two faces have done something worth doing, Triple H comes out and makes them (and everyone else) look like his bitches, which is what he's done since this feud started.

 

People believe the feud itself, and namely the match, will be boring because Triple H's role here reminds them of the better part of 2003 (excuse the pun), which absolutely sucked.

 

I was expecting a couple of Pedigrees here - or at least, it wouldn't've surprised me had Triple H gone down to the ring.

 

The promo itself was great in how it was done, mic-wise, and that includes Triple H, but instead of keeping the feud interesting, Triple H sucking the dick of Vince McMahon puts a stop to that, at all costs.

 

You know, on the last piece of build-up on the last show before WrestleMania, I was expecting to actually get the "He did it here, but can he do it WrestkeMania?" mindset, but instead, what I'm sure will be a great match (...) was next to ruined by a promo aimed in the wrong direction.

 

***1/4 (taking into consideration the actual promo entertainment factor, the mic work and how Triple H ruined it).

 

It's Spike Dudley's turn to play 'Backstage worker not really used for anything meaningful now'.

 

Enjoyable segment to see Spike and Mick interact, and keeps on hyping our final segment, but it wasn't long enough.

 

**

 

Match 4: Lita VS Molly Holly

 

Oh, I fucking HATE Lita.

 

Did you see how horribly she botched that Headscissors?

 

Anyway, I was hoping that we could go an entire show without having to see her and her retarded look, but it was not to be.

 

At least it had the obvious build for Sunday, a match that Lita is thankfully not in.

 

Sure, I love Victoria as a face here, but I don't like the fact that she has to side with (meaning work with) Lita.

 

The build for even this match at WrestleMania XX definitely could've been better, but there you go.

 

** (it would've been higher had Lita not been in it - Hell, I'd prefer Trish Stratus).

 

Indeed, Stone Cold Steve Austin's ATV was stolen - leading us up to this next promo.

 

This video package highlighting the Brock Lesnar/Bill Goldberg feud could've been better. Much better. I hope that that's not the one that they show on Sunday.

 

**

 

Very enjoyable promo here by Austin, and what the fuck is he doing in actual jeans?

 

From Raw here, you may have gotten the slight inclination that SmackDown! would still actually attempt to build for Brock Lesnar/Goldberg, but no, SmackDown! screwed you over.

 

We'll get to that soon.

 

****

 

WWE Rewind, showing Christian beating Trish Stratus in a 'match' takes us into...

 

Match 5: Chris Jericho VS Steven Richards

 

When I saw the quick Raw results from WWE.com and I saw that Jericho had done the job for Richards, I'd had to rub my eyes. But then I considered what probably happened, which is what did.

 

Not a bad match here, with Richards actually getting some time on Raw, and not his trademark ring-attire show, and those are pretty cool.

 

Obviously, Richards' win didn't affect Jericho here, especially with the post-match beat-down, which definitely made the win meaningless for Richards.

 

**3/4

 

I rated the WWE Hall of Fame video package last week. Very enjoyable video.

 

Was this supposed to be build-up for their match on Sunday for Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda? Hell, you'd think that with SmackDown! not touching on it, things'd be a little better.

 

Oh well, at least it continues to get "Johnny Spade" over, or at least attempts to. Sure, it's been hashed and re-hashed, but it's still fun.

 

**3/4

 

I really wish that Raw could've shilled SmackDown!'s matches for WrestleMania. I won't rate this, but even if the card could've been a hell of a lot better, it's still nice to see it come into fruition.

 

Here comes The Rock!

 

Mick Foley - 'This Is Your Life'

 

And The Rock is in the arena!

 

This was a great segment. Sure, there may be no real reason for 'This Is Your Life', but there was back in 1999, and this was sort of a payback segment.

 

I thought that WWE would go half-assed here, but they didn't - actual people came out.

 

Some of the sexual innuendos with Mrs. Doris Snyder were not needed, but were entertaining nonetheless.

 

Critic Bob Thompson was the funniest character in the entire segment - hilarious.

 

Indeed, it was great to see Jimmy Snuka again - for a worthy purpose this time, and not trying to put over two guys who can't work.

 

The segment overall was highly entertaining - as I said for The Superfly, it wasn't for no reason, either (well, as far as a 'This Is Your Life' segment goes, anyway...).

 

It was build-up to the build-up for WrestleMania. We all knew that we'd see 3/4 of Evolution.

 

Personally, I do believe that that Randy Orton, Ric Flair and Batista will be victorious at WrestleMania - so I guess you could say that by Mick Foley (and The Rock) hardly ever getting the upper hand is retarded, but seeing as both faces are over as hell, I don't think so.

