Guest Ash Ketchum Report post Posted May 10, 2002 "SQUEAK... SQUEAK!" The sound of squeaky slippers emanates through a quite room. Duck-billed platypus slippers. Property of one man, the man with a Pepsi Twist in his left hand and his SJL World Title in his right... Ash Ketchum. In his gray boxers and "Pokemania's GONE MAD!!!" T-Shirt, he sneaks around, right toward the bedroom door, but as he opens, he looks straight into the piercing eyes of Misty, sitting up in a sexy lacy and green little number. She looks a bit disappointed as her hubby sighs. "And where were you?" Misty questions with a cross look on her face. "I'm sorry... I was out playing cards again... I didn't mean to keep you waiting." Ash sighs as he finishes, hoping she won't explode in his face. "Oh... how'd it go?" Misty questions, and Ash knows if he doesn't tell the truth he'll be sleeping in the bathtub tonight. "Well..." --- Cut to a scene on the side of the road. Quite a desolate area. Nothing around for miles. However, T-Bone stands there, holding a sign reading "MONTREAL OR BUST". Unfortunately, he is wearing a long pink dress, a long blonde wig, and make-up. One word of advice: NEVER play Ash in a card game of Pokemon. He always wins. And so, after busting all the cash he had on him, T-Bone threw himself at the mercy of Ash, willing to do anything for one more game. He lost. And now, T-Bone has HOURS to think about his mistake. Or does he? That is the question as a large semi pulls up next to T-Bone and stops, the passeneger's side door opening as a gruff voice begins to speak. "Hey there, pretty lady? Need a ride?" ---- "Oh..." Misty asks. "Well, we'd better get some sleep." "Right-o. Good night, Amy." "Good night, Mike." Misty replies, calling Ash by his real name. "Good night, Wallace." At 11:15:31, the light turns out. At 11:15:33, the light turns back on. "Wallace? Who the hell is Wallace?" Misty wonders. Ash pauses as he tries to figure out how to explain it to his lovely angel. "You know how some people name things, like boats and stuff? I named my belt Wallace." Ash smiles as Misty looks confused for a second, but asks another question. "...As in my Uncle Wallace?" "Yeah! Old people are the coolest!" Ash grins after his last comment. Misty looks totally confused, like Ash is speaking another language. "You are such a weird guy, Mike..." Misty comments. "Yeah... I know... but isn't Wallace great? He's going to be sleeping in the bed tonight." Ash grins happily as he finishes tucking Wallace into bed. "Oh... well, good night, sweetie." Misty smiles as she angelically falls asleep on her pillow, and as Ash goes to sleep, there is a sudden knock at the door. "Housekeeping!" A Mexican voice replies. "..." Another knock. "Housekeeping! Fresh sheets!" "Go away!" Ash yells, hoping whoever is there will leave.. But the Mexican voice comes back louder. "Housekeeping! I want your body!!!" "AAAAHHHH!!! FLESHER'S COMING BACK FOR REVENGE ON ME FOR THOSE PRANK WAKE-UP CALLS I MADE TO HIM!!!!!!" Ash screams. He grabs Wallace and spring out of bed, running to the door. He grabs the handle, counts slowly to three, and prepares to nail whoever is behind the door. As he looks up, he stops just tshort of hitting one of the two men standing there. "Whoa, senor Ketchum! It is just us..." "Yeah, dude, chill..." Standing before the champion is El Luchador Magnifico and Chris Raynor. The two Carnies stand in front of the newly renovated Love Rollercoaster "Oh, hey dudes. You guys had me worried there for a sec." Ash replies, as if nothing happened. "And you scared the shit outta me!" Raynor responds. Things go silent form a second before Ash speaks up again. "So... whatcha guys here for?" "Oh... we came for the par-teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" Magnifico responds in his Mexican tone, sounding somewhat like Eddie Guererro. "So... where's all the beer?" "Um... Magnifico... there's no party today. We just had one yesterday." "Yeah... but you know... ummm... wait. Didn't we come here for another reason, Magnifico?" Magnifico whispers something inaudible in Raynor's ear. "Oh yeah... we came to help trash Tom's room." Ash looks at the two in disbelief, then looks at the clock on the wall, back at the two Carnies. Clock. Carnies. Clock. Carnies. "Umm... guys... it's 11:19. I need to get some sleep-" Ash pauses as he makes a realization. "Hold on..." Ketchum steps aside from the door for a second. the sound sof things being ruffled around can be heard. An "A-HA!" is also heard as the Carnies "Hmmm... I can pencil you guys in for 8:15 tomorrow morning." Ash replies with all the enthusiasm of a secretary. "Sounds good." Raynor answers, setting up a meeting... and Ash+Carnies=FUN. "All right see ya. Bye!" Ash slowly shuts the door and turns to go to bed. As Ash shuts the door, a large "VRRRRRRRRRROOOOM!!!!" and the sound of tires peeling and screams as the Love Rollercoaster zooms down the hall, ELM at the controls. For some reason, he has forgotten of Raynor's speed improvement, and as Ash opens the door, he notices the floor scorched with four black marks: two tire marks and two marks burnt into the floor from the fire shooting out the back. And above it all, we can hear Raynor scream: "I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET YOU DRIVE, MAGNIFICIO!!!!!!!!!" ----The Next Day---- It is a bright and sunny day. Tom Flesher, fresh off getting his ass kicked, rises up in the morning. Today is a new day, a new day to do evil things, like take candy from small children and steal signs that have his name on them. As he rises up, he looks overat the mirror, and smiles. "Good morning-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Flesher, looking into his reflection, sees himself dressed up all nice... IN LITTLE PINK BUNNY PAJAMAS LIKE A TWO-YEAR-OLD. Flesher screams loudly, and upon looking down, sees that his sheets are of the Pokemon variety. Looks like you-know-who got to him again. "Grrrr... Ketchum..." He checks out his surroundings. Scattered across the room are helium Pikachu balloons. His suitcase is stuck in the door between the bathroom and the main room, possibly to draw him in there for a trap. And the alarm on the radio seems to be on. "Damn... better be careful... he might sick a Pikachu on me..." Flesher laughs, sliding to the siding of the bed and stepping off. As he steps out of bed, he steps on a small wire, and the alarm on the radio is triggered, but instead of music, something more sinister begins to play... A kazoo blares from the radio, playing to the tune of "Vha vha-vha VHA VHA VHA VHA!!!!!", which is soon followed by a familiar voice. "Hey, Tom-boy! Wassssssup?" Ash Ketchum's voice projects from the clock radio. "Thought we'd set you up with a little present. We, as in the Carnies and me. By the way, Wallace is doing well. You'll see him on Crimson if you care." There's a brief pause as Flesher looks at his suitcase. "Anyways, sorry about wrecking it. I know you wanted to hear some music... so I'll hook you up with some!" Flesher presses the power button, but the radio doesn't turn off. "And oh yeah, we disabled all your little buttons so you can't turn it off. Ask Jay Dawg about it when you have the time. By the way, hope you like the Poke RAP! No... the song, not the move, Tom!" Flesher sighs and gets up, headed to the bathroom as Ketchum starts up on the radio: "Electrode, Diglett, Nidoran, Mankey, Venusaur Rattata, Fearow, Pidgey!" --- Slamming the door behind him, Flesher looks around his bathroom. Toilet, sink, and shower are all still lined up in a row. Nothing seems to be wrong. And he needs to wash his face. So, going to the sink, he turns on the faucet. Unforutnately, this turns on the shower. Flesher looks over and turns the faucet off. He repeats his process, and the shower turns back on. He turns the faucet off again, and going to the shower, turns that on. "FWOOOOOOOSH!!!" The toilet magically flushes, water circling clockwise. Flesher doesn't believe what he's seeing. "Dammit. I hate this..." As Flesher goes over to the toilet and jiggles the handle, water pours from the faucet. And so, Flesher keeps flushing the toilet, which still makesthe flushing sound, but it is amplified times ten, drawing attention from all his neighbors and drowning out Ash's singing... "Genger, Tangela, Goldeen, Spearow, Weezing Seel, Gyarados, SLOWBRO!" --- Pulling back up at Ash's room, the Love Rollercoaster deposits Ketchum at his front doorstep. With Johnny Rotten at the wheel, Kethcum gathers his bags from the back and turns, but turns back to Rotten for one last word. "Hey, be sure to tell the others thanks for helping me, especially with re-wiring Flesher's clock radio..." "No sweat, man." Rotten replies, waving to Ash one last time before he takes off at half speed on the Love Rollercoaster. Ash watches the Carnie's mode of transportation depart before uttering the four words 4 out of 5 North Korean refugees agree with... "Man, those guys rule..." --- "Metapod, Marowak, Kakuna, Clefairy, Dodrio, Seadra, Vileplume, Krabby..." Tom Flesher returns from the bathrrom, opening the door as Ketchum continues the Poke Rap. Flesheris just getting damn right sick of this, and he heads for the closet to get his clothes... only to find they've been replaced with hundreds of stuffed platypuses, which avalanche on top of Tom. The music becomes muted and inaudible until Flesher digs himself out of the pile, gasping for breath as he pulls himself out of the pile, just in time for the ending. "Omanyte, Slowwwwww-poke... Pidgeot, Arbok, THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!" The singing/rapping stops and there is