New Lance Storm Commentary

[Scroby 0]

Time Off for Good Behaviour

April 17, 2004

 

Okay, perhaps my behaviour hasn’t been all that good, but I have in fact had time off. That’s right I’ve been completely off the road the last couple of weeks, just sitting at home, if you will. I realise not all of you have noticed this, which isn’t all that surprising seeing that the amount of TV time I’ve been receiving hasn’t been all that effected by my absence (LOL). So I guess the question now is, “What have I been doing?”

 

For the most part I’ve been doing nothing, well at least nothing wrestling related. I have been spending my time being a Dad. My time off has conveniently coincided with my daughter Rebecca’s spring break so the 5 of us have had the rare pleasure of spending time together as a family. “Five?” You say. That’s right five, my wife, and me, our two daughters, and our dog. That’s right I’ve gotten a dog somewhere a long the way. About 2 months ago we stopped by our local pet store just to look at all the pets and fell in love with a little Bichon/Shitzu cross, pup. My wife and kids fall for a puppy every time we go there but this time I caved in too.

 

We named him Jack and couldn’t be happier about having him, and believe me it’s good not to be the only male in the house for a change. The only odd thing is I constantly have people telling me that my dog is too small for me, or that they are at the very least surprised I would have a dog that small, or for that matter been scene in public with him. Apparently a little 8-pound fluffy puppy isn’t manly enough for a man of my mass, and people think that somehow the size of my dog reflects poorly on my manhood. Let me just say this, I’ve lived my whole life with the belief that size doesn’t matter (LOL) and I’m not about to change now. If you need a big mean dog to feel like a man, be my guest, I’ll stick with my boy Jack!

 

We’ve taken in a couple of movies, visited the Calgary Science Centre, and just hung out together having fun. I even managed to do some spring yard work, like a regular person. I’ve also had the time to rest and rehab my back somewhat. I think I’ve mentioned here in the past that I’ve been fighting a nagging back problem for the better part of a year now and this time off has really helped. I feel better than I have in a long time.

 

I’ve also had the chance to chat online with some of my Book Marks crew, which has kicked off a bit of a debate the rest of you may want to get in on. “Kill Bill: Volume 1” Movie Genius or just a bunch of Crap? My vote is for bunch-o-crap. Jericho and I went to see this flix on the road it’s opening weekend. Jericho and I both are big Tarantino fans, so we were excited about Kill Bill. We both left the theatre thinking this film SUCKED! Chris even went back a second time to give it another chance, and hated it the second time too.

 

My biggest problem with the film is its lack of dialogue. We still quote lines from Pulp Fiction on the road and that movie is 10 years old. Tarantino’s strong suit, in my opinion has always been dialogue and there is absolutely none worth mentioning in Kill Bill. It is nothing more than a few well-shot fight scenes. There is no plot, and thus no point to the whole thing. Yah yah, I know she is out for revenge because Bill tried to kill her. That’s not a plot that’s motive. They never explained why Bill tried to kill her, they just tell you he did and she is pissed about it. We then proceed to 3 (I think) completely unrelated scenes where Uma (can’t remember the character’s name) takes part in these big elaborate fight scenes. What makes it worse in my opinion is that the movie was only an hour and a half. There were several (non-fight scenes) that dragged like hell (her getting her sword for one) that could have and should have been tightened up. With a bit of editing Volume 1 and 2 could have been combined into a less than three hour film and been scene for the 8-12 dollars every other film costs us. Instead he breaks this up into two films charges us double and rips us of with a gimmick of doing a film in volumes. Volume 1 was nothing more than half a movie we got charged full price for.

 

For those of you who like the film because of the fight scenes, I offer you this analogy. Tarantino is like a mark Indy worker, with this film, who has thought up a bunch of cool moves and spots he wants to do in a match. Instead of waiting to use the moves/spots in matches where they will fit in and tell a good story, he just does them all in one match for the sake of doing them. There is no real story here, there is just enough info provided to justify a bunch of fight scenes. A HUGE thumbs down in my books.

 

I’m sure I will get bombarded with contrary opinions, and look forward to it. Please don’t make them too long as I may end up skipping over them.

 

Till next week,

Lance

 

Credit: Stormwrestling.com

[C Dubya 04 0]

Is Storm hurt? Or just not being used?

 

Btw, I agree with him re Kill Bill.

[Guest DeputyHawk]

Sounds like he's just not being used. It'll be no surpirse at all to see Lance show up on Johnny Ace's spring clean list. Sucks for Lance, but I think he still has some good work in him in TNA or, particularly, with some of the younger guys in ROH.

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

Sounds like he's just not being used. It'll be no surpirse at all to see Lance show up on Johnny Ace's spring clean list. Sucks for Lance, but I think he still has some good work in him in TNA or, particularly, with some of the younger guys in ROH.

But then wouldn't Storm be a mark Indy worker then?

[Styles 0]

I have a Bichon too! They are indeed the sweetest dogs. Excellent with kids too.

[Guest webmasterofwrestlegame]

Sounds like he's just not being used. It'll be no surpirse at all to see Lance show up on Johnny Ace's spring clean list.

 

I believe it was Ace who was behind Storm's push in WCW when he collected a load'o'belts.

[justcoz 0]

Hopefully Storm and Jericho go see Kill Bill Vol. 2. I can see what he's saying about the lack of plot in Vol. 1 but I looked at it more or less as introducing you to the characters. The story and dialogue are all in Vol. 2.

 

I look for Storm to get cut. I haven't read the dark match/Heat reports, was he even used in Calgary....... Alberta, Canada? If they couldn't give him something to do in his hometown then forget about it. He would have received a reaction so we couldn't have that.

