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The King Of Canada


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Guest Sylvan Grenier
Posted

You may have caught the King Of Canada making a cameo in OAO Raw, and want to know more. As we mentioned in OAO Raw, Edge cannot claim expertise on voting systems, as he is, in fact, a Canadian. And we all know that Canada is not a democracy--rather, it is ruled by a constitutional monarch--that is, a monarch who is constituted of particles, such as atoms, molecules, quarks, Quark Xpresses, and Adobe PageMakers. Every twenty years, Canada elects a king, who serves a life term. The King Of Canada is elected by the Ottawa Senators, who in addition to legislating, also play hockey on their off days. The King Of Canada has complete power over the entire Dominion, except Newfoundland, which he delegates to a special committee, as he does not feel it is worth his time; and Labrador, because there is only circumstantial evidence that it exists in the first place.

 

Where does this King live, anyway? The King Of Canada resides in the Dominial Palace, located in the nation's capital, Canada City. Canada City is located within the Federal District Zone, which is on the border of Manitoba and Quebec. It can be reached by the Highway To The District Zone. The Dominial Palace is also Canada's seat of government, as the King sits there, and governs. He is advised by the Court Of Advisours, who are supposed to form subcommittees to handle problems in the country, but instead, they just sit around and whine about how the Winnipeg Jets shouldn't have moved to Phoenix.

 

thekingofcanada.jpg

This is the King Of Canada, King Creighton Barrault. He is of mixed Quebecois and Haligonian descent. He enjoys Labatt more than Molson, the Oilers more than the Maple Leafs, and also fancies a plate of fries with the finest gravies and cheeses. He subscribes to WWE Raw Magazine, as mentioned in OAO Raw, but this may be a postal mishap more than anything else. But what is most of important of all is that King Creighton, First Duke Of Missassauga and King Of Canada, is the best world leader in North America. And I wish I was Canadian, so I could bow before my noble king, or have a better understanding of the Canadian political system. I hope you found this informative.

Posted

Wait a minute, how does a non-Canadian know so much about our king?

Someone's been spying on us! Quick, call the mounties!

Posted

I'm so glad we took over this folder. It's a Utopia, like Amsterdam.

 

Remember, this fucker may be the balls in Canada, but I'm your fucking ruler 'round these parts.

Guest suplexmasta
Posted

That's it. I'm moving.

 

VANCOUVER HERE I COME!

 

Ready the quasi-legal medicinal herbs!

 

Back bacon and back bacon flavored potato chips will now enter my diet, where they will soon clog my bowels with a heapin' hunk of 100% Canadian fecal matter.

 

God Bless Canadia... er, Canada!

Posted

Oh Canadia

Our home and native land

God is Mr. Spock

And all the lambs command

 

With shiny sporks

And 2 by 4's

The true north strong and free

Oh Canada, we wear Right Guard for thee

 

God keep our land

Glorious and free

Oh Canda we wear Right Guard for thee

Oh Canda we wear Right Guard, FOR, THEE!!

 

NO FLAKEY WHITE STUFF!

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