SWF TUESDAY NIGHT SLAY RIDE 2004!

[Chuck Woolery 0]

“Toxx, listen to me - don’t underestimate him.”

 

It is a woman’s voice, and the tone is that of an argument that has been going for some time now. The rest of Revolution Zero look up as the sound approaches, then the door to the dressing room opens and Toxxic steps inside, closely pursued by Jet.

 

“I’m telling you, I’m not underestimating him,” the World Champion fires back, dumping his black holdall on the bench. “Trust me, I’ve got it covered!”

 

“You’re not underestimating him?” Jet echoes, placing her hands on her hips. “So what was all that ‘you’re a lucky, scrawny little bugger’ crap on Lockdown then?” She tosses her hair back, red and black dreadlocks flying all ways, and seems to think she’s scored a point, but Toxxic just sighs.

 

“That was psychological warfare,” he informs his girlfriend, shrugging his jacket off and dumping it on top of his holdall. “Look, Landon has impressed me, OK? He won a battle royal but hey, anyone can do that. He beat Chris Fury, but given the circumstances of that I think we can claim an assist,” the straight-edger says, grinning at Sean and Spike. “He beat Spike in a ladder match, but you can win ladder matches without being that good a wrestler. When he took Sacred out in two-out-of-three falls though…” Toxxic continues, turning his attention to Andrew Blackwell, “…well, that made me take notice. But come on, did you think I’m gonna go out there, waltz up to Landon and go ‘hey Landon, you’ve convinced me you’re the best wrestler around, I’m going to be trying really hard at the PPV?’” Toxxic snorts. “Please. No; I wind him up, he gets all angry when he thinks I’m not taking him seriously and then he underestimates me.”

 

“He will have you scouted,” Sacred chips in from the sidelines. “He prepares well.”

 

“Of course he’ll have me scouted,” Toxxic says, turning to the Australian, “I’m not that difficult to scout!” The Straight-Edge Sensation raises his fingers and counts off three points on them. “I hit people in the head. I drop them on their head. I drop me on their head. And I do those three things until I win.” The familiar lopsided grin spreads over his face. “It’s an approach that has stood up to ring technicians like Tom Flesher and Danny Williams. I don’t think it’ll fall apart against Maddix.” He looks around at the sombre, doubting faces, and finally throws his hands up in despair.

 

“OK, OK,” Toxxic concedes in the face of his stable’s overwhelming doubt, “I do have a backup plan, and I promise you it will be the last thing Landon will be expecting. Happy?”

 

“Dude, he’ll be expecting the Dangerlust,” Spike warns, “and the Demonstar.” Toxxic just looks at him for a second, and when he speaks it is in a forced, level tone of voice.

 

“Believe it or not Spike, it is possible for me to have a plan that does not involve breaking someone’s neck,” Toxxic tells him. “Although I won’t deny that the idea has a certain appeal.” The Brit looks around the room again. “Jesus Christ, will you look at you all?” he says, sitting down on the bench. “You used to have faith in me! You used to look to me to lead you! I’d be going into Pay-Per-Views with your full support and belief behind me, and I’d kick almighty amounts of arse! Now I’m going in as defending champion when the odds are in my favour, and you all look like you’ve been forced to watch the Queen’s Speech!”

 

There are a few moments of silence, then Toxxic waves a hand irritably. “British Christmas thing. Forget it.”

 

“Toxx, it’s not that we don’t have faith in you,” Sean Davis rumbles, “but it’s just… you’ve been so damn successful lately. You’re easily the most dominant World Champion this year, you’ve won the Tag Titles with me,” the Perfect Storm taps his Tag belt, sitting on his lap next to the Hardcore Gamers’ Championship that is also in his possession, “and it seems like nothing can stop you…”

 

“…but?” Toxxic asks. “Sean, I’m sensing a ‘but’ coming here.”

 

“…but that’s just it,” Davis says, slightly lamely. “Have you still got the drive you had? You were out to prove them all wrong - well you did, so now what?”

 

“What I think Sean is saying is,” Sacred cuts in, “you’re not becoming complacent… are you?”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying!” Sean rumbles, pointing a finger at Sacred. “You stop putting words in my mouth!”

 

“Complacent?” Toxxic says, eyeing the unrepentant Antipodean. “Complacent.” The Straight-Edge Sensation’s eyes flick around the room to each individual in turn, from Jet to Spike, from Sacred to Sean, and then on to Marcus Washington.

 

“I have busted my guts to get here. I have held the three top titles in this Federation,” Toxxic bites out. “I have risen faster than anyone before me, and I have stayed at the top. I am main-eventing the fourth Pay-Per-View in a row. There is one man in the history of this company who has any sort of win over me without me getting one back, and that is that man I will beat tonight, Landon Maddix; the only reason he has that win is that he was fortunate enough to team with Flesher when they faced me and Drazon.” Toxxic holds the World Title up for everyone to see; it doesn’t escape Jet’s notice how interested Spike and Sacred appear.

 

“I beat Flesher and Janus for this. I beat Johnny Dangerous at the biggest freaking show of all time. I faced and defeated Annie Eclectic in a fucking street fight. And in the middle of all this, I found time to team up with you” he points at Sean Davis “and knock over the Tag Champs. Now tell me - where’s the fucking complacency in that?”

 

“Toxx, cool it,” the big man says placatingly, “I never said-”

 

“You want complacency, you look at yourselves,” Toxxic says, standing up. “Sacred, you and I both know you could have had Maddix, but you messed up at the end.”

 

“You know, given all the work I’d done on that right leg I don’t know how he managed to superkick me with it,” Sacred mutters, but Toxxic has moved on.

 

“Spike, you can’t keep relying on big moves,” the World Champion tells the Cruiserweight Champion. “If Kaine has your big neck-crushing moves scouted tonight, you’re in trouble.”

 

“We’ll see,” is all Spike says, stroking his title.

 

“Sean, you’re blowing hot and cold,” Toxxic tells his tag partner. “When you’re on you’re the most devastating force in that ring since Janus… when you’re off, I’d rather team with Danny Dagda, because at least I know he’s going to be crap. Just find yourself a level and you can be a big, BIG-time player here.”

 

Sean Davis just looks up at Toxxic, one hand on each of his titles, expression giving away nothing.

 

“So what about me?” Jet asks, tapping her boyfriend playfully on the shoulder, “have I been complacent lately?”

 

“Ask me after the Christmas Star match,” Toxxic says… then winks to let her know he’s joking. He turns back to the rest of them as he walks to the dressing room door.

 

“Guys, I’m serious. We are good - the amount of gold in this room says that - but we could still be better. I’m not the only man in this room capable of beating Landon Maddix. We should be able to take his ICTV Title, and we should be able to take Todd Cortez’ USJL belt. We can own this fed, and I’m not going to let Landon, Cortez and that Ghost twat with their shitty ‘Resistance’ get in the way.”

 

Toxxic opens the door, then turns back and holds up thumb and forefinger pressed together with a wry, lopsided grin on his face.

 

“Focus, guys. Focus.”

 

With that the World Champion closes the door behind him. The rest of Revolution Zero look at each other for a few moments.

 

“Well, I don’t know,” Sacred says sardonically to no-one in particular, “would you say he’s motivated enough?”

[Chuck Woolery 0]

“WELCOME EVERYONE TO SWF TUESDAY NIGHT SLAY RIDE!” screams Comet, “We have an amazing show for you tonight…but let us focus on our first match of the night! The SWF Cruiserweight Championship will be on the line as Revolution Zero’s Spike Jenkins defends against the number one contender, Kaine!”

 

“It is totally unfair for Spike to defend the title after that brutal ladder match against Landon Maddix on Lockdown! But it is genius of Kaine to take the title shot when his opponent is at his weakest.”

 

“A little back history here, folks. Kaine won the number one contendership by defeating, Austin Sly, back November 17th on Lockdown. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins gave him his title shot and tried to break Kaine’s neck with the I Just Broke Your Neck! Kaine was out of action, but returned last week…only to get a piledriver on the cement by Jenkins. Spike is willing to do anything to hold onto that title for as long as he can! Will he be able to retain tonight?”

 

“I think so, Comet,” says Bobby, “Spike has so much more experience than the up-and-coming rookie, Kaine!”

 

“Kaine, only at the age of 20 has a few years experience wrestling in Germany under his belt. But 22-year-old Spike Jenkins has been around the SWF for so long. Both men are nearly identical in style and even on some occasions, Kaine has been called the next Spike Jenkins! It really will become a Veteran vs. Rookie match tonight!”

 

The fans sit on their asses but applaud as Funyon enters the ring. With a microphone in one hand and a index card in the other, he begins to start his job for the night.

 

“Ladies and Gentleman, the opening contest is schedule for one fall and is for the SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!” Funyon breaths to let the applause quiet down, “First, making his way to the ring…The Challenger!”

 

Just then the soft, melodic opening to “Feuer Frei” by Rammstein starts up. After about 10 seconds the song begins to start up and from the back appears the youngster Kaine. Quickly, he glances out around the arena, pointing to several dozen fans in the arena that hold his old “BEWARE OF FALLING OBJECTS” shirt up high in the air.

 

“Making his way to the ring. Hailing from Kassel, Germany! Weighing in at a total of One Hundred and Ninety-One pounds…accompanied by Samuel Dobbson…he is “The Untouchable” KAINE!!!!!!!!

 

As the youngster continues down the aisle to the ring, he reaches over to slap hands with several fans at ringside, but at the last second he pulls his hand back causing the fans to hit nothing but air, causing the youngster to start laughing at them for trying, receiving several middle fingers from the fans for his antics. Quickly Kaine slides into the ring and begins to prance confidently around the ring like he’s already won the match.

 

“Coming to the ring at this time…THE CHAMPION!”

 

Kaine waits in the ring, waiting for the champion…

 

When every light in the arena goes to full power as the Smarktron whites out. For a moment the only sound is that of a needle scratching over vinyl...

 

 

And then *BAM*

 

The crashing guitars of Lamb of God’s “Black Label” send a bolt through the crowd.

 

“AND HIS OPPONENT!” shouts Funyon through the cheering of the crowd.

 

The drumming sends a jolt throughout the arena, as the pace of the intro begins to pick up. Finally…

 

 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

 

The high-pitched scream of Randy Blythe breaks through the speakers as the bright white lights begin flashing at the entranceway. As the scream hits the crowd, the SWF Cruiserweight Champion and Revolution Zero member makes his way out, walking underneath the giant menorah. The Minnesota crowd goes ape shit as they tear Spike apart. Behind the champion stands the Revolution’s valet, Jet. Instead of his usual jacket/vest, Spike had a black “Only the Foolish Die Young” sweater on, a black hood covering most of his face. The SWF Cruiserweight Title is strapped firmly around his waist, as he stops at the top of the entranceway. Spike looks through the crowd and then towards his left. Spike shakes his head, a few strands of his long, dyed blonde hair come into view over his face. Spike drops down to one knee, leaving one arm to hang to the ground, while the other is firmly placed on his knee. After a few moments, Spike raises both arms into an “X”, symbolizing his Straight Edge life style. Many of the Manchester fans hold pro-Revolution Zero and Straight Edge signs in the crowd; a few of them even making an “X” with their arms. Spike rises to his feet and begins to make his way down the isle towards the ring.

 

“Weighing in at a total of Two Hundred and Twenty Five Pounds. He hails from Hollywood, California. He is being accompanied to the ring by Jet; and is a member of REVOLUTION ZERO!!” Funyon stops to let the crowd cheer on their favorite stable. “He is the current reigning and defending SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!! HE IS ‘HOLLYWOOD’ SPIKE JENKINS!!!!”

 

The fans continue as Spike walks around the ring. He makes his way completely around the ring and rolls underneath the bottom rope. He continues rolling until he hits dead center in the middle of the ring. Spike rises to one knee and resumes the position he was in at the top of the entranceway. One arm hanging to the ground, the other placed on his knee. Spike just stands there, just allowing the crowd to get louder and louder.

 

“SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS!”

 

Finally, Spike rises to his feet. He quickly peels off the hood, releasing his blonde, dyed hair free. He puts his arms together, forming an “X” across his chest, again promoting his Straight Edge life style. Spike walks into his corner, unstrapping the SWF Cruiserweight Title from his waist. Referee Brendan Fitzgerald takes the title from Jenkins. He carries it across the ring towards the challenger, showing it to Kaine. Austin nods at Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald holds the title belt in the air. He hands the belt to a ring crewmember and signals for the bell. Spike pulls the hoodie over his head and tosses it to ringside as this match is underway.

 

“You know…that referee looks familiar…”

 

“Shhh…quiet, Robert.”

 

“But he looks like…someone I know…”

 

“…And the match begins!”

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

Both men lunge out of the corner and begin circling around the ring. They both enter the center of the ring and meet with a collar-elbow tie up. They both struggle, using their weight to try to gain an advantage. Spike is able to make the first move and gets the go behind on Kaine. Spike wraps his arms firmly around the waist of Kaine. Kaine struggles to break free, but Spike keeps the hold intact.

 

“What a great title match this will be, Robert.” Says Comet. “Both men are the top cruiserweights this world has to offer.”

 

“Well…Spike is.”

 

Kaine drops down, trying to wiggle free. Spike drops to his knees, following the challenger down. Doing this helps Kaine break free from the waist lock. Kaine holds onto Spike’s arm and springs himself around. He releases Spike’s arm and locks on his own waist lock, pulling Spike down into a sitting position. Spike breaks free from the hold and turns his body around to face Kaine. Spike grabs Kaine’s head and pulls him into a front face lock, both men standing on their knees. Kaine realizes he is stuck, rises to his feet, bringing Jenkins up with him. Spike drops down to his knees, wrenching the neck of Kaine and bringing him back down to his knees. But the challenger quickly gets back to a standing position, bringing the Revolution Zero member up with him. Kaine digs his claws in between the hands of Jenkins and breaks open the front face lock. This gives Kaine enough time to drop to his knees, grab Spike’s leg and use a single leg takedown to bring Jenkins down to the mat, face first. Jenkins immediately tries to get to his feet, but is stopped by a waist lock from Kaine. Spike continues to struggle, but Kaine stops that as he breaks away from the waist lock and quickly locks his arms underneath Spikes and around his neck with a full nelson.

 

“Kaine has a very good chance of winning the SWF Cruiserweight Championship for a second time tonight.”

 

“I doubt that will happen, Comet.”

 

Spike continues the struggle to his feet. He gets to his knees, but Kaine breaks the full nelson. He keeps a half nelson locked in and tries for a waist lock with one arm, but Spike is able swing himself out of it. Spike gets to his feet, just as Kaine does. Spike goes to pull Kaine into a front face lock, but Kaine slaps him away and both men back away into opposite corners.

 

“Both men are highly trained and dangerous in the art of mat wrestling. As you just witnessed, both men started this match at full force and neither could gain an advantage.”

 

“Give Spike some time, Comet. I have all the faith in the world in him.”

 

The crowd continues their chants, which only seem to get louder and louder.

 

“SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS!”

 

Both men finish their breather and walk out of their corner. They circle around and meet up back in the center of the ring. Kaine goes for a lock up, but Spike goes low and brings Kaine down with a single leg takedown. Kaine wraps his legs around Spike’s waist. Jenkins tries to throw some forearm shots into the takedown, but Kaine is able to block them by holding Spike’s arms back.

 

“Spike is going for the Jiu-Jitsu style ground and pound, but Kaine is holding him back.” Notes Comet.

 

Spike realizes he won’t be able to get his strikes in, so he pulls his arms away from Kaine. Spike forces Kaine’s left leg to untangle around the champions waist. Spike turns Kaine over onto his stomach. Spike wraps his arms and locks them around the waist of Kaine. Kaine rolls over, crushing Spike underneath him. But Spike just pulls Kaine back onto the mat. Spike keeps the waist lock applied as he hovers over Kaine who is now sitting on his knees in a near-curled up position.

 

“Spike is not the only Revolution Zero member in action tonight. In the main event, the SWF World Champion Toxxic will defend his title against Landon Maddix, the winner of the Cold Front Classic!” Bobby pimps. “I predict Toxxic continues his reign as champion and destroys Landon and his hopes of ever becoming SWF Champion!”

 

Kaine fights up to his knees, at which point Spike breaks the waist lock. He quickly spins to the front of Kaine and wraps his arms around the neck of the challenger in a front face lock. Both men stand on their knees as Jenkins wrenches the neck. Kaine pushes himself up to his feet, while Jenkins keeps the hold applied on his knees. Using the height advantage, Kaine breaks Jenkins’ hold and gets a go behind and a waist lock. Spike fights to a sitting position, as Kaine tries to keep his waist lock applied. Spike tries to break out of the hold, but instead uses his speed instead. Spike rolls to the side, rolling over on his neck and forcing Sly into an awkward position on top of his head. Spike breaks the waist lock open and grabs the wrist of Kaine’s right arm. Spike fights to apply a key lock, but Kaine pulls his arm away. Pulling his arm away leaves him open for a front face lock once again by the Cruiserweight Champion. Kaine immediately breaks away and both men jump to their feet, connecting with an INDY STAND OFF~!

 

“Indy stand off!” cries Comet. “Both men went at each other with all they have. Both men are extremely talented in mat wrestling, but neither could get an advantage.”

 

“LETS GO KAINE~! LETS GO KAINE~! LETS GO KAINE~!”

 

Both men back into the opposite ropes, just staring at one another. They both calmly walk into the center of the ring, meeting in a face off. The slightly taller Spike looks down at the cocky, arrogant, and lately, pissed off Kaine. Both men trash talk each other’s skills, knowing full well that knocking the other off their game plan can give them the advantage. Kaine finally hits one of the champion’s buttons and Spike responds with a shove! Kaine retaliates with a shove!

 

“We have a shoving contest going on!” shouts Comet.

 

Spike looks at Kaine with a cocky grin on his face. Without warning, Spike charges in towards Kaine, but Kaine leap frogs over him. Spike turns back towards Kaine, who charges into the ropes.

 

“Spike rushes in, but Kaine leapfrogs over.”

 

Kaine bounces off the ropes and comes charging back towards Jenkins. Jenkins leaps into the air leap frogging over the challenger. Kaine continues his way across the ring into the ropes.

 

“Leapfrog by Jenkins!”

 

Kaine hits the ropes and again comes running back towards Jenkins. Spike drops to the mat, causing Kaine to leap over him and continue across the ring.

 

“Kaine, up and over!”

 

Kaine hits the ropes, just as Spike gets to his feet. Spike sees Kaine coming towards him and leaps into the air with a dropkick…only to find nothing as Kaine holds onto the ropes!

 

“No, Kaine holds on to the ropes!”

 

Spike hits the mat and bounces back onto his hands and knees. He holds his rib cage, feeling the impact of his body crashing into the mat. Kaine charges out of the ropes, jumping on top of Jenkins and rolling him with a cradle!

 

“Oklahoma Roll by Kaine!” shouts Comet, who finally finishes his long line of calling the action.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TW---NO! Spike rolls out of the Oklahoma roll into a side headlock!

 

“Kaine surprised Spike Jenkins with that Oklahoma Roll! If it wasn’t so early on in the match, we might have a new Cruiserweight champion!”

 

Spike wrenches on the headlock, trying to pull away at the neck. Kaine begins to struggle to his feet, but Spike follows him up with the headlock firmly applied. Spike breaks the side headlock, locking on to Kaine’s arm and getting the go behind with a hammerlock! Both men get to a full stance. Kaine succeeds in pulling away from the hammerlock, but Spike is able to wrap his arms around the neck for another side headlock.

 

“Side headlock applied by the Cruiserweight Champion!”

 

Spike wrenches on the neck, forcing Kaine to grab the champion’s arms and try to loosen them. Spike catches Kaine trying to break the hold and wrenches down on the neck. Kaine drops to one knee from the pain, but quickly gets back to a full stance. Thinking of another way out, Kaine drives his elbow into the side of Jenkins.

 

“Spike is refusing to let go of the hold! That’s how good of a mat technician this guy is! His training under Toxxic has done worlds for him!” Riley spouts out.

 

Spike continues his side headlock. He wrenches back on the neck. Kaine tries to drag Jenkins across the ring. Kaine attempts an Irish whip out of the side headlock, but Spike refuses to let it go. Spike wrenches down again, forcing Kaine and himself down to one knee. Kaine gets up to a full stance, but Spike stays low on one knee with the side headlock applied. Kaine elbows Spike in the back. Spike cringes in pain, allowing Kaine to drag him to his feet and back into the ropes. Kaine forces Spike into the ropes and Irish whips him off. Still feeling the effects of the elbow, Spike abruptly breaks the side headlock. But Jenkins is still able to land on his feet, right next to Kaine…who locks Spike in his own side headlock!

 

“Kaine was not only able to break free from Spike’s side headlock; but he was able to lock on his own side headlock!”

 

Spike promptly hauls Kaine back into the ropes. He thrusts Kaine against the ropes and attempts an Irish whip, but Kaine holds on to the hold! Kaine drags Spike into the center of the ring and wrenches back on the neck. Spike drops to his knees, attempting to break the hold. The challenger pulls down on the champions’ neck. Spike climbs up to his feet, pushing Kaine back but to no prevail. Jenkins reaches back, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling it back. Kaine yelps in pain, as his head gets pulled back, leaving his chest open for an open palm slap by the Revolution Zero member. Referee Brendan Fitzgerald yells at Spike not to pull hair, but the champion simply ignores it. With Kaine dazed from the shot to the ribs, Spike attempts another Irish whip…that is blocked! Kaine continues his lock on the Cruiserweight champion!

 

“Both men working a very slow, methodical pace. Kaine is keeping the advantage over the champion with a side headlock. He is just refusing to let go!”

 

“What the hell happened? Just moments ago, Spike had the advantage!”

 

“Professional Wrestling is like Chess, Bobbo. Each moves counts and will affect the outcome of the game. Kaine is just playing his pieces right now.”

 

“Yeah…you totally lost me on that…”

 

Still trapped inside the side headlock, Spike shoves his captor back into the ropes. With Kaine against the ropes, Jenkins pushes him forward with an Irish whip…but Kaine holds on to the headlock! Spike decides to go with Plan C and to power his way out. Jenkins wraps his arms around the waist of Kaine and lifts him up into the air for a belly-to-back suplex!

 

 

…But Kaine sees it coming and turns in mid-air, looking for a hurricanrana…

 

 

 

…WHICH SPIKE CATCHES AND HOLDS ONTO KAINE! SPIKE HOLDS SLY UPSIDE DOWN, TRYING TO SLIDE HIS LEGS OVER THE OPEN ARMS OF KAINE FOR THE RATINGS CRASH!

 

“RATINGS CRASH! RATINGS CRASH! IF HE HITS THIS, ITS ALL OVER!” screams Robert.

 

The fans in the Xcel Center begin to buzz as Spike is on the verge of hitting Kaine with his finisher…

 

 

 

…Spike tries to hold Kaine up while locking his legs over the challengers’ arms, but Kaine refuses to give up. Kaine pulls his weight and swings his arms wildly…

 

 

 

…But Spike wraps his legs over the flailing arms of Kaine …

 

 

 

 

 

…AND DROPS DOWN, DRIVING Kaine FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH A RATINGS CRASH!!!

 

 

“Ratings Crash! Spike hit the Ratings Crash! It has to be over!”

 

 

The crowd boos as Spike rolls over into a sitting position, holding Kaine down in a sunset flip position.

 

 

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

“And Spike Jenkins retains the SWF Cruiserweight Title after a Ratings Crash!”

 

Spike pushes Kaine off of him and quickly rolls out of the ring. “Black Label” starts up as the Minnesota crowd is on there feet, applauding the Revolution Zero member. Jet grabs the Cruiserweight title and runs around the ring towards Spike. She hands the title to him, who holds it up in the air after a long, hard battle for it.

 

“What an amazing match!” says Comet.

 

“I told you, Comet. Spike would retain. The Revolution is One-and-Zero for tonight! Just like at Genesis V and at Ashes 2 Ashes, they are going for the full sweep!”

 

“That may be so, Riley. That may be so!”

 

Spike and Jet walk back towards the locker room, celebrating the victory as SWF Tuesday Night Slay Ride fades into the next segment.

 

 

 

[FADE]

[Chuck Woolery 0]

The St. Paul crowd murmurs with anticipation as the ring crew begins to set up for the next contest, while Bobby Riley and Cyclone Comet watch in awe from their table, neither of them really quite sure what to make of the mutation in front of them.

 

“Just imagine the blood that is going to be flowing in just a few minutes in that ring.”

 

“Citizens, this is one of those times where, even though it is the holidays, we ask that any children watching the show tonight be put to bed as soon as possible. I can safely say that this one is not going to be for the weak at heart, or spirit.” Comet nearly shivers as the crew continues, four sets of men each working a side of the ring, all trying to replace the regular ropes with their seasonal substitutes, a few hundred feet of lights in every color of the rainbow.

 

“I can safely say, Comet, that the EMTs sure better be in the festive mood in the back, because no matter what the outcome they are more than likely going to have two very decorated men on their hands.” The superheroic commentator can hear the concern in his partner’s voice.

 

“Robert, are you sure you want to watch this?”

 

“Of course I do! I can’t wait to see that masked idiot get torn to pieces by the man who should rightfully be in the Main Event tonight!! You know Sacred is definitely in a sour mood backstage right now!”

 

“My, how moods change. But Robert, can you imagine two members of Revolution Zero in our final match of the year?”

 

“I dream about it…” Riley trails off, and Comet turns his head toward the camera in front of them.

 

“As you can see, citizens, the crew is currently setting up for our next contest…called a “Christmas Light Death Match”, which apparently means throwing up lights where the ring ropes should be. All I know is that this is going to be quite the sight…”

 

“…and I for one am happy to bring it to all you viewers at home!” Riley butts in, causing a stern look from his partner.

 

“As I was saying, please, if need be put your children to bed. This is going to be one for the DVD shelves…” Comet remarks quickly as the children around Santa and the Hammer scurry away. Funyon stands on the outside of the ring, the announcer weary about trying to enter the lit up ring. As his voice rings out, the arena crowd calms…

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL as is a special CHRISTMAS LIGHTS DEATH MATCH!!” The crowd explodes at the thought, salivating over the possibilities as Funyon presses a small button to his side, causing the lights around the ring to light up as the screen begins to shake and stutter, and one very familiar voice is heard…

 

"There is nothing wrong with your television set.“

 

“Do not attempt to adjust the picture."

 

“We will control the horizontal.”

 

“We will control the vertical.”

 

“We are controlling transmission...."

 

 

 

 

The lights around the arena dim down to near darkness as the opening of Lycia’s “Tainted” echoes from one corner of the building to the other, giving way to the arrival of Andrew Blackwell, who appears from behind the curtain and steps into spotlight, his body highlighted and shadowed as though he is nothing more than an apparition, but with one small step toward the ring is figure comes fully into the lights, and the crowd is quick to greet him.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOO…”

 

“No love will be lost for any member of Revolution Zero here tonight, Robert.” Comet comments as a camera on the ramp zooms in on the Sacred One, his face twisted as visions of that championship move through his head. His agile frame moving slowly, almost calculated, as Funyon continues….

 

“Introducing first…hailing from Adelaide, Australia and weighing in at two hundred and sixteen pounds…representing Revolution Zero…

 

SAAAAAACREEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOO…”

 

Sacred, too, hesitates slightly as he reaches the ringside area, but only to shrug the long jacket from his shoulders before rolling under the bottom row of lights and into the ring, standing to his feet as referee Mathew Kivell takes his turn at entering the ring, joining Sacred as the music slowly begins to die down and the lights…

 

 

…stay down?

 

The SmarkTron kicks to life, showing black and white video of the dark scene from Lockdown, as Ghost tosses his mask into the camera and walks away. As the image goes to black, the same electronic voice can be heard, the echo haunting.

