Dark passions

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

(The door is ajar, words are barely audible, but they can be made out. Every now and again a muffled gasp escapes from the room. A heavyset man in work gear sits just outside, making sure no one can see him, and nervously jotting down everything he hears.....)

 

Woman 1: *muffled* mmm... but you can't keep....

 

woman 2: Shhhh, I have it all under controll.

 

Woman 1: but... but he hurt you!

 

Woman 2: Only physically... *muffled moans* It's all according to plan...

 

Woman 1: *louder* Plan? You plan to get beaten without fighting back? You plan....

 

(The man covers his mouth and nose, desperately trying to hold back a sneeze...)

 

Woman 2: Shhhh! Look into my eyes... do they look crazy?

 

Woman 1: .....no

 

(The man seems to have conquered his body, and goes back to taking notes....)

 

Woman 2: Do you trust me?

 

Woman 1: .......yes

 

woman 2: Good. I have a plan, it involves everyone. I could very well....

 

*ACHOO*

 

(Without warning the door bursts open, and before he can even begin to fathom the sequence of events, he up against the wall, staring at two intimidating brown eyes... encircled in Red.)

 

Lady Red: GUS????

 

Gus: heh.... hi....

 

Red: SHUT UP! What did you hear?

 

Gus: n-n-n-nothing Ms. Eclec...

 

Red: LADY RED! And WHAT did you hear????

 

Gus: N-n-n-n-nothing! I swear!

 

(Molly comes out from the small room, slightly disheveled and more than slightly cross)

 

Red: Nothing? Really? (looks down) And I suppose that notebuck is just brimming with nothing, isn't it?

 

Gus: *silent*

 

Red: heh... *shakes Gus* ISN'T IT?

 

Gus: ALRIGHT!!!! I was taking notes, I've been told to look after you....

 

Red: *staring* by who?

 

Gus:..... Ben Hardy

 

Red: BULL FUCKING SHIT! Who ordered you?

 

Gus: ...I can't say.

 

Red: *staring hard, but then letting go* ...Fine. Tell whoever the hell ordered you what you heard, I'm sure it won't matter.

 

Gus: *coughs* Thanks... again, I don't mean to be doing this, and I know you have a reputation for being rather strict with your punishments....

 

 

*SMACK*

 

Gus: AAAAIUGH!

 

Red: *retracting her hand* That still doesn't mean you get off for overhearing any intimate moments.... leave. Tell 'Hardy' what you know.

 

Gus: *rubbing his face* ....fine.

 

(The beaten cameraman runs off, notebook in hand.)

 

 

 

 

(Lady Red turns to Molly)

 

Red: All under control.

 

Molly: How can you be sure you can't be stopped?

 

Red: *taking Molly by the hand back into the room* Simply... no one expects me to get my way by.....

 

(the door shuts)

 

--------

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can you guess Red's plan?

 

-Annie

[Guest chirs3]

*muffled moans*

 

Best... promo... evar.

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

thinks back to the ever-infamous 'The Date' promos when she was TV champ.....

 

 

the JL taught me well sir

 

-annie E

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Red's plan eh?

 

Actually what's really got me concerned is the mention of this "notebuck" thing.

 

What is this strange "notebuck" and what's it doing in the SWF?  Gah!  It's probably after my commissionership!  I must kill the notebuck!

 

Oh...and I didn't see any mention of your PPV match in there.  How am I expected to sell this show if you people can't stay focused?

 

Mothernature just saw the notebuck lurking in the bushes!"

[Guest]

I'm watching you missy. No one defeats me in stip matches, so don't you even think about more than 10 pages of hardcore lesbian action.

 

I'm only going 10, and I will not be beaten by the likes of you!

[Guest realitycheck]

Rotten, if you write just six pages of that, you'll be elevated to the status of 'My personal hero and Pagan God.' Granted, I switch that around pretty much every week, but shhh...

 

Uh? The promo?

 

Well I was really digging it...

 

...then I remembered that Lady Red is supposed to sound like Joan Rivers, and my opinion dropped to unyeilding indifference.

 

What can I say? I'm wishy-washy.

 

Oh, and plus there was only suggestive audio not any actual action. Which doesn't really make it like the dating promo's. More like a bastardized sequel, you know, the type where you go to the theater and and when you come out of the movie you say something like 'This series had so much potential, but the director deviated, and now it sucks.' And then one of your friends tries to say how the changes were benificial to character development, but is interrupted by your other washed up English Major freind, who's near suicide beacuse of the fact that in one scene Lady Red's Femme Kabuki make-up is messed up, but in the next scene which is just supposed to be seconds later it's PERFECT and then you all argue about that on the ride home.

 

Man, I hate when that happens.

 

-Z

::waves around sign reading 'Stop Gus Abuse!'::

[Guest]

Awsome promo, oh and tell Ban Hardy, I said hi alright?

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

Nice promo there. Since you're all dark and evil, and shit like that, this is much better than any of the date promos. Yeees... sadistic lesbians hiding captive women behind locked doors and commencing unbelievable tortures... *ahe* But wheres the daggers? Aren't you supposed to throw sharp instruments of death and tetanus at that t00l Gus?

 

Oh, and Cutthroat... Ben Hardy had nothing to do with, uhm, anything. Gus was lying when he said Ben Hardy.

 

"E-duh!"

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

*Stunners Hardy*

 

*Stabs Lady's knocker*