Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted June 28, 2004 [We cut to the grounds of a Mansion in New York. We see Rob Gilbert jogging around a track wearing an Orange suit and orange pants.] Rob Gilbert - Let me tell you this.. this is an absurd outfit.. to jog in [Gilbert snaps his fingers and we see that he's now wearing a wifebeater and bicycle shorts and he has headphones on.] Gilbert - When I was growing up, I wasn't allowed to listen to most music, because it's crap. I'm therefore jogging to classical music. It makes you smarter, not deaf. [Gilbert jogs a bit more, stops, catches his breath and continues] Gilbert - I'm jogging in this wifebeater so I can relate to the common man. You see, I hear the common man will be coming to see me wrestle in Omaha. Therefore, I want to know how he thinks without having to hit myself in the head with a brick. I figure that by doing this, I will be able to dispense more of my good advice from 18 years as a rich young male. [Gilbert keeps jogging.] Gilbert - First piece of advice. Use deodorant. Please, Randy Johnson might be ugly like you all, but let me tell you this, use right guard. Or, if you want to be be better smelling, use cologne or perfume, anything. And remember that if you choose to bathe before you come to the show, please do it in a bath tub, and not in the Missouri River. [Gilbert jogs to a bench and sits down.] Gilbert - Rosenblatt Stadium will be the scene of history. Not the college world series, but the debut of Robzilla. In fact, it will be renamed Rob Gilbert stadium soon, in honor of my victory there. [Mitch Duncan walks up to Gilbert and hands him a bottle of water.] Gilbert - I hear i'm facing Manson and somebody named Eunech. Mitch Duncan - Munich Gilbert - Yes, I know Munich is in Germany. They filmed Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory there. I've been there. My family employs one of the original Oompa Loompas as a butler. So? Duncan - The other opponent is named Munich, not Eunuch. Gilbert - You mean he's not an eunuch? Duncan - He might be, you'll have to ask him when you have time. Gilbert - Anyways, I guess Bremen, Dresden and Salzberg were taken. Anyways, Manson and Munich are both very capable wrestlers, well, I suspect they are good. They're probably both very hungry competitors fighting to get out of the trailer park, or where-ever common wrestlers like them live. But, that reminds me.. I'm hungry too. [Gilbert snaps his fingers and we cut to him in the dining room, eating a sandwich. We cut back to him in the gym.] Gilbert - That's better. You see, you fans will get to see my greatness tomorrow. I am preparing for my victory. Now, hit the training music. ["The theme from Miami Vice" plays as we cut to Gilbert in a wrestling ring. He arm-drags his opponent. He then arm-drags him again. He randomly struts and then whips his opponent into the corner. Gilbert turns his opponent around and hits him with a Tornado DDT. Gilbert walks to the corner and we see a slow-motion shot of his frog splash. We cut back to ringside where Gilbert is drinking water.] Gilbert - Let me tell you about my opponent there. He's a New York legend. He's Mr. Pat Watley. [We get a closer shot of Watley, who appears to be an aging and overweight prelim wrestler.] Gilbert - He's wrestled for 15 years, and i'm the best you've faced, right? Watley - Yeah daddio! Gilbert - Now, I didn't hit my finisher on the legendary Portugeese Pat, because I don't want to knock him out. Watley - Thank you for your generousity daddio! Gilbert - But, I will unleash Straight out of Chappaqua on either Manson or Rotterdam. Watley - His name is Munich, daddio! Gilbert - Pat, I got something for you. [Gilbert gesters off-screen and he's handed a bottle of wine, which he hands to Watley.] Gilbert - knock yourself out! Watley - Yeah daddio! [Gilbert snaps his fingers and we cut back to the track, where "The Theme from Miami Vice" plays and we see Gilbert jogging on the track. We cut back to Gilbert, drinking water, sitting in a chair.] Gilbert - Now, I will advise the fans of the SWF to make the following moves to make my match tomorrow most pleasant. Please, do not buy beers. First off, American beer is nothing compared to Wine. But, I don't drink or smoke. Drinking and smoking are weird common man things that I won't get, because I won't be miserable enough to start them. Manson and Munich will fell my wrath, for you see, let me tell you this, I will unleash the reign of terror on them. Robzilla will leave them out in the cold. For money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys the elements essential for it. Yeeeeah. [We cut to scenes of Gilbert playing tennis and jogging in his orange suit and pants as "The Theme from Miami Vice" plays.] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted June 28, 2004 That was... weird. Apart from the finger-clicking scene changes though, a very good promo and it outlines Robzilla's character VERY well. Nice. Now prepare to get flattened by the wrath of Berlin. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted June 29, 2004 And to clarify.. the song is called "Crockett's theme" (Jan Hammer) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Golgo 13 0 Report post Posted June 29, 2004 OH HAY D00D! U THINK U CAN BEAT ME!? ID LIEK 2 C U TRY! I LAUGH AT UR F00LISH ASSUMPTION! THIS IS ME LAUGHING = ULL FALL 2 TEH POWERS OF MANSONOSITY! AFTER WHICH ILL TAP DANCE ON UR MANGLED CORPSE!! LMAO! THIS IS ME LAUGHING AGAIN = P.S. DUNCAN AND WATLEY ARE TEH SUX!1 /promo Edit/Correction. /my best promo ever Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