 

“I am not Mike Van Siclen…”

 

“I am not one half of Hollywood Boulevard…”

 

“I am not the Spectacle…”

 

“I am not a Ghost.”

 

…

 

“So, what can I be?”

 

The voice fades, and the SmarkTron once again comes alive, the black and white video quick, firing from shot to shot of an unknown figure in split second movements attacking, diving, destroying, and winning. The final shot of Ghost fades from the screen, his back turned to the camera.

 

“What now?!”

 

Finally, A spotlight catches the top of the ramp, showing Ghost standing there alone, his head down and his right hand in the air, holding the white mask as his hair shields his face, his left hand holding a microphone to his lips. The electric voice returns…

 

“There is only one thing I have to say…”

 

 

 

 

The voice changes, and Ghost’s true voice comes slow and deliberate….

 

“You have no idea what you are getting into…”

 

 

Ghost shows his face, and the crowd explodes…

 

 

“…Prepare to be rocked!”

 

The arena goes pitch black, and the crowd can be heard on their feet in the darkness, all chanting at once as Funyon makes his call…

 

“AAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

“I…I don’t believe this…”

 

“AAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

“And his opponent…he hails from Long Beach, California and weighs in at two hundred and thirty pounds…”

 

“AAAAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

“You better believe it, Robert!!”

 

“…ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN CLAAAAAAAAARK!!”

 

 

BOOOOOOM!

 

Pyrotechnics explode and the arena is cast back into it’s normal radiance, only to find Sacred pinned down by Alan Clark, who is throwing punches as hard as he can to the face of the surprised superstar!

 

“Clark attacks!!”

 

Ding Ding Ding!

 

Kivell calls for the bell and moves down next to the sudden action, keeping an eye on the two men as Alan’s face fills with rage and he continues to throw punch after punch, the impact growing more and more violent.

 

”AAAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

“This is anarchy, Comet!! Alan Clark is viciously attacking Sacred!! We need help out here!” Riley yells as Sacred begins to try and block the punches, finally gaining some of his senses back after being attacked in the dark by the formerly masked man.

 

“Sacred is down and Alan Clark is wasting absolutely no time in gaining a little revenge for the weeks of suffering he has had at the hands of Revolution Zero! I don’t think anyone expected this, not even the World Champion!” Comet continues as Alan jumps to his feet and throws his hands up in victory to the screaming sold-out crowd, soaking in their affection. But the moment is short as Alan goes back to Sacred, pulling him to his feet and holding him by the hair, looking around the ring quickly before pointing toward the ropes of lights and shaking his head in agreement with the little modification to the ring.

 

“He’s gone insane! He’s going to seriously injure Sacred or Kivell! I hate crazy hippies! Anarchy!” Alan whips Sacred toward the lights, grunting hard as he lets him go, only to see his visions of broken bulbs…shattered…as Sacred hits his knees and then his back, sliding as gracefully as possible under the bottom row and to the outside, landing on his feet and missing the lights by mere centimeters.

 

“A close call from Sacred the—LOOK OUT!” Comet screams as Clark comes rushing from inside the ring, diving headfirst over the top rope and down onto Sacred, both men crashing to the floor with a hard thud.

 

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

 

“Did you see that! Citizen Clark has gone airborne early! He isn’t holding a thing back!”

 

The dive leaves the crowd chanting in stunned shock and the two men down, but it is easy to see that the Sacred One took the brunt of the dive, as his head lies against the bottom of the barricade, his eyes nearly glazed over.

 

“Sacred is seeing stars!”

 

Alan pulls himself up as Kivell watches on from in the ring, not really sure how he would even want to try to leave should a problem arise. Clark once again grabs Sacred by the hair and pulls him up, looking for another irish whip, this one into the steel steps!

 

 

 

CLANG!!

 

”Into the STEPS!” Both announcers moan as Sacred’s body strikes the steel stairs, his shoulder taking the brunt of the blow and sending the steps out of their position and knocking them to the ground. Alan does not even wait for the crowd’s approval as he begins to fight with the floor mats, grabbing a corner and pulling up hard…

 

“That psycho is trying to remove the padding! It’s concrete under there!!” Riley exclaims as Alan succeeds, the smooth concrete appearing as the mat is pulled up and tossed away. A few feet away, Sacred is back up to his feet, holding his neck with his right hand as he once again finds himself in the crosshairs of Clark, who comes in with a fury, sending a driving kick straight into Sacred’s sternum. With him doubled over, Alan drags him to the exposed floor and hooks on a front facelock.

 

“Suplex coming uuuu—BLOCKED!” Sacred brings his foot up between the legs of Clark, who drops him back down and uses his free arm to club his back before setting up again, but once more Sacred gets his leg in the way and pops up, freeing himself from Alan’s hands and immediately throwing his arm over Clark’s shoulder and propping him up…

 

“SPANISH INQUISITION!”

 

Riley’s yell echoes as Sacred tries to pull Clark off his feet, but this time he is blocked as Alan goes limp in his arms and slides toward the floor, pushing himself away from Sacred and trying to get to his feet.

 

 

 

SMACK!!

 

 

OOOOOOOO!!

 

“Alan Clark’s head just bounced hard off the mat, missing the concrete by inches!!” Comet screams as Sacred lunges forth with a flying forearm shot, catching Alan square in the jaw and putting him down onto the floor, his head hitting hard.

 

Sacred’s face shows a scowl forming, looking for revenge after the sneak attack. Sacred moves toward the recovering Clark as he tries to get to his feet, a few spots of blood showing through his hair. Alan cannot even get to his feet before Sacred is there, but before any more damage can be done Clark escapes, throwing his body toward the ring and under the bottom rope, trying to save himself from further punishment, but Sacred is too quick, grabbing Clark by the leg and dragging him back out to the floor!

 

Clark’s instincts kick in and he tries to grab at the bottom rope, forgetting that the lights are nowhere near as sturdy as what he is used to. The result causes the bottom row of lights to be yanked from their position, Clark holding them tightly and dragging them out of the ring and to the floor as he goes.

 

“He’s wrecking the ring now!” Riley yells as Sacred spins Clark around on the outside, clutching him around the waist and setting himself up for a perfect concrete landing.

 

“He’s aiming for the concrete! This could break Alan’s ne—WAIT!” Comet is once again cut off as Clark slips free, turning the hold around and hooking in his own waistlock, but Sacred breaks free, pushing himself away from Alan and stumbling out of reach. Clark wastes no time in going on the offensive, shooting forward with a burst of speed…

 

 

SMACK!!

 

“By Zeus!! Alan Clark might have just gotten his face dented by the boot of Sacred!” Comet calls as Clark collapses to the floor, a superkick catching him right under the chin, almost lifting him off his feet before putting him on his back. Sacred motions for Kivell to get to the outside before dropping down on top of Clark, looking for the first pinfall attempt of the match.

 

Kivell slides his way to the outside, careful not to damage the rest of the glimmering lights that adorn the ring, and hits his knees before slapping the concrete for the count…

 

One!

 

 

 

Tw—NO!!

 

 

“That moment of distraction saves Alan from an early exit to this match, as Sacred should have went for the pin no matter where Kivell was!”

 

“He should have been outside from the get-go, Comet! These kind of mistakes are what can cost people matches!” Riley complains as Sacred “reasons” with Kivell about his quickness as Clark tries to pull himself back up, using the apron and trying to get back into the ring. Once more, Sacred pulls him back – putting him on his feet and spinning him around before leveling him with another hard forearm shot. Clark hits the ground, but much to the surprise of everyone close enough to get a good view, Alan gets back up nearly immediately, holding his head and pushing his body up, doing whatever he can to get back into the match.

 

“That stupid hippy is getting up! He blindsides Sacred like an idiot, dives of the top rope like a moron, and now is trying to fight back with what little brains he has! And I don’t believe it…it’s that idiot…”

 

“…Smiling! Alan Clark is smiling right into the eyes of Sacred! We have seen what kind of punishment that man can take, and he looks prepared to make Sacred dish out every last bit of it before he goes down!”

 

Unimpressed, Sacred sends a quick hard kick into the back of Clark’s head, slowing him down but not putting him out, as Alan continues to try and stand up, fighting every instinct he has to get medical attention – but those instincts never stopped him before, suppressed by the toothy grin across his face.

 

“Sacred does not look too happy at the spirit Alan Clark is showing right now, though as of late he hasn’t looked happy about anything, especially since he could be in the Main Event tonight!”

 

”Yeah, just rub it in!”

 

As Clark finally reaches his feet, his entire body is pushed backwards with a hard knee to the chest, and before he can even get his wits together, Sacred lunges forward, pivoting quickly and sending his right leg burning into Alan’s chest, the force knocking him down to the exposed concrete once again.

 

“Citizen Sacred is just running a clinic on how to dismantle an injured opponent, as Alan Clark’s neck has been hurting him ever since that Dangerlust weeks ago.”

 

”Wait a second! Wait a SECOND! How do we even know it was him under that mask all those times! There were two of them!” Comet can be heard tapping his fingers on the desk for a moment as Clark rolls onto his stomach, doing what he can to keep away from any more pin attempts.

 

“We don’t, Robert, and no matter what, that second masked Ghost is still out there somewhere, and he could even be watching this match right now and we don’t even know it!” Sacred drags Clark by his ankles towards him, pulling him up to his feet as quickly as he can and throwing him into the ring, following close behind and ‘helping’ Alan to his feet before whipping him into the corner with vengeance, the hurting Clark’s body rattling off the turnbuckles and falling to the canvas – but he continues to get back up, the smile on his face growing by the second.

 

“Clark has never been one to quit! That hippy is going to get himself killed one of these days!” Riley comments as Clark gets to his knees and sees Sacred rushing toward him!

 

 

Whiff!!

 

As Sacred brings his knee up towards Alan’s face, Clark ducks and rolls to the side, leaving Sacred to try and correct himself, but the momentum is too great as he hits the corner hard, his body bouncing off and falling back as Alan swings around, clutching his legs around Sacred’s right foot, pulling him down to the canvas much to the delight of the sold out crowd!

 

“Modified drop toe hold, and that could buy Alan the time he needs to get—oh wait, wait!” Comet watches on as Sacred is back up to his feet in seconds, the drop doing more to hurt his temperament than his body. Alan is back up as well, his body leaning against the lighted cords as best as they can hold his two hundred pound frame up, as Sacred moves forward with a burst of speed, trying to knock Clark to the outside!

 

 

SMACK!

 

 

The hard forearm does it’s job, as Clark begins to tumble backwards, only to wrap his arms around Sacred as he goes, the result pulling both men over the cords and falling straight down to the floor, where they both land in a heap!

 

“I don’t think anyone was expecting that! Especially not Sacred!”

 

“That looked like quite the bad trip, Comet.” Riley winces as the replay shows both men nearly landing on their heads as they tumbled to the floor, but both escaped broken necks by mere inches, their upper backs taking the brunt of the fall before they collapsed.

 

“Kivell is watching and has no idea what to do!” Comet is partially right, as Kivell lays on the apron, looking down at the men and checking on them before rolling to the outside, only to have his hands pushed away, one by Clark – one by Sacred, as they roll in opposite directions and try to get back to their feet, but it is instantly obvious that the fall took more out of them than first appears.

 

“Sacred could be hurt! This is horrible!” Riley moans as the Revolution Zero’s cornerstone gets to his knees and clutches at his neck, moving it around and stretching it as much as he can, protecting it as he regains his footing.

 

“Neither of these men is used to working a match where the ropes, and I use that term loosely, have almost no give to them! Alan was barely laying on them, and I’m surprised they didn’t snap in half!” Comet remarks as Alan too is showing signs of hurt, his head bleeding and his white shirt beginning to tinge red around the neck a little as he too gets to his feet, the two men standing a few feet apart with Kivell in between them.

 

“This looks like a duel out of the old west, except I doubt there was ever anyone like Alan Clark out there!”

 

”Well he is one of a kind, Robert!”

 

“I didn’t mean it that wa—oh, nevermind! Pffft.” Riley snears and turns his head, nearly missing the action as both men make their moves, Alan rushing in and Sacred back-peddling, only to swerve to the side and spin a full turn, boring his right foot into Clark’s back as he passes, the hard kick sending Alan down and face first into the steel stairs…

 

CLANG!!

 

…the sound of flesh on steel once again echoes through the Xcel Center as Clark slumps down and rolls down the stairs to the ground, landing on his back. His eyes blink rapidly as he looks straight toward the ceiling, a small trickle of blood appearing in the middle of his forehead.

 

“Is that more blood?”

 

“It seems so Robert! Alan Clark has been opened up after being sent into those steel stairs courtesy of the Sacred One!” Comet tries to stay partisan as Kivell checks on Alan’s condition, holding two fingers in front of his face, but the attempt fails as Clark shoves the referee’s hand away and tries to get back to his feet, sitting up and hunting for Sacred…only to find his feet as they jam straight into Alan’s face.

 

“Oooooooo…” Riley and Comet wince at the announce table as a low-flying dropkick from Sacred brings more blood into the equation, but once again Alan sits up, trying to shake it off as he rubs his forehead, finding the blood and rubbing it off on his shirt.

 

“Eww! I hate when he does that!” Riley snaps as Sacred is back to his feet, pulling Clark up and rolling him back into the ring. Sacred follows, as does Kivell, with the Revolution Zero member taking his immediate attention away from Clark as he begins to pull at the light cords, ripping them from the turnbuckles, the entire top rope all the way around the ring coming off and hitting the canvas, still lit from an extension cord running under the ring.

 

“What is he going to do now?” Comet questions as Clark works to get back to his feet, only to find himself trapped in Sacred’s grasp once more as the veteran begins wrapping his newly acquired lights around Clark’s body.

 

“He’s hippy decorating!” Riley chuckles as Clark tries to fight back, only to get the cord wrapped around his throat and squeezed by the Sacred One, the line growing tighter and tighter as he tries to fight out.

 

“By Kringle’s Light! Sacred is choking Citizen Clark OUT!” Comet exclaims as Alan continues to fight, only for Sacred to squeeze more and more, pulling Clark to the floor and holding him down, the lights wrapped around his body and his throat as the blood is cut off from Alan’s brain.

 

“This could be it, Comet! Alan Clark is going to be executed by Christmas lights!”

 

“Ironic, huh?” Comet remarks back to Riley as Kivell gets down in front of Clark, checking him out and making sure he hasn’t already passed out. The crowd watches on in anticipation as Kivell raises Alan’s hand…

 

 

“AAAAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

 

 

…and it drops!!

 

 

”That’s one!” Riley cheers, and after a brief pause Kivell once again lifts Clark’s hand, with Sacred standing over him with his hands clenched tight on the lights, their brightness not a hair diminished as they continue to drain Clark of consciousness.

 

 

 

“AAAAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

 

 

 

 

…it drops for a second time!!

 

“One more and this match is over just as quickly as it began, with Clark in the dark!” Comet quickly remarks as Kivell signals the second drop and lifts Alan’s hand up once more, holding it and letting it go…

 

 

“AAAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

…it drops!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOO!!

 

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!”

 

The sold-out crowd explodes as Alan’s hand freezes only inches from the mat before making a sharp turn to the sky, going over his shoulder and CLOCKING Sacred with all the power he can muster. The punch gives Sacred a stagger, as he stumbles back and Clark is able to get his hands to his throat, pulling some of the lights away and getting air back into his lungs and blood to his brain. But Sacred isn’t out of it for long, and before Alan can barely get woken up, Sacred is right back on his neck, pulling at the cords and once again trying to choke out Clark…

 

 

 

SMACK!!

 

 

…but catches a boot to his forehead as Clark rolls onto his back and over, swinging his right foot up and connecting to the face of the Sacred One, catching him off guard and sending him falling backwards to the mat. Alan has no time to waste as he rolls to his stomach and yanks the lights from his neck, tossing them away and crawling toward the corner, using anything he can to get to his feet as Sacred stands behind him, the Revolution Zero member still bleeding slightly as he stares at the near helpless Alan Clark.

 

“He is just preying on Clark now. This cannot be good at all! Alan Clark is bleeding and is hurt bad!” Comet watches on as Alan begins to pull himself up with the turnbuckles, a string of lights still wrapped loosely around his body as he gets closer and closer to his feet.

 

“Clark needs to stay down if he knows what’s good for him!” Riley’s thoughts come on deaf ears, however, as Alan gets up, draping his body over the top turnbuckle as he tries harder and harder to get the air back into his sails…

 

 

 

 

OOOMPH!!

 

 

“AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!” Alan’s groan fills the air as Sacred connects with a giant splash in the corner, the crushing effect breaking bulbs into Alan’s chest and back. Clark stumbles out of the corner, holding his upper body in pain as Sacred drops to the canvas and wraps his right arm around Clark’s left thigh and pulls down with authority, slamming him into the canvas with a roll-up!!

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

Thr—NOOOO!!!

 

 

“Alan Clark kicks out just before the three and I don’t think Sacred can believe it!” Comet’s words ring out as Sacred gets to his feet, the camera catching the bleeding forehead now matched by a cut up chest from the splash. The veteran stares down at his opponent, watching as Clark lays on his back, more blood streaming down his face every moment, the white shirt slowly turning pink as the match goes on. Through it all, Clark continues to smile.

 

“You have to wonder if that sick, disgusting, disturbing smile isn’t just a natural reaction at this point! He cannot actually like what obvious pain he has to be in!” Riley remarks as Sacred drags Clark up off the mat by his hair and sends a stiff kick to his midsection, doubling him over and placing him in nearly perfect position…

 

 

 

“Uh oh…”

 

 

Comet’s voice comes out slowly as Sacred hooks his arm up and over Clark’s, holding him for a moment before lifting up his leg…

 

 

“CRUEL FATE!!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHING!

 

 

 

“NOOOO!!!”

 

Riley’s celebration is short-lived, as Clark uses his free arm as a pendulum, swinging it up and straight into the one place Sacred never wanted it to go. The male portion of the crowd shudders as Sacred’s grip is released and he falls forward, giving the bloody Clark an opportunity to rest as he tries to get to his feet.

 

“That is injustice right there, Comet!”

 

“Anything goes, Robert. As hard as it is for me to agree with it, anything goes!” Comet responds as Clark gets to his feet and grabs Sacred around the neck, pulling him into a facelock and raising his right hand high in the air. In one fluid motion, Alan hooks onto Sacred’s tights and pulls backwards, using all of his energy to drag him over and drive him into the canvas with a suplex!

 

“AAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

The crowd once again begins to chant as Clark keeps the hold on and swings his hips, rotating around and getting back to his knees…back into position…

 

“Alan Clark looks to be heading to the Multiplex tonight!”

 

…pulling himself and Sacred back up before lifting him into the air, holding his body upside down in the middle of the ring, as if he is trying to set a record for the lift.

 

“The blood just going straight to the head of Sacred! How is he even holding him up?!” Riley watches in bemusement as Clark begins to fall like a tree to the mat, driving Sacred down with him with another hard suplex!

 

“That’s number two!!” Comet exclaims as Clark once again keeps the hold applied and rolls to his knees, pulling himself and Sacred up once more. With the crowd cheering wildly, Clark begins to lift, but the pain shooting through his body is too much after the first two heavy lifts. Sacred begins to fall face-first to the canvas, but a quick turn brings his body curling around…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“SMALL PACKAGE!!!”

 

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twooooo!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Threeeeeee!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOO!!!! ALAN CLARK KICKS OUT!!

 

“Sacred almost pulled a victory there out of NOWHERE!!!” Riley jumps almost out of his seat as Clark just kicks out, barely getting his shoulders off the mat before the three. Kivell gets to his feet and checks on both men as they collapse next to each other, both having taking a beating so far in the contest, but it is clear that Alan Clark is the more worse for wear of the two.

 

“Get up ALAN!!” A random voice from the crowd can be heard echoing out, soon joined by a few more as Clark rolls around on the canvas, doing what he can to get back enough energy to stand up and continue. But only a few feet away Sacred is already up to his knees, and his demeanor is not pleasant.

 

”It seems that hippy is about to learn what happens when you hit below the belt!” Riley chimes in as Sacred stands high above the downed Clark, who still tries to get up, even with the ominous presence just over him.

 

“STAND UP!!” This voice comes from a second onlooker, but as the camera pans around the onlooker reveals himself.

 

 

“It’s TODD CORTEZ!! The Urban Legend is here!!”

 

 

 

”REF! Get him out of here!” Riley yells towards Kivell, who seems to hear as he turns and finds Cortez watching from the outside, slamming his hands on the apron and screaming for Clark to get up. Sacred cannot help but look on as he picks Alan off the mat, holding him there as he too yells for Todd to leave. Cortez motions with his hands that he wants nothing off the action in the ring, backing away and sitting down on the rampway, his eyes never leaving the action. Satisfied, Kivell turns back around to find Sacred slamming Alan into the corner, pinning him against the turnbuckles with his foot, once more choking the life out of him as much as he can.

 

“Another choke from Sacred to Clark, and the more time he spends without oxygen it seems the less chance he has of being victorious in this match!” Comet remarks as Cortez watches on, clapping his hands and continuing to yell, chanting and trying his best to get the crowd behind his friend.

 

“AAAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

Clark tries to fight, kicking his legs and thrashing his arms, putting his hands onto the boot of the Sacred one and doing what he can to push it away, but Sacred holds on, pushing harder and harder.

 

“He’s fading fast!” Riley cheers as Alan’s kicking slows and Sacred removes his foot, leaving Clark to fall to the mat, breathing heavily and clutching at his throat.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

The crowd continues to cheer, but Sacred simply ignores them as he lifts Alan to his feet and sees a chance for destruction across the ring. With Clark still wrapped in cords, Sacred goes for a whip toward the still hanging lights…

 

 

REVERSED!!

 

 

Clark is able to swing around at the last second, sending Sacred toward the lights instead.….

 

 

“Sacred is going to deck the hall…WAIT!!” Comet is cut off by Sacred as he hits on the brakes a foot and a half from the lights. Cortez watches on and the two men share a quick glance before Sacred turns back to his opponent…

 

 

…only to find him running full speed ahead!!

 

 

 

 

 

“OH MY GOD!!”

 

 

 

SMAAAAACK!!

 

 

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

 

 

“By Icarus’ Winged Nikes!! Alan Clark just went airborne and ended up facedown on the EXPOSED CONCRETE all thanks to a VERY LUCKY Sacred, who ducked out of the way only a split second before impact!” Comet comes alive as the replay shows Alan looking for a cross-body, only for the veteran Sacred to drop to the canvas, causing Clark to do nothing but fly to the outside, landing on the concrete floor he exposed during the opening moments of the match.

 

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

 

“That’s Karma, Comet! He tried to use that concrete floor to his advantage but look at him now!” Riley laughs to himself as Cortez jumps to his feet and rushes to his partner, checking on him as Sacred slides to the outside. The two men meet in a stare over the downed Clark, and Kivell follows suit, pushing Cortez away and yelling for him to either back away or leave ringside.

 

“Kick him out ref! Kick him out!” Riley continues as Cortez throws his arms up in innocence and backs away, leaving Sacred alone to pick up the pieces of Alan Clark, who lays on his stomach, having barely moved an inch since the crash landing. Cortez watches on, his eyes silently calling for Clark to move, but Sacred takes care of that, pulling Alan up and taking one more look toward the Urban Legend before doubling Clark over and putting him in position, clutching his head between his legs and wrapping his arms around Alan’s waist before lifting up toward the heavens…

 

 

“FOR MY FALLEN ANGEL ONTO THE EXPOS---“ Riley’s scream fades, replaced by three words…

 

 

OH…

 

 

 

 

MY…

 

 

 

 

 

GOD!!

 

 

 

 

“BLOODMIST!!!!” Comet fills the silence as Alan lets loose with Bloodmist to the face of Sacred, blinding the superstar as Alan slides from his shoulders and falls to the floor, holding Sacred by the head as he falls…

 

 

 

 

CRACK!!

 

 

“FACEBUSTER!!”

 

“DISGUSTING!” Riley finally snaps back to reality as Sacred’s head hits the exposed concrete, the sound reverberating and causing Kivell and Cortez to both wince in unison, and they surely aren’t the only two as chants once again fill the air…

 

“AAAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAL-AN!”

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

“AAAAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAAAL-AN!”

 

 

“The Bloodmist returns followed by a vicious facebuster to the floor, and both men are down now!” Comet yells as Clark lays on his back, breathing hard as he tries to recover, still spitting some blood as Sacred lays at his feet, face down and hurt.

 

“I just…ewww…that never gets any less gross.” Riley can barely speak as Alan begins to stir, his head moving back and forth as he tries to get an arm back underneath himself, but try as he might he just does not have the energy after the beating he has taken throughout the match. Sacred is not much better, as he finally rolls to his back, showcasing a beautiful crimson mask from the face-first fall to the floor.

 

“GET UP! GET UP!” Cortez yells from the sidelines, clapping his hands wildly. The calls seem to begin working as Clark rolls toward the ring stairs and starts to pull himself up, putting his hands on the bottom step and using all the strength he can muster to work his way to his knees. Over his shoulder, the camera catches Sacred rubbing the blood from his eyes as the stars continue to spin around his head, but the more he wipes away the worse it seems to get.

 

“Sacred is bleeding profusely now, Robert, and I doubt either man is going to be able to take much more before this is over! He may even have a concussion from that drop!” Comet remarks as Alan gets to his knees and starts working up to his feet, clutching at the apron and pulling up and into the ring, dragging himself under the lights and onto the mat before it gets the best of him and he collapses, resting as Sacred lay a few feet away on the outside.

 

“Clark is back in the ring, and I think that when Sacred comes to he is going to be one angry, angry man.” Riley watches as Sacred rolls back to his stomach once more and gets his hands underneath him, pushing himself up as Alan begins to crawl in the ring, the crowds chants kicking up once more as he gets to his knees.

 

“AAAAAAAL-AN! AAAAAAL-AN!”

 

Even Todd Cortez chants along with the sold-out crowd as Clark manages to get back up to his feet, momentarily pausing to look around the arena at the cheering crowd before turning his attention back to his opponent, his head sticking up just above the edge of the apron. With a small spring back in his step, Alan rushes toward Sacred and slides down…

 

 

SMACK!

 

 

…catching Sacred square in the forehead!!

 

“Baseball slide right to the bloody skull of the Sacred One!” Comet exclaims as Sacred falls back to the floor, but before Alan can celebrate in the slightest the veteran is back up, his face bloody and battered but his eyes burning through Clark in the ring.

 

“The adrenaline is kicking in, Comet, and Alan Clark had better watch out!” Riley and Comet watch on as Sacred slides back in the ring, only to find Alan pulling more lights from the ring, ripping the entire middle rope from every corner, their blinking lights a bitter irony around the blood-soaked competitors. Alan gathers up every last bit of the strand, a giant ball of glass and electric light, turning just in time and bringing the lights up, throwing them over top of the advancing Sacred.

 

“Now both men are covered in Christmas spirit…”

 

“…and their own blood!” Riley finishes up for Comet as Sacred tries to untangle the mass around him, spinning in circles and fumbling with the long strand, turning round and round and…

 

 

SMAAAACK!

 

 

“SUPERKICK!! A return shot from early in the contest!” Comet exclaims as the confused Sacred is caught in the face with the crescent kick, the blow putting him down as Clark falls over him, hooking the leg and pinning him down…

 

 

One!

 

 

Cortez is on his feet!

 

 

 

 

Twoooooooo!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Threeeeeeeeeee!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YES!!!

 

 

 

 

NOOOOO!!!

