From the Vault: Wild and Dangerous vs Judge Mental

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Mostly reposted because it's the only other "Five Wounds" match that I can remember happening... and because I may not get another chance pimp one of my own matches; it was pretty much niche writing, after all...

 

 

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“What an incredible night we’ve had so far,” yells Axis. “The Magnificent Seven has already had a tremendous influence on tonight’s action, and now, Judge Mental, the SJL Champion, will be in for a dogfight against two of the most exciting competitors in the entire SJL!”

 

“What the Judge needs to do to win this match is try to isolate one or the other of these two, preferably Wildchild,” adds Suicide King. “Wildchild’s neck is probably still feeling the effects of the beating he took from Mike Van Siclen last week, and I expect the Judge to use that to his advantage.”

 

At that moment, the arena lights dim, and a hush falls over the crowd. The speakers suddenly come alive with the sounds of women screaming out the name “Johnny Dangerous!” Limp Bizkit’s “Mission Impossible 2” erupts throughout the arena as dozens of multicolored spotlights pan the crowd. The fans break into a deafening roar as two of the SJL’s most popular wrestlers, Johnny Dangerous and Wildchild appear simultaneously on the entrance ramp, Johnny dressed in a white tuxedo with a blue bow-tie and cummerbund which matches Wildchild’s costume.

 

In the ring, the ever-resplendent Funyon speaks into the microphone, “ladies and gentlemen, the following is a ‘Five Wounds’ Handicap match. The winner will be determined by whoever has the most falls after the final stage. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of four hundred and twenty-two pounds, from Las Vegas, Nevada, the ‘Barracuda,’ Johnny Daaaaangerous! And his partner, from the Bahamas, the Wiiiiildchiiiiild!” Johnny and Wildchild race down to ringside into the ring, Johnny sliding underneath the bottom rope, and Wildchild somersaulting between the bottom and middle ropes. They each run to a corner and pose on the turnbuckles, soaking up the crowds’ adulation.

 

“I can’t stand the way these two whore themselves for the fans,” spits the King in disgust. “They’d probably be a hell of a lot farther in this company if they didn’t spend so much time worried about what the fans think.”

 

“Be that as it may, King,” interrupts Axis, “what do you think these two have to do to beat the Judge?”

 

“You can’t really be that stupid, can you,” replies the King, a look of incredulity on his face. “It’s a handicap match; what do you THINK they have to do to win? They have to double-team the Judge without mercy! Hell, they need to cheat, if they can get away with it! Neither one of these two can compete with Judge Mental on a one-on-one basis, but in a handicap, they have a clear advantage.”

 

 

Limp Bizkit fades out, and the arena goes dark again. Suddenly, an authoritative voice screams the words “NOW TESTIFY!” The entrance ramp becomes engulfed in a fearsome wall of flame as Rage Against the Machine’s “Testify” starts to play. As the flames begin to die down, the SJL Champion, Judge Mental, steps onto the stage, adorned in his judicial robe, and holding the World Championship belt over his left shoulder. “And their opponent,” continues Funyon, “from Royal Oak, Michigan, weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds, he is the SJL World Heavyweight Champion, Juuuuudge Meeeeentaaaaal!!” Judge walks down to the ring, ignoring the chorus of boos from the fans at ringside. Judge walks up the ringside stairs and steps between the top and middle ropes, raising the World Title over his head with a smug look on his face. Handing the belt to the referee, Judge reaches across his chest and pulls his robe above his head. Underneath the robe, Judge is wearing black spandex pants as usual, but in addition to “Judge Mental” stenciled in red on the back, his pants have the word “Magnificent” written down the left leg, and a stylized “Seven” written down the right side. Additionally, Judge is wearing a blood-red sleeveless T-shirt with the trademark “M7” logo in black on the front.

 

Axis shakes his head. “I still can’t believe it, King! The Magnificent Seven is back in the SJL!”

 

“You better believe it,” crows the King. “With the Magnificent Seven back around here, we can look forward to a new golden age in professional wrestling!”

