Team Kotzenjunge's Leader Rules All

[Art Sandusky 0]

EVENT: TEAM KOTZENJUNGE RULES ALL XVII (UNLIKE TEAM FRIGIDSOUL RULING ALL XVII YEAR OLD BOYS LOLHOMOGAYQUEER2004)~!

SITE: Madison Square Garden

DATE: June 12th, 2004

 

V.S.

 

Kotzenjunge versus Zack Malibu

Before the match, Reuben Studdard came out to sing the National Anthem. Kotzenjunge threw a pear at him, and Reuben exploded. However, the laws in New York are very strict as they relate to hurling citrus at large, gut-bellied, reality-show pop singers, which prompted the arrival of Kotzenjunge's first opponent...that foil preppy, ZACK MALIBU. Kotzenjunge quickly reminded Zack Malibu that, even though he dances, and that dancing rules, that his clothes sucked. Zack Malibu became furious, but then Kotzenjunge threw a peanut at him and Zack Malibu agreed about his hair. The bell rang, and the match was underway. Zack Malibu came out of the corner with a running lariat, but Kotzenjunge ducked and returned fire with a "Kotzai-Moonsault" that sent Zack Malibu through the ropes to the outside. Zack Malibu was dazed, and Kotzenjunge climbed to the top rope and flew to the outside with his dreaded "K.J.X." splash. Zack Malibu was sent to the floor, cracking his prep-nuts on a nearby child. The child was unharmed, because Zack Malibu's nuts were small, and delicate. Zack Malibu made his way to his feet and slowly climbed back into the ring. Kotzenjunge pointed at the ceiling, and said "Look! A naked Dustin Diamond!" which prompted Zack Malibu to quickly look toward the heavens (because Zack Malibu is queer, if you get my hint). Kotzenjunge quickly scurried behind Zack Malibu and jumped on his back. Kotzenjunge then proceeded to administer his "Disco-Star-Sleeper" while simultaneously ripping out all of the hair in Zack Malibu's head. Kotzenjunge quickly glued said hair back onto Zack Malibu's head, and Zack Malibu became motionless. Then, Kotzenjunge ran in front of Zack Malibu and yelled "SAY WHO'S THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD," to which Zack Malibu became animated again...and started singing "my milkshake brings all da boys to da yard." Kotzenjunge had, through the plucking of Zack Malibu's prized hair, shocked Zack Malibu into think that he was a really, really, really, really, really worthless piece of one-hit-wonder-pop trash (as opposed to the obvious correct answer, which was Kylie Minogue)! Zack Malibu was promptly pantsed by some drunken sailors in a pub later, and Kotzenjunge was declared the victor.

 

V.S.

 

Kotzenjunge versus DerangedHermit and Angle-Plex

Noted for their performances on Team FrigidSoul, DH and AP were prepared to give Kotzenjunge a FrigidBeating. Their plan might have worked, had it not been for the fact that both of them suck and Kotzenjunge hates posters that absolutely suck. This match was a walk in the park for Kotzenjunge. He basically toyed around with the former Gang Wars all-stars, making them cry several times because he stole their shoelaces and replaced them with licorice. Then, he ate the licorice and wiped his ass with their faces. The match came to a quick close when Kotzenjunge smashed 89 barstools across their respective faces, rendering them both mute and diabetic. Then, Kotzenjunge called the NYPD and reported DH and AP for being assholes, because they did not invent Tetris like he did. They were promptly arrested and taken to prison where they were sold on eBay.

 

More to come, as more results from this futile attack on the leader of Team Kotzenjunge are made public.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Kotz, man, you're taking all of this too far. Your over-extension of the game is making you look like the biggest loser in the draft. And considering that Choken One is playing against you, being a bigger loser than him is the bottom.

 

I say this because I care.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Have to admire the dedication though.

 

...

 

No you don't.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

Kotz, man, you're taking all of this too far. Your over-extension of the game is making you look like the biggest loser in the draft.