 

 

“HE KICKED OUT!! SACRED KICKED OUT!!” Riley celebrates as Sacred kicks out of the pin, rolling the shocked Clark off his body. Cortez’s near celebration is cut short as he and his partner share a glance, but Alan knows he can not waste a second, and before Sacred can so much as get in a few deep breathes he finds himself back up to his feet once more, Clark standing in front of him and jumping into the air…

 

“ONE HIT KILL…DUCKED!!” Comet calls as the enziguri flies over Sacred’s head, but Clark adjusts his body in mid-move, landing on his feet with his back to the veteran, only to catch another stiff forearm to the back of his head! The hard shot causes Alan to trip forward and into the corner, and Sacred follows, still covered in the lights as he fires off another forearm and lifts Clark up to the top turnbuckle, following him up and doing his best to balance himself without the use of the ropes. The task is more difficult than it seems, and before he can do anything Clark shoves forward with his feet, kicking Sacred down off the corner and onto his feet.

 

“The absence of ring ropes really is a pain in the…”

 

“ROBERT!!” Comet reprimands his partner as Clark jumps from the second turnbuckle, turning his body and sending another hard kick to the face of the Revolution Zero superstar. Stunned, Sacred can barely get his wits back together as Alan rushes forward, trying to keep the pressure on the veteran as much as he can with another boot to the midsection, doubling him down as Clark wraps his arms around the neck of Sacred and twists his body…

 

 

“SIMPLE FATE! SIMPLE FATE!” Comet yells, but Sacred slips free, pushing Clark away from him hard. Alan hits the brakes and spins around, trying for another quick superkick…

 

 

…DUCKED!!

 

 

Sacred once again eludes Clark, ducking out of the way and causing Alan to flail from the momentum behind the missed kick. Alan gets his feet back under him and regains his balance…only to turn…

 

 

 

 

 

OOMPH!!

 

 

…and catch a stiff forearm straight to the face!! Alan stumbles back against the corner, but Sacred pulls him away and shoves his head down, weaving his arm around Alan’s and holding him there…

 

 

“CRUEL FATE! TAKE TWO!!” Riley screams as Sacred’s foot swings out and back, looking to finally end this match once and for all….

 

 

 

 

 

THUD!!!

 

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

 

“HE BLOCKED IT! ALAN CLARK BLOCKED IT!!” Comet explodes as Alan slips away, leaving Sacred to fall hard, the sounds of broken glass meeting flesh as his body, still wrapped in lights, connects with the mat.

 

“NOOOO!!” Riley adds as Sacred writhes across the canvas, the momentarily lapse causing him more pain than it was worth, the glass digging deeper into his back as he rolls from side to side. Clark falls atop Sacred as Kivell hits the mat…

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twooooo!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ThreeeeeNOOOOOO!!!!!!

 

 

“Sacred once again kicks out!!” Comet calls as Sacred’s shoulder fires off the mat and he rolls to his stomach, keeping the pressure off his back as much as he can as he tries to get back to his feet, but Alan is ready, bloody, and waiting, dragging him up and kicking him in the gut, dropping him down and hooking his arms behind his back…

 

“What the…”

 

“THE DYER MAKER!! SHADES OF THE APOSTLE FOR CHRISTMAS!!” Comet fills Riley in as Alan tries to lift Sacred off his feet, but the veteran goes dead in his arms, slipping free for the moment, but Clark sends his arm down across Sacred’s back and goes for the move again….

 

 

 

…BAAAAACKBODY DROOOO…

 

 

 

…NOOOOOO!!

 

 

Sacred tries to counter out, lifting up hard, but Clark forces his body back down and Sacred slips free from the hold, backing up onto his knees and firing off the canvas….

 

 

Whiff!!

 

 

Alan ducks out of the way of the forearm, but Sacred stops short and clutches his arms around Alan’s neck, holding him in position once more!

 

 

“HE’S GOT IT!!!! HERE COMES ALAN’S CRUEL FAAAA…” Riley’s call is cut off by Clark himself, who wraps his free arm around Sacred’s waist and lifts with everything he can, pulling the veteran off his feet…

 

 

“NO ROBERT!! IT’S A NORTHERN SUNSET WE ARE LOOKING FO…” Comet as well is cut off by the action in the ring as Sacred pushes his body back, slipping away from the hold and landing on his feet, but Clark jumps up, his right foot searing through the air and just CRACKING Sacred across the side of the head!

 

 

“ONE HIT KILL! ALAN CLARK CONNECTS!!” But the kick does not do it’s job as Sacred simply drops to his knees, still upright as he can be after the kick. The two opponents catch each other’s gaze as Alan pulls Sacred across the mat and down, hooking him in a standing headscissors and lifting his body up, groaning and grunting as he tries to pull him over his head and hang him over his back…

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh no…no no NO!” Riley bangs his fists on the table as Cortez once more is on his feet, moving to the ring’s edge as Clark gets Sacred in position, his entire body weak from the match. With a loud and noticeable sigh, Alan collapses forward under the weight…

 

 

The crowd gets to their feet as Sacred’s body bends against the canvas, folding up and doubling over itself before falling to the mat, completely limp but lit up like an unconscious human Christmas tree. Comet’s call nearly destroys his microphone…

 

 

“THE AFTERSHOOOOCK!”

 

 

The crowd explodes as Clark uses what small bit of strength he has left to slide out from under the body of the Sacred One and fall on top of him, his right arm draping over his chest. Kivell drops down for the count as the entire arena and all those at home watch on….

 

 

Oneeee!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twoooooooooo!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

“NOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

Not even Bobby Riley’s yell can stop the inevitable.

 

 

 

 

 

Ding Ding Ding!

 

“ALAN CLARK HAS DONE IT!!” Comet joins in with the crowd as a roar of approval nearly drowns out the sounds of “Pardon Me”, leaving Todd Cortez to slide into the ring and pull the hurting Alan to his feet, celebrating as Funyon makes the match official from the outside.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen…the winner of this bout…. AAAAAAALLLLLAAAAN CLARK!”

 

“What a crappy Christmas.” Riley moans as Cortez holds the bloody and battered Clark up, helping him out of the ring as replays of the match show in the corner of the screen and across the SmarkTron.

 

“We saw dives onto concrete, bloodmist, and more pain than should ever be caused a string of Christmas lights, as well as what can be called the true return of Alan Clark tonight in that very ring!! This is indeed one of the craziest pay-per-views ever, and we have only just got started!” Comet continues to speak as Cortez and Clark make their way up the ramp to the music as Kivell attends to Sacred in the ring, the crowd cheering and chanting as Todd raises Alan’s hand in victory at the top of the ramp to one last roar.

 

“He’ll get what’s coming to him, just as he always does! You can’t mess with Revolution Zero without paying the price!” Riley’s threats fall on deaf ears as Comet is in another world beside him.

 

“Ghost is no more and Alan Clark reigns supreme on this night, shocking the world and defeating Sacred in the middle of that ring, both men covered in broken bulbs!! Just wait, we still have the Double Championship Match coming up, where the man you just saw, Todd Cortez, defends his USJL belt along with the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship held by none other than another Revolution Zero member Sean Davis as they both fight for their lives against Carnage and Munich!! And do NOT forget our Main Event as the World Heavyweight Champion Toxxic faces one of his biggest challenges to date, the always-unpredictable Intercontinental-Television Champion himself Landon Maddix! This one has been brewing for months, and it all comes to a head TONIGHT! SLAY RIDE IS RUNNING FULL SPEED AHEAD! STAY TUNED!!!”

[Chuck Woolery 0]

“Santa’s been generous with the stipulations this year folks, and coming up next here at Slay Ride is a match with too many possible outcomes to count.”

 

“For once, you’ve got something right, Comet. The marquee might say “Double The Titles, Double The Pleasure”, but I don’t see any pleasure for anybody coming out of this one, win or lose.”

 

“That may be the case, Robert. For you folks at home, here’s the deal. Both the USJL and HGC championships will be on the line. The first portion of the match will be contested under ladder match rules, meaning you need to retrieve the belt from it’s place above the ring. Nothing more. Complete and utter chaos can erupt, but the match will not stop until someone claims the USJL Championship. Once they do, that person is taken out of the match, leaving the three remaining superstars to do battle no holds barred style, until one can emerge victorious as the HGC Champion.”

 

“You done?”

 

“I think so.”

 

“Good, because I’ve been waiting for this one all night. Let’s take it to Santa’s favorite little helper who’s ready for the introductions.”

 

The bell sounds, quieting the talkative crowd and signaling that the next contest is ready to get underway.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is our special Double The Titles, Double The Pleasure match here at Slay Ride!”

 

The fans roar at the announcement, and that roar grows louder upon the sounds of “Gimme Shelter”. The song made famous by the legendary Rolling Stones plays on as Munich saunters out from the back, and the sight of what resides in his right hand draws a loud pop from the crowd.

 

“Looks like someone came prepared tonight, Comet!”

 

Riley is of course referring to Synergy, the trademark barbed wire baseball bat that is perfectly legal in the match ahead. Munich raises his implement of destruction up in the air, smirking as he gets another excited response for it. He reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out his cigarettes, dropping them down on the ramp…and the fans gasp and shout warning during the prematch ritual as Carnage attacks from behind!

 

Munich stumbles forward, taken off guard by the sneak attack, and is then spun around and whipped into the guardrail by his mask-clad assailant. Carnage pulls him away from the railing and pounds on his back, forcing Munich down to all fours in the middle of the aisle, when suddenly lightning strikes!

 

“There’s a storm brewing in the Xcel Center tonight!”

 

Flames rise up across the entrance stage, and Carnage raises his arm to block both the heat and the blinding light of the fire! 40 Below Summer’s “F.E.” plays, and The Perfect Storm lives up to his name as he storms through the curtain!

 

“The champ is here!”

 

Sean Davis unstraps the HGC belt and hands it back to Marcus Washington without even looking back, instead focused on his two foes in the aisleway. Carnage approaches first, but Davis delivers a boot to the gut, then clobbers the big man and floors him with a stiff right hand! Munich spins Davis around, hoping to catch him off guard, but Davis throws his arm out as he’s spun, and Munich is the one caught off guard with a lariat! Sean Davis then looks around, surveying the crowd that has come to see some good old fashioned holiday havoc, raises his arms up high…and notices that it’s snowing?!

 

“How in the…it’s snowing in the arena, Comet!”

 

“It’s a Christmas miracle, Robert!”

 

The crowd is taken aback by this sudden change of events, as the three wrestlers are all on their feet, more concerned with how snow is falling within the confines of an arena, and are then cloaked in darkness as the lights go out!

 

A soft, instrumental version of “Jingle Bells” is cued up, and fans can be heard buzzing about, although nothing can be seen with every light in the arena down. All of the sudden the record scratches, as “Jingle Bells” is replaced…

 

“BREATHE!”

 

“OH!”

 

The fans leap up, as a green strobe lights flicker across the entrance ramp, and as Fabolous’ “Breathe” plays over the Xcel Center’s PA system, the USJL Champion emerges from behind the curtain, debuting a new, yet appropriate weapon tonight!

 

“What is that in Cortez’s hand?”

 

“Is that, I mean it looks like…it’s…it’s a Singapore Candy Cane?”

 

As Cortez plays to the crowd, Davis rushes up the ramp, cutting off the grand entrance of the rookie superstar…then finds festively adorned object cracking against his ribs! Davis hunches, as Cortez winds up and cracks him between the eyes, dropping the big man! Both Munich and Carnage meet the same fate, as they approach the USJL Champion and get dealt with for their troubles, each one laid out on the ramp alongside Davis!

 

“Look at this…three of the four men are down, and Funyon never even got to introduce them!”

 

“Forget the introductions, Comet…let the bloodshed commence!”

 

Although there’s not much need for one, referee Jefferson Harding calls for the bell to begin the matchup officially. Cortez struts down to the ring, leaving his opponents in the dust and allowing them to recover. He rolls into the ring and raises the Singapore Candy Cane up high, taunting the crowd while his opponents dust themselves off and head down the aisle. Davis, Munich and Carnage collectively start on their way to the ring, and Cortez sees this, running towards the ropes and spring off the top rope, sending them back to the floor en mass with a springboard somersault plancha!

 

Cortez gets to his feet, as the other three competitors struggle to revive. Todd lends a hand to Davis, pulling him to his feet and rolling him into the ring. The Urban Legend leaps up onto the apron, watching his dazed foe get to his feet, then springs off the top rope, leaping into the ring and nailing Davis with a huracanrana as he turns around! Stunned by the unexpected manuever, Davis gets to his feet and stumbles back into the corner, where Cortez charges in, looking for a monkey flip. Davis easily pushes him off, but Todd lands on his feet and comes back at him, only this time to be backdropped over the ropes by the Perfect Storm! Cortez again catches himself, this time landing with ease on the apron, but before he can react towards Davis, he's pulled down to the floor by Carnage, who takes him by the arm and floors him with a short arm clothesline!

 

"It's going to be tough to catch a breath in this contest. Four men, two belts and no rules is a recipe for disaster!"

 

"Or history, depending on your point of view."

 

"I guess we'll have to wait and see how this plays out then, won't we?"

 

Carnage puts the boots to Cortez on the floor, while Munich rolls into the ring, and is immediately attacked by Davis. The HGC Champion takes his foe and sends him into the ropes, catching him under his arm and planting him on the canvas with a side slam. Davis rolls to his feet, but as he's getting up he's met with a boot to the jaw, as Carnage has left Cortez in a heap on the outside, and comes after Toxxic's enforcer. Carnage then backs Davis into the ropes and whips him to the far side, swinging his arm at him with a back elbow, but Davis ducks and continues on, bouncing off the ropes again...and gets caught by the throat by Carnage! The crowd gasps as the big man signals he's taking Davis up, but that's broken up quickly as Davis plants a boot in his gut, then pulls him into a standing headscissors...only to be pulled away, locked in a full nelson by Munich...and then send down hard to the mat with a full nelson slam! Carnage then charges Munich and takes him over the ropes with a lariat, putting him down at ringside...then turns around to get smashed in his mask covered face with a superkick from Todd Cortez!

 

"That tribute to Hannibal Lecter probably just saved his jaw from serious damage."

 

"Only you would find the psychology in mask wearing, Comet."

 

With Carnage down and Munich on the floor, Todd turns to old foe Davis, who is getting up by the ropes. Cortez approaches, putting his back against the ropes, and then connecting with an open palm across Davis' bare chest, the echo of which draws the fans into a familiar call...

 

"WHOO!"

 

CRACK! again across Davis' pectoral region.

 

"WHOO!"

 

Cortez then pulls him away and goes for an Irish whip, but it's reversed, and he's the one sent to the ropes, then tossed up into the air on the rebound...but as he's falling back to the mat, Cortez kicks his legs out, and is able to plant them in Davis' chest!

 

"Great counter, using the elevation by Davis to connect with a dropkick!"

 

Cortez stalks Davis, who is again weary after being taken off guard...but he's cut off by Carnage, who rakes his eyes and then sends him crashing into the corner. The masked man then follows up with a corner lariat, crushing Cortez against the turnbuckles before pulling him away from the corner and lifting him for what looks to be a suplex...but then drops him stomach first across the top rope! Cortez sways back and forth as he dangles on the rope, and Carnage simply takes him by the back of the head and pushes down, snapping him back into the ring. As Carnage stands tall, the crowd shockingly starts popping, although it's not for the man in the ring, it's for the object that has become visible for the first time in this contest.

 

"Look what Munich found!"

 

The XCel Center comes alive as Munich took his time on the floor to recover, then retrieve a ladder from under the ring. He holds it up and looks into the ring at Carnage, then shoves the steel stairway into the ring, following right behind it. Carnage makes a play for the ladder, but Munich takes hold of it as well, and the two men are now engaged in a tug of war over the metallic tool! Neither Carnage or Munich will release their grip, and together they then take the ladder and swing it towards Cortez, who takes it across the forehead and spills out through the ropes to the floor!

 

"Haha, how about that. The one guy who didn't go for the ladder was the one who got it!"

 

"Har har, Robert."

 

After taking out the USJL Champion, Carnage pulls the ladder away from Munich, then rams the base of it into his ribs! Munich falls to one knee, clutching his ribcage, as Carnage puts the ladder down on the canvas, then comes and picks his foe up, slamming him down onto the steel! Carnage then drops to his knees, wrapping his hands around Munich's throat and squeezing tightly, robbing him of his air supply! Davis of all people makes the save, as he pries Carnage away from Munich and drills him with a knee to the stomach...THEN POWERBOMBS CARNAGE ONTO MUNICH, WHO RESTS ON THE LADDER!

 

"HOLY SHIT!"

 

"HOLY SHIT!"

 

"Sean Davis is out to kill tonight, and no one will be spared!"

 

The Perfect Storm reaches down and rolls his foes off the ladder, taking it and setting it up under the dangling championship belt. He positions the ladder and starts his climb, as neither Carnage nor Munich are about to stop him...however Todd Cortez slides back into the ring, and rips Davis off the ladder by his ankle!

 

"The Urban Legend may have just saved his championship!"

 

"And it cost him his life!"

 

Cortez takes Davis by the head and goes to ram his face into the steps of the ladder, but Sean puts on the brakes, taking Cortez by the throat and looking for a chokeslam...but Cortez elbows his way free! Davis staggers away, and comes back incensed, powering towards Cortez...who uses a drop toehold to send Davis' face into the ladder! Cortez pulls his arch rival up off the ladder, and holds him in a front facelock as he seats himself on one of the ladder steps. Cortez then kicks off, swinging his body around as he's holding onto the hardcore superstar, and drops him with a Tornado...NO! Davis won't go down, and instead shoves Cortez into the ropes...then tosses him with a release belly to belly on the rebound! Davis gets up, and seeing Munich pushing up off all fours right in front of him, he reaches for the popular superstar, only to be surprised by Agent 27 driving his shoulder up under Davis' chin!

 

"Munich just hit Plan M, and has staggered The Perfect Storm!"

 

Davis backs away, but Munich swings him around, and for a second time uses his trademark shoulder jawbreaker, however Sean Davis won't go down! He lunges for him, but Davis pushes Munich back, right into the waiting arms of Carnage, who holds Munich in a waistlock...but harkening back to his speedster days, Munich kicks both feet off the mat and pushes off Davis' barrell chest, using the momentum to float over Carnage's shoulder, and shoves him into Davis! Sean and Carnage collide, with Davis falling into the ropes, and Carnage is quickly spun around and drilled into the ladder via a snap powerslam from Munich!

 

"Sensational reversal of fortune right there, and now Munich has the opening to go for the gold!"

 

Munich shoves Carnage off the ladder and sets it up, but as he's completed putting it upright, he's attacked by Cortez, who blisters his chest with several open hand chops! Munich staggers, then fires back with right hands, driving Cortez near the ropes...but Cortez tucks his head and rushes forward, grabbing Munich by the waist and planting him with an inverted atomic drop! Cortez then pushes down on Munich's head, leapfrogging over him and running up the steps of the ladder, then backflips off, wrapping his arm around Munich’s head and DDTing him as he floats downward! The crowd is electric as Cortez looks up, eyeing the prize that he's held proudly for some time now, but before he can start a climb Carnage is up and charging towards him...then goes soaring over the top rope to the floor, as Cortez ducks the onslaught!

 

"Sheer mayhem is what we're seeing here. Everytime we think there's an opening, someone comes to life in order to save their chances at the USJL Championship!"

 

"What these guys have to remember is that they shouldn't exert themselves. Sure, someone has to walk out of here with that USJL belt, but that's not when the match ends. We're deciding the fate of two titles here tonight, and we're not even close to determining one!"

 

Carnage picks himself up off the ringside floor, shaking off the cobwebs...then is sent spilling back down to the concrete, as Cortez launches himself onto his opponent with a pescado! Todd then hops to his feet and works the crowd, and the fans respond with a huge applause for the man from Hollywood Boulevard.

 

“COR-TEZ!”

 

“COR-TEZ!”

 

“COR-TEZ!”

 

Cortez then turns away from Carnage and starts rooting around under the apron, looking to introduce some plunder into the contest. A street sign, a broomstick, and a fire extinguisher are just some of the objects found by the Urban Legend, with the culmination being the appearance of a table! The fans go wild upon seeing the the table, which Cortez takes and sets up at ringside. He turns his attention back to Carnage, who is still down on all fours…but as Cortez goes to pull him up, he winds up with a faceful of powder, as the big man decides to blind him!

 

“I love it! You can’t defeat something you can’t see!”

 

Cortez swings his arms out in defense, unable to tell if any of his rivals are moving in for the kill. Carnage doesn’t attack right away, instead choosing to head for the timekeeper’s table and yank Funyon from his seat, then folding the chair up and taking it with him! With Cortez blinded, Carnage winds up, readying him for a chair shot…but Cortez ducks out of the way at the last second, and the chair collides with the ringpost! As Carnage absorbs the shock in his hands, Todd goes low out of desperation, stunning the big man enough to take the chair from him…and PLASTERS HIM with a shot, opening a wound at his hairline!

 

“Todd Cortez just turned Carnage into Rip Van Winkle, because that chair shot means a loooong nap for the big guy!”

 

Still wiping the powder from his eyes, Cortez climbs up on the apron, chair in hand, and steps in. Munich and Davis are now battling in the corner, with Sean perched on the second rope and hammering on Munich’s temple…that is until Cortez slams the chair into his back, breaking up the fracas! The Perfect Storm steps down from the ropes and turns around, sneering at Cortez almost as if to dare him to do it again. The Urban Legend winds up, going for a second chair shot, but this time Davis swipes the chair! A boot to the gut stuns Cortez, and Sean looks to bring the chair down across his back…only to have it stolen from him by Munich, who cocks his arms back and swings forward…NAILING CORTEZ! The Urban Legend goes down, and Sean comes up with a knee into Munich’s gut, then readies him in a standing headscissors before lifting him up…AND POWERBOMBS HIM OVER THE ROPES THROUGH THE TABLE~!

 

“Good God!”

 

As Munich lays amongst the splinters and shrapnel, Davis stands by the ropes, looking down at him and smirking with great joy at the punishment just delivered.

 

“Don’t just stand there Sean…go get that gold!”

 

Although his call most likely didn’t carry to the ring, Riley’s wish is granted, as Davis turns to the ladder and begins a slow climb towards the USJL Title. Step by step, he pulls himself up onto each rung, while fans sit on the edge of their seats, waiting to see if he can make it. Suddenly, a commotion comes over the crowd, as Davis is ¾ of the way up the ladder, just about to have Todd Cortez’s beloved championship in his grasp…

 

…AND THE LADDER IS SHOVED OVER BY CARNAGE!

 

SEAN DAVIS CROTCHES HIMSELF ON THE TOP ROPE, THEN FALLS OFF TO THE FLOOR!

 

“What!? Where did he come from?!”

 

“I’m thinking someone’s womb, but I could be wrong.”

 

Carnage’s exhaustion is apparent, as the now bloodied enigma nearly tripped over himself trying to push that ladder down. Cortez, also bloodied due to Munich’s errant chairshot, pushes himself up to his feet, but then finds the edge of the ladder rammed into his gut, as Carnage pushes it into his midsection and forces him back into the corner! Carnage holds the legs of the ladder up, driving the ladder into the gut of Cortez, who is trying to force his way out of the corner, but cannot due to Carnage’s strength advantage. The big man then backs up, still holding the ladder horizontally, and looks to smash Cortez’s ribs in…but at the last second, Cortez rolls out of the corner, then bounces off the ropes and hits Carnage with his version of The Pounce!

 

“In one swift motion, Todd Cortez just turned the tide!”

 

“Not so, Comet, take a look.”

 

Despite the burst of adrenaline, Cortez takes time in getting to his feet, favoring his sore ribs. As soon as he can get to it, he takes the ladder out of Carnage’s reach and props it up in the corner. He then takes Carnage up off the mat and lays him out on the ladder, delivering a few shots to keep him at bay. Cortez then takes the steel chair and unfolds it, leaving it sitting just a few feet before the corner, and then walks across the ring.

 

“What could Todd Cortez be thinking here?”

 

Todd charges, running at full speed towards the corner, and kicks up off the chair…but backflips, as he saw Carnage rolling off the ladder! Cortez lands on both feet and ducks an oncoming Yakuza kick, choosing to run the ropes and then connect with his own…but Carnage doesn’t go down! Cortez backs into the ropes again, connecting with a second Yakuza kick…but again, the masked man won’t drop, and instead waves Cortez on, begging him to dare try it again! Cortez backs into the ropes for a third time, but this time he’s tripped and yanked to the floor by Sean Davis, and then suplexed on the concrete!

 

Davis wearily gets to his feet, still showing the effects of the fall. He motions for Washington to come to him, and then points up the aisle, although what he wants Marcus to do isn’t quite clear.

 

“What’s he pointing at?”

 

“Maybe he wants a menora like that in his house?”

 

”You’re stretching, Bobbo.”

 

Washington seems to know, and nods as he jogs up the aisle. Meanwhile Davis slides into the ring, where Carnage awaits. Normally, most people would shy away from large, bloody masked men, but Sean Davis comes right up in Carnage’s face and unloads with right hands, then scoops the street sign off the canvas and bends it over Carnage’s skull! Carnage stumbles backwards, his fall broken up by the fact he was near the ropes, but before Davis can proceed with his assault, he’s locked in a full nelson by a recovered Munich!

“Good plan by Munich! All of these guys are in a weakened state, and by applying the full nelson he can weaken Davis without straining himself!”

 

Davis squirms, trying to block Munich’s attempt at keeping him locked…and manages to counter into his own full nelson, dropping Munich with his patented Full Nelson Atomic Drop! Davis gets up as Munich rolls under the ropes, staying out on the apron…and then finds a foot smashing into his face, courtesy of a Yakuza Kick from Carnage!

 

“Davis thought he was safe, but Carnage was their to pick up the pieces of what Munich couldn’t do!”

 

Carnage hovers over Davis, then spies the ladder still perched in the corner, and goes to retrieve it. He sets up the ladder and begins his climb, and the fans become more vocal than they have all match, as no one wants to see this odd individual representing the SWF. Carnage reaches up, his hand grazing the strap of the USJL belt, and he takes on final step, reaching for it…BUT TODD CORTEZ ROLLS INTO THE RING AND SCURRIES UP THE LADDER!

 

“Forget him Carnage, grab the damn strap!”

 

Cortez races up the ladder and starts throwing out punches, both left and right hands! Carnage is staggered by this turn of events, and backs down a step, trying to gain some footing so he can fight back his foe. The two men trade blows atop the ladder, as both their chances at victory AND their health hang in the balance! Carnage goes to the eyes to stop the flurry, again blinding Cortez, and then rams his head into the top step for good measure. Cortez nearly slides down the ladder, but he catches himself, and slowly pulls himself up as Carnage again begins to reach. Cortez gets up to the next to last step, hammering at Carnage with his left hand while trying to grab the belt in his right!

 

“Someone could get killed tonight!”

 

“God I hope so! Do you know what that would mean for ratings?”

 

Cortez takes a page out of his rival’s playbook, jabbing a thumb in his eye and blinding the big man, taking him off his game. Cortez nearly falls over as Carnage almost brings the ladder down with him before catching himself, so the Urban Legend leaps up, gripping the cable that supports the USJL Championship!

 

“He’s hanging above the ring!”

 

“And if he grabs that belt, he’ll fall nearly 20 feet!”

 

Cortez swings above the ladder, as Carnage reaches up, trying to swat him away and get the belt. Cortez swings over Carnage’s head, and then, it happens. You can see the jaws of every fan collectively drop, as Cortez releases his grip, scissoring his legs around Carnage’s head and floating backwards, taking his opponent with him…

 

…TODD CORTEZ RANAS CARNAGE OFF THE LADDER DOWN INTO THE RING~!!!!

