Leon Sharpe to run for President in 2008

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

Former SJL superstar and cult sensation Leon Sharpe will run for President of the United States as a Republican in the 2008 elections. Here are his comments on the issues and current news.

 

Leon Sharpe on..

 

The Republican National Convention and Protestors - "If they want a war, they should get one. If they want to protest peacefully, they should do it in their own damn states. New York City is crowded enough without thousands of whackjobs holding signs"

 

Iraq - "Honestly, we should find a way to cut the testicles off of the resistance"

 

The Swift Boat Veterans - "They validate everything I've learned about the media. That the media is ratings hungry, liberal and out of touch. They keep bringing this up for ratings. They slide it against these guys and they're clueless. I guess the truth hurts"

 

His own military service - "There wasn't a war, so I never served"

 

The fact that he graduated from High School in 1991 and there was a war around that time - "Well, the other soldiers did a pretty good job. Don't mess with success"

 

Iran - "They can't be trusted"

 

Economy - "It's pretty good right now, and once elected, I'll make Hong Kong seem communistic"

 

Tax Cuts - "I'd prefer to keep the tax cut that I was given."

 

The Income Tax - "It should be repealed"

 

What should replace it - "We should repeal all federal drug laws and then find ways to tax the hell out of people who go to buy the stuff"

 

Abortion - "It's no skin off my ass if some woman is irresponsible or something bad happened to her. If she wants to do it, she should."

 

Campaign advertising - "McCain/Finegold is a disgrace. Banning or restricting 527 groups is a stupid idea. Survival of the fittest."

 

Gay Marriage - "There's more important things to be concerned about."

 

Separation of Church and State - "You know they put that in for a reason. I don't want to have to do any mandatory BUTT-kissing to any religion."

 

Sex Scandals - "If you're without sin, you should be able to throw out accusations"

 

Potential Sex Scandals involving him - "I'm not married, so I can have sex with whoever I damn well please. I can't cheat by definition."

 

Drugs - "If you want to do them, you're responsible for the side effects. If your destiny involves overdosing on cocaine then why stop you?"

 

Cuba - "Saturate them with our stuff. We're not the problem here. If we lift the embargo, Fidel Castro will not allow Cubans to just get Leon Sharpe t-shirts and all that. Therefore, we look good and he looks like a jackass"

 

Video Game Violence - "If your priorities put stopping violent video games over stopping real violence then maybe you should look into removing your head from your ass"

 

War on Terror - "It requires better airport and airplane security. It requires better monitoring. It requires moles in these groups. It requires cutting off supply lines. Sadly, I don't think much of that is being done."

 

Immigration - "If you're an illegal immigrant, President Sharpe will deport you. I wouldn't let an intruder in my house stay even if he was doing an important task. As for the effects, some people are just going to have to get off the unemployment rolls and take the crappy job"

 

Race - "It's not important. But, Bill Cosby said some stuff that I could never get away with saying"

 

Outsourcing - "It was destined to happen. If you're a company, do you pay somebody $5.15 or 25 cents? Companies have to make money too. If having jobs in America is made profitable, then factories will return. The Minimum Wage is too high as well. Just my personal opinion."

 

Education - "Trillions of dollars spent won't make a difference unless they buy mind control devices to make the kids want to learn"

 

College - "You know there's probably a good reason why college is so expensive. Once I find that reason, I will work to eliminate it"

 

His Political and Economic Philosophy - "Capitalistic Libertarianism. The Government is not your mommy. You are not stuck in the passenger seat. You should get into the driver's seat and make yourself a living."

 

Wrestling between now and 2008 - "I think I could do it. It'd work out fine for the campaign fund."

 

Offending people - "So what?"

 

Supporting Bush over Kerry - "I'd rather be kicked in the ass than in the balls. Let's face it, with my income situation, John Kerry will raise my taxes. And let's face it, I might need some of that money sometime"

 

His campaign slogan - "SHARPE - A shout, not an echo"

 

So yeah.. Leon Sharpe is open to questions on the issues and on his radical right-wing viewpoints.

 

A shout, not an echo

[Toxxic 0]

Video Game Violence - "If your priorities put stopping violent video games over stopping real violence then maybe you should look into removing your head from your ass"

 

You know, I really can't fault that.

[Crowe 0]

The Income Tax - "It should be repealed"

 

What should replace it - "We should repeal all federal drug laws and then find ways to tax the hell out of people who go to buy the stuff"

 

Abortion - "It's no skin off my ass if some woman is irresponsible or something bad happened to her. If she wants to do it, she should."

 

Gay Marriage - "There's more important things to be concerned about."

 

Separation of Church and State - "You know they put that in for a reason. I don't want to have to do any mandatory BUTT-kissing to any religion."

 

Drugs - "If you want to do them, you're responsible for the side effects. If your destiny involves overdosing on cocaine then why stop you?"

 

Video Game Violence - "If your priorities put stopping violent video games over stopping real violence then maybe you should look into removing your head from your ass"

 

College - "You know there's probably a good reason why college is so expensive. Once I find that reason, I will work to eliminate it"

You have my vote.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

A STATEMENT FROM CANDIDATE SHARPE:

 

"Once I am nominated by the Republican Party in 2008, I will decline to field a Vice Presidential candidate. I feel that the position is irrelevant. Vice Presidents should be appointed like Secretaries of State or Attorney Generals. That is all."