Promo: Storm match up

[Guest carnage]

06October2004

 

Dear Diary:

 

I enjoyed my first match last night. It was a lot of fun. I particularly enjoyed giving rKade a Tombstone Pile driver at the end. That was exhilarating.

I have just found out I am on the next wrestling card. My opponent will be a man by the name of Uncle Filthy. I have been told he is a Pirate.

I don't like filthy people. Most of them are very annoying. They think they are smarter than other people because they don't feel the need to engage in proper hygiene. They tend to be fat and sweat a lot. They also tend to like to talk way too much. I think if you’re going to be fat and sweaty you'd at least be quiet. I don't like filthy people. They are annoying.

My first thought is I had an uncle once. His name was Uncle Bruce. He wasn't filthy but he had questionable taste in music. I remember driving once with him to New York. He played a lot of Barry Manilow music on that trip. That made me angry.

I never saw a real life pirate. I watched a lot of pirate movies on TV. I never really liked any of them thought. They all wear eye patches and go around waving swords in people’s faces and saying, "shiver my timbers". If they were so talented with the swords how come they all wear eye patches? Pirates annoy me.

So I get to go to Oregon on October 8th. I think that means I have to ride another plane. I hope this plane will serve Coke instead of Pepsi. If not I am going to kill Uncle Filthy for making me fly for 4 hours drinking only Pepsi. I really don’t want to kill him. I just want to torture him a bit, perhaps dismember a few limbs. It would be great if I ripped off both his legs and one arm and he

Went around crawling on his belly waving his sword saying,” Shiver me timbers”

That would be cool

 

But I digress

 

I am not taking Uncle filthy lightly. One thing those 9 years of electro shock therapy has taught me if never take people with metal objects lightly—but I am planning on shivering his timbers at SWF Storm.