 

“I DON’T BELIEVE IT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

The crowd is electric, as the ladder slowly falls to the side, leaning on the ropes. Carnage and Cortez are both sprawled out on the canvas, but the fans in the arena have leapt to their feet, and are still cheering for the daredevil stunt!

 

"What the hell was Cortez thinking? He could have just gotten the belt and gone home!"

 

"C'mon now, Robert. You know that the boys from the Boulevard don't do anything without making it memorable."

 

"More like they don't do anything without showing off. Conceited bastards."

 

Neither Carnage or Cortez have moved, but Davis has, as he walks towards the ropes and waves to Washington, who has in his grip the item that Davis sent him for. Washington tosses the object towards his client, and Davis now has possession of a career ending device.

 

Davis has SYNNERGY!

 

"Oooh this is going to be good, Comet!"

 

Seeing both Carnage and Cortez out and not playing a part in his gaining of the USJL title, Davis turns around, but gets a boot to the ribs, dropping the barbed wire bat brought out by Munich! The man himself is the one to attack Davis, and pulls him into a standing headscissors, lifting him for the C4 Crunch...NO! Davis falls back to his feet and lifts Munich up over his shoulders, holding onto his legs...then slingshots Munich towards the mat, sending him crashing to the canvas with a variation of the Van Slaminator!

 

"Sean Davis just took a page from the Boulevard playbook, and Munich paid the price for it!"

 

Having disposed of his foil, Davis picks Synnergy up and winds up like a batter on deck, towering over his three downed foes. With Carnage and Cortez still reeling from their amazing fall, Munich is the first to stir, and Davis waits on him with baited breath. As Munich gets up, he turns around...

 

THUNK!

 

...AND CATCHES HIS OWN WEAPON IN THE RIBS!

 

"Oooooooooooooh!"

 

Munich keels over, as Davis tears the bat away, taking small pieces of flesh with it, as the barbed wire pierces the skin of the fan favorite! Munich crawls away, doing his best to avoid the sadistic Sean Davis, but like a hunter stalking game, Davis follows him closely, prepearing for another shot...and this time drives the bat into the back of Munich's knee!

 

"That's criminal! Munich has a bad leg, that's common knowledge, and Sean Davis..."

 

"...and Sean Davis is doing what he needs to do. Exploit a weakness and enjoy victory. It's not exactly advanced calculus, Comet."

 

Munich rolls on the mat, clutching at his legs, bleeding from both his midsection as well as from behind his knee. Davis throws Synnergy out to the floor, but puts the boots to Munich, stomping a mudhole in him until he's able to kick him out of the ring to the floor. With Munich disposed of, Davis turns back to the ladder and preps it for his climb, then starts up the stairs, not noticing why the crowd is soon popping like mad.

 

TODD CORTEZ IS DRAGGING HIMSELF TO HIS FEET WITH THE AID OF THE LADDER!

 

"He's up!"

 

"Not for long."

 

Cortez pushes himself to his feet, and nearly falls over, his equilibrium shot after the high impact huracanrana. He catches himself and slowly starts to climb the ladder, chasing after Davis, who is a few steps ahead. Davis reaches for the belt, but mistakenly rocks it from it's steady perch, sending it swinging out of his grip. This buys Cortez enough time to meet Davis at the top, and once again, it's a duel for the title belt!

 

"This match has been a seesaw battle of tremendous proportions, and to think it's not even 50% complete!"

 

Cortez blisters Sean's chest with open hand shots, chopping the Perfect Storm as hard as can be. Davis fires back with knuckles to his temple, trying to knock Cortez back down to the ringmat below. The two men continue to trade shots, neither one wanting to back down from the other.

 

"The two men with the most history, the most hatred for each other, and it's come down to them once again!"

 

The two continue to battle, fighting until the ladder beging to teeter under all the motion...AND CARNAGE GETS TO HIS FEET, SENDING THE LADDER DOWN!

 

"My God they're going to break their necks!"

 

Davis abandons ship in midfall, leaping off the ladder and doing a tuck and roll upon impact with the canvas. Cortez winds up crotched on the top rope, and the impact of which he hits sending him bouncing off the ropes, then the apron, and ultimately landing on the floor!

 

"Davis is staggered, and we've got two guys out on the floor now! This could be Carnage's chance to win!"

 

The man with the hidden face takes the ladder and stands it upright, locking the legs in place. Before he can climb, he's met with a forearm across the back of the neck from Davis, who is doing anything he can to keep the advantage. He takes Carnage by his stringy hair and hurls him into the corner. Davis lives up to his name and storms after Carnage, but the oddity drives an elbow into the cheek of the oncoming freight train, then pulls the staggered behemoth into his grip, lifting him for the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!

 

NO! DAVIS FALLS BACK...

 

...AND CARNAGE'S HEAD BOUNCES OFF THE MAT, COURTESY OF DAVIS' OWN TOMBSTONE!

 

"Did you see his head shake? I mean, you could literally see the vibration of impact surge through his spine!"

 

Having now eliminated the third competitor, with his own manuever no less, Sean Davis gets to his feet and readies the ladder for another climb. Although he's visibly spent and climbing slowly, not one of the other three men in the match are anywhere near capable of stopping him. The crowd pops with a sense of hope as Munich pulls himself up with the aid of the apron, but he's still not close enough to stop what's about to happen. The large hand of Davis reaches up, grasping the strap of Todd Cortez's USJL Championship...and yanks it off!

 

*DING*DING*DING*

 

"YES! Once again, Comet the Revolution proves their dominance! Once again, Todd Cortez gets a receipt for his meddling! We have a new USJL Champion!"

 

Funyon, stuck standing at ringside thanks to his chair becoming a part of the contest, makes the announcement official, just as Davis' feet touch the canvas.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the first fall...and the NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW USJL Champion...SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVISSSSSSSSSSSS!"

 

Immediately, The Perfect Storm walks to the ropes, looking over at Todd Cortez and spitting down on him, then dangling the championship Cortez held until just moments ago over his head. Davis then strolls through the wreckage, snickering to himself as he pats the newly won gold that rests on his shoulder.

 

Davis exits the ring, clutching the belt and raising it up high, as Washington dances with glee, draping an arm over his client and patting him on the shoulder.

 

"Sean Davis is now no longer a part of this matchup, and he's left behind his HGC Title to be claimed by any of the other three men!"

 

"What for? None of those guys are even able to stand right now! I'm all for having Sean Davis holding as many titles as possible."

 

With Davis gone up the ramp, Harding calls for the bell to start the second fall. Due to the no rules stipulation, even the ladder remains in play, but other than a wounded Munich slowly crawling into the ring under the bottom rope, and Cortez pushing himself to his feet on the floor, nothing of note is happening.

 

"We're in for a long night at this rate, Comet. Can't we send someone out to mercy kill this thing?"

 

Riley continues to grow impatient, but Munich's slow crawl into the ring leads him to the fallen body of Carnage. Munich drags him away from the ropes collapses on him. Harding dives to the canvas, and this would surely be an easy three count...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

...

 

LEGDROP TO THE BACK OF MUNICH'S HEAD! CORTEZ IS BACK IN THE RING!

 

"Cortez made it in the nick of time!"

 

Munich stays on all fours, holding the back of his head in pain. Cortez, knowing that the legs have been targetted, drags Munich towards center ring, kicking plunder aside as he drops to his knees, using them to pin Munich's shoulders down..

 

...AND SETS UP THE HOOK-UP SUBMISSION!

 

"The Hook-Up! We could have a new HGC Champion right here, right n-NO!"

 

As Cortez prepared to reach back for the legs of Munich, he's yanked up to his feet by Carnage! Carnage wraps both hands around Todd's throat, choking him before lifting him in a hanging tree...but Cortez kicks his leg out, catching the big man low! Carnage releases his grip, clutching his nether region in agony, then flops to the canvas as Cortez cracks him with an enzugiri! Todd stands up, but before he can make a move to either opponent, he's rolled up from behind by Munich!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

"Close call on Cortez! Whoa...try saying that three times fast."

 

"How about Comet constantly chokes on c..."

 

"ROBERT!"

 

"What? Chicken? What's wrong with that?"

 

Cortez rolls to his feet, and seeing Munich unable to do so as quickly, he bounces off the ropes, then brings his knee up and cracks Munich in the side of the head with a shining wizard! The impact sends Munich rolling across the canvas, but as Cortez gives chase, he's hooked from behind by Carnage! Pumphandle...NO! Cortez floats over his back, and quickly snags the fire extinguisher off the canvas, then let's loose with it, spraying Carnage in the face as he turns around!

 

"Turnabout is fair play!"

 

Carnage falls back as he swings blindly, and Cortez topples the ladder, laying it out across the ring. He then drags Munich over and sets him up in the middle of the ladder, then loosens the braces that keep the ladder legs in place. Carnage stumbles forward, still unable to see clearly, and he walks right into Cortez, who scoops him up by the waist and rotates around, snapping him down ONTO THE LADDER WITH A SNAP SPINEBUSTER, CRUSHING MUNICH IN THE PROCESS!

 

"OH MY GOD! THAT LADDER JUST BENT AROUND THE BODY OF MUNICH!"

 

Carnage rolls off the ladder in pain, as Munich is now coughing up blood!

 

"That man's ribs must be Jell-O by now!"

 

Harding checks on Munich and helps pull him out from the wrecked ladder, but backs away in fright as plasma is yacked up onto his shoe. Carnage, still reeling from being driven down onto the ladder, crawls to the corner and uses it to pull himself up. Cortez moves quickly, racing towards him, but in a last ditch bit of desperation, Carnage tucks his head and backdrops Cortez out to the apron! The Urban Legend lands on his feet, quickly climbing the ropes...but Carnage turns around and slams his arms across the top rope, shaking them so that Cortez crotches himself! Carnage then flicks his hair back and growls, incensed at the Urban Legend's persistence, and grabs him by the throat! Cortez grows wild eyed, fearing what's coming, as Carnage yanks him off the ropes, chokeslamming him from the top down to the...NO! CORTEZ GRIPS THE ARM, AND SCISSORS HIS LEGS AROUND THE NECK AND HEAD OF CARNAGE!

 

"He blocked it, Robert! He's got him hooked in a triangle hold!"

 

Carnage nearly falls over, but keeps his balance, as Cortez continues to try and choke him out! Mustering the last bit of strength in his body, Carnage pulls the full weight of Cortez up into the air so it rests on his shoulders...AND TODD CORTEZ BACKFLIPS OFF OF HIM! Carnage comes full speed with a running lariat...DROP TOE HOLD ONTO THE LADDER! Cortez pulls him away, and rests his knees on Carnage's shoulders before pulling both of his legs up!

 

TODD CORTEZ WITH THE HOOK UP ON CARNAGE!

 

"Will the big man submit? Is it humanly possible?"

 

The XCel Center roof nearly comes off as almost each and every fan begins to chant a familiar three letter word.

 

"TAP!"

 

"TAP!"

 

"TAP!"

 

Carnage grunts in pain, but never lets his hand hit the canvas. Cortez, bloodied and bruised puts on as much pressure as he can, hoping to drive the masked menace into submission. Cortez screams out in a war call, exerting every bit of energy he has in his body to force Carnage into surrender...

 

...AND HE DOES! THE MASKED MANIAC TAPS THE CANVAS NUMEROUS TIMES! WE HAVE A NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION!"

 

"He gave up! Carnage just gave up, and now Todd Cortez represents the hardcore style of the SWF!"

 

"No no no, I can't believe this...I refuse to believe that this man has walked out of here as a champion!"

 

"Believe it, Bobbo! Funyon is about to tell you so!"

 

As Harding pulls Cortez to his feet and raises his hand up in the air, the SWF's famed announcer makes things official.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...and the NEEEEEEW SWF HARDCORE CHAMPION...THE URBAN LEGEND, TODDDDD CORRRRRRTEZZZZZZ!"

 

"See?"

 

"Oh shut up. You're not as funny as you think you are. And actually, I just thought of something that makes my day?"

 

"What's that?"

 

"Look at the belt that he's strapping around his waist, Comet. It's a belt that used to belong to the Revolution. There's still a target on that man's chest, and you can bet that our World Champion, or our new USJL Champion...hell, maybe even JET are going to have something to say about it."

 

"That may be true, but right now, the only thing people are saying to Todd Cortez is "congratulations"!"

 

With the match over, medics run out to tend to Munich and his internal bleeding, while Carnage is still motionless in the ring. Cortez ducks out of the ring through the ropes, looking over at each side of the arena and scanning the crowd before looking up and taking his cross in his fist and kissing it.

 

"Todd Cortez showing respect to both the fans as well as his late brother here tonight, and I for one feel he's made them all proud."

 

"Despite my qualms with one of the winners, that was a hell of a contest we just saw Comet, and it's all going to come to the ultimate climax tonight. Toxxic. Maddix. The World Heavyweight Title at stake. Will 2004 end on a good note for the Revolution, or is the Year of La Cucharacha ahead of us?"

 

"So many questions, but only one way to answer, and that's by one man emerging victorious in our World Title match later tonight. The focus will be on them in the main event, but right now we're ready to take you to some other superstars in attendance tonight at Slay Ride."

[Chuck Woolery 0]

FADE IN

 

Following a brief promotional ad for the new “Tom Flesher: I Am The Man” DVD, we return to SWF Slay Ride. The Metallica power ballad “Carol of the Bells” kicks up once more inside the Xcel Center as a graphic explodes onto the SmarkTron™, displaying the arrogant smiling faces of Max King with Kelly Connelly alongside the angry mugs of Wild and Dangerous, and separated by a jagged “VS”. Many of the fans in attendance are waving signs in the hopes of getting put on camera, included among which is a large poster board featuring the participants in the main event on opposing sides; in between them are the words ‘LANDON WILL QUARRANTINE TOXXIC.” Some other notable signs include, “THE REVOLUTION IS FULL OF ZEROS,” “WELCOME BACK, W&D,” “MAD FOR MADDIX,” and the ever-popular “WHO BOOKED THIS CRAP?” The camera then shifts its focus to Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley, who are prepared to give a rundown of the match:

 

“We are just moments away from our tag team match up,” pipes Comet excitedly, “and what an interesting match it will be!”

 

“Interesting certainly isn’t the word that comes to my mind in regards to this so-called match,” Riley grumbles in response. “In fact I’d call it one of the most unfair and unbalanced matches I have seen all year! Wild and Dangerous taking on Max King and his manager, Kelly Connelly. Where’s the fairness in that!?”

 

“It’s not like a woman hasn’t stepped into the ring against a male competitor before, Robert. Citizen Ichiban challenged Toxxic for the World Heavyweight Championship at our last pay per view—Ashes to Ashes. Remember?”

 

Riley looks at Comet incredulously. “Are you serious?”

 

Comet shrugs. “Well, it sounded good,” he mutters to himself.

 

“What was that?”

 

“I was just saying,” stammers Comet, “let’s not forget about Citizen Andrea Montgomery, as well; she challenged for the World Heavyweight Title… and she’s SMALLER than Ms. Connelly!”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” replies Bobby, rolling his eyes. “Do I need to cut bigger eye holes in that mask of yours so you can get a better view of this situation? Do you understand the fundamental difference between a wrestler and a manager? You know perfectly well that Wild and Dangerous are in for a cakewalk of a match! You just don’t want to admit the obvious so your boys in blue look like true heroes!”

 

“I’m not saying it won’t be easy, I’m just pointing out th—”

 

“Ah-ha!” Bobby shouts triumphantly. “So you admit it? For once it’s Wild and Dangerous looking like the true scum of the earth— fighting a woman for a shot at the tag team titles!”

 

“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” sighs Comet. “Let’s get a few things straight here; don’t try to fool the fans at home into thinking that Wild and Dangerous asked for this match, because they didn’t!”

 

“A likely story,” Riley says dismissively. “Deny all you want to, Comet, but I know the truth, and so does anyone who’s willing to read between the lines; Wild and Dangerous were told that they’d have to compete in a contendership match, so they asked for the least-threatening opponents that they could get. They should be ashamed of themselves!”

 

 

“Please,” groans Comet. “Whatever… Folks, I think it’s time we turned this one over to Funyon to bring our competitors out here and get this party started!”

 

The arena darkens, save for a single white spotlight shining down in the ring, illuminating our fabled ring announcer in his luxurious red and green tuxedo. He shuffles the stack of index cards in his hands before raising the microphone to his lips.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” bellows Funyon. “The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and the winners will be declared the number one contenders to the SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!” A suitable cheer breaks out in the audience for mention of the Tag Team Championship. Even though it’s just for a contention to those titles, any possibility of Revolution Zero loosing them brings a smile to many. Finally, they quiet down and Funyon is able to continue.

 

“Introducing first…” he says, as the house lights dim and the speakers begin to rumble with Prodigy’s “Fuel My Fire”, pounding out across the entire arena, and to an absolutely massive cheer at that!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“Here they are!” declares Comet, before a sudden BOOM of a pyrotechnic explosion erupts when Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous bursts out onto the stage! Cheers ring out even louder to meet the two men who excitedly pump their fist out high into the air in reply. “And will you just listen to this crowd—they’re coming alive for the Tag Team Specialists in St. Paul tonight!”

 

“You know what they say, Comet; there’s a fool born in every city... And apparently, they all showed up here tonight.” As they make their way down towards the ring, Wildchild stops his partner, calling his attention to the fan holding the “WHO BOOKED THIS CRAP?” sign. The Bahama Bomber borrows the sign from the fan, making sure that the cameraman gets a close up of it.

 

“Who booked this crap, indeed,” laughs Comet. “It looks to me like Wild and Dangerous just shot your conspiracy theory to hell, Bobby!”

 

“At a total combined weight of four hundred thirty-one pounds,” continues Funyon, “I give you WILDCHILD AND JOHNNY ‘THE BARRACUDA’ DANGEROUS, they are… WILD! AAAAAAAAAND DAAAANGEROUS!!!” The high-fliers race down the rest of the ramp while slapping every outstretched hand near them, then slide into the ring and immediately head for the turnbuckles, posing for all those with the benefit of flash photography!

 

“F<bleep>ing bastards should be ashamed of themselves,” mutters Riley, just slightly over his breath, completely no-selling his broadcast partner’s earlier comments. Comet simply stares back slack-jawed in shock.

 

Wild and Dangerous’ entrance music slowly fades out, leaving the noise of the crowd to fill the void until Saliva’s “Superstar” kicks in and-

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

 

 

-A blast of pyro rips across the stage to announce the arrival of Max King! He steps out from behind the curtains with Kelly Connelly at his side, and wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you could imagine.

 

“It doesn’t look like Max King is too worried about his predicament,” notes Comet. “Perhaps Citizen Connelly has a secret weapon hidden in her brassiere.”

 

“And maybe Max King has one in his jock,” adds Bobby, catching a raised brow from his masked partner.

 

As expected, the fans at the Xcel Center let their feelings for the Icon fly loose, booing and jeering the mere sight of him and his manager, but it rolls off them like oil off a ducks back! They casually make their way to ringside and Kelly takes the lead, getting to the outside apron first so she can part the middle and top rope for Max King to enter through. The Icon steps through the ropes and into the middle of the ring where he waits as Kelly walks over to Funyon and snatches the microphone away.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” she bellows, but the crowd is giving her no room tonight and her voice is lost amidst an absolutely horrendous fit of boos, and strangely enough, she looks as if she can hardly believe it! With her hands to her hips she looks out at them disgustedly before glancing over her shoulder at Max King, looking for some kind of an answer. He motions for her to go on, and she raises the microphone back to her luscious lips.

 

“From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and weighing in at two hundred-fifty pounds,” she screams. This time the crowd quiets down; opting to just let her have her five seconds so she’ll shut up. Obviously, they’d rather see her get her just desserts against Wild and Dangerous. “He is a deity among mortals in the ring, and the most brilliantly-talented, beautifully-sculpted, and intellectually superior man ever to grace the squared circle! He is ‘THE ICOOOOON’ MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX KIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

“There’s not much love out there for Citizen King,” notes Comet. “I’m sure this crowd is all to familiar with his actions in the ring.”

 

Johnny moves to step out onto the apron and let Wildchild start this match out, but Max King has yet to budge from the center of the ring and Kelly has yet to give up the microphone—slapping Funyon’s hands away from his attempt to retrieve it.

 

“AND!” Kelly shouts again, firmly punctuating herself. She raises her arm out and points directly towards the curtains. “HIIIIIIIIIS PARTNER! ”

 

“Do what!? Partner!?” Comet nearly stumbles over his own words—not quite sure that he heard her correctly, and neither is Johnny or Wildchild. They exchange a bewildered glance between each other before looking over towards Kelly Connelly…

 

 

… And then follow her finger with their eyes, all the way to the stage as the lights suddenly dim and Grave Digger’s “Demon’s Day” kicks up from the speakers, pounding out to every inch of the arena!

 

“From Nagasaki, Japan…”

 

Concealed by the darkness on stage, only the silhouette of what appears to be a rather large figure is faintly seen coming through the curtains, and sauntering towards the ramp.

 

“I think I see something!” exclaims Riley. “It’s big… and it’s wide… Oh my God--it’s Santa Clause!”

 

“Santa isn’t from Japan, Robert, you moron!” snaps Comet. “Besides, I think I already saw a large black Santa fondling Chris Raynor backstage.”

 

“…And weighing in at three hundred and fifty pounds, he is the personal bodyguard of ‘The Icon’ Max King, he is… DOMIIIINIIIIIC KOOORGAAAAAATH!!!!”

 

The lights come up as quick as they went off, revealing the massive figure of Dominic Korgath standing at the top of the ramp in all his glory! He flashes the universal sign of defiance to the crowd, getting a loud ‘boo’ for his effort before starting his way towards the ring.

 

“HA-HA!” snorts Bobby Riley, barely able to contain himself. “T-T-They sure fooled you and everyone else here, Comet! This isn’t going to be as easy as Wild and Dangerous thought!”

 

“Like you knew any different!” growls Comet. “This can’t be allowed—Citizens Dangerous and Child haven’t prepared themselves for this kind of a match! They’re in shock! It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Citizen Korgath around these parts. I nearly forgot how huge he was!”

 

“Well he still is huge,” says Bobby, “possibly even bigger! Nonetheless, Dominic Korgath is making a surprise entrance as Max King’s partner to even the odds.”

 

“I think this tips the scales if you ask me,” replies Comet.

 

Johnny glances over at Max and furrows his brow as the Icon snickers delightfully at his tomfoolery, but Wild and Dangerous are far from laughing. Everything they thought they knew going into this match had suddenly been flipped on its side, and there was no time to construct a new strategy and there was certainly no time for jokes. They exchange a nod, knowing they’ll have to rely on instinct to get through this one and as Dominic climbs up to the outside apron and steps through the ropes, it’s pure instinct that kicks in—

 

WHAM!

 

“WHOA!” shouts Comet, as Wild and Dangerous leap in and blindside Korgath, blasting him with a double punch the moment his feet touch inside the ring! Max King exits to the safety of the ring apron as Wildchild and Johnny back Korgath against the edge of the ring, and then each grab an arm as they whip him across the ring. The crowd roars and so does Dominic Korgath—thundering off of the ropes with a ferocious growl towards his attackers…

 

 

TWHACK!

 

 

… And leveling both of them with a double lariat! Kelly squeals in delight as Korgath pulls Wildchild and Johnny up by their hair and grabs each of them by the backs of their heads…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… Forcing them together with a double noggin-knocker!

 

 

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

 

“Bell’s gone,” shouts Comet, “and we’re underway!” Wildchild falls onto his backside as Johnny stumbles backwards, still on his feet, which Korgath takes as an opening to grab him by the shoulder straps and lead him over to the edge of the ring…

 

 

WHUMP!

 

 

… Before heaving him OVER the top rope and down to the arena floor!

 

“I love the way that Korgath has turned Wild and Dangerous upside down,” crows Riley. “Everything that they’d planned coming into this match just got thrown out the window!” Korgath lifts Wildchild to his feet, only to double him over with a breathtaking punch to the midsection…

 

 

THWACK!

 

 

… And then knocking him back to the canvas with a crushing forearm blow to the back!

 

“Korgath is completely dominating this match,” sings Riley. “This is going to be over in a matter of minutes!” Korgath snatches Wildchild off of the mat by his shoulder straps and drags him towards his corner, tossing him unceremoniously against the turnbuckles.

 

“There’s no arguing that Korgath’s surprise involvement in this match has got both members of Wild and Dangerous on the defensive,” admits Comet, as Korgath hammers Wildchild with heavy right hands:

 

 

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Momentarily distracted by Kelly Connelly’s applause, Korgath looks outside the ring at her, to which she replies with a big thumbs up, despite the loud booing of the crowd. Korgath draws back to deliver another hard right…

 

 

WHACK!

 

 

… But the Bahama Bomber blocks the tree trunk-like arm with his left forearm, and stuns him with right hand of his own, right in the nose! The sudden, unexpected impact sends Korgath staggering backwards a few steps, and he responds by charging headlong into the corner…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… Only for the Human Hurricane to surprise him yet again, raising both legs to jam his feet into the Big Demon’s face!

 

“But look at Wildchild fight back here,” shouts Comet, as Johnny, just recovering from being thrown outside the ring, makes his way back to his own corner. Seeing Korgath off-balance, Wildchild unexpectedly wheels around…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And pops Max King in the face with a right hand! The Icon leans back on the apron, just able to use the top rope to keep from falling off, and Wildchild turns his attention back to Korgath…

 

 

SMACK!

 

 

… Blasting the Gaijin in the face with a back elbow that sends him reeling!

 

“Wildchild is holding his own against both Max King and Dominic Korgath,” shouts Comet, as the Tropical Tumbler leaps back towards his opponents’ corner and busts King in the face with a leaping forearm smash! Wildchild turns back towards Korgath…

 

 

THUMP!

 

 

… But his luck runs out, as the Big Demon kills his momentum with a kneelift to the midsection!

 

“So much for fighting back,” Riley laughs. Korgath backs Wildchild against the edge of the ring and then grabs him by the wrist, whipping him across the ring. Before reaching the edge of the ring, however, the Caribbean Cruiser dives forward, planting his hands on the canvas and relaxing his body as it bounces against the ropes. Korgath lunges forward to deliver a clothesline, in anticipation of a handspring elbow. But, as Wildchild plants his feet on the mat…

 

 

WHOOSH!

 

 

… Instead of diving backwards into a handspring elbow, the Human Hurricane springs high into the air, sailing over the Big Demon with a graceful backflip!

 

“Shades of Essa Rios,” exclaims Comet, as Korgath stumbles forward towards the edge of the ring. Wildchild dives forward feet-first as Korgath bounces off the ropes, nailing him in the shins with a dropkick that puts him on the canvas. The Tropical Tumbler immediately gets to his feet and races towards the ropes before the Big Demon can recover, leaping into the air as he explodes off the ropes, and snaring Korgath’s head in his nimble hands as he sails overhead…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Before driving the Gaijin’s face into the mat with a flipping neck snap!

 

“Flashback,” shrieks Comet, as Wildchild rolls to his feet. “The Bahama Bomber is chopping the big man down with his rapid-fire offense!” Wildchild races away from Korgath towards the edge of the ring, leaping into the air as he rebounds and extending his feet forward, blasting the Big Demon in the face with a front dropkick that causes him to rise in alarm!

 

“He stood him up,” shouts Comet, as Wildchild nips up to his feet. “Now THAT’S a dropkick! Wildchild presses his advantage, pushing Korgath against the ropes. He reaches out to tag his partner and then immediately grabs Korgath by the wrist and whips him across the ring, only for the Big Demon to easily reverse it. Wildchild leaps into the air, extending his body as he bounces off the ropes to deliver a cross-body block, but Korgath effortlessly snatches him out of the air.

 

 

WHACK!