 

Referee Matthew Kivell motions for the timekeeper to ring the bell to signify the start of the match, and then forces Johnny Dangerous to wait outside the ring as Wildchild starts out against Judge Mental. Judge and Wildchild tie up and Judge immediately pushes Wildchild into the ropes, slowly releasing him and then slapping him harshly in the face. Judge backs away and glances at his palm to see if any of Wildchild’s face paint rubbed off, and then glares at him with an utter look of disdain. Wildchild rubs his jaw briefly before they tie up again in the middle of the ring and Judge again forces Wildchild backwards, this time in to the corner. The referee moves between the two men to separate them, and Judge raises his hands in the air, indicating a clean break. As the referee begins to retreat, Judge swings wildly into the corner at, but Wildchild ducks and darts out of the corner, leaping into the air and surprising Judge Mental with a dropkick that stuns him momentarily.

 

BAP! BAP!

 

Judge Mental’s head snaps backwards from the force of a couple of quick right hand jabs before Wildchild tries to whip him into the far corner, but he manages to easily reverse the attempt. Wildchild sails into the air and lands perched on the top turnbuckle, glancing backwards briefly at Judge before flipping off the turnbuckle. Judge quickly drops to the canvas in order to dodge what he believes to be a cross-body attempt, but fails to notice that Wildchild did not flip backwards, but straight into the air! Wildchild lands back on the top turnbuckle and flips off again, this time launching himself backwards and onto the unsuspecting Judge’s back!

 

“Outstanding maneuver by Wildchild,” exclaims Axis, as the crowd roars its approval. “Judge thought he had the cross-body well scouted, but he didn’t see the moonsault press coming!”

 

Wildchild grabs Judge Mental with a front facelock and drags him into his corner, reaching behind his back and making the tag to Johnny Dangerous. The crowd erupts anew as Johnny steps between the ropes, and he and Wildchild double-whip Judge to the ropes, sending him sailing through the air on the rebound with a double back body drop. Johnny picks Judge up off the canvas and starts belting him in the face with forearms as Wildchild steps between the ropes onto the apron. Johnny whips Judge into the far ropes, but Judge comes roaring back on the rebound, bowling Johnny over with a stiff shoulder block. Judge picks Johnny up and backs him into the ropes near his corner, delivering a vicious knife-edge chop that lifts the Barracuda off his feet!

 

WHACK!

 

Another brutal chop raises Johnny off the mat as Judge pushes him into the ropes to prepare to whip him to the far side, but Johnny reaches behind him to make a blind tag to Wildchild, and as he reaches the far ropes, springs over the top to land on the ring apron. Johnny leans over the top rope and breaks into a wide grin in Judge Mental’s direction, which causes the astute adjudicator to wheel around to see what’s going on behind him, but not quickly enough to avoid a springboard missile dropkick from the inbound Wildchild, which causes him to stagger backwards towards the Barracuda, who springs into the ring off the top rope to send Judge to the canvas face-first with a scintillating springboard bulldog!

 

“Beautiful tandem maneuver by Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous,” yells Axis. “A dropkick right into a bulldog!”

 

“Kinda cowardly for them to attack Judge Mental with the hit and run,” notes the King, “but give Wildchild and Dangerous credit for doing what I said they’d have to do to win this match; lots of blatant double teaming. And I think that they should continue to go ahead and keep it up, because it’s obvious that the referee’s going to let them get away with it!”

 

Wildchild picks judge up and whips him towards the far ropes, but Judge easily reverses, and catches Wildchild in mid-air as he attempts to springboard off the middle rope on the rebound. As the crowd boos him, Judge parades around the ring with Wildchild in is arms, flaunting his strength, but as he lifts Wildchild above his head for a press slam, Johnny runs into the ring and nails Judge with a dropkick that sends him to the mat, and leaves Wildchild dangling unsupported in mid-air for a split second before he crashes down onto Judge’s chest!

