Oh Velo-city Night, The Stars Were All Elsewhere

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Yes it is.

[Guest LooneyTune]

Coming up next, A Very Christmas Velocity Special with guest appearences by Anna Nicole Smith, Fuckmaster Flex, that guy in the taco commercial, Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, Kelly Ripa, Fozzy Bear, and (not) much more!

 

Whats with the random capitalized letters in the title?

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

According to WWE.com's preview, the Jay Youngblood (birth name Steve Romero) is replacing DeMott tonight despite the notable handicap of being dead.

 

Actually it's some Kansas City guy they just hired, also named Steve Romero.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Let's see...what was the match list again?

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Josh Mathews and WWE's newest announcer, Steve Romero, will be calling the shots in an action-packed Velocity this week.

 

Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas will be in tag team action and Paul London will face off against Shannon Moore in singles competition.

 

Plus, a complete SmackDown! recap, including Dan Puder's victory in the $1,000,000 Tough Enough. Also, what's up with JBL and Kurt Angle?

 

And if you missed the John Cena-Jesus Street Fight at Armageddon, we'll replay the bloody match for you.

 

Don't miss Velocity this Saturday at 11/10 p.m. CT on Spike TV.

[Guest LooneyTune]

No Bill Demott and Josh Matthews?! NOOOOOOOOOOO! They are the best commentary team in WWE.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Ok, QUICK, what are the odds this guy sounds like Coach/Grisham/Lloyd/Leary/Cole ie: like a total fucking cracker?

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

OK, what are the odds the guy says

 

"Oh my goodness!" at least twice??

[Guest LooneyTune]

3:2 No way can WWE hire someone GOOD. No idea on the second question, maybe 2:1.

 

(gets earmuffs from the closet)

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

OPENING~! Which feels really really dated. And then the VELOCITY opening, which feels really, really ass.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

HOLLY JUST STIFFED THAT FAN WITH A HAND SLAP!!

 

DOUCHE!!!!!

[Guest LooneyTune]

Hardcore-aas vs. Whoever is coming up first. He looks like a tool...the Romero dude. He doesn't look annoying yet... but it won't last.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

You know...I still find it funny they have the nWo Crashing Truck still in the Velocity opening.

 

Haas & Holly. ...Hass - Jackie = Less Interest.

 

...Romero sounds like an ESPN guy.

[GreatWhiteNope 0]

I'm gracing you with my presence tonight because I'm bored.

 

This is the first time I've watched Velocity in like 2 years.

 

Steve Romaro looks like a normal guy.

 

That's a plus.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Ok, he is closer to a Chris Leary than Coach. And he's like a 0.3 Leary.

[Vyce 0]

Who is this new announce douche?

[Guest LooneyTune]

At least he doesn't look like a complete fucking dork like Todd Pettingill and Michael Coles love-child Todd Grisham.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Who the fuck is doing PBP here? They need roles.

[GreatWhiteNope 0]

Since when did Damien Demento start getting hair tips from Jericho?

[Guest LooneyTune]

I miss Bill Demott already... (stabs myself in the ear for that comment) The guy fighting Haas seems to be a little too happy.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

ZERO-ONE MENTION!

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Kinda weird to hear Josh give this jobber (Celantro or what have you) a backstory about being a protoge of HBK who wrestled for Zero One.

[GreatWhiteNope 0]

New guy said "solar plexus" - they taught him the circa-1994 WWF announcing fundamentals.

[Vyce 0]

Romero is a fast learner - he's already picked up on that classic WWE announce technique of talking about anything except the match going on in the ring.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Since when did Damien Demento start getting hair tips from Jericho?

My thoughts exactly

[Guest LooneyTune]

Hardcore Holly needs to stiff someone...except the guy in the black trunks, since if he keeps hitting him he's gonna get poked in the eye when he's on his knees.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Wow, this guy couldn't be reading from a sheet of notes. No. Not at all.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

HOLLY IS EATING!!!

[Guest LooneyTune]

OK, I already hate this guy. It only took 4:39.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

I wonder...could Holly ever grow his hair back out to Spark Plugg levels?