 

**** - not quite at the standard of September 1999.

 

iB's WWE Raw rating: ****1/4

 

Well, there it is guys. The final WWE Raw before WWE WrestleMania XX.

 

Satisfactory build for the Main Event (of Raw, and of WrestleMania), Kane VS The Undertaker, Chris Jericho VS Christian, Molly Holly VS Victoria in their own way/s, the hype for the World Tag Team Championship match was forced, and fucking tremendous build for The Rock 'n' Sock Connection VS 3/4 of Evolution in Randy Orton, Ric Flair and Batista.

 

The build here was much better than we'll have over on SmackDown!, although that doesn't mean that it was great or anything.

 

A highly satisfying Raw here before the big day (it just seems so much closer down here).

 

It was highly satisfying for what we got, but if the feuds had been organised and given the actual required build much earlier, than we'd have ourselves a ***** show.

 

My final WrestleMania opinions and predictions below SmackDown!.

 

The final stop on the Road to WrestleMania! It's time for SmackDown!

 

This is WWE SmackDown! for the 13/03/04 here in Australia, and the 12/03/04 in the US of A, taped 10/03/04 from the Trump Marina in Atlantic City, New Jersey - Your Announcers are Michael Cole and Tazz

 

 

Not a bad opening vignette. Not great, either.

 

**3/4

 

Match 1: John Cena VS Rhyno

 

Pre-match rap: ***

 

"Mark for yourself"?

 

Not a bad opener here - when a guy like Cena kicks us off, it's gotta get the crowd ready to go. Sure, it had zero psychology, buy it was filler used to build for Show/Cena. Apart from Cena obviously going over, his rap was about it for build-up in this segment.

 

***1/4

 

I thought that something big had to be coming from all of the Superstars being rounded up in the SmackDown! locker room, and well, I was half-right.

 

I like the attention that this Lesnar/Goldberg (Goldberg?) feud is getting, added in this backstage segment.

 

It made for some interesting television - more on this feud later.

 

****

 

Steve Austin's truck in the parking lot is a great touch. And look at the drunk bastard, he's parked obliquely over two spaces!

 

***3/4

 

Match 2: Rey Mysterio Jr. VS Jamie Noble, with Chavos Jr. and Sr. at Announce

 

Nice, fairly subtle build (apart from the Chavos) for WrestleMania's Cruiserweight Open here.

 

The match itself wasn't too bad - enjoyable mat wrestling to start, and great for what it leads up to.

 

***

 

Match 3: 8-Man Tag Team match: Rey Mysterio Jr., Billy Kidman, Ultimo Dragon and Sho Funaki VS Yoshihiro Takiri, Jimmy Yang, Ryan Sakoda and Jamie Noble

 

Great idea here - Sunday central heels caused this to happen, and it allows for majority of the Superstars booked for the Cruiserweight Open to get a feel for eachother in the ring.

 

Highly entertaining match here to boot, as expected, with great hype, as is the deal with the post-match debacle.

 

It would've been smarter for someone like Ultimo Dragon to pick up the win here.

 

***3/4

 

These little backstage "Austin-watch" segments were entertaining - but it would help if they actually meant something.

 

***

 

A nice vignette to kick us into the Main Event build-up. The only problem I have with it/them is that they show too much of certain events.

 

***

 

Match 4: Non-title contest: WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero VS Shelton Benjamin

 

Great post-match promo given by Eddie here, as expected, and leads up.

 

What the hell is Shelton Benjamin doing as Eddie Guerrero's opponent? I think that Cole hit the nail right on the head, which is DEFINITELY saying something, but don't Haas and Benjamin have a match themselves to hype? I don't care if it gets them over.

 

The match itself was enjoyable - great use of the WWE Championship belt, although it would've made more sense to have Haas and Benjamin interfere in the match two after this one.

 

But, alas - that couldn't happen now, could it? Would that make too much sense?

 

At least we had some, however brief, kick-ass hype for Angle/Eddie here with Angle's awesome appearance.

 

***1/2

 

Was this video package supposed to hype Torrie and Sable VS Stacy and Jackie?

 

**

 

More on this Heyman/Jordan confrontation a little later.

 

*** (for what it stands for)

 

Match 5: The Big Show VS John Walters and Nick Beely (Arch Kincaid)

 

Sure, the match sucked, but at least it made for some satisying post-match build. I'm sure that tossing around a couple of 200 pounders is going to intimidate a 260 pound man who's got heat on you several occasions.

 

Maybe Walters and Beely will actually be used properly in this company a little later. But I doubt it.

