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Guest Ace309

Sjl metal may 8th comments thread

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Guest Suicide King

We're using this thread for the comments!  No others!  GOT IT?

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Yeah... ignore my comments thread. :-)


Even if it was psoted first...


Anyways, onto comments...


Whoa. I didn't see that coming.

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Guest Ace309

Fade in on the Drome, in Springfield, somewhere in the United States. The fans are whipped into a frenzy, still excited over the previous encounter and getting fired up for the main event. The camera catches excited fans holding signs such as "Tom Felcher," "Triple Ash" and "Who Better Than Misty? SYDNEY!" Finally, the camera swings over to the SmarkTron, where the SJL World Championship logo crashes onto the screen. Under it, the names "Superior One" and "Ash Ketchum" scroll in.


Axis: We're back with another exciting edition of SJL Metal, and already tonight we've seen lots of exciting action!


King: Well, I'm not sure I'd....


Edwin: And coming up next, we have a highly-anticipated SJL World Title match featuring the recently elevated Undercard King, Ash Ketchum, up against...


King: Up against the current SJL World Champion, the Superior One, Tom Flesher. This is hardly even going to be a defense. Flesher's just going to walk into the ring, and Ash will be overcome  by his sheer superiority and he'll tap out before the match even starts.


Axis: Come now. Ash has been working his way up through the undercard for the better part of his tenure here in the SJL. He's held the now-defunct IGNML Television Title, and he's been a part of the SJL Tag/Stables championship team on two separate occasions with X Force 9. He may not be the lock that Edwin seems to think he is, but he'll certainly provide a formidable challenge for the relatively inexperienced Flesher.


Edwin: So there!


Edwin thumbs his nose at King and razzes him with a pronounced "Thpppppppppppppt!"


King: *wipes face* Why I ought to....


Edwin: Shower more than once a week? Oh, we know. Believe me, we do.


King: I'm going to...


Edwin: START to shower more than once a week? Oh, I don't know about that. You say that every New Year's, and we all know how well that's turned out.


Axis: Oh, will you two PLEASE stop? Let's go to the ring.


Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall, and it's for the SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!


The crowd pops loudly for the World Title announcement, and the lights go out. Just then, the beginning of U2's "Elevation" begins to play, the part at the beginning pumping up the crowd as a waterfall of pyro flows over the SmarkTron. It shoots up in front of the entryway, blinding the fans with its pyric splendor. Just as the first words begin, the pyro fades out and a spotlight shines down on the stage. It illuminates Ash Ketchum, in a cocky pose. Next to him as always is Misty, her hands on her hips, smiling as Ash spins out of his pose and walks halfway down the ramp. He stops there and raises his right arm straight into the air, flashing his trademark split-finger victory sign! As he does, five blasts of red pyro shoot up from the stage in unison. Ash and Misty release themselves from their poses and walk down to ringside, slapping hands with the fans as their video plays.


Funyon: Making his way to the ring, the challenger... From the Pallet District in Tampa, Florida, and weighing in at a Snorlax-like 255 pounds... the challenger... He's got the PokeBalls to catch all the belts... Ash Ketchum!


Ash holds the ropes for Misty, then climbs into the ring and mounts the nearest turnbuckle. He takes his t-shirt off and tosses it to the crowd, where fans all scramble for it. He hops off the turnbuckle and awaits his opponent.


Funyon: And his opponent...


Again, the arena goes dark. Over the loudspeaker, the opening strains of the Doors' "Tell All The People" begin to play. A large X of pyro sprays out across the curtain, and as Jim Morrison sings the opening lyrics, Flesher steps through the curtain and falls into a kneeling double-biceps pose. The fans boo him as he reaches down to stroke his belt, then stands up and begins to strut confidently to the ring. When he enters the ring, he unstraps his belt and slings it over his shoulder, then stands expectantly in the center.


Funyon: From Buffalo, New York, and weighing in tonight at 213 pounds...


Flesher gives Funyon the evil eye.


Funyon: Yes, I know. Weighing in at 213 pounds, the Object of Your Affection and the Cause of Your Jealousy... the Inspiration for Cyclone Comet... One Heck of a Nice Guy, and Damn Good Looking, Too... Future Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America... The SJL World Champion... "The Superior One," Tom Flesher!


Flesher bows deeply as his name is announced, completely ignoring the fact that the fans are booing him at the top of their lungs. He drops to his knees and spreads the belt out in the center of the ring, then leans forward and kisses it in a manner not unlike that of the Pope kissing the ground of the country he visits. Gingerly, he picks the belt back up and hands it to referee Eddy Long, who holds it aloft and signals for the bell before handing it off to the timekeeper.




Flesher and Ash lock up in the center of the ring. Ash shoves Flesher backwards, sending Tom careening toward the corner in a backward roll. As the fans cheer, Flesher gets up, dusts himself off and walks back up to Ketchum, who outweighs him by over 40 pounds. They lock up again, and once again, Ash sends Tom flying into the corner with a flick of his wrists. Tom gets back up again, and walks back up to square off with Ash. Rather than lock up, though, Tom flips Ash off and backs away. Enraged, the trainer from Pallet Town stomps toward Flesher, who catches him off-guard with a palm strike to the jaw. Ash backs away, surprised, and Tom takes the opportunity to nail a quick dropkick to the knee.


King: Take that, you damn PokeFreak!


Axis: Flesher's certainly trying to use his speed to his advantage, but even so, that's going to take away from his style. Flesher's simply not a fast person.


King: What are you talking about? He's so agile!


Axis: Well, to take a burly guy like Ash out, he's going to have trouble using his usual array of suplexes and throws. Flesher's not exactly known for his blinding speed.


Edwin: Except in the sack! ZING!


Flesher backs off as Ketchum shakes out his knee. Once again, Ketchum comes at Flesher in an attempt to lock up, and Flesher dives down and dropkicks him in the left knee. He hits Ketchum with a shotei to the chest, but Ketchum isn't phased. He simply steps backwards with the impact, but Flesher chases him backwards with a superkick! Caught by surprise, Ash ducks, but can't avoid all the impact. He takes a glancing blow to the top of the head, but catches Flesher's leg as it comes down. He swings his leg around to trip Tom, but Tom jumps the leg as it comes toward him and nails another dropkick to the knee. With no balance and only one foot, however, this dropkick barely glances Ketchum's knee. Flesher falls to the mat, Ketchum still controlling the leg. Unsure what to do on the mat, Ketchum releases the leg and lets Flesher back to his feet.


Axis: Ketchum seems to know that it's too early in the match to go for a submission, so he's letting Flesher up so he can use his size advantage to crush Flesher's stamina.


King: Are you watching the same match I am? Ketchum's completely incompetent on the mat, and he just wants Flesher on his feet! Trust me, I know how these things work.


Edwin: You're not giving Ash nearly enough credit. He's been in this league for a long time, and he's got a lot of talent. It's only a matter of time until he wins the SJL World Title. I bet he takes it tonight.


Flesher falls into his amateur stance, doing his best to avoid contact with the monstrous Ketchum. Ash does his best to try to get Flesher to grapple, but Flesher dives out of the way each time. Finally, Tom shoots down to Ketchum's left leg with a single-leg takedown. He lifts Ketchum's leg and trips him backwards, then falls to the mat with an ankle lock. Ketchum writhes in pain at first, but immediately begins extending himself toward the ropes. He reaches out, almost reaching the bottom rope. The fans start a quick chant of "ASH! ASH! ASH!" as he tries to reach the ropes by lunging forward. Flesher attempts to pull Ash back, but Ash is just too heavy and too fresh, and he takes advantage of the moment of loosened pressure, lunging toward the ropes and finally grabbing the bottom. Long gives Flesher a quick count of "ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!" and Flesher complies by breaking the lock and dropping an elbow into the back of Ketchum's left knee.


Axis: As usual, Flesher's doing his best to keep the big man down on the mat. He knows his submission skills are... well, superior to Ash's.


King: His submission skills, his grappling skills, his aerial skills... Flesher's completely superior to Ash in every way, shape and form.


Edwin: Well, tell that to Ash, then, smart guy.


Ash gets to his feet and locks up with Flesher, then Irish-whips him to the ropes. As Flesher comes off the ropes, he ducks under Ash's arms, extended in hopes of catching Tom for a powerslam. Flesher continues running and bounces off the ropes. Ash turns around to prepare to catch him again, but much to his surprise, he's hit in the chest with a stiff Yakuza kick!


King: He'll have that Doc Marten imprint in his chest for weeks!


Axis: What a kick by Tom Flesher! He looks to have knocked the wind right out of Ash!


Flesher backs up and dives down again, hitting Ash's knee with yet another low dropkick! Finally, Ash collapses to the mat. Flesher grabs Ash's left foot and drops an elbow down onto the knee, wrenching it out of position. Ash cries out as Flesher makes impact, but as Flesher gets back to his feet, Ash boots him hard in the chest. Flesher recoils, but Ash kicks him again, sending him backwards. Ash pulls himself up to his feet and charges after Flesher, nailing him with a forearm smash! Flesher staggers backwards, but Ash grabs his arm and wrenches it, pulling him back. Ash nails Flesher with a palm strike and then a rising uppercut, sending Flesher crashing hard into the corner. Flesher collapses into a seated position, but almost immediately gets back to his feet. Ketchum blocks him into the corner and nails him with another forearm smash.


Edwin: Flesher's getting a taste of his own medicine! Ash hits him with a hard palm blow!


King: You blow, alright.


Edwin: It serves Flesher right, stealing the shotei like that.


King: What the hell are you talking about?


Edwin: I was the first one to use the shotei. Everyone's stealing it from me!


Axis: Um, Edwin... Jushin Lyger made the move famous.


Edwin: Well, if it's anyone but Lyger, they're stealing my move! Sound fair?


King: Nothing you do is fair, you jackass. If you were anywhere near fair, you wouldn't make Flesher deal with this rabble. You'd sell his contract right to Stubby, and let him take the belt with him.


Edwin: Come to think of it, it WOULD be nice to let Curry Man and that pantsless bastard deal with him....


Axis: Oh, will the two of you PLEASE watch the match?!


After rocking Flesher with another forearm, Ash pulls him out to center-ring and stands facing him. Ash throws Flesher's arm over his shoulder and goes for the PokeRap uranage, but Flesher blocks it by scissoring the leg! Ash tries again, but once more, Tom blocks it! Flesher spins out to the side and executes a quick and dirty Russian leg sweep, more as a way to break the hold than as an offensive maneuver. Ash doesn't hit the mat with any degree of discomfort, and both men get to their feet quickly. They square off, each looking angry and ready to go.


Axis: Neither man seems able to gain the upper hand tonight in this human game of chess.


King: Flesher just hasn't worn Ash down enough! Give him a chance to do his work!


Edwin: Oddly, the same thing King says to his ladyfriends each time he dates a new one!


King: What are you implying?


