Hoff 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2005 HeldDOWN is presented by OAOAST Entertainment. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We hear LaLa and now’s a good time for ME to point out that I never liked that song. Could a change be in store? Whoops, no time to think about that, here comes the LOGO... WHOOSH~ it goes!! Fireworks set off as we cut to the live crowd!! COLE Welcome, everyone, to HELDDOWN~!~!~!!! COACH AWWWWW YEAH-UH~! CABOOSE Right-o. COLE This week is gonna be action packed! COACH Like the Action Zone? COLE EVEN BIGGER!!! We got MAD HELLA TAG ACTION, as we'll see the New New Midnight Express take on the Frankenstieners, and the Saints and the Love Doctors-- CABOOSE The LUUUURRRVE Doctors-- COLE --will be in action as well! We've also got our newest, funkiest superstar, That 70's Guy-- COACH T70G, BOO-YAH~! COLE --in the ring! Plus women's interpromotional action, and MUCH MORE!! COACH MORE?! COLE MORE!!!! COACH MORE?!?!? COLE MORE!!!!!!!! CABOOSE Dear, GOD, help us all! Can we deal with that much more? COLE I don't think so! I'm gonna go get a soda!! CABOOSE Sod-- hey, wait! Get back here!! Cole flees the scene as Caboose calls out after him. CABOOSE Bloody hell. COACH Well, we-- Coach is cut short by Sevendust's "Black" as the fans get to their feet!!! COACH Oh, SNAP. That sucks. Mikey must have known what was coming. CABOOSE You ARE the perfect fall guy. COACH Dumb as a post, twice as hard! CABOOSE Gross. BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOOOOOOOOOOM~!~!~! Pyrotechnics EXPLODE as Hoff steps out of the curtain and onto the stage! The fans give Hoff one hell of a standing O as the big man looks out among the cheering people, his face serious. COACH Hoff, in three days, will meet Chris Stevens in a steel cage match, and that should be one hell of a fight. CABOOSE Bollocks. I don't like Hoff anymore. COACH He put you in the will? CABOOSE He BETTER. He has an X-Box, I NEED AN X-BOX!!!! COACH DAYUM~! You don't have the X?! Sucka. CABOOSE You don't have the Y, as in the chromosome. COACH Huh? CABOOSE Never mind, simpleton. COACH Your jokes suck. PUNK'D~! CABOOSE Ugh. By this time, Hoff has already made his way to the ring amidst all the "clever" banter. He slides in under the bottom rope, quickly scaling the nearest turnbuckles, posing on the second rope. Hoff throws one arm into the air, letting out a primal yell that drives the crowd into a frenzy! COACH Man, Hoff has got these people in the palm of his hand. CABOOSE Sad but true. Hoff hops off the buckle, and grabs a mic from ringside. HOFF Now.... "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" Hoff smiles, shaking his head, then looking out at the crowd and nodding, drawing a big cheer. HOFF Now...if I could call out an old friend of mine. Chris, you-- CUE: "Bound for the Floor" The fans turn irate as Chris Stevens' music kicks in. The boos are deafening as the man himself steps onto the stage. Dressed impeccably, holding a mic, Stevens smirks with a hint of disdain at the smiling Hoff. COACH Stevens wasting no time meeting Hoff's call! CABOOSE He's a man's man, Coach, something you'd know nothing about. COACH Yeah, and something you WOULD!! SNAP!! GHEY'D~! CABOOSE I am so hanging myself later. COACH Cool! Stevens looks at the crowd, nodding with a sneer as they boo him out of the building. The boos finally die down, and Hoff continues. HOFF Chris. Chris Stevens. The man who would see me broken. "BOOOOO!!!!" Stevens nods slowly, his smirk fading. HOFF Well, take a good look, Chris. You saw it last week, you're seeing it tonight. I am far from broken. "YEEEEEEEAAH!!!!" Stevens rolls his eyes and scoffs. COACH Folks, last week Hoff absolutely DESTROYED Stevens' bodyguard Jumbo! HOFF You know it...these people know it...and your pal Jumbo damn sure knows it. I am alive and kicking. "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" HOFF And buddy, you're going to regret that fact in three days, at Anglepalooza, when I have you locked inside of a steel cage. "YEEEEEAH!!!" Stevens blanches ever so slightly, but he retains his composure, pursing his lips and sneering at the big man. HOFF No? You're not scared, Chris? Stevens shakes his head, then raises his own microphone. STEVENS Hoff....why in the hell would I be scared of you? "BOOOOOOO" Hoff raises an eyebrow at this. STEVENS Listen, big man. You came back and you got all these fans poppin' for you, but it's time to face facts. You were always B-team. Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein carried your ass for months. You were never, ever good enough to make it on your own. You went from me carrying your ass, to them. It's really pretty sad, big boy. But the truth often is. Hoff's jaw sets as Stevens spins his yarn. STEVENS No, you don't like hearing it, do you, Hoff? But I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. Let me continue. You won yourself a world title. Yippee. Congratulations, man! Hey, I have an idea. You should have gone home and put it in with all the other titles you never deserves. The fans "oooooh" the burn. COACH SNAP~! Hoff's eyes narrow at the remark. STEVENS Oh, but I'm not done, Hoff. Fortunately, I was able to right the wrong of Hoff as World Champion, but sadly, the help I hired wasn't able to get the job done. For what it's worth, Jumbo's services have been terminated. And good job, by the way, on your win last week. You beat a second-rate lackey. Your parents must be very proud. "BOOOOOOO" STEVENS But let's get to the kicker, Hoff. Let's get to it. The bare facts. Fact number one: you have never, ever won a steel cage match. Not here, not in Japan, not even in Minnesota. Never. You know this, and you also know this is true: I have. "BOOOOOOOO" COACH Is that true? CABOOSE Well, Stevens wouldn't lie! STEVENS Fact number two. You have severe ligament damage in your knee. I know, because I bribed your doctor. Don't think you can hide from me, Hoff. I'm smarter than you'll ever be. COACH Is THAT true? CABOOSE Hoff doesn't seem to be denying it!! STEVENS Now you can lie to yourself all you want to. but I'm gonna tear your knee right off your leg if I have to. Anyway, let's get to fact number three. My favorite fact. You have never...ever...ever beaten me. HOFF WHAT?! STEVENS Shut your mouth, for a second. Not one-on-one, not without cheating, and never when it mattered. Look at this year. I took your 24/7 title. I beat you at Dirty Deeds. Every time we get together, I come out on top. So let me ask you, Hoff: what the hell makes you think this time will be any different? Come on, Hoff, let me have it: just HOW are you gonna beat me? The fans boo as Stevens finishes his thoughts. He smiles a thin, sick smile at Hoff, who lowers his head, scratching his goatee, before looking back up. HOFF Chris...everything you just said might be true. But if it is true, then when I was riding Zack and Cal's jocks, they taught me one thing: how to look into someone's eyes. How to tell what someone was thinking just by the expression on their face. Chris, I'm looking you right in the eye, and you know what I see? Fear. "YEEEEEEAH!!!!" HOFF See, for the first time in my life, the great and powerful Chris Stevens is afraid of me. Chris, you and I both know you're a great wrestler. One of the best. And we both know, on your best day and my best day, we might never be able to beat one another. But you made one mistake, Chris, and that is that you pissed me off. And if you think I'm pissed now, Chris, then you just WAIT until Sunday. Because, brother, I am saving it all up inside of me. I haven't hit you, taken a swing at you, even let myself get frustrated by you, because I want to let it all out at once. And when I do let it out, when I get through with you, there might not be anything left. The fans are BALLISTIC at Hoff's words. Stevens' eyes are wide as saucers, and his face is completely white. The cameras cut back to Hoff, who nods. HOFF I see that fear. And let me tell you, you better be afraid. The crowd cheers-- then cheers even more as Hoff gets out of the ring! Hoff hops off the apron and Stevens, like a deer in headlights, freezes. Hoff walks down the ramp, until he's right next to Stevens. Stevens looks right into Hoff's narrow eyes. HOFF Until Sunday, old friend. Until then. "Black" plays as Hoff smiles and walks away. Stevens, finally out of his spell, shakes the cobwebs out, and quickly heads to the back. COACH WOW! Hoff is in the HEAD of Stevens!! CABOOSE I give you this, it's the smartest he's ever been. COLE (coming back) Hey, how was it? COACH You punk'd me! COLE Yes, yes I did. COACH NOICE! CABOOSE ...anyway. Hoff appears to be focused heading into Sunday! Will Stevens be able to pull off the not-at-all-an-upset win?! We'll see! *cut to commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2005 COLE We're back, and Josh Matthews is with Alix Spezia in the back! Josh? (Backstage, Josh “J.Math” Matthews is standing with Alix Spezia in the OAOAST ACTIONzone! Alix is wearing faded jeans and a tight black shirt that reads “ Boyz suck”.) JOSH Alix, we are only a few short days away from Anglepalooza, where you will face the team of Daniel Maximus Black and Zack Malibu for the most coveted prize in tag team wrestling, the OAOAST tag team titles. Because you’re my favorite tag team, I for one can’t wait to see you and Krista capture gold at Anglepalooza in Toronto! But I must ask you, last week Dan Black shoved his crotch into... ALIX LALALALALANOTLISTENINGLALAALALALA! JOSH Fair enough! What’s your confidence level like heading into the match? There are a few naysayers who don’t think you can beat The Original Elite! ALIX My good friend Stevie Ray once told me if there’s one thing suckas gotta do its know. And Josh, my busy schedule of sniffing dry erase board markers doesn’t allow me to adequately bestow the plethora of information that suckas need. That’s why I need you Josh! You have to make like the New York Times and say all the news that’s fit to say! Be like Fox News in reverse, not fair and balanced but unfair and unbalanced. Tell suckas that Chicks Over Dicks are leaving Anglepalooza with the tag team belts! Tell the guy in the front row of the arena who doesn’t seem to realize that its not 1999 and is still wearing an NWO Hollywood t-shirt that Chicks Over Dicks are leaving Anglepalooza with the tag team belts! JOSH Chicks Over Dicks are leaving Anglepalooza with the tag team belts!!!! ALIX Now tell him not to turn his back on the Wolfpac! JOSH Don’t turn your back on the wolfpac! Doo-doo-doo-doo-dee! ALIX What was that?! JOSH I’m singing the song. ALIX Who told you to sing? Make like I’m Al Pacino and you’re Simone and do what I say. ALIX Now tell the guy in section 109, row K, seat 19, who has every episode of California Dreams on tape and isn’t afraid to admit he actually enjoyed Saved by the Bell: the College Years, thus making him the only person alive that enjoyed Saved by the Bell: The College Years, that Chicks Over Dicks are leaving Anglepalooza with the tag team belts! JOSH Chicks Over Dicks are leaving Anglepalooza with the tag team belts!!! ALIX Now go tell it around the mountain! And don’t you dare come back until every around that mountain, everyone planning on visiting that mountain, everyone who’s ever thought of that mountain, and everyone who knows the definition of the word mountain, knows that Chicks Over Dicks are walking out with the tag team championship belts! JOSH Chicks Over Dicks are leaving Anglepalooza with the tag team belts!!!!! ALIX Now say you’re going to kick Tony Brannigan’s ass. JOSH I’M GOIN...Wait....Are you sure I should be saying that? ALIX Yeah. It’s cool. It’s not like he’s around here or anything. Don’t worry. Nothing’s gonna happen. It’s cool, J.Math. Ally cat’s gothca! (Josh nods and take’s a nice long and deep breath) JOSH I’M GOING TO KICK TONY BRANNIGAN’S ASS! (Josh is overcome by a release of pent up for too long adrenaline! Waving his skinny arms in the air, he starts to jump around like he just won the World Series!) TONY (Off Screen) What did you say? ALIX (biting her thumb) Uh-oh spaghetti-ohs. (Tony Brannigan, tag team champion and unashamed lady’s man, comes onto the scene styling and profiling in a sharp navy colored Armani suit and a cowboy hat given to him by Vice President Dick Cheney.) TONY Mr. Matthews, I believe I asked you a question. What did you say? My hearing is failing me. That happens when you have women moaning in your ear all night long, "Oh, baby. Oh! Tony, yes!" Of course, you wouldn't know what that's like because... well, girls like men with money, not frosted hair. Now, did I just hear you say you were going to kick somebody’s ass? My ass? That’s just too funny to be true. Whose ass were you going to be kicking, punk? Enlighten me, please. (Unable to bring himself to stand up to the imposing physical marvel he’s faced with, Josh trembles with debilitating fear.) JOSH No..no....nobody. (Josh scrunches himself into a ball as he expects the arrogant champion to slug him in the jaw.) TONY Nobody what? JOSH (tears rolling down his cheeks, warm piss doing the same on his legs.) Nobody.....sir. TONY Exactly. (Putting all his weight into it, Tony violently shoves Josh against the wall! The frightened announcer sags to the floor. He holds his badly hurt chest, pathetically whimpering for pleas of mercy that include nonsensical statements such as “I thought the Purist was a good gimmick.”) ALIX Hey! You can’t do that! TONY Hey yourself, cutie pie. I do what I want....and who I want. (Tony slowly and gently runs his fingers along Alix’s cheek. She tries to get away, but the well -dressed bruiser grabs her thin wrist and pulls her in close to his muscular frame, so that her body is pressed against his. T-Bod’s hold on her hand is like some kind of debased and slimy shackle and she’s unable to escape him and his deviant threats of sexual conquest. She struggles, but his grip persists in its role as a perverted jailer.) TONY So you want to leave Anglepalooza with the belt that’s around my waist? That’s interesting because I plan on leaving Anglepalooza with your mouth around something’s that near my waist. You don’t have to put up a fight, but my eventual conquest will be much sweeter if you do. Try to make this interesting for me. (Before Tony can act out his depraved fantasies on the significantly smaller woman, Krista, who isn’t much bigger then Alix but is a lot meaner runs in to save the day. Brannigan’s handsome face brightens at the sight of the woman he narrowly defeated last week. Somewhat frightened by Tony, Alix positions herself behind Krista as though her older partner was an impenetrable fortress. ) KRISTA What the hell is going on here? TONY A gentleman never kisses and tells, darlin'. KRISTA Well, I don't see any gentleman here. TONY (laughs) You see, Ms. Krista Isadora Duncan, Alix and Dan got a chance to know each other a bit better last week and I thought I might get the chance to pay her a similar pleasurable courtesy. Like my good friend President Bush, I plan on reaching out to my fellow colleagues -- those who reach out to me. No harm in being friendly with your fellow competitor. KRISTA When her fellow competitor is about as charming and appealing as a five year old’s moldy, pissed on bed sheet, then yes I’d say there is just a small bit of harm. You’re only a step above a child molester in my book. So leave my friend alone and go back to whatever cave you slithered out of you male chauvinist, mouth breathing, troglodyte ass hole! (Rather then be offended, Tony simply chuckles.) TONY I saw your workout video, "Kids with Buns." KRISTA It’s called "Buns With KID", you intellectually incoherent jackass. TONY Darlin', please. No need for name-calling. I must profess to being a bit of fitness buff myself having worked out with some of bodybuilding’s greats at the Golds Gym in Venice. Far be it for me to toot my horn -- TOOT TOOT -- but I’ve developed quite a number of effective workout techniques. I’d love to share them with you...(a lightbulb goes on above his head) Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t you come back to my hotel room and I’ll help you sweat a few pounds off that ass. (Wearing a warped grin on his face, Tony channels Sean Connery's James Bond by playfully slapping Krista's BUTT for the second week in the row! The fans on the outside “ooh” at Tony’s audacity. Outraged to the point of no return, Krista responds by slapping him right across the cheek! His face turns bright red as his hand moves from her ass cheek to his face’s cheek.) TONY (scoffs) You hit like a girl. (Tony leaves the area, but not before earning back some of his pride by kicking a downed and crying Josh Matthews in the nuts. Worried about his health and feeling a tad guilit, Alix drops down to check on the disheveled announcer. Krista clenches her fist tightly and stares bullets at a departing Brannigan.) We cut to Triple C... COLE Interesting. COACH Like this guy!! *camera shows the ring announcer standing in the ring with a mic and as he speaks the camera pans over to the entrance way.* Ring Announcer: The falling match is scheduled for one fall! *all of a sudden that song “Bird is the Word” hits the arena* Ring Announcer: Making his way down the aisle from Union City, Tennessee… *a big fat out of shape Blackman in colorful parachute pants comes out from the back with a parrot on his shoulder* Koko B. Ware!!!! *the crowd erupts in cheers as the man slowly makes his way down to the ring while the parrot ruffles its feathers and does other parrot things. He goes around to the back side of the ring and places the Parrot atop a giant bird stoop located next to the time keeper’s table.* Coach: Once again the OAOAST brings you the finest in athletes! Caboose: Are we promoting that Fat Albert movie or something? *Koko enters the ring and his music stops* Ring Announcer: And his opponent…from Newark, New Jersey *ABBA’s Dancing Queen hits as the lights dim and strobe lights fill the arena. The crowd starts booing in unison as an old Hippy appears at the entry way* The 70s Dude!!!! Caboose: Now we’re talking! Cole: The 70s Dude had an impressive debut last week against Barry Horowitz. We’ll see how he does against a high flyer like Koko though. *The 70s Dude makes his way into the ring where Koko awaits and the bell sounds as the ring announcer leaves. The two tie up to begin with and Koko puts a standing side headlock on The Dude. The Dude backs Koko off the ropes and Irish whips him into the far side. Koko comes off and is greeted with a shoulder block sending him hard to the mat. The 70s Dude brings Koko to his feet and proceeds to scoop him up and body slam him. He follows that up with a leg drop across B. Ware’s chest.* Coach: The Dude is really doing a number on Koko. *The Dude once again brings Koko to his feet and hits him with an overhand right before hooking him up and hitting him with a snap suplex. The Dude drags Koko’s strewn body 3 feet from the corner and proceeds to dance his way to the second turnbuckle. The crowd begins booing heavily as the Dude does a nifty~ dance on the middle turnbuckle to show up his opponent.* Coach: He should be putting B. Ware away and focusing on dancing later. This could come back to bite him in the rear. Caboose: Its over, let the man dance for his people! *The Dude stops dancing and proceeds to jump off the middle turnbuckle with a legdrop…but Koko rolls out of the way leaving The Dude to fall hard ass first on the mat. The crowd erupts in cheers as The Dude gets to his knees favoring his back and bottom.* Cole: Listen to these people! Caboose: Ignore the people! Put him away Dude! *Both the Dude and Koko reach their feet at the same time. The Dude rears his fist back and goes for a hard right but its blocked and Koko hits him with one of his own, The Dude tries again and is greeted with the same results sending him to the mat. Koko brings The Dude to his feet and sends him into the ropes, the Dude bounces off, Koko leapfrogs over him, The Dude bounces off the far side and is greeted with a dropkick. The Dude stumbles back and proceeds to fall out of the ring backwards between the middle ropes.The Dude lands hard on the outside and starts to crawl to the time keeper’s table. The Crowd is going crazy as Koko does the Dirty Bird and then heads to the outside to extract more punishment on The Dude.* Caboose: Get up Dude! This is no way for a savior to be treated. Coach: He doesn’t look like much of a savior at the moment Boose! *The Dude pulls himself up with a folding chair and then grabs it as Koko makes his way over. He turns and readies to swing the chair at B. Ware but Koko is ready and kicks Dude right in the gut causing him to drop the chair to the floor and lean across the time keeper’s table. Koko looks down at the chair and then to the crowd who is going absolutely nuts at this point. He lifts the chair and does the Dirty Bird as The Dude slowly recovers and catches his wits. Then Koko lifts the chair above his head and swings it right at The Dude…who ducks it by falling backwards causing Koko to give a massive chair shot to the Parrot he brought down to ringside!!!!! The crowd starts chanting “Holy Shit” in unison.