 

 

… But Johnny runs in front of Korgath and leaps into the air, dropkicking his partner in the back in order to force the big Gaijin onto his back! Wildchild scrambles to his feet as Johnny runs towards the ropes, and locks his arm underneath that of his partner as the Barracuda rebounds towards the ring, popping his hip as he lifts Johnny overhead…

 

 

SPLASH!

 

 

… And hiptossing him into Korgath’s exposed chest! Wildchild slides surreptitiously out of the ring as Johnny rolls onto his stomach to apply a cover. Referee Ronald ‘Red’ Herrington appears to be reluctant to count, but finally drops down to slap his hand upon the mat:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TW—

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

 

“Kickout at one,” notes Comet, “but Citizen Herrington seemed reluctant to deliver the count there.”

 

“As well he should be,” growls Riley in response. “That was clearly the result of some of the most blatant double-teaming I’ve ever seen; the referee should never have counted in the first place!” Johnny pulls the Big Demon to his feet, but quickly cranks his arm into a wringer, and then reaches out to tag his partner back in. Wildchild leaps deftly to the top turnbuckle, and immediately dives into the ring, jamming his forearm into Korgath’s elbow and hyperextneding the joint, courtesy of a flying axe-handle chop. Without allowing the big Gaijin any respite, Wildchild winds him up with a double arm-wringer, before tagging his partner back in.

 

“As you can see, Bobby,” remarks Comet, as the former champs continue to tag in and out on Korgath’s arm, “despite Citizens Korgath and King gaining an immediate tactical advantage with their unannounced partnership, Wild and Dangerous have used their experience and continuity to turn the tables on them! And now, the pace has really picked up, and Wild and Dangerous go to work on Korgath’s arm with precision double-teaming!” After another two arm-wringers, Korgath’s arm is so twisted up that he somersaults forward just to try and alleviate the pressure. Wildchild stretches towards his corner and tags Johnny back in, and this time, the Barracuda dives off of the middle turnbuckle, his knees crashing into Korgath’s exposed elbow!

 

“I can’t believe that you can cheer for such an underhanded tag team,” scolds Riley. “These guys are probably guilty of breaking every rule in the book, but you give them a free pass just because they go to the top rope!” Wildchild scrambles to his feet and rushes towards his opponents’ corner, catching Max King by surprise with a running punch!

 

 

“And a cheap shot,” roars Bobby. “When will it stop?” As the Icon storms into the ring, referee Herrington rushes over to force him out, giving Wildchild the moment he was hoping for. The Tropical Tumbler streaks across the ring, leaping into the air as he bounces off the ropes…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And further hyperextending Korgath’s knee with a flying splash! Herrington finally turns around just as Wildchild exits the ring, and in time to see Johnny cover the Big Demon:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR— NO!

 

 

 

“For crying out loud,” bellows Riley, as Johnny pulls Korgath to his feet, “when will it stop? How is it that these two are allowed to get away with so much illegal double-teaming?”

 

“Bobby, what’s your angle, anyway,” asks Comet, as Johnny whips Korgath into the ropes, only to be reversed. “Since when are you a champion for better officiating? I mean, are you auditioning for a guest referee slot, or something?” Johnny easily ducks a clothesline attempt by Korgath, using his sore left arm…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… But he didn’t avoid the secondary clothesline attempt by the big Gaijin, using his good arm!

 

“Oh my,” gasps Comet, as Korgath heads towards his corner, gripping his sore left arm in pain. “What a vicious clothesline!”

 

“Hell yes it was,” Riley says gleefully. “The Jacksonville Jaguars should be looking at him to replace Donovan Darius right about now!” Korgath stumbles into his corner and tags in Max King. The Icon thunders into the ring as Johnny gets to his feet and leaps into the air as the Barracuda turns around…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Blasting him in the face with a flying forearm! King rolls to his feet gracefully and gives the crowd a most muscular pose, to the delight of Kelly… and the dismay of everyone else:

 

 

BOOOOOOO!

 

 

“What the hell is wrong with these people,” snaps Riley. “Why can’t they properly appreciate a naturally gifted athlete like Max King?” King pulls Johnny to his feet and grabs him by the wrist, whipping him across the ring…

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Leaping into the air as the Barracuda bounces off the ropes and grounding him again with a flying roundhouse! The Icon pulls Johnny to his feet and stands behind him, before lifting a knee into his back! Before Johnny can recover…

 

 

CRACK!

 

… The nimble Max King swings his leg through the air, drilling Agent Dangerous in the back of the head with a flashy kick!

 

“More amazing agility by the Icon,” marvels Bobby, as King gives the crowd a double biceps pose. “Eat your heart out, Wildchild; you only WISH you could look that good flying through the air!” King drags Johnny over to his corner and makes the tag to Korgath. The Big Demon steps in from the apron and rumbles across the ring as Max holds Johnny in place against the ropes. The Barracuda struggles against King as he sees Korgath heading back towards him…

 

 

CRUSH!

 

 

… But can’t get out of the way in time to avoid the Big Demon, who leaps into his chest, crushing him against the ropes with a big splash!

 

“This is great,” Bobby says gleefully. “I love it when Wild and Dangerous get theirs!” Korgath pulls Johnny to his feet and draws his right fist back to deliver a big bomb, but the Barracuda ducks underneath his massive arm, quickly coming around the other side and punches the big Gaijin near the shoulder of his sore left arm, causing him to roar out in pain!

 

“Looks like that earlier arm work is coming back to pay off for Citizen Johnny,” says Comet, as the Barracuda races towards the ropes, leaping into the air as he bounces back towards the ring…

 

 

POW!

 

 

… And flying full-bore into Korgath’s left arm with a flying shoulder tackle! The Big Demon howls angrily as Johnny runs back towards the edge of the ring, and explodes into the air as he rebounds, blasting Korgath with another shoulder tackle into his left arm. The pain nearly forces Korgath down to one knee, and Johnny raises his arm to motivate the crowd as he prepares to run into the ropes one more time, but as he approaches the edge of the ring, Max King steps towards the middle of the apron…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… And catches Johnny in the back with a knee to the back as he hits the ropes!

 

 

“How come you don’t have anything to say about that illegal activity by Max King,” asks Comet, as Johnny turns around to confront the Icon.

 

“Huh?” Riley looks at Comet in mock innocence. “I… uh… I was busy looking at Kelly Connelly… yeah… look at the gams on her!”

 

Comet rolls his eyes again. “Please. You can’t even say that with a straight face!” Johnny turns his attention back towards his opponent in the ring…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… But he gave Korgath too much time to recover, and the Big Demon levels him with a big boot that sends Johnny flipping through the air! Korgath stumbles back over to his corner and tags the Icon back in.

 

“Here we go,” crows Riley, as King runs to the opposite corner and scales to the top rope. “Max King’s going for that big elbow! If he hits this, it’s all over!” The Icon looks out to the crowd haughtily from his lofty perch before springing off of it into the ring…

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

… But his elbow only meets canvas and plywood, as the Barracuda gets out of the way at the last minute! The crowd erupts as Johnny turns in the direction of his corner and begins to crawl to safety.

 

“He missed,” shouts Comet. “The Icon missed! And now, Citizen King is going to have to recover from the shock of missing that elbow if he and Citizen Korgath want to maintain their advantage over Johnny Dangerous!” Just as Johnny seems about to reach his corner, the Icon latches onto his left ankle and begins to pull him away from his corner!

 

“So much for tagging out,” laughs Riley, as King stands back up, still holding onto Johnny’s ankle, pulling the Barracuda to his feet as well. “Looks like Johnny is in for some more punishment!”

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

“Or maybe not,” screams Comet, as Johnny catches the Icon off-guard with a momentum-busting enzugiri. “Citizen Dangerous with an enzugiri that may have just turned the tide!” With Max King on the mat holding his head in pain, Johnny crawls unimpeded back towards his corner and reaches up…

 

 

SWAT!

 

 

… Making the tag to Wildchild! The Bahama Bomber leaps into the ring, running past the ground-bound Icon and into his opponent’s corner, springing into the air before Korgath realizes what’s happening and smashing him in the face with a flying forearm that knocks him off of the apron! Wildchild turns his attention back towards his opponent in the ring as the Icon begins to get to his feet and runs to the ropes, leaping into the air and twisting his body around before popping King in the mouth with a rolling back elbow smash that knocks the larger man down!

 

 

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

 

 

The fans chant Wildchild’s initials as he pulls Max King to his feet, grabbing him by the wrist and whipping him towards the edge of the ring, but the Icon reverses easily, sending Wildchild into the ropes instead. The Human Hurricane leaps onto the top rope and springs back into the ring, latching his legs around King’s neck and arching his back as he spins around, taking the Icon over with a sensational satellite hurricanrana!

 

“What an amazing maneuver by the Wildchild,” exclaims Comet. “He has definitely picked up the pace of this match!” Wildchild pulls King away from the edge of the ring and applies a lateral press as Herrington drops down to make the count:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THRE—

 

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

 

“Korgath comes in to make the save for his team,” says Comet. “But it may have backfired on him!” As Herrington orders Korgath to return to his corner, Wildchild motions for Johnny to return to the ring. The Barracuda and the Bahama Bomber each grab one of King’s wrists and whip him into the ropes, leaping into the air as he rebounds…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And blasting him in the face with a double dropkick that sends him flying backwards, over the top rope and out of the ring!

 

 

“Unfortunately, you were right, Comet,” spits Riley. “Korgath should have known better than to expect Wild and Dangerous to honor the rules of the match; everybody in the building knew that they were going to cheat when the referee’s back was turned!” Johnny steps back onto the apron before Red Herrington turns around, and the oblivious referee only sees Wildchild standing in the ring, with Max King lying on the arena floor! Nonplussed, he walks over to the edge of the ring and begins to deliver his count:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

“If Wild and Dangerous are smart,” says Comet, “they’ll let King stay out on the floor and see if they can win on a count-out!”

 

“Well,” adds Riley, “they might as well try to get a cheap victory; it would fit right in with all of the cheap shots and cheap wrestling they’ve been doing tonight!” As Herrington continues to count, Wildchild decides that he’s tired of waiting, and decides to take matters into his own hands:

 

 

FIVE!

 

 

SIX!

 

 

And, just at that moment, the Caribbean Cruiser races to the corner, leaping onto the second turnbuckle and springing over the top rope… and out to the arena floor!

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

… Smashing his skull into Max King’s with a springboard Suicide Headbutt!

 

 

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

 

 

“BAH ZEUS,” screams Comet, as both Wildchild and King clutch their faces in pain. “That was insane! Wildchild just leapt from the second turnbuckle to the arena floor, and nailed Max King with a suicide headbutt!”

 

 

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

 

 

“This guy is suicidal,” snaps Riley. “Ejiro was right all along; he’s going to kill himself in the ring one of these days… or even worse, he’s going to kill somebody else!” The befuddled referee has little choice but to start his count over at the beginning:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

At the count of four, Wildchild crawls over to the apron and drags himself to his feet. He gives a quick sign to Johnny, and the Barracuda drops down to the arena floor as Wildchild rolls back into the ring.

 

“What’s Johnny doing down on the arena floor,” asks Comet, as the referee’s count gets up to six.

 

“Something underhanded, no doubt,” barks Riley, as Wildchild rushes towards his opponents’ corner and belts Korgath with another forearm that knocks him off the apron. “Look at that… Wildchild with yet another cheap shot on Korgath, who’s just minding his own business!”

 

“Well, I think that Wildchild is just trying to get Citizen Korgath’s attention,” reasons Comet, as Johnny leans Max King up against the ring barricade, holding his legs up from behind.

 

“I’m not sure I’d WANT that guy’s attention,” replies Bobby. “I’d have left him daydreaming!” Wildchild runs back across the ring, leaping high into the air as he nears the ropes, and vaulting OVER the top of the unsuspecting referee, still in the midst of his count, and out to the floor!

 

 

SEVEN!

 

 

EIGHT!

 

 

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

 

Wildchild leapfrogs over Red Herrington’s head and out of the ring, down to the arena floor, and onto the outstretched back of Max King, crushing him with an ultra-deadly version of their patented Slam Dance!

 

 

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

 

 

“BY THOR’S HAMMER,” exclaims Comet, as the startled referee stops his count yet again. “That… that… that was like a Super Slam Dance! I’ve never seen anything like that in my life!”

 

 

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

 

 

“Wild and Dangerous should be suspended for a move like that,” roars Bobby, rising from his seat in anger. “That can end a man’s livelihood! They could have killed Max King with that move!” Kelly runs around the ring to tend to her man, but before she gets there, Wild and Dangerous roll the Icon back into the ring. The Caribbean Cruiser slides back into the ring and raises both his arms, giving the sign for the Dangerous Drop, which causes the twenty thousand fans in attendance to rise from their seats in anticipation!

 

“This is an atrocity,” bellows Riley, as Comet coaxes him back down into his seat. “I cannot BELIEVE that the referee is going to let them get away with this… HE should be fined and suspended, too, just for being such a shitty referee!”

 

“Korgath and King have bigger problems to worry about,” shouts Comet, as Wildchild makes the tag to Johnny. “It looks like Wild and Dangerous are setting up for the Dangerous Drop!”

 

“Well,” says Riley, “I hate to say this, but if they hit it, it’ll be tough luck for King… especially after the referee has allowed them to get away with all kinds of illegal double-teaming!” Johnny hoists the Icon up on his shoulders as Wildchild exits to the apron. As he climbs onto the top turnbuckle, Kelly Connelly leaps onto the apron herself, screaming frantically to get the referee’s attention. Momentarily distracted, Wildchild turns his head towards the source of the disturbance, which gives Korgath enough time to sneak behind Wildchild and push him off of the turnbuckle! The Bahama Bomber falls off the turnbuckle and down to the floor…

 

 

CRACK! “OOOOOOOH!!”

 

 

… Smacking his head on the ring barricade! With Red Herrington still distracted by Kelly Connelly, Korgath stealthily enters the ring. Johnny, knowing that he should have heard his partner’s signal by now, begins to turn around--Max King still perched on his shoulders--to find out what the holdup was…

 

 

KA-RACK!

 

 

… And turns right into a jaw shattering Yakuza Kick from the Big Demon! Johnny collapses to the canvas, dropping King on the mat close to his corner, and Kelly continues to distract the referee long enough for Korgath to drag his limp body all the way over, allowing Herrington to turn his attention back to the ring just in time to see Korgath reach over the top rope and grab the Icon’s hand to make a forced tag.

 

“That was brilliant tactics on the part of Kelly Connelly,” says Bobby, as the referee acknowledges the tag. “That just goes to show you the value of a manager, Comet; even I have to concede that if not for Kelly’s quick thinking, this match would be over right now!”

 

“Kelly Connelly coming through in the clutch for her team,” agrees Comet, as Korgath enters the ring, “and now it’s going to be Wild and Dangerous on the defensive. We’ll have to find out if they have the fortitude necessary to pull out a win here!”

 

“Sadly, I don’t think they do,” adds Bobby, shaking his head.

 

Johnny tries to get himself moving—rolling onto his stomach and trying as he might to push up off the mat while fighting back the stinging sensation, but Korgath isn’t about to give the Barracuda any time to gather himself or room to move for that matter. He rushes in, leaps up… and drops an elbow right into the back of Johnny’s neck, knocking him back into the canvas face-first and keeping! Dangerous stops moving after the first shot, save for moving his hand to cover the back of his neck as he moans in pain, but Korgath gets back up to his feet, sticks his elbow way out, and drops it back into Johnny’s neck once more…

 

WHACK!

 

… then rolls the Barracuda over for a cover. As expected, Herrington drops to count for:

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-NOO!!! Dangerous thrusts his shoulder off the mat and begins to push up to his knees when Korgath reaches down and grabs a lock full of Johnny’s jet-black mane with his good arm, painfully jerking the Barracuda to his feet then clubs his fist into the small of Johnny’s back, flattening the Barracuda BACK against the mat! Again, the Big Demon grabs a handful of hair and pulls the Secret Agent back up… then snaps on a quick side headlock. He looks out to the crowd and defiantly pumps his fist out to them, getting a raucous boo in response as expected.

 

“Citizen Korgath was seemingly looking for some accolades from this crowd,” says Comet, “but he’s not getting any from the people here tonight!”

 

It doesn’t bother him a bit though; in fact it’s more like music to his ears to hear this reaction to having mangled a former World Champion on his own and to be one step closer to acquiring a shot at the tag titles. Finally, he draws his attention back to his opponent and slams two sharp knees into Dangerous’ ribcage, subduing him even more before lifting him up in a vertical suplex and stalling…

 

“Wow!” drools Bobby. “An impressive display of strength there by Dominic Korgath!”

 

“Oh please, Robert, it’s not like he’s lifting Janus there,” replies the masked announcer, just before Korgath finally drops back and slams the Barracuda back-first into the canvas!

 

WHAM!!

 

Dominic rolls into a cover…

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NOOOO!!!

 

“Again the Barracuda gets the shoulder up,” notes Comet. “Though I didn’t detect much authority behind that one—he needs to tag out quickly!”

 

“Yeah, but Wildchild is just now getting back up to the apron,” says Bobby, pointing towards the corner post where the Bahama Bomber is leaning against, still looking quite groggy. “He might not be much help… if not worse.”

 

Korgath slaps a quick arm wrench on Johnny and pulls him to his feet then leads the Barracuda into his corner, where Max King awaits. They tag and the Icon steps in as Korgath holds Johnny into position for him, perfect position to receive a kick to the midsection which is exactly what the Secret Agent gets! Johnny doubles over from the kick, holding his midsection until King grabs that same arm to whip the Barracuda across the ring. Johnny hits the ropes and rebounds towards the Icon as King looks for the clothesline, but Max misses! The crowd gasps in hope as Johnny goes sailing under the Icon’s arm and heads straight for the ropes behind him, looking to put the match back into his favor! He hits the ropes to send himself flying back at his opponent, but once again Kelly makes her presence felt by reaching under the bottom rope and snagging the Secret Agent’s ankle to trip him up and send him face-first into the mat!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

“There’s that excellent tactical mind of Kelly Connelly coming into play again,” Riley squeals in delight, but he’s the only one delighted by the incident this time. Herrington, thinking he saw some foul play out of the corner of his eye rushes to the scene and barks at Kelly to keep herself out of the match. She backs off innocently, holding her hands up as if she had nothing to do with it.

 

“This time it was a little uncalled for,” says Comet, replying to his announcing partner’s earlier comments. “She stepped out of the match in favor of Citizen Korgath wrestling this match; she should stay out!”

 

King pulls his opponent to a vertical base and shoves him back towards the corner—his corner, where his partner eagerly grabs Johnny by both arms and pulls back on them, digging the ring post into his back. The crowd fires off with more boos for the devious deeds of this pair, but King doesn’t even pay them no mind. Instead he offers up the side of his palm…

 

SMACK! “WHOOOOOOOOO!!”

SMACK! “WHOOOOOOOOO!!”

SMACK! “WHOOOOOOOOO!!”

SMACK! “WHOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

…and cuts into the Barracuda’s bare chest with a series of eye-watering knife-edged chops that sends Dangerous reeling! Korgath takes a tag from his partner and steps back into the ring, taking Johnny off of The Icon’s hands…

 

“As much as I dislike this dishonorable strategy by Citizen’s King and Korgath, I must admit that they are effectively keeping Johnny away from his corner,” Comet says. “Cutting the ring in half is always a key to winning these types of matches.”

 

“Half?” Riley muses. “Hell I think they cut it into fourths here!”

 

Korgath takes the lifeless Secret Agent and easily lifts him above his head and begins bench pressing the Barracuda while smiling devilishly. Max King snickers while Kelly Connelly applauds, and while the crowd boos the ever-loving shit out of the Big Demon.

 

“Oh come on!” roars Comet. “They arrogance of these two to think they can just toy with Agent Dangerous in the middle of a match!”

 

“Well I *think* they are,” replies Riley. “It’s not like it matters, anyway, they have this match won already.”

 

“I hardly think so! By the look on Wildchild’s face over there I’d think he’d have something to say about that as well!”

 

That look, the look of pure anger is clearly evident on the Bahama Bomber’s face. He’s about damn tired of this troublesome duo, and the arrogance they display only makes matters worse. Finally, he’s had enough of just waiting in the wings and he steps in as Korgath puts his back to the Bahama Bomber, bench pressing Johnny for the far side of the arena and…

 

WHACK!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

Wildchild blazes across the ring, jumps up, and dropkicks the Big Demon in the back of his kneecap, sending Korgath toppling on his back and sending Johnny rolling towards his corner!

 

“And say something he has!”

 

“What’s uncalled for now, Comet!” fumes Bobby, but he’s barely heard over the rabid fans cheering the Bahama Bomber on! He quickly backpedals to his corner knowing full well that Herrington will order him out of the ring and saves him some breath. When he steps back out onto the apron he immediately turns to the crowd for some support, clapping his hands high over his head in hopes of getting the Barracuda moving again! The clapping catches like Wildfire all across the arena, and mixed with their chants for the Secret Agent the noise is nearly deafening!

 

“LET’S GO JOHNNY, LET’S GO! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!!!”

“LET’S GO JOHNNY, LET’S GO! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!!!”

“LET’S GO JOHNNY, LET’S GO! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!!!”

 

“This crowd is coming together for the Barracuda,” notes Comet, “who desperately needs to make a tag to his partner!”

 

However, in the ring, Korgath cradles his knee and grimaces in agony. Wild and Dangerous had tried to hyperextend his knee earlier and coupled with this latest attack, the pain was really starting to sink in, and with him down plus Johnny the referee steps in to utilize the ten count!

 

“ONE!!” he shouts, throwing his arm into the air with one finger raised!

 

“TWO!!”

 

Korgath pushes up after two, trying his hardest to suppress any pain. He grabs Johnny, who is now just starting to push up to his knees, and pulls the Barracuda to his feet and closer to him as he draws his mighty fist back…

 

WHOOSH!

 

NO! Johnny ducks under the arm at the last second and quickly pops up from behind the Big Demon then puts everything he’s got into spinning around…

 

WHACK!

 

…and catching Korgath right in the face with a spinning back fist, smacking his big opponent just as he spins around to face him!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“WHOA!” exclaims Comet, as do most in attendance. “Talk about a big hit to make a come back with! Agent Dangerous caught Mr. Korgath there by total surprise with that one!”

 

Korgath lumbers a step back, momentarily blinded by the lighting fast strike, and he leaves himself open for further abuse as Johnny fluidly launches into one—

 

WHACK!

WHACK!

 

--spinning back fist after another, beating his opponent into the ropes! Dominic stumbles into the ropes and bounces off, staggering directly into the sole of the Barracuda’s boot!

 

KAA-RAAAACK~!

 

“Johnny Kick!” exclaims Comet, as Dangerous levels the Big Demon with his lethal super kick before collapsing back to the mat himself. “He got him with that kick, but I think it took everything Agent Dangerous had to deliver it! Now the referee looks like he going to have to put that ten count right back into play!”

 

“ONE!” Herrington begins again, as both Wildchild and Max King, in their respective corners eagerly extend their arms out, waiting to get a tag.

 

“TWO!”

 

“THREE!”

 

“And it could be anyone’s game from here!” exclaims Comet. “Whoever can make it to their corner first will definitely put control of the match into their partner’s hands!”

 

“Unless they fumble it like every other time they had control,” adds Bobby.

 

“FOUR!”

 

“FIVE!”

 

Finally, after five long counts, Johnny rolls over and begins edging his way towards his corner while the crowd buzzes in anticipation for the much overdue tag! He reaches out, digs his nails deep into the canvas, and drags himself forward.

 

”SIX!”

 

Meanwhile, several feet away, Korgath is starting to stir…

 

“SEVEN!”

 

“COME ON JOHNNY! HURRY!” shouts Comet, completely forgetting about trying to remain impartial, and the Barracuda pushes up to his feet and dives for his partners hand, tagging in… the Wildchild!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“CITIZEN CHILD IS IN!” exclaims Comet, echoing the tremendous roar inside the Xcel Center as the Bahama Bomber leaps into the ring and blazes across it! He dives through the air towards Korgath as the Big Demon finally gets to a vertical base, plastering him with a flying body press then rolls up to his feet and…

 

WHAM!!

 

… SMASHES his knuckles into Max King’s skull! The Icon grabs at the top rope just in time to save himself from being knocked off the outside apron entirely as his other hand instinctively grabs onto the side of his head where Wildchild buried his fist into. Angered, he steps into the ring, but the referee is there to quickly cut off his progression just as the Barracuda had hoped for.

 

“Oh, come on now!” cries Riley. “Herrington didn’t think to stop Wildchild from that cheap shot, but he’ll sure step up to keep Max out of the ring. I tell you, Comet, this referee is biased beyond a shadow of a doubt—he should, no he NEEDS to be fired immediately!”

 

Wildchild turns his attention back towards the legal man in the ring, Dominic Korgath, just as the big man staggers to his feet and quickly greets him with a series of right hands! Each shot knocks him a step backwards until the Bahama Bomber finally has Korgath backed up in a corner, “-And cuts into him with a reverse elbow to the head!” shouts Comet. “And another, and another, and another! Zeus have mercy—Citizen Child has gone mad!”

 

The fans buzz with excitement at the sight of Wildchild manhandling his massive opponent! Johnny stalks into the corner and grabs an arm of Korgath’s as does Wildchild, and together they send the Big Demon for a ride across the ring—diagonally towards the far corner!

 

SMACK!

 

Dominic hits the steel post back first and staggers a step out of the corner, grabbing onto his back. Wild and Dangerous come in again with the exact same thing; whipping their opponent into the opposite corner!

 

SMACK!

 

“AND THIS IS ALLOWED!” cries Riley, as Herrington just now turns away from Max King having successfully dispatched of him to his proper placement on the outside apron. “Why is he not stopping them!?”

 

“They do have an allotted five seconds between tags to get in and out of the ring,” Comet reminds his partner, while in the ring Korgath goes on a third and final ride to the corner; viciously slamming into the post back-first before popping out and crashing into the mat!

 

“Yeah, well it’s been a lot longer than five, Comet, and their still in there!” snaps Riley as Wildchild and Johnny ascend opposite turnbuckles. Herrington orders them to get down, but Wild and Dangerous ignore the referee’s ‘suggestions’ and leap off the post as Korgath staggers back up to his feet…

 

WHAM!

WHAM!

 

… and in rapid succession, Wild and Dangerous nail the Big Demon with double drop kicks to the head!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“There’s more of that teamwork I was telling you about, Robert!”

 

“That wasn’t teamwork, that was the biggest f<bleep!>ing example of cheating I’ve seen all night!”

 

Johnny heads to his corner to catch his breath, leaving Wildchild to make the cover on Korgath with the referee counting the pin:

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-WHAM!!

 

“Citizen King breaks up the pin,” reports Comet. “This match could have been over if he hadn’t!”

 

“More examples of excellent teamwork then,” says Riley, spitefully trying to turn Comet’s earlier statement against him, but the masked announcer simply shrugs in response.

 

“I didn’t say it wasn’t” he replies.

 

Wildchild springs back up to his feet and spins on his heel, angrily towards Max King as the Icon steps forward, getting directly into the Bahama Bombers face. Herrington, growing tiresome of having to keep these men in their proper places barks at the Icon to get out of the ring, when a sudden roar of cheers sweeps from the crowd.

 

“Oh hell no!” shouts Riley, pounding his fist into the table as Johnny climbs to the top of the corner post, putting his back to the ring. “That stupid referee is putting all his attention back on Max King again and he’s going to miss Johnny cheating… AGAIN!”