 

DUD

 

The backstage segment with Paul Heyman and the APA was interesting - it did build for what happens in the Main Event segment.

 

But that was about it.

 

**

 

Match 6: Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty and Rikishi) VS The Brothers Basham

 

Whether or not you recap last week's happenings here, it doesn't mean that it's decent build-up at all - it's as if WWE are trying to cling onto anything they've got.

 

Standard match between these two teams - not a good sign at all heading into WrestleMania. In other words, it wasn't enjoyable.

 

The build-up here was also forced, and did nothing the show before WrestleMania.

 

*3/4

 

I rated the Lesnar/Goldberg package for WrestleMania already. I hope that this isn't the one played pre-match at 'Mania, but I wouldn't get your hopes up.

 

Showing the absence of Austin's machine in the parking lot was another nice touch - but I think that we all knew what was coming.

 

***1/2

 

Again, the happenings between Kane and The Undertaker from Raw were recapped here. The little mystique that it had during the segments on Raw was officially ruined this week on the show.

 

This is SmackDown!'s way of participating in this cross-brand match - but what else can they do?

 

I don't know how many times I've credited (and) rated the official WrestleMania match card. You'll see the final and official card at the bottom of this commentary, along with my opinions.

 

It's time for the final segment tonight!

 

The touches that were done well here were the way that the SmackDown! Superstars stood like troopers in the aisle for the almighty Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar.

 

A word about Austin...

 

TSM poster Anglesault had a royal bitch about the way that the Superstars caved in with a single look from Austin - but think about it: Had the near 50 SmackDown! Superstars all tried to gangbash Austin, then the entire SmackDown! roster would've been heels that were made to look weak.

 

Honestly, you would think that this match at WrestleMania is Brock Lesnar VS Goldberg! I mean, true, when Goldberg isn't there, you have to use Austin, as I have mentioned in a/previous edition/s, but really - I never thought that I'd say this, but would a mention of Goldberg in a promo or two really hurt them?

 

What went on the ring was done well - fans were getting into what was happening between the two, and they waiting for Steve Austin to counter the F-5 into that Stone Cold Stunner and nail it, but it never came - this does actually build for WrestleMania, albeit where it shouldn't.

 

This final segment was fulfilling, but overall, pretty pointless, other than to cover Goldberg's ass.

 

***1/4

 

The issue of Brock Lesnar after WrestleMania XX. There have been many rumours flying about lately - Vince McMahon bringing back WCW, Vince McMahon bringing back ECW, Brock Lesnar leaving WWE to play for the NFL, Brock Lesnar leaving WWE to play for the Minnesota Vikings, and the latter being a complete work.

 

Brock's unhappiness has apparently stemmed mainly from having to work with Hardcore Holly in South Africa and putting The Dead Man over in a major way.

 

Apparently, Minnasota Vikings captain Mike Tice has said "No thanks" regarding Mr. Lesnar playing for the Vikings.

 

Hmmm... a bit suspicious, don't you think? Him just coming out and say that? Each year, something ground-breaking happens the night after WrestleMania - I mean, in 2002 we had the brand-split, and 2003 gave us Bill Goldberg's arrival in World Wrestling Entertainment (I said "ground-breaking." Wait...), to name a few.

 

Could this hot Brock Lesnar topic ("hot" meaning the topic) be just that - a work? Could it be a concoction of Vince McMahon and Brock Lesnar, having something to do with the return of WCW and/or ECW?

 

I personally couldn't have, and still can't, see Brock Lesnar truly losing his passion for professional wrestling. I just can't.

 

Regarding selling-out, I do have an opinion on Brock Lesnar, but I'll wait to see what stems from this until I give it out, shall I?

 

If both Brock and 'Berg are jetting-off after March 14, 2004, how will this be explained? People could come to terms with Goldberg - I've never heard one person praise his in-ring ability. Why? Because he has none.

 

However, with Brock Lesnar, mark or not, you know what a terrific workrate that guy has - they're not going to go the Nathan Jones here - it should be very interesting.

 

If it is not, in fact, a work.

 

That's all, folks.

 

That's all of what WWE had to offer us before their biggest show ever.

 

Overall, an above average show - great build for Kurt Angle VS Eddie Guerrero, the Cruiserweight Open, and even for Brock Lesnar VS Bill Goldberg, inappropriate as it may have been.

 

****

 

This week's winner of Raw VS SmackDown! - WWE Raw, beating SmackDown! by 1/4*.

 

Both shows had their low points. While Raw had some nice build for all of it's matches and SmackDown! only concentrated on some of it's, the hype on SmackDown! surpassed that of Raw.