* Cole:…Oh my god Caboose: Hahahahahaha!!! Coach: We need parimed…er…a veterinarian down here! *Koko drops the chair in shock and looks at his feathery friend who’s now lying on the concrete below in a heap of blood and feathers. Koko gets to his knees in disbelief* Cole: We need help down here now! Caboose: I don’t know if Disco is dead but that bird sure is. Coach: Caboose, that is extremely offensive at best! I’ll be praying for that bird’s safety tonight. *The Dude takes the steel chair as Koko is still in shock over what happened, climbs with it to the apron, places it under his arm and proceeds to run across the apron and dive off of it with the chair, sandwiching Koko’s head between steel and concrete* Coach: Does this man have any regard towards life? *The Dude brings Koko to his feet and rolls him back into the ring, then follows him into the ring. The Dude gets up and brings Koko to his feet once more, kicks him in the abdomen and then readies him for the Draft Dodger!* Caboose: This is it. He’s about to join his bird in the hospital here. Coach: Caboose, please! This is a very serious matter…just look at Michael Cole! He seems frozen over these events. Cole: I just want this day to be over with. *The Dude lands the Draft Dodger and covers Koko* 1! 2! 3! *The Dude gets up and raises his arm while the ring announcer proceeds to call out his victory.* Coach: I can’t believe what we just witnessed here…we’ll be back after this! (fade to commercial) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2005 COLE Josh is getting his work in tonight! CABOOSE Well he sucks! COLE He's also in the back with The Phenom! Josh? (shot: Backstage. Josh Matthews is with The Phenom, who is in a suit.) MATTHEWS I'm Josh Matthews, here with The Phenom, who will take on Devin Geddon at Sunday's AnglePalooza. Phenom, how do you feel about having to have a Number One Contender match, while Geddon didn't? PHENOM Well, Josh, sometimes life isn't a bed of roses. In this case, life is a pile of (bleep). A big, festering, pile of (bleep). And this Sunday, at AnglePalooza, I want to take that (bleep) and smear it in Devin's face. MATTHEWS Now, we've heard you've become friends with Matthew Harms. (crowd gives heat) MATTHEWS (cont.) Is this true? PHENOM Does it matter who I make friends with? We're talking about a match here! MATTHEWS I... PHENOM Listen, this Sunday, I am going to take "Arma" Geddon down a... SUDDENLY! Geddon attacks! The interviewing place has become a WarZone (tm WWE, Inc.)! MATTHEWS This is J-Math....soiled! The shot cuts to the ring. "WHO'S THE BADDEST CHICK????!" The arena lights drop and Ashanti's "Only U" hits the PA system. A deep red hue settles on the HeldDOWN set and a series of pyro sparks go off in front of it, starting from opposite ends of the stage and converging in front of the entrance. Suddenly, a stream of red spotlights flood the arena and begin roaming the crowd as on stage, Tina emerges through a thick cloud of smoke. She gets a respectable pop from the crowd as she walks out to the top of the ramp and pauses, taking in the crowd's reaction. Tina inhales deeply as she looks to her left, then to her right, then down at her feet as she places both hands on her head and begins to run them through her blood red hair. After frizzing her hair up, she tosses it back and thrusts her arms into the air... *BOOOOOM...BOOOOOM...BOOOOOOOM...BOOOOOOOOOM...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!* ...and more pyro sparks begin to fire down from the rafters behind her. She flashes an angelic smile into the crowd before starting down the ramp to ringside. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and has a 10-minute time limit. Currently on her way to the ring, hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in tonight at 175 pounds, she is the self-proclaimed BADDEST CHICK, and the Superwoman of Pro Wrestling...TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! She continues down the ramp, tagging the hands of a few ringside fans before sliding under the bottom rope and jogging over to a far turnbuckle. She climbs to the second rope and pumps her fist into the air, eliciting another pop from the crowd as the ring is practically engulfed in a bevy of camera flashes. After a few seconds of playing to the crowd, Tina hops down from the buckle and looks across the ring at her opponent, who stands in the corner opposite her--a blonde-haired Japanese woman wearing a pink bodysuit with black trim and tassels around her shoulders and upper thighs. Additionally, she's wearing black kneepads and boots, and pink kickpads over her shins. BUFFER And her opponent, representing the HI-YAH promotion, she hails from Kyoto, Japan and weighs in tonight at 153 pounds, please welcome SAIONJI AAAAKIIIIIIKOOOOOOO!!!!! Akiko raises her right fist into the air, getting some applause from the "smarter" portion of the crowd, but not much of a reaction otherwise. COLE Women's action here tonight on HeldDOWN as Tina does battle with HI-YAH's Saionji Akiko. For Tina, this is her first time in action after suffering an eye injury back in November at the hands of Kevin Yancy Taylor. She was in an intergender battle against Illuminator 1 when Taylor had the audacity to shatter a light tube right over her eye. It was disgusting! CABOOSE Oh now wait a minute, Cole! You know as well as I do that Taylor was acting only in self defense! I mean, really--as great as Taylor is, the man is not a trained wrestler! He's not skilled in combat, and this roided up bitch tried to take advantage of him-- COLE Taylor had been interfering all throughout that match...at one point he even slapped the woman, and you're gonna sit there and tell me that Tina was at fault here?! CABOOSE Yes I am, because Tina's proven to be nothing more than a bully here in the OAOAST, picking fights with people that she knows can't defend themselves. She's done it with Rick Heyross...she's been tormenting Taylor ever since he got here! Taylor was just fed up with Tina and her constant bullying, and he decided to put his foot down! The bitch got exactly what she deserved. COLE Oh, don't be ridiculous! Tina...enough of Taylor, let's talk a bit about her opponent tonight! Saionji Akiko from HI-YAH! Caboose, what can you tell us about Akiko? CABOOSE Well, if Tina was looking for someone to bully tonight, she certainly ran into the wrong person, because Saionji Akiko is no joke in that ring. She's a multiple time HI-YAH Women's Tag Champion with Funaka Kumiko, and she's also had a little MMA and kickboxing experience. So this should definitely be a challenge for Tina. The lights return to normal and "Only U" begins to fade out as Tina and Akiko meet in the center of the ring, where they're given their instructions by referee Charles Robinson. After the instructions are given, both women slap hands, and Robinson calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE There's the bell! This thing is officially underway. The two women circle one another warily, each contemplating their method of attack. Tina sets herself low and extends her right hand forward, wiggling her fingers as she prepares to lock up with Akiko. But as soon as Tina gets within striking range, Akiko fires a kick her way, forcing her to jump back to avoid it. Tina resets herself and tries to move in once again, but Akiko fires off another high kick to keep her at bay. A slight chant of "TINA, TINA" can be heard from the right side of the arena as Tina circles her once more, looking for an opening. Akiko flashes a smile Tina's way and motions for her to to "C'mon," and Tina obliges, extending her right hand forward once again as she inches closer and closer to her opponent. Again, once Tina's able to get within range, Akiko fires off another kick, but this time, Tina manages to catch it and put Akiko on her back with a back heel trip. The crowd pops as Tina tries to cinch up on the leg--perhaps looking for a half crab or STF--while from the canvas, Akiko fights her furiously--kicking, scratching and doing whatever she can to escape from Tina's grasp. Eventually, Akiko manages to catch Tina in a triangle armbar, at which point Tina, realizing she's in trouble, makes a mad dash for the ropes, scratching and clawing with all her might before finally being able to hook the middle rope with her left hand. The referee taps Akiko on the shoulder to signal the break. She releases the hold--almost immediately--and returns to her feet, leaving Tina in a kneeling position with a look of relief on her face. COLE Great ring presence by Tina there...able to force the break. CABOOSE Yeah, but that look on her face tells the story, Cole. I think she's just realized that she's in there with the real deal! A few fans at ringside begin clapping in unison in an effort to rally Tina as the confident Akiko--who's pacing the ring with an extra bounce in her step after the first exchange--again motions for her to rise. A scowl forms on Tina's face as she rises to meet her foe, only to be caught with a vicious kick right to the calf. A second kick to Tina's upper thigh causes her to reel back into a near corner, at which point, Akiko moves in and catches Tina off guard with a quick collar and elbow tie-up, pushing her up against the turnbuckles. Akiko leans all of her body weight in on Tina as referee Robinson comes in once again and taps her on the shoulder. ROBINSON C'mon, Saionji, she's in the ropes! 1...2...3...4... Akiko breaks on four, holding up her opened palms to signify a clean break. A look of frustration crosses Tina's face as Akiko backs out to the center of the ring and motions for her once more. After taking a moment to shake her leg loose, Tina charges in at Akiko, only to find herself facefirst on the mat courtesy of a drop toe hold. Akiko grabs an armbar, causing Tina to slap the mat with frustration. She grits her teeth and balls up her fist as she works to force herself back up to a vertical base, but Akiko only allows her to make it back to a kneeling position, at which point she steps over the arm and--with her back facing Tina--begins delivering a series of short mule kicks, catching her several times in the upper lip and right across the bridge of the nose. "Ooohs" and "aaahhhs" can be heard throughout the crowd as Akiko lays the stiff kicks into Tina. Then, she scissors up on Tina arm and does a forward roll, flipping Tina over into a cross armbreaker. Tina cries out in pain as Akiko cranks back on the arm, but luckily for her, she's close to the ropes, and is able to wrap her legs around the bottom rope. Once more, Robinson steps in and taps Akiko on the shoulder, and she reluctantly breaks the hold. COLE Thus far Saionji Akiko has been one step ahead of Tina. Things aren't going well for the Superwoman here in the early going. CABOOSE That's an understatement if I ever heard one! She's being taken to school Cole! Tina's bleeding slightly from her nose as she sits on the canvas seething with anger. She wipes her nose with her forearm then tries to push herself back to a standing position. Before she's able to to get her feet in under her, though, in comes Akiko to catch her with a hard kick to Tina's left shoulder. She follows that up with a hard strike to the trapezieus muscle before grabbing Tina's left arm and using it to drag her back to her feet. Once Tina's vertical, Akiko slowly winds up on an arm wringer, yanking down on the arm twice before cinching up on another armbar. Then she presses the flat of her boot against the back of Tina's knee, forcing the taller Superwoman back down to a knee, which allows her to transition the armbar into a top wristlock. Tina's grimaces as Akiko applies pressure to the hold, and she presses her free hand up against Akiko's jaw in an effort to try and cause some separation. By now, the fans are beginning to heat up once more, clapping in unison as they attempt to rally Tina back into the match. Their support appears to do some good as Tina plants her right foot and tries to force her way back to her feet. Akiko tries as hard as she can to keep her down but finds herself unable to match Tina's power. In one motion, Tina pushes herself back to her feet and shoves Akiko to the mat with such force that she does two backward rolls before tumbling through the ropes and crashing onto the arena floor. The crowd ERUPTS as Tina angrily glares down at her opponent, breathing deep, rapid breaths as the fans begin to chant her name once more. On the outside, an incredulous Akiko pulls herself back up to one knee, her jaw agape and her eyes practically bulging from their sockets. COLE Can you believe that display of strength on the part of Tina?! CABOOSE (scoffs) Ah, she pulled the hair and you know it. COLE She pulled the...(flags) I'm not even gonna argue with you. Tina able to force her way out of that top wristlock and send Saionji Akiko sailing halfway across the ring and to the outside...and judging from that look on her face, I can imagine that that young lady hasn't experienced anything quite like that before! Wow! Tina walks over to the ropes by Akiko and motions for her to bring it, garnering a slight pop from the crowd as she backs her way out to the center of the ring. Akiko is quick to oblige, pushing herself back to her feet and sliding back into the ring, where she charges at Tina and catches her on the jaw with a hard forearm! Tina responds with one of her own, and the two women trade STIFF forearm shots back and forth, driving the crowd into a frenzy. COLE This thing is starting to break down here! Tina and Akiko trading blows in the center of the ring... CABOOSE This is a mistake by Akiko! Tina's got that stregth advantage; her shots are gonna have more power--SEE! No sooner than those words escape Caboose's lips, Saionji Akiko begins to stagger, and Tina puts together a string of HARD forearms that send her smaller opponent staggering back into the ropes. Tina follows her in and buries her knee deep into Akiko's midsection before whipping her into the opposite ropes. Tina goes up for a leap frog as she comes off, but Akiko baseball slides underneath and comes to her feet behind Tina. Upon landing after the leap frog, Tina herself runs into the ropes and rebounds with a sunset flip...but Akiko manages to roll through and catch Tina with a front dropkick right to the face. Tina falls flat onto her back, and Akiko runs and leaps onto the middle rope, springboarding off for what looks to be a Lionsault...BUT TINA MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!!! Akiko's able to adjust and land on her feet, but she soon finds herself right back on the canvas courtesy of a Tina double leg takedown. With Akiko's legs hooked, Tina rolls forward for a jackknife cradle...shoulders are down... CROWD 1...2.... NO~! Akiko counters, rolling Tina over into a sunset flip-style pinning combination for... CROWD 1...2... NO~! Tina--kicking her legs wildly--manages to shift her weight and counter into another jackknife cradle! Akiko's shoulders are down once again... CROWD 1...2... NO~! Akiko counters back into the sunset flip pin, but this time, it's Tina who manages to roll through and catch Akiko with a vicious kick right to the sternum. Akiko clutches at her chest as Tina, looking to follow up, reaches down and grabs Akiko by the hair...only to find herself pulled down into an inside cradle!!!! CROWD 1...2... NO~! Tina's able to kick out, and both women scramble back to their feet. Once vertical, Akiko moves in and tries for a front toe kick, but Tina knocks it down and blasts Akiko with a hard forearm to the face. The blow staggers Akiko, and Tina, looking to take advantage, hits the ropes opposite her and comes off with a clothesline--BUT AKIKO DUCKS, hooking her left arm under Tina's armpit as she goes underneath and pivoting back around to pull Tina into a front facelock. From there she maneuvers her around and drops her with a Rude Awakening-style neckbreaker. Tina's head snaps violently from the impact of the move, and with the Superwoman lying prone on the canvas, Akiko heads over to a nearby corner, climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and leaps off, connecting with a picture perfect leg drop right across Tina's throat. Lateral press by Akiko... 1... 2... NO! Only TWOOOOOOO~! Akiko uses Tina's hair to bring her back up to a seated position. *CRACK* CROWD WHOOOOOOOOOO~! HARD knife-edge chop between Tina's shoulder blades, which is followed up by a vicious kick right to the spine. Akiko then grabs Tina's arms and applies a cross-armed choke. Akiko grits her teeth and widens her base as she cinches up on the hold. Thinking quickly, Tina falls flat to the canvas and do a backwards roll towards Akiko, breaking her grip as she rolls back to a vertical base. Snap mare by Tina brings Akiko over into a seated position, at which point Tina wraps her up and falls back to the canvas with a figure four headscissors. The crowd pops in the background as Tina grabs her left foot with her right hand and pulls back on it as much as she can, increasing pressure on the hold. Referee Robinson is right there to see if Akiko wants to submit, but at the moment, there's no quit to be found in her. Instead, she manages to roll Tina over onto her stomach, at which point she does a headstand and forward roll onto Tina's back, putting herself in perfect position to lock in a camel clutch. The crowd gives a respectful round of applause as Akiko cinches back on that hold while beneath her, Tina contemplates her method of escape. She manages to work her left knee under her, then does the same with the right. From there, she hooks Akiko's legs and proceeds to push herself back up to a standing position. The crowd pops as Tina returns to her feet, her opponent riding her piggyback-style, the hold still locked in. And with Akiko pulling back on her chin with all her might, Tina decides to throw it in reverse, driving Akiko spine-first into the turnbuckles once...twice...three times to force the release. Tina stumbles out to the center of the ring as meanwhile, Akiko leans up against the corner, her face twisted from the pain in her lower back. When Tina turns to face Akiko, though, the former HI-YAH Women's Tag Champ springs to life, firing out of the buckle and rocking Tina with a forearm shot that sends her sailing into the ropes! However... *WHAM* Tina's able to rebound with an ULTRASTIFF~! lariat, turning Akiko inside out! The crowd pops once more as Tina springs back to her feet with fire in her eyes. COLE Dear God what impact by Tina! Saionji Akiko damn near got her head taken off by that lariat, and listen to this crowd! That look in Tina's eye tells the story! Tina is feeling it! Indeed. Akiko groggily stumbles to her feet, at which point, Tina charges in and catches her with a dropkick, sending her rolling back to corner. Akiko quickly scrambles back to her feet, only to be met by a high kick from Tina that knocks her into the buckle, at which point, Tina begins to go to work, unloading with a series of forearms and knife edge chops to the face and chest respectively. Then, Tina whips her HARD into the opposite buckle, causing the ring to shake violently from the impact. Akiko staggers back out to the center of the ring, her back arched and a grimace etched on her face. Unsypathetic, Tina takes her by the arm and flings her right back into the original buckle, causing her to bounce off with tremendous force and stagger right back out into Tina's waiting arms. The crowd pops big as Tina scoops her up into Gorilla press position, parading her around the ring as camera flashbulbs begin to light up the arena. Tina then turns to the man camera, pressing her opponent once...twice...three times before dumping her right down right onto her back. Akiko has a pained expression on her face as she sits up on the mat, favoring her lower back. She has no time to tend to it, though, as Tina quickly hits the ropes opposite her and catches her on the rebound with an inverted somersault neck snap. Tina quickly makes the cover...hook of the leg... 1... 