SWF Lockdown

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"I sure wish Thoth and Zed marked quicker," says Comet.

 

AND LOCKDOWN IS UNDERWAY!!!!

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

3...

 

 

2...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

LOCKDOWN~!

 

 

 

...but no pyro. Instead, we're greeted by the equally loud jeering of the Seattle crowd as in the ring stand the former Intercontinental Television Champion Max King, his manageress Kelly Connelly... SWF referee Sexton Hardcastle... and the SWF's head honcho, The Suicide King.

 

S.King: "Ladies and gentlemen...tonight is yet another important night in the SWF as we build up towards Ashes II Ashes, live on Pay Per View. And we have a lot on tap tonight, so I wish not to keep you long. Before I can continue though, I need one more person out here. Landon Maddix..."

 

King literally spits out the name of the new ICTV Champion, to a pop from the crowd. The two Kings and Kelly scowl at those, with Kelly whispering something to a despondant looking Max.

 

S.King: "Maddix...I don't have all night. So, if you could get out he..."

 

 

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

And King doesn't have to wait too long, as "Megalomaniac" by Incubus starts to rip through the Key Arena and the new ICTV Champion emerges through the curtains. In the crowd, various signs are picked out, with the like of "3 TIMES! 3 TIMES! 3 TIMES!", "LANDON IS YOUR GOD~!" and the immortal "PEPSI MADDIX!" All to cover the time, as Maddix and Megan stroll down the aisle, eventually entering the ring together. Maddix looks a little confused, as he turns to the crowd and raises his title belt in the air for them.

 

S.King: "Alright, cut the damn music! Cut it! Maddix...first of all, wipe the grin off of your damn face because I'm not out here to throw you a celebration party. I'm sure you and your 'woman' are pretty damn proud of yourselves. Huh? Three time Intercontinental Television Champion."

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

S.King: "Impressive. I'm impressed. Really, I am. But, at the same time, I'm also hardly surprised. Not for the fact you're a three time ICTV Champion. More for how you became a three time ICTV Champion. Incase you hadn't noticed, I have one Sexton Hardcastle here..."

 

King turns to the rather meek looking referee, who flinches slightly.

 

S.King: "Sexton...if you would, I'd like a quick summary of what YOU did and saw on Storm. In your own words, if you would."

 

Hardcastle: "Wel...well, Mr King. Uhm..."

 

S.King: "Not to pressurise you Sexton, but this show has an airtime. NOW TALK DAMN IT!"

 

Hardcastle: (nervously) "I saw...Max King going into the dumpster, and I saw Landon Maddix closing the lids to secure the victory. That...that's all I saw..."

 

S.King: "Really? Can the truck please roll the footage from Storm?"

 

 

 

-)(FOOTAGE FROM STORM)(-

 

Kelly is screaming now, imploring her man to finish the job. He seems more concerned with his aching sternum however, so Kelly takes matter into her own hands and rushes over to the dumpster. Holding her nose, Kelly touches the first lid with her face screwed up and pushes it up and over!

 

 

Riley: There's one!

 

Kelly smiles and shuffles to the side, looking to flip the second over like the first. But before she can, Sexton Hardcastle runs over and stops her!

 

Riley: What!?! What's he doing!?!

 

Comet: Serving her a big, cold slice of JUSTICE~!

 

Indeed he is! Hardcastle positions himself in between Kelly and the dumpster, ordering her that she cannot win the match for King and the crowd are going nuts! Kelly cannot believe it, giving Hardcastle a tongue lashing...for which she earns banishment, to a HE-UUUUUGE pop from the crowd!

 

 

*TIIIIIMEWARP~!*

 

The crowd groan as King suddenly gets another attack of wooziness and stops for a moment, pausing to get his wits about him once more. And once he does, the first thing he sees is Landon Maddix laid out on the mat, ready to be used as a landing pad. Smiling, King adjusts himself on the top of the stepladder as he begins to ready himself for a dive. But before he knows it, Megan Skye has entered the ring and charges the ladder...managing to get enough force behind her charge to topple it...

 

 

 

...sending King and the ladder falling to the side...

 

 

 

 

...AND KING CRASHING INTO THE DUMPSTER!!!

 

 

S.King: "CUT IT! CUT IT OFF NOW!"

 

 

-)(END OF FOOTAGE FROM STORM)(-

 

 

An increasingly frustrated King gets his wish as the footage ends, and he turns back to glare at Hardcastle...who is darn near shaking in his zebra stripes at the moment.

 

S.King: "Explain..."

 

Hardcastle: "Well...err, I..."

 

S.King: "You know what, there's no need. We've SEEN the footage. We've SEEN what happened. So I'LL explain. You banished Kelly Connelly to the dressing room for interfering in the match. In a match with No Disqualifications I might add, Mr Hardcastle. But yet, you did nothing at all when Megan Skye pushed Max King into the dumpster. Now, correct me if I'm wrong Mr Hardcastle, as I have never officiated a dumpster match. But surely, if Kelly's actions warranted banishment from ringside, then Megan's did also. So, surely, if what Kelly did was wrong then...what Megan did was wrong."

 

Hardcastle: "Well...yes..."

 

S.King: "I've heard enough. Mr Hardcastle, you can leave."

 

Hardcastle nods, waiting to get some feeling back into his jelly-like legs before hurriedly leaving the ring and walking off to the back.

 

S.King: "Oh...and you can expect a rather significant deduction from your paypacket this month Hardcastle. I don't tollerate incompetence."

 

 

"MADD - IX! MADD- IX! MADD - IX!"

 

With Hardcastle gone, Suicide King turns his head towards the still grinning Landon Maddix. And the look he gives him could freeze the depths of hell. Or, something.

 

S.King: "So it seems we have a dillema. Here YOU are, holding the second most prestigious championship in the SWF. Despite the fact that you didn't earn it, you don't deserve it...and most importantly of all, you wouldn't have it were it not for refereeing incompetence. Face facts Maddix. Without that woman on your arm, you wouldn't be the champion. She interfered. Threw powder in Max's eyes. Pushed him into the dumpster. All things that she should have been banished from ringside for, to make things fair. If Kelly deserved to go, so did she. If King wasn't allowed to win with Kelly's assitance, you shouldn't have been allowed to win with Megan's help. Which leaves me with a dillema. I have spoken with Ms. Connelly, who is to say the least unimpressed with the SWF's handling of this matter. But I am here to appease her tonight, by doing the right thing...

 

 

...so hand over that title to me, NOW!"

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Comet: What!?!

 

Riley: Oh yes! Thank goodness for small mercies. The Suicide King...fighting for justice!

 

Maddix scoffs at King, but it's clear he's being deadly serious. Meanwhile, Max and Kelly look on from over King's shoulder with beaming smiles, as Maddix turns away from King nonchalantly to get a microphone.

 

S.King: "You don't need to talk about it Maddix, just ha..."

 

Maddix: "Wait a second, King. Let me get this straight here, because I'm not sure I quite understand what in the hell you're talking about here. I understand you still hold this little grudge over me...what with me retiring your 'golden boy' Flesher and all. But, are you seriously expecting anyone to buy this crap about your suddenly discovered 'moral obligations'. I mean, come on. You can't strip me of the title...

 

S.King: "Oh, that's just it. I'm not stripping you of the title...as such."

 

 

Suddenly, Max King charges past his Suicide namesake and wipes out Maddix with a BRUTAL clothesline! Maddix and the belt go flying as Max suddenly explodes, putting the boots to Maddix with some serious verocity. And before Megan can jump into help, she get tackled to the ground by Kelly Connelly! While this chaos ensues meanwhile, Suicide King steps calmly into the middle of it all and retrieves the ICTV Championship belt...calling Max off of Maddix, who is hurting.

 

S.King: "Maddix...you were so proud to be the three time Intercontinental Television Champion, right? Well you needn't bother. Because as of this moment, am I announcing that on Storm...there WAS no title change. See...I can't 'reverse' the decision without wheeling a dumpster down here and throwing your sorry carcuss in it. But I'll go one better. As far as SWF records read, Max King lost the dumpster match. But he retained his title, on a executive decision! And as far as SWF records are concerned, that means that Max King never officially lost the ICTV Championship. And your 'oh, so prestigious' third ICTV Title reign...never officially happened."

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Comet: "Oh, come ON...this is ridiculous!"

 

S.King: "You people don't like it? TOUGH CRAP! I'm doing the right thing for this belt and this company by teaching the cheaters of this company a lesson, as to what happens when you try to screw with Suicide King's system!"

 

Comet: "Can you believe this!?! This isn't teaching Maddix a lesson...this is carrying out a personal grudge! This is horrible!"

 

Riley: "This is JUSTICE!"

 

Comet: "...I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

 

Max King is now smiling broadly from ear to ear, as Suicide King turns to him...seeing Max's hands out-stretched. The two King's exchange a knowing nod, ignoring the inscenced crowd as Suicide places the ICTV Championship into Max's hands. Max quickly greets it like an old friend, holding it to his chest with a booming laugh, before turning and holding the belt in the air.

 

S.King: "Now, with that out of the way...I have another piece of business Maddix. And it involves you. I may be able to strip you of the title you never should have won, and I can do the right thing by giving the belt back to it's rightful owner. But I cannot erase the result of the dumpster match. I cannot wipe the memories of every SWF fan that saw Max King placed in a dumpster and shut in the trash...but I can offer him an outlet to add his own memories into the heads of the SWF fans. I have spoken in depth to Ms. Connelly and she has indicated that her client wants a chance to set the record straight. A chance which he is gonna get! See...I've come to a decision. It's going to be Landon Maddix versus Max King...at Ashes II Ashes 2004! And, before you and your lawyers complain about your rematch clause not being properly fulfilled, it will be for the Intercontinental Television Championship! Oh...and in an attempt to apologise for the humiliation Max King has suffered this past week at the hands of YOU and your BITCH...I'm allowing him the right to apply any stipulation, or stipulations, he may wish to this match."

 

Riley: "Sounds fair to me, Comet!"

 

Comet: "Oh stop kissing his damn ass would you!"

 

S.King: "With that said...Maddix, enjoy your match tonight with Jamie Drazon. And Max...seeing as you've taken his gold away, how about you leave this sont nosed little s*it something to remember tonight by?"

 

Laughing, Max turns to Kelly and hands her his newly re-acquired title belt, before strolling across the ring. The Suicide King is meanwhile exiting the ring, a wry grin on his face as he swaggers back up the ramp, not even bothering to look back to the ring as Max pulls Maddix up to his feet. Stepping behind Maddix, King quickly hooks on the reverse front facelock, grabs the leg...and PLANTS Maddix with a big-time King Buster, causing the irate crowd to go even wilder. Meanwhile, Megan is beginning to get back up and tries to help her man out. But for her troubles, she takes a belt shot from Kelly Connelly!

 

Comet: "Oh...DAMN IT! This is wrong Robert, dead wrong!"

 

Boos fill the Key Arena, as the smiling twosome of Kelly and Max shake hands, before Kelly passes Max the ICTV Championship belt...which he promptly hoists into the air.

 

Riley: "There he is! STILL the ICTV Champion! What a glorious start to the night Comet!"

 

Comet: "This is ridiculous...Landon Maddix has been robbed, beaten and humiliated by Max King. Kelly Connelly has laid out Megan Skye with that belt. The Suicide King...I'm sickened. The actions and abuse of power, being shown by King, are just reprihensible, and he's proved it yet again here tonight! We'll be right back Citizens...with, hopefully, something a little more enjoyable for you all."

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

rKade/Kaine? DNS doesn't just stand for "Domain Name Service" anymore boys and girls...

 

 

it's...

 

 

 

(wait for it)...

 

 

A NEWBIE DOUBLE NO SHOW!!!!!!!!

Edited October 14, 2004 by Grand Slam

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Backstage at Lockdown, the “Urban Legend” Todd Cortez, clutching a bottle of Arizona RX Energy drink in his hand, makes his way through the arena hallways, looking for an empty locker room. As he walks down the hall he stops and scowls into the camera, but we turn and see it’s not that he’s mad at the cameraman. No, instead the glare is directed at Spike Jenkins, member of Revolution Zero and all around sh*t-stirrer. Oh, and he’s also Todd Cortez’s partner tonight.

 

“Hey, partner.” Greets Spike, albeit in his typical patronizing fashion.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“Well, first of all, you know you’re more than welcome to change in the Revolution locker room.”

 

Cortez remains tense, looking as if he’ll yank Spike’s head off his shoulders within an instant.

 

“Wait…I get it. You’re pulling that whole “somber recluse” stunt since your boy is gone, huh? The whole “I’m not going to be friends with anyone else because no one measures up to my best friend who isn’t here because Toxxic sent him packing back to community college” gig. Well, you know what Todd…you DO have a partner now…”

 

Jenkins puts his hand on Cortez’s shoulder, and looks at him with a slimy grin reserved for used car salesmen.

 

“…and that’s me.”

 

Cortez flinches his shoulder, knocking Spike’s hand off, and drops his gym bag, inching closer to Spike and backing him against the hall wall.

 

“Let me tell you something, Spike” begins Cortez in a soft, but firm voice. “I don’t know what the matchmakers had in mind with this. I’m not going out there because I’m gonna start drinking Toxxic’s Kool-Aid and leech onto you guys. I’m out there out of dedication to my job. I have a shot at gold tonight. A chance forge a legacy of my own, so that one day I can measure up to the people who carried this federation. Whether you like them or not, guys like Tom Flesher, guys like Mike Van Siclen…they kept this place afloat through thick and thin. You wanna take everything for granted because you’ve latched on to a guy who doesn’t deserve the belt he wears? You wanna hide behind Sean Davis because your balls can’t back up your mouth? Maybe you should pull them out of Jet’s mouth then, and start looking around you, because…”

 

“Whoa, whoa whoa. Don’t go there. You know Todd, I’m trying hard to be a nice guy to you, and if you’re not accepting of my graciousness…”

 

“The only thing you should be ready to accept is the fact that tonight, win or lose, it all goes back to normal for us. Whether I get the pin or you get the pin, it…”

Spike interrupts Cortez yet again. “Heh, WHETHER I get the pin? You mean WHEN I get the pin.”

 

“Well now, I’ll have to tag out in order for you to do that.”

 

Spike scowls at Cortez, who smirks in reply. Jenkins then thinks to himself for a moment, and you can almost see the lightbulb form over his head.

 

“OK Todd, we don’t like each other. It’s been proven as fact. Fine. I can deal with it for the sake of gold, and I’m sure you can too. So we’ll agree to disagree on, well everything. Now, as far as the fall in the match, let’s make it fair for both of us. The guy who gets the fall is the guy who picks who gets what title shot. You get the pin, you get first dibs, and I’ll take the sloppy seconds. But it’s going to work both ways. You think your stubbornness can handle compromise like that?”

 

Cortez looks ready to tear into Jenkins, but thinks wisely of potentially injuring the same man he’ll need to rely on in a little while.

 

“Deal.”

 

“Shake on it?”

 

“Don’t push it.”

 

“Well, now that we’ve settled that, go get changed. Oh, and don’t worry. I promise to be a better partner than Mike was.”

 

Spike turns and walks away after that comment, as Cortez looks ready to pounce, but Jenkins scurries off. Fuming, Cortez turns and picks his gym bag up off the hall floor, but as he lifts his head up, he finds himself looking into the eyes of the returning Alan Clark.

 

“You lost? Oh wait, that kinda goes along with that whole Wayward thing, don’t it?”

 

Clark chuckles to himself. “Cute. Although admittedly, I’m a bit lost in thought right now.”

 

“I’ve got news for you, bro, thinking that hard ain’t no good unless you act on it.”

 

With those cryptic words, Cortez brushes past Clark and into a locker room, leaving Alan to ponder what he said (along with whatever else it was he was thinking) as the scene fades out.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

“Welcome Back to SWF LOCKDOWN!!” Cyclone Comet exclaims as the Key Arena lights begin to dim. The crowd gives a polite round of applause to Funyon as he jogs up the steel ring steps and into the ring. The dapper announcer heads briskly to the microphone as he goes into his intro.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen the following is a hard-core match. Allow me to introduce the participants…first hailing from Greensboro North Carolina and weighting in at 227 pounds…EVAN…DOUGLAS…WOOOLLLFFFEEE!!!”

 

"I can't feel...

The way I did before

don’t turn your back on me

I won't be ignored!"

 

Linkin Park's "Faint" powers through the speakers as Evan emerges, walking at a brisk pace down the ramp as a single white strobe light, trained on him, lights up the ramp. The crowd unleashes a vociferous round of boo’s at the rookie grappler. Wolfe holds a thick steel chain coiled tightly in his right hand.

 

“His opponent hails from parts unknowns and weights in at 307 pounds…Allow me to introduce…CARRRNAGGEE!!!”

 

“Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the…..FLOOOOOORRR!!!”

 

A fountain of white pyro’s explode from under the JumboTron as the towering Carnage emerges from behind the curtain. He walks with a purpose to the ring as the arena falls quiet. The enigmatic superstar slips under the bottom rope and goes directly to his corner. The crowd notices he has bought what appears to be a baseball bat with him to the ring.

 

“Also making his way to the ring he hails from the magical world of your imagination…weighting in at 256 pounds….UNCLE FILTHHHYYY!!!”

 

The lights cut out and the instrumental Jazz From Hell version of Frank Zappa’s “Let’s Make The Water Turn Black” begins playing over the arena speakers.

A single pair of white lights come on at the base of the entranceway, as Gorilla Pete and Cap’n Plundah clumsily dance out onto the ramp, enthusiastically waving to the crowd and trying to start an “Un-cle Fil-thy” chant. As they make their way down the ramp, additional sets of lights are lit along its sides, until the ramp is lit all the way to the bottom.

Uncle Filthy’s wheezing, vaguely snarling voice booms over the music...

 

“Whaddaya say, kids!?”

 

As the same words appear on the JumboTron, in brightly colored, randomly shaped letters.

 

Some of the crowd responds with “UNCLE!”, while others scream, “ASSHOLE”

 

A small burst of cheap-looking yellow pyro farts out from the entryway rigging. Seconds later, a white spotlight hits the entrance, revealing Uncle Filthy standing at the top of the ramp, carrying the Magic Bindle over his shoulder. He waves to the crowd then breaks into a run, with the spotlight following him to the ring. He ducks between the ropes and stands in the center of the ring. He unbuttons his sweater, revealing the thought of the day, “I BELIEVE!”, Filthy then waves to the crowd again as its shown on the video wall. Uncle Filthy takes in the luke warm reaction as Gorilla Pete and Cap’n Plundah make their way to ringside. Uncle Filthy takes his corner, holding tight to his Magic Bindle.

He glances at Carnage who is glaring at him from across the ring.

 

“And finally…hailing from Newark New Jersey he weights in at 275 pounds…Ladies and Gentlemen…DANNY DAGGGDAAA!!!”

 

“Tearing Everybody Down” by Anti-Flag kicks up and the bursts of red pyro followed by pyro cascades down from the JumboTron and blankets the front entrance ramp. Dagda storms down the entrance ramp and goes directly after Gorilla Pete and Cap’n Plundah. The erstwhile ring escorts of Uncle Filthy run from the area and quickly head to the back.

 

“It looks like Uncle Filthys’ crew has abandoned ship” quips Robert Riley as Dagda rolls into the ring holding a crow bar in his hand.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen the following is a hard-core contender match…” Funyon starts as the four opponents stand in their respective corner. The crowd is particularly animated this evening as the wrestlers have all bought an assortment of weapons into the ring. In his corner Danny Dagda is holding a crow-bar as he glares across the ring at Carnage. The SWF resident psychopath is seen lovingly fondling a baseball bat that is decorated with barbed wire and other miscellaneous sharps protruding in every direction imaginable. Across the ring Uncle Filthy is sifting through his Magic Bindle which appears larger than normal for this particular event. Evan Douglas Wolfe looks pensively across the ring at the unholy trilogy of opponents he is facing tonight. While Wolfe is not normally a weapons style wrestler he has bought along a thick steel chair for the match.

“The winner of this match will become the number one contender for the hard-core championship” Funyon continues as he looks for the nearest escape route from the ring.

“The first wrestler to secure a pin fall will win the match. “Other than that there are no rules in this contest”

As Funyon quickly runs out of the ring referee Joe Horman steps in. He quickly calls for the bell as the match gets underway.

 

“This match should be barbarism at its highest” Cyclone Comet spews as Robert Riley intently watches the action in the ring. “A weapons match with these participants clearly has the potential to be a hard core horror show”

Robert Riley takes a sip of his gin and tonic.

“Blood-sport” he barks as the action gets underway.

 

Evan Douglas Wolfe begins to twirl his steel chain in a wide loop as he heads towards Carnage. The masked psycho appears unimpressed as he locks eyes on his 19 year old opponent. As Wolfe moves in he is hit hard from behind by Danny Dagda. The impact sends the kid to the mat where he is nailed with several brutal kicks to the head and neck region. As Wolfe is down Uncle Filthy quickly dives for the steel chain and pulls it away from the prone rookie.

Dagda is met with a thunderous clothesline across the throat as Carnage introduces himself to his opponent. He follows up with a series of blistering knife chops that force Dadga to take a few steps back. Carnage continues the attack with a wild kick to Dagda’s gut that knocks the big man to the ground.

As Carnage is occupied with Dagda Uncle Filthy steals the masked mans barbed wire baseball bat. He locks his hands around the barrel and prepares to do his best Barry Bonds on Carnage when he is nailed with a missile drop kick from the now recovered Evan Wolfe. The impact sends Filthy to the mat and the bat flying out of the ring.