Its all he has now Banky. Just like John Nash had thought he was working for a secret installment of the U.S. government, Kotz has begun to think that everybody really thinks this matters. It died two days ago and yet he still lives in his world of dillusions. I think a full frontal labotomy is the only way to go at this point.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Speak for yourself, bubs. The moment Banky feigns some kind of aggression towards anything, there you are again. Going the "I'm above this stuff" route when all you can do is repeatedly harp on Popick and say some of the most flagrantly stupid things about him one can imagine ("You should be a Jew in Nazi Germany," I mean, come on) sure does smack of being above things. Or is being above things harassing someone for no real good reason about their dead mother? Maybe being above things means going and creating a REBEL E-FED MESSAGEBOARD~ where no one really cares much to follow you over there. Then again, I could start PMing people to ask about girls I'll never meet. Nah, I should just ask for people's phone numbers on messageboards that I'm arguing with. Perhaps alienating myself from everyone else with my gloating over a professed lack of remorse over actions, making it sound as if I'm the biggest sociopath this side of Gheyme, not only at this board, but at every messageboard I visit is the path to glory that would lead me upon the golden stairway to being "above things." Bah, it's all so clear to me now, I never was quick with things, silly lil' me. Being above things means that I hover in threads as an anonymous user and wait for someone to post something remotely related to me so I can IM them immediately and make a comment on it, or IM them just to draw their attention to my latest senseless and antisocial posting adventure.

 

Come one, come all, see FrigidSoul the amazing meterological buoy, he can gauge the climate and bob up and down with whatever the current is at any time, lacking any kind of propulsion to send itself against the current, not for want, but a lack of want for it.

 

Doesn't help that it has that big-ass psychopathic weight holding it down either.

[Nighthawk 0]

SOCCER MOM'D

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Great. Now I'm horny.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Speak for yourself, bubs. The moment Banky feigns some kind of aggression towards anything, there you are again. Going the "I'm above this stuff" route when all you can do is repeatedly harp on Popick and say some of the most flagrantly stupid things about him one can imagine ("You should be a Jew in Nazi Germany," I mean, come on) sure does smack of being above things. Or is being above things harassing someone for no real good reason about their dead mother? Maybe being above things means going and creating a REBEL E-FED MESSAGEBOARD~ where no one really cares much to follow you over there. Then again, I could start PMing people to ask about girls I'll never meet. Nah, I should just ask for people's phone numbers on messageboards that I'm arguing with. Perhaps alienating myself from everyone else with my gloating over a professed lack of remorse over actions, making it sound as if I'm the biggest sociopath this side of Gheyme, not only at this board, but at every messageboard I visit is the path to glory that would lead me upon the golden stairway to being "above things." Bah, it's all so clear to me now, I never was quick with things, silly lil' me. Being above things means that I hover in threads as an anonymous user and wait for someone to post something remotely related to me so I can IM them immediately and make a comment on it, or IM them just to draw their attention to my latest senseless and antisocial posting adventure.

 

Come one, come all, see FrigidSoul the amazing meterological buoy, he can gauge the climate and bob up and down with whatever the current is at any time, lacking any kind of propulsion to send itself against the current, not for want, but a lack of want for it.

 

Doesn't help that it has that big-ass psychopathic weight holding it down either.

pwned.

[Nighthawk 0]

I'm afraid that I've already responded with the new pwned. An era of new slang is dawning.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Now that I read it, he was pretty fucking pwned/soccer mom'd.

 

Frigid, your response?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I'm afraid that I've already responded with the new pwned. An era of new slang is dawning.

I'm too old to change IDRM.

 

I'm going to stick with tried and true and let you guys deal with the new slang.

 

NO POBO!

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

Nice shot. But not really breaking any new ground.