Edwin: Just that you're impotent.


King: EXCUSE me?!


Edwin: Why, did you have one of El Luchador Magnifico's tamales too? Boy, those things.... whew...


The two athletes meet in the center, and Ash takes the initiative to execute a textbook vertical suplex. Flesher hits hard on the mat, and Ash follows it up with a whip to the ropes. This time, he catches Flesher and nails him with a powerslam! Eddy Long counts









KICKOUT by Tom Flesher, who rolls to his stomach. Ash backs away and gets back to his feet, then grabs Flesher in a double-underhook position. He swings Flesher into the air and crashes him down across his knee in the Blastoise Backcracker! Flesher screams out loud as he's bent over Ash's knee. Ash covers him for









TH- NO! Flesher kicks out and, rather than belly out again, scoots to the outside for a breather. Eddy Long immediately begins counting.




Axis: Well, no sooner do I say no upper hand than Ash Ketchum starts to really take control of the match.


Edwin: Shows what you know, eh, Axis?


Axis: Well, really, I...


Edwin: I'm just kidding with you, big guy!


Axis: I appreciate...


Edwin: Is that okay? Do you mind that I like to kid with you?


Axis: Well, I'd rather...


Edwin: Oh, okay... I can see you don't like me anymore.


Axis: Edwin, I...


King: I can't believe I have to be seen in public with the two of you.


Edwin: I can't believe you have to be seen with us either. The poor viewers, having to look at you twice a week, every week!


King: Hey now, I'm one of the best-looking SWF World Champions ever!


Edwin: Yeah, but who's your competition? *pffft* Thugg?


As Long reaches "SEVEN!" Flesher slides back into the ring. Ash attempts to stomp him as he slides under the bottom rope, but Eddy Long blocks him off. He allows Flesher to get to his feet before he lets Ash attack. Almost immediately after, Ash attacks Flesher with an aggressive forearm smash. Flesher ducks, though, and spins out to Ash's side, executing another single-leg takedown. Flesher doesn't go for the ankle lock this time, though, instead opting to drop an elbow into the pit of Ash's left knee. He backs off, only to jump up and drop a diving headbutt into the small of Ash's back! With Ash's back spasming, Flesher gets back to his feet and jumps in the air, hammering the same spot with a double stomp! Ash rolls away and curls up, arching his back in pain. Flesher follows after him and attempts to punt him in the ribs, but Ash shrimps out around the leg and grabs it, swinging Flesher down to the mat. Trying to keep Flesher from booting him in the back, Ash pulls the leg in and attempts to pull himself back to his feet...


but Flesher grabs Ash's arm and pulls it up between his legs, then locks up a scissors hold around the head and shoulder!


King: Triangle choke by Tom Flesher! This is over! Eddy Long might as well stop the match right now!


Axis: I don't know about that. Flesher hasn't had good luck with this hold lately.


King: What are you talking about? He choked the hell out of Danny Williams last week!


Axis: Well, yes, but only after Williams pinned him by rolling the hold up and stacking Flesher's hips over his shoulders.


Edwin: Touche, jackass!


Ash, meanwhile, tries to do the exact counter that won Danny Williams the European Title, stacking Flesher up for a pin. Flesher, however, spins out and rolls onto his stomach, tightening the scissor lock and preventing the pin!


King: Touche that! Don't you know a king always beats a jackass?


Edwin: Yeah, you beat ass, alright.


Flesher continues to tighten the hold, but he neglects to check his ring positioning. In rolling, he brought himself closer to the ropes, and Ash takes advantage of the situation by hooking the bottom rope with his feet. Eddy Long gives Flesher the standard four-count, and the World Champion breaks the hold. He returns to the center of the ring, waiting for his burly opponent to join him. Ash gets to his feet and tries to shake off the cobwebs, only to have Flesher relentlessly attack his knee with dropkicks and regular kicks after he collapses back to the mat. Flesher continues booting Ash's left knee until Ash slides out of the ring for a break. Again, Long begins the count.




Ash tries to walk it off around ringside as Flesher strolls around the ring, waving at the fans. They boo him loudly, as always.




Flesher mounts a cornerpost to blow a kiss at a particularly cute young lady in the second row. Ash notices this, and quietly slides back into the ring. He sneaks up behind Flesher and drops to the mat. As Flesher jumps off the turnbuckle, Ash is lying in wait, and rolls him up!









TH- NO, Flesher kicks out and rolls to his feet! Clearly upset at Ketchum's offense, Flesher throws a stiff palm blow that Ash deflects and answers with a forearm. Flesher practically falls to the mat immediately. Ash yanks him back up to his feet and whips him to the ropes again. and as Flesher rebounds, Ash goes for a back body drop... but Flesher sees it coming and hooks Ketchum's arms! He spins out and attempts to lock into position for the Unprettier, but Ash powers out and counters it into a backslide! He takes Flesher forward for









NO, Flesher kicks out! He gets back up to his feet and quickly whips Ketchum to the ropes. As Ash rebounds, he takes to the air and hits Flesher with the PokeBall Press! They go to the mat and Ketchum hits Flesher with a series of mounted punches! Flesher gets his hands up and manages to deflect most of the impact, but before he can roll away, Ash nails him with one last haymaker! Flesher finally escapes to the outside as the fans start up a "KETCHUM! KETCHUM!" chant.


Edwin: Well Ash is certainly asserting his dominance here.


King: Now, how is that dominant? You tell me how that's dominant.


Axis: King, he just hit him with the PokeBall press and hammered him over and over again with right hands.


King: AND?! You expect me to believe that'll put Flesher down?


Flesher re-enters the ring, and once again, Eddy Long protects him from Ash's stomping until Flesher gets back to his feet. Ash steps back and hits Flesher with a hard hook kick, sending Flesher back to the mat. While Flesher lays on the mat, Ash mounts the turnbuckles.


Edwin: And here's where Ash really starts to shine! When he comes off the top, you know it's the beginning of the end!


King: Pfffft. So says the Carnie.


As Flesher starts to get to his feet, Ash jumps off the top rope and nails him in the back with a Rocket Launcher missile dropkick, sending him over the top and to the floor! Flesher gets to his feet, only to see Ketchum diving over the ropes at him with a flying leg lariat! Flesher sells a look of total terror, but at the last minute, just side-steps and leans on the guardrail, smirking as Ash hit the floor!


Axis: Ash may have taken bit too big of a risk there with that flying leg lariat.


Edwin: What a jerk!


King: Looks like sound strategy to me, Panda-boy.


Flesher smirks contentedly as Ketchum writhes in pain, then Flesher re-enters the ring. Eddy Long begins to count.




Ash is beginning to pull himself up on the guardrail.




Flesher leans on the ropes, grinning at the audience as they chant "ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE!" at him.




Ash is to his feet, but looking very groggy after hitting the concrete.




He staggers over to the apron.




Ash leans on the apron, taking a quick breather. Flesher tries to stomp him, but Eddy Long prevents the attack the same way that he protected Flesher.






Ash starts to climb in, finally rolling in at "EIGHT!" He pulls himself up on the ropes, only to have Flesher whip him to the opposite ropes almost immediately. As Ketchum rebounds, Flesher nails him with a jumping shotei to the jaw! Ketchum staggers backwards, and Flesher snags a quick low single-leg takedown. Ash hits the mat as Flesher rolls through into an ankle lock. Before he can cinch the hold, though, Ash kicks backwards and hits Flesher in the chest. Flesher staggers backwards, and Ash spins through to his feet just as Flesher regains his balance. He follows Flesher in and hits him with a forearm, then spins around for a jawbreaker. Flesher catches his arms, though, and when Ash tries to sit down, Flesher spins around and nails him with a loose but effective Unprettier! Flesher grabs his own head, stunned from the impact of the move, but Ash was caught completely by surprise and looks completely out of it.


King: Did you see that? Flesher's obviously been watching films!


Edwin: Of the non-Xtremely Old Lesbians variety as well, apparently.


King: Hey! No one can prove that was really his grandmother!


Axis: *sigh* Flesher counters Ash's sitdown jawbreaker with an Unprettier, but appears to have caught some of the impact himself, and he's still trying to shake off his own cobwebs as Misty does her best to revive Ash.


Flesher stomps around the ring, shaking his head and trying to regain his balance. Ash starts to stir as Misty strokes his face and tries to coax him back to his feet. As he slowly comes to, Flesher does the same, and as Ash starts to push himself up, Flesher runs over and nails him in the back with an elbowdrop! Ash falls back to the mat holding the small of his back, and Flesher tries to drag him back to the center of the ring. With Ketchum on his stomach, Flesher lifts the sore left leg up and drops another elbow, this one into the knee pit. He pulls the leg up once more and then drops down into an STF!


Axis: Beautifully executed STF by the World Champion.


King: STF. Ya know, that could stand for "Superior Tom Flesher."


Edwin: Or it could stand for "Suicide Trades Farts."


King: Now, really. That didn't even make any sense.


Edwin: Or "Suicide: a True Flake."


Axis: Edwin...


Edwin: Or even "Suicide: Truly a Fu-"


Axis: EDWIN!


Edwin: I'm sorry, Axis.


King: You sure are.


In the ring, Ash is trying to use his strength to push himself up off the mat as a way of relieving the pressure. Flesher tries to crank the hold, screaming, "TAP! COME ON, YOU POKEFREAK! TAP!!!" Ash, though, manages to roll the STF to the side and kick his leg free. Flesher tries to grab it and fall into an ankle lock, but Ash manages to follow him to his feet. Flesher tries to trip Ash, but Ash kicks the free leg out and nails Flesher with a frontflip enzuigiri! Flesher collapses to the mat as Ash pulls the trapped leg out, then yanks Flesher back up to his feet. He hits Tom with a snap suplex, then runs to the ropes. Ash somersaults and, when he rolls to his feet, vaults up and hits a rolling Five-Star Frog Splash! He lands on Flesher and looks expectantly at Eddy Long, who stays on his feet and refuses to count. When Ash angrily slaps the mat three times, Long calmly points to the bottom rope, over which Flesher's foot is draped. Ash gets to his feet and drags Flesher to the center of the ring, where he covers him again.









TH- NO! Flesher kicks out!


Axis: Ash probably could have gotten the pin after the rolling frog splash, but due to Flesher's ring awareness and the lack of a serious cover once he pulled Tom to center ring, the match will continue.


King: Flesher always knows exactly what's going on, Axis. I can tell already, he's going to be an SWF World Champion just like me. I love this guy!


Edwin: Love him love him, or LOVE him love him?


King: Hey! What are you trying to do to my reputation here?!


Edwin: The same thing you did to your diapers the other day, Clueless King... soil it.


Flesher slides out and both men get to their feet, Flesher still favoring his ribs. Ash charges at Flesher with a running clothesline, but Flesher ducks it and Ketchum runs sternum-first into the corner! As Ash bounces back slightly, Flesher starts stomping in time to the fans' chant of "ASH! ASH! ASH!"