 

“Thank heavens that bat is gone” Cyclone Comet exclaims as Carnages bat falls outside the ring and to the floor.

 

“I know”, Robert Riley snips. “Nothing like a hard-core match without weapons”

 

Carnage pulls Dagda to his feet and is rewarded for his efforts with a swift kick in the balls. As Carnage hunches over in pain Dagda grabs him around the waist and hits him with a side suplex. He wastes no time in going for the cover

 

ONE

TWO

 

Carnage kicks out as Evan Wolfe runs over to make sure Dagda does not get the pin fall. Wolfe fires a sharp kick to Dagda’s head while in the area. This enrages the thug who springs to his feet and charges at Wolfe. The attack is countered into a drop toe hold which lands the already annoyed Dagda face first to the mat. Wolfe fishhooks Dagdas' right arm and locks it behind his back.

As Wolfe applies pressure on Dagdas’ shoulder Uncle Filthy reaches into his Magic Bindle. He removed an old can of Raid and sprays it into the face of EDW. This sends Wolfe running to his corner rubbing his eyes in pain.

 

“What did that vagrant just spray in Evan Douglas Wolfe’s face?” Robert Riley blares in anger.

“It appears to be a can of Lysol” Cyclone Comet responds calmly.

“It can’t by Lysol” Riley rants. “That hobo has never even heard of Lysol!”

 

While Wolfe struggles to clear the burning chemicals from his eyes he is met with a savage clothesline from a charging Carnage which crashes Wolfe’s into the turnbuckle. The young man falls face first to the mat.

 

Carnage stands over the fallen Evan Wolfe and bends him backwards. The crowd cheers wildly as Wolfe is placed in the Camel Clutch. This immediately wakes EDW who screams in pain as the masked man cranks down hard on Wolfe’s lower back. The referee awkwardly sidesteps the mayhem going on in the ring as he asks Wolfe if he wants to quit.

 

“He’ll never quit”. Exclaims Robert Riley as Wolfe struggles with the hold. “This is Evan Douglas Wolfe your talking about.!”

 

On the far side of the ring Uncle Filthy wraps the steel chain around his fist. He charges over to Carnage and nails him with a vicious right to his face. This breaks the Camel Clutch and sends the huge Psycho to the mat in a heap. Uncle Filthy wastes no time in going for the cover.

 

ONE

TWO

 

Danny Dagda pulls the crusty old Pirate off Carnage and unloads a series of forearms to Filthys’ jaw. As the crowd watches intently grabs Uncle Filthy by the head and sets him up for a DDT. The move is counters with a swift punch to the balls courtesy of the Filthy one as Dagda covers up in pain. Uncle Filthy fires a steel chain enhanced punch to Dagdas’’’ jaw which sends the thug to the mat hard. He quickly covers him for the pin.

 

ONE

TWO

 

Carnage pulls the pirate off and immediately fires a series of brutal punches to Uncle Filthys’ head. He grabs the steel chain and unravels it from Filthys right hand as the crowd cheers on. Carnage grabs the chain and wraps it around Uncle Filthys’ neck and starts to choke the life out of his opponent.

 

“Rip that bastards head off” Robert Riley yells on encouragingly.

“It would appear that Carnage is intending to do just that.” Cyclone Comet responds.

 

Evan Wolfe, who has finally cleared enough of the bug spray from his eyes to see fairly well, finds Dagdas’’ crow bar lying on the mat. He grabs the handy weapon and sends it crashing across Carnages’ back. Carnage screams in Pain as he releases Uncle Filthy and turns his attention to his attacked. Wolfe nails the Masked Psychopath with another crow bar shot…this one across his chest…that sends Carnage retreating to his corner. Wolfe follows the big man and shoots a missile drop kick to Carnages knee which drops the grappler to the canvas. EDW quickly jumps to the rope and nails the fallen Carnage with a Moonsault. He quickly covers his opponent for the pin

 

ONE

TWO

THR—No! Danny Dagda pulls Wolfe off and nails him with a hard punch to the temples. Dagda quickly covers Carnage himself.

 

“Danny Dagda is going to steal this match” exclaims Cyclone Comet.

 

ONE

TWO

Carnage kicks out with authority.

 

“Close one” Robert Riley states.

 

Dagda turns his attention to Evan Wolfe as he fires a sharp knee to Wolfes back and pulls the young man to his feet.

 

“Showtime, baby!” he yells as he fires a series of dancing snap jabs to Evan Wolfe’s face. Dagda does his best Mohammed Ali impression as he mocks his opponent. The fun is abruptly ended as Carnage nails Dagda with a blistering clothesline from behind.

 

“Cowardly attack” blurts Robert Riley as Carnage fires a series of kicks to the ribs of the fallen Danny Dagda.

 

“But very effective” Cyclone Comet responds.

 

Uncle Filthy again opens his Magic Bindle. He pulls out a handful of tacks and sends them flying to the mat. The tacks land close to Evan Wolfe who is struggling to get his bearing. Filthy charges the younger opponent and sends him sprawling onto the tacks.

 

“Holy Pin-cushion” Cyclone Comet exclaims as Wolfe screams out in pain. The superstar quickly rises from the canvas covered with hundreds of thumb tacks protruding from his back. His screams of agony are ignored by Uncle Filthy who fires a direct kick to Wolfe’s balls. This sends his opponent back to the mat where Uncle Filthy quickly goes for the cover.

 

ONE

TWO

TH…No! Wolfe kicks out.

 

Uncle Filthy wastes no time in covering Wolfe again. This time he hooks his opponent’s leg and the referee starts the count once more

 

ONE

TWO

 

Again Wolfe kicks out. Uncle Filthy signals three to the referee, who responds with an emphatic two. Evan Wolfe fires a quick punch to Filthys’’ jaw which knocks him to the mat.

 

“Stunning right hand from Evan Douglas Wolfe” Robert Riley gushes as Wolfe gets to his feet. “That might have broken that hobo’s jaw!”

 

Carnage positions Dagda is an abdominal stretch. Instead of going for the submission move he brings him up and turns it into a Pump Handle Slam. As Dagda is positioned over Carnages shoulder he breaks free and slips down Carnages back. Dagda grabs Carnage by the waist and surprises the masked man with a release German Suplex.

 

“Nice counter by Danny Dagda” Robert Riley observes as Dagda searches the ring for a weapon. It doesn’t take him long to find the crow bar lying innocently in the center of the ring. He charges towards it but before he can grab it he is nailed by a dropkick. Dagda looks up to see Evan Douglas Wolfe grabbing the crowbar. He quickly shoves Wolfe away and the two men battle for possession of the weapon.

 

“Citizen Dagda and Wolfe are playing hot-potato over the crow bar!” the spandex clad announcer calls as Dagda kicks the weapon away from his opponent.

 

“You can be sure Evan Douglas Wolfe will win that battle” Robert Riley states dismissively.

 

Dagda dives to the mat and grabs for the crowbar. At the same time Evan Wolfe makes a desperate lunge for it. A split second before either man can get to the weapon the scruffy looking Uncle Filthy pulls it away. He nails both Dagda and Wolfe with the weapon as he cackles aloud.

 

“Someone needs to kill that damned vagrant!”, Robert Riley yells as Filthy hits Evan Wolfe once more for good measure. The former kids TV show host drops as Elbow across Wolfe’s chest and goes for the cover.

 

ONE

TWO

THR…No! Carnage pulls him off and powerfully whips him to the ropes.

 

“Thank God Carnage was there to pull that filthy hobo of Evan Douglas Wolfe” Riley gushes as the young grappler tries to get to his feet. Carnage quickly grabs Wolfe in a front-face lock and drops him hard to the mat.

 

“That no-good crazy bastards!” Riley blares as Carnage goes for the pin fall.

 

ONE

TWO

THR…No! Danny Dagda breaks up the pin.

 

“The referee has lost all semblance of control in this chaotic encounter” Cyclone understates as Dagda and Carnage unload on each other in the center of the ring. Dagda gets the better of the exchange and drives Carnage to the corner. He fires a series of kicks to the masked madman’s abdomen which drops him to the floor.

 

Uncle Filthy once again reaches into his Magic Bindle. As his hand disappears into the red kerchief he feels an arm wrap around his head. Evan Douglas Wolfe leaps into the air and nails Filthy with a bulldog. As the stunned pirate quivers on the mat Wolfe grabs the Magic Bindle and reaches inside.

 

“A brilliant maneuver by Evan Douglas Wolfe” Riley exclaims as Wolfe pulls his hands out of the Magic Bindle. A look of shock flashes across his face as he comes up with a stained pair of shorts for his troubles. Uncle Filthy fires a quick kick to Wolfe’s balls which drops the opponent to the mat.

 

“What a rude surprise for Citizen Wolfe” Cyclone Comet chirps as Uncle Filthy pulls Wolfe to the corner turnbuckle and rams his opponents head into the turnbuckle several times. Each time Wolfe’s head hits the turnbuckle Filthy counts aloud at the impact.

 

“ The dastardly Uncle Filthy is taking it to Citizen Wolfe” blurts Cyclone Comet and Riley stews.

“Not for long!” he spits as Uncle Filthy heads to the top turnbuckle. The crowd gives a loud ovation as the ragged Filthy points to his inspirational shirt once again.

 

I BELIEVE!

 

As Filthy is caught up in the momentary adulation Carnage walks over to him and grabs him by the throat. He locks eyes on the person who defeated him in their last match and then sends him to the arena floor courtesy of a lethal choke slam.

 

“Crash and burn” Snips Riley as Filthy bounces off the Key Arena guardrails.

 

Evan Wolfe gets to his knees and slips behind Carnage. He rolls under his knees sending the masked maniac to the mat in a pinning position. Wolfe grabs a handful of Carnages tights in an effort to secure the pin.

 

ONE

TWO

 

Carnage quickly kicks out and rewards Wolfe with a quick throat thrust for his efforts.

As Wolfe hits the mat Danny Dagda nails Carnage in the back with the crow bar which sends his opponent to the mat. Dagda follows up his attack with a series of hard kicks to Carnages head as Uncle Filthy stumbles back into the ring.

Dagda tosses the crowbar to the mat and pulls Carnages head between his knees. A confident smirk flashes across his face as he attempts to get him into a pile driver. Carnage counters the move by flipping the 275 pound Dagda over his back.

The crowd cheers as Dagda goes crashing to the mat. He quickly gets back to his feet and turns to find Evan Wolfe taking aim at him. Wolfe fires a drop kick to the sternum of Dagda. The impact sends the big man to the ropes. He follows up with a crescent kick that knocks Dagda over the top rope to the arena floor.

Uncle Filthy finds the crow bar on the mat and slams it hard to the back of Carnage. The SWF resident psychopath falls' face foreword to the mat. The crazed pirate runs across the ring and picks up the steel chain as his opponent lie motionless face down on the mat. As the crowd cheers Uncle Filthy stands over the fallen Carnage and wraps the steel chain across his throat.

Evan Wolfe watches as Dagda begins to rise from the arena floor. He quickly climbs to the top turnbuckle and takes aim. As Dagda gets to his feet Wolfe goes arial and launches an impressive corkscrew Moonsault to the big man which sends Dagda crashing into the guardrails.

 

“Merciful Zeus!” exclaims Cyclone Comet. “That was impressive!”

“That was Mr. Evan Douglas Wolfe” Robert Riley gushes.

 

The referee closes into Carnage who is struggling to escape the steel chain that is digging into his windpipe. Uncle Filthy is smiling from ear to ear as the referee asks Carnage if he wants to give.

“It would appear Uncle Filthy will get the submission here!” Cyclone observes as Riley continues to watch Evan Douglas Wolfe outside the ring. Wolfe struggles to get to his feet as Dagda appears unconscious.

Carnage reaches to the mat and picks up the loose crowbar. He slams it backwards across the face of Uncle Filthy as the blow drops his opponent. Carnage removes the chain from his neck as he struggles to his feet.

“Carnage has broken free” Cyclone blurts as Riley turns his attention back to the match.

Uncle Filthy feels a gush of warm blood flow over his face as he struggles to shake on the

Crow bar to the head. His vision is obscured as the crowbar busted him open and his face is now a blood red mask. The crowd screams at the site

 

BLOOD SPORT

 

 

As Filthy gets to his feet he is immediately hoisted into the air and inverted. A look of panic flashes over his head as he realizes him predicament. Carnage locks Uncle Filthys' head between his knees

 

TOMNSTONE PILE DRIVER

 

Evan Wolfe notices the crowd reaction and turns to see Carnage folding Uncle Filthys’ hands across his chest. He tries to run into the ring but his legs are weak from the collision with Dagda,

 

The referee drops for the count

 

ONE

TWO

 

Evan Wolfe slides under the bottom rope and charges at Carnage

 

THREE!!

 

DING DING DING

 

As Wolfe gets within striking distance he realizes he is too late. The referee raises the hand of the masked madman as the crowd gives a boisterous round of applause.

 

“The time of the match 27 minutes and 4 seconds…the winner…CARRRRNAGGGEE!!”

 

“A damned travesty of justice” blares Robert Riley as he notices the pained expression of Evan Douglas Wolfe’s face. “Evan Wolfe was robbed!”

 

“I can’t see your point of view to that” Cyclone states as Carnage rolls out of the ring and heads towards the back. “I think Carnage will be an interesting contender for the hard core title”

 

“And what a champion he’d make” snips Riley. “You think of a champion you think of Evan Douglas Wolfe…not some crazy old pirate and certainly not an escapee from a mental institution!”

 

Cyclone Comet takes a sip from his soda as SWF Lockdown goes to commercial.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

As the Key Arena ring crew finishes their preparations for the next match, the lights go out, making the arena a pure pit of black. The fans were not expecting anyone coming out just yet... Indeed, most are just coming back from the concession stands from after the last match. The ones in their seats start to murmur confusedly, while the ones still in the aisles are carefully picking their way back through to their seats. Meanwhile, our intrepid tag-team combo of Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley is trying to also make sense of the situation, but not realizing that they’re on the air:

 

“So what do you think is going on, Bobbo?” Comet inquires.

 

“I don’t know,” Riley replies blandly, “But maybe it’s the end of the world to take me away from working with you.”

 

“… Citizen Riley, I’m hurt.”

 

“Comet, I’m not making enough to deal with you week in and week out.”

 

“Well, it’s just your luck… It doesn’t appear that it’s the end of the world.”

 

“Damnit, I know… It would’ve happened already…” Bobby heaves a sigh. “It’s not even a power outage! See? The camera’s still working…

 

”Wait… The camera… Is…?”

 

“… Oh, shit…” And with that mood broken, and with what seems like divine intervention, the opening to “Aerials” kicks over the obviously still-functional sound system of the Key.

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

All that’s heard for several moments is the crowd and System Of A Down… Riley and Comet are still trying to sort out how they’re going to explain their apparently-broadcast statements. A decision isn’t made until…

 

BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

…After the pyrotechnics, when Comet speaks again:

 

“Welcome back to Lockdown, lady and gentleman citizens!”

 

Apparently the best course of action is plausible deniability.

 

“Apparently we’re going to have one of our current dual champions, Citizen Fury, come out and address his adoring fans!”

 

“Why?” Riley mumbles. “Why does he have to interrupt this card, that’s perfectly good without him, with some meaningless diatribe on quite possibly nothing?” Meanwhile, the aforementioned Fury…

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

…is just sliding himself into the ring, all the trademarks in place sans kendo stick… But he’s sporting a Seattle Seahawks ball cap! He snags a mike from a nearby ring hand, and looks over the assembled audience, some scrambling back to their seats. He smiles, the lights glinting off of the Hardcore Belt around his waist, and the Tag Belt over his shoulder.

 

-

 

I smile before bringing the mike to my lips, doing a slow circle in the ring, addressing the whole house as I speak.

 

“Good evening, Seattle!”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“It so nice to be here… And I want to thank you for your warm reception.”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“Now… I know I’m not on the card for tonight… And you’re all probably wondering why I’m here.”

 

“Well… There’s several reasons. One… I wanted to thank you, the fans here… And those at home… And those that attended any of our shows since I’ve been back, for their support in my return.”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“I know it sounds cliché, but I couldn’t have done it without any of you. So thank you, once again, for making me what I am, here before you, today.”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“Second… I’m here to cheer on my co-tag champion, David Cross, as he defends his ICTV title tonight.”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“Him and I had enough of an understanding to pull the titles away from Rev-0…”

 

BBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

“And put them on some deserving shoulders!”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

 

“And while we haven’t talked much, nor do we know each other well… Maybe, just maybe, there might be a new permanent tag team in town.”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

 

“And lastly… I want to talk about our favorite group of misfits… Rev-0.”

 

BBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

“Yeah, I know… I don’t like them either… But don’t worry. We’re chipping away at them slowly but surely…”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“You see… Sean Davis recently lost his Hardcore Gamers Title… And luckily, someone like me found it.”

 

I pat the title on my waist.

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“It’s in a good home, and will stay there for a long while. Sean Davis and Spike Jenkins had the Tag Titles… And those were lost… And also found a good home with a tandem like myself and David Cross…”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“And when Andrea Montgomery becomes the first woman to win to win the SWF World Title by beating Toxxic tonight…”

 

AN-DRE-A!

 

AN-DRE-A!

 

AN-DRE-A!

 

“…And we can say that the Straight-Edge Sensation, the leader of Rev-0… Was beaten by a girl…”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“We can safely say… That the Revolution… Is dead!”

 

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

“Aerials” kicks up again as I drop the mike and head backstage.

 

Even for not being in the card...

 

This could be a very interesting night indeed.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

“Welcome back to Lockdown fans! Cyclone Comet here alongside my shameless broadcasting partner Robert Riley, and we’ve got quite the interesting match up coming up next.”

 

“I don’t think interesting describes the back story to this one.”

 

“Care to clarify for the fans at home?”

 

“No, not really. I put my two cents in. I’m done.”

 

“Oh for the love of…folks, perhaps the most interesting part of this next match isn’t what’s at stake, but who makes up one of the teams. There isn’t anyway that Todd Cortez and Spike Jenkins can co-exist.”

 

“Well that’s all Cortez’s fault, Comet.” Snaps Riley.

 

“How do you figure?”

 

“Oh come on, stop playing favorites here. You saw Spike backstage earlier. He’s put the offer on the table for Cortez. He’s put his hand out for someone in need, and Cortez will hear none of it.”

 

“That’s because Revolution Zero is responsible for retiring his partner!”

 

“Yeah, well who’s the idiot who put his career on the line, huh?”

 

As the bickering over the tension between Cortez and Revolution Zero continues, the cameras cut down to the ring, where The Best Damn Ring Announcer Ever, FUNYON, is ready for the introductions to this next contest.

 

FUNYON

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a special tag team match up to determine the top contenders to both the ICTV and US Championships! The winning team tonight will have the option to decide who on the team competes for what belt!

 

The crowd is abuzz at the announcement, as it’s definitely an original way to crown new contenders.

 

FUNYON

Introducing team number one…

 

“Lap dance” by NERD kicks up, and fans begin to cheer upon hearing the song. Out through the curtain emerge both Ryan Dustin and his tag team partner Austin Sly. Dustin plays to the crowd, getting a nice pop from the Seattle crowd, while Sly begins his walk to the ring ahead of his partner. Dustin follows close behind, slapping a few hands on his way, before hopping up onto the apron, then the top rope, and finally back flipping into the ring. Sly simply watches on with a smug look on his face, as Funyon talks over the music, making the introduction.

 

FUNYON

First, hailing from Carson City, Nevada. He weights in at two hundred twenty-eight pounds. This is RRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYANNNNN DUSSSSSTINNNNNN! His tag team partner, hailing from St. Louis, Missouri, and weighing in at two hundred thirty pounds, AUUUUSSSSTINNN SLLLLYYYYY!

 

The crowd responds in kind as Sly throws his arms up upon hearing his name. Dustin takes off his trademark red camo jacket and dumps it at ringside, waving his partner over to a corner so that they can strategize before things get underway.

 

After a moment or two of silence, the arena lights shut down, leaving fans cloaked in darkness.

 

”This is all new to me, Bobbo.”

 

“Yeah well, don’t worry…I’ve been alone in the dark with a guy before, but you’re not my type.”

 

“Robert…just stop.”

 

WOO!

 

WOO!

 

BREATHE!

 

The bridge to Fabolous’ “Breathe” is heard throughout the Key Arena, as a brand spankin’ new video of Todd Cortez plays on the big screen, with green lights pulsing all around the stage area. All of a sudden, the hook hits…

 

“Yo, these n***az can’t BREATHE when I come through, hum too…”

 

…and Todd Cortez bursts out of the back, waving his arms up in a frenzied manner and getting a loud pop upon his arrival!

 

“Listen to these fans, Robert!”

 

“I’m trying very hard not to.”

 

Cortez throws up the “X” as he paces the stage, and then heads down the aisle, adjusting his wrist tape and cracking his neck as Dustin and Sly await him. Cortez pulls the cross charm that hangs from his neck up to his lips and kisses it, then slides into the ring and climbs up on the ropes, working the crowd up even more.

 

FUNYON

Their opponents…first, now hailing from Hollywood Boulevard, he weighs in at two hundred, twenty six pounds…the URBAN LEGEND, TODDDD CORRRTEZZZZZ!

 

“Would you listen to these pity cheers!”

 

“Pity cheers?”

 

“Oh come on, you don’t think that most of this reaction is coming because this guy is a lost cause now? Without Van Siclen he’s got nothing, unless he decides to wise up and get on Rev-0’s good side.”