[DerangedHermit 0]

Speak for yourself, bubs. The moment Banky feigns some kind of aggression towards anything, there you are again. Going the "I'm above this stuff" route when all you can do is repeatedly harp on Popick and say some of the most flagrantly stupid things about him one can imagine ("You should be a Jew in Nazi Germany," I mean, come on) sure does smack of being above things. Or is being above things harassing someone for no real good reason about their dead mother? Maybe being above things means going and creating a REBEL E-FED MESSAGEBOARD~ where no one really cares much to follow you over there. Then again, I could start PMing people to ask about girls I'll never meet. Nah, I should just ask for people's phone numbers on messageboards that I'm arguing with. Perhaps alienating myself from everyone else with my gloating over a professed lack of remorse over actions, making it sound as if I'm the biggest sociopath this side of Gheyme, not only at this board, but at every messageboard I visit is the path to glory that would lead me upon the golden stairway to being "above things." Bah, it's all so clear to me now, I never was quick with things, silly lil' me. Being above things means that I hover in threads as an anonymous user and wait for someone to post something remotely related to me so I can IM them immediately and make a comment on it, or IM them just to draw their attention to my latest senseless and antisocial posting adventure.

 

Come one, come all, see FrigidSoul the amazing meterological buoy, he can gauge the climate and bob up and down with whatever the current is at any time, lacking any kind of propulsion to send itself against the current, not for want, but a lack of want for it.

 

Doesn't help that it has that big-ass psychopathic weight holding it down either.

tl;dr

[Boner Kawanger 0]

I bet I could rule all if I was basically in charge of this...but then I'd have to put up with -iB- playing moderator to threads like this. Keep up the good work, guys!

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Oh seriously, you fucking wannabe moron, tell me where I was "playing moderator"?

 

In saying that, it sounds as if the stick up your ass is because you want be one and/or because you're a token asshole to get over with a faggy username.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

someone named "Beau" is accusing someone else of a faggy name?

[Guest FrigidSoul]

I'm guessing that was an attempt to try and make me want to continue playing this game.

 

I'm just curious as to why you really came back to this place. I mean when I asked you why you hadn't been posting much a month or two ago your response was "HardCore discussion is stale. Its all old and the people there aren't worth my time.". For a bunch of people who aren't worth your time you certainly do look for their acceptance quite a bit. Its starting to slowly make sense though how this world is far too tough for somebody like you. I bet more often than not you were beaten up at school, humiliated by having your pants pulled around your ankles, and led on by girls who laughed behind your back the moment you turned the corner. All of that made you escape into a world where rejects gather away from society in large cornfields with flurocent lighting. You take E because you don't yet know of the natural extacy that comes from kissing a girl. Its understandable though, girls don't often fall in love with people who look like they came from the Cancer Unit and got large doses of kemo the day before. That however may explain why you love bright colors, tight spandex, and those stores that sell nothing but multiple fragrences. I applaud you for not giving up though, I mean one gender turns you down completely so you move right on to the next...I'd say you could always move on to dogs when men don't start taking your offers but last I heard your future lover is on its last legs...or paws you could say.

 

The funny thing about the whole number stuff is that while you make fun of me for asking for the phone numbers of two people to smooth things out(which was in order to try and get some server space of my own from Dames at the time...you do have to talk to people for that kind of thing to work) there you are plastering your phone number up for the world to see on AIM and god knows where else. I'm the one crying out for attention here? I guess in order to be quiet and laid back I should place the word "Call" in the largest font possible followed up by my phone number and god knows what else you throw into that little profile.

 

As I previously said, insults are meant to hurt people, and when I said the things to and about Popick or to BBCW it wasn't to try and get them to smile and feel great for the rest of the day. I'm not going to insult you though, I'll just share with you a glimpse of your future to come.

 

As you sit in a chair all alone, listening to your princess Kylie, and dying of AIDS from either the needles you chose to share in those cornfields, or whether you contracted it from the homoerotic experiences you're likely to encounter remember one thing. All the people that aren't worth your time here are going to be raising families and living happily. At least you have the distraction of doing whatever it is you did in the first post of this thread though to hold you over until then.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

5.7

[Guest FrigidSoul]

On the SuperStar scale?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

on the Popick Crying scale.

 

It had decent points but you relied heavily on pre-concieved notions and insults that have been used on Kotz before.

 

You'd be better off picking targets that have largely ignored by other posters. Blaze your own trails.

