Promo-Carnage and the Baldwins

[Guest carnage]

“Pussies” Alex Baldwin said as he took a sip from his beer.

 

“I know” agreed Brother Stephen as the four Baldwins’ were the only patrons left At Lou’s Bar across the Street from the Pond.

 

“I mean they call our agent and book us to come all the way down here for a match and then they chicken out!” Alex exclaims as he takes another drink from his beer. “What can I say? Just pussies!”

 

The four members of the acting clan all get a laugh as highlights of the Sox-Yankees game plays on the TV screen over head. Billy Baldwin stuffs a few napkins in his mouth to give the illusion of a fat face and does his best imitation of rKade.

 

“I’m afraid!” he blurts as the others laugh aloud.

 

“They should change the name from the SWF to the NSF—No show federation!”

mocks Daniel Baldwin as in the back ground a door can be heard opening.

 

As the Baldwins continue their festivities they are unaware that someone has entered the bar. The laughing comes to an end as footsteps are heard.

 

“Hey!” exclaims Alex as he takes notice of the visitor. “I know you…you’re the dickhead with the mask!”

 

Standing at the doorway to the bar, illuminated only bar the headlights of passing cars, stands the New SWF Hardcore gamers champion…Carnage.

 

“This is the asshole who was making fun of your movie!” Billy says to Stephen who is polishing off his beer.

 

“Yeah, well Yaba-daba-doo to you shitface!” Stephen replies with a sneer.

 

Alex rests his beer of the bar as he gets from his stool.

 

“These guys are starting to piss me off. I say we give him a lesson---Baldwin style!"

 

Alex walks over the Carnage along with the rest of the Baldwins. He immediately gets in the face of the SWF resident psycho and pokes him several times with his extended index finger.

 

“You go back to your locker-room and tell the other wrestlers that the Baldwins think you’re a bunch of pussies!"

 

In a rare occasion what might be considered a smile appears behind the mask.

Carnage promptly grabs Alex’s index finger and snaps it back. The bone is immediately broken as the senior member of the Baldwin clan howls in pain. Carnage clocks him with a stiff right hand that sends Alex crashing to the floor of the bar. Daniel and Billy Baldwin attempt a double team on the party crasher but are met with a brutal double clothesline. Both thespians are sent crashing to the hardwood floor to join their unconscious brother Alex.

Stephen Baldwin is frozen in fear as the SWF resident psycho calmly approaches him.

 

“Hey man, relax!” Stephen says as Carnage seems ready to erupt.

As visions of “Bio-dome” and “Viva Las Bedrock” torture the masked maniac as grabs Stephen Baldwin and hoists him in the air.

 

TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER

 

Stephen Baldwin goes crashing to the floor of Lou’s Bar.

 

As the four members of the Baldwin clan lie motionless in the bar Carnage quietly strolls towards the exit. He stops for a moment at the doorway and glances back at the fallen Stephen Baldwin. It appears for a brief moment that Carnage may actually speak. After a moments deliberation he extends his right hand and opts for sign language as he flips off the thoroughly destroyed Baldwins, then leaves the bar.

[Guest Suicide King]

I can only support squash promos against Baldwins.