2... NO!!!! Just a two! Tina rolls Akiko over onto her stomach and drives her right knee into her lower back! A second time causes Akiko to cry out in pain. Then, with her knee firmly planted on her opponent's back, Tina takes Akiko's right arm, crosses it around her (Akiko's) throat and begins to pull back on it. Akiko kicks and flails her legs wildly as referee Robinson kneels down beside her, asking her whether or not she submits. COLE Submission hold applied here by Tina. She's got Akiko's arm crossed around her throat...almost a bow-and-arrow effect here as Tina cranks back on that head and arm. We could have a submission here! Before that happens, however, Akiko manages to squeeze out from underneath Tina's knee and roll to her right side to lessen some of the pressure. Her arm is still crossed around her throat as she rolls back to a seated position, at which point, Tina lifts her up off the canvas and scoops her onto her shoulders torture rack style. CABOOSE What the hell??? COLE Another display of strength by Tina here as she lifts Akiko up onto her shoulders...that arm still crossed over Akiko's throat! What's Tina going for here??? We'll never know, as Akiko catches Tina with a left hand to the top of the head before flipping out of her clutches and back to her feet. She then tries for a roaring elbow, but Tina throws up both forearms to block it, then catches her with a boot to the midsection before sending her towards a corner for an Irish whip. Akiko's able to leap up onto the second rope to avoid the impact, however, and when Tina charges in from behind, she catches her square in the face with a mule kick. A second causes Tina to stagger, at which point, Akiko pivots around and nails her with a front dropkick from the second rope. The fans give another respectful applause as Akiko returns to her feet, measuring Tina as she struggles to return to hers. She hits the ropes and comes off at Tina with a full head of steam...ONLY TO BE DRILLED BY A SNAP POWERSLAM FROM THE SUPERWOMAN!!! SHE HOOKS THE LEG... 1... 2... 3--NO!!!!! Just TWOOOOOOO~! COLE Tina...what a beautifully executed powerslam that was, and 'Boose, she was only a heartbeat away from ending this thing. Tina grabs a handful of hair and uses it to bring Saionji back to a vertical base. Tina then fires off a European uppercut that staggers the HI-YAH star, which is followed up by a running shoulderblock that knocks her back into a corner. With Saionji lying groggily up against the turnbuckles, Tina decides to head over to the corner opposite her, where she turns to the crowd and snaps her fingers, causing them to rise. CABOOSE Oh no! Not this! COLE Shades of her sister here. With the fans cheering her on, Tina lines Akiko up and charges her way for a double handspring elbow....ONLY TO CATCH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE HEAD FOR HER TROUBLES! A stunned Tina goes down to one knee, clutching at the back of her head as she tries to regain her bearings. Akiko's right back on her before she's able to, slapping on front facelock and lifting Tina high into the air before driving her down to the mat with a brainbuster! CABOOSE That's it! That'll do it! COLE Tina just got dumped on her head with that brainbuster! Akiko makes the cover...she could have her here... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! NO!!!!!! Tina forces her shoulder off the mat at the last possible second! Akiko looks frustrated as she turns her attention to Robinson as if to question his count! COLE Tina just barely getting her shoulder off the mat before the three, 'Boose! And the look on Saionji's face tells the story. She thinks she had it won there! CABOOSE And she did, Cole! You know there's no way in hell Tina could've survived that! Especially with her history of head injuries! COLE Well she survived it alright, and this thing is still underway! And Akiko has to be asking herself just what she needs to do to defeat the Superwoman! CABOOSE We just saw it, Cole! She'd have won it with the brainbuster if this...this...racist official didn't let his bias get in the way! COLE Oh will you stop?! Akiko brings Tina back to her feet, catching her with two kneelifts before dragging her back to the corner with a front facelock. She then climbs up onto the second rope and pumps her fist into the air, receiving a mixed reaction in return from the capacity crowd! COLE Akiko with Tina here...looks like we've got a tornado DDT coming up! Yes, but as she pushes off the ropes, Tina catches her by the waist and swings her out to the center of the ring, gentley dropping her down onto her feet before bringing her over with a northern lights suplex! The ref gets down to count, but Tina rolls through, however, dragging Akiko back to her feet, where she takes her over with another nothern lights suplex! Tina holds her grip and rolls through again, bringing her back to her feet for northern lights suplex number... CROWD THREEEEEEEE~! ...as the crowd counts along. Tina's still not done, and rolls through AGAIN, bringing her to her feet for suplex number... CROWD FOOOOOOURRRRRR~! She rolls through AGAIN, and by now, the fans are starting to come to their feet, cheering Tina on as she delivers suplex number... CROWD FIIIIIVVVVE~! Tina's STILL not done, and rolls through again. She's tiring somewhat, and this time, it takes a little more effort to muscle Akiko--who's pretty much dead weight at this point--off the canvas. She does it, though, and manages to whip her opponent overhead for suplex number... CROWD SIIIIIIIX~! And Tina's gonna try it one more time. With the waistlock still applied, Tina rolls through and muscles her back to her feet once again. This time, Akiko attempts to combat the move by firing off a series of knees to Tina's forehead. Unfortunately for her, she's been weakened to the point that those shots don't have anything behind them, and she finds herself easily taken over for northern lights suplex number... CROWD SEVEEEEN~! ...after which, Tina kips up off the canvas and does a little curtsey for the crowd, which shows its appreciation with a big round of applause. COLE Tina with seven northern lights suplexes delivered to Saionji Akiko! Saionji's down in the center of the ring, and now...where's Tina going? Is she going up top? Apparently so. With Saionji lying motionless on the mat, Tina heads out to the apron and begins her climb, with the fans clamoring and taking pictures as she heads up rung by rung. Once she's reached the top rope and has managed to steady herself, she slowly begins to stand upright, raising her hands high into the air, with her index fingers pointed toward the heavens. Then, she takes flight, springing off the top with a beautifully delivered flying elbow drop right to the heart of Akiko! Akiko's body quivers from the impact to the maneuver, and Tina causually tops her with a lateral press for... 1... 2... 3!!!! NO!!!!!!! At the last second, Akiko rolls her shoulder off the mat, surprising Tina and many in the crowd. The stunned Superwoman turns to referee Robinson, who slaps the palm of his hand three times to reiterate his call. COLE Robinson letting Tina know that it was only a two...I don't think she can believe it, 'Boose. CABOOSE It's her own fault for not hooking the leg! As much as I hate to say it, had she hooked that leg, she might've had this thing, Cole...but she didn't, and now the match must continue. A sinister look settles in on Tina's face as she looks down on her foe, who's moving slightly as she lay on the canvas. Perhaps out of frustration, Tina straddles her opponents body and begins laying into her with STIFF right hands...to the jaw, to the forehead...to the bridge of the nose! Referee Robinson admonishes her for her use of the closed fist, but she shrugs it off as she brings Saionji back to her feet. Akiko's barely able to stand as Tina blasts her with a European uppercut, followed by a HARD knife edge chop! Tina with an Irish whip sends her into the ropes, and she catches her on the rebound with a big BAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP that nearly launches her into orbit! Akiko's body hits the canvas hard as Tina turns to the crowd, her hands on her hips and her chest heaving in and out as she breathes deep, heavy breaths. She then turns back to her fallen opponent and flashes a smile before raising her index finger into the air and waving it in a circlular fashion. The crowd begins to clamor. COLE Oh boy, 'Boose! You know what that means, don't you? CABOOSE If there's God in heaven, it means she's getting ready to head out back and hang herself. COLE Stop it! Tina's calling for it! The DDTina is coming up! Yes, and with the crowd cheering her on, she lifts Akiko's body off the canvas and tucks her head with a front facelock. She has a look of intensity in her eyes as she glares into the main camera and... COLE This is it! ...suddenly, slips Akiko her head free from Tina's grasp and falls into a seated position between Tina's legs. Before Tina can react to the move, Akiko figure fours her hands around Tina's lower leg and scissors up on Tina's thigh, bringing the Superwoman down into an Achilles Lock! Tina begins screaming bloody murder as Akiko leans back as far as she can to apply pressure to the hold! COLE Oh my goodness, ladies and gentlemen! Saionji Akiko with the counter...she just countered out of that DDTina attempt into this Achilles lock submission, and she's got Tina in trouble! Tina's writhing in pain...I can't believe it! Tina extends her hands forward, clasping for the ropes or anything to grab onto, but finding nothing in her reach. Akiko tweaks Tina's ankle, causing her to cry out once more. The pain's so unbearable that Tina begins yanking at her own hair as she tries desperately to block it out. Referee Robinson is right there beside Tina, asking her whether or not she wishes to give in. "NO, NO, NO, NO," screams Tina, choosing rather to try for a counter. With the vast majority of the crowd rooting for her, Tina begins to rock her body to the right, trying as hard as she can to roll over and thus increase her chances of making it to the ropes. And with the crowd clapping and stomping as hard as they can, Tina... ...MANAGES TO ROLL OVER ONTO HER STOMACH! The crowd pops as Tina tries to pull herself toward the ropes; unfortunately, Akiko's still got her hooked, and she's not going anywhere! To make matters worse, Akiko transitions into an STF, and Tina cries out again as Akiko begins to crank back on her head and neck. With tears now beginning to stream down her right cheek, and her teeth grinding so loudly that viewers at home can hear it even over the loud screams of the capacity crowd, Tina raises her right hand off of the canvas... COLE Wait a minute!!! Don't tell me she's gonna... ....opens her palm... CABOOSE She's gonna tap, Cole! She's gonna tap!!! ...AND... "PLEASE DON'T TAP!!! PLEASE DON'T TAP!!!! PLEASE DON'T TAP!!!!" ...TINA... ...CLINCHES HER FIST AND PUNCHES THE CANVAS!!! She then presses her forearms up against the mat and tries once again to drag herself to the ropes. COLE No she's not tapping! Tina's gonna give it one last try to escape this thing...AND SHE'S GOT IT!!!! TINA'S IN THE ROPES! Indeed! Tina manages to pull herself within reach and clasp the bottom rope with her right hand, at which point, referee Robinson moves in and calls for the break. REF. ROBINSON Break it up! 1...2...3... Akiko releases the hold on three as an exhausted Tina collapses to the mat, inhaling and exhaling deeply as she attempts to get some air back into her lungs. She has no time to rest, however, as Akiko is right back on her, grabbing her by her left leg and dragging her back out to the center of the ring. There, she rolls Tina over onto her back and attempts a spinning toe hold, but Tina rolls onto her side and kicks her away before she can apply pressure. Undaunted, she grabs the left leg once more and goes for an ankle lock. This time, however, as she struggles to apply the hold, Tina manages to get her free leg under her and do a forward roll, bringing Akiko over with a victory roll cradle for... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* **Cue "Only U" BUFFER Here is your winner...TIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNAAAAAAA~! CABOOSE Bull! COLE Tina with that victory roll manages to pick up the hard fought victory over HI-YAH's Saionji Akiko! What a match that was! Back and forth action all throughout...counter wrestling was the name of the game here, 'Boose, and it was that beautiful counter to the ankle lock that allowed Tina to pick up the win here. CABOOSE Yeah, well...I'll give her credit. I won't deny the woman's effort, Cole, but even you--as biased as you are-- COLE ME?! CABOOSE Yes, you! Cole, you have to admit that there was a lot of luck involved in this win for Tina! COLE I dunno if I'd say that... CABOOSE C'mon, Michael! Even Stevie Wonder could see that Saionji Akiko outclassed Tina in every way here in this match. If Tina hadn't got lucky and scored that cradle, I think we would've had a different outcome here. COLE Well...I wouldn't go that far, but I'll agree that this one could've easily gone either way. Quite the showing by both women in this match. The ref is tending to Tina, who's seated up against the ropes holding her right shin. Suddenly, Saionji Akiko approaches her. CABOOSE Wait a minute, Mikey! This thing may not be over yet! Tina looks a bit nervous as Akiko towers over her, unsure of just what her actions will be. Tina slowly draws back her right hand, clinching her fist in anticipation of an attack. That isn't Saionji's intention, however, as she extends her hand forward for what appears to be a handshake. Tina eyes her suspiciously, still unsure as to whether or not she can trust Akiko. Slowly, she unclinches her fist and moves it forward, cautiously taking Akiko's hand in hers...and accepting the shake. The crowd applauds once more as Akiko helps Tina up off the mat and raises her arm in victory! COLE Well how bout that? Nice display of sportsmanship...er...sportswomanship??? Whatever the hell the PC thing to say is these days, it's good to see! CABOOSE Speak for yourself. Right now, if I was Akiko, I'd have hit her so hard... COLE Hey now, wait a minute! What's he doing out here?! The crowd begins to be as the camera focuses on the entrance, where Kevin Yancy Taylor stands at the top of the ramp with a mic in hand. Tina shoots him an evil glare from the ring as he applauds her from the ramp. TAYLOR Well, well, well! Look who's back! (chuckles) Tina...my dear, I must commend you! That was an absolutely...SMASHING performance, if I may say so myself! TINA (grabs a mic from Buffer) WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, TAYLOR??! TAYLOR What do I want?! What do I want???! Why Tina, I'm just out here to congratulate you on your win! Honestly...I mean...Winnipeg! I'm sure you agree! Didn't Tina look wonderful in there tonight?! Huh? Wasn't that performance just...just delish?! The crowd pops somewhat in the background while in the ring, Tina just rolls her eyes. TAYLOR Yes, I knew you'd agree! Tina...that performance was just beautiful...but as beautiful a performance as it was...it's beauty just PALES in comparison to your...your...incredible physical beauty! COLE WHAT?!?!?! CABOOSE ...has he been drinking? TAYLOR I mean it! You look absolutely FABULOUS tonight! Honest! Why...is that a new hairstyle??? It is SO you! Honestly! Why, Tina...if I wasn't married... TINA You're NOT married! Your wife dumped you, remember??? The crowd pops in the background as Taylor looks down at his feet, a scowl forming on his face as he takes in that last comment from Tina. He takes in a deep breath and as he exhales, he looks up at Tina and flashes a cheesy grin! TAYLOR Yes! And she has a great memory, too! Isn't that just lovely? I mean...beauty, strength and intelligence...Tina, my dear, you are the total package! I mean it, and I just wanted to come down here tonight in front of these lovely fans and...and show my appreciation to you! TINA (scoffs) Is that right? Taylor nods affirmatively from the ramp, and goes as far as to get down on his knees and bow to Tina. She just laughs as she begins to pace back and forth about the ring. TINA Well then, YANCY (giggles), I appreciate your appreciation. And I can see where you're coming from, too! I mean really...me being the Superwoman...THE BADDEST CHICK in this industry, how could you NOT appreciate me! Huh? TAYLOR My sentiments exactly! (bows to Tina again) TINA Right! And ya know, Kevy, with all the talk going around about me with the boys in the locker room...ya know, me being the "DOORKNOB" of the OAOAST and all...(Taylor laughs nervously) I get the feeling that you may have gotten the wrong idea about me! So let me set the record straight right now when I tell you that as kinky as I may be, Taylor, if there's one thing that I *HATE*, it's having somebody blow smoke up my ass! Don't think for one second that I can't see through all your half-assed compliments, Taylor! I know you like I know the back of my hand...and you should know that I haven't forgotten that light tube shot I suffered at your hands a couple of months back! I haven't forgotten that surgery I had to have as a result, and I damn sure haven't forgotten the two months I had to spend away from this business because of YOU! And ya know what else I haven't forgotten, YANCY? Huh? I haven't forgotten about that little challenge you made to while I was out on the injured list! The crowd begins the clamor in the background while on the ramp, a nervous Taylor seems to freeze up. TAYLOR Ch-ch-ch-ch-challenge?! Challenge?! Wh-what challenge?! Why, Tina...whatever do you mean... TINA PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASE, Taylor! I know you haven't forgotten! You and your rugged manliness, right?! You're such a manly man that I'm afraid to step into the ring with you? Well Taylor, here I am, and if you were man enough to call me out, then why don't you bring that rugged manliness of your down to this ring so that we can settle this thing RIGHT NOW! The crowd pops once more in the background. Chants of "TINA" break out at various parts of the arena as Taylor does what he can to quiet the fans down! TAYLOR Now, Tina...listen to reason... TINA Oh wait a minute, Taylor! You mean to tell me that you can call me out when I'm injured, but when I get back you wanna back down?! TAYLOR No, not at all! I'm Kevin Yancy Taylor...I'd never back down. It's just...well... ...there's this problem with my appendix and...doctors say it'll take months...years...decades to heal! (crowd boos) Hey, hey! This is a serious medical condition here! I assure you that any other time, I'd be more than happy to take you on and give her the thrashing of her life! But unfortunately, I'm not in the condition right now, so Tina, you're just gonna have to wait! (crowd boos again) COLE Unbelievable! Just unbelievable. CABOOSE Yeah. I'd just like to encourage all fans out there to send all your cards and letters to "Get Well Taylor." P.O. Box 973... COLE Oh will you be serious?! CABOOSE What do you mean?! The guy's clearly in some intense physical anguish...you should get him a puppy, Cole! COLE I'll...