King: He's warming up the band!


Edwin: What the hell does that mean, anyway?


Ash staggers out of the corner and turns around, only to be smacked in the jaw with a Tom Flesher superkick! Ash staggers backwards again and hits the corner hard. Flesher locks up a front facelock on Ash and attempts to lift him up for a brainbuster, but can't do it. Once again, he tries, but Ash is able to sink his hips down and keep Flesher from getting his 255-pound frame off the mat. Finally, Ash stands all the way up and locks Flesher into the Bind guillotine choke! Flesher pushes off of the mat on his toes and tries to force Ash off-balance, eventually settling in and driving Ash into the corner to loosen the pressure. Ash spins around, loosening the hold and pointing Flesher's head toward the center. Again, Flesher tries to drive forward to ease the pressure, but Ash rolls into a DDT! Flesher flips over onto his back and Ash covers him. Eddy Long counts









THR- NO!!!! Flesher gets his shoulder up! The fans break into a loud chorus of boos as Ash gets up and stomps off angrily, unbelievably pissed off that he can't seem to get the pin over Flesher.


Axis: Ash Ketchum seems to be having more trouble than he'd anticipated with the World Champion tonight.


King: Of course he is! We're talking about Tom Flesher here!


Edwin: Actually, King, I believe we were talking about Ash Ketchum. You see, if one were to diagram the sentence... well, let me get my whiteboard.


Axis: Pull out the whiteboard and you'll be wearing it as a necklace.


Edwin: Geez, Axis, I'm just trying to have some fun here.


Flesher starts to get to his feet as Ash leans over the top rope, talking to Misty. Flesher takes the opportunity to regain his bearings and Ash does his best to regain his focus. Misty can be heard to tell him, "Come on, Ash, just keep the pressure on just like a Weepinbell using a Wrap attack." Flesher leans in his corner and slumps down. Ash turns around and sees Flesher in this position, and his eyes light up. He charges in at Flesher with a running forearm smash, but Flesher props himself up on the ropes and nails Ash with a Yakuza kick to the face! Ash stumbles backwards, and again, Flesher follows him out with a running palm strike to the jaw! Ash starts to look off-balance, and Flesher takes advantage of the scenario by hitting him with a flurry of palm strikes culminating in a hard double-leg tackle! Ash falls to the mat, and Flesher follows through into a Boston crab! he sits back as far as he can, with the PokeFreak doing his best to keep Flesher from getting a good angle on the hold.


Axis: I might question Flesher's wisdom, going for the Boston crab here. He hasn't done anything in particular to target Ash's back, and Ash is just so strong that the hold may not be very effective.


King: Au contraire, Gizzard of Oz. Flesher's a submission master who's spent the whole match generally fatiguing Ash. He's likely to get the submission with any hold he applies, at this point.


Edwin: You should listen to Suicide. He knows plenty about this stuff, especially crabs of all varieties and forms.


Ash tries to stiffen his legs, but Flesher sits back further on his back each time. Ash continues to try to break the hold, without much success.


Axis: Once again, Flesher's ring awareness is showing through. He made sure to apply that hold right in the center of the ring, where Ash will have a hard time getting to the ropes.


Edwin: He's also got Ash folded in half, quite painfully I might add (Ouch!)


King: All part of the plan, boys, all part of the plan.


In the ring, Flesher has gotten back to such a high angle that it seems imminent that Ash is going to tap at any moment. Instead of tapping, though, Ash reaches back and grabs Flesher's left leg, yanking the ankle out of position! Surprised and hurt, Flesher releases the crab to try and save his ankle. Ash rolls through, reversing Flesher to his stomach and coming out on top. Flesher lunges for the ropes, but doesn't make it there in time. Less than a foot away from the ropes, Ash Ketchum falls down on top of Flesher in a stepover toehold. He reaches under Flesher's 18-inch neck and locks up a dragon sleeper, completing the Total Nightmare submission! The fans start to chant "TAP! TAP! TAP!" as Ash cranks the hold, but Flesher reaches out and almost grabs the ropes. Ash tries to tighten the hold, but he's unable to keep Flesher from reaching the ropes on his second try! Ash holds onto the dragon sleeper all through Eddy Long's four-cont, finally releasing it and looking absolutely crestfallen.


Axis: And yet again, the ring saves Flesher!


Edwin: Oh, Ash can't be happy about this. He gets more and more irritated every time Flesher manages to escape a predicament like that.


King: All part of the plan, you Limey bastard. Ash is getting sloppier with every passing moment. Haven't you ever heard of the rope-a-dope? Well, let me tell you, Ash is the very dope that the rope-a-dope was created for!


Flesher holds on to the ropes as he gets back up. Ash tries to kick him several times, but each time, Eddy Long stops the assault because Flesher is still holding onto the ropes. As Long is pushing Ash backwards the final time, Flesher throws a high superkick, nailing Ash in the jaw and sending him collapsing to the mat. Flesher dives on top of him, and Long counts









but Ash kicks out! Flesher lets Ash back to his feet and then spins behind, locking his hands around Ash's waist ad attempting a German suplex. Ash resists, though, and rather than get caught on his back, Flesher releases the waistlock. He reaches up and hooks Ketchum's arms, then spins out into the Unprettier position. He kicks his legs out, sending Ash's face crashing into the mat, this time without impact on Flesher's head. Flesher rolls Ash over to his back and covers him nonchalantly for









TH- NO! Ash kicks out forcefully! This time, Flesher's looking irritated, as he seemed sure that the Unprettier would put his PokeVersary down. Ash gets groggily back to his feet and Flesher comes in behind him and locks up a waistlock, throwing Ketchum backwards with a vicious backdrop driver! Flesher gets to his feet and flexes for the crowd as they shower him with boos.


King: You hear that whistle in the background?


Axis: *sigh* No, Suicide, I don't. What is it?


King: It's the Head Trauma Express, coming in to claim another victim! Bwahahahaha!


Flesher hears the crowd giving him heat and, as usual, interprets it to mean that they love him. He drops to his knees and flexes one arm, then the other, playing to the crowd. Meanwhile, Ash is flat on his stomach, barely breathing.


Axis: God, Ash's neck may be broken!


Edwin: I wouldn't go that far... he's obviously hurt, but Flesher's not doing much to take advantage of the situation.


In the ring, Flesher dusts off his hands in a self-satisfied manner, then finally turns around and rolls Ash's prone corpse onto its back. he sets one Doc Marten firmly on Ash's chest and flexes his left biceps. Eddy Long counts









THREE- NO!!!!!!! Ash somehow has the presence of mind to lift his shoulder up! Flesher looks shocked! He pulls Ash back to his feet and attempts to Irish-whip him into the corner...


but Ash reverses the whip! Flesher hits the corner hard! Ash staggers over to the corner, still groggy from the vicious backdrop driver, and locks Flesher into a loose front facelock, going for another Bind. Flesher reaches up to grab Ash's head, and Ash bails to go for a simple vertical suplex instead. he lifts Flesher, but Tom hooks his legs under the top rope to stop the overhead motion. Ash tries to suplex him over again, but once again, Tom stops the motion by hooking his legs under the top rope! Sitting motionless, Flesher takes advantage of a moment of relaxation by Ash and nails him in the temple with a stiff right-handed palm blow, then mounts the top rope. Without a moment's hesitation, Flesher dives off the top rope, then swings to the center of the ring before planting Ash's head firmly into the mat with the Spin Cycle! Ash lands hard on his head then flips straight over onto his back. Flesher rolls on top of the barely-breathing PokeFreak and lifts his head up. Eddy Long drops to the mat and counts















Axis: And in the end, Flesher's ring awareness wins him the match!


King: Ash got greedy, trying to go for the Bind again that close to the corner! What did I tell you about him? He's an idiot!


Funyon: Your winner... and STILL The SJL World Champion.... "The Superior One," Tom Flesher!!!!!


Eddy Long hands Flesher the SJL World Title belt. He raises Flesher's left arm, and Flesher holds the belt aloft with his right arm. "Tell All The People" begins to blare over the PA, and the fans boo at the top of their lungs. Ash rolls out of the ring holding his head, and Misty is there to meet him. She helps Ash to his feet, and the fallen XF9 duo walks disappointed to the back. Flesher celebrates in the ring, once again laying the belt out in the center of the ring and bending down to kiss it.


Axis: What a disgusting display of self-serving egotism!


King: I love it!


Flesher leans down and kisses the belt again, with fans beginning to shower him with garbage.


Axis: We'll see you next time on SJL Crimson.


We see Flesher kissing his belt. The ring fills up with plastic cups, and that's the last image before we...



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Guest Suicide King

A very good show.  I am well-pleased.


Congrats to Ash of course, but notable praise to Flesher, who made my job very difficult!  In return for giving me a migraine, Flesher gets a rematch in one week's time complete with a stipulation of HIS choosing, which will be announced in promo form at the end of Crimson.  You'll see that on the card once I post it later...

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Guest Insanityman

Well... Ash winning... was unexpected to say the least. No offense and kudos to you Ash. The rest of the show was pretty decent. Got a win, and I didn't even write! *dances*. Congrats to the new champ Tod, and I'm finishing up reading the rest of the show.



Should be a fablous Crimson.

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Guest ErekT2k

Bah King, you just spoiled another story. FOR SHAME!


Anyways, a great show and instead of lots of noshows, it was lots of matches that went over the limit! :D


Shows how much people love writing! WHOO!


Go Ash, you finally won it!! But of course, winning it is one thing, keeping it is another.


Good luck on keeping it.

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I did like Flesher's match considerably but I'm not gonna turn this to a question the marker thingy...


Just wait until the rematch.


C.0. "Not letting anything overboil" B.

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Guest Suicide King

I would remind everyone that match markers are human, we each look for different things, and we each like different things.  Both men wrote great matches.  It was hard for me.  If you question my decision, which you have every right to do, do so in PM form.  If you think I am guilty of blatant favoritism, PM Edwin or crusen and they will investigate, and if they agree I will undoubtedly be removed as a marker and booker.  IF you post again that Ash didn't deserve to win, which is blatantly false, you will never see an end to the bra and panties matches you are booked in  Got it?  It isn't fair to Ash, or anyone else for that matter.


Frankly I think back to the countless times I've graded Ash's matches as losers and the handful of times I've graded Flesher's as winners, and I don't think that this particular time I made a wrong call.  Ash upped his game considerably.  He deserves this win.


Am I saying Ash is better than Flesher?  No. If you honestly asked me I think Flesher is a more consistently good writer than Ash, but tonight, as often happens, was an exception. I suggest those who doubt grow up and deal.  You are entitled to your opinion of course, but stop whining.


I understand I am taking this personally, because I really enjoy working with you JLers.  Thus, I am now willing to let the matter drop.