much applause, and a few high-fives and laughs mixed in, but suddenly, there's a thud as the mic is dropped, followed by a huge round of feedback. "AAAAAAHHH!!!" TURN IT OFF!" Edwin screams over the radio. Tom covers his ears as there is much screaming by Ash and the Carnies until they turn the mic off. Tom uncovers his ears, but followed by a puff of smoke and spark, the clock radio overloads and blows up. Flesher laughs, then turns and heads to the door. "Heh... figures." Tom replies. "They're so stupid..." As Flesher opens the door, we see a large platypus doll, with a note attached reading "DO NOT PULL", attached to a string. It is blocking the way for Flesher to escape, and that, combined with anger, causes him to RIP the platypus off the string. the next thing we see is a view from iside the room, and we hear the sound of aerosol cans spraying. We cannot see Tom... but we can sure as hell hear him! "AAAACK!!! STOP THIS!!!! FUCK THIS!!! AAAAHHH!!! THIS SUCKS!" As Flesher turns back around, we can see the front side of his body... plastered in silly string. As Flesher turns to face back around, towards his bed once more, something swings down quickly and WHAM! Flesher's face becomes imbedded in a shaving cream pie. The pie tin drops off Flesher's face, which is by now a gooey, stringy, fuzzy mess. And with that, he says the three words every evil guy can agree with: "I hate Ketchum..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Edwin MacPhisto Report post Posted May 10, 2002 While quite good, this promo works even better when run through pornolizer.com: "And where were you?" Misty fingerfucks with a fistfucks look on her face. "I'm sorry... I was out jerking cards again... I didn't mean to keep you waiting." Ash dripps as he fistfucks, hoping she won't explode in his face. Yeah, that's good stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ash Ketchum Report post Posted May 10, 2002 Edwin... that's even CRAZIER. ;;; Well... if no one else is going to comment... *prepares to re-write entire thing through pornolizer.com and see how dumb it gets* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Insane Clown Dan Report post Posted May 10, 2002 UH... right, Ash... and what was the whole purpose of this? I kinda got lost in all the mixed-up events, and I'm too lazy to read the whole thing =P It seems all you did was pull immature pranks on Flesher. Yeah, reeeal afraid of Ash now... I better not PULL HIS FINGER! Oh my god... evil death gas released! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ash Ketchum Report post Posted May 10, 2002 *sighs* Man... from Flexxx's opinion(and maybe everyone elses besides Edwin)... this promo sucked. Seems like nobody likes it, or me for that matter. At least Flexxx hates me. I don't know about others. *sighs* If this kinda negative commenting keeps popping up, I'm just not going to bother with promos anymore. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Insane Clown Dan Report post Posted May 10, 2002 Ash, it wasn't that bad... I love how you always put forth your best effort into all your work. Everyone liked your promo that you wrote in your feud with Jacob Helmsley, because it had a purpose. This was just one big clusterfuck of mostly WF stars that aren't even involved with Ash, and to pull pranks on Flesher. That's why you didn't get the response that you expected. But you are very creative and will pull something better together. I hope I didn't completely kill your confidence or anything with ONE remark... guilt trips are my lovely succubus. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Chuck Woolery Report post Posted May 10, 2002 Dude, I assure you, this promo did not suck in the sense that it was neither entertaining nor useful. I think that most of the criticism is aimed at the fact that while the entertainment level is high, and the Carnies being there was cool, there was no real point except to pull an immature prank on Flesher. Funny, but not the best way to push a feud. - Mike Van Siclen That's his two cents Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ash Ketchum Report post Posted May 10, 2002 Oh, all right. But hey... I'll work on it a little more. This was just the dumb thing. The real stuff comes for Crimson, so don't you worry. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Renegade Report post Posted May 10, 2002 Someone needs a hug! *Renegade opens his arms apart* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 10, 2002 I don't know about you guys but I kinda like the idea of pulling pranks becuase it gives a good change of pace form the generic, "I want yous titel! Yu bad be good! Krog wnat hte ttile!" Think of is as Ash's way of mindgames to get at his opponent's head. With his character, he can't really do much more than some jokes and fun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ash Ketchum Report post Posted May 11, 2002 Reid put it best. He's like Triple H as a heel meeting a funny face (like Hurricane). He's the Cerebral Prankster. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 11, 2002 Reid put it best. Yay! Woo! Go me! Oh yeah! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest redbaron51 Report post Posted May 11, 2002 Good promo and all, and great creativity But its Wrestlecrap material, IMO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Renegade Report post Posted May 11, 2002 Where is my hug dag nabbit! *keeps his arms open* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 11, 2002 I'll hug you if I can be the SJLer of the Week. ;-) (Bossman preps for the hug) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 11, 2002 Um...good promo. A little too light hearted for the ways Fleshers' character is acting now but I did like it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Renegade Report post Posted May 11, 2002 I'll hug you if I can be the SJLer of the Week. ;-) (Bossman preps for the hug) Get Static-X to play at my town, or buy me a psicosis outfit, then i might consider it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 11, 2002 *takes off pink dress and blonde wig* Ash! THIS WAS OUR LITTLE SECRET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! J00 suck...j00 really, really, suck... I'm gonna go cry in a corner so I can drown in my sorrow solitarily...and stuff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HVilleThugg Report post Posted May 11, 2002 I just want my name to hold all three spots on the Hosted Forums page.... Da "spammer" H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Muzz Report post Posted May 11, 2002 My turn, Thugg. Umm, nice promo Ash... congrats on your win by the way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ErekT2k Report post Posted May 11, 2002 ::sigh:: You should have asked Uncle Wallace for help on your promos. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Beingz0wningj00 Report post Posted May 11, 2002 *Comes out of Ash hating shell for two seconds* Dude... what level is the Hurricane at? Well the WF may have the Carnival... Mark Stevens and KoH were the two serious ones... and the two ones with the main titles. Edwin may be challenging now, but his character is now much more serious. ELM was most dominant as the serious heel as well. This is no offense to the other carnies, cause you know I love you all, and what you do... I think you all have the talent, just need that spark of making it personal in character. Blarg. Anyway dude, while I didn't read the promo. Most people found it funny... you can work with that, and like whoever said about the mindgames... tie that into it. Facing a guy liking pokemon would freak me out to. *Back into Ash hating shell* You suck, bitch! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Edwin MacPhisto Report post Posted May 11, 2002 JD brings up a good point, actually, one that everyone should probably heed at some point. Doing funny stuff is great, but he's right--it only gets you so far. Gotta have that intensity there too, because if the character's not a threat, it's no big deal. Edwin's always been silly and fun, but it wasn't until I started getting a little more serious and hungry for glory IC towards the end of the Clan feud that I feel he really earned his spot close to the top. Now, I liked this promo quite a bit--it's in a fun pranky spirit that I obviously have a soft spot for--but there is a part of me that longs for the tweener-Ash who beat the crap out of his friend Low Brass when the title started to get in the way. He felt like a damn threat. Of course, you do have the bonus of actually having the belt now, which makes you an implied threat. Not saying you should revert or do anything extreme, but I'd suggest a bit of a tougher, more serious attitude for your promo on Crimson. Then again, we are just coming off the Jake promos, so some levity is much appreciated. Balance be the key! JD starting a thread of discussion with worthy feedback? What is this world coming to? Heh heh... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ash Ketchum Report post Posted May 11, 2002 Exactly, Edwin. And don't fear. You'll be seeing both sides of Ash come up on Crimson. He's got that funny, joking side, and that dead serious, "I'm Gonan Kill You", heel-like side. But I kinda know the direction I'm going to take this, so don't worry. It'll all work out. I'm just planting the seeds of anger inside Flesher (IC, I mean). ~Ash~ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted May 13, 2002 Magnifico, from now on there's only one key to the cart, and I'M keeping it. Offbeat shennanigans rule! Good one, Ash. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