 

“Breathe” is replaced by “Sandstorm”, and pyro EXPLODES~! Across the stage! When the smoke clears, Spike Jenkins is standing tall, alongside valet Jet, and throws his hood up, revealing his cocky demeanor. The duo strut cockily to the ring, as Spike is quick to point out flaws with more than a few fans on his way down to ringside.

 

FUNYON

His partner, accompanied by Jet, hails from Hollywood, California. Weighing in at two hundred, twenty-five pounds, this is HOLLYWOOD SPIIIIIIIIKE JENNNNKINNNNSSSS!

 

Jenkins slingshots himself into the ring twirling around, posing for the fans despite their objections to him. Cortez looks on at his rival turned ally for the evening, and Jenkins walks over and offers him a pat on the shoulder. Cortez doesn’t flinch, and instead stares down Jenkins as he removes his ring jacket.

 

With all four competitors in the ring, Funyon exits, and referee Sexton Hardcastle calls for the bell. Dustin agrees to start out for his team, while Jenkins immediately ducks out to the apron and offers Todd “encouragement” in telling him to start the match off. Cortez obliges, although not because Spike told him too, and we are underway!

 

Dustin and Cortez circle each other before locking up, with Dustin grabbing the headlock quickly. Cortez struggles for a moment, then spinning out, applying a hammerlock before segueing into a headlock of his own. Dustin pushes him off into the ropes, and Cortez rebound with a shoulder block, sending the Nevada native down to the canvas! Cortez hits the ropes again, and Dustin stays on the mat, forcing Cortez to hop over him. Todd runs the ropes, coming off the far side and running right into a hip toss attempt…but is able to block it! Todd swings around, trying to carry Dustin over with a hip toss of his own, but that’s blocked by Ryan, and he spins around so that he’s back to back with Cortez, pulling him down with a backslide!

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

Cortez rolls backwards to his feet, breaking the pin attempt at the 1 ½ count mark. Dustin approaches but gets taken down with a drop toehold, and Cortez quickly stands over Ryan, trying to hold him down to set up for The Hook Up, but Dustin crawls away and grabs the ropes to save him from Todd’s latest addition to his arsenal!

 

“Two minutes in and two attempts at an early victory. You can tell that both of these guys are hungry for the gold.”

 

“Yeah, and in Cortez’s case it’s probably so he can hock it at the pawn shop he lives above.”

 

Dustin dusts himself off, and Cortez eyes him, giving the fellow fan favorite room to recover. Jenkins objects to this show of good faith, berating his partner for abiding by the rules. Cortez doesn’t bother to turn around, and instead engages in another lockup with Dustin. Cortez uses a go behind, into a rear waist lock, but catches the elbow of Ryan Dustin on his chin as Dustin fights to break. Ryan then uses a go behind, and attempts a back suplex, but Cortez floats over, landing on his feet behind him! Dustin turns around, and is nailed by a European uppercut, and another, and a third, with the final shot sending him stumbling into a corner. Cortez follows in, running up the ropes and planting both feet in Dustin’s chest before monkey flipping him over! Dustin crashes to the canvas, while Cortez gets up and heads to the apron; then climbs the ropes, not losing focus on his opponent. Dustin gets up, dazed, and turns around…only to be met with two feet to the side of the head, as Todd Cortez connects with a missile dropkick! The crowd pops loudly as Dustin rolls out under the bottom rope, leaving Todd to soak in the adulation of his fans!

 

“Missile dropkick sends the SWF Cruiserweight Champion to the floor!”

 

Dustin reels on the outside, and Cortez takes full advantage of his predicament, running the ropes and darting under the bottom one with a baseball slide…but Dustin steps aside! Ryan yanks Cortez out to the floor, and unloads on him with a stiff open hand chop! Todd’s face scrunches up as he absorbs the impact of that blow, and then has his head taken and rammed into the apron by Dustin! Ryan rolls Cortez back into the ring, and steps up onto the apron, holding onto the top rope. He waits as Cortez gets to his feet, then jumps up and springs off the top rope, landing on Todd’s shoulders and taking him over with a springboard huracanrana! Cortez pulls himself up in the corner, but suddenly finds himself squashed in there, the victim of a running corner splash! As Todd stumbles forward, Dustin wraps an arm around his head and hooks his leg with the other, then tosses Cortez backwards with a T-bone suplex!

 

“T-bone suplex that sends The Urban Legend crashing to the mat!”

 

“He should of let Spike start the match. If he did, Ryan Dustin would be down for the three!”

 

Dustin covers Cortez, hooking the leg to keep his opponent down.

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR--!

 

 

Spike Jenkins stops the count by driving his boot into the back of Dustin’s head. Ryan jumps to his feet, ready to charge at the straight edger, but is held back by the referee; who also pushes Spike back into his corner.

 

“If it wasn’t for Spike, this match would be over. Cortez is not holding up his end of the bargain.”

 

“What bargain are you speaking of, Robert?’

 

“The agreement a team makes to go out and watch each others backs and to win the match. Spike is helping Todd, but he isn’t getting anything in return! I don’t think Todd really wants to win this match.”

 

Dustin turns back to Cortez, who is now climbing to his feet. The Cruiserweight Champion grabs Cortez by the arm, twisting it into an arm ringer. Cortez grabs at his shoulder, while Dustin pulls him towards his corner. Ryan holds his one free arm out, and tags in Austin Sly! Sly sails up to the top rope and come down with a double axe handle across the open arm of the Urban Legend! Todd tries to pull his arm away, but Austin pulls him back into an arm ringer.

 

“Axe handle off the top rope onto the shoulder of Todd Cortez!” says Comet.

 

“That was an illegal double team maneuver, Comet!” cries Riley.

 

Sly wrenches on the wrist, forcing open the hand of Cortez. Austin takes the opportunity to lock hand-to-hand in a Roman knuckle lock. Sly extends the arm of Todd back over the neck of the Urban Legend, applying pressure to the elbow and forearm with a keylock.

 

“Austin Sly is showing off his technical aptitude by trying to hyperextend the elbow.”

 

Sly pushes back on the arm. Todd leans back with his free arm and connects with a punch to the forehead of the former Cruiserweight champion. Austin lumbers back, allowing Cortez to counter the keylock into a hammerlock! Todd pulls on the arm, but Austin is able to get the go behind, and counters into his own hammerlock! Sly jerks on the arm, causing Cortez to cry out in pain. The Urban Legend takes his free arm and wraps it around the head of Austin Sly. Using Sly as a backboard, Cortez launches himself straight up into the air, trying to flip over Sly…

 

 

 

 

…But ends up dropping down to the mat, flipping Sly over with a snap mare takeover!

 

 

 

 

…. But Austin holds onto the hammerlock, pulling Todd down to the mat as well!

 

“A great display of chain wrestling on part of the former SWF Cruiserweight Champion, Austin Sly and ‘The Urban Legend’ Todd Cortez!” says Comet.

 

Todd climbs up to his feet with Austin still hovering over him. Austin pulls back on the arm, which causes a shock through the right arm of Todd Cortez. The Urban Legend leans forward, and connects with a back elbow to the temple of Austin Sly. Sly breaks the hammerlock and distances himself from The Urban Legend as he tries to shake the cobwebs out of his head. Cortez immediately hits the ropes and charges towards Sly. Austin sees him coming towards him and shoots his arm out for a clothesline… that is ducked. Cortez continues into the ropes. He bounces off the ropes and bolts across the ring towards the former Cruiserweight champion. Sly ducks his head down, hoping for a backdrop…but Cortez is able to turn midway and use Austin’s body to back flip over. Sly quickly turns around, leaping into the air for a dropkick…

 

 

…But Todd Cortez meets that with a dropkick of his own! Both men crumble to the mat and instinctively roll towards their corner. They both get to their feet and stare off across the ring at each other as the crowd claps in respect for the two athletes.

 

“Are you serious? THE INDY STANCE? Do we really need this?”

 

“Oh, quiet you. Both Austin Sly and Todd Cortez are respected and talented athletes in this company. They just put on a wrestling clinic inside that ring.”

 

“If I wanted to see a wrestling clinic, I would watch my Best of Tom Flesher: Volume 1 DVD. Now for only Twenty-Five Dollars at SmartMarkVideo.com! Own the best to see the best!”

 

“Stop shilling.”

 

Todd Cortez begins to make his way into the center of the ring, ready to continue this match…

 

 

 

 

*SMACK*

 

 

 

…Only to have Spike Jenkins slap him on the back. Spike enters the ring as the referee calls that a tag was made.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“What is Citizen Jenkins doing? Todd Cortez was going to continue the match!”

 

“Finally, Comet. Talent has entered the ring.”

 

Todd Cortez looks is aghast at his rival turned partner for this night. Spike tells him to “Watch This” as he turns towards the ring…

 

 

 

…Only to be hit with a spear by the newly tagged and incoming Cruiserweight Champion!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!”

 

“The crowd is on their feet for the beating of Spike Jenkins!” gasps Comet.

 

“Damn these Post-Rock, Grunge Hippies!”

 

Dustin hovers over the Revolution Zero member, pounding away at his forehead with punches. Spike convulses from the attacks, crawling closer and closer to the ropes after each shot to the head. Dustin jumps up to his feet and poses for the excited crowd.

 

“LETS GO DUSTIN! LETS GO! LETS GO DUSTIN! LETS GO!”

 

Spike crawls into his corner, slapping the hand of Todd Cortez!

 

“Are you serious?” sighs Comet.

 

“What? Ryan Dustin cheap shot him! Its only right that he makes the tag to the fresh Todd Cortez!”

 

“You’re joking, right Bobbo?”

 

Spike rolls under the bottom rope onto the apron as Todd Cortez enters the ring, staring a hole into the chest of Jenkins. Spike climbs to his feet, looking back at Todd and responding with a “WHAT?” Todd shakes his head in anger. He turns towards Ryan Dustin in the middle of the ring. Todd gets ready to get into the action with Dustin…when he turns around and slaps Spike’s hand! Spike looks at Todd with his eyes wide open…

 

 

…But not for long as Ryan Dustin charges into the ropes and slingshots Jenkins over the top into the ring!

 

“Damn you, Cortez! The fresh man is supposed to be in the ring! That’s how tag team matches work!”

 

“Todd Cortez is a former two time SWF Tag Team Champion. I think he knows how tag team matches work, Robert.”

 

“Maybe with his other partner, the guy who was RETIRED by Revolution Zero. But when you are teaming with Spike, you have to be smart in the ring.”

 

Spike grabs at his back in pain, as he crawls towards the opposite corner. Todd steps out onto the ring apron, ignoring the shouting coming from the direction that Jet is in. Ryan Dustin poses for the fans, before turning his attention back to Spike. Spike stands on his knees; one hand clutching his back, the other used for begging Dustin off. Dustin puts his hands together, making a “picture frame” with Spike in the middle. Spike pleads for him to back off, but Ryan will hear nothing of it. Ryan walks in towards Spike, ready to drive his fist into the face of the Hollywood Superstar…

 

 

…Only to have Spike grab at his tights and pull him backwards into the middle turnbuckle!!

 

“Smart move by Jenkins!”

 

“Smart? That was a cheap, low down, dirty shame of a maneuver!” Comet cries of injustice.

 

“That’s why it was smart.”

 

Spike points at his head as Dustin holds his jaw in pain. Spike climbs up to his feet and goes back onto the attack on Dustin in the corner. He turns Ryan over onto his back, wraps both his hands around the neck of the Cruiserweight Champion and begins choking the life out of him!! The referee jumps in, yelling at Spike to break the hold. When Spike refuses, the referee begins to count him out.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

 

 

FIV—

 

 

Spike breaks the hold, holding his hands up in innocence. Todd puts his face into his hands and shakes his head in disappointment.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOO! JEN-KINS SUCKS! JEN-KINS SUCKS!”

 

“An illegal choke hold right in front of the referee? Does Spike Jenkins have any dignity or respect for JUSTICE~?”

 

“Do you want the long answer, or the short one?”

 

“Short answer, I assume.”

 

“Short answer; no. And don’t assume, Comet! When you assume, you make an ass out of you, and an ass out of me!”

 

“Sometimes I really dislike you, Robert.”

 

Jenkins just shrugs as he stares out into the crowd, with one of those “why are you booing ME!?” faces. Dustin starts to pull himself up via the ropes, but Spike turns his attention back to him before he can get completely up, and boots him in the midsection. Jenkins drags Dustin out of the corner, but then takes a page out of partner Sean Davis’ book, tucking his head and wrapping his arms around Dustin’s waist, then pushing him backwards into the corner! A shock is sent up Dustin’s spine as he collides, and Jenkins quickly yanks him away from the turnbuckles so he can perch himself up on them. Jenkins seats himself on the top rope and applies a front facelock. Spike then kicks off the middle turnbuckle, and rotates through the air while holding Dustin’s head, drilling him with a Tornado DD…NO! DUSTIN COUNTERS QUICKLY WITH AN INVERTED ATOMIC DROP! SPIKE IS STUNNED! Dustin then hops up onto the middle rope and leaps off, diving over Spike’s back as the egotistical trashtalker is hunched over in pain, and executes a sunset flip! Jenkins flails his arms in desperation as Dustin tries to pull him over, but Spike forces his weight down onto Dustin’s shoulders, and latches onto the top rope out of the referee’s sight! Hardcastle dives to the mat to count the pin…but before he can even hit one, Jenkins’ hands are kicked off the ropes by his own partner! Spike falls backwards, into Dustin’s attempted rollup, but before Hardcastle can execute a one count on THAT fall, Cortez steps into the ring and kicks Dustin in the back to break it!

 

“What the…you tell me what sense that made, Comet! He breaks up a pin that would have gotten him a victory, THEN breaks up the pin that would have cost him the match? What the hell is with Todd Cortez.”

 

“Actually, it’s pretty simple if you give it some thought, Comet.”

 

“I’m trying to announce, I have no time for thought!”

 

“Ay yay yay. Obviously Citizen Cortez doesn’t want to win by, shall we say, “nefarious means”. However, he’s not above breaking up a pinfall or two to ensure that SlyDust don’t get the victory.”

 

“Oh!”

 

“Get it now?”

 

“No. He’s still a fool.”

 

Dustin dusts himself off from the kick, and goes to approach Cortez about it as he returns to his rightful place on the apron. Hardcastle block Dustin’s path in an effort to prevent them from getting into it, but Spike Jenkins walks past them both, and HE gets into an altercation with his partner about what happened moments ago! Cortez doesn’t bother engaging in a bickering war, and instead points towards, Dustin, who is making his way towards his corner unbeknownst to Spike! Jenkins turns and lunges after him, diving at him to grab his feet to prevent him from making the tag…AND FAILS! Austin Sly vaults over the top rope, and Spike is barely back to his feet before he finds himself being pummeled by the right hands of Austin! Sly backs Spike into the ropes and whips him across the ring, then scissors his legs around Spike’s as he rebounds, sending him facefirst to the canvas with a drop toehold! Sly pops up immediately after the execution of the move and runs the ropes, coming at Spike with full speed and dropping a leg across the back of his head! Sly rolls Spike over, and the fans go wild as the popular cruiserweight covers one of the most loathed men in the company.

 

“ONE”

 

“TWO”

 

“THR-NO!”

 

Jenkins JUST BARELY throws a shoulder up, and the crowd groans at the sight of Hardcastle raising two fingers in the air. Sly keeps on Jenkins, pulling him up to his feet and then driving his right knee up into his gut once, twice, third times the charm! Spike nearly falls over after having the wind driven out of him, but Sly simply scoops him up and slams him to the canvas. With Jenkins down, Sly starts “feeling it” and runs the ropes that run horizontally to the fallen Jenkins. Sly hops over his fallen foe on the rebound, and the fans pop in expectation of what is to come.

 

SKY SURFER~!~!

 

NO~!

 

Jenkins rolls under the move…BUT SLY LANDS ON HIS FEET!

 

“Great agility by Austin Sly!”

 

“Pure luck is more like it!”

 

Jenkins pushes himself up to his feet, sweating bullets and looking woozy. Sly jerks him by the hair and pulls him close, holding him in a double underhook, setting up for his patented Double Arm DDT…but Spike backdrops Sly with the hold applied, landing so that he’s got Sly covered for a pin!

 

“He caught him sleeping Comet! This’ll clinch it!”

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“THR…NO!”

 

Sly, with the arms of Jenkins still entwined with his own, bridges out of the pin attempt, spinning his body so that he’s got Spike in position for the Double Arm DDT once again, only this time Spike falls to his knees, slipping out of the hold! He pops up with a lariat, but Sly puts his two arms in front of him to block, then kicks Spike in the gut and pulls him into a standing headscissors before pulling him up onto his shoulders for a powerbomb THAT GETS COUNTERED WITH A DDT IN MID MOVE! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!

 

“What a chain of events that was!”

 

”Wrestling is the ultimate game of one-upmanship, Comet, and there isn’t anyone who can pull that off more than Spike Jenkins.”

 

”Says you.”

 

“Well, who better to ask?”

 

The crowd is almost split at this point, as both Dustin and Sly are heavy fan favorites, but many in the Key Arena came out for Todd Cortez tonight. Jenkins starts crawling for his corner, getting a few moments head start on Sly. Cortez reaches in, waiting on the tag as Jet pounds the apron to rally for her man. Dustin eagerly awaits Sly’s tag, pounding on the top turnbuckle as he clutches the tag rope, waiting for that all important moment so they can keep the tide in their favor…

 

HOT TAG TO CORTEZ~!

 

HOT TAG TO DUSTIN~!

 

The crowd roars as both men burst into the ring, with the Urban Legend charging his foe with a YAKUZA KICK~!, but Dustin rolls under it! Cortez swings around to face him, and walks right into the DONE DEAL~!, but catches Ryan’s foot! Cortez swings him around and fires off a superkick of his own, but Dustin catches THAT! Cortez gets swung around, and then scooped up into Ryan’s arms as he carries him to the corner and sets him up on the top rope, tagging Sly back in for a double team. Both men step up onto the middle rope and try to keep Cortez contained, but the Urban Legend fires off wild punches, staggering both Sly and Dustin until they are unable to keep their balance! Cortez shoves them off the ropes to the canvas, and then stands up on the top turnbuckle. He keeps his eye on both of them, waiting for the moment they both get up…

…AND EXECUTES A SHOOTING STAR DOUBLE LARIAT FROM THE TOP ROPE~!

 

“That was amazing! Todd Cortez just made the highlight reel tonight!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

Parents throughout the arena cover their children’s ears, as the chant goes up for Todd Cortez! Fired up, he tears off his signature wifebeater and tosses it into the crowd before pulling Austin Sly up and taking him to mid-ring, where he grabs him by the neck and prepares him for an Urban Assault~! Cortez lifts, but Sly boots him in the stomach on the way up, and then fires off a pair of back elbows to break free from his grip! Sly bounds into the ropes, coming off with a full head of steam…RIGHT INTO A TODD CORTEZ SUPERKICK~! COVER~!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“THREE NO NO NO!!!!”

 

Dustin makes the save in the nick of time, as slides into the ring and yanks Todd Cortez off his partner! Infuriated, Spike comes into the ring, and we’ve got a donnybrook!

 

“It’s a pier six brawl with all four men!”

 

“You actually think the common fan can do that kind of math, Comet?”

 

Cortez goes after Dustin, while Spike pulls Sly up and throws him into the corner. Cortez and Spike both look over their shoulder and nod their heads, then simultaneously send Dustin and Sly out of the corner…only to have Sly reverse and send Spike towards Dustin! Ryan acts quickly, leapfrogging over a charging Jenkins…AND JENKINS SPEARS HIS OWN PARTNER DOWN~!

 

“Just when you thought they were working together, THAT happens!”

 

“It’s all Cortez’s fault, planning those fancy double teams.”

 

Jenkins is stunned, and the crowd boos what just happened. Before he can react, he finds himself clotheslined over the top rope and to the floor by Dustin, why Sly drapes himself across Cortez for the pin!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“THREE!!”

 

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”

 

 

The fans go stir crazy, as Todd Cortez kicks out of certain death! Sly sits up on his knees and looks up at Hardcastle, questioning the count. Hardcastle tells him it was close, but still not a three count, and that the match must continue. Sly pulls an exhausted Cortez to his feet, then lifts him up to his side…but Cortez floats over, landing on his feet! Sly retaliates quickly, getting a knee into the sore ribs of Cortez before sending him into the ropes, and as Cortez hits a recovered Jenkins reaches over and grazes his shoulderblade unbeknownst to him! Sly tucks his head for a backdrop, but Cortez baseball slides through his legs and comes up behind him, spinning him around and quickly looking for Urban Assault…until Jenkins enters the ring with a springboard dropkick that sends Sly forward, knocking heads with Cortez! Todd falls out through the middle rope, and Jenkins quickly rolls up a dazed Sly, getting a little grabby-grabby with the tights as well!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!!”

 

”THREE!!!”

 

“DING DING DING”

 

“That was robbery!”

 

“That was BEAUTIFUL, Comet. Plus, why aren’t you happy? Your buddy Cortez gets a free ride to title shot city thanks to Spike Jenkins!”

 

FUNYON

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNERS…THE TEAM OF TODD CORTEZ AND HOLLYWOOD SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE JENNNNKINNNNSSSSSSSSS!

 

Jet enters the ring, as “Sandstorm” starts up, but it cannot overpower the jeers of the fans. Spike triumphantly throws his hands up in victory, while Ryan Dustin complains to Hardcastle about the illegal pin that he was able to see from his spot on the apron. Jenkins walks over to the ropes, looking down at Cortez, who is leaning against the guardrail holding his head. Having just got to his feet, Cortez looks up at Spike, who smirks at the Urban Legend and says “I did it.”

