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cmpunk04

Someone at the Torch must not like TNA

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Credit: PWTorch

This Sunday is a milestone in the two-plus year existence of NWA Total Nonstop Action. Jerry Jarrett's vision and his son, Jeff's, direction have led NWA TNA down and to Victory Road (pun fully intended, hence the capitalization, so if you didn't catch it, I don't know what to tell you). Victory Road is supposed to be a watershed event for the fledgling-yet-number-two company. So why do I get the feeling it won't be all that good? And why does the last few months - if not longer - of shenanigans in the TNA locker room seem like it would make for a more entertaining show?

 

The main event for the PPV is Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy. It's not that they haven't pushed the match hard, but it's that they haven't developed it whatsoever. It has been written a hundred times that this match is no more than Nickname vs. Nickname, Finisher vs. Finisher. Beyond this, I don't know why Hardy is motivated to win the NWA World Hvt. Title, nor what squashing a dozen cruiserweights in the opening match on Impact has done to bolster Jarrett's standing. Jarrett vs. Hardy wasn't all that good the last time, and in my opinion, putting a ladder in the mix isn't going to make things any better. Just because Hardy was once the king of the ladder match doesn't mean his broken-down-at-28-years body will perform better with the aluminum apparatus at his disposal; by the looks of him, it's not like the once-great Scott Hall could have a Stepstool Match on Sunday. I don't even think this will be a "car crash" (so bad you have to look); it's going to be lackluster and below the expectations that don't even exist.

 

However, for expectation slippage that would be worth my 30 dollars, I would much rather watch an unmotivated Jeff Hardy come sauntering into the backstage area in Orlando every other week, a day late and maybe even a little "under the weather." Then to see Jarrett, Dutch Mantel, and the rest of the brass kiss a little Charismatic Enigma BUTT since they've gone this far with his push would be entertaining as heck. How do you make someone feel welcome that probably doesn't give a damn that he's there in the first place? That's a strategy I'd like to see play out.

 

Speaking of those "in no condition to perform," why not slap Lex Luger on the TV for ten minutes and see what happens? Let him sit in on commentary during the Monty Brown vs. Raven vs. Abyss match and have him watch three men who have divided the Total Package - Brown's physique, Raven's mouth and mind, and Abyss' big-man athleticism - and weep. Reality TV at its finest. Or there was Scott Hall who, a couple weeks ago, reportedly got in the ring where Jeff Jarrett was giving an impassioned speech to his roster and mocked him to his back. Jarrett will probably cut a promo at the pay-per-view, and he hasn't said anything interesting or memorable since his "J-E-double-F-ha-ha" vignettes were scripted for him. Spice things up with a dash of Scott Hall in the background, making his scaredy fingers and airplane wings. There's nothing embarrassing about being a 43-year-old high school sophomore!

 

There aren't many negative things I can say about the X-Division wrestlers in NWA TNA, but there's plenty I can say about the booking of that division. At Victory Road, 20 men will wrestle in an X-Division gauntlet match. They've tried this before, and these weren't good, either. Trying to fit 20 men with arsenals as long as ten shopping lists into a 15-minute slot, not to mention the rapid-fire and thus unbelievable eliminations, doesn't do these men justice. Plus, most of them don't have well developed characters, which would draw in the fans emotionally. Perhaps putting one of Kid Kash's ranting and raving sessions on live PPV would do the trick for him. Most people don't know he's an old man now but still calls himself "Kid;" most people don't know that he's been busting his ass up and down the east coast, bitching out promoter after promoter for higher pay with threats of jumping ship. But most people would know how big of a prick Kid Kash is if they saw him chew out the ultra-talented AJ Styles for being a promoter's pet, or how big of a prima donna he is with every time he threatened to leave TNA for a WWE that wouldn't take him, anyway. Kid Kash probably has more promo time under his belt than any X-Division wrestler... and the worst part? We haven't seen the most entertaining 90 percent of it.

 

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the political campaigns of Dusty "I AppOOOved Dis' Methage" Rhodes and Vince "My Desk Will Be Empty Monday" Russo. These men are vying for your vote to be the TNA Director of Authority. I don't feel Russo has added anything to TNA in his role as (that was?) DOA, and I don't think Rhodes could make it any better. I don't take a fat hick with filthy jeans and a lisp seriously as a human being let alone someone in authority. Buuuut, because Russo is leaving TNA after the PPV, plus he has a book in the (re-)works and is quite opinionated if I do say so, and because Rhodes is one of the most egomaniacal 60-year-old wash-ups in wrestling history, something tells me their interactions backstage would be something to see; not even just with each other, but with everybody. If a cameraman followed Dusty Rhodes around the locker room for just two weeks, we'd have a Goldmine Video on our hands (pun fully intended, hence the capitalization, so if you didn't catch it, I don't know what to tell you).

 

If anyone bothers to order Victory Road this Sunday, let me know if it is really more entertaining than what I have proposed here.

 

 

The stuff he wrote about Dusty made me laugh.

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I don't know If It's so much that they don't like TNA, I just think they don't like Vince Russo ever since Russo accused The Torch of being on The WWE's Payroll 4 years ago.

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So, let me get this straight. Just because Victory Road's build is horrible and most of its matches are second rate, it's going to fail?

 

Shocking... just shocking.

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