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Judge presses Wildchild off of him with ease, and rolls onto his knees as Wildchild runs against the ropes and lunges at Judge on the rebound, pinning him with an Oklahoma roll…

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Wildchild only gets a two count, as Judge Mental again kicks out. Wildchild scrambles to feet and runs to the far ropes as Judge starts to stand up, and leaps into the air at him on the rebound, but Judge catches him in a bearhug and slams him harshly to the mat! Wildchild’s head bounces off the mat from the force of the slam, and he rolls onto his stomach instinctively, which enables Judge to target the neck with stomps, before he picks him up and whips him into the far ropes. Wildchild leaps onto the top rope, but the sudden motion aggravates his injured neck, and he pauses momentarily, perched on the top rope, which gives Judge the opportunity to lunge at the ropes, causing Wildchild to lose his balance and fall into the ring, landing had on his neck. Judge picks Wildchild up and hammers the back of his neck with clubbing blows, before positioning himself behind Wildchild, locking in a full nelson, and lifting him off the mat and backwards with a Full Nelson Suplex! Judge Mental bridges after the suplex to try to score a pinfall…

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR – WHAM!

 

Before the referee can count three, Johnny Dangerous comes flying off the top turnbuckle onto Judge’s chest with a twisting frog splash! As the referee tries to force the Barracuda back into his corner, Judge gets up and knocks him backwards with a hard right hook. After struggling with Johnny in the corner, Judge Mental finally turns his attention back towards the center of the ring.

 

WHACK!

 

With a sudden burst of adrenaline, Wildchild rises off the mat and surges towards Judge Mental, sending him staggering into the ropes with a running elbow to the right temple! Wildchild whips Judge to the far ropes, but is easily reversed, and instead opts to slide underneath the bottom rope to the outside, rather than bounce back towards the waiting Judge, who decides to give chase, and as he runs towards the ropes and slides outside, Wildchild breaks into a run around the ring. Wildchild proves to be too fast for the malicious magistrate, runs past his corner, where the waiting Johnny Dangerous flies off the ring apron and catches the unsuspecting Judge running at full speed into the force of a blockbuster-style neckbreaker!

 

“What a cowardly move by Johnny Wannabe,” spits the King angrily. “What’s the idea sneak attacking the guy outside the ring?”

 

Wildchild runs back over to where Judge Mental is lying on the arena floor, and helps Johnny roll him back into the ring. Johnny gets back on the ring apron and runs to his corner, where Wildchild immediately runs over and tags him. The two lift Judge up to his feet, and whip him to the far ropes, catching him on the rebound with a double press slam that sends judge bouncing off the canvas, and leaves him exposed to Wildchild, who runs off the ropes, and blasts him again in the right temple, this time with a Shining Wizard!

 

As Judge rolls around on the canvas clutching his face in pain, Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous each go to a corner and scale to the top, eyeing Judge Mental inside the ring as he struggles to his feet. No sooner than he stands upright, Wildchild and Johnny both leap off the top turnbuckle, drilling him in the face with stereo missile dropkicks that send him crashing back to the mat. Both faces spring to their feet and Wildchild reaches into the air with both hands, clutching at the air and pulling it to his chest; the crowd erupts at the sight of the gesture that has become known as the sign for the Wild Ride.

 

“He really is crazy,” yells the King. “He’ll never get Judge Mental up for the Wild Ride!”

 

Before Wildchild can bend down to grab the Judge, Johnny stops him. Surprised, Wildchild stares at the Barracuda, who points to the two opposing ring posts, and Wildchild breaks into his trademark grin as he begins to understand Johnny’s idea.

 

“Johnny seems to have another idea,” notes Axis.

 

He does indeed, Axis, for as Johnny directs Wildchild to one corner, he himself climbs the opposite corner, and the two of them look at each other momentarily, and then they both leap off the top rope simultaneously! Johnny twists in the air and lands a corkscrew guillotine legdrop as Wildchild flips through the air in a shooting-star motion, and then jackknifes his body before splashing down on Judge’s chest!

 

“Oh my Gawd,” shouts Axis. “That was almost like an Event OMEGA! Did you see that hang time from Wildchild?”