 

“Look at that…typical Spike Jenkins, taking all the credit for something.”

 

“He got the pin that got the win!”

 

“Yeah, and I suppose an Urban Assault wouldn’t have clinched it? Spike had to sneak by his own partner to get that victory!”

 

Cortez just sneers, knowing that he’ll never hear the end of Spike Jenkins after tonight. He begins to walk off on his own, heading up the aisleway, with Spike acting oblivious as to why he’s doing so. Spike then ducks out of the ring himself, along with his girl, and the two begin their way up the aisle, as gleeful as can be.

 

“Citizen Cortez isn’t a happy man right now, Robert.”

 

“Is he EVER happy? I mean, he gets put in a match that will get him a title shot, he WINS said match…and he pouts? Seems a little selfish to me.”

 

“Selfish? What about Citizen Jenkins stealing a tag, and stealing the pin from Dustin and Sly? You know Cortez wouldn’t have ended the match that way.”

 

“Oh Cortez this, Cortez that. Spare me the holier than thou bit. All he needs to be concerned about is what title shot he’s going to get, since after all, Spike gets first dibs.”

 

“How convenient.”

 

“Hey, he’s the man who won for his team.”

 

“I pray for the day you straighten up, Robert. Although you and “straight” don’t seem to go together.”

 

“Say WHAT?”

 

“I said it’s time for a commercial break.”

 

“Yeah…right.”

 

“Don’t worry folks, we’re coming straight into your homes with more action after this.”

 

“COMET!”

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

The camera cuts to the backstage area now, where Max King and Kelly are standing proud, wearing his and her matching business suits...King holding the returned to him ICTV Championship on his shoulder.

 

"Well, for once, this company has realized my true greatness, and has made the RIGHT decision as far as MY Championship belt is concerned." King says with a smile. "That's right, I am STILL, and will for a LONG time be, YOUR Intercontinental Television Champion: "The Icon" Max King!"

 

King switches the belt to his other shoulder as he talks. "And let me just say something for the record: as far as I'm concerned, Landon Maddix is NEVER going to be deserving enough to get another shot at MY title. I mean, come on...at one time he may have been someone that I could begrudgingly respect here, but now he's just one of the many, limited, pathetic, worthless...well you get the idea. He's just a mere peon compared to yours truly."

 

Kelly briefly leans over, looking into the camera. "And just so you know, that goes double for that prostitute he brings with him every night."

 

King nods softly, then thinks out loud. "...you know, I think you just made an insult to every prostitute in the world there, Kelly."

 

Kelly actually laughs a bit at this. "True, but it's the first thing that I could think of to describe that waste of silicon!"

 

"Too true, too true." King agrees. "And speaking of wastes of space...well, just look at the majority of the SWF Locker Room. A bunch of nobodies, rejects, and dregs of humanity tossed into some half-fancy outfits and told to call themselves wrestlers...and yet for some reason the Championship Committee thinks that there's someone in that locker-room with enough skills and looks to challenge ME for MY title? I don't think so, no way, no HOW. Because, despite that cheated ending at the last show..."

 

"Which thankfully was fixed, and justice was served." Kelly interrupts.

 

"...I WILL go down in history as the GREATEST SWF ICTV Champion of AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL time!" King concludes, tilting his head back as if to soak in the cheers. Kelly, to give him the complete sensation, starts to applaud for him. King eventually breaks out of his trance, looking over to Kelly. "But then again, I probably wouldn't have been able to convince Suicide King to make the right decision without your help, gorgeous."

 

Kelly blushes softly at his compliment of Kelly. "It was easy...just using what I was blessed with...my smarts, my business skills..."

 

"And that's why there's no woman that can compare to you, Kelly." King says. "So, since this is the anniversary of the day that we first met, I decided that something special was in order." King reaches back to the table behind him, pulling up a relatively big box. "For you..."

 

The reaction that King gets from Kelly is similar to someone finding out that they just one the lottery, as she quickly grabs the box from King and rips it open. A slight gold gleam shines on her face, the camera pulling in close as she pulls the contents out...

 

"Kelly, allow me to present you with a gift I had made for you...the SWF Women's Championship!" King states, as Kelly pulls said title belt out. The strap is made out of white leather, the shape circular and decorated with tons of jewels. Kelly's smile grows wider and wider as she looks at her new title, and without warning she grabs King into a big, deep hug...planting a deep, passionate kiss on his lips at this.

 

"...um..." the voice of the cameraman comes out as the two start making out. Kelly looks over to him, a smirk on her face.

 

"I think we're done with you. King's the ICTV Champion, like he should be...and now I'm your Women's Champion. That's all you need to know!" she finishes, as both she and King push at the cameraman with their hands...slamming the door right into the camera and causing static to go off.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

"Welcome back to Lockdown folks, I am of course, CYYYYCCCCLLLLOOOOOONNNNEEEE COOOOOMMMMMMM..."

 

*BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!*

 

-The hard bass line strikes of Muse’s ‘Hyper Music’, which signals the entrance of the one and only Ace Lezaire, striding out form behind the curtain with a cocky grin on his dial (without Steve). He stands at the top of the stage, raising his arms to the heavens, thanking them for his looks and talent as…

 

*BOOM!*

 

…Two tall bursts of pyro explode either side of him, before the Prodigy heads to the ring, waving to the fans graciously, but they don’t return the warm gesture, instead, mocking and booing the Canadian as walks down the ramp! It matters not to Lezaire who tries to slap hands with the fans, but no one takes him up on his offer, much to his dismay. He puts it behind him however as Funyon prepares his introductions.

 

"Must he persist in interrupting my triumphant welcomes!?"

 

"I'll admit, I persuaded him to do in exchange for saying his name once more on camera."

 

“Introducing first,” continues Funyon, “from Vancouver, BC, Canada. Weighing in at two hundred and thirty five pounds… please welcome, the Sovereign of Swagger, the Ace of Spades… he is, ACE LEEEZZZAAAAIIIRRRREEEEE!”

 

"Ace means business, freak. Since when would he turn down an opportunity for more screen time? Never. All he wants tonight is his title back, and to do his country proud, because no one else will."

 

Cue the creepy beginnng to 'Back on Earth' by OZZY~ as David walks out to the ring, focused on the ring as the crowd cheers and spectacular pyro explodes behind him!

 

“…And making his way to the ring,” bellows Funyon, “from Oil City, Pennsylvania. Weighing in at two hundred and seventy seven pounds… he is the current reigning USJL Champion… Please welcome… DAVID CCCCCCRRRROOOOOOSSSSSSSSS!”

 

"Citizen Cross regained his title for himself and the gold old U S of A at the biggest stage of them all, Genesis, proving that he has arrived. Since then, he's gained the tag team titles along with Christian Fury, and his career is on the rise! He has an opportunity tonight to prove he's one step above the rest and possibly catapult himself to greater heights."

 

"Or, it could all come undone in two shows. That's the cruel nature of the business. I love it so."

 

Cross climbs into the ring, both titles over his shoulders, while Funyon promptly exits the ring, leaving only Sexton Hardcastle and the two competitors who stare a hole through each other.

 

"We haven't seen much of young Lezaire since Genesis. Last week he was involved in a three way match but wasn't involved in the outcome. Tonight he'll definitely be involved in the outcome, but not in the way he would like!" Yaps Comet, before chugging a pepsi max and giving a thumbs up for some unknown reason, possibly because I'm dead tired.

 

"Ace Lezaire."

 

"Zuh?"

 

"I'm just fulfilling my agreement."

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

While Cross holds both titles aloft, recieving a hero's welcome, almost blinded by flashbulbs, Lezaire reaches down into the corner, taking hold of David's necklace. The double champion manages a gracious smile, showing a quick glimpse of emotion. The smile, however, soon fades as he turns back to his opponent... who holds in his hand David's sacred cross, dropping it onto the canvas, ready to grind it underfoot with the utmost glee.

 

"This... this is totally unforgivable behaviour!" cries Comet in outrage, leaping to his feet to save the day. "That cross was given to David by his mother, and now this sniveling Canadian is going to destroy it, simply because he can!"

 

"See, THIS is the sort of attitude he should be showing if he wants to be taken seriously. Drowning puppies would also work, but this will do."

 

Cross wastes no time in trying to reclaim what is his, throwing the titles on the mat and charging across the ring, letting his emotions get the better of him. Lezaire, amazingly, welcomes the sight of a severely agitated six foot five powerhouse targeting him. He kicks the cross out to one side, keeping it in tact, while Cross looks down at it, stunned. Ace finally reveals his true intent, taking advantage of the distraction to hit Cross in the face with a Dropsault!

 

"A master stroke if I do say so myself," says Riley with a sneaky grin. "Toying with the man's emotions, threatening to destroy a cherised family heirloom before kicking him in the face. Ah, a man to admire if there ever was one."

 

His head snapping back violently from the impact, Cross crashes to the canvas, wondering what exactly just happened. Lezaire gives him a friendly reminder, nailing him with a dropkick as he tries to sit back up! Ace then flips over the top of Cross with a bridged pin as the crowd fiercely protest!

 

"Ace will be hoping his early onslaught will be enough to keep the big man down," notes Riley. "I know I would after being kicked in the face repeadetly."

 

"Cross will persevere and fight his way back into the match! There's no way no how he can let Lezaire's absolutely fiendish tactics go unpunished, and I pause this triumphant speech only to say that you'd go down for anything or anyone."

 

While Riley has to be held back by arena security, Hardcastle slides over to make the count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

But Cross kicks out, much to the delight of the capacity crowd who rally behind Cross immedietely. Lezaire attempts to quash any resistance by dropping to the mat, applying a simply front facelock, keeping Cross down on the mat.

 

"A simple yet genius strategy by the Canadian," informs Riley, taking great pleasure in seeing Cross writhe in pain as Ace clamps down further. "Keep the big man down and try to take away his power, all the while setting up for Ace's finisher, as they both target the neck. Brilliant."

 

"Don't worry loyal fans of justice sitting at home," Comet says in a reasuring tone, while frowning at Riley, "our Citizen Cross will never give in, not for a second, as he has the heart of a champion!"

 

Comet tries to get the fans on their feet early in this match, sensing danger not too far away as Cross tries to fight out, but Ace has a tight grip and refuses to let go. Cross refuses to fade away so easily though, pushing his powerful arms into the canvas and pulling himself up onto all fours as Lezaire begins to worry, and with good reason.

 

CROSS! CROSS! CROSS! CROSS! CROSS!

 

The crowd cries his name in unison, calling on him to fight on and put the cocky young cretin in his place. He hears their loud ovation and pulls himself up further, but a well placed knee from Ace strikes him in the chest and causing him to drop down onto one knee. The Canadian finally breaks out in one of his trademark smug Lezaire grins, taking time out from his busy schedule to taunt the fans

 

... but it proves to be his undoing as Cross grunts and heaves himself up, taking Lezaire around the waist and spearing him into the corner! Finally having something to cheer about, the fans chant along with each devastating spear that Cross delivers, hitting him...

 

ONCE!

 

TWICE!

 

THRICE!

 

Once the third blow is delivered, Cross lifts Ace up onto the top rope. Before climbing up with his foe, Cross bends down, picking up his necklace and kissing it, looking up at the arena lights. He puts it around his neck, making sure Ace sees it before punching his lights out and climbing up onto the second rope. The champ throws Lezaire's arm over his shoulder, as the fans all rise up as one, knowing what Cross has in mind!

 

"Lezaire thought he could throw Cross off his game and weasle hismelf a win, but justice has prevailed in the end!" shouts Comet in triumph. "A brainbuster from the top rope will surely put an end to Lezaire's evil scheme to dethrone the champion."

 

"Well, if you ask me..." replies Riley, still with a confident smile on his face, "Cross is going for too much too early, letting Ace get under his skin..."

 

But Cross doesn't hear Bobby's forewarning, indtead, listening to the fans as they cheer him on, chanting his name. He tries to lift Lezaire, but the crafty Canadian has his foot hooked behind the second turnbuckle, blocking the move! Cross tries again with more gusto than before, but Ace simply will not budge. Before Cross can try a third time, Lezaire strikes him across the throat with a vicious forearm blow. Several more knock the champion off the turnbuckle, but not to be denied, he climbs right back to his feet...

 

... before he can retaliate however, Lezaire comes flying off the top rope, latching onto his neck in midair, spinning around and driving his head straight into the canvas with a Tornado DDT!

 

"Sweet Zombie Jesus!" shouts an astonished superhero, not beliving his eyes. "Lezaire with a beautiful move that takes down Citizen Cross in one fowl swoop!"

 

"What did I tell you?" replies Riley, rather pleased with himself. "Cross is letting Ace's mind games get to him, and it's paying off for the kooky canuck in a big way!"

 

Ace immediately spins around, wasting no time hooking Cross by the leg for

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO! Another two count frustrates the Canadian, slamming his fist on the mat as Cross crawls away, trying to recover as quickly as possible as the crowd show their support, cheering him on.

 

"That vile Citizen Lezaire may have the upper hand for now," begins Comet, keeping his eyes fixed on Ace, "but mark my words, he'll be on the flat of his back in no time if he can't put Cross away soon!"

 

"Tish pish sure nonsense!" replies Bobby, slipping into an English accent for some reason. "Ace can withstand anything Cross can throw at him, only if Lezaire lets him of course... which he won't, because that would be silly."

 

Cross lifts himself to his feet with aid from the turnbuckles, but Lezaire is on him like a bad rash, unleashing a flurry of European uppercuts that snap David's head back. With his opponent dazed, Lezaire takes him by the arm and whips him into the opposite turnbuckles. Ace quickly follows him in, building up tremendous speed for one head rattling clothesline-

 

BAM!

 

-but Cross counters, sticking his boot up in Lezaire's face! As Lezaire is spun around from the impact, the Doc Martens logo planted across his forehead, Cross charges forward, making sure the advertisement is clear to everyone-

 

WHAM!

 

-nailing Ace with a Yazuka kick! Lezaire crashes to the canvas, his head ringing in pain as the crowd thank Cross for putting the Canadian out of action. The double champion waits for his opponent to climb back to his feet, watching a dazed Lezaire stumble around aimlessly before heading towards Cross, who doubles him over with a kick to the midsection.

 

"He's setting him up for the BLACK MASS Bobbo!" Comet shouts excitedly, tugging on Riley's shirt. "Citizen Lezaire knows this move all too well after these two men's numerous encounters, and he knows if it hits, he's done for!

 

Cross, hearing a huge pop from the fans as he signals the end, lifts Lezaire onto his shoulders, almost effortlessly, but keeping him there proves to be difficult as he feels a sharp twinge in his neck. The momentary distraction gives Lezaire enough time to let himself fall off David's shoulders, taking him around the neck by the ankles and snapping him over!

 

"He does know it all too well, freak, which is how he countered it so easily," comes Riley's smug reply.

 

Skidding across the mat following the move, Cross grabs his neck as pain courses through it relentlessly. Lezaire, looking to press his advantage while the iron's hot, sprints towards his enemy at great pace, but he's stop dead in his tracks as Cross lowers his head, lifting Lezaire up for a spinebuster! Lezaire tries a counter in desperation, escaping Cross' grasp and taking him around the neck! As he spins around, Cross takes hold of him, charging across the ring and throwing him onto the top rope!

 

"Citizen Cross shows he's still on his game, scouting the Tornado DDT and countering easily, but can he capitalize?"

 

Climbing up to meet his opponent, Cross makes sure his opponent doesn't fight back this time, nailing him with right hand after right hand, stunning Lezaire!

 

"ONE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

Cross mercilessly pummels his opponent into submission, releasing his frustration on the canadian punching bag.

 

"FIVE!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

The fans chant along with glee as Ace gets his head smashed in time and time again, as Cross winds up for the big finish...

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"NIGHT!"

 

... but Cross has other ideas, and won't let off Lezaire that easily. Instead of finishing him off with a punch, Cross hooks both of his arms, holding him out to the side while the crowd scream in delight!

 

"A Butterly Suplex!" cries Comet. "He must feel a superplex from that height would do more harm than good cinsidering the state of his neck, and has opted for a double arm suplex instead! He shows he is a true champion, able to adapt to the match whatever course it takes!"

 

"Oh please..." Riley groans in reply. "Ace will counter, as he has all throughout this match. He hasn't let Cross get more than two minutes to wear him down, and he won't start now."

 

As the crowd roars, Cross takes a deep breath, prepares himself, and then heaves Lezaire into the a air, using his strong arm to flip Ace in mid air and-

 

WHAM!!

 

-slam him down with a suplex from the top rope! Lezaire sits up arching his back, crying out in sheer pain, but Cross throws him back down and covers!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH-

 

NO! Ace rolls a shoulder off the canvas, breaking the cover! The crowd sighs loudly in dissapointment, but Cross tries to put it out of his mind, lifting the Challenger to his two wobbly feet. Cross peppers Ace with right hands, backing him towards the ropes while the fans cheer every blow. He finally lets off, only to grab Lezaire by the hand and send him across the ring with an Irish Whip. Cross waits for Lezaire to return, expecting to do he will with the Canadian, but Lezaire surprises everyone, leaping forward and spinning in the air, connecting with a Cyclone Elbow!

 

"Ace wants that title back, no doubt about it," Riley says. "Seeing the American flag on HIS belt would sicken him, as it sickens me."

 

"The American flag sickens you!? Are you a terrorist, a mortal enemy of justice Robert Riley!?"

 

"So what if I am? You gonna raise the SWF's terror alert to orange?"

 

Lezaire hastily covers, forgetting to hook the leg

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR-

 

But Cross gets a shoulder up! The champion quickly recovers from the blow as Lezaire tries to get his bearings, still knocked silly from Cross' earlier barrage. Cross manages to recover first, beating Lezaire to his feet. David yanks Ace to his feet, but Lezaire kicks him down low, almost too low according to Hardcastle, but nothing comes of it. Ace takes cross by the and, twirling it around his head, looking for a Regal Neckbreaker! But Cross counters, ducking his head and twisting around, reversing the hold and sending Ace forward with an Irish Whip... until he pulls him right back into a Short Arm Clothesline!

 

"A nice sequence which ends with Citizen Cross keeping the upper hand! He's starting to build some momentum, and the crowd are starting to rumble..."

 

The fans chant along with this pin as Sexton Hardcastle slides over...

 

"ONE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"THHHHHRRRRRRRRR..."

 

NO! Lezaire kicks out! Cross knew it wouldn't be enough, but he now has enough confidence to finish this off, climbing to his feet, and shoving Lezaire into a standing headsicssors.

 

"He's trying for the Black Mass once again, but this time, there's no chance for Citizen Lezaire!" Comet cries happily.

 

...But the cunning Lezaire has a plan, and he puts it into motion almost immediately, grabbing both of David's legs and taking them out from underneath him, tripping him up! With Cross flat on his back, Lezaire stands up tall, saluting the fans before leaning back and catapulting Cross into the corner!

 

"Nope, no chance. No chance at all. Really, Comet, how many times have you said that with Ace? And time and time again he proves you wrong, he proves everyone wrong!"

 

As Cross stumbles out from the corner in a tizzy, Lezaire winds up, charging headlong at his opponent for a knockout blow. Cross has other ideas however, ducking his head and lifting Lezaire up and over with a back body drop!

 

The fans wait anxiously as the two men go back and forth, Cross finally feeling he has the ascendancy. With Lezaire in the corner, shaking his head wildly, trying ot regain his senses, Cross lowers his head, targeting the ribs once again as he charges across the ring-

 

CLANG!

 

-but his efforts are thwarted by Lezaire, who dives out of the way in the nick of time!

 

"OOOOHHHHHHHHH!"

 

The fans cry out, watching Cross slam head first into the post, his neck jarring in sickening fashion. Cross' muffled groans ar enough to spark Ace into action, pulling Cross out of the corner, chickenwinging both arms at once and pushing Cross into the mat. flipping over into a bridge!

 

"CATTLE MUTILATION!" Riley scrams at the top of his lungs, sensing the end is near. "Ace has the Perfection or Vanity locked in, and it's just all academic now!"

 

The fans try their best to rally Cross, chanting his name countless times, but Ace is ferocious, not letting go for anything, and locking in the move tighter than before. Hardcastle dives to the mat, and in a few seconds he gets an answer to hsi question.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

"That's it! Ace is a two time CANADIAN CHAMPION!" Riley shouts in sheer delight as Ace lets go of the hold, climbing to his feet as Funyon announces much to the displeasure of every fan in attendance...

 

"Here is your winner and the... NEW! S W F UNITED STA-"

 

Ace shoots Funyon a harsh look, causing Funyon to make a slight correction...

 

"As I was saying... S W F C A N A D I A N CHAMPION... ACE LEZAIRE!"

 

The fans are almost ready to riot, if it were not for Cross, who lies motionless in the ring. Ace worries not about his foe, instead he takes his title and throws it over his shoulder, posing for pictures before heading up the ramp way.

 

"This is just terrible... Ace Lezaire is once again the Canadian Champion, and David Cross is hurt... had he not put his body at risk like that, he might still be champion, but once again, that vile Citizen Lezaire takes advantage of the situation for his own gain like the nefarious criminal he is!"

 

"That he may be, but he's something much more important than that... a winner."

 

The scene fades to black with David Cross coming to, only to find Lezaire holding his title over his shoulder, a sick smile on his face as he points to himself, declaring himself number one, and tonight, he is.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Uh, uh, uh.