And to Xero.  You come to me asking for writing advice, which I freely give to you as to all others, and then you say right out that my decision was wrong.  Well, a hearty fuck you, too.

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Guest TheBostonStrangler

King, I haven't read the matches, but I have faith in you. You've been marking for a while, and if you say Ash won, then Ash won. The rematch is gonna be a LOT of fun, that's all I can say.

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Guest Ace309

What he said. If anyone should be upset about the decision, it should be me, not any of you. Since I choose not to make a big deal about it, I wish you wouldn't, either.


Since I didn't get my comments on my own match in, I'll take this opportunity to offer them in what I hope will be taken as a levelheaded manner.


I thought the finish was more than ridiculous. Coming back from a German over the top AND a gutwrench piledriver only to hit a flying move that requires a high degree of precision seems like a very unrealistic finish to me. But if King liked it better, then King liked it better.


I don't know why I lost, and apparently, it was close enough that it came down to feel. If it came down to feel, then there's nothing to question.


In Greco, we have something called a judgment call. In the center, when I referee, I have to use the phrase a lot. It's what happens when I have to decide in an eyelash of a second whether Blue's back broke 90 degrees or whether Red used a leg to gain an advantage. I hate... HATE it when coaches question my judgment calls, and I bet King hates it when you're questioning his.


King, I appreciate the opportunity for a rematch.

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I would remind everyone that match markers are human, we each look for different things, and we each like different things.  Both men wrote great matches.  It was hard for me.  If you question my decision, which you have every right to do, do so in PM form.  If you think I am guilty of blatant favoritism, PM Edwin or crusen and they will investigate, and if they agree I will undoubtedly be removed as a marker and booker.  IF you post again that Ash didn't deserve to win, which is blatantly false, you will never see an end to the bra and panties matches you are booked in  Got it?  It isn't fair to Ash, or anyone else for that matter.

Whoa!  Don't take offense.  This isn't really as big as it's thought to be.  If anything's wrong it will be corrected at the rematch.  End o' story.


Also, I would like to give props to Tod and his Euro title win.  I'd hate for that to be overshadowed by this ...'event'.

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Guest ErekT2k

First off, I *also* have to stand by King's decision. Why? Look at me. I could not have been the longest JL European Champion without King's help. I could not have been the JL World Champion for a month without King's help. And I sure as hell could not have beaten ELM without King's help. King offers hearty advice, great advice, and I followed it. My pay? I won the LHW title. That's how much faith I have in King.


Me? I can't believe it myself too but it's in front of my eyes. So let's stop the controversy and start stuffing our mouths with tacos and the such! WHOO!!






...and I'll see you afterschool.... *crunches fists*

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I just saw this...


"Singles Match

Scott Reid vs. "The Franchise" Mak Francis

- A great first effort from two guys that came down to a word limit DQ.  Reid wins.  In the future, Mak, try not to go one thousand words over the prescribed word limit, eh? ;)"


...and WHAT? Could Mak post his match.  Sad to win by word count.  I REALLY liked my match.


More later...

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Guest Suicide King

I appreciate the comments supporting me.


That said I am currently too angry, for what I recognize as an inadequate reason, to fairly make a card. I have PMed Edwin all of the info you all gave me, and he will be making the card for Crimson.

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Guest realitycheck

For whatever it's worth, I'll just also add that I stand by King in his decision. Why? He's the match marker. He's a two time world champ. He's beaten more people than some of us will even face. I'd say that that justifies him just a *little* bit more in whatever decision he makes as to what is and what isn't a better match. On top of that, he's a nice guy who always puts up with our 9hr. extension requests. Huh? Oh, only I ask for those? ...well, there you go.


Moving right along, I'd like to congratulate Ash on his victory! This came right outa left field, for me anyway. Because, if you want the honest truth, I think you're a bit of a choker, Ash. But, damnit, you couldn't of shaken that label at a better time! Hold on to that title for a while.


Also, congratulations to Tod for taking the Euro! Man, that thing is getting passed around more than Missy Hyatte, isn't it?


And as a quick note, congratulations to Flexxx for taking me in a great match! My match was pretty bad by my personal standards, even with the 100 words over, so hopefuly we can face again. At which point I will completely cream you. ;) Also Kudos on the fact that you made me look EXTRA credible. I thought it was the heel who was always supposed to control the match, hm...


Nice debut for the n00b, by the way. I'll make sure to read, not skim, this show. (Yeah, that's what I'm saying now...)


Note to Erek: Four O'clock by the flagpole, then? I'll set out the tea and cyanide.



also, tiny, tiny condolences to tom for losing. loser ;)

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Guest Insane Clown Dan

I am both disappointed on one hand, yet pleased on the other hand, about Ash's huge victory. It sorta made things fall into place.


And Ash's win... well, I feel he did deserve it, don't get me wrong... but all of us reserve the right to constructive criticism, and I feel your match was ridiculous Ash. No offense or anything, but can't you ever write a truly serious piece of gold? :)


That is, 24k gold. Not that cheap fake stuff that gets guys bitched at when their cover's blown... er, oops...


EDIT : Oh, and Z... that was me, rushing. If i had more than enough time to write, you would be this bloody pile of flesh on the floor.


And then I would take you in as a pet blob of bloody flesh, and call you Bob... why? I dunno. I have problems. But c'mon... it'd be cute! You could have your own hamster cage, with a spinny wheel and a salt lick!


(P.S. you still rule Z. Not like you didnt know that, but whatever)

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Guest ErekT2k

To Z: No toxic chemicals! Adn no syrup with feathers! Only fists. And don't bring Ced.

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom

Bah, I lost. Oy vey.....I guess.


Oh well, it wasn't an earth-shattering match anyway. I'm not gonna ANNOYINGLY (looks at Tom) post my losing match here, but I think the main reason it lost was because it had TOO much (bad) humor at the beginning, and then practically NONE during the actual match. I mean, you gotta spread the gags out a bit, no? Anyhoo, I suck, big whoop.


Edit: Oh, and by the way, I believe that it's spelled 'kwyjibo,' not 'Quijibo.' This has been a VERY picky Simpsons fan, signing off.

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom

Ok, well,  thought it over, and I'm going to post my match. So here it is, in all of its glorious glory, or, um, pile of crap. I thought it was decent, but for the reasons mentioned above, since I wrote most of it at like 2 in the morning, it's certainly not my best. Anyhoo, questions/comments/insults are openly suggested, so read away, and then flame away....


The camera pans the outside of the Drome arena, as a Titanatron out front flashes in gold lettering: “SJL Metal LIVE on May 8th! SOLD OUT!” and, “Simpson’s On Ice: The Musical, May 9th Tickets On Sale!” Inside, the crowd cheers wildly, while several spelling-error-manifested signs dot the audience. The screen scales the entire crowd, from the rich snobs in the front to the hobos up in the nosebleeds, until it finally stops short on the trivial trio. Each commentator is reading a magazine of their choice, Axis with “The Oxford Journal,” Edwin with “Panda Digest,” and King chuckling at an issue of “MAD.” The three look up, noticing the camera.


Axis: “Hello ladies and gentlemen, we’re back live with this week’s episode of SJL Metal! We’ve already witnessed a load of crap…er…some fantastic bouts including such high status wrestlers like Mafia, Scott Reid, and Cutthroat, but now we’re ready to begin a match more spectacular than anything we’ve witnessed so far! Taylor Nicholas Thompson vs. Frost!”

King: “Brrrrrr…it sure is chilly here in Springfield, Parts Unknown, which creates the perfect setting for Frost to pull out an easy win! Frost has been tearing it up in the SJL as of late; whereas TNT has weaseled his way out of several sure losses against the likes of Vanguard, Jack the Ripper, and even Tod deKindes. I have to hand it to Taylor though, he managed to not get pinned ONCE until last Metal when he was promptly put in his place by my heroes, XF9.”

Edwin: “Funny, I distinctly recall you verbally blasting XF9 on several occasions before and after last Wednesday.”

King: “I’m only their fan when they’re beating TNT, otherwise, they suck their own ‘millimeter Peter’s.”

Axis: “Yes, we commentator’s are so very interesting, yeah, Funyon.”

Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, and Suicide King, (King scowls from ringside) this contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the #1 contendership for the SJL European Title! Making his way down the aisle, hailing from Anaheim, California, weighing in at an explosive 267 pounds, ‘TNT’ Taylor Nicholas Thompson!”


The crowd pops like a cherry as AC/DC’s “TNT” blares from the speakers. As the introduction of the song begins, TNT very slowly saunters down the ramp with a noticeable lack of pyro. Just as the song’s course ends and “Watch me explooooooooddddeee!!!!!” is heard by the audience, what seems like hundreds of white and silver flairs are triggered consecutively as Taylor becomes livelier and seemingly walks to the beat of the music. Taylor strides confidentially from ring-post to ring-post, letting out an echoing “KABOOM!” at each corner to the amusement of the fans.


Edwin: “TNT looks as pumped as King’s blowup doll for what is sure to be one hell of a match!”

King: “Hehe, good one Eddie Mac, I feel sorry for whoever go burned by that insult. (thinks over the whole situation, only to suddenly smack Edwin on the back of the head) Hey!”

Axis: “Don’t let his fun-and-games antics fool you however, as TNT can become as horrid and viscous inside the ring as the current season of SNL!”

Edwin: “Amen to that. Saturday Night just hasn’t been the same since Joe Piscopo left in ’84.”

King: “Piscopo blew as much as you did up in the office in order to become commissioner.”

Edwin: “Hey, that was just a rumor.”

King: “Oh yeah, like you could get such a high spot in the leagues without playing a few rounds of “Swallow the Leader.”

Axis: “Would you two just shut the fuck up?! (the two quarrelers leap back in shock, staring at Axis) Ahem. The stakes are high for this match, as whoever wins will go on to wrestle the European champion for some gold on the next Crimson.”

King: “Pfft. Lousy European title. SWF World Champion, now THAT’s when you know you don’t suck.”

Edwin: “Oh King, stop being a playa hata. For all I care you can eat my…”


Edwin’s incoherent slur of insults are intervened as the opening tunes of “Cities on Flame with Rock ‘n Roll” by the Blue Oyster Cult hit the speakers.


Funyon: “Introducing, hailing from some cold place I can’t pronounce located in Iceland, weighing in at a frigid 296 pounds, Froooooooooooooooooooooooossssssssssssssssssst!!!!!!!”


The arena darkens slightly as Frost slumps down to the ring, raising one arm as he is run down by a freight-train of boos. A full can of Coca-Cola plummets from the rafters above, soaking is bare and brutally scarred upper torso, which contains his usual three scars, along with several smaller gashes dotting his body from his “Window Pain” matchup on the previous show. Frost ascends to the ring apron, paces back and forth a few times, and enters the ring, shooting a cold and glassy-eyed glare at the explosive one.