 

Johnny rolls off to the side as Wildchild hooks Judges leg. Mathew Kivell counts a pinfall…

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

Referee Mathew Kivell motions to the timekeeper to ring the bell, as Funyon rises from his ringside seat. “The winners of the first fall, Johnny Dangerous and the Wildchild!”

 

“Johnny Dangerous and Wildchild take an early advantage in this ‘Five Wounds’ match,” says Axis. “They can pretty much put this thing out of reach if they can win next fall in the Tables match.”

 

“Well, they’ve definitely got the numbers advantage,” replies the King, “but in a Tables match, brawling usually takes over, and in that case, I’ve got to give the edge to the Judge, ‘cause of the power.”

 

Wildchild rolls to the outside, and reaches underneath the ring for a table as Johnny begins the second fall with Judge Mental. Johnny picks him up and delivers repeated right hands to Judge, sending him retreating to the corner, where Judge stops Johnny’s onslaught momentarily with a kick to the midsection, and tosses him outside the ring, failing to notice that Johnny lands on his feet as he tries to catch his breath. Johnny quickly climbs back into the ring, and runs after Judge, attacking him with a forearm to the back that sends him down to the canvas, where he rolls Judge over and continues his attacks with Hard Right Hands to the face. Judge manages to shrug him off and gets to his feet, swinging a right hook at Johnny’s head, but the Barracuda blocks, and delivers a few more right hands to the skull of the assailed assessor, which he manages to derail by grabbing Johnny’s head in a side-headlock out of desperation. Johnny pushes him into the ropes and back off, but is run over by a stiff lariat from Judge on the rebound. Mental then runs over the top of the fallen Barracuda to the opposite ropes, who springs to his feet and leapfrogs over him on the rebound, then grabs Judge by the back of the head as he returns, and uses his own momentum against him to toss him out of the ring!

 

“They’re not letting up on the Judge,” remarks Axis. “That’s the smartest thing they could do. Judge Mental may be the most dangerous man in the SJL; you can’t give him INCH!”

 

“Absolutely not,” adds the King. “As soon as either one of these two makes the slightest mistake, Hizzoner’s gonna take them apart!”

 

Wildchild pulls a table from underneath the ring and tosses it into the ring, sliding in after it as Judge gets to his feet outside the ring. As Wildchild begins to set up the table, Dangerous springs outside the ring with a plancha onto the top of the Judge! The Barracuda resumes his quest to fuse his fist with Judge Mental’s face, and then picks him up and leads him over to the ring post, where Judge lifts his knee into Johnny’s midsection to try to take over, and attempts to ram his face into the ring post, but Johnny blocks with his foot and rams Judge into the post instead! Johnny rolls Judge into the ring and rolls in after him, helping Wildchild prop him up on the table, and goes to the corner as Wildchild holds him steady on the table. Judge start hammering Wildchild with his left hand out of desperation, and finally knocks him away just as Johnny leaps off the top rope!

 

CRUNCH!

 

Flesh and bone are harshly introduced to wood as Johnny leaps off the top turnbuckle with a 450 splash, but fails to connect with Judge Mental, who rolls out of the way just in time, and crashes directly onto the table instead!

 

“Nobody home as Johnny goes through the table,” crows the King. “That might not count for a fall, but it definitely works in the Judge’s favor, as if effectively takes Johnny out of the match for right now, and I like his chances one-on-one against Wildchild.”

 

WHACK!

 

Staggering to his feet, Judge wheels around to look for Wildchild in time to be met by a flying forearm! Wildchild rolls to the outside, pulls another table from underneath the ring, and sets it up on the arena floor. He quickly climbs onto the ring apron and leaps onto the top rope, springing in with a corkscrew senton onto Hizzoner. Wildchild picks Judge up and backs him into the ropes, but gets reversed on a whip attempts by Judge, who puts his head down for a back body drop, but the Bahama bomber grabs Mental by the head and snaps him backwards, bouncing his head off the mat. Judge rolls onto the ring apron near the table to gather himself as Wildchild struggles to get to his feet.