 

We'd have ourselves a tie had it not been for Raw's final segment.

 

Let's take a look at WWE WrestleMania XX:

 

For the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (Champion) VS Shawn Michaels VS Chris Benoit

 

I might have under-rated the build-up for this one - it's had the time that it needed, but whether or not the right was done with that time is another matter altogether.

 

I have, for the most part, enjoyed the hype put in - the rocky alliance formed between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit, for one part.

 

I believe that there are two possible scenarios here:

 

1. Shawn Michaels becomes the Champ, and he turns heel, dropping the strap to Chris Benoit at Backlash in Edmonton, Alberta. I mean, think about, rather coincidental that Backlash happens to be in the hometown of the underdog chasing the big belt. This scenario would make sense with what's been happening between the two faces, would make for one fucking tremendous match, more-so than their Raw encounter, while Triple H leaves to make his movie. Don't even get me started there.

 

And at least a Michaels victory would prevent the massive heat (depending on what happens during the match) to end "The Grand-daddy of 'em all" which would accompany my next scenario.

 

2. Triple H retains, and Chris Benoit gains even more from toppling such a beast in his hometown, and then Triple H leaves to make his movie. As for Shawn Michaels - we'll see what happens there.

 

A lot of the points in my previous scenario can also apply here.

 

I predict a tremendous match - a tremendous match. Who knows - if Triple H does retain, the heat might not actually happen.

 

I'm picking the latter scenario.

 

And I've done my best not to bitch about Chris Benoit chasing this Championship.

 

Beau's prediction: Triple H

 

Match 2: For the WWE Championship: Eddie Guerrero (Champion) VS Kurt Angle

 

The show-stealer. Without a doubt. I pray that WWE do not fuck it up.

 

The build-up for this one has been sufficient, and built around a simple premise - no bullshit with enough plot-holes to sink a battleship.

 

Not much to say here other than what I've already said.

 

A great match here - Match of the Year contender no doubt, as long as WWE don't somehow fuck it up. Good luck.

 

I see no reason for Eddie Guerrero to lose here.

 

Beau's prediction: Eddie Guerrero

 

Brock Lesnar VS Bill Goldberg - Special Guest Referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin

 

You all know my thoughts regarding the focus on Austin, and why it has happened.

 

The build-up for this has been sufficient - the "build-up."

 

Will Brock Lesnar leave? Will Goldberg leave? I'll say "maybe" and "yes", respectively. Or maybe "maybe" and "hopefully."

 

As I've said before, this is obviously a promoter's dream match - two similarly-built guys, with comparisons often made between the two. But one thing that is completely different between the two is their wrestling ability, as anyone could tell you.

 

If Brock can carry Goldberg in what could be his last match (for either), the match might not be too bad - but Brock, you've got your work cut out for you.

 

Steve Austin will obviously be used in a major way - could this Austin/Lesnar altercation have something to do with the Brock rumour? I'm tingling.

 

Beau's prediction: Brock Lesnar

 

Kane VS The Undertaker

 

The build-up hasn't been that bad, I'll admit, and was great this week on Raw. It was about all that they could to, on both counts.

 

The match's high point will obviously be the return of The Dead Man - as far as the match goes, I'm not so sure.

 

I don't think that there's any real doubt in the winner. The right decision? You decide.

 

Beau's prediction: The Undertaker

 

Playboy Evening Gown Match: Torrie Wilson and Sable VS Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda

 

I don't care - the hype has sucked, and the match will have a task ahead of it of not sucking more.

 

Maybe for WrestleMania, we'll see something? That'd be the high point, and the only high point.

 

As far as my hope for great pictures resulting - maybe after 'Mania?

 

We can be thankful for one thing here - at least Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda aren't chasing the Women's Championship.

 

T&A is about it, which is sad, even for these four, considering that this is WrestleMania XX.

 

Side-note: WrestleMania.com has a great picture of the four of them.

 

Beau's prediction, not that I really give a shit: Torrie Wilson and Sable

3-on-2 Handicap match: The Rock 'n' Sock Connection VS 3/4 of Evolution: Randy Orton, Mick Foley and Batista

Sure, this match should've been a one-on-one where build-up is considered - but match-wise, I doubt that it would've worked.

 

This is getting The Rock on the WrestleMania card, as with Ric Flair and Batista, now.

 

Not to sound like a broken record, but I figure that if this is indeed Mick Foley's last match (which I doubt that it is - he's booked through April, so we'll just say "one of"), he'd love to put Randy Orton over - he knows what it's like to even make it in the professional wrestling industry, mega-push or not.