 

We all have our favorite targets.

 

Mine being Popick and Agnes.

 

Reach for the stars, FS, reach for the stars.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

What was it that you exactly did to cause him to cry anyways?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Long story shortened...

 

Popick was having trouble with Caboose, Agnes, and Supes. All of whom I was/am tight with. at the time I was one of the main mods/bookers in the OAOAST as was Popick.

 

Agnes was disgruntled because he was being treated as a joke constantly and I came up with an idea that would change that and even said I'd put him "over".

 

Popick refused and got all pissy. Agnes left. Supes ended up leaving too as had Caboose and IIRC Sandman.

 

Finally I blocked him on AIM and I "resigned" from the OAOAST and basically called him out in the Mod folder and I think a thread or two.

 

I covered this in more depth and detail in one of TMO's Article's. I think it was the "OAOAST Drama" edition.

 

It's been a long time since it all happened so I'm a little hazy on some things.

 

You can always try and find threads in the OAOAST folder but a good number of those have been edited/deleted/moved.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

I just went and looked for TMO's take on the OAOAST. While doing so I found my first insult to the man they call Popick

 

Oh cry me a river.

After reading one of the threads mentioned I think you're perfectly capable of doing that yourself.

 

memories...

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Tell me, should I even bother reading the posts in this thread? Is it worth my time? I'm curious...

[Boner Kawanger 0]

1)wannabe moron

 

2)faggy username.

Look at what I can do.

 

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

Well, they certainly seems to be trying now.

[DerangedHermit 0]

1)wannabe moron

 

2)faggy username.

Look at what I can do.

 

Pot, Kettle, Garrett Morris?

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

We all know FrigidSoul is awful, but these past few days have shown the worthlessness of DerangedHermit.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Here's the funny thing: While you all think that I did that just to get FS interested in this, quite the contrary. I really legitmately dislike him and have since I kept having IMs popping up telling me how great his cancer mockery was.

 

And while I insulted you using things that everyone here has seen, you made up some weird preconceived notion of how I am based on horror films (cornfield? In coastal South Carolina) and musical tastes. I could call you a destructive meth freak with ratty black clothes and a penchant for animal sacrifice based on your tastes, but I'm pretty sure you're not. The "get AIDS" insult was terrible in the first place, and it's one thing Mere Exposure Effect isn't working for either.

 

I would think that by my considerable participation in this and in the board in general that I think of this place as much more interesting, instead of "a month or two ago," which, to my recollection, has never been confused with "now" as a possible synonym.

 

Lovely homosexual jokes that turned into beastiality accusations. At least it's something sort of new. Yeah, once again, I talked about things everyone here has seen, you're just stabbing with your safety scissors (sharp things aren't allowed near you at times no doubt) in the dark, hoping you hit on something that might be remotely factual. And WOW, you even brought the tired "you probably got beat up in school" remark. If I was merely beat up in school, you must have been gang-raped by your entire graduating class to produce the laundry list of problems that plague you to no particular complaints of your own.

 

And you saying that I'm trying to gain acceptance is almost as lame as leaving here, then saying you'll post sporadically, then using a gimmick for a few days, then posting more, and eventually annoying us all more than before you left because you're right back where you started. All this is of course after you valiantly challenge the moderating team and do more than your part to allow some issues that should have stayed in the OAOAST spread across the board, and gladly. Nothing screams "accept me" like that kind of activity.

 

I put my number up on away messages because people call me when they see I'm not online. Pretty fuckin' simple if you ask me. "God knows what else" I put in my profile? I continued reading, and sadly didn't see this turned into a weak insult about homosexuality, pedophilia, beastiality, contracting disease, or "bright colored lights."

 

Damn. I've always wanted to hear one of those. I hear they're killer.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

Oh no! Kotz doesn't like me! Whatever shall I do?! You want to start a whole thing on insulting people, then people actually say hurtful insults and you say "That isn't right ".

 

I speak my mind and don't give a shit what others have to think about it. Don't like it? Oh well, scroll on past it. I promise you I won't lose any sleep.