(sigh) I'll pass. TINA So that's it, eh Kevy? I've gotta wait months...decades... TAYLOR Possibly even millennia... TINA (Smiles) I see! Suddenly, Tina drops her mic, climbs through the ropes and hops to the outside. TAYLOR Hey wait a minute! Where are you going?! Where... The crowd pops big as Tina starts up the ramp towards him, a sinister smile on her face. Taylor's face becomes flush as he notices her coming his way, and he extends his opened palm towards her in an attempt to stop her. TAYLOR Now w-w-w-wait a minute now! I already told you that I'm not in the condition! I already told you that my...my back...I mean...my...my leg--SOMEBODY STOP HER!!! SECURITY!!!!! SECURITY!!!!! Taylor turns and tries to run to the back, but Tina sprints after him and catches him by the back of his sportscoat. The crowd goes wild as she starts dragging him back down the ramp towards the ring. CABOOSE Now this isn't right, Cole! She's picking on an injured man! COLE Tina's got her hands on Taylor! Tina's dragging Kevin Yancy Taylor back down to the ring... CABOOSE See what I was telling you before, Cole?! She's a bully! Nothing but a bully! Taylor catches hold of the guardrail on his way down the ramp, and clings onto it in an effort to prevent her from getting him to the ring. Unfortunately for him, Tina manages to pry him off of it with ease, and drag him down toward the ring apron, where she rolls him into the ring. The crowd pops once more as Tina rolls in after him, chants of "FUCK HIM UP, TI-NA, FUCK HIM UP" *CLAP, CLAP* echoing throughout the arena. Tina's grinning from ear to ear as she approaches Taylor, who comes to his knees and extends his opened palm once more. TAYLOR Wait a minute, Tina, wait! You...you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, now would you? Taylor suddenly pulls a pair of shades out from his pockets and puts them on, doing his best Stevie Wonder impression as he sways his head from side to side while clapping rhythimically. This doesn't work either, as Tina rips the shades from his face and snaps them in two to another crowd pop. She then grabs Taylor by his shirt collar and yanks him back to his feet... COLE Oh boy! Taylor's gonna get it now! ...but before she's able to do any damage... THE ILLUMINATORS sprint out from the locker room and attack her from behind! The crowd boos wildly in the background as they knock Tina to her knees and begin putting the boots to her, allowing Taylor to roll out of the ring and hide out on the floor! COLE Damn it! The Illuminators have assaulted Tina from behind! What a couple of no good, cowardly sons of bitches... CABOOSE Cowardly?! Did Tina or did she not just try to attack an injured man! COLE There's nothing wrong with the son of a bitch, and you know it! Tina's being worked over in the ring! This isn't right, damn it! The Illuminators' suits flash rapidly as they lift Tina back to her feet and send her into the ropes for a double Irish whip. As she comes off, they lower their heads for a double back drop, but Tina has it scouted, and winds up catching them both in front facelocks and driving them to the mat with a double DDTina! The crowd erupts in the background as Tina springs back to her feet, glaring down at her foes with a look of hate. COLE Double DDTina! The Illuminators have just been laid out with that Double DDTina! CABOOSE Watch Taylor! The crowd begins to stir in the background as Taylor slips back into the ring with a light tube in his hand. He signals for the crowd to "shush" as he creeps up behind Tina with the weapon. COLE Oh no! Don't tell me we're gonna have a repeat of what went down in November! Damn it, Tina, look out! The crowd gasps collectively as Taylor gets within striking range and winds up with the tube... ...BUT TINA DUCKS THE SWING AND DROPS HIM WITH A RIGHT HAND! The crowd goes crazy as Tina mounts Taylor on the canvas and begins laying into him with rapid-fire right hands to the temple and to the side of the head. COLE She got him! Tina's finally gotten her hands on Taylor, and she is beating his ass in Winnipeg! This crowd is absolutely going crazy, 'Boose! This crowd-- CABOOSE IT'S BROOOOOOOOCK~! COLE What?! Suddenly, Brock Ausstin sprints out to the ring, catches Tina by the hair and flings her off of Taylor, drawing boos from the crowd. A stunned Tina returns to her feet and faces Brock...only to get FLOORED by a Clothesline of Mass Destruction! Taylor sits up on the canvas, a smile on his face as he looks over at the fallen Tina, then up at Brock, who extends him his hand and helps him back to his feet. COLE Brock Ausstin has come to the aid of Kevin Yancy Taylor! He just laid Tina out with that clothesline, and what the hell is he doing now?! What are they gonna do to Tina. Chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" are starting up in the background as Taylor reaches down and picks up the light tube. He looks down at Tina, who's stirring somewhat after the clothesline, then points her out to Brock before handing him the tube. COLE Oh no, Brock! Don't do that! Don't! The chants grow louder as Brock slowly wraps his fingers around the glass tube and takes it into his hand. With Tina now beginning to pull herself up to her knees, Brock flashes a smile, and slowly begins to wind back with the tube... COLE Oh no! No! Taylor is beaming as Brock brings the tube back as far as it can go...AND SWINGS... *CRASH* HITTING TAYLOR RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!!!!!! CABOOSE WHAT THE HELL??!?!?!?! COLE HE HIT TAYLOR!!!! BROCK JUST HIT TAYLOR!!!! The crowd noise is deafening as Brock scoops Taylor up in a fireman's carry and drops him with an F-STUNNER-5!!!! He springs back to his feet and lets out a monstrous roar, beating on his chest as the crowd gives him a standing ovation. "Punishment" hits the PA system, and Brock leaves the ringside area and heads back up the ramp toward the locker room. COLE I can't believe what we've just witnessed, fans! Brock Ausstin has just turned his back on Kevin Yancy Taylor! Brock has just laid out his manager... CABOOSE How could he?!?!? How could he do such a thing...TO AN INJURED MAN! COLE He is not...well...maybe he is after that, but... CABOOSE He'll pay for this! I promise you that Brock Ausstin is gonna pay for what he's done to Kevin Yancy Taylor!!!!! Mark my words! *cut to commercial, maybe that Orange Clean one* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2005 YOU GOT THE TOUCH! YOU GOT THE POOOOOOWER! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! The Touch by Stan Bush plays to little fanfare. The brand new entrance doors slide apart allowing the Fanboiz to step out from the back. As usual the Nerdly twins are outfitted like complete disgraces to the wrestling industry. Marvin The Marv Nerdly is dressed like Triple H, only he forgot Hunter’s tan, muscle mass, tights that fit, and appearance that’s not vomit inducing to anyone who isn’t into protruding pubic hair. Melvin Hell Mel Nerdly is wearing lavender trunks that are way too tight and generally looks like the type of guy that would get gang-raped by the Mexican Mafia on his first day in an LA jail. COLE Alright! The Fanboiz! Super! Terrific! Out of sight, friends! COACH Man, shut up. Honestly. The Fanboiz? Super? Don’t be absurd. They’re lower then Phoenix on the jobber totem pole. Tom Goran is The Rock compared to these morons. Fuck them. That’s right. Coach said “Fuck”. ‘Cause Coach is the man, son, and he say what he wanna say. And what he wanna say is Fuck the Fanboiz. Their TV time would be better served with a bra and panties match between Crystal and Holly-Wood. COLE Marvin and Melvin could be the next 1-2-3 Kid! I think this could be their big break. CABOOSE Yes there could be a big break. In their legs and their arms and their noses and their jaws. They could wrestle Delta Burke and Dixie Carter for all I care, they’d still lose. It just so happens that they’re fighting the two best wrestling musicians in the country tonight. COLE The Saints are also the only wrestling musicians in the country. COACH Oh I don’t know about that. After spending some time with Tyler Hilton, I’d say that’s one singer who know’s a thing or two about giving low blows. HOLLA~! CABOOSE Tyler Hilton? Coach, I hope to god you meant Paris Hilton.... BUFFER The following tag team contest is for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes. Now making their way to the ring...from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.... The fans see through the OAOAST’s cheap ploy to get the Fannies some face heat and boo the shit out of the normally revered ring announcer, overwhelming his introduction and forcing him to stop altogether. The brothers hit the ring, pitifully oblivious to the fact that absolutely no one wants to watch them wrestle. They climb to the opposite corners of the ring and hold their skinny arms in the air. Smiling and looking incredibly cheerful, their positive mood deflects the shouts of “GO HOME!” and “DIE!” that the Winnipeg fans pelt them with. The Touch ends and is replaced with alt rock legend, Nirvana’s Heart Shaped Box. The crowd directs their venom away from the Fanboiz and towards one of the most self centered teams the OAOAST has ever employed, The Saints! With the sorrowful rock song tearing through the arena, the Heavenly Rockers emerge from the back. Neither recording artist is dressed for athletic competition. Synth sports a pair of torn up jeans and a Pearl Jam t-shirt with beer stains all over the front. His pale cheeks are covered with lipstick, left from kisses by the numerous groupies he entertains on the tour bus. His entire body reeks of marijuana, hard liquor and perfume. Logan is shirtless, his coffee colored skin shimmering from body glitter, but he to is wearing blue jeans. Their image consultant, Holly-Wood, stands behind them, looking non to pleased at having to accompany the annoying performers to the ring. COLE Folks, The Saints’ manager Jim Cornette signed both the New New Midnight Express and The Saints up for a warmup match to prepare themselves for Anglepalooza. I guess this is Logan and Synth’s chance to work out a few kinks in their strategy. BUFFER And their opponents. From Sin City, accompanied to the ring by their Image Consultant and OAOAST Women’s Champion Holly-Wood, weighing a combined 448 pounds, Jim Cornette Enterprises and Arista Records present the self-proclaimed greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all time, Synth Esizer and Logan...THE SAAAINTS! Realizing the camera is on him, Synth stops to talk a bit of trash to the Midnights. “Ned Flanders and Simon “Mah last name ain’t Cowell” Singleton, ah hope ya’ll is watchin. Because what goes down tanight against these scrubs is what’s gonna go down against ya’ll at Anglepalooza! Dat’s what Synth Esizer the Mesmerizer is sayin’ ta ya’ll! Deal wit dat!” Synth-o-rama leans in close and proceeds to lick the camera lens like it was pussy. CABOOSE Alright Cole. Coach and I were talking it over and we think that a tape recording of various sayings by rapper/producer Lil Jon would be as effective, funnier and cheaper in your commentating spot. And we managed to convince the Board to let us test our theory for one match. And this is that match. COACH Buh-bye! (Before a dejected Cole can even launch a decent argument in his defense, Coach shoves poor Michael out of Sofa Central. Mike hangs his head low and slinks over to Buffer, unable to believe his betrayal at the hands of his comrades. Caboose puts a Thomas the Tank Engine tape player onto the announce table and sets a microphone in front of it.) COACH Lil Jon? Are you ready? LIL JON TAPE RECORDING LET’S GOOOOOOOOO! COACH Great. Logan Mann and Hell Mel Nerdly will be the ones starting for their respective squads. Settle in fans, we’ve got a good one coming up! *dingaling!* We start the contest with Hell Mel smacking the shit out of Logan! He just slugs him right there in the jaw! Logan staggers backward consumed by the pain in his mouth and the thoughts of having to pay a visit to a dentist. Mel takes hold of Mann’s arm and goes for a whip, but Logan reverses it and sends Mel running to the ropes! Upon Mel’s comeback, Logan gives Mel a taste of his own medicine with a left hook to the nose! Hell Mel drops to the mat like a chopped oak tree! “PEACE UP!” Logan rudely informs his rival for the night, who has no idea what ‘peace up’ means. Drawing strength from Logan’s taunting, Hell Mel KIPS UP....RIGHT INTO A CLOTHESLINE! LOL DOUCHEBAG! The unfeeling crowd of course laughs at poor Mel’s whimsical misfortune. And who can blame them? The slovenly loser just rolls around on the mat, sobbing and begging for Mama Nerdly to come and rescue him from the evil rocker that has every intention of beating him to a bloody pulp. LIL JON TAPE RECORDING BACK UP BITCH! GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY! MOVE THE FUCK BACK, BITCH! COACH I’ll say! Logan smoked him with that clothesline! Hell Mel tried to kip up but you can’t bring that noise into the ring with Logan Mann opposite you! Smiling brightly because he assumes this match is pretty much over, Logan attempts a pin. UN DEUX LE KICK OUT! CABOOSE Simon Singleton would’ve kicked out before the ref even got to one. I would’ve kicked out before Nerdly even knew he was going to pin me. This is a fact. Both wrestlers stand up. Despite just eating a lariat, the Fanboiz member stands up first and hits Logan in the stomach with a knee! Surprised, Logan doubles over and Hell Mel is able to take him down to the mat with a super quick gut wrench suplex! Mel stays on his enemy and brings him upright. He stuns him with a number of forearms to the face, then drops him with a body slam! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant a sarcastic group of hecklers in the first few rows. “ARRRRRRGGGGH!” Mel screams, drawing zero heat from those fans who aren’t facetiously egging him on. LIL JON TAPE RECORDING BITCH I AIN’T SCARED! BITCH, I AIN’T SCARED, MOTHER FUCKER! CABOOSE I don’t think Logan is either! You can’t be afraid of the Fanboiz when you have to face the Midnights this Sunday. Hell Mel grabs Logan into a chinlock. There really isn’t any exciting way to describe a chinlock and Logan doesn’t exactly make the best effort to sell the move. It’s also worth noting that Mel very audibly says “Sidewalk slam me”. Logan mounts a comeback against Mel’s submission. His face scrunches up like he’s passing a dog sized turd, as he slowly stands up and peppers the elder Fanboi with elbows to the ribs! Eventually the hold is broken and guess what? Logan hits a sidewalk slam! Surprise! Surprise! Didn’t see that one coming. Logan jumps up and bows to the less then adoring patrons. COACH Just like he was performing in Carnegie Hall! “LOGAN LIP SYNCS!” alleges a possibly drunk Mad Cappa from his ringside seat, leading the fans to chant his unfounded allegation. “LOGAN LIP SYNCS! LOGAN LIP SYNCS!” The Saints good looking lead singer grabs a hold of Mel’s legs! Mel wiggles his body, trying to free himself but to no avail! He gets slingshotted to the corner! But showing awesome ring awareness he lands on the turnbuckle! With determination burning in his hazel eyes, he flies off with an axe handle smash! BUT Logan counters with a spinebuster that shakes the ring with its sickening impact! Pleased with himself, Logan looks over to Holly to see if she was impressed by the fierce move. Disappointment and jealously stirs within him as he finds her focus is on debating wether The Clash is a better band then The Ramones with Synth and not on what he considers to be his amazing performance in the ring. COACH That Holly sure is hot. Deadly. But hot. A playa needs to be packin two types of heat when you roll with her. Cool. LIL JON TAPE RECORDING BOUNCE THAT ASS UP AND DOWN, MAKE A NIGGA WANT IT! CABOOSE Couldn’t have said it better myself. Logan heads to his corner and brings the pro-Clash Synth Esizer into the match with a tag. Synth steps through the ropes and finds himself greeted by a number of brutal jeers and accusations of bestiality from the audience. Pushing their cruel words out of his mind, he heads over to Mel. The little drummer boy grabs a front face lock and looks for a vertical suplex, but Hell Mel is quick to counter with a snap suplex of his own! He rolls through the move, stands up, and puts Synth back on the mat with another snap suplex! Mel floats over for a cover! 1 KICK OUT! Crowd: SYNTH SUCKS! SYNTH SUCKS! SYNTH SUCKS! “Dave Grohl, you aren’t!” A lardass fan with an ugly (is their any other kind?) mullet insults Synth. Mel brings the Saints’ drummer to his feet and hurls him into the Fanboiz corner with a violent whip! Mel follows Synth and tags in The Marv! Marvie Mar, steps into the battleground, determined to wow the crowd with a dizzying array of offensive strikes. He and his twin begin to double team poor Synth with swift kicks to the stomach! Elderly referee, Clem Boxerfeller steps in between Hell Mel in hopes of restoring order to this exciting contest. The ref’s distraction proves to be deadly to Synth, as Marvin rakes his eyes across the rope, sending a burning sensation throughout his face! Synth drops to mat, clutching his injured face and The Marv raises his hands in glorious triumph! LIL JON TAPE RECORDING WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK HO, YA’LL PUSSY LIKE BITCHES! CABOOSE No doubt. The Fanboiz have to earn respect around these parts. Excellent point, Lil Jon tape recording. Not wanting to waste any energy, The Marv lets Synth bring himself to his feet. When his enemy reaches an upright position, The Marv unloads on him with alternating left and right hooks! Synth stumbles to the side, barely able to stay on his feet. The Marv buries a kick deep inside his abdomen! Synth coughs wildly as his eyes fill with water. Marvin Nerdly grabs the Saints' founder into a front 3/4 facelock then hits him with the Afterschool Special(Inverted Stunner)! Synth topples to the mat, seemingly defeated by the Fanboi’s finisher! The Marv goes for a pin attempt! 1.... 2..... KICK OUT! The audience who despise both the Saints and the fact that they’ve been forced into watching the Fanboiz wrestle, boo the kickout but can’t help but be impressed that the Fanboiz almost got an upset victory. COACH Aside from randomly being awarded two tag team title shots, The Saints haven’t reached the upper echelon of tag teams despite garnering quite a bit of attention from our fanbase. Lil Jon tape recording, your thoughts? LIL JON TAPE RECORDING GRAB HIS DICK, ITS YOURS, BITCH! CABOOSE Exactly. The Saints can’t wait for someone to hand them title shots or big money matches, they need to be proactive. They need to grab what they want. They need to go out and make things happen. Well said, Lil Jon tape recording. Sometimes I don’t think The Saints put in the type of effort they need to in order to climb to the top of the tag team mountain. Both fighters are on their feet! Marvin spins behind Esizer and hooks his arms between Synth’s! The Nerdly twin starts to twist the Synthanator around for an Unprettier, but the flamboyant rockstar turns the tables and scores big with a splendid trapping suplex! The attack sends Marvin flying to mat and he lands right on top of his oversized, misshapen head! COACH Marvin is down! Synth is barely moving! Synth slowly crawls to his corner in order to increase the almost non existent dramatic tension. Eventually he makes the tag with Logan! Full of fire, the cruiserweight hops over the ropes and proceeds to CLEAN HIZOUSE~! on his fellow cruiserweights. COACH Logan is playing with power! The Marv is the first to feel the wrath of Mann as he takes a viscous clothesline! Hell Mel comes rumbling into the ring ready to defend his family’s honor! He charges at the sparkling celebrity with a shoulder block, but his momentum is turned against him as Logan sends him flying with a belly to belly suplex! Mel rolls out of the ring, both unwilling and unable to face Logan head on. Marvin stands up slowly, unsure of how he is going to handle the one man wrecking crew he’s faced with. Logan sweeps behind him and catches him with a cobra clutch! The Marv screams like Logan just destroyed his Family Guy DVDs! With the fans solidly against him, Logan tightens the hold, forcing Marvin to submit! *ding ding* LIL JON TAPE RECORDING YA’LL HOES AIN’T SHIT! COACH I have to believe that Ned and Simon are thinking the same thing. They’re probably saying they could’ve beat the Fanboiz in a couple of minutes as opposed to the eight it took The Saints. Synth slides into the squared circle and high fives his victorious bandmate. Logan turns around to accept congratulations from Holly, but having fulfilled the extent of her contractual duties she’s halfway up the ramp ignoring the mini victory party in the ring and aggravating her younger client with her absence. CABOOSE The Saints picking up a..ah screw it, they half assed this match, but why shouldn’t they? It’s the Fanboiz. They suck. They can go through all the dumb name changes they want, but the bottom line is they’re still jobbers. COACH I agree but in fairness I thought they held their own. CABOOSE They did. But only because The Saints sleepwalked through the match. Synth didn’t even wear wrestling gear! Whatever. Not the best choice for a warmup match. Special thanks to Lil Jon for managing to be a million times more insightful and entertaining then Cole and thanks to that stupid kid at Denny’s who I swiped the tape player from. COACH Stealing SO OWNS~! COLE Uhh, no criminals here!! No sir! CABOOSE But Cole, what about all those bootleg copies of u2's new CD you-- COLE HEY, HOW ABOUT WE GO TO JOSH MATTHEWS AGAIN?!? We cut to AJ Flaire walking down the hall, but being stopped by Josh Matthews J-MATH AJ Flaire! AJ! I’ve got one quick question to ask you! AJ Make it quick Josh; I’m on my way to Watts’ office. J-MATH AJ, last week you were brutally attacked by Drek Stone during an interview. This Sunday many are saying that you aren’t ready to return, and that Drek is the firm favourite for the Championship match. Your thoughts? AJ My thoughts? What the hell do you expect me to say to that Josh? I can’t convince anyone that I’m ready by talking; I can only convince them by action. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do this Sunday at Anglepalooza. I want to PROVE that I’m back. I want to PROVE that I still have it. And I want to show that by doing more than simply pinning the Heavyweight Champion. J-MATH What do you mean? AJ Josh, I’m going to do something extra special. Something I did one year ago, in fact, to bring home the X-Title. Only this time, the stakes are bigger. Only this time, the caliber of opponent is greater. Only this time, the win means more to me than any other victory in my career Josh. This Sunday at Anglepalooza, I’m not going to just beat Drek Stone, oh, no. I’m going to make Drek Stone say those magical words… “I QUIT!” The crowd roars at this statement, and Josh seems taken aback by AJ’s new confidence and edge. J-MATH So, you’re saying… AJ Exactly Josh. I’m on my way to see Bill Watts now, because this Sunday its going to be AJ Flaire versus Drek Stone, one on one for the OAOAST Championship – in an I Quit Match! J-MATH Oh my… you’re that intent on beating Drek? AJ I have to Josh. I have to prove myself. I’m going to make him say it, I’m goingt o make Drek SCREAM it. Now that right there Josh, THAT is Phenomenal. Excuse me. AJ Flaire leaves Josh Matthews to ponder what has just been said, walking down the corridor toward Bill Watts’ office. Suddenly, a dark voice causes AJ to stop. VOICE You really think you’re going to beat Drek? The voice steps out of the locker room to reveal the man monster JINGUS, standing there in all his glory, starting a hole in AJ Flaire. JINGUS You think you can just walk in here and take a title shot? I haven’t had a title shot in over a year now, and you think you can walk in here and take one? AJ Look, shouldn’t you be playing push me pull me with Bondage boy? I don’t have time for you big man. JINGUS Well you’d better make time for me AJ, because if you don’t, thing are going to get messy in here, and I won’t be the one screaming bloody murder. AJ You want it that way? Alright. I’ve decided to make an early comeback. Tonight, in the ring, AJ Flaire… versus you, JINGUS. Looks like I can do that now, considering the creative clause in my new contract. In fact, that’s what I was going to see Watts about now. So I’ll see you in the ring big man. Jingus snarls at AJ as the Phenomenal One walks off and into Bill Watts’ office as we cut back to sofa central. CABOOSE He’s crazy – taking on Jingus before his title match? COLE I gotta agree with you there Caboose, crazy. COACH In any event Ladies and Gentlemen, you may notice the non appearance of two superstars from our show. In preparation for the Rumble, both Axel and Crystal have taken a week from live events to prepare for their big match this Sunday at Anglepalooza. CABOOSE (muttering) Or to spend a week riding Kangaroo Mountain... COACH What? CABOOSE Oh, nothing. COLE Well this Sunday is Anglepalooza guys, and what a Main Event we have lined up! It’s the Anglepalooza Rumble match COACH Fifteen of the top OAOAST Superstars all vying for a spot in the biggest match of the year – the Main Event at AngleMania Four. COLE Zack Malibu, Dan Black, T-Bod, Axel, Crystal, Brock Ausstin, Leon Rodez, Panther, Alfdogg and more will be in the match this Sunday, and what a match it should be! COACH Certainly Michael Cole, there are so many possibilities for a winner here, but it all depends on what number you draw. COLE Yes, the higher the number, the higher the chances of victory! What a Rumble it should be, live, this Sunday, on PAY PER VIEW! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2005 "China Girl" by David Bowie hits, and Frisco and Lobo step onto the stage, posing menacingly as their charge, tiny female Candace, steps onto the stage and begins her march down to the ring. The crowd boos slightly, but the newcomer has yet to get a real reaction as Funyon announces her to the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first, weighing in at one-hundred and twenty-one pounds, she hails from OOOOH-ki-NAAAA-wa, Japan! Being accompanied to the ring by Frisco and Lobo, she is CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! Candace slides into the ring, posing for the crowd. COLE Welcome back to HeldDown, folks, and right now the SWF's former token Chinese girl, Candace, is approaching the ring for our next contest, apparently featuring Calvin Szechstein... "THREE-TWO-ONE!" "I'M THE BOMB!" Electric Six's "I'm The Bomb" can barely be heard over the LOUD boos, as the aging former leader of Totally Endorsed, Calvin Szechstein, steps out onto the stage, wearing... COACH Oh... my God. CABOOSE You must be kidding me. Szechstein is dressed in a SpongeBob SquarePants getup, and on his back is a large movie poster which reads, "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE: COMING SOON TO DVD". The typical cocky swagger of Szechstein's is missing, and he walks glumly to the ring, open season for the parade of laughs surrounding him. He slides into the ring, staring at Candace with a solemn, but angry, look on his face. BUFFER Weighing in at two-hundred and forty-one pounds! He hails from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and he wants to remind all of you to buy the SpongeBob SquarePants movie, coming soon to DVD. He is CAAAAAAAAAALVIN SZECH-STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIN! "FAAAAAAAAAAG - GOT! FAAAAAAAAAAG - GOT!" CABOOSE Listen to this crowd mock Szechstein! They're eating this up, those dirty... COLE Hey, 'Boose, that's their perogative. *DING DING DING* Referee Nick Soapdish calls for the bell, and Szechstein's instincts take over. The ex-champ begins circling, knowing that he has the experience edge on the younger Candace. Candace, however, is quick, and uses her speed to fall back into the ropes and come charging at Szechstein, looking for something to utilize her speed... *WHUMPH!* ...only to get PASTED to the mat by a vicious lariat from Szechstein! The crowd's chuckles at Szechstein become booing at Szechstein's sudden mean streak, but Szechstein just ignores the catcalls, grabbing Candace by the hair and lifting her to her feet once more. Szechstein knees the lightweight in the stomach, wrapping one huge arm around her neck and grabbing her by the top of her skirt, lifting her high up into the air in vertical suplex position! Szechstein holds her there for a few moments, listening to the boos rain down as he holds her up, up, up... *BOOM!* ...before falling back, driving her tiny frame into the mat with a stalling suplex! COLE Szechstein having absolutely no trouble in the early going, but who knows how long that'll last!" Szechstein gets to his feet, his breathing slightly heavier as he reaches down and grabs Candace once more, lifting her up and whipping her hard into the ropes. Candace hits them hard, and as she comes back Szechstein bends down, looking for a back-to-belly piledriver... but Candace is not THAT dumb, and she kicks Szechstein square in the jaw! Szechstein pops up, surprised by the newcomer's quick thinking, and the crowd begins popping as Candace falls back into the ropes, coming at Szechstein and leaping into the air, wrapping her legs around Szechstein's head and snapping him over with a nasty hurricanrana! Szechstein hits the mat hard, and Frisco, Lobo, and the rest of the crowd begin roaring as Candace gets ON TOP (double entendre~) of Szechstein, looking for the pin! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THR --" "Are you fucking kidding me!" Szechstein cries out, throwing his shoulder up. The crowd lets out a steady stream of boos, and Candace levels a stiff forearm shot to Szechstein's face for good measure before getting to her feet, prepping for her next attack! COLE I don't know how he got those bulky SpongeBob shoulders off the mat! As Cole and Coach guffaw, Szechstein gets to his feet, obviously a bit upset about the last attack, and he turns to go after Candace... only to catch a boot SMACK in the giant smiling face, courtesy of a snazzy Yakuza kick from the Japanese beauty! Szechstein falls back to the mat, clutching his face in pain, and the arena goes wild, looking for Candace to make the pin and put the former World champion away! Candace gets on her knees beside Szechstein, but she gets back to her feet, deciding instead to go HIGH IMPACT! She gets to her feet, going over to the turnbuckle and climbing it, much to the delight of the crowd! She climbs to the top, a dazzling smile on her face as she bounces once before leaping off the top rope, flipping over in midair and looking like a guided missile as she heads downward at her target -- Szechstein's midsection! She falls, falls... *BOOM!* ... right into the mat, as Szechstein rolls out of the way at the last possible second! Frisco, on the outside, is furious, and he begins yelling at Candace to "GET UP!", but the only person in the ring that's getting up is Szechstein, as he grabs Candace by the hair, lifting her to her feet. Szechstein raises one arm, signaling for the Code Red Clash, and the crowd begins booing even harder! Szechstein knees Candace in the stomach, doubling her over, and he puts her head between his legs, locking the Japanese girl into a standing headscissors! CABOOSE Szechstein has her set up for the Code Red Clash! THIS WILL BE ALL! But on the other side of the ring, Frisco and Lobo have other plans, as Frisco grabs referee Soapdish by the leg, pulling him out of the ring. Soapdish falls to the mats on the outside, and Frisco yells at Lobo to get into the ring and take out Szechstein! As fast as a four-hundred pound man can, Lobo rolls into the ring. Szechstein can see him, and he shoves Candace away, getting down into a ready position and daring Lobo to come at him. Lobo gets to his feet, falling back into the ropes and coming full-speed at Szechstein, looking to mash the veteran into the mat... *CRACK!* ... but he gets stopped dead in his tracks with the SPRITE SUPERKICK! The four hundred pounder hits the mat hard, and Szechstein glares at him. Through the SpongeBob attire there is rage in his face, and he is absolutely seething as he kicks Lobo hard in the ribs, causing Lobo to roll over onto his stomach! Szechstein grins savagely, straddling Lobo and putting Lobo's arms behind his legs, placing Lobo in camel clutch position! Szechstein grins, linking both of his hands and putting them on the bridge of Lobo's nose, pulling back hard with a nasty crossface! CABOOSE CAMEL CIGARETTES CLUTCH! This hold is DEADLY, and Szechstein has it locked in on Lobo! Lobo begins screaming in pain, his hand tapping against the mat at a rapid pace, but Szechstein refuses to let go, very plainly trying to break Lobo's neck! The large man's face is a mask of agony, but Szechstein shows no mercy, possibly trying to kill the man! Frisco, on the outside, sees both of his proteges in trouble and goes to the announce table, shoving Bobby Riley out of his chair and grabbing it! He folds up the chair, sliding into the ring menacingly! Again, though, Szechstein sees his entrance, and he gets off Lobo and to his feet, staring at Frisco with the cold gaze of a serial killer. Frisco gulps, but proceeds to charge at Szechstein with the chair... and Calvin leaps into the air! *CRACK!* And kicks the chair straight back into Frisco's face with an impressive Van Daminator! COACH VAN DAMINATOR BY SZECHSTEIN! Shocking mobility for a man in a SpongeBob SquarePants group, as this man is absolutely DECIMATING Candace's group -- and the crowd STILL hates him! "YOU'RE A SPO - ONGE!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "YOU'RE A SPO - ONGE!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Frisco falls to the mat, the chair falling out of his grasp as he hits the mat hard! Szechstein grins, looking down at his handiwork, but he sees something that does not please him. Candace is getting to her feet. Szechstein eyes the chair, and he brings it over to the turnbuckle, setting it down near the buckle. Szechstein again smiles sadistically, turning around to Candace and charging the Japanese girl, flattening her once more with a lariat. "YOU'RE A SPO - ONGE!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "YOU'RE A SPO - ONGE!" *clap clap clapclapclap* CABOOSE These fans are showing absolutely NO love for Szechstein! COLE And he doesn't deserve any love! The man is a bastard! He sold his soul for cash, and he expects sympathy when he's forced to look like a fool? This is the price you pay! This man deserves every boo he gets! Szechstein has Candace on her feet once more, and he knees her in the gut, again putting her into a standing headscissors! The crowd boos, but their booing intensifies as Szechstein backs up, bringing Candace with him as he backs into the same turnbuckle where he put the chair earlier. He grins, hopping up onto the turnbuckle and sitting on the top one, grabbing Candace around the waist and lifting her up so that she rests, sitting on his shoulders. COLE He wouldn't... Szechstein stands up on the second rope, keeping his hold on Candace's waist but pushing her down, so that she dangles, Szechstein holding her in such a way that her head dangles around Szechstein's knees. The crowd begins MASSIVELY booing, as Szechstein laughs and jumps off the rope, falling to his knees and... *CRASH!* ... driving Candace headfirst into the chair! COLE SUPER CODE RED CLASH ONTO A CHAIR! COACH Now THAT was just uncalled for! This man is just sick, Cole. CABOOSE Sick or not, look at what he's done tonight! Indeed, a look around the ring shows Lobo clutching his neck on the mat, Frisco twitching in pain from the Van Daminator, and Candace unconscious from the Super Code Red Clash. And Szechstein, standing up. His breathing is slightly labored, but he doesn't care as he calls for a microphone. Funyon tosses his into the ring, and Szechstein grabs it, beginning to speak. SZECHSTEIN So... I guess I... used a chair... twice. DQ me, Soapdish... From outside the ring, Soapdish slides back in, and seeing the chair and hearing Szechstein admit it, the ref calls for the bell. *DING DING DING!* SZECHSTEIN Yeah, yeah... Your winner... via disqualification... Candace!... yay. The crowd pops slightly, but their pops turn to boos as Szechstein continues. SZECHSTEIN She may have won... technically... but we all can see... what happened here... I beat her... I beat her manager... and I beat her bodyguard. Look around the ring, folks... I just took out all three of them. The crowd can see what happened clearly, and all of them begin booing, not approving of the damage Szechstein has done. Szechstein simply ignores them, continuing. SZECHSTEIN No matter what outfit I wear... no matter how people might try to embarrass me... I'm still one of the most dangerous men in the OAOAST. They can try to strip me of my dignity, but they can't strip me of the fact that I'm a former OAOAST World Champion... and the fact that I'm still one of the most dangerous... no, THE most dangerous man in the OAOAST today. Fair warning to all... Calvin Szechstein is back, and I'm not here for money... I'm here to sweat, and I'm here for blood, and most of all, I'm here for respect. "I'm the Bomb" hits again, and Calvin tosses the microphone down, the crowd laughing at Calvin's request for respect while he wears a SpongeBob costume, but Calvin ignores them, exiting the ring as we fade... *to commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2005 (edited) Cut to the ring! BUFFER Already in the ring, at a combined weight of 400lbs, I.Tapout and Please Pinme! Tapout and Pinme, super generic jobber clones fresh from the OAOAST labs, high five and then go into a huddle. Cue: Kiss, "Calling Dr. Love" BUFFER And their opponents, from Chicago, Illinois, at a combiend weight of 440lbs, they are the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions- Dr. Max Anderson, Dr. Stephen Pigley - the LUUUUUUUURVE DOC-TORS! A huge blast of red and white pyro explodes from the stage, and the Docs appear, surrounded by a mass of girls in white nurses uniforms! There's go to be 20 or 30 girls flanking the Docs as they walk down to the ring, huge grins on their faces. The Docs remove their white coats and get a rub down from many, many pairs of hands. They grin in ectasy. Max and Steven finally climb into the ring and display their tag titles proudly. The nurses applaud vigorously, several of the more well endowed girls almost falling out of their tiny tops in the process. Max and Steven wink at each other, and then turn to the challengers. Pinme squares up to Max, who laughs and then SLAPS him down to the mat. The Docs chuckle at this, as Tapout runs over - and eats a double superkick to the jaw! Tapout rolls out of the ring and slumps onto the floor, as our referee, one of the Collosal Kongs, gets Steven out of the ring for the start of the match. *DING DING DING* Dr. Anderson picks Please up and executes a hard back suplex. He climbs to the top rope, and hits a 450 splash (his "Shock Therapy") into the midriff of Pinme, who convulses with pain! ONE! TWO! Anderson picks him up! The crowd, about to pop for the win, falls into an uneasy silence, not knowing what to make of this. Anderson brings Pinme to his feet, double underhooks his arms, and nails- a Pedigree?! Anderson tags in Dr.Pigley. Max holds the totally DEAD Please up, as Pigley executes KICK WHAM STONE COLD STUNNER! The Docs laugh to each other over their stealing of moves, as they bring the unlucky clone back up once more, ignoring the Kong's demands for Max to get out. The Docs face and hold Pinme under each arm, raising him up in the air so his body looks like the letter T, and then slam him down viciously on the back of his head! (Backseat Boy's T-Gimmick) Pigley covers- ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* BUFFER *Subdued* The winners of the match and still HI-YAH champs, the Love Doctors. "Calling Dr Love" plays, as the Docs hug and wipe their brows in mock relief. They step out on to the apron to the applause of the mass of nurses, who then support the Doctors on their shoulders, carrying them crowd surfing style back up the ramp. COLE Phew! Sorry we're late for the match, we were in the bathroom! Together! CABOOSE Yeah, but only to stop you trying to seduce the Sadist. Of all people, Mikey! COACH Anyway, it looks like the Docs just got another big win! COLE And they're getting quite the big attitude too. CABOOSE They're champs, and they're finally starting to act like it. About time. COLE Speaking of time, it's time for something else! CABOOSE Worst link ever. (We go backstage to Bill Watts’ makeshift office. Watts is sitting behind a desk pouring over an insane amount of paper work. He looks like he could use a nap as his face is practically sliding off his bones. Holly is sitting across from him, a total opposite of his stressed demeanor. Clad in ripped up blue jeans and a black halter top, she sits with her feet on his desk and a cigarette hanging from her mouth.) WATTS Holly, please stop smoking. HOLLY-WOOD No. WATTS It’s my duty, both as your employer and your friend to tell you that cigarettes can kill. HOLLY Good. WATTS Madam, please put that cigarette out. (Holly shrugs her shoulders and ends her short protest. She leans over Watts’ workspace, takes the smoke out of her mouth and ashes it on the part of his expensive silver tie that’s lying on the desk.) HOLLY (arching her eyebrow and smiling) Better? WATTS (holding the ruined fabric in his hands and crying on the inside.) A little. Um, we need to talk about what happened last week. And I don’t want you to think of this as boss to employee typical lecturing, because its not. This is a concerned friend laying it out there for you, his friend. Understand? What you did last week to Candie...it bordered on unacceptable. No..no, it was unacceptable. I..I..as a grown man who thought he had seen it all, couldn’t believe my own eyes. I thought they were playing tricks on me. I was ready to call in my retirement because I assumed I was going batty. You tried to carve Candie up like a turkey. And when I saw that, I was at a loss. No matter what your feelings are on someone, you show them a bit of common respect. Okay? This may be a tad on the dramatic side but I felt my rapport with not only you, but the world in general slip away when I saw that. Such carnage was...my world..my world. It hurt me personally. As president of this company, I was wounded by what you did. HOLLY Boo-hoo. She attacked me first. WATTS That’s no excuse! (The door to the office flies open! Bringing with her a hellstorm of fury and outright rage, Candie enters the room. Her fist are tightened into balls, her breath is heavy and her nostrils flare with bitterest scorn. Candie, a volcano looking for a reason to erupt finds it when she sets sight on Holly.) CANIDE You bitch! You cum guzzling, two dollar whore! Why is she here, Watts? How come she still has a job! (Candie moves to enact her dreams of vengeance on Holly-Wood but is caught by an unusually nervous Bill Watts. For her part, Holly is as cool as a spring breeze.) WATTS (putting his hand on Candie’s shoulder) Candie, please. CANDIE (pie facing Watts away from her) Don’t you fucking touch me! Don’t you dare! HOLLY (laughing) Somebody’s a grumpy Gus. CANDIE You...you....SHUT UP! You shut up right now! (Candie nearly manages to overpower Watts, but because her right arm is in a sling, the OAOAST president is barely able to contain her.) WATTS Candie, if you would just