 

How about incorporating the WWE enforcing the "Now Residing in the USA" on their Canadian wrestlers into a storyline with Storm refusing to go along with it, cutting a promo saying how prejudiced the company is toward Canadians, just look at the Montreal screwjob, etc. Yes, Storm and his Pro Canada shtick has been done before but it's the only thing that has ever got him heat.

 

I'm torn on Storm, I see talent but not star talent. I don't think he could carry anyone to a **** match but I'd take watching him over most of the roster with the hosses, etc.

 

Listen to the Pittsburgh music scene and more. New music this week from Pretty Girls Make Graves, The Stills, Metric, Rasputina, Mike Watt and The Walkmen

[Guest Nater]

Maybe this explains why wrestlers suck so badly in Hollywood.

[Guest wildpegasus]

Nice of Storm to take the time to write these reports. It's always an interesting read.

 

I was very underwhelmed by Kill Bill Vol 1 too. Storm was right about there not being enough phycology in the movie as the fighting he was talking about was a spotfest. Maybe because there was absolutely nothing new for me in this movie so I didn't take to it like others did.

[Guest thebigjig]

I'm glad Storm is a wrestler and not a movie critic

 

Kill Bill was never intended to be a plot heavy ultra smart movie... it's a fucking grind house martial arts roller coaster for Christs sake... thats like renting Airplane! and being dissapointed about the lack of drama

[Tawren 0]

I look for Storm to get cut. I haven't read the dark match/Heat reports, was he even used in Calgary....... Alberta, Canada? If they couldn't give him something to do in his hometown then forget about it. He would have received a reaction so we couldn't have that.

*SPOILERS*

 

He beat Steven Richards in an OK, 4-5 minute match. Huge pop for Storm.

[EricMM 0]

I agree w. bigjig about Kill Bill.

 

Anyone looking for a plot heavy movie shouldn't go see a flick w/ a main character w/out a name. It was a revenge action flick in the stylings of kung fu flicks of bygone eras. It was a comedy for crying out loud.

[Guest JMA]

I agree w. bigjig about Kill Bill.

 

Anyone looking for a plot heavy movie shouldn't go see a flick w/ a main character w/out a name. It was a revenge action flick in the stylings of kung fu flicks of bygone eras. It was a comedy for crying out loud.

I don't know if I'd call it a "comedy." There were certainly very comedic elements (dark ones, that is) but there was more than that. It's almost like a blending of different genres: action, comedy, drama, and romance.

[Guest thebigjig]

Storm reminds me of the type of person that would watch a movie like say, Pirates of the Caribbean and say something like "I didn't like it... it was AWFUL! Why? Because everyone knows that there is no such thing as ghosts! It insults my intelligence"

[Guest wildpegasus]

I agree w. bigjig about Kill Bill.

 

Anyone looking for a plot heavy movie shouldn't go see a flick w/ a main character w/out a name. It was a revenge action flick in the stylings of kung fu flicks of bygone eras. It was a comedy for crying out loud.

I should say I enjoyed some parts of this movie but let me just say I knew what I was getting into before I got into it. In fact, this movie looked right up my alley before I watched itand I was just super excited before seeing it hearing about all the fanatical reviews. I'd never heard the like before. Than I watched it and was tremendously dissapointed. It's not that I really disliked it -- It just wasn't worth spending $4.75 on.

[SuperJerk 0]

I think someone forgot to tell Lance that it was only the first half of a 3 1/2 hour movie, and that's the way it was filmed. It was only in post-production that it was decided they should cut it into volumes.

 

 

Jericho and I went to see this flix on the road it’s opening weekend. Jericho and I both are big Tarantino fans, so we were excited about Kill Bill. We both left the theatre thinking this film SUCKED! Chris even went back a second time to give it another chance, and hated it the second time too.

Anyone else remember Jericho bitching about people not liking Attack of the Clones during his infamous King of the Ring 2002 rant (the one where he complained about people nitpicking his match with RVD...the damn thing was the only new thing on his site for almost a whole year)?

[CanadianChris 0]

Anyone else remember Jericho bitching about people not liking Attack of the Clones during his infamous King of the Ring 2002 rant (the one where he complained about people nitpicking his match with RVD...the damn thing was the only new thing on his site for almost a whole year)?

I didn't know it was possible to have that little taste in movies. Although he did like Pulp Fiction, so he's not totally hopeless.

[Guest wildpegasus]

Anyone else remember Jericho bitching about people not liking Attack of the Clones during his infamous King of the Ring 2002 rant (the one where he complained about people nitpicking his match with RVD...the damn thing was the only new thing on his site for almost a whole year)?

I didn't know it was possible to have that little taste in movies. Although he did like Pulp Fiction, so he's not totally hopeless.

I liked Attack of the Clones better than Kill Bill Vol 1 and I'm not even a Star Wars junkie. Hey, I can't even remember if that's the first or second new Star Wars movie they made but it was still better nontheless.

[Guest CronoT]

Anyone else remember Jericho bitching about people not liking Attack of the Clones during his infamous King of the Ring 2002 rant (the one where he complained about people nitpicking his match with RVD...the damn thing was the only new thing on his site for almost a whole year)?

I didn't know it was possible to have that little taste in movies. Although he did like Pulp Fiction, so he's not totally hopeless.

It's all about cultural taste. In Western culture, there is an emphasis on character, plot, story, and development.

 

In Eastern culture, there's an emphasis on action, violence, and sex.

 

It's all in how you look at things, really.

[Guest Nater]

Expectation is the creator of disappointment.

[Guest wildpegasus]

Expectation is the creator of disappointment.

True which is why I never usually allow it to run rampant.