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JoeDirt

What has wrestling taught you?

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Guest INXS

I've learned never to trust anyone, always to be on the look out for the con in anything as well.

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1. Forklifts are routinely left unattended with the keys in them

OR

2. Forklifts can be hotwired by damn near everyone.

 

3. If you do something, and no one is around to videotape it - it didn't fucking happen.

Corollary: If it did happen, expect everyone to forget about it in two weeks.

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Guest Staravenger
Of course Sting ended up getting his ass kicked anyway. Bah well.

But it was a historic moment: Sting fooled someone not named "Sting".

 

If a heel comes out on crutches, he's faking it and ends up breaking a crutch over a babyfaces head. If not the former, they still do the latter no matter what (to cover up the HHH/Owen bits).

 

You can survive as many chair shots as possible but one pedigree will knock you out for a minute.

 

If you have a nose that resembles Gonzo the Great, it will never break.

 

Anna Nicole Smith was hot in Naked Gun 33 1/3....whoops, wrong folder.

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Guest Greg Valentine
My new suitemate is a guy from Memphis who owns a guitar.

 

I'm steering clear of THAT motherfucker.

:lol: Thanks man, that was the funniest thing I've heard all day.

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If your lucky enough to pick up a chick, watch her like a hawk because she will turn on you and get it on with your biggest enemy.

 

If you miss a legdrop it hurt likes hell but if you hit it you dont feel a thing. Ditto dropkicks.

 

Any weapon you could ever desire to use can be found under a wrestling ring.

 

Billy Gunn sucks.

 

Having a snappy catchphrase will make you popular regardless of if you have talent or not.

 

Security guards will escort through the crowd even if your appearance was 'unplanned'. (see Randy Orton last Monday for a good one on this)

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Guest Fook

If you're going to put someone through a table, make sure you move the monitors first.

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Guest Staravenger
If you're going to put someone through a table, make sure you move the monitors first.

I learned that Tyson Tomko sucks.

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A chair shot outside the ring will stun you for up to ten seconds. However, a chair shot inside the ring will leave you out cold for 4-5 minutes.

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If someone tries to run you down with a semi truck and kill you, but you wrestle a match a few weeks later and that guy's stablemates get in a disgreement with him, you'll always take his side and make up with him just like that.

 

"I know, I know you tried to kill me...water under the bridge!"

 

Also, if a rogue company...say ECW...invades a bigger company...say the WWF/E...the sound guys will have the smaller company's theme music cued up just like _THAT_.

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It's a bigger accomplishment to win a belt, drop it, win it back, drop it, win it again, drop it, win it, drop it, and win it again in a period of time, than to hold the title the whole time.

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Guest Staravenger

The dumber you are, more pushes you will get. Biggest example: Jim Duggan and Warrior.

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I have learned that holding onto ropes of any kind and/or pulling on someones pants will automatically give you enough strength to win

 

 

 

 

I also learned that missing a move from the top rope and hitting the mat hurts more then hitting a 300 pound wrestler with your head or body

 

 

 

I have learned that ddt will only end the match if it is you finsiher

 

to add to that, any move can put the opponent down forever, as long as you call it your finsihing move

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