I just gotta bring it to they attention dirty.

That's all..

 

You better watch who you talking 'bout,

Runnin' your mouth

Like you know me..

 

"Number 1" by Nelly kicks up over the speakers, and out steps Marcus Washington. His suit is as clean and crisp as ever, and he carries a briefcase in one hand. In the other is a microphone. The fans in the Key Arena begin to boo loudly at the lawyer who represents Sean Davis. Marcus pauses at the top of the ramp, smirking out at the audience and taking in their jeers like fuel for a fire. He then continues down and toward the ring, his walk more of a saunter as he nods to the beat of "Number One."

 

"What's Citizen Washington doing out here without his client, Citizen Davis?" queries Comet.

 

Riley responds, "Well, I don't rightly know. But I imagine we'll find out if you'd just keep your masked mouth shut."

 

Comet shoots back, "The Smarks Federation pays me very well to keep my mouth open, Bobbo."

 

One can hear the smile in Bobby's voice as he replies, "Is that so?"

 

Once at ringside, Marcus climbs the stairs and steps into the ring through the second and top ropes. He straightens his tie, then leaves his briefcase at the corner before heading to the middle of the ring. Nelly's tune fades from the speakers, giving way to a prominent chant from the Washington crowd.

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

"That's not what she said last night, heh heh," Marc chuckles as he answers the crowd.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

"This must be a real conservative town, Comet."

 

"I wouldn't say that, Bobbo."

 

"Dry?" he asks.

 

"Have you seen the women?" asks Cyclone with a tinge of sarcasm in his voice.

 

In all honesty, Riley replies, "No.. "

 

"Anyway, I'm not here to talk about how last night went for me, because I certainly don't want to hear it from you." Marcus pauses and turns a circle as he addresses the crowd. "No, my friends. I'm here tonight to inform you of a grave injustice. An oversight on the part of my client's employer. I'm here to make sure that this wrong is righted."

 

"What in the nine Hells of Cormanthor is he talking about?" spits Comet.

 

"I'll bet you your stupid mask that Sean Davis is cashing in his rematch clause."

 

Comet tsks and responds, "Not every wrestler on the roster has a rematch clause in their contract. Citizen Washington is appealing to someone for something. It must be because it wasn't covered!"

 

"My client, Sean Davis, signed a contract on the twenty-second of June with the Smarks Wrestling Federation. I have a couple copies in my briefcase," Marc points as he speaks. "In case anyone would like to look it over. And that's for the higher-ups back stage, not you lowly townsfolk."

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

"Citizen Washington won't be winning any cases in Seattle anytime soon."

 

Marcus continues, "Underlined in Chapter 6, titled 'Championship Belts and Rights Thereof', Section D, 'Rematch Rights' and specified under Number 4 is a clause stating that my client, Sean Davis, has the right to a single rematch for any belt previously carried, to be held at any time, at his discretion. I'm going to make it clear before some of you get the wrong idea.. there is an addendum stating that this clause does not preclude my client from receiving more than one rematch for a title belt, but instead grants one at a time of his choosing, for each belt."

 

As the lawyer pauses to take a breath and gather his thoughts, the crowd begins to chant again.

 

DA-VIS SUCKS!

 

DA-VIS SUCKS!

 

DA-VIS SUCKS!

 

Washington begins again. "I was so glad as I watched the show from the Revolution Zero locker room backstage, to see that Christian Fury—" Marc has to stop as the fans cheer for Fury, overwhelming Washington.

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

FUR-Y!

 

FUR-Y!

 

FUR-Y!

 

"To see that Mr. Fury was indeed in attendance for tonight's show, despite being left off the card. Hope you don't need a lot of time to warm up, Christian, because Sean Davis has decided to cash in his Hardcore Gamers' Championship rematch tonight, in Seattle, Washington."

 

The crowd gives a mixed reaction to the announcement. Half the fans cheer for their hometown being mentiond, while the other half boos for the lawyer in the ring.

 

"Hardcore Gamers' Title match! Tonight! Is that legal!?" exclaims Comet!

 

"Of course it is, you dolt. Marcus Washington just pleaded his case perfectly! Sean's going to get his belt back!"

 

The lights in the arena lower and a rumble of thunder echoes through the arena. The Washington fans become more agitated at the impending entrance. Streaks of pyro flash from ceiling to stage, erupting into flames at each corner. "F.E." by 40 Below Summer kicks up and Sean Davis appears from behind the curtain. The Perfect Storm heads down to the ring, appearing determined and angry at the same time.

 

Funyon quickly ascends the stairs into the ring and announces to the crowd, "The following contest is scheduled for one fall! And will be for the SWF Hardcore Gamers' Championship! Introducing first, the challenger! Weighing in at two hundred and seventy pounds.. from Jacksonville, Florida! The Perfect Storm!! SEEEEEAAAAAAN DAAAAAVISS!!"

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

The fans respond negatively to the wrestler entering the ring. Sean approaches Marcus and shakes his hand, then turns toward the stage, awaiting Christian Fury's entrance. The lights return to normal lighting, and Washington turns his microphone over to the timekeeper. He collects his briefcase from the corner and then watches the curtain, waiting as a chant overcomes the arena.

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

The arena lights drop down to nothingness..

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

Washington and Davis both look up with smiles on their lips. The flashbulbs start to pop up, and the crowd gets slowly louder..

 

And louder..

 

And.. System Of A Down's "Aerials" softly filters over the house speakers, driving the crowd to the edge.

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

“Citizen Fury seems ready to answer this ill-conceived challenge!” Comet shouts over the crowd.

 

“Ill-conceived?” Riley stammers. “It’s in the guy’s contract!” The SmarkTron shows a slow-motion video montage of Fury up high on the ropes, then plummeting down, flipping to smash some unsuspecting opponent on the floor below. Just as the first verse is ready to play, a massive pyro explosion flares up at the entrance ramp, and the music switches to the guitar solo before the second-to-last.

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

Washington and Davis look towards the entranceway expectantly. So does the crowd. But as the pyros die down, and the smoke starts to clear..

 

There’s no one up at the top!

 

FUR-Y!

 

FUR-Y!

 

FUR-Y!

 

The crowds’ chants are still loud and proud, but you can just make out that tint of confusion.

 

“Could it be he’s chickening out?” Riley muses. “Could it be that this supposed Hardcore champ is a hardcore chump?”

 

For a few moments, still nothing. Even Fury’s entrance music has faded out, just the chants of the crowd are left. Davis looks at Washington for a moment.. Washington’s expression is one of a man incensed and embarrassed.. He grabs the mike back from the timekeeper, and swings it to his lips.

 

“Fury!” he hisses. “You can’t deny my client his rematch! Either come out and fight, or you forfeit the title!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

YOU SUCK!

 

Another moment passes.. Suddenly, the speakers crackle to life once more.

 

“Objection, your honor.. The prosecution is acting like a jackass!”

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

The voice is unmistakable. Washington looks around, steaming mad. The source of the statement isn’t visible until… There!

 

FUR-Y!

 

FUR-Y!

 

FUR-Y!

 

“There he is, Bobbo!”

 

“Oh whoopee-doo..”

 

Out of the crowd steps Fury, sans jacket, sans kendo stick.. But sporting a Seattle Seahawks ball cap over his mop of red hair.

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

“Oh puh-leeze,” Riley groans. “Resorting to playing the local team for cheap pops? Doesn’t he know they lost on Sunday?”

 

Fury climbs over the guardrail separating the crowd from the ring area and smiles in the direction of his opposition. The Hardcore Gamers belt rides about his waist, and a mike is in his hand.

 

“So,” Fury begins, addressing Davis directly. “You decided you didn’t want to wait until a rematch was scheduled. You had your bottom-feeding friend there fashion up some official-looking documentation stating that you had a rematch clause in your contract.”

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

“That’s an insult to the work Mr. Washington put in securing Davis’ contract so long ago!” Bobby yells.

 

“Riiiiight,” Comet answers after a pause.

 

Davis sputters, “That document is legal!”

 

“Now wait just a min—“ Washington starts.

 

“No,” Fury counters quickly, powerfully. “You wait just a minute, and let a professional in his field talk.”

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

“Now, as you so eloquently stated.. I am indeed here without being on the card. I figured I’d come along, cheer on and support my fellow tag team champion..”

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

“..And say my peace about your.. Fine.. Organization.” Fury chuckles as the fans just take it all in.

 

Marc glares down at the red-head at floor level. His lips are moving, but none of the microphones at ringisde are able to pick what what he says, until he raises his mic to spit at the champ, “Objection, relevence. You have a point to all this, Fury?”

 

“Wow, you’re no fun..” Fury sighs, slipping his sunglasses from his face as he climbs into the ring. His demeanor visibly goes from joking to a dead seriousness that actually takes the fans aback. “Fine.. You want to know my point?” He settles a pair of steel-blue orbs on Davis as he stands in the middle of the ring. “My point is this: I’m not afraid of you.. I’m not afraid of him.” He motions to Washington. “I’m not afraid of any little paperwork saying you get your rematch. Hell.. If the powers-that-be wrote a clause saying that I had to defend my Hardcore title 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I still wouldn’t be afraid!”

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

“You want to cash in that rematch right here and now?” Fury’s voice drops to a menacing rumble. “Fine.. Let’s do it.”

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

FUR-Y!

 

FUR-Y!

 

FUR-Y!

 

“Because I have no problems proving to you, to the fans here in the Key, and to all those across the country and around the world.. That I’m a true champion.”

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!!!

 

“And I’ll have no problems proving to those same people that your little Revolution is about to get quashed.” With that, Fury throws down the mike, and stares Davis down, waiting.

 

“Citizen Fury is all business, and is looking to cement himself as the dominant party right here, right now!”

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

DING! DING! DING!!

 

"And we have a Hardcore Gamers' Championship match on our hands, folks!" announces an excited Comet.

 

The shit-eating grin on Riley's face can be heard in his voice, "I love surprise matches! And it being Hardcore just makes it that much better!"

 

Marcus exits the ring as Sean and Fury begin to slowly circle in the ring, each sizing the other up. Fury takes a moment to pull the Hardcore belt from around his waist. He hands it over to the referee, who in turn passes it down to the timekeeper. The competitors pause before lunging toward each other and entangling themselves in a collar and elbow lock. Davis's strength advantage allows him to overcome Fury and pull him into a side headlock, but before Sean can begin squeezing the life out of Christian, the Hardcore champ steps around, weaseling out of the lock and pulling Sean's arm up into a hammerlock! Sean doesn't take the punishment for long as he simply steps forward, grabbing Fury by the wrist as he does, and wrenches Chris's arm around! Sean turns again, further torturing Fury's shoulder. Davis then steps in and with his free arm, absolutely drives his elbow against Fury's already hurting upper back! Christian goes down to a knee, and then Davis grabs a fistful of the champ's hair before forcefully shoving his knee up into Fury's chin! The champion falls back, holding his jaw in pain!

 

"Holy Zues, Batman! I felt that one from here!" exclaims Comet!

 

"My man, Sean Davis, taking the advantage early with a reversed hammerlock," gloats Riley. He adds, "And I'm not Batman, for the umpteenth time!"

 

Davis leans down and grabs Fury up, guiding him to his feet. Sean lands a huge right punch to Fury's temple, quickly followed by two more. Davis throws Fury across the ring and into the ropes. As Christian returns off the rebound, he ducks Sean's big arm, ricochets again and lands a steel toe into Davis's chest as the bigger man leans over. Sean straightens with the blow, holding his chest with one big hand. Fury jogs back toward the rope, bouncing off and flying at Davis with an arm extended, hitting the big man across the neck!

 

"Neckbreaker drop.. no!" Comet shouts.

 

Christian cannot pull the former footballer off his feet to complete the neckbreaker drop, and instead just hangs on and locks a reverse sleeper onto the Revolution Zero grunt. Perhaps that's what he meant in the first place.. Sean staggers back with the added weight, then uses the momentum to slam Fury back first into the corner! Davis throws his elbow back, knocking Fury off kilter, but the champ doesn't release his hold. Davis throws another elbow, and a third before dislodging Fury from around his neck. Sean turns to face Christian, but Fury is ready with a darting double nerve strike! Davis doubles over, nearly incapacitated as he staggers back. Christian pushes himself onto the second turnbuckle and quickly jumps, landing a dropkick into Sean's face! Davis twirls to the side with the blow, finally falling to the mat! Christian slinks over and makes the pinfall attempt.

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up! Davis rolls over, getting to his feet. Fury beats him up and begins landing left and rights in order to keep Sean on the defensive. Davis hunkers down, taking the blows on the top of his head, then charges into Fury, picking him up off the mat and slamming him back down with a spinebuster! Davis reaches down and picks Fury back up, setting him up for a suplex and then hefting him into the air. While gravity pulls Fury to the mat, Sean turns midair and falls on top of Christian, completing the suplex powerslam! Sean hooks the leg for the cover.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

T—Kickout!

 

 

Sean gets to his knees, shaking his head at the referee, but keeping his focus on Fury. He stands, aiding Christian in doing the same. Davis whips Fury across the ring, but Christian reverses the whip, sending Davis flying! As Sean returns, Chris ducks down, then launches Davis over his shoulder!

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

 

"Back drop on Citizen Davis! The champ is picking up the pace!" shouts Comet!

 

"Picking up the pace? This is coming off a big spinebuster from The Perfect Storm, and an equally devastating suplex powerslam! The tables are wobbling, Comet, but they are by no means turning!"

 

Fury quickly lands a dropkick onto Davis's knee, keeping him on the floor. While still on the mat, Fury wraps his arm around Sean's knee, holding him in a leglock.

 

"And Citizen Fury using his veteran logic to work Citizen Davis's previously injured knee."

 

Riley responds, "His knee is practically healed, Comet! Fury is tapping at an old well!"

 

The referee kneels down to check on Davis, but since there are no submissions, there would be little he could do. Sean shakes his head again, then reaches up, grabbing Fury by the hair. Pulling back on Fury's red locks have no affect, so Sean takes the next step and grabs Christian by the face! Davis curls his fingers and yanks at Fury's skin!

 

"By Thor's Thunderbolts! Citizen Davis is trying to take the champ's face off!" hollers Comet!

 

"That looks like something out of the Speed movie! Yeah! When Dennis Hopper had Keanau Reeves' partner in the elevator! He almost ripped his nostrils off!"

 

Fury rolls away from Davis, holding his face as the referee switches interests and checks on him. Sean climbs laboriously to his feet, stretching his left knee as he goes. With a snarl and that gleam in his eye, Davis advances on Fury, giving him a boot to the face! Christian rolls over with the blow, then again rolls with another stomp from Davis! Sean continues stomping at Fury, until he eventually rolls out of the ring. Fury collapses on the floor before shaking his head and pushing himself to his feet. Davis drops off the apron, a double axe handle aimed at Fury's upper back, but Christian moves to one side, uppercutting a kendo stick right into Davis's gut! Sean doubles over with the blow and Fury pulls the kendo stick up, then smacks it down across Sean's bared back!

 

THWACK!!

 

OOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!

 

Fury raises the kendo stick for another shot across Sean's back, but Marcus darts into the scene and slams Fury across the back of the head with Forceful Beauraucracy!!

 

SMACK!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

"That dastardly lawyer! First he conjures up this contract clause to force a rematch on Citizen Fury, now he has to go and get involved in the match!" bemoans Comet.

 

"The contract is legal! Stop trying to make an excuse for Fury! There is no excuse for him!"

 

Davis pushes himself once again to his feet, a hand over his aching back. He stretches it gingerly, then reaches down to pick up Fury. Once he pulls the champ to his feet, Sean lands a few forearms to Fury's forehead, then whips him into the steel stairs! Fury makes no move to avoid them, and..

 

C-CLANG!!

 

The top section of the stairs tumble over from Fury's interference. Christian rolls onto his back, clutching at his knee. Sean advances and grabs Fury up once more. Again, he slams a couple forearms into Fury's temple, and then grabs him up for a scoop slam, dropping him hard on the padded concrete. A camera cord lays underneath Fury, and Davis kneels down, picking up the wire and wrapping it around Christian's neck! The champ's eyes bulge as his air supply is suddenly cut off!

 

BOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

The camera connected to the cord stands only a few feet away, and the view switches to that feed, with extra close up on the action. Davis looks up at the cameraman, smiles, then drops Fury, stands and grabs the camera! The video cuts out for a moment, then switches to another angle, just in time to see Davis throw the camera onto Fury's stomach! Christian doubles over, clutching his stomach in pain.

 

"Citizen Davis using the camera to incapacitate the champion.. how low is that?"

 

"Low? I don't see low. It wasn't even a low blow. There aren't any rules, Spandex Boy."

 

Comet replies snidely, "I'm more than aware of the lack of rules, Robert."

 

Davis reaches down, picking up Fury. The smaller pieces that broke off the camera fall to the floor. Sean places Fury in a standing headscissors, leans over and gutwrenches him onto his shoulder. With a turn to show the audience Fury's pain stricken face, Sean then pulls Fury down into a piledriver position and then falls to his knees! Christian falls limp to the floor and Davis hooks a leg for the pin.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

"Cyclone Driver on Christian Fury!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!

 

 

 

 

 

DING! DING! DING!!

 

 

"No! Evil presides again! Where's Citizen Cross when you need him?!"

 

"New Hardcore champ!"

 

"Your winner, and NEW SWF Hardcore Gamers' Champion! SEEEEAAAAN DAAAAAVIISSS!!" Funyon announces!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Marcus motions at Davis, who picks Fury up and rolls him into the ring. Marc follows and grabs up the microphone previously left there by Fury. Sean turns Fury onto his stomach and mounts his back while locking up the former HCG champ into a Full Nelson. Davis leans back, securing the Avalanche onto Christian. The pain on Fury's face is apparent, and Washington gets into his face with the microphone, screaming at the champion.

 

"We don't need you to be afraid of us, you dumb little shit!! The Revolution isn't looking to inspire fear in our opponents!!" Marcus steps away, addressing the booing crowd as well as the workers in the back. "NO!" he shouts! "We're the unstoppable force that no one saw coming!!" Washington raises his hand, ticking off as he rants. "Toxxic!! Your SWF Heavyweight Champion! Six months ago, no one saw him coming! Hollywood Spike Jenkins! It's been three years, but in the past three months, no one saw him coming!! The Perfect Storm! My client, Sean Davis! In three months he has been Hardcore Gamers' Champion! Tag Team Champion! And is now Hardcore Gamers' Champion once again! No one saw him coming!"

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

"What a violent message from Marcus Washington! I love it! It's true! None of the superstars in Revolution Zero were seen as a threat in this company! And now they're all at the top!"

 

Comet replies dryly, "Spike Jenkins and at the top? They aren't even close to similar."

 

"Spike is a former Tag Team Champion! Former Cruiserweight Champion! Names like El Luchador Magnifico, Fallout, Tom Flesher all belong in those ranks! Spike is a top player!"

 

Comet looks at the camera as the picture focuses on the announce team, "Lockdown will be back, after these words from our sponsors. Don't change the channel!"

 

Fade out.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

We come back to Seattle, Washington, where the Key Arena crowd prepares themselves for the next match, as do our favorite announcers…

 

"(Comet) Walcome back to Lockdown from Seattle's Key Arena, where Manson is set to take on… well, we don't know who he's going to be facing. None the less, we haven't seen much of Manson since Genesis, presumably so he could rest his oft injured knee, but he's ready to get back into the swing of things here."

 

"(Riley) That's gonna be tough to do when you don't know anything about your opponent and can't prepare. Hopefully that works to our mystery man's advantage."

 

"(Comet) Our mystery person should also be at a disadvantage, seeing as how they're usually returnees with some rust to them…"

 

"(Riley) Oh, how I hope it's Janus here to destroy Manson, or Flesher playing some cruel trick on me and returning tonight…"

 

"(Comet) He managed to work around you all these years with the retraining order, only to leave now. I'm fairly certain he's really retired…"

 

"(Riley) Sit on the dildo blender, tough guy!"

 

"(Comet) …"

 

The house lights dim and multi-colored strobes flash as the fans rise from their seats. The unfamiliar "Crusher Destroyer" by Mastodon blasts from the speakers, but sure enough Manson emerges from the back to a big ovation! In stride he throws up a fist in the air, before heading down the ramp.

 

"(Funyon) Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! First, making his way down to the ring, hailing from Denver, Colroado -- weighing in at two-hundred and thirty pounds, and standing six feet tall! MMMAAAAAAANNNNSOONNNN!"

 

Manson rolls into the ring and pops up to his feet. He heads over to his corner in the lower right side of the ring and stretches. As he waits, silence gives way to a lone voice screaming out to the arena…

 

 

"I GET WET WHEN A PARTY HAS STARTED!"

 

 

"I GET WET! WITHOUT EVEN TRYING!"

 

 

"I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET!"

 

 

*BOOOOOOOOOM*

 

 

White and blue pyro rushes up from the top of the entrance ramp as "I Get Wet" by Andrew WK starts in earnest. The sparks break in the middle, allowing Ann "Ichiban" Onita to rush full speed towards the ring with an explosion of cheers surrounding her, sliding under the bottom rope and hopping to her feet!

 

"(Funyon) And his opponent, hailing from Tokyo, Japan -- standing five feet, seven inches tall! ANN OOOOOOONNIIITAAAA!"

 

"(Comet) It's Ann 'Ichiban' Onita! She's back in action! When we last saw her, Tom Flesher had stolen her twin, Allison Onita, from her in a ladder match!"

 

"(Riley) Well, he didn't really steal her. Allison helped him to win the match, as she realized who the real winner was between Tom and Annie."