Axis: “Look at that abominable snowman! He’s proved himself to be a monster several times before here in the Smarks Junior Leagues, but never has committed such a hideous crime as on Crimson, when he Tombstone-piledrove T-Bone off of a ladder, outside of the ring, through a fucking sheet of glass! I mean, fuck!”

Edwin: “Yes indeedy, certainly an act of treachery.”

King: “Oh come on, the Boner had it coming to him. When you stop Frost from force-feeding Vanguard broken glass, you’re in trouble.”

Axis: “Well, either way, let the games begin!”




Both combatants come revving out of their designated corners, staring eachother down. The duo stands nose to nose, with Frost larger by a mere inch. Suddenly, with a burst of energy, Taylor sprints to the ropes, reverberates off of them, and comes back with a stiff flying forearm, not moving Frosty even a fraction of an inch. TNT follows up with yet another forearm, with the similar effect, or lack there of, on the immovable hulk that is Frost. Another bounce, but this time, TNT comes back with a swift knee-lift to the jaw! Frost stumbles back a little, holding his chin, cursing himself. Lockup #1 ensues, with neither man gaining any clear advantage. Frost, the stronger of the two, begins to gains some momentum, but just as he does he is taken down by a snapmare! Both men quickly kip to their feet once more, for lockup #2. Again, Frost uses his power to his advantage, backing Taylor into a corner. TNT reverses however with a drop toehold that sends Frost’s neck snapping against the stiff ring ropes.


Edwin: “Wowza! The tension here could be cut with a knife! A butter-knife, but a knife nonetheless.”

Axis: “Both men are keeping a slow, methodical pace to begin the match as to not wear themselves out, but the end result is that neither of the two is gaining any clear advantage!”

King: “You know, one time when I came home hammered after an after-show party, my dog Bippo told me, “The first to win is the first to exceed the other.” Oh yeah, and “Edwin sucks.”

Edwin: “What? Bippo? Dog?”

Axis: “I think what King was trying to say is that the first person to hit a big move in this match has a good chance of keeping the advantage and eventually scoring the big ‘W,’ and go on to face the European champion. But who will it be? Tod deKindes or Danny Williams?”

King: “Oh please. Like Tod even has the slightest chance of actually winning.”

Edwin: “Hey. Don’t count your eggs until the fat lady sings. Wait, that’s not right…”


Frost stands erect once more, and if he is pained at all, he doesn’t show it, as his face remains completely emotionless. The adversaries again stare eachother down, but this eerily peaceful state is suddenly broken up by Frost, who unleashes a flurry or rights to the brow of TNT! Taylor staggers back into the ropes, and comes back with some offence of his own! After a little fisting (and I mean PUNCHING, in case some of you sick weirdoes took that the wrong way,) an Irish-whip exchange takes place, with Frost gaining the upper hand, as he plummets Taylor down to the mat with an Ice Shelf!


King: “Uranage!”

Edwin: “Rock Bottom!”

Axis: “Actually, it’s called an Ice Shelf.”

Edwin: “Now, explain to me again why all wrestling moves can’t just called slam #1, slam #2, slam #3.”

Axis: “Ugh, Edwin, it’s to give each move distinction.”

King: “Speaking of distinction, I remember when I was SWF Champion, and Edwin wasn’t, I used to always…”

Edwin: “Is this going to end with you saying, ‘I’m better than everyone?”

King: “Why, yes.”


Frost pries Taylor’s dazed corpse off of the unforgiving mat, only to drive him back down to where he came from with a viscous back breaker! However, Frost doesn’t let go of TNT, raises him back up into the sky, and slams him down with yet another spinal cord-rapturing slam! He makes the quick cover, hooking the leg as referee struggles to remember how to count, and then does so, slapping his hand on the mat with each show of numerical prowess.


Kivell: “One!”

Axis: “Way to early for a win! As we can clearly see on our monitors, Thompson kicked out with relative ease after that one.”

Edwin: “Your monitor works? Mine just plays reruns of ‘Loveboat.”

King: “Loveboat?’ No wonder you’re so screwed up.”


Again the explosive warrior is lifted to his feet. An Irish-whip exchange ensues, with Taylor going for a Samoan Drop, but Frost falls behind him, whirls Taylor around, and flips him down to the mat with a tilt-a-whirl slam! Taylor arches his back, holding it with a pained expression on his face. Once again, Frost covers.


Kivell: “One! Two…”


Taylor kicks out, elevating his shoulder off of the mat, signifying to the audience that he’s still alive. Frost slams his hand angrily onto the mat with his fist, even though he’s not very surprised at TNT’s vitality. Frost circles his prey like an anteater circling an…um…ant, eying Taylor heartlessly. After some pacing, Frost comes in for the kill just as Taylor begins to stir, locking on a sleeper hold. Mathew attempts several times to count Taylor out for the TKO victory, but each time on arm-raise #3, Taylor somehow manages to keep his hand just a tad above the mat. Over a small time span of about a minute, Taylor slowly eases up to a standing position, but just as he is about to break free of the hold, Frost stomps on the mat and cinches up on the patented big man rest hold some more. Taylor, near the point of unconsciousness, thinks fast, and nails Frost with several elbows to the gut, freeing himself from the ‘iceman from Iceland’s maneuver. Thompson capitalizes with an Irish-whip, followed up by an old school spinebuster! Taylor hooks the leg…


Kivell: “One! Two!”

Axis: “The chilly baron kicks out of an Anderson-esque spinebuster!”

King: “Hey guys, remember when TNT spinebustered me into an inflatable pool filled with piranhas, and then I recovered and kicked his ass?”

Edwin: “Why…no.”


Frost struggles to his feet, not one to be kept down for long. Thompson is ready for him though, and charges with a Cactus-clothesline that sends both wrestlers outside of the squared circle! (1) They struggle to get up again, with Kivell making the count from the inside of the ring. (2) Both men rise to their feet, staggering over to eachother for yet another showdown. (3) Irish-whip exchange ensues, which ends with Frost sailing over to the guardrails, into the shocked crowd! Frost kips up with a look of bewilderment painted onto his usually unreadable face, and chases the dynamite grappler back into the ring. He slides under the ring ropes, only to be met by several boots to the back of the head! Frosty slowly collects himself, and manages to gain enough energy to lift TNT off of the mat, and slam him back down with a chokeslam! Frost stumbles away from the carnage, leaning against the ropes to try to escape from the dazed state in which he currently resides. Once Frost becomes aware of his surroundings, he stomps over to the nearest turnbuckle, and begins yanking on the pad!


Axis: “Oh no! What could Frost possibly be thinking?”

King: “Well, something smart.”

Edwin: “He’s pulling that top turnbuckle pad away to reveal the cold, hard steel that’s underneath!”

Axis: “He can’t do that, that would be cheating!”

King: “What do you call deKindes and Thompson coming down with a sheet of glass last Saturday and smashing Frost over the head with it?”

Axis: “Point taken.”


Frost savagely tears at the pad until all that is left is exposed steel, and then approaches the fallen TNT. He maliciously circles Taylor, until the Thompson has successfully made it to his feet. Irish-whip by Frost…which is reversed! But the reversal is reversed! TNT goes hurdling towards the exposed turnbuckle, only to notice it, and intelligently come to a halt 6 inches from his demise. *SMACK* Frost improvises, following Taylor, and delivers a knee to his tattooed back, sending his shoulder plummeting onto hard steel! Thompson stumbles back, holding his shoulder, but Frost awaits behind him, and goes for his patented Cobra Clutch!


King: “He’s tapping! He’s tapping!”

Axis: “He doesn’t even have the hold on yet for goodness sake.”


Just as Frost manages to lock Taylor into his grimacing clutch, Taylor sprints to the ropes, grasping them desperately. Frost takes advantage of the 5-count, not releasing the maneuver until 4.


King: “Oh come on, the match is over.”

Axis: “Not yet King, but I’m afraid to admit that if Frost can lock that maneuver on, it’ll be a sure victory, right Edwin? Edwin?”


Axis looks over at Eddie Mac, who is playing a game of Solitaire.


Axis: “EDWIN!”

Edwin (startled): Huh? What?”

Axis: “At least TRY to pay attention to the match.”

Edwin: “Match?”

Axis: “Idiot.”


Yet another stare down is held, neither man the least bit intimidated by the other. Frost goes for a short-clothesline, but Taylor ducks it and locks him in a rear-waistlock! Thompson attempts to lift the jolly green…um…the jolly white giant, but falls short at every feudal effort. Frost delivers a few backwards elbows, driving his joint right into Taylor’s aching shoulder/arm area. With one last endeavor Taylor strains his muscles, and lifts Frost up, planting his head into the mat with a German suplex! Thompson tries to bridge for the pin, but can’t muster up the energy as his shoulder gives out and he releases Frost, who goes awkwardly tumbling to the mat headfirst.


Edwin: “Ow! Did you see the angle that Frost’s head hit the mat? I’ve never been part of anything so painful.”

King: “I have. In fact, just last week, I was watching Speed 2…”

Axis: “Oh King don’t even start. Speed 2 is too awful to even explain with words, you have to see it for yourself.”

Edwin (fiddling with monitor): Hey, it’s on right now. This isn’t so bad…hey, what’s with the dialogue, and that acting…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE HORROR! THE HORROR!”


As Edwin passes out from the utterly horrid antics of Sandra Bullock, the action carries on within the confines of the ring. Taylor puts a few boots to the back of the head, and then scales a nearby turnbuckle, but stops at the second rope…


Axis: “2nd rope elbow drop!”

Edwin: “He makes the cover!”

Kivell: “One!”


The count is quickly broken as Kivell notices that Frost’s lanky-yet-built leg resides under the bottom rope. Thompson stands abruptly, delivers a few kicks to the gut, a few punches to Frost’s prone skull.


King: “Hey! He stole my move! I invented the punch! That copycat bastard!”


Frost, on his knees now, delivers a devastating low-blow, followed by a few punches of his own.


King: “Ah, you see that? Smart tactic by Frost there, punching. Obviously he’s taken some notes from my matches.”

Axis: “For some odd reason I doubt that.”


Frost, standing on his feet now, slinks behind Taylor, grabs his head, and pulls it back, locking on a neck-wrenching dragon sleeper! Thompson winces furiously, with a pained expression on his face, flailing his arms desperately. Kivell constantly asks the dynamite warrior if he quits, while Thompson lets out a resounding “no!” He begins to rise out of the hold, but just as Frost realizes this he slams his cranium down into the mat with a modified DDT!


Axis: “Inverted DDT!”

King: “Reverse DDT!”

Edwin: “Um, DDT that’s not a normal DDT!”

Axis: “Whatever it’s called, will it finish the match?”