 

Kelly leaps up to the outside apron, seeing the trouble brewing, but it only gets Herrington more livid and he barks at her to get away from the ring leaving Korgath open for abuse! Johnny quickly moonsaults off the post and when he reaches the apex of his jump, straightens himself out, and starts coming down—feet first into the chest of Dominic Korgath

 

WHAAAAAAAM!!!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

“DEATH FROM ABOVE!” calls Comet as Johnny nails the Big Demon in the chest and bounces off of him! Korgath convulses on the mat from the huge stomp, but that’s about all the movement he’s able to muster. Wildchild quickly makes the cover, and when Herrington spins back around all he sees is Wildchild and Korgath in the ring with Johnny Dangerous waiting in his corner. As expected, he drops to count with the crowd chanting along to it:

 

ONEEE!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Max quickly flies into the ring and makes a beeline towards the pinning predicament to make the save, but Johnny sees him coming and races in as well…

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny reaches his partner about two steps ahead of King and without even thinking twice he leaps over the referee and the pin with a spinning roundhouse kick that sails straight into the Icon’s skull!

 

 

KA-RAAAAAACK!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

DING DING DING!!!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“By the mighty hand of Zeus--they’ve done it!” exclaims Comet, excitedly pumping his fist into the air. “Wild and Dangerous wins!”

 

“Fuel My Fire” begins to pump out from the speakers once more, making a victory lap around the arena as Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous excitedly embrace. Herrington comes up and grabs an arm of each man to raise them in victory as Funyon jumps to his feet to make the obvious announcement.

 

“The winners of this match by pinfall,” he bellows, “and NOW the NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS TO THE SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP… WILD!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAND DAAAANGEROUS!!!!!”

 

“You see, Citizen Robert, Wild and Dangerous went came out here tonight and showed us what a seasoned team can do,” says Comet. “They relied on team work and off-the-cuff strategy to steal the victory here tonight.”

 

“Steal is exactly right!” snaps Bobby. “They cheated their way through this entire match and yet come out looking like angels—I don’t get it! That referee should have never counted that last fall as it was a result of an illegal maneuver!”

 

“Sadly, that’s just how the cookie crumbles tonight, Robert,” replies Comet. “We’ve got more coming up in a moment folks, just as soon as Citizen Robert dries up his tears and we get this mess cleared out of the ring!”

 

Wild and Dangerous, the former two time Tag Team Champions, leave the ring happy tonight. They know all they need is one more win now and they will have completed their goal; to become three time Champions…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT.

[Chuck Woolery 0]

The camera now opens up to show the ring, where officials are putting up the final set-up for the next contest.

 

"Well Riley, we're about ready for our third of four title matches tonight, as the recently created SWF Women's Championship will be on the line in a match that has been dubbed as the first ever Christmas Star match." Comet says. "Megan Skye has to put her recently won Women's title belt on the line against not one, but TWO competitors in the form of Jet, and the previous Women's Champion Kelly Connelly."

 

"And if you ask me, it's about time that Megan put that belt on the line. At least when Kelly was the Women's Champion, she regularly defended the belt, and defended it almost immediately after obtaining it. Megan has just been using it to hold up her pants." Riley notes.

 

"Well, if the rumors..." Comet shakes his head. "Never mind, let's go to the ring to get the rules!"

 

Funyon is now standing in the center of the ring, on one ring-post is a pole with a Christmas star hanging from it, and on the opposite ring post is a fully decorated, save for the star at the top, Christmas tree.

 

Funyon: The following contest is the first ever Christmas Star match and it is for the SWF Women's Championship! In the contest, the person who takes the Christmas Star from the ring post to my left down from the pole and places it on top of the Christmas Tree to my right will be declared the winner and the SWF Women's Champion!

 

‘CRAAAAANK… IIIIIIIIT…

 

"Crank It Up" by Super$hit 666 starts playing over the speakers now, as the first of the two competitors in this match makes her way out...dressed in her punk like attire. She is banging her head wildly to her music as she makes her way out.

 

‘Everybody are you ready to rock?

Everybody are you ready to FUCK tonight?’

 

Funyon: Introducing first, challenger number 1. Representing Revolution Zero, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania...standing 5'10" tall and weighing in at 177 pounds...JET!

 

Jet now rushes to the ring, and as she does she bounces off the ropes crazily and just in general acts wild. The crowd, surprisingly, gives her a mixed reaction on this, some liking the style of this girl's entrance.

 

"Jet has a chance to bring even more gold to Revolution Zero here, and she made it very clear at this past Lockdown that she's going to be gunning after Megan Skye." Comet notes. "I wonder though, with the recent actions of Max King to Sean Davis, if there's going to be any alliance at all between Kelly and Jet against Megan..."

 

"That's right Comet, Megan Skye is SO a marked woman, and even though I'm kind of pulling for Kelly in this match to get the title that she shouldn't have lost, I wouldn't mind seeing Jet hold the Women's Championship." Riley says. "She could represent Revolution Zero well as Women's Champ."

 

Jet finally seems to calm down now, and stands in a corner, waiting for the next participant.

 

After a while, "Crank It Up" is replaced by Meredith Brooks' "Bitch", and the crowd reaction turns REALLY negative for the entrance of the manager of Max King, wearing a flowing red evening gown with grin trim as she makes her way to the ring.

 

Funyon: From Las Vegas, Nevada...standing 6' tall and at an undisclosed weight, KELLY..."THE QUEEN"...CONNELLY!

 

"If you ask me, this woman should STILL be the Women's Champion right now!" Riley says. "If it wasn't for the referee showing favoritism to Megan in their match, Kelly would be walking into this match as the Champion."

 

"You have a very twisted view of things, you know that Riley?" Comet notes. "Nevertheless, Kelly has as good a chance as anyone to try to get the title that she and King created."

 

Jet is just staring down the ramp as Kelly starts to make her way to the ring, slowly and seductively (but not OVERLY so) makes her way into the ring now, slowly taking off the dress part of her outfit as well as the high heels she's wearing. Jet goes over to the referee, wanting him to check Kelly for some reason.

 

"I think Jet knows about Kelly's actions very well, and she's telling the referee to check Kelly for weaponry!" Comet notes.

 

"Come on, why would..."

 

Before Riley can finish his question, Kelly suddenly pushes past the referee, and spears Jet right down to the canvas.

 

*DING, DING, DING!*

 

"And this match has begun even before the Women's Champ has made her way to the ring!" Comet states. "Kelly just tackled Jet down to the mat, and she quickly going for the star already!"

 

As Kelly starts her climb, however, "All For You" By Janet Jackson starts to play over the speakers, and Megan Sky literally RUSHES out, tossing the Women's Title belt into the ring and grabbing Kelly by the waist, pulling her off of the pole. Megan is about to focus her attack onto Kelly while she's down, but Jet suddenly comes over, elbowing the Champ right in the face, knocking her away from Kelly. Kelly seems to be a bit relieved about the fact, until Jet suddenly grabs Kelly with a chokehold, holding her down to the mat with it. Megan is about to come over and attack Jet while she's pre-occupied, but then she notices the Christmas Star, and remembering the rules for the match goes over to that corner, just letting her enemies fight each other for the moment. Kelly, while being choked, points over to the pole where the star is waiting, causing Jet to turn momentarily, just in time to see Megan about to reach up to grab the star. Jet takes a chance by letting Kelly go, going over and grabbing Megan by her foot, pulling her off of the top rope and causing her chin to hit the top turnbuckle!

 

"YEAH! Show MEGAN some pain, not KELLY!" Riley calls up to Jet, even though it's obvious that Jet won't be able to hear her in the ring. Jet grabs the head of Megan, and starts to ram it repeatedly into the top turnbuckle, Megan's blonde locks going in all different directions as she's bounced. Jet grabs Megan by her hair now, and flings her away from the pole into the center of the ring. Jet starts to make her climb up the pole now, but Megan managed to bounce right up, and tosses Jet off of the top rope with a modified version of a German Suplex, but lands slightly wrong, as she can't get up right away.

 

"All three women have made an attempt to get an early win in this match, starting with Kelly before Megan even got to the ring, and none of them have even been able to pull the star down." Comet notes.

 

"But I don't think that Megan will be getting up anytime soon to do anything, she landed right on the back of her head! ...then again, there isn't much to rattle..." Riley thinks out loud.

 

Kelly, being the first to recover somewhat as she wasn't hit with something TOO hard, starts to get back up to her feet first, followed closely after by Jet. Jet is about to rush Kelly, but Kelly gets to her knees rather quickly, and starts to beg off...Jet actually stopping at the moment to hear her out.

 

"I think Kelly is about to try to make a deal with Jet here, Riley." Comet notes. "Kelly pointing to Megan as they talk, and I think we both know what they're planning."

 

"Oh yeah Comet...you know it! Neither of them want to see Megan as the Women's Champion, and they figure that if they get her out of the way, at least ONE of them will get the title that they so want right now."

 

Jet looks back to Megan for a moment, still down and holding the back of her head at the moment, and just nods, grabbing the hand of Kelly and helping her up, as the two swarm over the downed Women's Champion, starting to kick away at her...Kelly with her bare feet, Jet with her booted feet. The crowd is booing REALLY loudly now, as Megan is an obvious fan favorite in this type of situation. Kelly and Jet continue the stomping for a little while, before both lifting Megan up to her feet. Jet grins evilly, and slaps Megan HARD across the face, causing the champion to literally spin around, and now face Kelly, who gives her another slap right across the cheek. Megan is spun around once again, and Jet kicks her right in the gut, then gets under Megan enough to hit her with a Jawbreaker. Megan literally bounces at this, into Kelly's waiting arms, and Kelly easily slams her down to the canvas. The crowd, feeling for the champion, starts to chant.

 

LET'S GO MEG-AN! *clap, clap, clap clap clap*

LET'S GO MEG-AN! *clap, clap, clap clap clap*

LET'S GO MEG-AN! *clap, clap, clap clap clap*

 

"The crowd is now solidly behind Megan Skye here, but the champion looks to be really out of it at the moment." Comet notes.

 

"Which is a good thing, if you ask me." Riley adds. "The more she's out of the match, the better the chance we can get a GOOD Women's Champion on our hands."

 

Kelly and Jet each grab an arm of Megan now, lifting her up unceremoniously and easily dumping her out of the ring. Jet holds her arms out to her side, smiling and posing, liking the fact that she got to get rid of one of the participants for the moment. However, the celebration doesn't last long, as Kelly suddenly spins Jet around and drops her with a version of the X-Factor!

 

"There's the Facial, Comet! Look how smart Kelly Connelly is in this situation! She out-smarted Jet!" Riley states.

 

"I should have expected something like this from Kelly, turning on someone when they least expect it...but I guess Jet hasn't competed enough to expect something like this." Comet notes.

 

Kelly doesn't wait for Jet to get back up to continue the assault, as she grabs Jet's head and starts repeatedly bouncing it off of the mat, a move that she appropriately has dubbed the Nose Job, and has a sick and evil smile on her face as she does this. However, she only manages to get 3 or 4 bounces in, before Jet uses her arms to break Kelly's grasp, and the Rev 0 girl slugs "The Queen" right in the face. Kelly holds her jaw in surprise, then blinks a bit as she sees Jet get back on her feet, NOT happy about the fact that Kelly double-crossed her like she did. Kelly gets back up, only for Jet to knock her back down with a flying forearm, using a kip-up to get back up to her feet. Kelly tries to get up once again, though slower than the last time, and for her troubles gets a stomp onto her bare feet by Jet...

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

 

...that elicits a positive reaction from this crowd, but also causes Kelly to grab her toes in pain. Jet uses this momentary distraction not to hit Kelly with another high-impact move, but rather she goes to the corner, climbing up the pole to try to get the star now.

 

"Jet now with a second attempt to get the victory in this match, and with Megan indisposed and Kelly's toes crushed by Jet's boots, I think she may have a very good chance of winning!" Comet notes.

 

"Come on Jet, get that star! Take that Women's title away from that punk Megan!" Riley cheers. "...wait, actually Jet is the punk, isn't she?"

 

Jet is on the top turnbuckle on the side of the ring where the star is, and is just centimeters away from grabbing it, when Kelly, who literally crawled over to that corner, grabs Jet by her ankle and pulls her down, crotching Jet on the top turnbuckle.

 

"That's the way Kelly! Keep Jet away from that star!" Riley calls.

 

"I thought you were supporting Jet in this match!" Comet notes.

 

"I'm supporting both Jet and Kelly, Comet. As long as it's not Megan holding the title, I'll be happy with whoever wins this match!" Riley replies.

 

Kelly sees that Jet is prone on the top rope, and has a big smile on her face now, reaching up to grab Jet by the back of her head, and drops down, Jet flopping to the mat as Kelly hits her neckbreaker. Kelly goes to stand up, gingerly so as her toes are still in pain from Jet stomping on them, and starts to make her way to the turnbuckle to attempt her own victory for the match.

 

That chance, however, is quickly interrupted by Megan Skye, who reaches up from the outside of the ring and trips Kelly, causing the self-proclaimed future SWF owner to have her face hit into the top turnbuckle. The crowd erupts in cheers, glad to see that Megan is back into this match, but she still looks a bit haggard from the beating that she took a little while ago from both Jet and Kelly. Megan slides into the ring, and Kelly, back up to her feet, tries to stomp away at the head of the champion. Megan grabs Kelly's leg as it gets close, tripping her down and, using the ropes to support herself and get back up to her feet, kicks her right in the back of the thigh!

 

"OUCH! Now that's going to give Kelly problems climbing up the turnbuckles!" Comet notes. "Megan trying to knot up Kelly's thigh muscle right here..."

 

Megan, still holding onto the leg of Kelly, is about ready to try kicking again. However, Skye seems to have forgotten about Jet for the moment, and she pays for that error with a leg lariat right to the head. Jet goes off the ropes as Kelly rolls away, holding her thigh, and tries to hit Megan with something while Megan is still on the ropes, but Skye is ready for it this time around, as she ducks her head down and backdrops her out of the ring, Jet landing squarely on her back as she crashes to the outside.

 

"NO! Come on Jet, get back up!" Riley states. "You need to keep Megan from winning this match now!"

 

Megan is all smiles now, her two challengers for her title still down at the moment, as she starts to ascend to the top rope to grab the star. The crowd is clapping their hands and stomping their feet, as if to urge Megan on to victory in this match. However, luck is not on the champion's side in this match now, as Kelly reaches to grab the top rope, shaking it wildly and causing Megan to lose her balance and fall off the top turnbuckle. Megan managed to prepare for it this time, however, and as she falls she rolls back onto her feet, and goes over to Kelly to attack again. Kelly suddenly shoots a knife-edge chop at the champion, catching her right on her...er...upper extremities, causing Megan to wince in pain, but return the favor as well. Kelly and Megan both get up to a standing position, and this contest turns into a big chopping match. Kelly uses her cheating ways to turn the momentum into her favor now by raking the eyes of Megan when she isn't expecting it, then whips the champion off of the ropes. She lifts her leg up to hit Megan with a big foot (can't say big boot cause she isn't wearing shoes at the moment), but the champion manages to duck under the attempt with a slide, getting back up rather quickly, turning Kelly around, kicking her in the gut, and hitting her with a Rocker Dropper in the center of the ring!

 

"If this match was about pins, it might be over right there, but Megan has to do something more grueling than get a pin in this match now to get the victory." Comet notes.

 

Megan turns her attention back over to the pole where the star is, and makes a scramble for the corner where the star is. However, she is met with a boot to the face by Jet, who was using the ring steps to get back up and into the ring, and this gets followed up by Jet grabbing Megan's head and dropping down with a top rope guillotine, Megan holding her throat as she falls back onto the mat. Jet slides back into the ring under the bottom rope, reaching down and grabbing both Kelly and Megan by their hair, lifting them up to their feet by their hair. A plan seems to be formulating in the Rev 0 girl's mind at the moment, and she moves both Megan and Kelly over to ring ropes. Taking Megan first, she hooks Megan's arms around the top rope, pushes down, and pulls up the middle rope, effectively trapping Megan's arms into the ropes!

 

"A move used a lot against a certain famous giant wrestler, Megan Skye is trapped right now, and it doesn't look like she has any easy way of getting out of this predicament." Comet states.

 

"That's just the way it should be if you ask me!" Riley replies. "Keep that bimbo out of this contest, let these two worthy girls fight it out!"

 

Jet doesn't seem to want to fight it out with Kelly though, as she moves her over to another set of ring ropes. It's apparent by the look in Jet's eyes that she has the same thing planned for "The Queen", and she starts up by hooking Kelly's arms over the top rope. Kelly however somehow has enough wherewithal to realize what is going on, and quickly spins one of her legs out, catching Jet right on the jaw with a roundhouse kick, using the ring ropes to keep her balance. She pulls away from the ropes now, shaking the cobwebs out of her head from Megan's Rocker Dropper, before rushing Jet from behind and tackling her right down to the mat face first. Kelly sees that Megan is prone on the ring ropes now, and smiles widely, as she wraps her long legs around the neck of Jet in a figure four position...pulling back into a modified version of her K-Lock hold. As she holds onto it, she looks out to the crowd, and blows kisses to them as Jet's legs kick wildly, apparent that she's in pain at the moment.

 

"This match has turned all Kelly Connelly at the moment now, Riley, and if Megan doesn't find a way to get free from those ropes, she's going to be out in the cold and she's going to lose her Women's Championship." Comet notes.

 

"I know, isn't it great!" Riley states, laughing afterwards. "Look at Kelly just stretch Jet like she is...Kelly is showing me something here, and that something is ring skills!"

 

"Well she's had a lot of practice...I mean, every time someone faces Max King, they invariably have to face Kelly as well, due to the amount of cheating she does." Comet notes while Kelly still holding onto her K-Lock in the middle of the ring.

 

The camera gets a...rather unique shot now of Jet's face (and by default the crotch of Kelly as well) as Kelly continues to pull back with the K-Lock, and the expression on the face of Toxxic's girlfriend shows that she's very close to passing out from this move. However, before that can happen, Kelly lets go of the hold, standing up (right on the small of Jet's back, no less), and walks over to Megan now. Seeing that Megan is still tied up, Kelly laughs, and slaps her right across the face as hard as she can! Megan tries to shoot a kick out to Kelly, but "The Queen" pulls away just out of Skye's reach. Kelly laughs, turning her attention back over to Jet as she brushes some of her bangs out of her eyes, and gets caught with a headbutt right into the gut, knocking Kelly into range of Megan's boot to the back of the head! Megan uses the momentum to flip up and over, and is now free of the ring ropes that were binding her arms as she lands on her feet outside of the ring. Before Jet can fully get up to her feet, Skye slides into the ring, grabbing Jet and swinging with a neckbreaker while Jet is bent over! Megan stands up to her feet, all smiles...until she's speared back down to the mat by Kelly, which was an obvious desperation move by the red-head, as she falls right back down to the mat after hitting the move.

 

"All three women are down in the middle of the ring!" Comet notes. "No one is going to get a victory at this state, and I think whoever gets up to their feet first is going to have the advantage here."

 

"Come on Kelly and Jet...get up before Skye! You can do it, the Women's title is hanging in the balance right now!" Riley states.

 

As if hearing Riley's comment, both Connelly and Jet start squirming, starting to move to get back up to their feet. Megan is holding her ribs as she rolls onto her stomach, that spear from Kelly probably hitting wrong due to Kelly's inexperience. The three women all start getting up, all at around the same pace as well. Kelly goes for the first strike, trying another chop across the chest of Megan. Megan gets hit, but that only seems to fuel her fire now, as she attacks Kelly, and grabs the arm of Jet when she tries a strike of her own. Megan, using the arm of Jet to pull her, pulls Jet into an arm drag that causes Jet's 177-pound frame to crash into the undisclosed weight frame of Kelly. Kelly crashes to the mat, the wind getting knocked out of her as Jet crashes right on top of her body. Jet gets up, as Kelly's body cushioned her fall, and tries to attack again, but Megan catches Jet with a backdrop that causes her to come crashing back down to the mat. Megan climbs up to the top rope in the corner with the Christmas tree in it, waiting as she stands perched on the top rope...and once Jet is back up to her feet, leaps off with a cross body (her Skye Dive move)...

 

...however, she catches nothing but air and canvas, as Jet moves out of the way, shoving down the champion and causing her to crash face first into the mat. Jet moves her into a corner, setting her up into a sitting position now...the camera obviously showing that the lights are on for Megan, but no one is home at the moment. The camera also shows that Kelly, on the opposite corner, is in the exact same position as Megan...and when Jet sees this, a HUGE smile comes onto her face.

 

"I think Jet is planning something, Riley. She was planning earlier with that attempt to trap Kelly and Megan into the ropes, and now she seems to be planning once again..."

 

Indeed, Jet was planning...as she rushes over to Kelly now, and uses a Bronco Buster onto her, causing the crowd to cheer REALLY loudly now. After humiliating Kelly enough in her mind, she turns back over to Megan in the other corner, and runs off, leaping as she gets close to try to catch Megan with a Bronco Buster onto her now. Megan, however, had enough time to recover apparently, as she gets one foot up and catches Jet between the legs, knocking her down to the mat. Megan starts to get up, and when Jet is back to her feet, she grabs Jet by her head, and quickly goes off the ropes, hitting her with a hard, snapping Tornado DDT!

 

"The Skye Lyte!" Comet exclaims. "Megan Skye hits the Skye Lyte onto Jet, and I think Jet was knocked out cold with that! Kelly is down in her corner, and Megan is the only one standing!"

 

"NOOO! This is a travesty! Someone get out there and stop this!" Riley calls.

 

"There's nothing that anyone CAN do!" Comet replies. "Megan Skye is just one transfer of an object away from getting the victory!"

 

Megan smiles a bit, thinking now that she has this match won. She climbs over to the corner with the star, climbing up the buckles now and grabbing the star! Holding the star close, she starts to walk over to the tree now to put the finishing touches on the match....

 

...when suddenly, the crowd boos loudly. The camera pulls back now, Megan so close to putting the star on the top of the tree now...and the referee being dropped onto his head with a reverse DDT by "The Icon" Max King!

 

"Where in Hades did Max King come from!?" Comet questions. "Max King has no business being in this match, and he's knocked the referee out cold...as Megan puts the star on the top of the tree! This match should be over!"

 

"But it's NOT over, Comet!" Riley declares. "King has saved this match now, and Megan is unaware..."

 

King walks over to Megan now, putting a set of brass knuckles onto his hand and waiting for Megan to turn around. When she does...as if a message to Landon Maddix...King swings his brass knuckled fist right into the face of Megan Skye!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

MAX KING SUCKS!

MAX KING SUCKS!

MAX KING SUCKS!

 

"Max King has cost Megan Skye the victory, and knocked her out cold! He's gotten the star off the top of the tree...and he hands it to a recovered Kelly!" Comet notes.

 

"Now THIS is great!" Riley says. "This is going to be a classic victory right here...King reviving the referee!"

 

King makes sure that the referee is recovered, then slides out of the ring. In the ring, Kelly climbs up, and with ease...JUST as Jet is starting to recover from the Skye Lyte, Kelly puts the star up on the top of the tree...right in the referee's line of sight!

 

*DING, DING, DING!*

 

"NEW CHAMPION, COMET! NEW WOMEN'S CHAMPION!" Riley exclaims as "Bitch" starts to play up again!

 

Funyon: The winner of this bout, and NEEEEEEEW SWF Women's Champion...KELLY..."THE QUEEN"...CONNELLY!

 

"Thanks to Max King, Kelly Connelly is once again the Women's Champion!" Comet notes. "If it wasn't for Max King, Kelly would have lost this match, and Megan Skye would still be the Women's Champion! This is not right!"

 

Kelly is jubilant as the referee hands her the Women's Title belt, and she quickly slides out of the ring, holding the title up. King, waiting for her on the outside, takes her into his arms, holding her up high for her to show off.

 

"This is a travesty, Riley!" Comet states.

 

"That's only a matter of opinion. To me, this is a great moment in history, as Kelly Connelly is a TWO time Women's Champion! And it is a Merry Christmas for her!"

 

The camera fades out on King holding Kelly up on his shoulders as he walks backwards up the entry ramp.

[Chuck Woolery 0]

With the festive rock stylings of the Trans Siberian Orchestra and Metallica's "Carol of the Bells" playing in the background, the camera pans through the jam-packed Xcel Center in St Paul, Minnesota one last time. It's been a long night and the St Paul faithful have been treated to Christmas entertainment the likes of which most television stations could only dream of presenting. But to their credit, the noise is still rising by the minute from the fans as upon the Smarktron, appears the customary main event graphic...with tonight's challenger, the young twenty year old already carrying gold. Lifting up the ICTV Championship belt into view and placing it proudly over his shoulder, glancing down at the belt momentarily before glancing back up at the camera and smiling wryly.

 

INTERCONTINENTAL-TELEVISION CHAMPION

COLD FRONT CLASSIC WINNER

--LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX --

 

Maddix' picture freezes in place as to his side appears the spiky haired Brit we all love to hate. Across his shoulder sits one of the Tag Team Championship belts and slowly, his right hand raises upwards...with the SWF World Heavyweight Championship gripped in his long, black nailed fingers. With a quick pat of the championship, the sneering youngster crosses his index fingers in an "X" across the title.

 

WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPION

TWO-TIME WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

--"THE STRAIGHT EDGE SENSATION" TOXXIC--

 

The Champion's frame freezes also as the impressive credentials of the two men sweep away, the names remaining as in place sweeps the simple message that means so much.

 

ONE ON ONE, FIRST TIME EVER!

SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

 

"One year in the making." begins Comet. "After 12 months of trials and tribulations, battles and wars, struggle and strife...tonight, the year is brought to a close with perhaps one of the most intriguing matches of the year. The two men you see on your screen have been touted recently as the next generation of the SWF. Both in their early twenties, tonight is the culmination of what has been their breakout year. Landon Maddix, debuted at Clusterfuck from the SJL and has had a rocky year. He has been the USJL Champion, is in the process of his third ICTV Championship reign and is finally the number one contender. For his opponent, Toxxic, 2004 has been HIS year in the SWF. The man who did not go through the SJL, instead debuting straight up in the SWF in February, is a former Hardcore Gamers Champion, former two-time ICTV Champion, current Tag Team Champion and is a two-time, current and reigning World Heavyweight Champion. Now, only one of these young stars can end their successful years on a high...and the way to do so is by defeating the other, here tonight at Slay Ride."

 

"For once, you're right Comet." Bobby Riley now interjects. "2004 HAS been Toxxic's year and forever shall be known as Toxxic year. Unless, he loses tonight. History is a fickle thing...and should Landon Maddix end the year with the World Championship and ICTV Championship in his hands, then I'm sure he'll argue that 2004 has been his year."

 

"And, with good reason too!" Comet answers. "After all, there's one space missing on both these Citizen's 2004 resumé...a victory over the other. Should Landon Maddix defeat Toxxic tonight, then you could certainly argue Maddix's corner in that debate."

 

"Could. But then again, why would you want to?" sneers Riley.

 

Before Comet can fire back any response, the camera sweeps over into the ring as it's done so many times this year, focusing on the stately figure of SWF ring announcer Funyon.

 

 

"Ladies and gentlemen...this is your MAIN EVENT~!"

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

 

In eager anticipation, the fans rise to their feet whilst cheering their lungs out with gusto. Through the noise, some ominous music can be heard as we're taken backstage to where a rather nervous looking Intercontinental Television Champion is stood, facing the curtains in front of him. Trying to keep his breathing under control, Maddix's eyes are set on the curtains, his mind focus on what lies the other side. A small group of wrestlers have assembled behind Maddix and a few of them call out words of encouragement as they disperse. Last to do so is Todd Cortez, patting Maddix on the back before leaving. With a smile, Megan Skye steps between Maddix and curtains, finally drawing his focus.

