I've successfully alienated a couple of my friends

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

A small infraction from nearly a year ago has recently come to light, and now my social life shall take a bit of a hit.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

This translates into me drinking beer alone while on cold medication.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

what did you do, studmuffin?

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Involves a girl.

 

Women are pretty much the worst thing on the planet, I think.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Involves a girl.

 

Women are pretty much the worst thing on the planet, I think.

You shouldn't have defecated in her purse.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

That was like seven years ago. This new problem started back in November.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

You've still got us.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

That was like seven years ago. This new problem started back in November.

What could you possibly have done to aggrevate your friends? It should be between the two fo youse...unless you help her captive with your mistress and repeatidly burned her with your crack pipe.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Oh god.

 

EDIT: Addressed to Spiff, natch.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

You've still got us.

Please don't drive him to suicide.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

That was like seven years ago. This new problem started back in November.

What could you possibly have done to aggrevate your friends? It should be between the two fo youse...unless you help her captive with your mistress and repeatidly burned her with your crack pipe.

It's a long story. I'll say one of the dudes has every right to be upset; the other dude has taken this high and mighty attitude about it, so fuck him.

 

What happened between me and the girl wasn't much, really, but I suppose the whole issue of trust and the fact it was kept secret for nine months kinda burns.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Bah. It'll all blow over.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Yeah, I know. It was all already starting to blow over—it became public two weeks ago—but this one dude we both know only just found out about it and called me today to tell me what kind of asshole I am. I was shocked at first (this guy's saying all that seemed totally against his nature), but now I'm just really pissed at him. Like, how dare he?

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Plus, I'm really sick and this Dayquill + beer isn't affecting me like I hoped.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Drink them interchangably. Not a mere spoonfull or two, but large cups of it. Try Nyocitran while you're at it. They'll be calling the morgue.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I only have it in pill form! Is that the problem?

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

For all the shit this is stirring up, it seems like a waste that she and I never fucked. I mean, might as well.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

For all the shit this is stirring up, it seems like a waste that she and I never fucked. I mean, might as well.

Be apologetic, invite her over for a cup of tea, then pounce.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Apologize to her? She's as guilty as I am.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Apologize to her? She's as guilty as I am.

I thought she dropped the dime on you? Sorry, I filled in the details of the incident as I pleased, I assumed you did something mean to her and your friends took great offense.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

This was completely mutual.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

This was completely mutual.

Either way, invite her over, and fuck in celebration of mutually being on the shitlist of your friends.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I'm fairly certain I have whiskey dick right now.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I'm fairly certain I have whiskey dick right now.

Thought you were drinking beer, hotshot?

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I've never heard it called "beer dick," so...

 

Too Drunk to Fuck

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I've never heard it called "beer dick," so...

 

Too Drunk to Fuck

If you can type perfectly fine, you should be able to get your dick hard. I've fucked in some of my most dire conditions.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I generally read and reread over my words prior to posting them, when intoxicated. I could never live with myself if I became one of those "drunk" typists.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I generally read and reread over my words prior to posting them, when intoxicated. I could never live with myself if I became one of those "drunk" typists.

Don't be so hard on yourself, drunkne posting can't be quit the delicious experience. Its a nice change up.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I'm gonna go lay down in bed and listen to music in the dark. Sleep will come soon, hopefully.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I'm gonna go lay down in bed and listen to music in the dark. Sleep will come soon, hopefully.

If the barf becomes lodged in your thought, sit up.