 

“Wildchild’s slow to get up,” notes Axis. “I think he’s really starting to feel the effects of that neck injury.”

 

Mental stands up on the ring apron as Wildchild runs to the opposite ropes, and dashes back towards him, using to the middle rope to balance himself as he flips onto Judge’s shoulders, but Mental holds onto the ropes with his right hand to keep himself from falling backwards, and turns around to face the crowd, with Wildchild still on his shoulders…

 

SMASH~!

 

Judge Mental reaches up to lock his arms around Wildchild’s waist, and leaps off the ring apron, driving Wildchild’s back into the table at ringside with a ferocious powerbomb! The crowd breaks out in a loud “HOLY SHIT” chant as the referee orders the timekeeper to ring the bell.

 

“The winner of the second fall,” says Funyon, “evening this bout at one fall apiece, Judge Mental!”

 

“Ha-ha,” bellows Suicide King. “Judge Mental sends ‘Clown-boy’ into a table to even up the bout, and I tell you what, Axis; the worm done turneth! Now this next fall is going to be submissions only, and Hizzoner has a SIGNIFICANT advantage, not only because of his size and strength, but because neither one of these two guys has any kind of submission skills.”

 

Axis nods in agreement. “Well, Johnny has been known to pull out a surfboard on occasion, but otherwise you’re absolutely right, King. Johnny and Wildchild really needed to win that fall to give them some cushion against the Judge in the later stages of this match. I expect to see a lot more physicality out of the Judge now.”

 

Judge Mental rolls into the ring and pulls Johnny off the broken table, then commences a ruthless onslaught of stomps to the small of the back as the referee kicks the remnants of the table out of the ring. Judge then squats down over the top of Johnny, grabs him underneath the chin, and pulls back on it on a camel clutch.

 

“Camel clutch,” echoes the King. “Johnny can’t move backwards in that position, and there’s no way he’ll make it to the other ropes!”

 

Referee Mathew Kivell looks into Johnny’s eyes and asks him if he wants to give up, to which he vigorously shakes his head ‘no’. After another thirty seconds, however, Johnny starts to fade out, and the referee lifts his arm into the air, releasing it as it falls lifelessly back down. The referee raises the arm again, and it falls a second time. Kivell flashes two fingers at the timekeeper, and raises the arm a third time, but before he can let go, Wildchild lunges towards the ring and pulls at Johnny’s foot, causing Judge to break the hold. Mental walks over to the ropes and bends down to grab Wildchild by the hair, pulling him up onto the ring apron, but Wildchild punches him in the midsection to stun him, punches him again, forcing him to release his grip, and then reaches up and grabs Judge with ¾ facelock, dropping off the apron and guillotining Mental off the top rope. Wildchild slides back into the ring and picks Judge up off the mat, whipping him towards the far corner, but Mental easily reverses. Judge charges after Wildchild in the corner, but he easily darts out of the way as Mental crashes into the corner, and tries to hiptoss him as he staggers back towards the middle of the ring. Mental manages to block the hiptoss, but before he can counter, Wildchild bends down and grabs Mental’s left leg, rolling on his shoulders onto the mat, and tripping the Judge, causing him to fall forward as Wildchild continues rolling to end up behind him with an ankle lock applied! The crowd erupts in surprised approval at the unexpected counter.

 

“Oh my Gawd,” cries Axis, “an ankle lock!” I guarantee you that Judge Mental didn’t see that one coming!”

 

Judge is startled by the submission hold from the former circus star, but far from defeated, as he rolls onto his back and pushes Wildchild off of him, back into the corner. Mental rolls to his feet, gingerly shaking his left leg, and walks over to the corner, clubbing Wildchild over the back of the neck with sledgehammer-like forearms that sends Wildchild down to the canvas, clutching his neck in pain. Johnny pulls himself off the mat and lunges after Mental, jumping on his back to stop him from stomping on Wildchild’s neck, and applying a sleeper. Judge turns his head slightly, looking at Johnny almost in disbelief, and then runs backwards into the opposite corner at full speed, but Johnny jumps off his back and onto the ring apron just as they reach the corner, resulting in Judge crashing back first into the turnbuckle! The Barracuda grabs Mental by the head and tries to ram him face-first into the turnbuckle, but Judge blocks him and instead drives Johnny face-first into the ring post, causing him to fall to the arena floor.