take it down a notch. Calm down. CANDIE Go screw yourself! You don’t give me orders anymore. I’ve been calm! Where has it gotten me? I’ve been patient! Where’s that gotten me? What’s that gotten me? Passed over, that’s what! I’m being passed over for brainless Canadian bitches who’s only assets are the 34 DD’s she got on the company’s dime, air headed brunettes with frog faces, fitness model dykes who don’t even like wrestling, oversized she-males who would be better off in a freakshow, and wackjobs like Holly! HOLLY I prefer the term nutcase. WATTS You aren’t helping. HOLLY Not trying to. (Candie is right in Watts’ face and looms larger then the Empire State Building.) CANIDE I’ve done everything this company has asked me to! You know that. They say jump, I say how high? They say run, I say how far? They say go, I say where? They say sleep, I say with who? HOLLY Woah. (Candie appears to be on the verge of a complete breakdown, tears are forming at the corners of her sky blue eyes.) CANDIE I’ve given the OAOAST everything and when I ask for something back, what do you give me? Nothing. Assholes. All of you. I was assaulted last week by this woman. She powerbombed me through a glass entrance door! Came from behind and attacked me. If she had done this to any other woman, Crystal, Tina, anyone, she’d be fired by now. But because it’s Candie. Because it’s Zack’s girlfriend, it doesn’t matter. WATTS It’s not that at all! I’m punishing her! CANDIE How? She’s still the champion. Why don’t you strip of her title? Because if Leon Rodez did that to Chris Bryte you’d have a fit! Strip her of the title, Watts. Do your job. WATTS I can’t do that. It would tarnish the credibility of the belt. If you’re familiar with the Women’s Title, you’d understand there isn’t much credibility to spare. I’m sorry. (Candie solemnly shakes her head while suppressing overwhelming urges to nail Bill Watts with a hard punch) CANDIE Then I’m done with you. (She turns and walks out of the room. She slams the door behind her, causing a picture of Abe Lincoln to fall off the wall and crash to the floor. The glass on the frame shatters like the entrance door did last week.) HOLLY (thrusting a smoke into Watts’ troubled face) Cigarette? (We fade out and Go to break) BILLY MAYS Folks, I'm Billy Mays here for Oxi Clean, and I'd just like to tell you that-- what the hell?! Mays hears stomping and turns around...into a GORE~ from RHYNO!!! HEYMAN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!!!!!!!! VOICE OVER Watch the OAOAST, but also, man, friggin' by the Rise and Fall of ECW DVD. It rocks. (RETURN FROM BREAK) COACH I love that commercial! CABOOSE I'm not sure that was planned. COLE Folks, I just got word that the Women’s Title match at Anglepalooza has been changed to a Five Minutes in Heaven match! Meaning the match has a time limit of five minutes. Candie and Holly have five minutes to pin each other! Five minutes! Awesome, gang! This was done as a way to prevent them from destroying each other in an OAOAST ring! Tubular, gang! Cowbunga, dudes! Surfs up, bros! Hang ten, dogs! COACH You’ve been sniffing used condoms again, haven’t you? COLE So? The cameras pan over the crowd with a "Live from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada" chyron on the top right of the screen. They zoom in on Josh Matthews walking around the crowd with a microphone in his hands. Josh: "C, C, & C! I'm out here to get everybody's word about tonight and Anglepalooza! Let's see! Hmmm......." The fans around him are going crazy just trying to be on the screen! Josh: (Picks a random fan from the crowd) "Hey! How do you think of the show tonight?" Fan: "It's awesom......" Since they happened to be near the front row, The Mad Cappa looks over and snatches the microphone from the fan! Cappa: (Drunk) "Youuu know what?! This shooww shcuks! I'm not out therre to be um...... fighting and shit!" Josh: (Very Disturbed) "Um, Cappa? How did you make it out here? Aren't you suspended?!" Cappa: "Tsk, tsk, tsk Matty! Let me first talk (mocking Canadian accent) 'aboot' the outrageous pricees on this hiot dog! $8! In USA! It's way cheaper!" Josh: "Um, same cost, just different currency exchange moron!" Cappa: "Uh, Inew dat! But really, who wants to be in a town called Winnipeg?!" The crowd cheers! Josh: "These fine people!" Cappa: "I looked into dis town and then it had hitten me! No wonder the Jets left for Colorado years ago!" MAJOR boos from the Winnipeg crowd to the point of near riot! Cappa: (Trying to act innocent) "It's just da truth!" Now the fans are throwing their trash at Cappa while he keeps talking! "I mayabe still suspendededed but me and my lawyer will be fightin this and we found a way. However, to the morons who are confused as to why I'm in a Rumble while suspended is cuz my contract stated that I will be in the rumble and by being illegally suspdended, breach of contract biatch!" Josh: (Trying to leave) "Triple C, back......" Cappa: "One more thing! Why in the hell did Lightning Craptacular just retur....." The audio feed abruptly cuts as the visual feed returns to Triple C argues amongst themselves to silence! No one knows what they are arguing about and they cut to a commercial break! *commercial break* Edited January 28, 2005 by Hoff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2005 JACKIE: Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for PAAAAAAAANTHEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!! ::The fans pop big as "Roc U" by the Young Gunz and Beanie Sigel kicks in over the PA system and the video feed suddenly cuts out to a black and red radar screen, at the center of which, a glowing red Panther's head appears after each sonar revolution. After the seventh revolution, the radar fades away, leaving just the glowing Panther's head. All at once, the head zooms forward, and… BOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! …we're taken back out to the darkened arena, which is rocked by a HUUUUUUUUUUGE pyro blast. A thick cloud of smoke forms at the entrance, and a bright white spotlight emits from the locker room, highlighting Panther's sihouette. The light steadily gets brighter as the cymbals begin to clash in the background, each clash accompanied by a bright red spotlight that highlights a portion of the HeldDOWN set. Finally, at approximately the 23 second mark, the white light begins to flicker and suddenly disappears as the flashing red spotlights converge on the entrance and Panther steps through the smoke. He heads out to the edge of the stage, a smile on his on his face as he takes in the crowd's adulation. Then, Panther pumps his left fist into the air and the red lights disperse about the arena as he starts down the ramp to the ring. The camera cuts to the crowd momentarily, picking up a sign in the nosebleed section that reads "PANTHER FOR PM" before cutting back down to ringside, where Panther tags the hands of a few ringside fans before hopping upon the apron. He pauses momentarily, leaning up against the top rope as a string of camera flashes light up the arena. He chuckles to himself as he looks to his left, then his right before stepping through the ropes and heading out to the center of the ring, where Jackie awaits. She offers her hand for a shake, but Panther brushes her off and sends her to a corner. Then, he turns and takes stance in front of the main camera as, on cue, the ring goes dark, and four white spotlights begin to roam the crowd, getting brighter…and brighter…and brighter before converging on the center of the ring, where Panther snaps his right fist into the air, signaling for more pyro to explode from the ringposts. With the crowd on its feet, Panther walks forward and climbs up onto the ring ropes, raising his right fist into the air as his frame is engulfed by a mass of camera flashes. He then hops down and heads to the other side of the ring, stepping up onto the ropes once more and waving that side of the arena to its feet. The arena lights begin to return to normal as he hops down and heads back out to the center of the ring, where he gives Jackie a handshake and a small hug. He music then begins to fade, and the fans begin to yell at the top of their lungs... "PAAAAN-THER! PAAAAAAN-THER! PAAAAAN-THER!" The chants continue for about half a minute, stopping only when Panther raises his right hand to quiet them.:: JACKIE: Thanks for joining me tonight, Panther. You've got a big weekend ahead of you, boy! Of course, this Sunday night at Anglepalooza, you'll be one of the 15 men entered in that over-the-top rope Royal Rumble for a chance to challenge for the World Heavyweight Title. But that's not all you've got in store for you this Sunday on PPV, because before you make it to the Rumble, you've gotta step into the ring in a 4-Way match--the X-Division Title will be on the line! Your opponents: of course, Leon Rodez, the reigning X-Division Champ... (Crowd pops), your archrival, Chris Bryte (crowd boos)...yeah...and Zack Malibu! ::A ROAR of boos comes up from the crowd at the mention of Zack's name, bringing another smile to Panther's lips. Jackie waits til the boos subside before continuing.:: JACKIE: Rodez, Bryte, and Malibu--unquestionably three of the top superstars in the OAOAST today! Now Panther, in the past, you've made it no secret that you've set your sights on the World Title. You've practically guaranteed that the title will be yours before year's end, and the Rumble could very well be your first big step to accomplishing that goal. However, given the calibre of opposition in that 4-way, I'm sure many people are wondering whether or not you'll adequately be able to prepare for the Rumble. I mean...will you be able to concentrate on the 4-Way without hurting your Rumble chances? Likewise, will you be able to concentrate on the Rumble without hurting your chances in the title match? ::Jackie moves the mouth towards Panther and he takes it from her hand. He looks down at his feet as he begins pacing back and forth about the ring.:: PANTHER: Ya know WINNEPEG... ::BIIIIG POP from the crowd. Chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" spread rapidly throughout the arena, but they die out as Panther raises his hand once more to quiet them. He continues.:: PANTHER: ...everywhere I've gone lately, I've heard the same thing. Everywhere I've gone, everyone I've talked to has asked me whether or not I'm worried about this Sunday night at Anglepalooza! Whether or not I'm worried about everything I've got on my plate! "You've got your work cut out for ya," they say! And ya know, Jackie...standing here before you tonight in front of these people here in Winnepeg...why...I can almost feel where they're coming from, ya know? I mean...before I get to the Rumble...a match in which I've gotta be prepared to go through 14 other guys in order to get a shot at the World Title, I've gotta prepare for another match! And not just any match, Jackie! I've gotta prepare for a match that includes three of the greatest wrestlers walking the earth today...one of them being our so-called FRANCHISE of the OAOAST! I can see how that'd intimidate a lot of people! But the thing is, Jackie...I'm not like a lot of people! Apparently...somewhere along the line, a lot of you out there forgot JUST WHO THE HELL I AM!!! (crowd pops) And ya know...that's cool! It happens from time to time! So for the benefit of those of you who forgot---in the immortal words of Jay-Z...ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF! I AM the Heavy Hitter! I AM THE ALMIGHTY CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS! And if there's one man out there who could come into Anglepalooza against all odds--one man against the world--and come out on top, it's the man on the mic right now. So to those of you who are asking whether or not I'm worried about Anglepalooza! To those of you who wanna know whether or not I'm worried about hurting my Rumble chances by accepting this 4-way, well lemme tell you right here and right now that I AM NOT--in any way, shape or form--worried about my chances for Sunday night! (crowd pops) See, Jackie, you talk about the level of competition in this match, and hey...I'll take nothing away from any of them; they're all fantastic athletes. But I don't care how good they are or how great they may claim to be; I made a promise to myself and to these people that I would let NOTHING stand in my path to Championship Gold, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that that promise is fufilled. If it means I have to step on a few T.O.E.'s in the process, well then so be it! If it means I've gotta break a few hearts by sending Leon Rodez home on a stretcher, well then consider that done too! Bottom line is that when the smoke clears and the dust settles this Sunday night, you're looking at the man who's coming out on top, and like it or not, love it or hate it, there ain't a damn thing that any of you can do to stop it! ::The crowd pops once more in the background. The camera focuses on a sign in the crowd that reads "PANTHER=WORLD TITLE BOUND" before cutting back to the ring, where Panther continues.:: PANTHER: Now as far as the Rumble goes...to the 14 guys in that Rumble, what I'm gonna do right now is put each and every last one of you on notice. I don't care who you are! Whether you're friend or foe! Big or small! If you get in my way, you're going out courtesy of the Champ of Champs. Because again--this is my year, and mark my words that from here on in, things around here will be going MY WAY! And we know why that is, right? (crowd pops) It's BECAUSE THERE CAN'T BE... CROWD ...ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!!! ::The crowd cheers as Panther stands in the ring with a satisfied and determined look on his face.:: COLE: Panther is definitely one of the favorites to win the Royal Rumble this Sunday. He has come close to the world title shot before, most notably as part of the Round Robin Tournament last year, and some experts are saying he may finally achieve his goal of recieving a World Title shot this Sunday at Anglepalooza. CABOOSE: Panther is living in a dream world, guys. Does he really think he has a shot at winning the Royal Rumble this Sunday? Not only is he fighting for the X-Division Title against 3 other men, 2 of which, Zack Malibu and Chris Byrte, are superior athletes and the best the OAOAST has to offer, but he also has to outlast 14 other men in the Royal Rumble. No way is Panther a favorite. PANTHER: So, I’m-- *THWACK!* COLE: What the? What?! What the hell? What the hell? ::The crowd is shocked as Panther has been hit in the back of the head with a steel chair. Miss Jackie exits the ring screaming as Panther’s assailant stands over him victorious. The man is 5’9”, muscular, and is dressed up as Mr. America, wearing a blue mask with a white star in the center, a white tanktop that has the words “MR. AMERICA” on it written in red, white, and blue, white wrist tape, long blue tights with white stripes on it, and blue boots. “Mr. America” continues his assault on Panther, smashing the chair on the back of the Champion Of Champions, showing no mercy, while the crowd boos everything.:: COACH: Hey look it’s Mr. America! Hulk Hogan is in the OAOAST! Hulkamania is running wild, brother! CABOOSE: That can’t be Mr. America, you dingbat! Mr. America is about 2 feet taller, has orange skin, and has wrinkles! MICHAEL COLE: Caboose is right. I’m—I’m—speechless right now! That mysterious masked man has just attacked Panther! He was in the audience all night. This fan jumped over the barricade and into the ring! Where’s security?! Did they see this?! COACH: Well if it’s not Hulk Hogan, then who could it be? MC: I have no clue. Will somebody get security out here? Will somebody take this man away? This fan is brutally attacking Panther, just 4 days from Anglepalooza! CABOOSE: Uh, Cole, I don’t think that a fan. He is awfully muscular for one of our fans. None of the OAOAST fans look that healthy! ::”Mr. America” continues his assault. He drives the chair into Panther’s chest, with Panther screaming in agony the whole time. The crowd is booing loudly, as they too want to know the identity of this masked stranger. “Mr. America” grabs the chair and orders for Panther to get up. The crowd goes crazy, trying to warn Panther of what’s happening, but Panther doesn’t notice this as he slowly gets up.:: COLE: PANTHER! LOOK OUT! BEHIND YOU! COACH: PANTHER! WATCH OUT, PANTHER! ::Panther slowly gets up, and when he turns around, the masked man takes him back down with a chairshot to the skull that causes the crowd to groan.:: COLE: OH MY GOD! WHAT A SHOT! THAT SHOT JUST ECHOED THROUGHOUT THE ARENA! CABOOSE: Whoever this stranger is, he’s doing a good job of lowering Panther’s chances of winning the X-Division Title and the Royal Rumble this Sunday! COACH: Will somebody just tell us who this masked man is and why he has chosen Panther as his target, and why just 4 days before Anglepalooza? CABOOSE: Why, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he is trying to take Panther out of the Rumble. COLE: Could it be that this “fan” wants to enter the Royal Rumble this Sunday? COACH: Why couldn’t he just sign up for the OAOAST like everybody else? Why is he attacking Panther? Why take him out? There are 14 other superstars in the Rumble this Sunday! COLE: I am truly baffled at the appearance of this strange man. ::The masked man throws the chair away and starts putting the boots to Panther, kicking the man when he’s down. Panther is trying to block the kicks, but to no avail. Suddenly, the crowd has a mixed reaction as Stephen Joseph Popick slowly walks to the ring with a smug smirk on his face. “Mr. America” is still kicking Panther in the stomach as Popick enters the ring, which causes the crowd to be even more confused then they are already.:: COLE: And now Stephen Joseph is out here! What’s the meaning of this?! What is Popick’s connection to this masked man? COACH: This just gets weirder and weirder. ::Stephen Joseph commands for the mysterious man to stop. The masked man obliges and steps away from Panther. Panther crawls around the ring trying to get up, as Popick demands that the masked man remove his mask. The crowd starts buzzing as they start to get an inkling suspicion as to who the masked man really is.:: CABOOSE: Guys, I think I have an idea who this man really is. COLE: Oh no. You don’t think… CABOOSE: Yes, I think it is the return of one of the OAOAST greats! ::The crowd buzzes in anticipation as the masked man unties his mask. Popick stands in a corner smiling as “Mr. America” unties the last string and then stands in the center of the ring. A hush silence falls over the crowd as Mr. America puts his head down and slowly removes his mask.:: COACH: This is it. Who is it? Show yourself! Who are you? WHO ARE YOU?!!! ::Mr. America’s mask is off, revealing a shaved head with a line down the middle, the head slowly rises revealing…. …THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!!:: COLE: OH MY GOD!!! COACH: HOLY CRAP! THA PUERTO RICAN IS BACK!!! CABOOSE: YES! YES! YES! I KNEW HE WOULD RETURN!!! HE WASN’T LYING!!! HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH! PRL WOULD NEVER LET US DOWN! HE IS BACK IN THE OAOAST!!! WOOOO!!! COLE: THE DEVIL HIMSELF HAS RETURNED TO THE OAOAST!!! ::The crowd is shocked, giving PRL a “Welcome Back!” pop at first, but then going back to booing and bringing back the “P.R. SUCKS!” chant. Popick stands in the ring laughing as P.R. greets the crowd with a psychotic look on his face, cackling with glee. Tha Puerto Rican throws the mask to the crowd, and then mocks Hulk Hogan by ripping off his shirt and throwing it to the crowd, following by doing several Hogan mannerisms; posing, putting his hand to his ear. Popick joins in, with Panther watching everything still trying to get up. Tha Puerto Rican now has a shaved look with a line down the center of his hair. He is also sporting a goatee. PRL also now has a tattoo of the Puerto Rico flag on his left shoulder and appears to have bulked up a bit since he was last seen.:: COLE: We haven’t seen Tha Puerto Rican since License To Pin on July 25, 2004 when he was introduced as a member of Stephen Joseph’s Inten5e stable! And before that, we saw him on HeldDOWN~! on June 11, 2004 being arrested for assaulting Bill Watts and former OAOAST Director Of Authority Abe Vigoda! CABOOSE: Well, Inten5e is gone, but I guess Tha Puerto Rican has stuck with Popick and vice versa, considering the two of them are in the ring right now standing victorious over Panther. COACH: Popick handpicked Tha Puerto Rican as his “Corporate Champion” but ever since the HeldDOWN~! when P.R. got arrested, he hasn’t mentioned anything about it. I thought he abandoned that idea like the Inten5e. COLE: I guess not. PRL and Popick are standing in the ring right now, having just Pearl Harbor'd Panther! And look at the two of them! Proud of what they done! Proud that they have most likely taken Panther out of the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza and out of the X-Division Title match! CABOOSE: Hey, that means Zack has a better chance of winning the X-Division title if he has to deal with two people instead of 3! ::The crowd is shocked but can still chant “ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE!” Panther is on a turnbuckle, as Stephen Joseph Popick grabs a microphone and hands it to PRL. The crowd boos when Tha Puerto Rican receives the mic. He takes a moment to soak in the boos with an evil smile on his face, and then speaks his first words on HeldDOWN~! since June 11, 2004.:: “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN: FINALLY...THA PUERTO RICAN...HAS COME BACK TO HELDDOWN~!!! ::The crowd greets the catchphrase with boos. The Corporate Champ continues to speak.:: THA PUERTO RICAN: I’m sure all of you thought you would never see me again! I’m sure that all of you thought I would disappear for good. Did you all miss me? CROWD: NO! THA PUERTO RICAN: All you glad I’m back? CROWD: NO! THA PUERTO RICAN: Do you wish I would go away? CROWD: YES! THA PUERTO RICAN: Do you wish I would retire? CROWD: YES! THA PUERTO RICAN: Do you hate me? CROWD: YES! THA PUERTO RICAN: Do you wish I would just die? CROWD: YES!!! PRL: WELL GOOD, BECAUSE I FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ALL OF YOU!!! ::The crowd boos.:: PRL: You people are going to just accept it! I am back in the OAOAST, and damnit I am better than ever! These last 8 months have cleared my mind and made me focus on my mission: and that mission is to become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! ::More booing. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”:: COLE: I never thought I would hear that chant again! P.R.: Chant that all you want, it won’t bother me! I am back and better than ever! And this time I will not let ANYBODY get in my way. I am THA PUERTO RICAN. I AM THE CORPORATE CHAMPION! And the Corporate Champion gets what he wants! And what the Corporate Champion wants is a slot in the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday! COLE: Hey, that’s not fair! PRL has only been here for 5 minutes and he wants to appear in the Royal Rumble Match?! COACH: So that explains why he attacked Panther! CABOOSE: PRL is a genius! He attacked Panther so that he could take his spot in the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday! And it look like Panther is down and out, so I take it that Tha Puerto Rican will be in the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday! HA! HA! This is great! THA PUERTO RICAN: I HAVE BEEN ROTTING IN A JAIL CELL FOR MONTHS! FOR THAT REASON ALONE I SHOULD BE IN THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH THIS SUNDAY! I HAVE BEEN DELAYED 8 LONG MONTHS IN MY MISSION TO BECOME OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! NOW IT IS TIME TO GET WHAT’S COMING TO ME, AND THAT IS A SHOT AT THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! THIS SUNDAY, I WILL BE IN THE ROYAL RUMBLE! THIS SUNDAY, I WILL WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE! AND THIS SUNDAY, I WILL BEGIN MY ROAD TO BECOMING THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! CABOOSE: YOU TELL THEM, P.R.! YOU TELL THEM! THA PUERTO RICAN: Don’t listen to this jabrony over here. ::Points to Panther:: This isn’t the year of Panther! No. 2005 will be THE YEAR OF THA PUERTO RICAN!!! ::Tha Puerto Rican grabs Panther, kicks him in the gut, and gives him the P.R. Nightmare to boos. Stephen Joseph applauds PRL while the crowd taunts him.:: COLE: And there’s the P.R. Nightmare! There’s a move we haven’t seen in 8 months! CABOOSE: Ah, it feels refreshing to see Tha Puerto Rican again! I missed that guy! I am so happy to have him back! COLE: Well, Coach and me disagree on that. COACH: If he brings back Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, then I suppose I could live with Tha Puerto Rican being back in the OAOAST. COLE: COACH! COME ON! THE MAN IS A SICK PSYCHO AND HAVING HIM BACK WILL ONLY LEAD TO PAIN AND MISERY FOR THE MEMBERS OF THE OAOAST! COACH: I’m sorry! Any man who has a woman that hot should be on our show every week! CABOOSE: Agreed. Can’t believe I just said that. ::The crowd continues booing as PRL and Popick pose. Tha Puerto Rican looks at Panther struggling to get up, and spits on his face. Popick tells him to attack Panther again, so P.R. does so. "The Corporate Champion" picks up the dazed and in pain Panther, and lifts him up, placing him on his shoulders. Tha Puerto Rican parades around the ring with Panther on his shoulders, laughing the entire time. The crowd boos. Popick orders PRL to drop him and Tha Puerto Rican does, dropping Panther on his head, completing the Burning Hammer which causes the crowd to groan.:: COLE: GOOD GOD! THAT MAN HAS HAD ENOUGH! SOMEBODY GET THA PUERTO RICAN AND POPICK OUT OF THE RING, THEY HAVE TORTURED PANTHER FOR TOO LONG NOW!!! CABOOSE: HEY, I LOVE IT! THA PUERTO RICAN IS DOING US ALL A SERVICE GETTING RID OF PANTHER AND PUTTING HIMSELF IN THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH! THIS IS A GREAT DAY! OH HAPPY DAY! ::PRL stands over the fallen Panther, and raises his hands in victory. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” once again. Popick grabs the microphone.:: STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR SOON TO BE WINNER OF THE 2005 OAOAST ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH AND SOON TO BE, THE NEXT OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION”, THA PUERRRTTTOOOOO RICCCCAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN: THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP HAS SPOKEN!!! I’M BAAAACCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! ::Tha Puerto Rican grabs the chair and starts beating on Panther once again, with screams coming out of the OAOAST superstar. The Corporate Champion badmouths the Champion Of Champions with Popick demanding PRL continue the attack. Finally, security runs into the ring to stop the carnage.:: COLE: Finally, security steps in! Why would Popick realgin himself with such garbage?! CABOOSE: Easy, Cole. Popick is just looking out for his friends. He's looking out for himself and his friends, and Tha Puerto Rican happens to be one of his closest friends. PRL took the fall for Popick, going to jail when Popick should have, so Stephen repays him by bringing him back to the OAOAST and giving him a slot in the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday! COLE: If PRL is actually in the Rumble, then this is just another example of Stephen Joseph abusing his power! He shouldn't be using his powers as a member of OAOAST Corporate to help his friends! But nevermind that, the fact of the matte is that Tha Puerto Rican has returned to the OAOAST, which means that the entire OAOAST has to be put on alert, because no one knows when or where Tha Puerto Rican will strike next! CABOOSE: Well he most defintley won't strike Stephen Joseph, if he knows what's good for him. P.R. is not dumb, he knows that aligning himself with Popick is going to help his career rather than harm it! And don't forget about The Lightning Crew! What about them? PRL will never hurt those guys! ::”The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick leave the ring, knowing they got a job done. “Know Your Role ‘99” by James A. Johnston starts playing as the crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as PRL and Popick shake hands and leave through the exit. Panther still lies in the ring, struggling to get up, holding his stomach.:: COLE: What an amazing turn of events we have just seen! First, a man dressed like Mr. America attacks Panther. Then Stephen Joseph Popick comes out and reveals that the man is actually “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, who is back in the OAOAST after being arrested and thrown in jail back in June. And then to top things off, PRL attacks Panther, viciously assaulting him with a chair, and then claims he is going to be in the 15 man Royal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! COACH: What a surprise. No one expected Tha Puerto Rican to be in the arena tonight, and furthermore, no expected him to be in the arena dressed as Mr. America! CABOOSE: This was such a beautiful thing we just witness. Tha Puerto Rican promised he would return, and boy did he ever fulfill that promise. Taking out that jabrony Panther, and earning himself a slot in the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza with a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleMania IV on the line! Never doubt “The Corporate Champion”! ::Cut back to Sofa Central with Michael Cole, Jonathon “The Coach” Coachman, and Caboose:: COLE: Earn?! What do you mean earn? Tha Puerto Rican has been in the jail for the last 8 months. He storms into the ring, dressed like Mr. America, attacks Panther when he least expects it, and because of that he “earned” a slot in the Royal Rumble Match? How is that so? Panther has worked his BUTT off to be where he is. In the past year he has been forced to retire but has come back. He reunited with the woman that he loves, and has fended off an enemy that will just not go away! He defeated OAOAST superstar after OAOAST superstar in the Round Robin Tournament. He came within inches of attaining that #1 Contendership during that famous ladder match at World Without End against Drek Stone. He has been denied a title shot time and time again, and frankly, he deserves to be in the Royal Rumble and he deserves to be the OAOAST World Champion more than Tha Puerto Rican does! CABOOSE: Panther’s hardships are NOTHING compared to Tha Puerto Rican’s. You want to talk about Panther being forced to retire? Tha Puerto Rican couldn’t do what he loves to do the most, WRESTLING, for the past 8 months, because he has been IN JAIL! Something he was FORCED to do! You want to talk about love? PRL has been away from the woman of his dreams, the lovely Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, for the past 8 months, because he has been IN JAIL! You want to talk about defeating OAOAST superstar after OAOAST superstar? Tha Puerto Rican has clearly done that, but hasn’t been able to do so for the past 8 months, because he has been IN JAIL! You want to talk about being denied title shots? PRL hasn’t had a title shot in 8 months, because--- COLE: Because he has been IN JAIL! I got it. CABOOSE: So you see, because Tha Puerto Rican has been IN JAIL for 8 MONTHS, therefore he should get a slot in the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! COLE: He may have been in jail for eight months, rotting in a prison cell, but that doesn’t mean he deserves to be in the Royal Rumble. There are plenty of superstars who have been in the OAOAST for the past 8 months who have worked their asses off for this oppturnity. CABOOSE: You can’t see it from my perspective. COLE: I rather not. Tha Puerto Rican is still aligned with Stephen Joseph and Popick still considers PRL his handpicked “Corporate Champion”, the man who he thinks should be the next OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Will Popick's dream of a PRL World Title win soon turn into a reality? Maybe so, if PRL wins the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday, that is if he's even in the Rumble. CABOOSE: He’ll get a title shot, when he wins the Royal Rumble this Sunday at Anglepalooza! COLE: That’s not even a certainty yet! We have 15 slots and I believe that all 15 slots have been filled. CABOOSE: Not necessarily Cole. Panther was knocked out of action and put on the shelf by PRL tonight. A great plan by the way. So, logically, P.R. should get Panther’s spot because he is the one who attacked him. COLE: I see no reason that Panther will not make it to Anglepalooza this Sunday. CABOOSE: He won't. Tha Puerto Rican made sure of that! HA! HA! HA! ::Panther has left the ring while “Know Your Role ‘99” continues to play. Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick step out from the curtain once again. PRL raises his right fist in the air as the crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”:: COLE: The bottom line is that Tha Puerto Rican is back in the OAOAST, and is aligned with Stephen Joseph Popick. The OAOAST will never be the same again! COACH: May God have mercy on our OAOAST souls! ::The last image we see is of Tha Puerto Rican raising his hands in victory with Stephen Joseph standing next to him. Popick and P.R. shake hands and hug and then leave.:: ::FADE OUT:: ::COMMERCIALS:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2005 (edited) BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, the former professional wrestling tag team champions of the world, weighing a combine 465 pounds, Jim Cornette presents "Sarcastic" Simon and "Narcissistic" Ned, THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS! The opening notes of "Chase" blast through the loud speakers, and the fans waste no time showing their disapproval of the former World tag team champions, a few cheers mixed in with the boos. The New New Midnight Express -- "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton and "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard -- in their silvery vest, black trunks with "MX" on the back and a silver star on the front and white boots appear on stage without their manager James E. Cornette anywhere in sight. The two jaw with many of the fans, walking to the ring with a very smug look on their faces. COLE In case you've just joined us, Jim Cornette has decided against escorting any members of Jim Cornette Enterprises until after Anglepalooza, this Sunday live on pay-per-view when The Saints and New New Midnight Express square off. So far he's kept his promise, not coming out with The Saints earlier tonight or the New New Midnight Express right now. He signed warmup matches for his teams, and what a joke that has turned out to be. CABOOSE Joke? You don't think The Saints had a tough time with their opponents? (laughs) COLE No offense to Marvin and Melvin, but they exactly aren't on the level of teams like Black T, Hell's Hitmen or the Global Party XChange. I can only imagine what kind of "competition" James E. signed for Simon and Ned. Edgar Winter's "Frankensteiner" cues up, and out come the brothers from Oklahoma, in their Sooner red singlets. Frank's completely focused on the ring, Frankie, the loveable hyperactive brother, runs around the ramp, barking and slapping hands with many of the ringside fans. In the ring, Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned are flipping out. Jumping up and down, slapping and kicking the ropes. BUFFER And their opponents. Weighing 510 pounds, from Oklahoma, THE FRANKENSTEINERS! COLE Oh, my! The reaction of the New New Midnight Express says it all. They just as well assumed, like many of us, that they would be signed against a rather sub-par team like The Saints were, and, well... I wouldn't call Frank and Frankie Frankensteiner sub-par. Jim Cornette has once again screwed his boys over. CABOOSE You make me sick, Michael Cole. You've been spreading lies about the relationship between the two from the very beginning. How do you go to sleep at night? COLE I go to sleep just fine, thank you very much. CABOOSE I bet you do. Thinking of Zack Malibu in his underwear, singing "Happy Birthday...Michael Cole." COLE Oh, go to hell! CABOOSE Why don't you make me? COACH Gentlemen, please. By all means, start fighting. That'll leave HeldDOWN~! in the hands of The Coach, and everybody knows how trippin' that would be. COLE Oh, shut up, Coachman. You're just as bad as Caboose is. COACH Hey, Muffy, at least I know who the Horsemen were. Sarcastic Simon and Frankie Frankensteiner lockup. Both me jocking for position. Simon backs Frankie in the corner. Referee Charles Robinson asking for a clean break. Will we get one? Yes, we will. Simon slowly steps back... Oh, he went for a cheapshot but Frankie saw it coming. Waistlock... OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX. Simon gets right back up -- FRANKENSTEINERLINE (Clothesline). Narcissistic Ned comes in. Swing and a miss. Go behind waistlock by Frankie. RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Frankie's brother, Frank, is now in as well. Stiff clothesline for Ned. The Frankensteiners really taking it to the former World tag team champions early now. Both Midnights whipped to the ropes. DOUBLE BACK BODYDROPS. Simon and Ned use the ropes to pull themselves back up. The Frankensteiners charge them... CLOTHESLINE OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR! The Frankensteiners are jacked up. The crowd's jacked up. "How about that, huh?" Frank shouts from the center of the ring with his arms out, as his brother Frankie runs around barking, and then goes between Frank's legs for the old Steiner Brothers tag team pose. COLE It's no secret the brothers from Oklahoma model themselves after the former NWA/WCW/NJPW/WWF tag team champions, moreso Frankie, the fun-loving younger brother. CABOOSE Fun-loving? That's code for retarded. And it makes sense they model themselves after the Steiners -- they're all ugly. The New New Midnight Express pace outside the ring, regrouping but obviously still upset James E. Cornette seemingly screwed them over yet again. The crowd turn their attention to the entranceway, booing. THE SAINTS -- Logan "Usher" Mann and Synth -- are heading to the ring. The Heavenly Rockers grab a couple of chairs and sit ringside. Simon, Ned, Logan and Synth exchange some words, but the Midnights direct their attention back to their opponents. COLE We better keep an eye on this. The Saints and the New New Midnight Express will meet this Sunday at Anglepalooza. Jim Cornette has said he won't escort either team to the ring, nor will he be ringside for the bout, but I wonder who James E. is rooting for deep down. CABOOSE The New New Midnight Express. They brought him back to the OAOAST, so that's who he's rooting for. COACH I gotta say The Saints. I think J.C. is a bit P.O.'d that the NNMX haven't been as receptive to new ideas like Synth and Logan have. Narcissistic Ned tags in, and he goes right up to Frankie, playfully barking at him. Frankie returns the gesture with a smile on his face. Mmm! Spinning reverse kick to the midsection of the Puppy Dog. Blanchard shows off his martial arts skills, catching Frankie in the back of the head with a heel kick. Frankie crawls on all floors to the wrong corner, the New New Midnight Express' corner to be exact. Simon chokes Frankie on the middle rope while Ned distracts the referee. Sarcastic Simon tagged in, and he hangs Frankie throatfirst on the top rope. Narcissistic Ned hits the ropes, floats over Singleton's shoulders and comes crashing down on the back of Frankie with a double-axehandle. 1... 2... KICKOUT! Frankensteiner fires off a couple of weak punches. Simon responds by driving the knee into the side of the head. Singleton has Frankensteiner up... Vertical suplex. Sarcastic Simon is going to the top, a place he knows very well. From the apron, Frank shakes the ropes, trying to keep Singleton from gaining his balance. Frankie gets enough time to catch his breath and meet Singleton perched on the top. Frankie swipes away Simon's legs, causing Singleton to land on the top turnbuckle. Frankie climbs to the second rope. OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Blanchard enters the ring, trying to drag his partner near their corner but referee Charles Robinson prevents that from happening, ordering Ned out of the ring. While all this goes on, Frank comes into the ring and to the cheers of the crowd drags Frankie to their corner. TAG MADE! Frank brings Simon back on his feet and clubbers him in the back with a stiff forearm shot. Big brother double underhooks the arms and takes Singleton up and back down (TIGER DRIVER), letting out a very audible "Fuck yeah" as he gets back up. The adrenaline clearly running through the body of Frank Frankensteiner. Singleton whipped into the ropes. TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM! Frank twirls his finger in the air, and the fans stand on their feet because they know what's coming up next...THE FRANKENSTEINER! Simon whipped back to the ropes. But Narcissistic Ned grabs hold of his partner just as Frank goes up... and crashes down on his back! The New New Midnight Express with a tag. Blanchard quickly comes in and sets Frank up for the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX! And connects! Cover made. 1... 