 

"Good luck." she whispers, smiling widely. She gets no answer back, possibly because Maddix is incapable of speaking, perhaps because Maddix is in 'the zone'. Either way, she takes his half smile as response enough and leaves him with a quick kiss on the cheek.

 

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

We return abruptly to ringside and the crowd are brought back to their feet, as the opening guitar riff of Incubus' "Megalomaniac" rips through the P.A system and thunders around the Xcel Center! Waiting until the lyrics begin, Landon Maddix emerges slowly through the curtains and between the upside down candle-holders of the large centrepiece of the set, head down in concentration. There he stops as the crowd's cheers are slowly becoming less hysterical...

 

"HEEEEEEYYY MEG-A-LOMANIAC!

You're no Jesus, yeah you're no f--kin' Elvis...

 

Bursting into life, the nerves and concentration are down the pan...and now, the challenger simply lets the emotion and passion of the moment take him over as he storms down the aisleway, tagging hands of those down the side of the aisle.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the SWF WORLD... HEAVYWEIGHT... CHAMPIONSHIP!” Funyon booms over the noise of the crowd. "Introducing first at this time, the challenger. Hailing from Huron, South Dakota and weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds. The reigning, THREE time Intercontinental Television Champion and the winner of the first-ever Cold Front Classic Tournament...this is LANDON... "LA CUCARACHA"... MAAAAA-DDIIIIIXXXXX!!!!"

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Sliding into the ring, Maddix unstraps the ICTV Championship belt from around his waist before proudly displaying it above his head for all to see, despite the fact his mind is clearly on other, bigger, more prestigious championship's at this moment. Soaking up the cheers, Maddix passes off his title to assigned referee Nick Soapdish absent mindedly, his gaze more focused on the entrance way now.

 

"It's evident from just looking at Landon Maddix's face just how much this match means to him. After what has been a turbulent year, with conflicts with The Suicide King running for the latter half of the year, this is just Landon's second World Title shot...despite being ICTV Champion three times, Landon never seemed to advance upwards."

 

"That's because he never deserved the promotion." snaps Riley.

 

"I would chalk it up to King's vindictiveness personally." Comet counter-claims. "After all, Landon's only title shot thus far came against Charlie "Grappler" Matthews, way back when."

 

Leaning into the ropes and testing them for spring with possible plans for using them in the course of the match...

 

 

...as Scotty beams us backstage again. This time, it's Revolution Zero who are making their way towards the curtains, having just turned the finally corner on the way to the entrance. As they reach the curtains, the Revolution stop. All except Toxxic have taken a beating already tonight and it seems to show, as they all pat their leader on the back, Jet massaging Toxxic's shoulders as he tries to keep lossened up.

 

"Give'm hell boss." Spike chimes in from the back.

 

"Yeah, good luck." adds Davis. Sacred is oddly quiet...after all, by rights HE should be out there already, waiting for Toxxic, eyeing up a second World Heavyweight Championship.

 

"Listen, whatever happens, you guys stay back." Toxxic says firmly. "I don't care if I'm spittin' my guts out, you don't get involved. Right?"

 

The Revolution all nod, even Sacred, as Toxxic turns his attentions back to the curtains in front of me. Already he can hear the boos filling the air behind the curtain and as the boos begin to grow, Toxxic can do little to hide a wry grin. Already the opening chord of "Rookie" by Boy Sets Fire has crashed out over the arena...

 

'PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG'

 

"Well, this is it." mumbles Toxxic, trying to pysch himself up. "The end...of a Revolutionary year!"

 

Toxxic's wry smile grows ever so slightly as Spike, Jet, Washington and Davis all smile on in the background.

 

 

Meanwhile, we go back into the Xcel Center...

 

*BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BOOOOOM!*

 

...just in time for some pyro! The atmosphere is at fever pitch now as through the smokey entrance way strides the Heavyweight Champion of the World, able to manage a lopsided grin as the smoke clears. This is all very familiar to him you see. He's been here before. And he knows that he has the talent to be here again next year.

 

"And the opponent! From Nottingham, England...he weighs in at two hundred and eighteen pounds. The leader of Revolution Zero and the two-time, current, reigning and defending SWF WORLD... HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! "The Straight Edge Sensation"... ladies and gentlemen... TOXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIC!!”

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

In tune with his introduction, Toxxic raises his championship belts high in the air...making sure the World Heavyweight Title goes higher...high enough for the entire world to see.

 

"Well, it seems Toxxic is coming into this match quite confident Robert." Comet points out.

 

"As he should be!" Riley answers. "And not just because he has the all important 'champion's advantage'...this has been HIS year. He, not Maddix, is the man to beat. Let's face it, Toxxic is darn near unbeatable. In the short space of a year, he has become the most vaunted, most feared man in this sport of ours. Heck, he took just HALF a year to work his way through the majority of the roster and become the World Heavyweight Champion!"

 

"But Toxxic has never faced Landon Maddix." Comet astutely points out as Toxxic finally begins to stroll down the aisle.

 

"Ninety three days Comet, ninety three days! Only three men have had longer reigns than this man. One of whom is Tom Flesher, Comet. TOM FLESHER!"

 

"There's no need to sho..."

 

"TOM FLESHER~!"

 

Rolling into the ring without the merest glance at his opposition standing across the ring, paying him the slightest of respect in the process. Toxxic instead stands in the centre of the ring, looking out into the St Paul crowd...and doing his best not to let the literally hundreds of middle fingers currently being waved in his direction get into his head, as he waits...

 

 

*BAP-BAP!*

 

*BOOOOM!*

 

"I never thought this could be me,

I guess you never do until it's happening to you

Like all the fun turns into shame

And all the 'could-have-beens' rearrange..."

 

As the pyro dies down from the ring posts, all that remains through the smoke now clouding the ring is Toxxic and his two championship belts. Looking up once more, 'The Straight-Edge Sensation' breaks his trademark pose and slowly peels his two titles off of his shoulders, before removing his 'Prepare To Be Proved Wrong' t-shirt and tossing it over his head, into the front row. Toxxic is now seemingly ready as he finally decides to give Landon the time of day, glaring through his eyeliner highlighted eyes. Maddix steps out of the corner and limbers up, stretching out his upper body while trying not to show any nerves, anything that could be mis-construed as weakness.

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

Up go the chants and suddenly, the grin has shifted from champion to challenger. Toxxic and Maddix are now fully focused on each other, each man eyeing up the opposition from across the ring.

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

The pro-challenger chants show no signs of let-up as both men emerge from their corners together on the instructions of referee Soapdish. Calling the two men closer in, Soapdish goes over the rules one last time, making sure to look into both men's eyes when he gets to the request for a 'clean fight'. Maddix's lip curves at the side at the mere thought of a clean match, while Toxxic doesn't feel the need to react. After all, he's Toxxic. With the rules re-iterated, Soapdish is passed the World Title belt from Toxxic. Showing the prize to first Toxxic, then Maddix, Soapdish holds the World Title carefully in his hands and raises the prize up...Landon casting the cheekiest of glances up at the belt, as Toxxic remains focused on his challenger.

 

"Tonight, we could be writing a new name in the record books..." mumbles Comet, glancing at the belt much like everyone in the arena. "Be it through Landon Maddix's first title reign, or what could be the third longest World Title reign ever."

 

"Or, the second." Riley points out. "Let's face it, Toxxic is right on MacPhisto's tail, with ten days seperating their reigns."

 

"Very true." Comet admits. "It is remarkable to think that this young upstart is on the verge of eclipsing so many long standing records, from so many legendary figures."

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

The bell rings and the final match of 2004 is underway! Both men, having just retreated back into their corners, emerge back out again and stride into the centre of the ring. Toxxic cracks his neck from side to side as he walks out, one last attempt to get himself loosened up fully...as he, and Maddix, lunge into a tie-up. And just a mere tie-up brings a buzz into the air. Acquainted for the first time, both Toxxic and Maddix jockey for position in the centre of the ring, testing out the other's strength...before Toxxic pushes the challenger away. Both men stop, glaring at the other as the first stalemate has been established.

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

Toxxic has little time to revel in his mini-victory however, as up sound the chants once more. But the focused champion brushes them off and calls his challenger back in, pulling him into another tie-up. Again the two men jockey and jostle, trying to get the upperhand over the other. And this time, it's the stronger Toxxic who gains the advantage, pushing Maddix slowly backwards...until Maddix gains a little traction and begins to push back. At which point, Toxxic pushes his opponent off again.

 

"You're NOTHIN'!" howls Toxxic as Landon stumbles backwards into the ropes, hooking onto them as he bounces back. The harsh words of the champion ring in his ears and now Maddix is the one to take the intitative, inviting Toxxic into a lock-up. The Champ obliges. But this time, there is no jostling, as Toxxic simply drills his knee into Maddix' solar-plexus. Toxxic then grabs Maddix by the arm, whipping him across the ring and into the ropes. The challenger rebounds, Toxxic waiting on him with a clothesline...

 

 

...but Maddix ducks under, swiveling on his heels as Toxxic turns.

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

"SHAZZAM~!" Comet cries.

 

Maddix's knifedge bounces off of the slender chest of the World Champion, causing him to stumble on his feet.

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

Following up with a second, Maddix knows that mere chops won't keep Toxxic at bay, so grabs his opponent in a side headlock. Toxxic fires off some quick shots to Maddix's side, before pushing him off into the ropes. But Maddix is more than prepared for the everyday counter, already with his head down to duck Toxxic's clothesline attempt. On his way around, Landon holds out an arm and swings around Toxxic's body like a street lamp, hooking on a waistlock. Almost laughing Maddix off, Toxxic clenches up his arm and prepares to back elbow 'La Cucaracha'...but Maddix suddenly shocks the straight edger with a lift, twisting Toxxic over onto his front into something akin to an amateur throw! Maddix hangs onto the waistlock as Toxxic lands face-first on the mat.

 

"What the hell?" groans Riley. "Don't tell me Maddix is trying to actually...you know, wrestle."

 

"Toxxic limitations in this field of wrestling are well documented." Comet points out, pleased to do so too. "And while Landon Maddix is no technical wizard, I would give him the edge over Toxxic. Let's face it Robert, Landon must have picked up SOMETHING from his days with Todd Royal and for that matter, his days with Chris Card. Not to mention John Duran, Va'aiga..."

 

"Oh yes, Va'aiga the All American. How could I forget about him." sneers Riley.

 

"He...he wasn't from America."

 

"All the same, your opinion is ridiculous." Riley deadpans. "One move of doom Va'aiga taught Maddix diddly-squat in terms of mat wrestling. Maddix is as much a spot monkey as Toxxic is. No matter how much he tries to hide it."

 

Having floated over the front, Maddix now has Toxxic trapped in a front facelock on the mat while focusing all of his body weight down across the champion's shoulder blades in an effort to keep him grounded. From the look on Toxxic's face, he doesn't seem too happy about being drawn into this type of match. Pushing up onto his knees, Toxxic aliviates some of the pressure on his neck, but only briefly as Maddix rolls to the side, rolling again so he has Toxxic back, face-down. Again, Toxxic pushes up to a knelt position. But still La Cucaracha clings onto the front facelock with teeth gritted in determination, clamping the hold on around Toxxic's jaw and leaning back. Reaching forwards, Toxxic swings out and cracks Maddix in the kidneys with a left cross, before sending a right around the other side. Maddix can sense Toxxic coming back as another left cross quivers his lower back. Toxxic clenches up for a right, but Maddix one-ups him again by stepping over the back of Toxxic and switching from the front facelock into an inverted front facelock on the way. Knowing what comes next, the World Champion frantically claws at Maddix's head in search of some leverage... hair... ears... eyes, whatever.

 

But suddenly, the Bottom Drops Out on Toxxic as Maddix drops to one knee, driving The Straight Edge Sensation's spine across his other!

 

"I'm sure Toxxic recognises that move...a favourite of his stable-mate Sacred and the first step n the Detoxx." Comet points out.

 

Tossing the frame of his opponent off of his knee almost nonchalantly, Maddix looks down on Toxxic as he writhes on the canvas, waiting until Toxxic begins to turn over. At which point, Maddix drops to his knees and re-applies the front facelock on the champion.

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

The crowd support is with Maddix as ever, despite the fact his offense is so far...less than spectacular, shall we say? Toxxic wastes little time in again pulling himself back to his knees. Then to his feet. Only for Maddix to remain one step ahead, releasing Toxxic straight away and pulling him into the ropes with an irish whip. Rebounding, Toxxic runs straight into...

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

...another knifedge! This time, the straight edger's momentum adds to the sting and he cannot stop himself falling to the canvas, quickly pressed down for a pin attempt...

 

 

 

ON...

 

 

Toxxic wastes no time in a kickout, but Maddix wastes even less in going back to...yes, you guessed it, the front facelock.

 

"Great tenacity being shown by the challenger...picking a body part, picking a hold and sticking to it." Comet enthuses.

 

"Tenacity. Is that what it's called." sighs Riley in response, faking a yawn. "Then again, you were always the biggest fan of that god-foresaken Grappler, so..."

 

Angrily Toxxic slams his fist into the canvas in his frustration, Soapdish luckily not stupid enough to mistake the anger for a tapout despite Maddix's insistance that it infact was. Face down once more, Toxxic realises that he's going nowhere fast unless he makes another effort to escape. This time, rather than pushing himself upwards the straight-edger places one knee on the canvas, using the sudden gap between chest and canvas to try and spin out onto his back. Maddix clings onto the hold in vain, but is far from 'strong' and simply cannot hold on as Toxxic spins out. But he misses a chance to chain his escape into any sort of hold of his own, satisfied enough with merely escaping the facelock. Both men are up now, Toxxic walking in with his mind slightly clouded perhaps, as he doesn't see the armdrag he's walking into coming. Toxxic lands across his hip, while Maddix clings onto the arm and proves he does know more than one basic wrestling hold, applying an armbar on Toxxic. Before releasing that, and chaining into a rear chinlock.

 

"If Citizen Maddix's tactics are to frustrate the champion then I'd hasten to imagine it's working." predicts Comet.

 

"And if he's trying to send St Paul into a collective coma, that's working as well." Riley snaps.

 

Trapped in yet another basic yet not particularly comfortable wear-down hold, Toxxic once again pushes up to his feet in an attempt to take some pressure off. Reaching his feet, Toxxic manages to turn his head slightly in Maddix's relatively weak grip, now being held somewhere in between headlock and chinlock. A backhand stings Maddix's kidneys...as do two more, before Toxxic drives an elbow into Maddix's side. A second elbow is driven in with enough force to break Maddix's grip, Toxxic free again...

 

*SMACK!*

 

...and this time he takes full advantage, diving backwards and catching Maddix' over the forehead with a heel kick on the way down! Away bounces Maddix from the force of the shot, landing up a good few feet across the ring. Toxxic meanwhile is back up and for all of Maddix work thus far, it seems that the World Champion is showing little ill-effects...apart from a very, pissed off look on his face.

 

"Thank gaw-d!" drawls Riley.

 

Striding over to where Maddix is pulling himself up, Toxxic helps his foe up with two handfuls of hair...before WAFFLING him with a European uppercut, straight out of Nottingham! The stiff impact sends Maddix back a couple of steps, but Toxxic follows him in and nails a second European uppercut, this one sending Maddix slumping against the ropes with an not altogether 'with it' look in his eyes. Pulling the challenger's defenceless body off of the ropes, Toxxic scoops and slams Maddix with ease before backing into the corner. Measuring the challenger, out of the corner strolls the champ, taking his time over driving a forearm down across Maddix's head! But Toxxic isn't done there, stepping a foot the other side of Maddix and firing down with some mounted right hands!

 

 

"ONE!"

 

Soapdish begins a count on Toxxic as he continues to fire away with the right hands.

 

 

"TWO!"

 

Trying to cover up as the rights rain down on him, Landon is surely regretting getting under the skin of the World Champion now.

 

 

"THREE!"

 

Toxxic, never one to do anything too illegal ignores the count and Soapdish altogether, too pre-occupied with pounding his challenger's face into his skull with the straight rights.

 

 

"FO..."

 

Finally Toxxic stops his punches and stands back up, brushing off admonishment from Soapdish as he lines up Maddix...and boots him in the head.

 

"Well, it was fun while it lasted...but the Landon Maddix 'Dreams' tour can officially be considered cancelled now." Riley sneers. "This kid just made the biggest mistake of his life by pushing his luck with Toxxic the way he did."

 

"He was wrestling him Robert." sighs Comet. "What's so wrong with that?"

 

"If that's your idea of wrestling then I eagerly await Dace returning to the SWF and dropping you on your stupid masked head."

 

Climbing back to his feet, Maddix's thoughts are clearly being clouded by the effects of repeated strikes now as he is noticeably wobbling while walking across the ring. Toxxic is waiting for him, whipping Maddix into the corner. The challenger hits the buckles hard and bounces out of the corner, with Toxxic waiting and smashing him with a no-nonsense clothesline. As he hits the mat, Maddix makes sure to flip onto his front even in his dizzied state, although it's not likely he'd be pinned at this stage in the mat anyway. So Toxxic reaches down and drags Maddix from the canvas by the hair, spinning him around and sending Maddix on his way with a quick shove. Somehow Maddix manages to raise a boot which snuggles safely on the middle turnbuckle, halting his momentum...

 

 

...but Toxxic follows straight in after his challenger and swings out an arm, clotheslining Maddix in the back of the head and in the process sandwiching the blond haired head in front of him between forearm and turnbuckle. Maddix tries to grab the ropes to stop himself falling to the mat, but Toxxic claps both of his hands off of the ropes. Flat on his back and seeing stars, Maddix is trying to sit back up but not getting too far as Toxxic runs across the ring, sliding back at Maddix and driving a seated dropkick into the side of Landon's head. The blow snaps Maddix's head violently to his side, leaving his brains scrambled one more time. Looking down at his opponent with disgust, Toxxic glancing up at the crowd and with a smile, cracks his neck from side to side once more.

 

"TOX-XIC SUCKS! TOX-XIC SUCKS! TOX-XIC SUCKS!"

 

Slowly Toxxic gets back to his feet, beckoning the ICTV Champion up with his lopsided grin almost creeping to the surface.

 

"Uh-oh." Comet mumbles nervously. "I think Toxxic has something big in mind Robert."

 

"Don't we all."

 

"What?"

 

"Uhm...nevermind, nevermind."

 

Landon tries to push himself back up to his feet, desperately trying to keep himself in the match and in the running for the World Champion. But the champ has something to say about that, catching Maddix as he reaches his feet with a forearm into the kidneys. Groaning, Maddix slumps forward slghtly as Toxxic places his head across the side of Maddix's thigh. He then locks a waistlock around the challenger which in itself is enough to bring the crowd to their feet...

 

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!"

 

...the high-angle backdrop suplex that follows causing them to pop like bubble wrap on Boxing Day!

 

"Sweet Jesus of Nazareth!" Comet gasps in shock.

 

Maddix lands high and tight across the back of his neck, bouncing off of the canvas and rolling around to his front as he lands. Sitting up, the champion doesn't need to do any posing or taunting. He knows that his actions have spoke loud enough already.

 

 

"TOX-XIC SUCKS! TOX-XIC SUCKS! TOX-XIC SUCKS!"

 

In spite of the crowd's chants, Toxxic's mouth is slowly beginning to contort itself into a twisted smile as he pushes up onto his knees. Feet away Maddix lies motionless near the centre of the ring with his head leant to the side at a vile looking angle. Toxxic stops as he sees Maddix, still smiling. A worried looking Nick Soapdish is checking on La Cucaracha on bent knee, not expecting the hand of the World Champion to rest across his shoulder...

 

"He's done...ring the bell." Toxxic advises the referee, tightening his grip on Soapdish's shoulders as he does. But Soapdish doesn't agree and notices Maddix's eyes blinking as he lies otherwise motionless. But Toxxic doesn't agree. "I said ring the bloody bell!" he growls at Soapdish through gritted teeth.

 

"Wha...what's going on here Robert." Comet asks curiously.

 

"Don't you see...Toxxic has KOed Maddix. Thus, he wins the match."

 

"So why isn't Citizen Soapdish ringing the bell then?"

 

"Because he's a clueless dolt? How the hell should I know? All I know is that if the challenger cannot continue, then Toxxic retains his title...and that's all that matters.

 

But still, Soapdish isn't calling for the bell so Toxxic furiously begins to lift the two hundred and twenty pounds of deadweight known as Landon Maddix back up. Once he hauls Maddix to his knees, Toxxic applies a front headscissors while pulling the rest of Maddix's body up into a doubled over position, hooking his arms around Maddix's waist. The crowd knows what's coming. Soapdish knows what's coming. Perhaps even Landon Maddix, with whatever knowledge of his surroundings he has, knows what's coming...

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

"Piledriver!" Comet again cries out.

 

As Maddix slumps from a vertical position back down to the canvas, Toxxic glances over at Maddix to be certain before pointing at him, casting his glare at Soapdish.

 

"He's OUT!" Toxxic growls, gesturing that the match should be all over. Soapdish looks rather confused and in response tells Toxxic to just pin Maddix and be done with. Which isn't the smartest thing to say. "I shouldn't HAVE to pin him, he's OUT!" the World Champion again snarls, the SWF's intrepid cameraman taking us right into the action. But Soapdish won't budge, so the champion frustratedly flips Maddix over onto his back and makes a nonchalant cover...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEE...

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOO!

 

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Maddix's shoulder snaps off of the canvas out of no more than instinct, Toxxic rolling his eyes as he hears the cheers sound out through the Xcel Center.

 

 

"HE'S NOT DEAD YET!"

*clap clap clapclapclap*

 

"HE'S NOT DEAD YET!"

*clap clap clapclapclap*

 

"HE'S NOT DEAD YET!"

*clap clap clapclapclap*

 

 

"This match should be over." Riley grumbles. "Maddix was clearly KOed."

 

"This isn't boxing Robert, this is professional wrestling." Comet counters. "Besides, if Citizen Maddix was knocked out, how did he kick out of the pin attempt."

 

"You know as well as I do that when you're in that ring, your opponent has a lateral press and you hear the referee's hand slapping the mat...even if you're dead to the world, instincts take over and your shoulder can come up time after time. And Toxxic knew that, which is why he wanted the KO win. Besides that...what better way to win than by KOing your opponent?"

 

"I'd imagine, if you're World Champion, you'd try to win any way you can." Comet answers, as Toxxic is strolling around the ring and trying to retain his composure.

 

"Sure." Riley quips. "But a KO win sends one hell of a message out to the world. It says that you not only beat your opponent, but beat him until he could not defend himself any longer!"

 

Sighing to himself, Toxxic knows he still has the match well in hand and goes back over to Maddix. Still the challenger is looking unaware of his surroundings in any way, still dead weight as Toxxic heaves him off the canvas. Toxxic has Maddix up finally, pushing the ICTV Champion off. The ropes change Maddix's momentum back towards Toxxic, La Cucaracha unable to do much more than simply stay on his feet now as he stumbles into a LEFT!

 

 

Maddix wobbles but somehow remains on his feet, so Toxxic follows up with a RIGHT!

 

 

LEFT!

 

 

RIGHT!

 

Looking deep into his opponent's glazed eyes, Toxxic waves the great British V-sign in the challenger's face. But at that moment, Maddix's equilibrium gives way on him and his legs crumple beneath him, causing him to flop to the canvas. As much as Toxxic would have liked the chance to discus clothesline Maddix's into oblivion, the fact his opponent can no longer stand is great consolation to him.

 

"Comet, if you wanted to leave then feel free." Riley chuckles. "This could become very hard to watch for those with nervous dispositions."

 

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

Toxxic could really not have asked for a better start to the match, his opponent lying unconscious at his feet and without taking much punishment himself...if any. Dropping down, Toxxic sends another basement dropkick into the side of Maddix's head. Toxxic follows up with a second basement dropkick across the same area of head and neck, before climbing back up. The champion has his challenger totally at his mercy as he now hooks Maddix under the armpit, pulling him up to his knees slowly but surely.

 

"I must admit, this is definately not the way I expected this match to go." Comet muses. "It seems the challenger is, dare I say it, in serious trouble already."

 

"The only question now is...does Toxxic put the kid out of his misery, or does he give the fans a bit more 'value for money' if you will." Riley snickers.

 

Bringing Maddix to his feet, Toxxic clubs the weary opponent across the shoulder blades with a forearm. Landon drops back to his knees, dragged to his feet with a handful of hair...and clubbed a second time. A second time Maddix drops in a daze, but is dragged up once more and this time European uppercutted backwards...

 

 

 

...and into the ropes, which hook Maddix's arms and in the process tie him up!

 

"As if Landon wasn't defenceless enough!" groans Comet.

 

Taking his sweet time over lining the challenger up, Toxxic pinpoints the exact spot on Maddix's head that he wants...before slamming his fist right into it, the blow jolting right through Maddix's body like a bolt of electricity!

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

Measuring the ICTV Champion again, Toxxic reels back...and fires off another right hand, that jolts the lifeless Maddix once more.

 

"I don't understand Toxxic's thinking here Robert." Comet says curiously as Toxxic lines up another right hand. "It's clear that Maddix is in bad enough condition for one big move. And it's clear one big move will end this match. Is Toxxic allowing personal issues to..."

 

"No no." Riley interjects. "Toxxic just wants to make certain, that's all."

 

Hitting a third right hand, Toxxic is finally ushered away by referee Soapdish and warned. Soapdish then walks over and unties Maddix's arms from the ropes, freeing him...but it doesn't seem that's much help. Toxxic strolls back over, brushing past Soapdish as he again measures Maddix and whips a European uppercut across the challenger's jaw-frame. Maddix is again held up only by the ropes, chest heaving back and forth as he tries to summon up some energy. Toxxic grabs La Cucaracha by the arm though, pulling him off the ropes before placing him head under Maddix's jaw, promptly sitting out with a jawbreaker. The move snaps Maddix's head back and up and again, Maddix falls back into the ropes, this time with his neck draped over the middle rope. Seeing this, Toxxic wastes little time in grabbing the top rope and slingshotting himself over the top, bringing his leg down...

 

 

 

...across the ring apron, as Maddix somehow manages to move his head!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

Bouncing off of the apron, Toxxic carries on falling and crashes to the thinly padded floor below awkwardly.

 

"And that will buy Citizen Maddix a little time!" Comet cries.

 

The crowd finally rise back to their feet with the sudden sense of a turn-around in the match. Toxxic is slowly pulling himself up on the outside, clearly frustrated at his mistake. As meanwhile, back in the ring, Maddix finally has enough wits about him to try and pull himself back up.

 

"Toxxic broke away from his slow, methodical offense gameplan for just mere seconds...and it may prove crucial." Comet adds, filling the time between the two men's recovery.

 

"Doubtful." Riley deadpans in response. "Let's face it, Maddix has been beaten from pillar to post all through this match. He's still ripe for the pickings."

 

Dragging himself back onto the apron, Toxxic rolls between top and middle ropes and takes a moment to shake off the pain in his hip, clearly not expecting Maddix...

 

 

*slap!*

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

...to catch him with a knifedge chop! But the punishment Maddix has taken has sapped his energy, meaning the chop doesn't have it's usual 'ZING'. Plus, Maddix makes the mistake of attending to his neck, leaving himself open for a boot to the gut from Toxxic and an elbow driven into the back of the neck. The Straight Edge Sensation pauses for a moment before clubbing Maddix across the neck again. But suddenly, Maddix pushes Toxxic back a step...

 

*slap!*

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

...and connects with another weak knifedge. Toxxic takes the shot in his stride though, booting Maddix again and quickly hooking both of Maddix's arms up behind his back!

 

"Oh boy...I think Maddix has just signed his own death warrant." Riley says with confidence, as Toxxic sets...

 

 

 

 

 

...swinging Maddix around...