Kivell: “One! Two! Thr…”


Taylor jerks his shoulder off of the mat, but quickly grasps it in pain, he rolls over to the ropes in an attempt to regroup and recover, but Frost follows the crawling TNT, dropping swift elbows on his upper-back area. Thompson struggles to stand, and starts to hulk-up! Oh wait, no, he’s picked up with a Gorilla Press…


King: “Um, Axis, why is Frost inching ever so slightly toward the outskirts of the ring?”

Axis: “I’m not sure but…OH MY GOD!!!!!”


Within an instant Frost hurls TNT over the top rope with relative ease. The commentator’s duck fearfully as Thompson soars downward, landing awkwardly on the side of the announcer’s table, shattering his shoulder! The table holds ground and doesn’t break, as TNT painfully rolls off, holding his upper-arm in anguish.


Axis: “Wow! What a move! TNT has GOT to be feeling the result of that right now in his shoulder area!”

Edwin: “Hey! He landed on my monitor and now it’s not playing Speed 2 anymore! Hip hip hooray!”

King: “See, I told you Frost was the better man.”

Axis: “Hey there, don’t count Taylor out of this match just yet, he’s back in the ring and ready for more!”


Taylor rolls back into the squared circle, and situates himself against the turnbuckle, smashing his shoulder against it to regain the feeling in his now-bruised shoulder.


Edwin: “Look at him, bashing his arm against the turnbuckle to regain the feeling in it. Hey, did any of you ever see Foley do that to his knee in his match against Shawn Michaels in ’96?”


The announcers stare blankly at Edwin, like he’s a complete moron.”


King: “Shawn who?”

Edwin: “Oh come on King, don’t play dumb, he’s a 3-time WWF champ…”

Axis: “Well, I’ve never heard of him. You can’t expect us to keep up with the WWF, they’re just a small time indie fed in Tijuana while the SWF rules all.”

Edwin: “But the WWF is a worldwide…”

Axis: “Yep. Indie fed in Mexico alright.”

Edwin: “Axis, you’re in denial.”

Axis: “Just watch the damn match!”


TNT saunters over to the chilly one, who is eagerly awaiting him with one more card up his sleeve. No, seriously, behind the ref’s back, he has secretly snatched a playing card from where Edwin was playing Solitaire earlier and rakes TNT’s eyes with it! Taylor lurches backward, holding his eyes, unsuspecting to Frost, who is sneaking up behind him to finish the match! However, the Cobra Clutch attempt is dodged, as Thompson uses his advantage by planting Frost’s albino-like head into the mat!


Axis: “Double-arm DDT! Can Thompson capitalize though? Yes! He’s going up top!”

King: “Come on…Frost needs some motivation, get some cheerleaders down here!”

Edwin: “For once I agree with you King.”

King: “You’re rooting for Frost?”

Edwin: “What? Of course not! I just think cheerleaders are hot.”

King: “Figures.”


Thompson slowly scales the ring post, with his fan’s reaction growing louder and louder with every step upward he takes.


Axis: “It’s clear that 100% of the fans here in the Drome want another ‘W’ on TNT’s record!”

King: “Not so fast Axis, there’re some Eskimos in one of the box-seats who are full-fledged Frost fans!”


Taylor let’s out an echoing “KABOOM!” to the fans, and lunges off of the turnbuckle, plummeting to the mat…


Axis: “TNT’s patented elbow drop, Shell Shock, which usually sets his opponent up for his finisher…”

King: “Taylor is promptly introduced to the mat as my hero easily dodges the attack!”

Edwin: “TNT’s in trouble, that whiff really put some hurtin’ in his elbow and shoulder area, which sets the setting for Frost to pick up the win!”

Axis: “Um, the moron is leaving the fricken’ ring.”

King: “Correction. He’s INTELLIGENTLY leaving the ring. You can tell by that ‘out of it’ expression on his face that he has a plan.”


Sure enough, Frost immediately springs into action, ruffling up the apron’s sheets to search under the depths of the ring. Frost, with a glint of slyness in his eye, apparently discovers his target, and pulls out a 3 by 3 sheet of glass!


King: “Oh, the irony.”

Axis: “Oh no, he’s not thinking what I think he’s thinking…”


Frost rests the window pane inside the ring, and keenly approaches Taylor from behind…


King: “He’s won the match! Cobra Clutch! Ring the bell!”


Taylor screams from the clutch’s painful effects, as Frost gains an evil grin on his face. Suddenly, in one last ditch effort, Taylor dashes to the ring post while still in the hold, runs up the turnbuckle and does a full back flip, which puts Frost in a pinning predicament! Frost realizes that he must let go of the hold, and reluctantly releases TNT.


King: “Damn it all to hell!”


Frost rapidly shakes the rope, screaming obscenities at the fallen Taylor Nicholas Thompson. Taylor stands in a dazed fashion, but just as Frost approaches him once more TNT is revealed as merely playing possum, as he dodges Frost, kicks him in the stomach…


Axis: “What’s this?”

Edwin: “Duh, he’s going for the Tiger Driver ’92, or as he calls it, Dynamite!”


Standing-head-scissors is applied by Taylor, he hooks Frost’s arms, and begins to lift him up…but his arm gives out once again as he falls to the mat in exhaustion, favoring his most-likely dislocated shoulder.


Axis: “Uh oh…this surely ‘blows a rabid monkey’ for TNT…”

King: “Yippy skippy! Frost has got the match in a bag now!”

Axis: “Now hold on…Taylor could make a comeback.”

Edwin: “Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my BUTT.”

Axis: “Edwin, don’t you remember? They DID fly out of your BUTT, last Halloween.”

Edwin: “Oh yeah, I still haven’t figured out how they got in there…”


Though the match is over anyway, Frost academically has to pin Taylor, so he stands him up, ready to finish him off. He approaches Taylor from behind, preparing for a Cobra Clutch…but suddenly notices the sheet of glass in the corner of the ring and smiles…


Axis: “Oh fuck.”

Edwin: “Another piledriver onto the glass?”

Axis: “Maybe…or maybe worse…”


Frost latches on the Cobra Clutch as the referee desperately tries to talk him into not getting carries away, but it’s too late…*Whoosh…CRACK…* Frost lifts Taylor in the air to the reaction of amazement, cracking the glass with his prone skull via release-cobra-clutch-suplex!!!!!!!!




King: “Wooh! Frost wins! Yeah baby! Haha!”


Frost stands, egging on the crowd as they start a deafening “FROST SUCKS!” chant. Outside of the ring, the referee explains to Funyon the premise of the finish, as Funyon grabs the mic.


Edwin: “Wait, I’m confused…”

King: “You always are…”

Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, and Suicide King…”

King: “Why must he do that?”

Funyon: “The winner of this bout, as the result of a disqualification! ‘TNT’ Taylor Nicholas Thompson!”

King: “No! He didn’t even care about winning did he?”

Axis: “Taylor wins it, though in a very unhealthy state, and will go on to face either Danny Williams or Tod deKindes on a later date, depending on who wins…NEXT!”


The screen cuts to a commercial, the last image on the screen is Suicide King with his head buried in his arms, sobbing miserably, Frost delivering an atomic wedgie to Kivell, and Tod deKindes helping his blood-covered ally to the back as AC/DC’s “TNT” plays in the background.

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Guest HVilleThugg



Ok, I"m gonna start by saying, good show JLers!  You all have been busting your asses for the past 3 or 4 months, and it shows on every show.


Now, first things first before I put my opinion in on this whole situation...




Dude, having been in the JL with you, I know how much the JL title means to you and how excited you must be to get it.  I can honestly say that I don't think there's a JLer alive who deserves it more than you because you've worked hard since the beginning, and didn't leave despite your long tenure in the JL!  I respect that...


And now...




Now, I don't know Ash personally from the shit I scrape off the bottom of my shoe...but I do know that he's been working his ass off for the JL since before any of you knew this place existed.  How dare you ruin this for him!  He has been in the JL longer than I can remember, only hoping to hold the world title just once.  He finally does it, and you assholes come out here and say that he shouldn't have won or he doesn't deserve it!  That's the biggest load of crap, and you all should be ashamed of yourselves.  I'm serious as a heart attack!  Ash has finally reached his goal, you all have the nerve to taint it with this shit!  Who the fuck are you??  How about this...shut the fuck up and let the man have his moment!  Who are you, Al Gore?


If you didn't like his match, that's fine...and it's also fine to say so in a constructive, non-disrespectful manner (I'm looking at Flexxx).  No one has a problem if you don't like a match...but for you all to say that he didn't deserve to win, that's shit.  Everyone in the JL...and for the WF...needs to improve because that's what makes us a better fed...better people...and better writers.  So...excuse Ash if his match wasn't the perfect picture of match writing, but who out there is...


Anyway, I'm extremely dissappointed and angry with all of you who have completely destroyed this moment for a man who has been busting his ass longer than you've even known what a username and password is.  Ash deserves this moment, and all of you who have ruined it owe him a heartfelt apology!


Now, about the markers.  I don't think I need to say anything because I'm gonna repeat what others have said.  But let me just lay it out for you all...


- Marking matches is subjective...not objective.  It's qualitative...not quantitative.  Sorry, but that's just the way it is.  If you don't like the way someone marks, request (in PM) that he/she not be your marker.  It's just that simple.


- PMs, PMs, PMs...if you have a problem with the way a match was marked...PM!


Now, I have read both matches, but I'm not going to comment on which I thought was better.  I will say that King and I haven't exactly seen eye to eye on a lot of things, but I'm gonna tell you that I would never question his decision on a match.  It's subjective...different people like different things.  He marked the match and picked the won he thought was better...period, end of story.


Xero...that was the most immature response i've ever seen from you.  I would have expected better.


And Ash winning a surprise??  I think not...or has everyone forgot his win in the Genesis II tournament a while ago?  He beat Raynor in fine fashion...remember??  How quickly people forget.


Da "extremely disappointed and angered by the JLers" H

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Guest TheAntipop

Since I only visit these forums once or twice a month, I figure I might as well stir up some controversy.


(12:40am) (@Munchie_Homework) heh, the JL is being run by the ML

(12:40am) (@Munchie_Homework) who woulda thunk it

(12:40am) (@Munchie_Homework) the JLCC is all ML

(12:40am) (@Munchie_Homework) the JL Champ is ML

(12:40am) (@Munchie_Homework) the announcers are pretty much ML

(12:41am) (@Strangler) Damn...you're right

(12:41am) (@Munchie_Homework) it bothers me

(12:41am) (Action) * Strangler needs to get on there to do something 'bout that.

(12:41am) (@Munchie_Homework) heh

(12:41am) (@Munchie_Homework) do it

(12:41am) (@Munchie_Homework) I tried, but I wasn't in their circle

(12:41am) (Action) * Munchie_Homework stuns them all from afar.

(12:42am) (@Munchie_Homework) yes, even Edwin and KoH

(12:43am) (@Strangler) Yeah....it's still the old guard

(12:43am) (@Strangler) But Crusen will let go eventually

(12:43am) (@Strangler) He won't go for much longer

(12:43am) (@Munchie_Homework) heh..