 

“Where’s the Judge going,” asks Axis. “He’s not going to the top rope, is he?”

 

“Yes he is,” replies the King. “It looks like he’s going to jump off the top rope onto Johnny Dangerous, and I gotta agree with you, Axis; I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

It proves to be a bad idea indeed, as Wildchild surges to his feet and lunges to the opposite corner, shaking the ropes and causing the weary warden to crotch himself on the top rope. Wildchild swings his other leg inside, and climbs up to the top turnbuckle alongside Judge. He leaps onto his shoulders and bends backwards to take Mental into the ring with a Dragon Steiner, but he lands on his feet, and holds onto Wildchild’s legs as he cranks back in a standing Boston Crab!

 

“He’s got the Crab on,” cries the King. “It’s about to be over!”

 

It is indeed over, as the modified Liontamer places too much pressure on Wildchild’s neck, and he taps out almost immediately as the referee motions for the timekeeper to ring the bell. “The winner of the third fall,” says Funyon, “taking a two falls to one advantage, Judge Mental!”

 

“You know what’s the funniest thing about this is, Axis,” the King asks with a smirk. “That makes two falls in a row that Wildchild has lost for his team trying that Luchador crap and missing. The same move, as a matter of fact: he misses the hurricanrana in the second fall: WHAM! He gets powerbombed through a table! He misses the hurricanrana in the submission match: WHAM! He eats a Liontamer!”

 

“I feel a little bad for the kid, and he should probably consider varying up his attack, but at this point, he needs to go with what brought him to the dance, and hope that he and his partner can find a way in the Battle Royal.”

 

Judge Mental gets right to work on the Wildchild, hammering on his neck unmercifully, and whipping him to the ropes. Wildchild leaps into the air and lands on the top rope, but the sudden shock jars his neck and nearly causes him to fall out of the ring. Judge senses the opportunity to capitalize on his weakness and runs towards the ropes, but Wildchild manages to make a desperate back flip into the ring and over the top of the Judge, ducking underneath his lariat attempt, and leaping into the air dropkicking Judge into the ropes. Wildchild gets to his feet and stalks over to Judge Mental, his face paint all but gone from sweat, and rips into his face with stinging right jabs before backing him into the corner. Wildchild climbs onto the second and raises his fist to the crowd, who roars their approval and counts along with him as he delivers a ten-count punch in the corner.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

FOUR!

 

After only four punches, Judge grabs underneath Wildchild’s legs and turns around, placing him in a seated position on the top rope, and punching him repeatedly in the midsection. Judge takes a few steps backwards, and runs towards Wildchild at full speed with a brutal shoulder block that sends Wildchild falling backwards off the top rope, but he hooks his legs around Judges shoulders as he’s falling out of the ring, and uses his momentum to pull Mental over the top rope and out of the ring! Wildchild grabs the middle rope with both hands to keep himself from joining Mental on the arena floor, and the referee signals for the bell once more. “The winners of the fourth fall,” says Funyon, “evening this contest at two falls apiece, Johnny Dangerous and the Wildchild!”

 

“It’s kind of funny to hear Funyon call Johnny a winner in that fall, seeing as how he didn’t factor into it at all!”

 

“True enough,” admits Axis, but that’s going to work in their favor, as it gave him some much needed rest outside the ring.”

 

“Yeah,” replies the King, “but the flipside of that argument is that with the fall being so quick, Judge Mental didn’t really sustain any serious damage. He was pretty much just taken by surprise.”

 

“Funny thing, that,” quips Axis. “I guess that’s what happens when you get overconfident and let your guard down. What I find particularly funny is the way that, after all your talk about Wildchild going to the well too often with that hurricanrana, he catches the Judge sleeping with that very move!”