 

Funyon exits the ring as Onita approaches Manson and mouths off, Manson standing unaffected, just as Matt Kivell steps in between them. Annie heads back to her corner and sets her kendo stick against the steps, as Kivell calls for the bell.

 

::DING DING!::

 

Both wrestlers exit from their corners and engage in a lock up, the larger and more imposing Manson getting the advantage and pushing Annie back into her corner. Manson simply keeps the hold on, and finally breaks it at the insistence of Kivell. Manson simply steps back away from Onita and jogs in place, causing Onita to rush out of her corner and lock up again, but as Manson again begins to push her back, Annie hits Manson in the right leg with a kick, followed by another, and yet another. After one more stinging kick to the leg, Manson sticks his left leg in behind Annie and shoves her down to the mat, breaking the hold in the process.

 

"(Comet) Citizen Manson clearly outpowering Annie, but Ms. Onita is able to show off her deadly kicks, enough to cause Manson to avoid them at all costs."

 

Annie darts up to her feet, and Manson is immediately there with a waistlock. Manson grunts and hoists Annie up, only to bring her back down to the mat with a belly to belly suplex, dropping her on her back as he lands on his knees and goes into a pin.

 

 

"ONE!"

 

 

She gets a shoulder up, and Manson brings her back up to her feet by the right arm.

 

"(Comet) Manson gets only a one off the belly to belly suplex…"

 

Still holding onto Onita, Manson pulls her in and goes for a shortarm clothesline, but she ducks under the arm and with the two still locked up, she spins him around and brings a leg up, hitting Manson with a kick to the side of the head! Manson goes down to the mat as Annie heads to the ropes and springs off, catching Manson with a forearm to the head as he gets to his feet! Manson again gets to his feet, and once more Annie spirngs off the ropes and hits Manson with a forearm. Manson goes down and, rather than repeat the process, rolls out of the ring.

 

"(Comet) Annie has Manson reeling, and he ducks outside the ring!"

 

Manson kneels down on the ground as Annie follows him out, but as she approaches, Manson shoots up, leans back and grabs her by the head, taking her down with the Consequences!!!

 

"(Comet) CONSEQUENCES ON THE FLOOR!"

 

Manson immediately drags Annie back up to her feet and rolls her back into the ring, going for the pin! Kivell makes the count...

 

 

"ONE!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"TWOOOO!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREEE!!!!!!!"

 

 

::DING DING!::

 

 

"(Funyon) Your winner, by pinfall!! MMMAAAANNNSOONNN!"

 

"(Comet) Manson comes through with a surprising upset win, by nailing Annie with the Consequences!!"

 

"(Riley) A Consequences on the outside, after luring Annie out there no less…"

 

"(Comet) Well, up next we have Landon Maddix taking on Jamie Drazon. Stay with us..."

 

As we go to break, our last shot is of Manson heading back up the ramp... silent...

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

I was there, for the SJL’s Final Show.

 

I was there, for Stryke’s 18th Return.

 

I was there, to see Justice against Rule.

 

I was there, for Calvinball.

 

I was there, when Thugg stood up.

 

I was there, when Hollywood Boulevard took the titles.

 

I was there, to see the Trinity explode.

 

I was there, when Thugg fell.

 

I was there…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…and now I’m back.

 

 

 

The scenes that had flashed across the SmarkTron disappear, replaced by a face so long forgotten by those around him…and then…

 

 

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON

THERE’LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE…

 

“It can’t be…” the Cyclone Comet says as the arena erupts…

 

LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REST…

DON’T YOU CRY NO MORE…

 

The sounds fade out, leaving only the sound of a cheering crowd as the SmarkTron comes to life, and the same voice is heard…

 

“Never say never…”

 

 

CUE: “Pardon Me” by Incubus

 

On the SmarkTron, Alan Clark’s face becomes clearer than ever, his eyes seem to burn with a passion not seen for nearly a year. His lips mouth the words…

 

Pardon me while I burst…

 

The picture zooms out to show Alan alone in an empty arena…his gaze turns down to the empty ring in front of him.

 

A decade ago, I never thought I would be,

at twenty-three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion.

Woe-is-me.

But I guess that it comes with the territory;

an ominous landscape of never ending calamity.

 

Others fade in around him, and the building fills to capacity. Various wrestlers appear in the ring, grappling and fully intent on destroying each other. The calamity spoken of in the song is nothing like Clark has truly seen, but images flash on the screen of the blood Alan has shed in his career.

 

I need you to hear, I need you to see that I have had all I can take and

exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.

 

As the last words blare, the image changes to that of Alan Clark, carted away in an ambulance after From The Fire, his arm raised high in victory. The crowd cheers, but Alan stays in his seat, his eyes remaining focused.

 

So pardon me while I burst into flames.

I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.

 

After a moment, everyone slowly disappears, leaving only Clark behind in his seat. The camera zooms back in on his face.

 

So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.

Pardon me, pardon me...I'll never be the same.

 

A smirk slowly appears once more as more footage, a myriad of images, of his career flash in front of his eyes, and just as quickly as he appeared, he fades into nothingness with the music.

 

 

 

 

With no music…

 

With no pyrotechnics…

 

With nothing but the sounds of the fans around him…Alan Clark steps through the curtain underneath the SmarkTron and into the lights he had stepped away from many months ago.

 

Comet and Riley stay in stunned silence as the crowd explodes in cheers, none of them believing what they are seeing. Alan keeps his head high as he walks down the ramp and toward the ring, his eyes gazing left to right, right to left, amazed at what he is seeing from the fans. As he gets to the ring he moves toward the steps, only to pause at the bottom and look out into the crowd once more.

 

With a hard sigh and a smile, Alan walks up the steps and climbs through the ropes and into the ring, the crowd cheering as his feet touch the canvas. Slowly, Alan makes his way into the center of the ring, his body spinning a few times to take everything in.

 

 

”You were here…to see Alan Clark return!”

 

The crowd explodes once more and flashbulbs pop, and Alan’s smile is bigger than ever.

 

“If you thought you’d never see me again, well then you don’t know Alan Clark. Months ago I had set goals for myself, and as I sat at home I looked back over the last year and I saw that a lot of what I set out to do…had not gotten done. So in front of all of you people I make my vow to step back into this ring and work my way back into the spotlight and meet my goals and exceed the expectations of not only you fans, but of everyone watching on the monitors in the back. Rest assured, they missed me just as much as you missed me.” Alan pauses and smirks to himself. “Well I’m back, and things are going to change. I have my own agenda, and the sky is the limit. From New York to Hollywood and all around the world, Alan Clark is back on tour! So buckle up and prepare yourselves….

 

 

You’re all in for the ride of your lives.”

 

With those words, Alan drops his microphone to the mat and throws his hands up to another roaring round of applause. He takes it in as more flashbulbs pop around the building as “Pardon Me” once again begins to play over the loudspeakers. Alan slides out of the ring and begins his walk up the ramp, high-fiving a few fans along the way. Just before he reaches the curtain he turns to give the crowd one more look and heads backstage…but before the crowd can calm, his voice is heard again…

 

”I told the whole world that it didn’t matter what had to happen, and what extremes I had to go to…I would get the job done…”

 

The message leaves all those that hear it scratching their heads, including Bobby Riley…

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Comet: "Yes, and welcome back to the SWF. We get Locked Down...but we get get up again. You'll never keep us down. Robert, earlier tonight we saw abuse of power in it's most self-satisfying form, as Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix's SWF International Television Championship victory from Storm was effectively cancelled out. Why? Suicide King's personal enjoyme..."

 

Riley: "I'm sorry wrestling fans, don't listen to this deranged weirdo next to me. Comet...King did the RIGHT thing."

 

Comet: "The right thing by him, yeah!"

 

Riley: "Maddix cheated to win the belt, so it was only right he got his comeuppance."

 

Comet: "Oh, we could discuss this all night. The fact is, Suicide King set Maddix up...stripped him of the title, not to mention left him open for an attack by Max King. All for his enjoyment. Hopefully he'll be getting his at the hands of Mark Stevens at Ashes II Ashes inside Hell In A Cell..."

 

Riley: "That's blatant bias Comet!"

 

Comet: "...but right now, Landon Maddix has another tough fight on his hands. The veteran ass-kicking, Hardcore Maniac himself, Jamie Drazon is his opponent tonight. These two men battled some months ago in a brutal Boiler Room Brawl and I'm sure that has not been forgotten."

 

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd explode with cheers as "Megalomaniac" hits for the second time in the night, with Landon Maddix emerging through the curtains with a sour look on his face and weighing about 30 pounds lighter. Behind him is Megan Skye, holding her forehead, still selling the effects of the beltshot she took earlier.

 

Funyon: "Ladies and gentlemen, this following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time-limit. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by 'his Perfect 10' Megan Skye. From Huron, South Dakota and weighing two hundred and eighteen pounds. The..."

 

Funyon pauses, taking a glance down at what is obviously a hurriedly improvised cue-card.

 

Funyon: "...the TWO-TIME SWF Intercontinental Television Champion! LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MAAAADDDIIIIIXXXXX!!!"

 

Another set of cheers fill the air, as Maddix raises an eyebrow at his introduction. Shrugging it off, Maddix then raises an arm to salute the fans, rolling into the ring and snapping back up...favoring his neck slightly as he does. Megan meanwhile helps herself slowly up the steel steps and enters the ring under the middle rope. A few more Pro-Megan signs are visable in the crowd than there used to be, but she's still seeing too many stars to acknowledge them.

 

Comet: "Well, Landon Maddix has to be feeling mighty low right about now...but with an opponent the calibre of Jamie Drazon, Maddix has to put that aside if he's to survive this one."

 

Riley: "Oh, for sure. Drazon's a nut."

 

Comet: "...indeed."

 

Suddenly, out go the lights, bathing the Key Arena in darkness to cheers from the crowd. Those cheers subside slightly, before Marilyn Manson's "Dope Hat" hits and brings the Seattle crowd right back to their feet as Jamie Drazon steps through the curtains. Stopping at the top of the stage, Drazon nods his head slightly as he looks around the crowd, before walking down the aisleway.

 

Funyon: "And his opponent! Hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia and weighing in at two hundred and forty three pounds. He is the one and only "Hardcore Maniac"...he is JAAAAAMIIIEEE DRRAAAZZZZZOONNN!!!"

 

JD carries on down the aisle, near enough ignoring the wild crowd as he reaches the ring and jumps up onto the apron. Locking eyes with Maddix, Drazon quickly steps through the ropes and begins to stride forward towards Maddix...who, to the surprise of many, isn't backing down a step. And pretty soon, the two men are nose are 'face to face'...or as close as height will allow.

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

Behind them, referee Nick Soapdish wastes no time in calling for the bell. And it's AAAWN~!, as Maddix suddenly fires a forearm into the jaw of Drazon! Away staggers Drazon, caught off guard by the strike, as Maddix follows right in and fires off a series more forearms. Drazon takes about five or six more before finally regaining his bearings and firing off a stiff kick around the back of Maddix's left knee which stops Landon in his tracks. With a grimace he grabs at the knee, as Drazon pushes his opponent back and lashes him with a second kick, this time deep in the breadbasket.

 

Comet: "Already, those dehabilitating kicks of Citizen Drazon come into play!"

 

Maddix doubles over, getting grabbed by Drazon and thrown into the corner nonchalantly. Hitting the turnbuckles, out staggers Maddix and into a short clothesline which drops him like a stone. Already on the backfoot, Landon decides it's time to go with another tactic and quickly reaches out while on the mat, grabbing Drazon's ankle and clinging on for dear life. But from there, Maddix is lost for ideas. Leaving himself wide open for a kick from Drazon's free leg, this time enough to force Maddix into a retreat to the outside.

 

But JD isn't going to let Maddix get any sort of a let-up, rolling out of the ring after "La Cucaracha" and grabbing him by the hair. Maddix is surprised, too surprised to react as Drazon pushes him into the guardrail. Maddix gets a foot up though, blocking a collision! In rushes JD after Maddix looking to hit a clothesline, but Landon is alert by now and ducks his head, lifting Drazon up and diving out of the way as Drazon falls back from the air and lands throat first across the railings!

 

Riley: "Wait a minute...that should be a disqualification! Where's The Suicide King when you need him?"

 

Comet: "My thoughts exactly..."

 

Hitting the railings hard, Drazon bounces back and staggers backwards towards the apron. Landon meanwhile starts to shake loose the effects of Drazon's early kicks, before charging in on Drazon and clotheslining The Hardcore Maniac back into the apron! Now Maddix is control, taking the initiative and dumping JD back into the ring before leaping the apron...and then to the top rope, before dropping down towards Drazon...

 

 

 

...who avoids the single axehandle, catching Maddix in his arms and charging towards the corner and ramming Maddix's spine into the buckles! With a cry of pain, Maddix collapses out of the corner and into Drazon's body. But Drazon pushes him right off, against the turnbuckles. In flies a Drazon kick, lashing across Maddix's sternum and driving the air out of Maddix's lungs. Drazon follows up with a second kick, this time a little lower...then a third, lower still, into the gut of Maddix. Backing away, Drazon then swings with a fourth. Maddix gets his hands up in an effort to block the blow but takes the full force of the kick on his hands which snap back. But before he can even feel that, Drazon is already whipping his left leg around with a kick to the kidneys!

 

Comet: "My word, those kicks are just brutal!"

 

Riley: "It's all about how you use your spare time Comet. When you take up the martial arts, you get stiff kicks. But if you spend all day smoking 'doodies' then your legs start dancing in a whole different way. Or...so I've been told."

 

Comet: "Right. You've had more than your fair share of trips to Amsterdam, Robert."

 

Riley: "I...have a passion for tulips!"

 

Comet: "A passion for two lips more like. Two male lips. Two male ana..."

 

Riley: "WOW, what a KICK by DRAZON~!"

 

With the kicks of Drazon weakening his body into mush, Maddix wobbles aimlessly away from Drazon as he tries to get a reprieve. But JD is right in after him, grabbing Landon and hipblocking him across the ring. Maddix bounces off the mat, right back to his feet for a Drazon palmstrike which staggers the human pinball that is known as Landon Maddix. Back into the ropes falls Maddix, using them as a launchpad to fire a clothesline at Drazon. But The Hardcore Maniac ducks the clothesline, kicking Maddix in the kneecaps on his way past and dropping him to the knees. Maddix is looking increasingly weak now, slumping forward as Drazon runs past and hits the ropes, coming back...

 

 

...but Maddix ducks the Shining Black attempt!

 

"OOOOOOOOHH!!"

 

The crowd gasp at the close call, as Drazon turns around and storms in but takes an elbow into the gut. Reaching up, Maddix then takes Drazon over with a snapmare, quickly punching him in the back of the head. This seems to anger Drazon more than anything. But the dropkick that follows from Maddix has much more effect, snapping his head forward and knocking him for a loop, allowing Maddix to make the pinfall attempt...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Landon leaps back to his feet, hitting the ropes quickly as Drazon gets back to his feet. In rushes Maddix, hitting Drazon at full pelt with a shoulder for some odd reason. Odd because, of course, Drazon stands tall and Maddix falls harmlessly to the canvas, getting right back up. Hitting the ropes again, Maddix charges in...but this time his brains return, as he fakes out Drazon. And as Drazon prepares himself for a shoulder contact, he leaves himself wide open for a boot to the gut and a quick DDT!

 

Comet: "Would you look at that! Citizen Maddix out-smarting the veteran JD!"

 

Drazon's head bounces off the canvas, leaving him laid out on the mat as meanwhile Maddix drops to his knees and begins to breath deeply. But his brief rest is cut short, as Drazon begins to get back up moments later. Maddix composes himself and meets Drazon with a right hand before going for a boot to the gut...which is promptly kicked away by Drazon, leaving an off-balance Maddix open for a left hand to the jaw! The force rocks Maddix, dropping him to his knees once more. This time though, Drazon pulls up the two hundred and eighteen pound youngster, scooping him up effortlessly and dropping him throat first across the top rope! The rope snaps Maddix back, into an equally effortlessly T-bone Suplex!

 

Riley: "You know...I'm sure somewhere, Suicide King is sat back in luxurious surroundings, watching this with a big smile on his face. Which is a good thing Comet."

 

Comet: "If he were smart, he'd be getting prepared for Ashes II Ashes."

 

Riley: "...I'm sure he's also noting down everything you're saying goofy."

 

Having landed hard on his neck and shoulders, Maddix rolls and slumps onto his back as Drazon strolls over and makes a rather relaxed cover...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Drazon shows no emotion as he helps Maddix back up to his feet, nailing him with a kick deep into the gut. Over doubles Maddix, coughing up a large mouthful of spit as he does, while Drazon slowly but effectively pulls back with his right hand before DRIVING it into the side of Maddix's head, dropping him all the way back down to the canvas. Some of the split crowd cheer, others don't, as the gutsy Maddix gets right back up...only to fall right back into a seated position.

 

Riley: "Man, when you call them dehabilitating kicks, you're not lying Comet. These kicks are numbing every sense, every nerve...every part of Maddix's body."

 

With Maddix seated, Drazon casually takes a step back...before stepping back in...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...with one of the darndest spinal tap kicks you're ever likely to see!!!

 

Comet: "Jesus H.!"

 

Riley: "Ouch. That'll hurt Maddix's grandkids!"

 

Maddix's back arches in pain and he slowly falls back to the canvas, where Drazon drops a vicious knee across the sternum before making the cover...

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Again, Drazon is emotionless as he drags Maddix up from the mat. Hooking over the arm, Drazon grabs Maddix's tights and lifts him up from the canvas. But before he can fall back with a suplex, Maddix kicks his legs frantically to shift his weight back south and takes JD over in a small package...

 

 

Comet: "Woah!"

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

A little surprised to be caught so easily, Drazon rolls back to his feet and takes the full force of a Maddix Dropsault into the chest that rocks him backwards towards the ropes. The Hardcore Maniac falls, bouncing off the middle rope and to his feet...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!!"

 

...and a knifedge chop!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!!"

 

...and another!

 

Drazon ducks an attempted third however, grabbing Landon by the arm and whipping him into the ropes, waiting for him to come back with arm cocked and ready for a palmstrike. But Maddix ducks under that, spinning Drazon around with a handful of denim and looking to lift him for an inverted atomic drop. JD proves too heavy though, blocking the move and pulling Landon into a standing headscissors.

 

Riley: "Yes! Drop him, DROP HIM!!!"

 

Wasting a little time in re-adjusting his grip, Drazon's attention is then grabbed by Megan Skye jumping onto the apron and distracting the fickle Mr Soapdish. And you can guess what happens next...

 

 

 

 

Riley: "LOW BLOW!"

 

Yep.

 

Riley: "Dammit, Maddix used a lowblow! KING! WHERE'S KING!?!"

 

Grabbing his pelvic area, Drazon groans and collapses onto his hands and knees...puffing and wheezing for breath. The damage done, Megan and Maddix exchange a theatrical wink and off Megan drops to the floor, allowing Maddix to calmly get back to his feet with a grin plastered on his face. The crowd, although split, are roaring away in support of Maddix as he rolls Drazon onto his back and slowly backs off the ropes. As he comes back, Soapdish turns around, oblivious to what just happened and seeing only the Dangerous Kneedrop from Landon Maddix!

 

Riley: "What I want to know is...why do the referees ALWAYS go straight for the valet?"

 

Comet: "If you don't know that, then...oh, nevermind. I just remembered."

 

Riley: "...bitch."

 

Rolling through with the Dangerous Kneedrop, which by the way is very dangerous, Maddix stops and looks out to the crowd, beaming as half of them break into cheers. But his bliss is soon to be short-lived as Drazon pops up off the canvas to a roar from the other half! Confused by the audience reaction, Landon wheels around, to be met by one of those stinging JD kicks across the hamstring! Maddix drops briefly to one knee but gets back up quickly and jabs Drazon in the jaw. That snaps Drazon's head back, but he comes straight back with another stinging kick across the leg. The leg buckles, down goes Maddix and Drazon moves in with a front facelock to pull Landon up from his knee and to his feet. Locked up, Landon tries to struggle free, but JD tightens up the hold before falling back and spiking Maddix on his head at a sickening angle!!

 

Comet: "JD DDT!"

 

Maddix ends up like a tent post in mud, stuck upright momentarily before slowly teetering back down to the mat, where Drazon hooks him up and makes the cover...

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

TWOONLY!

 

This time, Drazon looks a little peeved, but tries to put that out of his mind as he gets back to his feet and grabs a handful of Maddix's hair to pull him from the canvas. Once he's up, Drazon ducks behind the youngster and smashes him between the shoulder blades with a clubbing blow, knocking the wind out Maddix and weakening him in an instant. Quickly, JD then takes the chance to apply a waistlock...but a series of four quick back elbows scupper his plans for a German Suplex. With a go behind, Maddix now clubs Drazon between the shoulder blades. Not once, but twice...before grabbing the bald head of his veteran opponent and flipping forward with The Throwback...

 

 

 

...only for Drazon to counter, catching Maddix in a reverse front facelock and sitting out and dropping La Cucaracha with an inverted DDT!

 

Comet: "Nice counter by Citizen Drazon."

 

Riley: "A legal counter too, none of this lowblow crap!"

 

Hitting the mat, Maddix's body jolts and flops into a lifeless looking position, as Drazon reaches forward and hooks a leg...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

SHOULDERUP!

 

 

Comet: "But it's not enough Robert!"

 

Riley: "Maybe he should have just booted him in the balls."