2... Frankie makes the save. Stomping Ned between the shoulderblades. The New New Midnight Express with another tag. Frank Irish whipped into the ropes. Singleton hits the ropes. Blanchard with the drop toehold, Sarcastic Simon with the elbow drop to the back of the neck. Classic Midnight Express. Singleton with a go behind waistlock. Back suplex coming up. NO, Sarcastic Simon drops Frank's legs down on the top rope then his back across his knee. SLINGSHOT BACKBREAKER! Frank groans, holding his lower back. COLE Frank is in some real pain here. You have to wonder how much he has left after missing the Frankensteiner and then taking two very brutal slingshots -- the Slingshot Suplex and Slingshot Backbreaker. Regardless of the outcome, the Frankensteiners have shown they have want it takes to compete with the elite level tag teams in the OAOAST. 1... 2... KICKOUT! Simon scoopes Frank up and slams him near the NNMX's corner. Narcissistic Ned tagged back in. We have Singleton going back to the top, even though he's no longer the legal man. Charles Robinson begins administering the 5-count the NNMX have before being DQ'd if the legal man isn't out of the ring by then. Blanchard launches Simon off the top, who comes down on Frank with the big splash. ROCKET LAUNCHER! COLE Singleton gets off of Frank and goes back to the apron. Ned, the legal man, covers -- NO, Ned isn't going for the pin. Simon was in such a hurry to get off of Frankensteiner, I automatically thought it was so Ned could make the pin, but they instead made a tag. Singleton is going back to the top. "Watch and learn," he says to Synth and Logan, who are watching from ringside. Frankensteiner is still down, and he isn't moving at all. VEGOMATIC (flying legdrop)! "That's how you finish off a match," Narcissistic Ned shouts at Synth and Logan, the two brushing off the comment. 1... 2... KICKOUT! The crowd POPS BIG! Obviously they love the underdog factor going on here. COLE Oh, my God! Frank just kicked out of the Vegomatic! I don't believe it. The Saints point to the ring, laughing so hard that their sunglasses fall from around their eyes. Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned not at all happy to see The Saints laughing at their expense. The two teams begin exchanging words, while Frank Frankensteiner crawls to his corner. COACH The New New Midnight Express committing a rookie mistake and they don't even know it. CABOOSE I think this is exactly what The Saints want. They want the NNMX to keep losing their cool so Frank can make the tag. The crowd goes BONKERS as Frank tags in Frankie! Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned turn their attention away from The Saints and back to the ring, where it should of been in the first place. Frankie comes in and cleans house. Frankensteinerlines for all. One for Simon, one for Ned. Two for Simon, and two for Ned. DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Narcissistic Ned goes down in the corner, while Sarcastic Simon is Irish whipped into the ropes. Frank is still down, as well. Simon makes a quick turn and we now have a CRISS-CROSS occuring in the ring. Sarcastic Simon stops to check on Narcissistic Ned, but Frankie CONTINUES RUNNING THE ROPES BY HIMSELF! COLE (shouting) Frankie, he's stopped running. Control yourself, son. Control yourself. CABOOSE Like he heard you. And how is this guy even wrestling? You know they inbred in Oklahoma. He obviously must be related to J.R. The New New Midnight Express see Frankie running the ropes and laugh, making the crazy gesture with their index finger. The former OAOAST tag team champions decide to take a closer look at the sideshow in the ring and... FRANKENSTEINERLINE FOR BOTH! COLE Frankie barks up a storm, the crowd barking along with him. Simon and Ned wobble back to their feet, still stunned from the impact of the Frankensteiner version of the clothesline. Oh, they raked him in the eyes. Frankie whipped into the ropes. He ducks a double-clothesline attempt. Simon and Ned hit the ropes, picking up for momentum. FRANK grabs Narcissistic Ned's legs and PULLS HIM OUT OF THE RING! Whipping him into the security railing, and near THE SAINTS. Sarcastic Simon tries to LEAPFROP over Frankie, but he CATCHES Singleton in MIDAIR and POWERSLAMS him to the canvas. He hooks the leg. The crowd and The Saints rise to their feet. 1... 2... COLE Are we going to witness a huge upset? 3! * DING DING DING DING * COLE YES! The crowd EXPLODES! "Frankensteiner" cues up, but the noise of the crowd drowns it out. Frank joins his brother in the ring to celebrate the biggest win of their careers. Outside the ring, Synth and Logan laugh at a fallen Narcissistic Ned, telling him "See you Sunday" as they exit through the crowd. Back in the ring, Frankie runs around, barking before jumping into the arms of his big brother, tears of joy rolling down both their faces. COLE This is what it's all about, fans. Family. After a very disappointing start to their OAOAST careers, the brothers from Oklahoma decided to leave their home country and head for Japan. There they really began to make a name for themselves in the HI-YAH promotion. And on January 27th, they came back home, a very heavy underdog and defeated the former World tag team champions. COACH You never know what you might see on HeldDOWN, Mikey. And we have Anglepalooza coming up this Sunday! CABOOSE I have to give credit where credit is due. I didn't think the Dumb and Dumber had a chance in hell, but that's why they go out and wrestle. We have something called competitive balance in the OAOAST; on any given night you can win or lose a match in just 3 seconds. COLE Dumb and Dumber? Please. *COMMERCIAL* Hit Me Verdi One More Time! The ever-popular remix of Verdi’s “Requiem” and Britney Spear’s “Hit Me Baby One More Time” starts to blast over the loudspeakers as the fans prepare themselves for a major-league jeering. CABOOSE Oh baby, here we go! COLE I could tell you one thing. When this night started out, I never dreamed we would be seeing AJ Flaire taking on Jingus, of all people! CABOOSE Well, why not? AJ Flaire’s never been the sharpest knife in the drawer. Here he is making his RETURN match -- and he has the nerve to actually challenge Jingus?! He’s a dead man! COACH …..am I the only one noticing just how odd this song is? As billowy gray smoke starts to filter throughout the building, JINGUS finally steps out through a thick cloud of said smoke to a MASSIVE mixed reaction. While the boos in the arena do seem to outweigh the cheers, there are enough of both to really make the disagreement noticeable. With his trademark red and black devil horn mask over his head, Jingus slowly saunters down the ramp and towards the ring. COACH Well, Jingus definitely looks to be all business tonight! CABOOSE Looks to be all business? When the hell is that man NOT all business? Coach, he doesn’t give a damn about AJ Flaire! He’s willing to tear him apart limb from limb here -- oh man, I’m really looking forward to this! Once Jingus steps into the ring, and the sounds of his theme music start to wane, the reaction in the building starts to slowly climb as the crowd realizes who will finally be stepping out. COLE These fans are waiting for it! They’re excited for it! They’re…. I’m The Man In My Box Buried In My Shit Won’t You Come And Save Me? Save Me?! A HUGE roar rises up from the Winnipeg crowd as the hard-rocking sounds of “Man in the Box” by Alice in Chains continues to blast over the speakers. After a few seconds of stalling, to build up the dramatic tension of course…..AJ FLAIRE FINALLY STEPS OUT THROUGH THE CURTAINS! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” COLE LISTEN TO THIS REACTION! “AJ FLAIRE!“ “AJ FLAIRE!“ “AJ FLAIRE!“ Immediately after stepping out, AJ stands at the top of the ramp for a few moments, truly absorbing this impressive appreciation from the crowd. As they continue to wildly cheer him, AJ pounds his chest emphatically and points out to all of them, returning the favor. COACH AJ looks speechless. CABOOSE He shouldn’t be. I expected this reaction. This IS Canada, after all. COLE What do you mean? CABOOSE Bizarro-world! Boo the faces. Cheer the heels. It’s a common wrestling fact, Cole. AJ Flaire sucks, but these fans can’t help but cheer him. Typical insane Canadian stuff. COACH …..well, you can’t really argue with that! After saluting the fans, AJ starts to hop down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans sitting alongside the ramp along the way. He then slides into the ring and immediately walks over to a nearby corner, proudly raising his arms up and receiving yet another LOUD reaction in return. Once he steps off the turnbuckle, he turns his attention to Jingus, and the two men stare at each other from across the ring. COLE Well, this is it. AJ Flaire making his true in-ring return here tonight! CABOOSE If you don’t count that Phoenix debacle from a few weeks ago. COLE Is AJ Flaire truly prepared for this match tonight? I mean, we ARE only three days away from his HUGE I-Quit matchup with Drek Stone at AnglePalooza for the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship. CABOOSE Well, he should have thought of that before. The buzz in this Winnipeg arena start to escalate as AJ Flaire and Jingus start to step closer to each other in the ring. The referee moves between the two men to separate them for the time being -- BUT AJ FLAIRE SUDDENLY GETS SHOVED DOWN FROM BEHIND! COACH WHOA! COLE Wait….who the hell is that?! Immediately after AJ hits the mat, someone begins to wildly stomp him, planting some HARD kicks in the center of his back. The crowd starts to LOUDLY boo as the camera focuses upwards - and finds the culprit to be none other than Drek Stone! CABOOSE CHAAAAAAAAAMMMMPPPPPPPPP!!! COLE What the hell is he doing here?! This doesn’t involve him! AJ tries desperately to force himself up to his hands and knees, but Jingus runs forward and cracks a hard kick across his ribs, sending him back down to the ground. With Flaire simply prone on the mat, both Drek Stone and Jingus start to stomp him unmercifully. With Jingus targeting the head, and Drek clearly targeting the back, AJ Flaire looks to be in serious trouble. The referee moves away to run out of the ring, but Drek suddenly grabs him by his collar. COLE Wait….no….come on. Leave the referee alone. He didn’t do anything wrong. CABOOSE The hell he didn’t! He must have if Drek is targeting him. He doesn’t just attack people for nothing, you know. The referee tries struggling out of Drek’s grasp, but the Heavyweight Champion forcefully pushes him into the turnbuckle. Using his body to block the ref from leaving, Drek starts screaming at the ring official, veins literally starting to bulge out of his neck in anger. DREK YOU RING THAT BELL!!!! RING THAT BELL!!! The referee, strangely defiant, shakes his head no at Drek’s request. This manages to get the Heavyweight Champion even angrier. DREK RING THE BELL!! I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK IT’S FAIR OR NOT!! START THIS MATCH!! RING THAT BELL!! Once again, the referee shakes his head no. This prompts Drek to grab a vicious grip of the referee’s hair and push him back even further against the turnbuckle. He then pulls back his right hand, looking quite ready to punch the holy hell out of this innocent official. DREK RING THIS BELL, OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL BREAK YOUR FACE!! I’VE DONE IT BEFORE!! I WILL DO IT NOW!! RING THE BELL!! The referee, suddenly not so courageous anymore with his widened eyes and purplish-red cheeks, motions to the timekeeper to ring the bell. Sure enough… *DING! DING! DING!* COLE Oh god, this is terrible! This isn’t even a match anymore! Jingus, pleased that the bell has finally rang, moves over to a laying down AJ Flaire. With a sadistic smile on his face, he wraps his large hands around AJ’s throat -- and lifts him up OFF the mat and HIGH into the air! COACH I….I don’t like where this is going! AJ tries kicking his legs to get out of the grip, but Jingus isn’t having any of it. He SPIKES AJ Flaire down to the mat -- AND HARD! The fans groan as AJ instantly recoils upon impact and rolls onto his stomach. Drek, with an approving thumbs up, flashes a smile to Jingus, then steps outside to the timekeeper table. Not even bothering to take his chances, the timekeeper runs for dear life as Drek folds up the chair he was just sitting on and slides it into the ring. COLE Come on. Stop this! CABOOSE Stop what?! This is an officially sanctioned OAOAST match. What do you have against competition? As the Heavyweight Champion steps into the ring, Jingus wraps his hand around AJ’s throat and starts choking him once more. AJ begins pounding his legs against the mat, showing just how critical this choke is, but Jingus just pushes forward, adding even more weight to the choke. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” Finally, Jingus releases the chokehold, just before the referee reached five. COACH Well, at least Jingus is smart enough to release the choke before he got disqualified. CABOOSE Oh please. Let me tell you something, Coach. That referee will be disqualifying NOBODY tonight. Not if he likes being able to breathe on his own. As AJ flails his legs against the mat once more, taking in vital deep breaths as quickly as possible, Jingus stands back up to his feet and slashes a thumb against his throat. CABOOSE Here we go! There, Coach. There, Cole. Has Jingus proved something to you tonight? AJ Flaire does not have it anymore! AJ Flaire is finished! He can not beat Drek Stone at AnglePalooza! And he could not beat Jingus tonight! Despite the crowd screaming for AJ to get out of this predicament, he just looks to be in too much trouble. Jingus starts dropping a series of knees into AJ Flaire’s back, with The Phenomenal One screaming at each consecutive knee drop. Finally, Jingus forcefully grabs AJ by his head and forces him up to into a standing position. He wraps one hand around his throat, prompting the Winnipeg crowd to REALLY start booing. He then lifts AJ Flaire HIGH into the air -- and drops him onto the mat with a VIOLENT chokeslam! *WHAM* “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” CABOOSE That’s it. This one’s over. AJ immediately clutches at his back after the move. This gives Jingus the opportunity to grab Flaire by his throat once more. In one swift motion, he picks AJ Flaire up off the mat by his neck, lifts him up in the air -- and drives him down with ANOTHER CHOKESLAM! COLE Okay! THIS IS ENOUGH! AJ Flaire has a surgically repaired back, dammit! CABOOSE Then he should NEVER even have considered fighting an I-Quit match with Drek Stone! This match is really teaching him something. Teaching us all, in fact. Jingus puts his hand around AJ’s throat for a third time, and lifts him up high. But this time, Drek waves it off. Jingus stares at Stone with a confused glance, obviously wondering what this is about. Drek cautiously urges Jingus to lighten up on the choke. Jingus slowly moves AJ down to the mat as Drek picks up the chair and unfolds it in the center of the ring. With the steel chair now in a sitting position, Drek gives Jingus a thumbs up, then screams for him to lift up AJ once again. COACH Oh no! NO! NO! NO! COLE DON’T TELL ME!! With his hand still around AJ’s throat, Jingus moves him over towards the steel chair. COLE OH GOD! If Jingus choke slams AJ Flaire on that chair…..it’s all over! It HAS to be! Drek nods his head emphatically as Jingus lifts AJ Flaire up HIGH…. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” BUT AJ FLAIRE SLIDES OUT OF THE CHOKEHOLD AND BEHIND JINGUS! He steps back -- and hits him with A HUGE FIELD GOAL KICK TO THE TESTICLES!! COLE WOW!!!! COACH AJ FLAIRE WITH A HUGE KICK TO THE JINGUS BELLS!! The fans ROAR as Drek moves over to grab the chair. But AJ plants a huge European Uppercut across his jaw, sending him down to the mat. The Phenomeonal One then quickly folds up the chair and, as Drek starts to rise, CRACKS THE STEEL CHAIR OVER THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION’S HEAD! The crowd explodes as Drek tumbles out of the ring and to the arena floor. CABOOSE WHAT?! NO!! THAT’S THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!! WHAT THE HELL DID HE JUST DO?! Once Drek falls out of the ring, Jingus moves up onto his knees, clearly in some serious pain. AJ turns his attention to his opponent and, with a scowl, HITS HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!! The sound of steel hitting flesh echoes throughout the building as Jingus falls down to the mat. AJ immediately drops the chair and starts to lift Jingus back up to his feet. With the fans loudly screaming their approval, AJ hits Jingus with…. COLE YES!! THAT’S PHENOMENAL!! CABOOSE WHAT?! HOW?! AJ Flaire, holding his ribs after hitting the move, rolls Jingus over onto his back and hooks the leg. The referee makes the count, and the fans sing along with him. ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!!!! *DING! DING! DING!* “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” “Man in the Box” starts to play throughout the loudspeakers once again as AJ places a hand on Jingus’s chest and pushes himself back up to his feet. He warily raises his arm up to the crowd, receiving another positive reaction once again. COLE I can’t believe it! AJ Flaire managed to beat Jingus! Maybe….just maybe…..he really still DOES have it! CABOOSE No! NO HE DOESN’T! COACH He managed to overcome both Jingus AND Drek Stone tonight! He was able to overcome the Heavyweight Champion even WHEN he had the help from someone else! If he can knock out Drek Stone tonight, even when Drek had some extra help, what is he going to do this Sunday?! What can he do?! CABOOSE THIS IS RIDICULOUS! STOP IT! On the arena floor, Drek uses the ring steps to move back up to his feet. Holding the back of his head, Drek Stone scowls at his AnglePalooza opponent standing triumphantly in the ring. AJ looks at Drek, grinning smugly over what has just happened, so Drek accordingly shoots him the middle finger. CABOOSE There we go! Drek Stone has the right idea! Who cares what AJ Flaire did tonight?! It’s about what he can do this Sunday! And let me tell you, he will NOT be doing much of anything! COLE Caboose, say what you want. But AJ proved something major here tonight! He overcame a 2-on-1 situation. He took two HUGE choke slams from Jingus! And he still fought back to win the match! He’s not as weak as we all thought. THIS is a man that could be the new OAOAST Heavyweight Champion! CABOOSE YOU’RE WRONG! I’M TELLING YOU YOU’RE WRONG!! From the outside, Drek silently mouths the words: YOU. ARE. WASHED. UP. to AJ with a smile on his face. Flaire nods slowly, taking the time to absorb this message. He then runs into the ropes, bounces off, jumps over the top -- AND HITS DREK STONE WITH A HUGE PESCADO!! COLE OH MY GOD!!! CABOOSE WHAT IN THE HELL…..?!?! The fans let out another MASSIVE roar as AJ sits on top of Drek’s chest and begins peppering him with lefts and rights to the head. Drek, wildly swinging his arms, manages to push AJ Flaire off him and scamper up the ramp. AJ sits on his knees and stares at the Heavyweight Champion running up the stage. However, The Phenomenal One actually starts to smile when he sees what Drek Stone left behind during the melee. CABOOSE OH NO! PUT THAT DOWN! THAT IS NOT YOURS! AJ Flaire picks up the Heavyweight Title that Drek inadvertently ditched….and clasps it around his waist! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” COLE Could this be a sign of things to come?! CABOOSE OF COURSE NOT!! IT CAN’T BE!!! IT WON’T BE!!! “AJ FLAIRE!” “AJ FLAIRE!” “AJ FLAIRE!” COLE People thought AJ Flaire was finished! Thought he didn’t have it anymore! But he fought back from 2-on-1 odds tonight! He took two NASTY choke slams from Jingus! He beat the hell out of the Heavyweight Champion! AND he took out Drek Stone with a BEAUTIFUL plancha! This all adds up to one thing! CABOOSE NO IT DOESN’T! IT DOES NOT!! COLE Folks, believe it or not -- AJ Flaire really does STILL HAVE IT!! COACH And I wouldn’t be surprised if we see something like this come Sunday! CABOOSE You two are insane! AJ FLAIRE IS FINISHED! THIS WAS A FLUKE! AND DREK STONE WILL PROVE IT! COLE Folks, you do NOT want to miss AnglePalooza this Sunday! AJ FLAIRE! DREK STONE! I-QUIT MATCH! THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP ON THE LINE! COACH AND OF COURSE…..THE LETHAL RUMBLE!! COLE DON’T MISS IT!!! The camera slowly fades out as AJ Flaire stares up at Drek Stone, wide smile on his face, the Heavyweight Championship glittering around his waist. *FADE TO BLACK* Edited January 28, 2005 by Hoff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2005 (edited) © 2004 OAOAST Inc./HeldDOWN Entertainment CREDITS: Hoff Patty Frig Phenom Papa Adam Cal Dan Cappa PR Tony NYU OMG I EDITED MYSELF IN AT THE LAST MINUTE GIVE ME PROPZ TOO~!~! Edited January 28, 2005 by Hoff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