 

Johnny Dangerous returns to his feet, almost fully recovered as the cage is quickly lowered down to the ring. The Barracuda stalks over to the where Funyon is sitting as the ring attendants work swiftly to secure the cage, and snatches his chair from him, getting a running start at Judge, who is getting to his feet, and blasting him with the chair! He picks Mental up and bashes his face into the steel cage, and rubs his face into the steel mesh, ripping the flesh apart like so much tissue paper. The Barracuda leads the mauled magistrate to the door of the cage, and rolls him in, sliding under ropes in after him. Mental, his face a crimson mask, pokes Johnny in the eyes and makes a break for the door.

 

“Judge doesn’t have to pin either one of these guys to win the match,” remarks Axis. “All he has to do is escape.”

 

Mental lunges for the door, and gets the upper half of his body between the ropes, but Johnny grabs his legs and pulls him back into the ring. Johnny whips him into the ropes as Wildchild gets to his feet, and he ducks a lariat attempt from the Wildchild, but runs into a Johnny Kick! Judge staggers back into a Russian Sickle from Wildchild, and falls forward into a DDT!

 

SPLASH!

 

Johnny rolls out of the way just in time to avoid a running Senton from Wildchild! Mathew Kivell counts the shoulders…

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEE—NO! “He didn’t get him,” screams the King. “Two count only!”

 

Johnny and Wildchild pick Judge up and whip him to the ropes, but Mental ducks underneath their attempted double-team move, and sends them both to the mat on the rebound with a stiff double lariat. Judge picks Johnny up and whips him into the far corner, and rushes in after him, crushing him with a running charge into the corner. Mental is so busy hammering Johnny in the corner, that he fails to notice Wildchild run up behind him, grab him in a waistlock, and pick him up off his feet, falling backwards and dropping him hard on his neck!

 

“Neck Drop Suplex by the Wildchild,” screams Axis, “and this could be anybody’s match right… Oh my Gawd! He nipped up! He nipped up! Wildchild just nipped up! He’s still got some fight left in him!”

 

Wildchild momentarily clutches his neck in pain, but then raises his arms above his head, and again makes the sign for the Wild Ride! The crowd roars as he picks Judge up to a standing position, stands in front of him, and hooks both of his arms. Before he can spin around, however, Mental starts to stand straight up, breaking free of Wildchild’s grip, and standing with Wildchild perched on his shoulders, then shrugging him off and falling to the mat in a sitting position, driving Wildchild into the canvas face-first with an Electric Chair Drop!”

 

“Ha-ha,” crows the King. “He countered the Wild Ride! That scouting report by Ejiro paid off! Mental’s gonna win this thing!”

 

Judge Mental wearily stands to his feet, grinning evilly down at Wildchild and pointing to his blood and sweat soaked “Magnificent Seven” T-shirt.

 

WHAM!

 

So preoccupied with Wildchild is Judge Mental that he fails to notice Johnny Dangerous scale the top turnbuckle and leap off, snaring Mental’s head as he passes over, and driving him to the mat with a flying Diamond Dust!

 

“OH MY GAWD~! Takedown,” screams Axis. “TAKEDOOOOWN!”

 

“No,” screams Suicide King. “This can’t be happening!”

 

Johnny runs to the corner and springs back onto the top rope, leaping off with a frog splash, and changing his body direction in mid-air to land directly on top of him!

 

“Secret Splash,” cries Axis as the referee runs into position to count the pinfall. “This is gonna do it!”

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEE!

 

 

The timekeeper rings the bell as Funyon lifts the microphone to his lips. “Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, with a final score of three falls to two, The Wildchild, and Jooooohny Daaaaangerooooous!!!!”

 

Suicide King slams his hands against the announce table in disgust. “I hope these two are proud of themselves! Two against one! And the Judge still almost took it all!”

 

“My Gawd, what a main event,” exclaims Axis as the referee raises both victors’ hands into the air. “What a Wrath! For the Suicide King, I’m Axis, wishing you good night from the Joe Louis Arena. We’ll see you next time for more great SJL action!”

 

SJL Logo flashes on the screen as we:

 

FADE OUT