 

Comet: "Oh it was over thirty second ago Robert. Get over it."

 

Drazon looks down at the fallen frame of La Cucaracha, sighing to himself...before almost caving Maddix's forehead in with a brutal elbow smash! Sure that's enough, Drazon makes another pin attempt...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

AGAINONLYTWO!

 

"MADD - IX! MADD - IX! MADD - IX!

 

Sections of the crowd now begin to get behind the two-time ICTV Champion, while the three-time USJL Champion pulls Maddix up by the roots once more. Pushing Maddix into the ropes, Drazon waits for them to do their job and bounce Landon back before firing off a kick to the gut before hooking Maddix for another JD DDT. But Landon is 'once bitten, twice shy', knowing what's coming and finding the strength to lift and drop Drazon throat-first across the nearby top rope!

 

Comet: "There you go Robert...no lowblows there."

 

Riley: "Yeah, but this time he used the ropes. You know that's illegal!"

 

Comet: "When pinning someone yes."

 

Riley: "You never saw Muhammed Ali drop Mike Tyson across the top rope did you."

 

Comet: "But...that's boxing!"

 

Bouncing off the ropes and off the canvas, Drazon falls awkwardly and seems to twist his ankle. But he grits his teeth and gets right back all the same. Still, Nick Soapdish seems concerned and comes over to check on Drazon's condition. Which is a foolish idea, seeing as Landon Maddix is firing off some Sweet Disciple Music...

 

 

 

*SMAAACK!*

 

...which Soapdish, quite unsurprisingly, takes the full force of!!!

 

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd groan, partly for the stiffness of the kick and partly for the unimaginative booking, as Soapdish falls to the canvas. Maddix seems concerned, but that concern allows Drazon to punch Maddix back into the turnbuckles. Following in with a big clothesline, Drazon beckons Maddix out of the corner. Slowly Maddix answers the beckoning, more out of grogginess than will, as Drazon meets him coming with a straight headbutt...causing both men to grab their heads in pain.

 

 

First to shrug off that pain is JD, grabbing Maddix and pulling him into a knee to the gut, which he quickly follows up with a kneelift. The force of which snaps Maddix's into the turnbuckles. The force of which bounces Maddix back out and into Drazon's waiting arms. Drazon hooks Maddix, quickly popping the hips and throwing the two hundred and eighteen pounder with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Maddix hits hard, with Drazon scrambling right after him to make the cover out of his veteran instinct. But his veteran instinct doesn't account for the KOed referee.

 

Riley: "Okay...valet distraction, ref bump. We should be cue a run-in pretty soon."

 

Getting up off of the cover, Drazon turns to the fallen ref and curses as he knows exactly what the result would have been. But it's not. So Drazon goes back to Maddix and looks to keep up the offense, pulling up the youngster and kicking him violently in the kneecap. To his knees drops Landon, with Drazon's eyes locked on Maddix's swaying face with malice and intent in his eyes. Drazon then suddenly breaks away and hits the ropes, coming back...

 

 

 

...and getting wiped out by a diving clothesline by the desperate Maddix!

 

Comet: "Straight out of the mean streets of nowhere!"

 

Riley: "Yeah, but there's only so many of those clotheslines that Maddix can summon up the strength for."

 

With Drazon down, Maddix wearily uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet, with Megan right by him to offer the towel. Which Maddix takes, wiping the sweat from his brow...before turning to look at the fallen Soapdish. He shows no signs of movement, which brings a smile to Landon's face. A smile of cunning. A smile that seems to say 'this is too easy'...as he unfolds the towel, to find a pair of gleaming brass knuckles consealed within!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Split or not, the crowd pop as Maddix slowly slips the brass knuckles on his right hand...

 

 

 

...only to get knocked down by someone leaping onto the apron.

 

 

Someone who just happens to be 250 pounds and wearing the ICTV Championship belt!

 

Comet: "IT'S MAX KING!"

 

Riley: "Man, I rock!"

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

The crowd are livid as King steps into the ring, beckoning Maddix back up, unconcerned by the recovering Hardcore Maniac a few feet behind. Slowly both Maddix and Drazon reach their feet, King totally transfixed on the former as he charges forward. But his clothesline misses by a mile as Maddix ducks, leaving King to career forward...and into the Iron Claw by Drazon!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The deadly hold takes potent effect as King tries frantically to get free, but can't with Drazon clenching in on the nerves in his face. But he gets a reprieve as Drazon pushes King off...

 

 

 

...into a brass knuckles shot from Maddix!!!

 

Comet: "And DOWN goes King!"

 

Removing the knux, Maddix angrily throws the weapon down on King as he points the finger in the new ICTV Champ's face as he puts the badmouth on. But all that leaves him open for Kelly Connelly, who has entered the ring with the sold purpose of grabbing Maddix. Only, she gets cut off by a spear by Megan Skye to a MASSIVE pop from the raucous crowd! The two men start to claw and scratch at each other, rolling across and eventually out of the ring, with Maddix not knowing whever to help out or not. Meanwhile, Drazon watches all this extra-curricular commotion in bemusement. Maddix eventually decides Megan can handle herself and turns back around to continue his match...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...which is continued by a Drazon Yakuza Kick!!!

 

 

Comet: "This is sheer chaos Robert! Drazon with the Yakuza Kick, Maddix goes down...Megan and Kelly are on the outside brawling. Max King is out cold. As is Soapdish..."

 

Riley: "Hold my coat Comet, I feel like doing a run-in."

 

Comet: "Phff!"

 

With Maddix's lights dimmed from the Yakuza Kick, Drazon wastes little time in hauling up La Cucaracha once more. Maddix is groggy, hardly able to stand as he slumps slowly forward into Drazon's arms for a moment, before JD pushes him off and steps behind Maddix, lifting him up for some Demolition Dreams. But Maddix is able to float over and out of the impact, landing safely on his feet and hooking his leg around Drazon's head with a Backbrain Wheelkick! Down goes JD, with Maddix right on top of him and taking JD over with an Oklahoma Roll...

 

 

 

 

...as another referee slides into the ring!

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!

 

Replacement referee Mark Hebner can only reach two, much to the surprise of Maddix who thought that that was all. But Drazon is still in the match and getting back up, reaching his knees as Maddix pulls himself back up to his feet and boots Drazon in the face. Drazon shakes it off though, diving forward and grabbing Maddix around the waist as he gets to his feet...looking to hit a T-Bone, but getting an ear full of elbow for his troubles! Away stumbles Drazon, as Maddix whips around and looks to smack Drazon with some Sweet Chin Music...only for Drazon to expertly kick Maddix's leg away and send him spinning around, back into a short clothesline!

 

But suddenly, just as it looks like the tide of the match has turned, here comes Max King again weilding a steel chair! Drazon sees Max sliding into the ring though, booting him in the gut as he reaches his feet and grabbing the chair. Max is too stunned to react, as Drazon sees red as he feels the steel chair in his hands...

 

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

...and smashes it over Max's head!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

...before turning around and wiping out MADDIX with the chair!

 

Comet: "Woah, woah! Drazon has snapped here!"

 

By the time Drazon realises what he did, it's already too late.

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

Referee Hebner rushes over to Funyon, confirming what is already an academic result...as behind him, Drazon looks down at the steel chair in his hands and as the red mist clears he begins to see exactly what he's done.

 

Funyon: "Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match as a result of a disqualification... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX!"

 

The crowd don't seem overly pleased, booing the decision rather than the victor...as Drazon slams the chair down in disgust at himself, before leaving the ring angrily. Passing the continuing catfight, Drazon continues to stride angrily up the ramp, while Max and Maddix remain laid out in the ring.

 

Comet: "Well, not the end we hoped for, thanks to Max King..."

 

Riley: "Thanks to Jamie Drazon you mean. King didn't hit anyone with a chair did he?"

 

Comet: "He was going to...anyway, we've still got Toxxic and Andrea to go and with limited T.V time to go. So let's wrap this one up quickly. Stay tuned Citizens!"

Edited October 14, 2004 by 5_moves_of_doom

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

“Toxxic?”

 

Only one voice in the SWF carries that particular ring of querulous determination mixed with faint nervousness.

 

“Yes, Ben?” Toxxic says, stopping but not turning around. Ben Hardy catches the World Champion up and darts around in front of him, microphone at the ready.

 

“Toxxic, I’d just like to get your comments on the outcome of your match with Mike Van Siclen on Storm,” the SWF’s resident interviewer begins. “You have successfully defended your title and at the same time ended the career of another famous SWF superstar - what is in the future now, for you and for Revolution Zero?” Toxxic looks at Hardy for a few seconds, then readjusts the World Title over his right shoulder and begins to speak.

 

“The first thing, the most immediate thing that comes to mind... is defending this same title against Andrea Montgomery tonight,” the Straight-Edge Sensation tells him. “And once I’ve done that, then I’ll think further into the future. Make no mistake Ben, I haven’t finished with the Urban Empire yet. Mike may have gone for good, but there is still Todd Cortez to consider. The man who attacked me after my match on Storm.”

 

“But people may consider that Todd was merely upholding the honour of his tag partner, whom you had just spat on,” Ben says, chancing his arm slightly, but Toxxic isn’t in an aggressive mood tonight.

 

“Well, that’s their prerogative,” the World Champion shrugs. “As for me, I intend to track Cortez down and exercise my prerogative to mash the little bugger into the ground. Todd is still trying to stop the Revolution, and one day soon he will learn what a futile practice that is.”

 

“So are the rumours true? Are you seeking to expand the ranks of Revolution Zero?” Hardy presses, thinking he sees a hint... but backs down as Toxxic fixes him with his steel-grey stare.

 

“What I do is my business, not yours,” he tells the interviewer. “What Revolution Zero does is our business, not yours. It only becomes other people’s business when we decide... and by the time you are our business, it’s already too late.”

 

Toxxic pushes past Ben Hardy and walks off into the depths of the Key Arena, leaving Hardy and Gus to stare (and film) after him.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

The lights come back up in the Key Arena as SWF Lockdown returns from commercial, and the capacity crowd goes WILD~! They wave signs wildly in the air, bearing messages such as ‘FURY & CROSS RULEZ JOO!’, lots of ‘WE MISS YOU MIKE!’ and even a couple bearing the unpopular slogan ‘CAN’T STOP THE REVOLUTION!’. However, dominating the front row is a six-man collection of letters spelling out the mysterious word ‘WHOAT!’. The cameras pan around before settling on the announce table where Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley sit side-by-side.

 

“Welcome Citizens, to the main event!” Comet says excitedly. “On Storm we saw the ending of a long and decorated career as Mike Van Siclen was forced into early retirement by the World Heavyweight Champion, but there is no rest for the wicked as Toxxic is defending his title again tonight against the lady who won herself a title shot at Genesis V - Andrea Montgomery.”

 

“Such a shame it’s not title vs career again,” Riley muses, “although I suppose there has to be somebody in the undercard...”

 

The uncharitable colour commentator is interrupted by the lights dimming, quickly followed by an-

 

*BOOOM!!*

 

-explosion of green pyro as the familiar bouncy opening guitar line of No Doubt’s ‘Just A Girl’ hits the PA system!

 

“RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

The lights snap back up, but now with green filters that bathe the entire arena with an emerald glaze as green sparks shoot up from the soundstage, and Andrea Montgomery strides through! The challenger is wearing a leather jacket and shades in the manner of her old Wildcards companion, the legendary British wrestler Divefire!

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Smarktmarks Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Championship!” Funyon booms over the cheering of the crowd. “Introducing first; the challenger, from Biloxi, Mississippi; weighing in tonight at 143lbs... ANNDDDRRRRRREEEEEEEAAAAAA... MOOOOOOOONNNNTTGOMERRRRRRRYYYYYYY!!”

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Andrea runs down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans as she goes, then jumps lightly up onto the apron before taking hold of the top rope and launching herself into the ring! Funyon steps back slightly, a small smile on his face as he watches the girl from Biloxi wave at the fans before settling into one corner to await her opponent.

 

“Just listen to the reception for Andrea Montgomery!” Comet exclaims. “This young lady has shot up the card here in the SWF, and how wonderful to see a new emissary of JUSTICE~ taking on the egotistical leader of Revolution Zero!”

 

“You’re only singing her praises because she beat Johnny Dangerous with your move,” Riley mutters.

 

“The Falling Star Bomb is a classic, and anyone utilising it should be treated with reverence and respect!” Comet asserts.

 

“Treated with Electro-Convulsive Therapy, more like.”

 

The commentators’ bickering is cut short as the Smarktron suddenly whites out and the opening chord of ‘Rookie’ by Boy Sets Fire crashes out over the Key Arena. As it does so the Smarktron starts to darken to black, and jagged white letters flash up to spell out a familiar slogan:

 

‘PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG...’

 

As the guitar riff starts the black screen shifts and becomes the top of a spiky-haired head that raises and stares out with piercing grey eyes before a lopsided grin creases the right-hand side of Toxxic's face. The bass drum starts and clips of his matches flash up - the All-Show Brawl with the Insane Luchador, the infamous Glass Jawbreaker on Aecas, dropping Nathaniel Kibagami on his head with the Caffeine Bomb and the Super Intoxxication that won him the World Title - before moving onto footage of Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the four blasts of red pyro that climb the entrance ramp before the final, stagewide eruption as the main riff starts-

 

*BAM-BAM-BAM-bap-BOOOM!!*

 

-that signifies the arrival of the SWF's premier straight-edger! The smoke from the explosion starts to drift, and after a couple of seconds the Straight-Edge Sensation strides out wearing his customised England soccer shirt in honour of his home country’s match against Azerbaijan earlier in the evening, World Title slung over his right shoulder and with Jet at his side.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“AND HIS OPPONENT!” Funyon bellows, desperately trying to drown out the wall of boos from the Seattle crowd, “accompanied to the ring by Jet; from Nottingham, England; weighing in tonight at 218lbs he is the reigning and defending SWF WORLD... HEAVYWEIGHT... CHAMPION... the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’... TOXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIC!!”

 

Toxxic strides down the ramp, looking neither right nor left at the jeering fans. He rolls under the bottom rope into the ring and pops back to his feet, before throwing his arms wide as the verse comes in to send another explosion rocketing up from each turnbuckle!

 

*bap-bap*

 

*BOOOM!!*

 

‘I never thought this could be me,

I guess you never do until it’s happening to you

Like all the fun turns into shame

And all the ‘could-have-beens’ rearrange...’

 

‘Rookie’ fades out and Toxxic hands the World Heavyweight Title over to Matthew Kivell before stripping his shirt off and throwing it over the top rope to Jet. Meanwhile, Andrea has divested herself of her jacket and shades and is shifting her weight from one foot to the other, ready for the contest.

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

Toxxic reacts instantly, charging towards the diminutive challenger and swinging his right arm in a clothesline - or, what would have been a clothesline if Andrea hadn’t ducked under the blow and rolled forwards before popping back up to her feet and turning to face the champion. Toxxic has swung around to follow her, but merely nods thoughtfully before approaching more slowly.

 

“Toxxic certainly isn’t used to facing opponents faster than him,” Comet says, “and you have to wonder if this unfamiliarity could tell in this match.”

 

“But at the same time, the Hot Commodity has the luxury of a strength advantage which means that he can use all his moves on Montgomery, including the lifting-based ones,” Riley argues as Toxxic reaches out, beckoning Andrea in for a lock-up. “It’s all a trade-off.”

 

“But Citizen Montgomery is always at a strength disadvantage,” Comet shoots back, “so she can wrestle without having to make adjustments to her style. No Robert, I believe that could give Andrea the edge.”

 

“Bottom line; Drea sucks, Toxxic doesn’t,” Riley says, unwilling to participate in any more technical dialogue.

 

Andrea is unwilling to lock up with the larger World Champion and instead opts to wave her arms at the fans to coax them into making some noise. Seattle responds, and two warring chants start up.

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

Toxxic seems to give up on tempting Andrea into a lock-up; instead the World Champion presses forwards, seeking to back the girl from the Mississippi up against a turnbuckle. His ploy seems to be working, but at the last moment Andrea dives through Toxxic’s legs and then jumps up behind him. The straight-edger turns but Drea starts lashing out and catches him in the jaw with two right hands, a left elbow strike, a right-handed slap and then jumps up to hit a picture-perfect dropsault and stagger the World Champion back into the corner!

 

“Coastal Combo!” Comet yells.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Toxxic shakes his head to clear it, but Andrea is already moving again. The challenger sprints forward and vaults up to wrap her hands around the Straight-Edge Sensation’s head, then falls backwards and plants her feet in his stomach to take Toxxic over with a monkey flip! Toxxic lands hard on his back and Andrea hits the ropes before coming off, doing a cartwheel and corkscrewing through the air to come down on the champion with a running Phoenix Splash!

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Andrea hooks the leg, looking to see what she can get from this early offensive...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but nothing more, as Toxxic kicks out just after Kivell’s hand strikes the mat for the second time. Andrea clamps on a front facelock as Toxxic starts to rise but the World Champion simply wraps his arms around her waist, hoists the lighter wrestler off her feet and bulldozes forward to smash her against the nearest buckle. The impact causes Andrea to loosen her grip and Toxxic squirms out of her grasp... then lashes out with a black-nailed hand in a stinging slap that catches Drea square on the jaw!

 

*SMACK!*

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Matthew Kivell admonishes Toxxic but the British wrestler shows none of the traditional courtesy of his country and starts hammering Andrea with right hands as she tries to cover up in the corner. Seeing that words aren’t working, Kivell decides to try numbers instead:

 

‘ONE!’

 

‘TWO!’

 

‘THREE!’

 

‘FO-’

 

Toxxic backs off before the five-count but the fire hasn’t subsided from the champion’s grey eyes; he moves straight back in and seizes Andrea roughly, then jerks his body back to Irish whip her across the ring. At the point of release Andrea manages to hold on and reverse the momentum to send Toxxic into the far buckle instead - however, the straight-edger simply vaults up to the top buckle and comes flying back at her with a diving clothesline-

 

*WHAP!*

 

-but Andrea dropkicks him out of midair!

 

“YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Toxxic is on his back on the canvas again, and Andrea wastes no time in getting to her feet before simply backflipping and landing a standing moonsault on the downed Brit. The breath blasts out from Toxxic’s lungs again and Drea heads to the nearest ropes before jumping up to the top one and corkscrewing back in midair to land a leg across the straight-edger’s throat!

 

*BANG!*

 

“That’s the Hangover,” Riley shouts in outrage, “she can’t do that!”

 

“Just watch her,” Comet returns with the faintest hint of smugness.

 

Andrea dives across Toxxic’s prone form to hook the leg and go for another cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but Toxxic kicks out again, and Seattle settles back into its seats. This time Toxxic is slightly slower to his feet and Andrea knees him in the gut to keep the Brit doubled over before placing one leg over the back of his neck, then jumping up and hooking the other one as well before hurling herself backwards and taking Toxxic over with a hurricanrana! Toxxic skids across the ring but the momentum of the move helps him come back to his feet quickly - albeit clutching the back of his neck - and he turns in search of his tormentor. By this time Andrea is running across the ring towards him, and just before she reaches him the challenger does a front handspring and propels herself up to snare Toxxic for another rana.

 

But Toxxic grabs her as she reaches the apex of her jump, spins around 180 degrees... and powerbombs her into the turnbuckles directly behind him.

 

*WHAM!!*

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“Merciful Zeus!” Comet cries in sudden alarm as Andrea falls forward and Toxxic drops to one knee, “Toxxic could have broken Andrea’s neck right there!”

 

“What brilliant improvisation!” Riley shouts. “That’s the mark of a true champion, Comet!”

 

Toxxic cracks his neck from side-to-side, winces, and refocuses on the form of Andrea Montgomery, who is lying without moving on facedown on the canvas. Referee Kivell stoops to check on the challenger, but the Straight-Edge Sensation simply shoves him aside and hauls the girl from Biloxi back to her feet. There is a dangerous expression on Toxxic’s face, and it doesn’t diminish as he drives Andrea’s face into his knee, then hooks her up and drops back with a DDT.

 

*CRUNCH-WHAM!!*

 

“Sobering Thought!” Riley laughs as Andrea’s body remains vertical for a moment after impact before toppling over onto her back. Matthew Kivell starts to yell at Toxxic for pushing him, but the Straight-Edge Sensation merely sits up and flips the referee a v-sign.

 

“The momentum of this match certainly took a shift just now,” Comet says as the replay flashes up onto the screen, “but at least we can see here that Citizen Montgomery hits the turnbuckles backfirst, not neckfirst. Hopefully she is OK to continue - although how much longer that will be true for is open to debate...”

 

Toxxic rolls over and covers Andrea, making sure to hook the leg as he does so. The Key Arenea holds its breath, not knowing what condition Drea is in...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but she kicks out, and a huge wave of relief floods through the crowd!

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Toxxic looks decidedly unimpressed at Montgomery’s willingness to continue, but the Straight-Edge Sensation brings her up before locking both hands around Andrea’s neck and snapmaring her over. The momentum causes Andrea to end up in a sitting position, and without hesitation Toxxic dives forwards and dropkicks her square in the back of the head. Andrea falls over onto her front, clutching her skull, and Toxxic pulls her up slightly before flipping over her back with an Oklahoma Roll.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but Andrea manages to get her shoulders off the canvas, and the World Champion is denied once more. This time Toxxic grabs Andrea’s thick braid to bring her up to her feet, and the crowd gives the only appropriate response:

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“Citizens, I can make no apologies for our champion’s behaviour tonight,” Comet says in disgust. “I have no love at all for Toxxic, but I have never seen him like this before. Cocky, yes; aggressive, yes; but never sadistic, and this is what his performance is now verging on.”