(12:43am) (@Munchie_Homework) man, why does that guy annoy me so sometimes

(12:44am) (@Munchie_Homework) is it because he threatened me when I was bumped?

(12:44am) (@Munchie_Homework) is it because he is like a machine

(12:44am) (@Munchie_Homework) is it because he locked himself in a shed (I know the joke is dead)?

(12:45am) (@Strangler) shed rhymes with dead

(12:46am) (@Munchie_Homework) it does

(12:46am) (@Munchie_Homework) you know, you should make a thread saying that we need some JL'ers involved in JL things...

(12:46am) (@Munchie_Homework) I mean, we need a JL guy, though and through, to be commish or something

(12:47am) (@Munchie_Homework) something..it's all ML

(12:47am) (@Strangler) Meh...I dunno. I can't really argue with the job that those three have done running the league

(12:47am) (@Strangler) The booking has been really good

(12:47am) (@Munchie_Homework) yeah, I know

(12:47am) (@Strangler) If there were problems, I'd say something, but the league is run so well




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Tom and Ash both wrote great matches and Suicide King had a tough choice. Well, now thanks to the edit button i don't look like a complete jackass posting three times...

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Here's my match since you wanted me to post it Scott. Good job by Tod to win the Euro. And I think Ash typed a solid match. Either one could have been picked. My problem was I just typed and let it flow at 1:00 AM on Wednesday morning because I was still up studying for a calculus test :(. I'm not mad, just upset with myself. Good win Scott I think the match you wrote was franchise level. Enough joking, here it is...


Axis: We are back from The Drome in Springfield for SJL Metal. For those of you that missed our first match-up I’m Axis and to my left and right respectively are Edwin MacPhisto and-


Suicide King: Don’t-


Axis: And former World Champion The Suicide King. Trust me King, we’ll never forget that. Nobody could forget that…


Edwin MacPhisto: Yeah, you spout it out after every sentence. Who could ever get it wrong?


Suicide King: What did I tell you about opening your mouth MacPhisto. Every time you do our ratings drop.


Edwin MacPhisto: Just like the SWF ratings while you were World Champ…


Axis: Anyways lets move on to this one on one match-up between two SJL rookies “The Franchise” Mak Francis and Scott Reid. This is Francis’s first televised match-up and we were able to see him in action earlier in the week. The same goes for Reid whom we’ve also can say great things about. These two youngsters, from the same state of Pennsylvania, collide for the first time in what should be a nice contest.


Suicide King: So very true Axis. Both these kids come from great backgrounds as Mak Francis is a Collegiate All-American and Scott Reid has been trained by some of the best in the business. These are just a few quick notes from your former World Champion.


Edwin MacPhisto: Oh Brother…


Funyon, dressed to impress in a black suit and silver tie, gets ready as “Down with the Sickness” plays in the background. Blue and White lights flash, as the words ‘Are you Ready’ fly across the screen, a digitized voice repeats them. This occurs two times when the band normally has a speaking part. At the part where the band first yells, the digitized voice screams ‘Cause the Franchise is Here’. The big screen flashes the words 'The Franchise'. This is followed by a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis and he comes out onto the stage. A mixed reaction of cheers and boos ring out as he slowly strolls down to ringside with Tyler Kinkel, clipboard in hand. He smoothly enters through the middle ropes. Francis then poses in the center of the ring with both his hands raised in the air while Kinkel sits at the announce table to the right of the Suicide King.


Funyon: Weighing in tonight at 225 pounds…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…”The Franchise” Mak Francis!


Edwin MacPhisto: This kid Francis is arguably the best in the nation at the collegiate level. But that and the SJL are two different fields of battle and he better be ready for the fight of his life. No coasting today son or Reid will eat you for breakfast.


Axis: Very true Mac. Scott Reid has an explosive personality and quite a mouth to go along with it. The good or bad thing, whichever way you look at it, is he can back it up in the ring.


“The Pittsburgh Plunge” starts to emit from the loudspeakers and moments later, Scott Reid, a mic in hand, comes strutting out from behind the curtains with a huge, shit-eating grin across his face. Fans rise to their feet, throwing trash and spitting insults his way, but he just pauses for a second and claps it up, egging them on.


Axis: My, what a reaction from this crowd toward Reid. They must know something about his pension for bad mouthing a town before his match.


Tyler Kinkel looks on a jots a few words down onto his clipboard. Suicide King looks over his shoulder and nods his head.


Funyon: Weighing in tonight at 237 pounds…from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania…Scott Reid!


Scott stands at the stage, basking in his own glory as he raises the mic to his lips.


Scott: Hey…YOU’LL SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN I’M TALKING! Idiots. Well, I would say it’s wonderful to be here in wherever the hell we are but I hate this damn place already! I’d rather be in that cesspool New Jersey or even Podunk, USA than this god-forsaken town. But on to more pressing and important matters like “The Franchise” Mak Francis. What kind of moron calls himself “The Franchise” anyways? Probably some dumb ass from Springfield, sitting on the couch eating cookie dough, trying to become the next contestant for Tough Enough 3 or gain another chin.  Whatever comes first!


Not surprisingly the crowd starts a “You’re a asshole” chant and Reid just smiles and flips off one or two fans. A fan tries to hit him with a soda can but Reid is too quick and dodges the metallic object as it clanks against the ramp. Slowly but surely the crowd quiets down waiting for Reid to go on another tirade  


Scott: You know what…I’m going to cut my speech short because not you fans or even “The Franchise” down there is worthy of hearing me speak.


Scott Reid slowly walks to ringside and climbs into the ring. He sizes Francis up while the referee Kivell checks for any illegal objects on Francis. Reid promptly takes the chain out of his boot and places it under the ring apron. The crowd boos as Reid acts like nothings happened. Kivell comes over to Reid and after a quick check asks for the bell.


Suicide King: Both these rookies have the killer instinct but the question is will they get to the point in the match where execution is everything or will Reid’s old school style give Francis an old school ass kicking.


Edwin MacPhisto: Finally something that doesn’t end with him saying he’s a former World Champion.


Axis: And this one on one single falls match-up is underway between “The Franchise” and Scott Reid. Do you have anything to add Mr. Kinkel?


Tyler Kinkel: Mak better not joke around today…


Francis and Reid bounce around the ring testing their footing and the recoil of the ropes. The two grapplers come together into a collar and elbow tie, each man struggling for the advantage. Francis seems to get the better of Reid and backs him into the ropes. Kivell asks for a clean break and doesn’t get it as Francis slaps Reid to the enjoyment of the crowd.


Edwin MacPhisto: I get the feeling that Francis doesn’t really respect Reid all too much.


Suicide King slaps Axis across the face and laughs.


Suicide King: That’s not true I respect Axis here a lot more than you and I just smacked the crap out of him! Mak is just trying to show Scotty that he’s worthy of being spoken to.


Francis and Reid lock up again and the two men toil and trudge trying to take control. Francis hits a knee lift to the gut of Reid and locks in a hammerlock. Reid tries to find an escape route by reaching under his legs and hopefully countering into a rolling leg lock but he can’t reach Francis. Finally he wraps his arm around Francis’s neck and jumps into the air. Using the momentum of his jump he executes a jumping Snapmare. Reid runs at Francis who has quickly regained his vertical base and receives a boot to the midsection and a fireman’s carry down to the mat. Francis and Reid then tussle on the ground and it ends with Francis in a solid 3/4 Nelson with a bridge pinning Reid’s shoulders to the canvas.


Kivell: One…T-


Axis: And a kick-out by Reid in what was the first pin attempt of this match-up.


Both men get to their feet after an impressive display of mat work with Francis coming out with the moral victories of knowing he can out wrestler and got the first near fall over Reid.


Axis: “The Franchise” Mak Francis, showing us all why he was an All-American in collegiate wrestler. An impressive bit of mat wrestling there, by both competitors involved.


Tyler Kinkel: Mak can outwrestle anyone. He is the best I’ve seen and I’m the best coach in the world. After I started coaching Mak my stock skyrocketed and I've coached Olympic gold medalists' before, but hey, only the best can coach a Franchise, right?


Edwin MacPhisto: What surprised me is that Reid is able to keep up with a US amateur champion.


Suicide King: Mak is about as good as it gets when two people face off on the mat. And Scotty, with his attitude, may be the next big thing to happen in pro wrestling. Scotty and Mak are two new comers that I think will go somewhere in the SJL. And since I can’t pick which one I want to win, I’ll say neither and LET’S GET WITH THE VOLIENCE AND CARNAGE ALREADY!


Edwin MacPhisto: For once I agree but for the total opposite reason. I think both of these kids would sell the soul for the win and I want to watch them squirm. That’s why I say, LET’S GET WITH THE VIOLENCE AND CARNAGE ALREADY!


Tyler Kinkel: I’m sure there will be plenty of violence to go around guys. If you even consider yourself a man MacPhisto…


Edwin MacPhisto: (speechless)…


Suicide King: Bwahahaha…Ty doesn’t even consider MacPhisto to be a man. It’s funny because it’s true…


Axis: Emotional words from our commentating quartet cause I’m ready to see some carnage too folks.


Francis takes over with a headlock and looks ready to hit a running bulldog, when Reid powers out after a trifecta of elbow, each more devastating than the last. Bouncing off the ropes he flies at Francis and misses with a hard lariat that would have knocked him straight to the canvas.  Francis gets up quickly from his ducked position and sets up for a superkick. The rebounding Reid sees this and holds on to the ropes, swiftly pulling himself out of the ring as Francis kicks at air. Outside the ring Reid point to his head indicating how smart he is and the fans react accordingly. He just laughs it off and taunts a fan by hitting on his wife.


Axis: Francis, trying to end this match earlier went for “the perfect kick”. By the way Mr. Kinkel you never explained how he came up with that name.


Kivell: One…


Tyler Kinkel: Well, you all know him as “The Franchise” because he is at the Franchise level-


Kivell: Two…


Axis: Franchise level?


Tyler Kinkel: It’s where the upper echelon dwell. And Mak is great enough to be there. A lot of people have the talent but most don’t have that special “it” to get to the top. He’s got “it” inside of him and that’s what you build a franchise around hence the nickname “The Franchise”. But many other people have come up with nicknames for Mak. And one time at regionals a coach said that his opponent was going up against perfection personified so he’d better give it his all.


Kivell: Three…


Tyler Kinkel: Since he’s perfection personified his superkick must be perfect. And that’s why he calls it “the perfect kick”.


Edwin MacPhisto: This kid has more nicknames than…


Suicide King: Than what…


Kivell: Four…Five…


Edwin MacPhisto: …Well, any wrestler I’ve ever seen.


Suicide King: This just in…SJL ratings have dropped 3 percent after a DUMBASS comment from MacPhisto.


Axis: And Reid is finally attempting to get back in the ring after taking a long five count to flirt with a fans wife on the outside. Unbelievable!