 

 

...but one of the challenger's arms comes free in mid-swing, allowing Maddix to spin (or be spun, whatever) free of a face-first landing, instead hitting the mat with a less de-habilitating landing on his back. Toxxic stands back up cursing and starts to stomp away on the back of the challenger as he tries to get back up...before again scooping him up. Another double underhook follows. But this time, Maddix is prepared and manages to find the energy to lift his head up and eventually, Toxxic get flipped over with a thump. But Maddix drops to one knee before he can capitalise, allowing Toxxic to get back up again. He does so quickly, side-stepping himself in front of Maddix and double underhooking the arms again...

 

 

 

 

 

...swinging Maddix around...

 

 

 

 

...and HITTING the Toxxic Shock Syndrome!

 

"YES!" Riley shouts in glee. "It's OVER!"

 

"Citizen Maddix dodged two bullets, but he could not dodge the third..."

 

Toxxic turns Maddix's limp body over onto it's back and reaches forward, grabbing one of Maddix' legs for more leverage on the pin...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEE...

 

SHOULDERUP!!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

 

Toxxic looks astounded that Maddix could possibly kickout from the Syndrome after the offence he's taken. With quick glare at Soapdish, Toxxic slides to the side and hooks a leg in a tighter cover than the last...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT AGAIN!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

Now, Toxxic REALLY can't believe it. Angrily he pushes himself back up onto his feet and with his teeth clenched, the Straight Edge Sensation looks down at the ICTV Champion with destain.

 

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

The crowd are rallying behind the underdog champion once more with faint hope. Toxxic hears the chants but knows better than to let a bunch of fans get under his skin, shrugging off the chants as he beckons Maddix back to his feet. The challenger is desperately trying to get back up and get back in the fight, his equilibrium clearly not 100% though as he ends up facing the corner. Quickly Toxxic assesses the situation and rushes past Maddix, hooking his head in a 3/4 facelock on the way up the buckles. But Landon quickly grabs onto the ropes to avoid being Intoxxicated and, as Toxxic flips up and over the challenger...

 

 

*ching!*

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

...he lands crotched on Maddix's right leg!!!

 

"How's that for Intoxxication Robert?" bellows Comet.

 

"No, that's...that's not fair! That should be a disqualification, but that IDIOT Soapdish..."

 

"Doesn't agree with you?"

 

"Exactly!"

 

"Which somehow makes him an idiot?"

 

"...Exactly!"

 

As Maddix's leg is lowered away from the straight edge testicles of Toxxic, he remains frozen in the same position he landed in, clutching his groin. Meanwhile, the dazed challenger is slowly turning around. His turn seems to take an age but once Maddix finally gets around, he wastes little time in hooking up Toxxic and dropping across his spikey dome with a quick DDT!

 

 

Both Toxxic and Maddix end up flat on their back, as Soapdish looks down at both men, waving his hand over first Maddix's face and then Toxxic's in search of any signs of life...

 

 

"ONE!"

 

Before beginning a count on both men.

 

 

"TWO!"

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

As the count goes on, the crowd are now trying to awaken the challenger with their chants rather than just spur him on. But right now, all of Maddix's energy is elsewhere and he shows no signs of life.

 

 

"THREE!"

 

Soapdish takes a moment to check on both men again, seeing that Landon's eyes are both open now if a little glazed over. Meanwhile, Toxxic is awake too...

 

 

"FOUR!"

 

...and on four, his right arm shoots off of the canvas! Boos echo through the Xcel Center as the rest of Toxxic's body is slowly following his arm in coming off of the canvas.

 

 

"FIVE!"

 

Soapdish stops as Toxxic has reached his feet, noticing that Maddix is now using the ropes and turnbuckles to drag himself back up as well. So the referee backs away with a motion for the two men to continue battle, with Toxxic gladly doing so and jumping Maddix from behind. Clubbing the challenger repeatedly across the weakened neck until he drops back down to one knee once more, facing the corner still. Toxxic grabs Maddix by his straggling blond locks and hauls him back into a standing position, throwing him face-first into the turnbuckle. Toxxic does the same again, apparantly happy with using the low-risk offence once more. The turnbuckle colissions leave Maddix dazed yet again and allow Toxxic to turn his opponent around, for an irish whip. On the way though, Maddix manages a pirouhette before Toxxic can release him, countering the whip. Toxxic heads towards the turnbuckles, Role Reversing on Maddix as he leaps to the top rope...

 

 

...but Toxxic suddenly stops as he realises Maddix is still standing in the middle of the ring, trying to gain his bearings. The champion is growing more and more frustrated by the minute at the tumultitude of things not going his way, jumping off the ropes and charging head-long at Maddix, using his heart more than his head...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...RUNNING INTO SOME SWEET, CUCA MUSIC!!!

 

"HE GOT HIM!" Comet wails, bursting out his chair as many others around the arena do in unison. "That's what beat Sacred to get him here, and..."

 

 

Comet suddenly stops, as Maddix manages to drape an arm over Toxxic...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

NOCHANCE!!!

 

A firm kickout by Toxxic ends any thoughts of a sudden upset victory.

 

"'Oh, he got him'." sneers Riley. "Do you watch many Pay Per View main events Comet?"

 

Both men slowly clamber back to their feet, Maddix's head hanging limply to his side whilst Toxxic's arms are ready stretched, waiting for his prey to fall into his trap. Maddix staggers around to meet Toxxic, stepping back out of range of a European uppercut attempt before catching Toxxic in the back of the head with a forearm. Toxxic stumbles forward, using that to his advantage as he hits the ropes, Maddix wearily walking towards Toxxic as he bounces back. The Champion tumbles towards Maddix with a spinning heel kick attempt, but La Cucaracha is able to duck underneath the flying Brit. Toxxic bounces off the canvas, skidding to a halt by the opposite ropes while Maddix turns to measure the champion. Up stumbles Toxxic, hardly gaining his footing before Maddix runs in at his lost opponent. Instinctively Toxxic ducks his head with a backdrop over the ropes in mind. But Maddix is one step ahead and alters his run slightly to the right, giving him room to latch onto Toxxic's head in mid-run, kicking off of the canvas and dropping Toxxic with another DDT, this time of the running variety!

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

Toxxic's thorny hair does little to asbsorb the blow as he gets dropped on his head once more. Maddix is back up much quicker than before, the dis-orientating effects of Toxxic's offense wearing off slowly as the match wears on. But the other effects are still playing on Maddix it seems, as he stops to clutch his neck.

 

"I think Toxxic may be regretting not finishing off his challenger when he had the chance right now." Comet points out.

 

Using the ropes to haul himself off of the mat, Toxxic staggers out from the ropes...more aware than he's letting on as he tries to shock Maddix with a right hand. Maddix ducks, Toxxic turning around to eat a back elbow. Toxxic is now frozen on the spot as the challenger sprints to the ropes, coming back and leaping high into the air. In mid-air, Maddix pulls back his arm to full stretch capacity before whipping it back towards Toxxic's head. Toxxic ducks though, catching Maddix over his shoulder and charging him towards the turnbuckles! The impact hits Maddix like a ton of bricks and he's pulled out with his back arched in pain, Toxxic waiting...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...with a superkick!

 

"Great Scott..." drawls Comet. "Just when you count this ragabond champion out, he comes right back with a stinging shot like that!"

 

"Yes, he is amazing isn't he?" Riley replies, dreamy-eyed. "Infact, if it weren't for the hair and nails I'd be easily forgiven for mistaking him for Jesus himself!"

 

The force of the superkick causes Maddix to fall out through bottom and middle ropes, managing to break his fall slightly before he hits the floor with a bump. Toxxic meanwhile shakes his head from side to side, clearing away the effects of the DDTs before he exits the ring with Maddix locked in his crosshairs.

 

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

Once on the floor, Toxxic is met with more chants praising his opponent as he has been all night...but yet again, Toxxic has more important things on his mind. Namely, defending his World Title. Creeping up behind the slowly recovering Maddix, Toxxic waits for the half-Spaniard to regain a vertical base, before grabbing him from the side and whipping Landon...

 

 

*CHINK!*

 

...INTO THE BARRICADE!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Maddix takes the steel back-first at hellacious speed, the abrupt stop knocking him clear off his feet before he falls back against the railing. Some of the braver members of the front row reach over to pat Maddix on the shoulder and encourage him on. But they are quick to get out of the way as Toxxic charges towards Maddix, leaping towards him...AND DROPKICKING HIS HEAD BACK INTO THE BARRICADE!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

"This is certainly not where the challenger wants to take this match...out onto the floor!" Comet points out. "Although Toxxic is very much a goody-toe-shoes in the ring, the ringside area is his area of expertise."

 

"Exactly...he is a former Hardcore Champion after all." adds Riley.

 

Reaching down and pulling Maddix back up to his jelly like legs and feet, Toxxic backs Maddix against the barricade and holds his head back over the barricade to bend his neck back...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

...before lashing his hand across Maddix's chest with an open handed chop, lighting up the challenger to winces from those closest to him in the crowd. Soapdish is watching all this from the ring and hoping he won't have to resort to counting out the two men out. But neither Toxxic are paying attention to him, too busy exchanging right hands right now! Right after right is thrown between the two men, whipping the crowd into a frenzy in the process...although, quite unsurprisingly, it's Toxxic who's gaining the advantage. Toxxic begins to interchange with lefts and rights now as he has clear advantage...but Maddix is able to catch the Straight Edge Sensation into the gut with a knee, quickly grabbing Toxxic around the head to follow up and throwing him...

 

*CHINK!*

 

...face-first into the steel barricade, which almost collapses as Toxxic's 218 pounds falls into it. But it somehow holds out and Toxxic's body bounces off the steel, sending his bearings for a loop and allowing Maddix to grab the World Champion by the arm, irish whipping him the short distance towards the steel steps. Toxxic puts the brakes on though, avoiding another steel/flesh collision, quickly turning around as Maddix charges...

 

 

 

*CRAAAAASH!*

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

 

...AND GETS FLAPJACKED FACE-FIRST ACROSS THE VERY EDGE OF THE STEEL STEPS, MY GOD!

 

"Oh..." Comet looks for some sort of amusing quip, but cannot summon one.

 

Looking distinctly relieved with how things have now ended up, with Maddix down and hurt, Toxxic stumbles across the outside of the ring...and while Toxxic rolls into the ring, Landon Maddix stumbles away from the steps and begins to crawl across ringside. Only now, blood is pouring...and I mean POURING from Maddix's forehead.

 

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

The crowd sense that once again the ICTV Champion is in need of some vocal support and duly provide it, as he reaches up and uses the ropes to drag himself onto the apron. Toxxic sees Maddix slowly getting back up and as he notices the mass of blood that has already covered his forehead, Toxx smiles his lopsided smile once more. Moving in, Toxxic catches Maddix before he can fully get up onto the apron with a clubbing forearm, hooking him in a front facelock. With a pop of the hips, Toxxic brings La Cucaracha back in with a suplex, floating over with a cover...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

Maddix shoots a shoulder up but as soon as he does, Toxxic re-adjusts into the mount position and fires off a couple of quick right hands. In moves Soapdish, ready to warn Toxxic about the use of closed fists, but Toxxic stops just as Soapdish gets over.

 

"My word, that is a DEEP laceration on Citizen Maddix forehead." mumbles Comet with concern. "And with a wound like that, Maddix will likely continue to lose blood throughout this match until..."

 

"Until Toxxic puts him out of his misery!" Riley interjects.

 

Toxxic remains in the mount position, looking at the bleared eyed Maddix that lies beneath him and smiling widely as he assesses the damage done to Maddix's forehead. Another shot gets drilled into the forehead moments later, this time a perfectly legal forearm strike that Soapdish can do nothing about. Toxxic follows up with two more forearms, before standing back up and dragging Maddix up with him with a hold of his blood stained blond locks. Dropping to one knee, Maddix fires off a shot to the gut, but Toxxic slams his knee into Maddix's face to further dis-orientate him before backing off a step. The World Champion promptly steps back in, 'stepping' his boot right across Landon's face and dropping him to the mat once more.

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

The chants ring through the Xcel Center again, as Toxxic measures Maddix...before stopping and walking over to the corner. Exiting the ring, Toxxic quickly scales the ropes until he reaches the top, instantly springing off of the top rope and bringing a fistdrop square across the lacerated forehead of the challenger. Maddix quivers on the canvas from the pain of the blow, while Toxxic backs back into the corner, this time forgoing scaling the ropes and simply vaulting to the top in one fluid motion. Before, in one more fluid motion, Toxxic dives back off the ropes and connects with a second fistdrop. Around Maddix's head, blood is beginning stain the mat around his head, whilst Toxxic vaults once more, before springing away and hitting a third, this time twisting fit-drop! Toxxic gets right back up, thinking about a fourth...but instead, Toxxic drops back down and makes a pinfall attempt...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

TH...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Looking a little surprised at his opponent's continued resiliance, Toxxic gets back to his feet and again drags Maddix up with him by the hair. As the blood continues to cover Maddix's face at an alarming rate, Toxxic lets Maddix sit on his knees...before slapping him in the face!

 

"OOOOOOOOHHHHH!"

 

The blood-loss is already beginning to effect Maddix as he rocks back on his knees, unable to find the vigour inside of him to fight back as Toxxic paintbrushes Maddix with another humiliating slap across the face. Again, Maddix rocks back as Toxxic places his hand over Maddix's face and wipes down the side, smearing the challenger's blood across his face...and across Toxxic's hand. And as Toxxic pulls his hand away and sees his opponent's blood over his hand, he cannot help but smile while placing his hand on his chest, wiping Maddix's blood off onto his chest like some sort of sick badge of honour...

 

 

...but suddenly, Maddix springs from his knees and hooks Toxxic to the canvas with a schoolboy!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

Toxxic kicks out, rolling back to his feet instantly. He has to pause momentarily though as Maddix is slow to reach his feet. But once he does, Toxxic charges and tumbles behind Maddix with a schoolboy roll-up of his own...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

The bloody Maddix kicks out this time, landing on his feet. Both Landon and Toxxic reach their feet simultaneously and Toxxic takes the initiative with a charge, shoulder barging Maddix back into the corner before pulling him straight back out with an irish whip across the ring. Maddix thunders across the ring, unable to put the brakes on...

 

 

*CHINK!*

 

...as he careers sternum first into the turnbuckles!

 

"Wow, what velocity on that irish whip." enthuses Comet. "For such a...for the lack of a better word, small competitor, Toxxic possesses some impressive strength in that slender two hundred and eighteen pound frame of his."

 

As the wind is driven from his sails, quite literally (except for the sails, unless he's some sort of weird human/boat hybrid and we don't know about it), Landon Maddix staggers weakly backward from the corner. Toxxic meanwhile rushes past Maddix, leaping majestically to the middle rope before launching himself backwards and catching Maddix's FLUSH in the jaw with a leg lariat! Toxxic lands with all of his two hundred and eighteen pounds across Toxxic's head and neck, rolling off and back to his feet. Suddenly, the adrenaline seems to be flowing through the World Champion now. He can feel victory closing in and again, motions for Maddix to get back to his feet.

 

"Toxxic is setting himself for...maybe the Caffiene Bomb." Comet predicts. "We haven't seen Toxxic attempt that yet and the Intoxxication didn't work earlier..."

 

The challenger is back on his feet and is quickly hooked in a full nelson by the blood smeared World Heavyweight Champion, before Toxxic breaks into a run towards the corner. But Maddix has already countered the Intoxxication once and is able to do so again, pushing Toxxic off before he can begin scaling the buckles. Toxxic bounces off the turnbuckles sternum first as Maddix carries on his runs, bouncing off the near ropes and nailing Toxxic as he staggers backwards with a flying forearm! Down goes Toxxic, as the bloodied challenger begins to get back to his feet, only for another twinge in his head to pulse through him. So Maddix takes his chances, dropping an arm over Toxxic as he looks for an abrupt end to the match...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

TH...

 

 

SHOULDER UP!

 

Undettered, Maddix this time gets back to his feet and waits for the champion to recover, in a crouched position as he is set to uncoil. Toxxic pulls himself back up and stumbles across the ring, Maddix waiting for him with a quick boot to the gut. Over doubles the champion as Maddix reaches underneath Toxxic, looking to scoop him up onto the shoulder...

 

 

 

...Toxxic floats to the side however, hooking Maddix down to the canvas with a distinctly desperation clothesline as he lands. Away rolls Maddix, trying to create some distance between himself and his opponent, to no avail as Toxxic follows closely in stomping the challenger repeatedly across the upper body. Tactics which Soapdish doesn't seem to appreciate, making sure Toxxic is aware of his displeasure. Angrily Toxxic tells Soapdish to 'bugger off' before laying in some more stomps. But again, Soapdish tries to interject himself...so Toxxic pushes the referee out of his way...

 

 

*CHING!*

 

Which leaves Maddix free to do what he does best! Cheat!

 

"For crying out loud." groans Riley under his breath.

 

Toxxic doubles over, holding his tingling testicles, as from underneath him a hand hooks the waist of his Tripp trousers and pulls him down, throat first across the middle rope!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"Oh great..." Riley again groans.

 

"Well, it is the season of giving Robert...and I do believe, Landon Maddix has a special present for Toxxic this Christmas. It's just a shame that Toxxic is out of town..."

 

Twirling his finger to let everyone in the crowd know exactly what he's planning as he sprints across the ring.

 

"Oh well..."

 

Hitting the ropes, Maddix rebounds and charges towards Toxxic, whipping himself around the ropes with the 6...

 

 

 

 

0...

 

 

 

 

 

 

5!!!!

 

 

"...at least Landon can wish Toxxic, by way of a phonecall!"

 

"What the HELL are you blathering about!" snaps Riley as the World Champion slumps off of the ropes and to the mat. Groggily, Toxxic crawls away from the ropes and seeks the solace of the middle of the ring, whilst Maddix pulls himself back up on the apron. Blood is literally dripping off of the ICTV Champion's chin to the apron beneath his feet, staining the mat noticeably. But Maddix has to ignore that now as Toxxic is getting to his feet in the centre of the ring, stumbling around as he looks for Maddix. As Toxxic begins to turn, Landon leaps up from the apron to the top rope, springboarding into the ring...

 

 

 

...but Toxxic is well aware of Maddix's intentions, running underneath the airborne challenger and hitting the ropes. Maddix lands safely in the centre of the ring with little more than a wobble from the weakness his blood loss is causing, swinging with a back elbow as he can here Toxxic thundering up behind him. Toxxic ducks the elbow though, spinning to face Maddix and using his momentum to whip Maddix to the ropes now. As the challenger rebounds off the ropes, Toxxic thinks he's timed the ducking of his head perfectly. What he doesn't reckon on is Maddix sliding across the ring, soccer tackling him in the right shin!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

"HEY! HE CAN'T DO THAT!" wails Riley.

 

"I guess Landon Maddix's Spanish heritage involved a little soccer training!" Comet says, with GUSTO~!

 

As Toxxic's lower leg is propelled from underneath him, he drops to one knee...growling in pain as Maddix scrambles back to his feet and runs back to the ropes. Here comes Maddix, diving at Toxxic...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...WITH A SHINING WIZARD~! Maddix lands on top of Toxxic, hooking a leg desperately as Soapdish dives over for the cover!

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

 

 

 

NO!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

 

Toxxic is able to shoot up a shoulder at the very last second, much to the displeasure of the crowd. All Maddix can do is look at Soapdish with puppy dog, blood rimmed eyes and question the count...although deep down he knows, Toxxic kicked out fair and square. So Maddix drags himself back up once more, looking to the corner and hopping up to the middle turnbuckle.

 

"And now, Landon Maddix, with plans on a Crash Landon here." Comet observes. "And if he's able to hit it, you'd imagine that this match would be over!"

 

Now all Landon has to do is wait...

Edited December 23, 2004 by Chuck Woolery

[Chuck Woolery 0]

Toxxic gets back up and walks in a trance towards Maddix. A boot to the face greets Toxxic, before Maddix hooks Toxxic's head over his shoulder and makes ready to jump. But Toxxic is less dazed then he lets on, throwing forward forearm strikes deep into Maddix's gut with his free arm. Five, six...seven forearms are what it takes to free Toxxic from Maddix grip, at which point he reaches up and nails Maddix with a right hand across the temple.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

Maddix suddenly reaches down though, chopping Toxxic across the throat with the edge of his hand and taking his breath away. Blood is now dripping from Maddix's head onto Toxxic's head now, more souvenirs for the Straight Edge Sensation...

 

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

...as another knifedge rocks Toxxic...

 

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOO!"

 

...but Toxxic retaliates in kind! As Maddix teeters backwards he's in serious danger of falling to the ground below, before Toxxic reaches up and clamps Maddix into a front facelock. Some of the crowd read Toxxic's intentions before even his challenger does, as the World Champion hooks the leg of La Cucaracha!

 

"Caffiene Bomb!" Riley cries out gleefully, realising what's set to go down.

 

Toxxic doesn't see the need any Coke orientated gestures or motions, instead simply pulling Maddix off of the turnbuckle...

 

 

 

 

...but Maddix reaches out, clinging onto the top rope for dear life, knowing that a dose of Caffiene will do just the opposite of keeping him awake. Toxxic growls as he realises Maddix isn't going down the way he would like, trying again to spin Maddix into the move, but finding Maddix's grip too tight to break.

 

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

The crowd will Maddix to hang onto the ropes, hang onto his aspirations of winning the World Championship. And hang on he does, despite the blood loss...despite his fatigue...and despite the fact that he's hanging precariously over some instant head-droppage.

 

"This is deperation...personified!" gasps Comet. "Landon Maddix is just mere second from downfall if he lets go of this rope! And my Lord does he know it!"

 

Frustration is overtaking Toxxic as Maddix is hanging onto the rope like his only child dangling off a cliff, not realising despite pull after pull from Toxxic. Toxxic suddenly stops, breathing heavily in an attempt to summon all the energy he can, before heaving away with one... last... pull...

 

 

 

 

...and Maddix comes free...

 

 

 

 

 

...under his own power, floating over Toxxic in a calculated move and cradling Toxxic to the canvas!

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

"NO!"

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

"HE'S GOT HIM ROBERT..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Toxxic pushes off his shoulders to the despair of St Paul, scrambling back to his feet...as Maddix is doing the same. Both men meet, a forearm rocking Toxxic, before Toxxic retaliates with a European uppercut!

 

A forearm from Maddix!

 

A European uppercut from Toxxic!

 

 

...and Maddix freezes. His senses have been knocked out of loop once more and now Toxxic has the perfect opportunity to finish the match off, connecting with a boot before applying the 3/4 facelock once more.

 

"He's going for the Intoxxication...again?" questions Comet.

 

"Third time's the charm, baby!"

 

Toxxic runs towards the buckles and begins to run up the buckles...

 

 

 

...but only gets to the middle rope, before Maddix's arm clenches around Toxxic's throat, bringing the Straight Edge Sensation down across the top of his head with a diving reverse DDT! And no sooner has Maddix countered the Intoxxication again, Maddix suddenly turns Toxxic over onto his front and places Toxxic in the dragon clutch!

 

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

"LAND OF NOD!" the croaky voices superhero howls. "TOXXIC IS CAUGHT!"

 

Riley is dead silent as Toxxic is seemingly close enough to the ropes to carve himself an escape...

 

 

 

 

...UNTIL MADDIX WALKS OUT OF THE CORNER, INTO THE CENTRE OF THE RING!

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Another eruption of noise, masking the howls of pain from Toxxic. He's trapped but Toxxic isn't going to give up on his World Championship reign just yet. Maddix keeps on walking until he's suitably away from the ropes, finally sitting down across the base of Toxxic's back and leaning back with all the might that he has left after the battle he's been in!

 

"Toxxic is a LONG way away from the ropes, too far away to attempt a crawl realistically!" Comet runs down, having to call the match solo suddenly. "He HAS to find an escape. And if there was ever a need for someone to find some technical wrestling marvels, then THIS is IT!"

 

Toxxic's head is being arched back as close to the bottoms of his shoulder blades as Maddix can possibly manage. It's clear that Toxxic is in serious pain, but he won't give in!

 

 

"YOU GOTTA TAP!"

 

 

"YOU GOTTA TAP!"

 

 

"YOU GOTTA TAP!"

 

Ninenty three days. Ninenty three days and only Toxxic's will-power and straight edge conditioning can make it ninety four.

 

 

Victory is so close that Landon Maddix can taste it now, even through the mouthful of blood that he has. All Maddix has to do is hang on and eventually, Toxxic will have to give up...or he'll pass out.

 

But the trouble is, all this effort being expended by Maddix is far too much for his weakened frame. The blood loss. The head drops. The strikes. All are coming back to haunt Maddix now and his eyes are beginning to go bleary again. All of Maddix's body language is screaming 'About To Faint' right now...

 

 

 

"YOU GOTTA TAP!"

 

 

"YOU GOTTA TAP!"

 

 

"YOU GOTTA TAP!"

 

"Toxxic is hanging on! You have to admire the moxy of this plucky Brit...the never say die attitude!"

 

But Toxxic's eyes are bleary too. Toxxic too is on the verge of losing consciousness and all the Straight Edge Sensation can do is aimlessly shoot his arms out, looking in vain for ropes that are just not there...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*TAP TAP TAP!*

 

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

"IT'S OVER!!!!" screams Comet, ecstacy taking him over! "We have...a NEW World Heavyweight Champion!"

 

"No..." is all Riley can finally mumble, in pure disbelief.

 

"Toxxic had no choice but to give it up...and after ninety three days, Toxxic's title reign has been derailed...by Landon! La Cucaracha! Maddix!"

 

Releasing the Land Of Nod, Maddix collapses face-first into a pool of his own blood limply...with all the consciousness he has left, clenching his fists in ecstacy. The bell has sounded, inaudible over the roars of the fans in the Xcel Center. Down the aisle, Megan Skye is leading out Alan Clark and Todd Cortez, the threesome sliding into the ring and crawling over to Maddix. Meanwhile, Soapdish has the two belts.

 

 

"Your winner of the match...and the NEEEEEEEWWWW S W F Heavyweight... Champion... of the WORLD! LANDON... "LA CUCARACHA"... MAAAAAADDDIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!"

 

Elation has filled the air as Toxxic wearily looks up from his facedown position, despairingly watching as his Revolution Zero team-mates stroll dis-heartened down the aisleway. To his side, Landon Maddix is sat up and has the ICTV Championship over his right shoulder, where it has laid for some many days. But not tonight, as Megan switches it to his left shoulder...

 

 

...replacing it, with the World Title.

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

Tears are streaming down the new Champ's face, streaking through the blood that cakes his cheeks and smearing onto Megan Skye shoulders as she helps Maddix up and dives into his arms with an embrace.

 

Meanwhile, Cortez and Clark are watching closely, as Toxxic is being helped from the ring and carried out by the Revolution, Toxxic unable to take his eyes off of Maddix and his celebrations.

 

As they leave, Cortez and Clark walk back over to Maddix, Cortez embracing Maddix too before now, Clark and Maddix come face to face. The eight months of history. The past hatred. It matters not tonight, as Clark shakes Maddix's hand, only prolonging Maddix's waterworks. He's too exhausted to raise the belts himself. But nevermind, as Clark and Cortez raise Maddix onto their shoulders, high into the air to soak up the rapturous applause. Megan is crying now, as Maddix finds the energy to reach...and lift both belts. As meanwhile at the announce desk, Cyclone Comet is on his feet, applauding away with the crowd while Bobby Riley sits with head held in hands. There's no need for them to say anything. It's already been said.

 

 

Landon Maddix

 

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

 

 

 

 

 

 

So here's to a very Merry Christmas...and one HELL of an interesting New Year.

 

And thanks, to the SWF, for a crazy ride through 2004 as for the last time this year...

 

 

 

 

...we fade to black...