 

“At the start of the match, Toxxic got a taste of the frustration all those lumbering brutes who face him normally get,” Riley says in response, “the thing is that Toxxic is getting a chance to vent those frustrations!”

 

Toxxic is still holding Andrea’s braid firmly, using his greater height to keep the dazed challenger upright and in pain. Then he draws his head back, and-

 

*CRACK!*

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“Mother of Medusa!” Comet gasps. “Toxxic just headbutted Andrea Montgomery!”

 

Andrea staggers backwards, clutching her forehead. She end up against the ropes, and still blinded by pain she fails to see the World Champion running towards her with arm outstretched. This time the clothesline hits, and it carries Drea right over the top rope - but some instinct compels the girl from Biloxi to hold on, and she ends up lying on the apron. Toxxic backs off as Drea unsteadily pulls herself up, then he runs forward, springs off the second turnbuckle and flies over the top rope to snare the challenger in a hurricanrana that takes them both down to the floor of the Key Arena!

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

Toxxic is first up, unsurprisingly; the Brit habitually cracks his neck again and winces at the result, then takes hold of Drea’s braid again and starts to pull her up. However, he has one hand holding the back of his neck and therefore doesn’t have quite the control he had before. Seeing her chance, Andrea fires back one, two, three right hands into his ribs!

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Toxxic releases his grip and staggers back, the pain in his midsection from the early portion of the match re-awoken. Drea woozily steps forward and shoots for the face, but Toxxic catches her arm before almost falling backwards and whipping the challenger into the steel guardrail!

 

*CLANG!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Andrea slumps to her knees and clutches her face, and between her fingers a think trickle of red starts to emerge.

 

“Citizen Montgomery is busted open!” Comet cries in dismay. “She must have hit her head on that guardrail!”

 

“Bah,” Riley snorts, “Andrea blades!”

 

“What?” Comet asks, looking sideways at his commentary partner.

 

“She blades,” Riley repeats. “She cuts herself with a razorblade that she secretes about her person in order to get sympathy from the crowd and blame her defeat on bloodloss!”

 

“...you’re weird.”

 

Toxxic takes a few deep breaths and checks his ribs are OK to continue, then looks up at the ring as he hears Kivell bellow ‘THREE!’. Toxxic knows very well that he’ll keep the belt on a count-out, but being who he is he wants to defeat his opponent in the ring. That doesn’t mean that he can’t take advantage of the environment for a few more seconds however, so he hauls Drea to her feet again and takes hold of her arm before Irish whipping her into the ring steps. This attempt does not go quite to plan.

 

*CLANG!*

 

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Andrea Montgomery wipes the blood from her face and looks up. Toxxic is on his back on the far side of the now-slightly-askew steel steps, having been propelled thigh-first into them and flipping straight over. The Straight-Edge Sensation appears to have real pain in his legs, but nonetheless he is starting to pull himself up using the ring apron. Drea pushes herself to her feet, judges the distance carefully, and starts to run.

 

After two steps she vaults up to the steel guard rail and as the fans whoop and cheer she runs along it, cornering deftly before sliding for about a metre and then leaping off. Toxxic has heard the commotion and turns unsteadily but he is completely unprepared for the 143lb human missile that flies straight at him, grabs him by the head and spins around to drive him into the arena floor with a Tornado DDT!

 

*WHAM!*

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

“What agility on that Grind Session!” Comet yells in amazement as the roof nearly blows off the Key Arena. “Andrea Montgomery has to be one of the most visually exciting athletes ever to compete in the SWF!”

 

“I always thought Tom Flesher was very-”

 

“SILENCE, MISCREANT!”

 

Andrea clambers back up and takes a moment to wave at the fans, then realises that Matthew Kivell is now up to ‘EIGHT!’. Knowing full well that she can’t take the title via countout, Andrea starts to try and heave Toxxic up. The World Champion is budging, but slowly, and she can’t afford to fail. Instead she rolls quickly into the ring and back out again in order to break the count, then sets to work again.

 

‘ONE!’

 

Drea puts Toxxic in a front facelock and heaves, but the man from Nottingham is too heavy for her to deadlift from the floor. Accordingly she abandons that approach and moves around behind him, then tucks her head under his left arm as if going for a backdrop and puts all the power of her legs and back into it. Her back isn’t too fond of the idea, still not having recovered from the powerbomb into the turnbuckles, and the effort makes her head hurt like a male chauvinist after half an hour with Ebony, but nevertheless she is making some progress. Toxxic slowly rises to his feet, almost entirely supported by Andrea Montgomery, who then manages to roll him under the bottom rope and into the ring. She pushes him as far as she can then climbs in as well. Matthew Kivell is obviously concerned about the cut on her forehead, but Drea waves him away as the crowd noise starts to rise.

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“You know, perhaps the match should be stopped,” Riley comments, “that cut should be looked at by trained medical staff.”

 

“After she wins the title, Robert,” Comet states triumphantly, “after she wins the title! Although I’m guessing that’s what you hope to avoid!”

 

Riley seems to be thinking about denying it and claiming that his concern for Andrea was genuine, but a falsehood that size seems to be beyond even him.

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Andrea drags Toxxic a little further towards the centre of the ring, although he is still much closer to one set of ropes that the other. She leaves the World Champion in his prostrate position, then approaches the far cables and takes the top rope in both hands. She pauses for a moment to take a deep breath - then vaults upwards, balances expertly and uses the bounce of the ropes to go flying backwards, sailing clear across the ring above the head of the astounded Matthew Kivell...

 

*WHAM!!*

 

...and landing flush on top of Toxxic with an inch-perfect moonsault!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“Coast To Coast!” Comet yells as the crowd erupts once more. “Can Andrea put him away here?”

 

Drea hooks the leg and puts all of her weight on the champion’s shoulders, leaning into the cover as Kivell drops to make the count...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHRRR-

-but Toxxic kicks out! Andrea looks up at Kivell but the referee remains firm, and she sighs and starts to pull the World Champion up. As Toxxic rises to his feet Drea slaps a side headlock on, then pivots around until she is facing a turnbuckle and runs forward. Her feet carry her to the second buckle, then the top one, and she leaps off seeking to fall over the top rope and guillotine Toxxic’s throat across it...

 

...but Toxxic’s grip abruptly tightens around her waist, and the Straight-Edge Sensation falls backwards to slam her into the canvas with a backdrop suplex! The impact knocks the breath from her lungs and the two wrestlers lie there side-by-side, each one currently unable to rise. Matthew Kivell takes a quick look, then raises his hands and begins his count:

 

‘ONE!’

 

“It was only a matter of time,” Riley states, trying to sound confident. “I knew Toxxic was just luring Andrea into a false sense of security!”

 

‘TWO!’

 

“Then why isn’t he getting up?” Comet asks pointedly. “Or does she require further lulling?”

 

‘THREE!’

 

“The Hot Commodity does not share his gameplan with you,” Riley responds haughtily, “and neither shall I.”

 

‘FOUR!’

 

Finally, Toxxic starts to move. The Straight-Edge Sensation rolls over onto his front and begins to push himself up to his knees, wheezing as he does so. It is his ribs that have taken the majority of the assault from Andrea, but that DDT into the floor mats didn’t help his head any either. Regardless, he keeps going as a familiar chant starts to rise in the Key Arena again.

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

‘FIVE!’

 

Toxxic pushes with his hand on his own knee and manages to lever himself upright, breathing heavily. Andrea is also moving and is on all fours; without thinking about it, the straight-edger takes a quick step forwards and buries his boot in her ribs to send her rolling across the ring.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Kivell admonishes Toxxic once more, but the World Champion isn’t listening. Instead he follows Andrea to where she has ended up and reaches down to lift her. The challenger is easy to hoist up and he places her in a reverse headlock before dropping to one knee and driving the other into the back of her neck. Toxxic immediately pops back up again to his full height before pausing for a second to flip a v-sign at the crowd and then dropping with an Inverted DDT to complete the Detoxx. Kivell drops to his knees in anticipation of the pin, and sure enough Toxxic hooks Andrea’s leg and tries to position all of his 218lbs over the chest of his challenger...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHRRR-

-but Andrea kicks out! Toxxic looks questioningly at Kivell, then rises slowly to his feet, walks to the ropes and steps out to the apron.

 

“What in the name of Moses is Toxxic going for here?” Comet asks. “Common sense would dictate that he try another move quickly to keep Citizen Montgomery down!”

 

“Watch and learn,” is Riley’s only reply.

 

Toxxic takes the top rope in both hands and, in unconscious parody of Andrea a minute or so earlier, takes a deep breath... then vaults up to the top and springboards off, sailing out over the ring and backflipping as he goes with a Shooting Star Legdrop!

 

*BANG!*

 

But Toxxic should have listened to Comet, because at the last minute Andrea rolls out of reach and the World Champion comes down hard on his hip!

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“The Inglorious misses, and now Citizen Montgomery may have her chance!” Comet yells as the noise starts to rise in the Key Arena yet again. “The question is; can she capitalise?”

 

The sight of Toxxic clutching his hip seems to galvanise Andrea - she scrambles to her feet and darts for the ropes, then comes back and fires a basement dropkick straight into the straight-edger’s face! Toxxic snaps backwards, and Andrea grabs a leg in each hand before flipping forwards into a bridged pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHRRRR-

-but Toxxic kicks out! Andrea seems fired up now and she grabs Toxxic in a front facelock the moment the straight-edger starts to rise, then smoothly transitions into an armwringer. Toxxic involuntarily leans forward in an attempt to relieve the pressure on his limb, and Drea deftly dropkicks his left knee while driving her elbow into the back of his head with the result that Toxxic’s face and shoulder are driven hard into the mat with the Magnolia Bloom!

 

*WHAM!*

 

“Stupid name for a move,” Riley mutters.

 

“Oh?” Comet queries. “As opposed to Spike Jenkins’ ‘I Just Broke Your Neck’?”

 

“Drop dead, Spandex monkey.”

 

Toxxic lies facedown on the canvas, but Andrea doesn’t seem to feel an urgent need to follow up her latest move. Instead the girl from Biloxi walks over to the corner of the ring where she stood awaiting Toxxic at the start of the match and begins searching through the pockets of her leather jacket.

 

“She’s getting a weapon!” Riley yells. “Kivell! Disqualify her!”

 

But Andrea Montgomery isn’t getting a weapon. Instead, she straightens up with a small dark object in her hand that she quickly raises to her face. A pair of shades, which she unhurriedly puts on as the crowd noise starts to rise a little more.

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“Citizen Montgomery paying a tribute to our former World Champion and Commissioner, the British wrestler Divefire!” Comet states as realisation dawns.

 

“Lovesick little bitch...” Riley mutters, just loud enough to be heard.

 

Drea starts across the ring, then seems to reconsider. She goes back to the corner and picks up the jacket as well, then quickly pulls it on. Toxxic is starting to get up, and Andrea takes a moment to wipe the blood from her face before approaching the World Champion from behind and, just as he reaches a vertical base, snaring him in a reverse headlock. Drea knows that she can’t hold Toxxic’s greater weight in this artificial position for long, but she can do it long enough to wave at the TV camera. She doesn’t even know if the BBC shows the SWF, but Toxxic has said he used to watch the fed so presumably you can get it somewhere...

 

...then Andrea Montgomery turns and drops, driving the point of her elbow into Toxxic’s chest as the two of them plummet towards the canvas.

 

*BANG!*

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“TURN ‘n’ BURN!” Comet roars over the Seattle crowd. “Straight out of Divefire’s playbook! Take that, you villain!”

 

But Andrea doesn’t go for the pin straight away. Instead she pops back up to her feet, then covers Toxxic. But this isn’t just any cover. One foot on Toxxic’s chest. One hand doing a ‘thumbs up’, the other pointing at the camera. And, above the lowered sunglasses, a wink.

 

This is the Holy Pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHRRRRREEEEEEE-

-but the lack of real pressure on his shoulders means that Toxxic is able to get one off the canvas, and Andrea’s bid to capture the World Title by the most humiliating means possible falls flat. Undeterred, Drea immediately leaps into the air (pushing herself off Toxxic’s ribcage as she does so) and backflips, coming down with a Standing Shooting Star Press on top of the reigning champion!

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Her shades have skittered across the ring, but Drea isn’t bothered about that now. Instead she hooks the leg of the World Champion, and this time puts all her weight on top of him in an effort to prevent him kicking out!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

“NEW CHAMPION!” Comet screams.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Somehow, Toxxic got his shoulder off the mat again and neither Andrea nor the Key Arena can believe it! Matthew Kivell defiantly holds up two fingers however, and Drea gets back to her feet and sheds her leather jacket, then steps out to the apron one more time. There’s no waiting now - Andrea jumps straight up to the top rope and flies out over the ring, somersaulting forwards as she does so, and drops the Springboard 450 Splash-

 

*CRUNCH!*

 

-right onto Toxxic’s knees!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

Drea rolls away clutching her ribs, and Toxxic staggers upright. He hasn’t got time to hang around - he needs to put Drea down now, before she recovers and outmanoeuvres him again. He hauls his opponent up and lashes out with a

 

RIGHT!

 

 

LEFT!

 

 

RIGHT!

 

 

LEFT!

 

 

Toxxic steps back, flips the British v-sign at Andrea and then lunges forward...

 

...DISCUS CLOTHESLINE...

 

...but Andrea ducks, and Toxxic’s attempt to stop his own momentum causes him to fall to his knees! The Straight-Edge Sensation desperately pushes himself upright again, but Andrea goes into a forward roll, springs up as Toxxic turns and catches him with a jawbreaker!

 

“Tuckerman and Roll!” Comet cries in delight as Toxxic drops backwards, clutching his face. “You’ve got him now, Citizen Montgomery!”

 

Andrea starts to climb to the top rope, keeping a careful eye on the Straight-Edge Sensation as she does so. She no longer has quite the dazzling quickness of the early part of the match, and all the shots to the head might have affected her balance slightly. She’s going to have to time this right.

 

Toxxic pushes himself up and begins to look around for his opponent. As he does so, Drea steps out onto the top rope. One, two, three steps; she doesn’t bother with the slide this time but instead leaps off with a crossbody at the rotating champion...

 

...but Toxxic sidesteps her and gives her an extra shove on the way past to drive her face into the mat!

 

*BANG!*

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

Toxxic falls to his knees from the effort, but quickly shakes his head to try and clear it of the throbbing ache in his jaw and starts to stand again. Andrea has rolled over onto her back and is staring up at the Key Arena’s ceiling, but Toxxic doesn’t wait to find out how alert she is; instead he grabs her and starts to bring her up to her feet. Drea seems to be dazed and doesn’t fight it so Toxxic grabs her in a 3/4 headlock... and turns to face the nearest turnbuckle.

 

“Hold on Comet,” Riley squeals in delight, “Andrea’s about to get Intoxxicated!”

 

Boos start to rise in Seattle as the Straight-Edge Sensation runs forward and straight up the buckles, but instead of swinging out and over the top rope like Andrea tried to do earlier Toxxic simply backflips over his opponent...

 

...and crashes to the canvas as he loses his grip when Andrea grabs the top rope and hangs on with all her might, blocking the move! A cough escapes the straight-edger as his lungs protest at the battering they’ve taken this evening, but Toxxic is already trying to force himself up. That suits Andrea just fine, as she grabs the Brit’s spiky black hair to bring him up all the way and they double-underhooks his arms, looking for the Done & Dusted!

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Andrea goes to wrap her leg around Toxxic’s, but the Straight-Edge Sensation is already fighting her grip on him and manages to wrench his left arm free, then twists around behind her! Before Drea can react the straight-edger has a grip on her right arm and is twisting it up into a hammerlock, the first stage of the Repeat To Fade! Toxxic’s left arm snakes around her throat to lock in the Dragon sleeper but Andrea desperately starts pounding left hands into his ribs. She isn’t that strong and the blows might not trouble Toxxic all that much usually, but after tonight his ribs can’t take much more and his grip loosens. For good measure Andrea grabs his shoulder with her left hand and then levers herself off the ground to bring her right knee up and into his face, then drops back to the canvas as Toxxic releases her and staggers back!

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

“DRE-A!” *clap-clap-clap*

 

Andrea picks herself up and looks around at the World Champion. Toxxic is still holding his face, and it looks like her knee hit his nose from the amount of blood seeping through his fingers. Drea moves forward and grabs Toxxic, then attempts to Irish whip him into the ropes. Toxxic is still alert enough to realise what’s going on and he reverses the movement, but this is actually what Drea was aiming for as it leaves the straight-edger in the perfect position. As she approaches the ropes she does a front handspring, hits the ropes with her back and then vaults backwards onto her feet before leaping into the air once more, a beautiful backflip that brings her up to head-height on the startled Toxxic and allows her to hook him for the Delta Cutter! Andrea feels her momentum half at just the right point, and for a split second before she falls forwards she is poised perfectly vertically, perfectly balanced, above the World Champion.

 

And in that one perfect moment Toxxic’s right arm clamps around her head, and his left arm reaches up to hook her right leg.

 

“No!” Comet yells.

 

“Yes!” Riley shouts at the exact same moment.

 

Andrea feels the momentum shift and her body start to fall forward again, but neither she nor gravity is in control now. Instead Toxxic has her trapped, and despite his burning ribs the Straight-Edge Sensation has enough control left to carry his 143lb burden a couple of steps backwards to the centre of the ring. He pauses there for a moment...

 

...then sits out, and lets gravity do its work.

 

*WHAM!!*

 

““CAFFEINE BOMB!” Riley yells at the top of his voice as Toxxic retains the pinning cradle and Matthew Kivell drops to count. “No-one’s ever kicked out!”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

*DING-DING-DING*

 

And on that at least, Bobby Riley is telling the truth.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner and STILL the SWF World Heavyweight Champion,” Funyon booms over the massive roar of displeasure from the Key Arena that threatens to drown out both him and the opening bars of ‘Rookie’, “the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’... TOXXXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!”

 

Toxxic falls backwards, releasing Andrea Montgomery’s right leg. For a few seconds the Straight-Edge Sensation lies still, then rolls over and, shakily, starts to rise. He can still stand at the moment, no doubt due to the adrenaline still coursing through his system. In the morning though, he’s going to be wishing he’d never stepped into the ring tonight. Nevertheless, as Matthew Kivell hands him the belt Toxxic buckles it around his waist, wearily ascends the turnbuckle and - haltingly - spreads his arms wide, palms flat. The fans roar back their derision, but Toxxic wasn’t doing it to get approval. It was more to prove that he still could.

 

As Andrea starts to stir in the ring Toxxic climbs down and takes one last look at his former challenger, then rolls gingerly under the bottom rope, shares a quick hug with Jet and sets off up the ramp. What he doesn’t notice is the glances Jet sends back at the ring, towards the girl with the long brown hair who is being helped into a sitting position by Matthew Kivell.

 

 

 

FADE OUT

 

 

 

Copyright Smartmarks Wrestling Federation, 2004

‘Raising Workrate By Typing Faster’

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Toxxic and Jet are halfway up the ramp now, and the World Champion is looking battered but triumphant. ‘Rookie’ is still playing over the PA system... but abruptly it cuts out. Toxxic looks up, mildly surprised at the disappearance of his theme music but assuming it is a technical error. However, as the lights start to dim it becomes apparent that the change is all too deliberate.

 

“Er... what’s going on?” Riley hisses.

 

The lights are barely at half power now. The crowd has started to whisper amongst themselves, but Toxxic just looks bored, wondering who or what is trying to upstage him.

 

He gets his answer as the guitar line starts to play. Lilting, soft, melodic. A tune that Toxxic - that the entire SWF fanbase - never thought they’d hear again. And what colour there is in Toxxic’s pale skin suddenly seems to drain from his face.

 

The Smarktron flickers. Words appear. They waver briefly, then solidify.

 

 

 

Of old the skilled first made themselves invincible

to await the enemy’s vincibility.

 

Invincibility lies in oneself.

Vincibility lies in the enemy.

 

Thus the skilled can make themselves invincible.

They cannot cause the enemy’s vincibility.

 

Thus it is said, “Victory can be known. It cannot be

made.”

 

-the Sun-Tzu, Chapter Four.”

 

 

 

And across the Key Arena, the familiar chant starts to rise. Two syllables, a simple word that means oh-so much to the World Champion.

 

“SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...”

 

“SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...”

 

“WHAT!?” Bobby Riley screams. “This can’t be happening! He’s gone, Comet! GONE!”

 

“...I don’t know what to say,” is all Cyclone Comet can come up with.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*BAM!*

 

The distortion hits and the arena lights up as a blast of pyro erupts from the top of the entrance ramp, causing Toxxic and Jet to shield themselves... but when the explosion has died away the music is gone; there is no Nevermore, no cloud of sparks and no River Dragon striding through with steel-tipped cane in hand.

 

There is only the ankh. The burning ankh, gigantic, a deep baleful red, that towers over the Straight-Edge Sensation and the entire crowd in the Key Arena.

 

The light glints off Toxxic’s grey eyes and seems to turn them a matching shade. For a moment only, the World Champion stares up at the symbol of his most hated enemy with eyes the colour of blood. Then the ankh fades from the Smarktron, and the Key Arena is left stunned.

 

Silent.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

My opinion of the show will go in the comments thread later on. I must run off to dinner for an hour... two hours at the most. Card will go up after that. Might be descriptionless tonight because I just remembered this thing called homework, but probably not, as I was planning a late night anyway.

 

OK. Whew. Finished just in time. Byebyebyebyebyebye.