Reid stands on the ring apron and Francis rush up to him making the first rookie mistake of the match. Reid grabs Francis and snaps his neck against the top cable forcing Francis to slightly choke. Reid lifts Francis from his feet and yanks him out of the ring. The two men go toe-to-toe exchanging right hands. Reid blocks and connects with two fast jabbing right hands. Reid now with the advantage, whips Francis into the guardrail with so much authority that he falls to the mat. He reaches under the ring and silently puts the chain previously in his boot back into its normal position. He stands up and points at an obese fan and asks him if he’s trying out for Tough Enough 3.


Suicide King: Great job Scotty. Keep up the carnage. You guys, keep in mind that that statement excludes MacPhisto, have to like the way Reid reacts to the crowd.


Edwin MacPhisto: Well, despite being a jackass just like you, Reid’s last two attacks were very smart. Two attacks to the head have to make you wonder if he’s setting Francis up for the “Pittsburgh Plunge”. This variation of the diamond cutter can come out of anywhere at anytime and if Francis wants to win this match he must find a counter to it.


Tyler Kinkel: If Mak can’t find a counter for the move, then nobody can MacPhisto!


Reid picks Francis up and hotshots him on the guardrail again focusing on the throat area.  Kivell approaches four in the count as Reid lifts the protective matting and hoists Francis vertically, dropping him suddenly into a snap suplex. Francis writhes in pain holding his lower lumbar from the impact of his body against the concrete floor. Reid rolls into the ring and back out again to get a new count and proceeds to once again taunt a fan. While all this occurs Francis slowly but surely gets to one knee. The taunting Reid does not realize that Francis has already partially recovered.


Tyler Kinkel: This is why everybody calls Mak “The Franchise”. He noticed his opponents’ weakness, which is bantering with the fans, and is going to capitalize on that fact. Suicide King saw the notes I took from earlier and this was one off my main keys to this match-up. I keep this checklist to see how Mak reacts and if he is developing into a more observant wrestler.


Axis: Apparently he is…


Francis looks like he’s had an epiphany and gets back down on the ground-playing possum as Reid lifts him up, rolling him into the ring. Reid turns smiling at the crowd again and Francis bounces off the far ropes and connects with a baseball slide to the neck and shoulders of Reid. Francis rolls to the outside and slams Reid’s head into the guardrail so that a loud echoing clank can be heard throughout the arena. Francis grabs Reid by the face and hurls him into the ring post eliciting a “Franchise” cheer from the crowd. He rolls Reid back into the ring and drags his face across the ropes, causing the fans to cheer him more.


Edwin MacPhisto: Well, all I can say is this reaction is very odd…


Francis stops raking the eyes of Reid across the ropes and Reid takes the opportunity to go behind Francis and secures a waist lock set-up in preparation for a belly to back suplex.  Eyes still stinging from the last move Reid can’t quite muster enough energy to overpower a blocking Francis. Francis, with the referee Kivell out of position, hits a mule kick low blow turning the tables on the old school wrestler. Francis follows up with a double leg take down and drags Reid over towards the post. Francis goes to the outside, crotching Reid around the post in the process of placing his legs in a four around the aforementioned pole. The crowd after quieting down has again started up a “Franchise” chant. He locks on the figure four around the ring post and Reid waves his arms but surprisingly does not scream out in agony.


Axis: I guess this capacity crowd has made its choice in “The Franchise” Mak Francis. Normal the cheating actions of “The Franchise” would have this crowd in a booing frenzy but I guess they just hate Reid so much that as long as he’s getting hurt, they’re happy!


Francis breaks the holds after a five count from Kivell for good measure and climbs back into the ring. Francis goes for a cover. Kivell slides into position and Axis counts along.


Axis: One…two and a kick-out by Reid.


Francis picks him up to one knee, but Kivell is once again out of position, and Reid nails Francis’s nads with a low blow uppercut. He follows it up with an Inverted Atomic Drop that cause Francis to hop around the ring as fast as a man that just got hit in the nether regions twice can. Reid connects with a heavy punch to the gut and finishes his flurry of offense with a swinging neckbreaker! Reid instead of going for a serious cover, steps on the face of Francis, as the crowd boos him like there’s no tomorrow. Kivell gets into position and…


Axis: One…Two-


Suicide King: That offensive attack was worthy of a World Champion but everybody knows that Mak would kick-out of a cocky pin attempt like that.


Reid a little out of breath grips Francis up with a rear chin lock trying to wear down the neck and give himself a little time to catch his breath. After a couple of minutes the crowd starts to chant for Francis while Reid yells for them to shut up. Francis fights back to his vertical base and after breaking the hold with some elbows he bounces off the ropes. Reid ducks Francis’s clothesline attempt and kicks a turning Francis in the stomach leading to his viscous DDT!  Reid floats over into a cover and hooks the far leg. Kivell slides into position and…


Axis: One…Two…T-


Edwin MacPhisto: Francis did well to kick-out off a strong DDT like that one.


Tyler Kinkel: That crap isn’t going to keep Mak down. Shut up MacPhisto!


Reid picks up the dazed Francis and after a kick to the gut sets him up for a piledriver in the middle of the ring. He picks up Francis and drives his head stiffly into the canvas causing him to literally bounce into the air from the extreme velocity. It takes Reid a while to get his body on top of Francis as Kivell already in position for once starts to count…


Axis: One…Two…Three…No he barely got the shoulder up after that. After the way he bounced off the mat there was no way he should be breathing let alone moving.


Suicide King: That’s why I like the kid. He has the killer instinct and that never say die attitude.


Reid picks Francis up off the mat and taunts the fans a little by toying with him. He even goes so far as to turn his back on Francis, which is not the best idea. Francis latches on and executes the epitome of a German suplex. He does not let go after the first but merely brings them both to a vertical base and delivers a carbon copy of the previous German suplex. Francis truly struggling to his feet now hits the trifecta of German suplex but this one ends in a bridge. Kivell gets into position and…


Axis: One…Two…Th-


Tyler Kinkel: He got a shoulder up!


Edwin MacPhisto: It was a huge mental error by Reid to turns his back on Francis. Luckily he’s a lot fresher than Francis and can regain the advantage he lost quickly.


True to MacPhisto’s statement Reid gets up first still dazed from the rolling German suplexes. Reid a little frustrated at his previous mistake now grabs Francis off the squared circle yet again and picks him up onto his shoulder. He flips of the fans before setting Francis up in a tombstone piledriver position. Francis has the presence of mind to wriggle around and after receiving all the offense he counters by flipping their positions. Reid fights back with all the strength he has left and miraculously flips the tombstone in his favor. Francis swings wildly with his hand and feet to fight the inevitable and connects with the side of Reid head and the left testicle of Reid’s genitals cause him to drop Francis on his back instead of head. Both men lay on the ground, Reid howling out in pain for the first time in this match, as Kivell starts the mandatory ten count.


Kivell: One…Two…


Edwin MacPhisto: The first man to his feet will definitely have the advantage, as both men are tired.


Francis is the first to his feet and sets up to deliver a flying forearm to the mouth of Reid. Reid, partially up now, falls back to the canvas grabbing his still hurting testicles and surprisingly the referee Kivell gets hit instead. Francis sets up for the superkick he missed earlier in the match-up as Reid straggles to his feet. Francis kicks, but OUT OF NOWHERE, Reid deflects the kick with his left arm and Francis falls right into the perfection position for the “Pittsburgh Plunge”! Francis gets nailed as his face bounds of the canvas after a display of countering never before seen. Reid goes for the cover not realizing the referees down, as Kinkel, seeing his opportunity rises from his seat. Reid stands up and walks directly into a clipboard shot that can only be described as a malicious thud. Kinkel exits the ring leaving the clipboard in Francis’s corner to cheering fans after cheating Reid out of a sure victory. He sits back down at ringside to looks of contempt from Axis and Edwin.


Kinkel: Do you two jokers have a problem?


Axis: Your dirty and even though these fans hate that man they should hate you more for tainting this unbelievable contest.


Suicide King: He’s just doing what needs to be done for the “W”. What’s so wrong about that? I made a career of maiming and bending the rules it got me straight to the top. Have you ever been a World Champion?


Reid is the first one to his feet and a little woozy he falls to the outside of the ring. He pushes the timekeeper off his seat and folds the chair preparing it for use. He and Kinkel have a stare down, as Reid looks really agitated.


Tyler Kinkel: You don’t have the balls to hit me with that chair son.


And surprisingly Reid drops the chair and turns around reaching into his boot. He raps the 2 feet long chain around his right hand and turns back to Kinkel.


Tyler Kinkel: I knew you didn’t have-


Reid wallops Kinkel in mid-sentence and turns his attention to Francis who has finally gotten to one knee after about five minutes! Reid slides in to the ring and takes a swing at Francis but he ducks and locks on the Million Dollar Exemption. Reid hits a quick jab with the chain cover hand to break the hold quickly as he was already gasping for air. Staggering Francis grabs the clipboard from behind him as Reid shakes the cobwebs out. Both men take a swing at their opponent and connect, laying each other out. Out of nowhere the bell rings signaling the end of the match as both Reid and Francis are busted wide open lying a short distance away from the turnbuckle.


Suicide King: What happened Axis. It was just starting to get gory.


Axis: Well, It seems our referee has woken up and he saw these two men hit each other with illegal object. I think he called for the bell.


Funyon: This match-up goes to a no-contest. A Double Disqualification between Scott Reid and Mak Francis. No contest.


Edwin MacPhisto: After all that nobody won. Who saw this coming?


Suicide King: Well I guess I was right after all because I didn’t chose either of them.


SJL Rewind

Earlier Tonight


Suicide King: Mak is about as good as it gets when two people face off on the mat. And Scotty, with his attitude, may be the next big thing to happen in pro wrestling. Scotty and Mak are two new comers that I think will go somewhere in the SJL. And since I can’t pick which one I want to win, I’ll say neither and LET’S GET WITH THE VOLIENCE AND CARNAGE ALREADY!



Edwin MacPhisto: Unbelievable…


Suicide King: See I was right. MacPhisto didn’t believe me Ty…Ty…


Kinkel is still unconscious sitting in his seat after the chain shot from Reid.


Axis: Well, a great match-up that ends in a Double DQ. Can we get some medical attention for our competitors and Mr. Kinkel, please? Thank you.

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom

Right.....Franchise, the key is NOT to post the match THREE times.


But seriously, decent match by normal standards, and awesome match by newbie standards.

Translation: Good match.

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom

Damn, I know King said not to stay up waiting for the card but I'm stupid and am doing it anyway. But if it's not up in an hour then I'm bailing, I've got a dancing reservation with some sugar plums in just a bit.

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My bad. I think that when I stopped my browser because it wasn't connecting it posted by mistake. Ah well, thems the breaks. Sorry everybody.

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