 

This has received tremendous build-up. The build between Foley and Orton has been terrific, and even since the other three participants were introduced, things have been done terrifically.

 

I'm curious here - will it rule, or will it suck? I don't know if there's a happy medium.

 

I'm still curious...

 

Beau's prediction: 3/4 of Evolution: Randy Orton, Ric Flair and Batista

For the WWE U.S. Championship: The Big Show (Champion) VS John Cena

The Big Show's knees are fucked from his immense weight, as you'd know. He is apparently having them scoped after WrestleMania.

 

This is one reason to give John Cena the U.S. Championship, apart from the fact that he's already incredibly fucking over, and now is the perfect time for him to have it.

 

The build-up has only stepped up just this week, and not even much. Otherwise, it's been where convenient. Noone has gone out of their way.

 

The match shouldn't be too bad - Cena has carried Show before (literally).

 

Beau's prediction: John Cena

 

Chris Jericho VS Christian

 

The hype here has been great - length-wise, at least - it hasn't been so bad content-wise, but it could've been that little bit better.

 

Set around a simple premise - a love triangle of sorts.

 

I think that everybody just expects Chris Jericho to go over, but a Christian push may be on the agenda, unless they pull a Michaels/Jericho at XIX. I tipped Jericho - we'll see what happens.

 

Hopefully, an under-card show stealer.

 

Beau's prediction: Chris Jericho

For the WWE Tag Team Championship: A Fatal 4-Way: Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty (Champions) VS The APA VS The Brothers Basham VS The "Self-Proclaimed" "World's Greatest Tag Team" in Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin

The build-up here has been next to non-existent, and extremely lackluster where it has been.

 

The match might surprise - but don't get your hopes up, unless two guys can carry six.

 

In what may just be both wishful thinking and delusion, and clinging to nothing, really, I tipped:

Beau's prediction: The "Self-Proclaimed" "World's Greatest Tag Team": Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin

For the WWE Women's Championship: Victoria (Champion) VS Molly Holly - If Molly loses, her head gets shaved

 

I can't see any real reason for the hair stipulation if it doesn't deliver, even for WWE.

 

This shouldn't be too bad at all - two women that can actually work, going one-on-one.

 

I'm guessing that Molly is getting shaved (her head, I mean) for a film role, while Victoria remains victorious.

 

Beau's prediction: Victoria

 

The first-ever Cruiserweight Open for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Champion) w/ Chavo Sr. most likely somewhere VS Rey Mysterio Jr. VS Billy Kidman VS Ultimo Dragon VS Sho Funaki VS Little Guido VS Yoshihiro Tajiri VS Jamie Noble VS Shannon Moore VS Jimmy Yang VS Paul London

 

I think that that's all of them.

 

The build here has been one of the few matches that have been given what they have needed.

 

At least this "Cruiserweight Open" gimmick takes away the 'Over-the-top-rope' gimmick, which would certainly be an insult to the division. Who runs this company?

 

Let's hope that it's not too much of a rat-race.

 

I don't think that there's any secret as to who the winner will be.

 

Beau's prediction: Rey Mysterio Jnr.

 

For the WWE World Tag Team Championship: Rob Van Dam and Booker T (Champions) VS Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade VS La Resistance (Rene Dupree and Rob Conway) VS The Dudley Boyz

 

Indeed, I am MIGHTILY pissed off that Bubba and D'Von went over on Lance Storm and Val Venus on Heat!

 

This Tag Team Championship match, much like it's counterpart, most certainly has not had what it needed - I've finally snapped out of my little dream world and realised that now.

 

I thought that Storm and Venis would carry on the trend of guys that can actually work being in the match, but WWE are not going to bother actually trying to get them over, they're just gonna chuck them on Heat and bring in The Dudleyz because they're already over, and will be in New York City more-so, no matter how smart the New York fans are.

 

No real doubt about this result either, even though this is me changing my mind from when I put my tips in on The Shooters.

 

Definitely a way to pump the crowd up by giving them a win in the opener.

 

Beau's prediction: The Dudley Boyz

 

So there you go - the card for WWE WrestleMania XX.

 

Sure, it could've been better - but there are some matches in there that could steal the entire show, while still not over-lapping eachother, style-wise, at least.

 

I'm not bitching about the low points. I'm praising the high points.

 

Overall, the card isn't that bad - it will be a highly enjoyable show.

 

I'll see you at WWE WrestleMania XX!

 

'Til next time,

Beau

 

The feedback goes here. The archives are here.

 

Take it easy.

[KTID 0]

Far too long to read, never mind understand.