SWF Smarkdown (May 13/2002)

[Guest BA_Baracus]

“Click, click, BOOM!”

 

And SWF Smarkdown is coming to you live from the BI-LO Center in Greenville, South Carolina!  The capacity crowd is on its feet as the pyro explodes and the Smarkdown theme rips into the arena!

 

“Click, click, BOOM!”

 

“NTD, why the hell are you making clicking sounds and then shouting ‘boom’?  You can really sit down now…”  As Curry berates his pantsless announce partner, NTD sits down.

 

“I dunno…I just thought it sounded kinda catchy.”

 

“And you wonder why the higher-ups are looking for new commentators…”

 

“What?!?  Who said anything about new commentators??  I’m not…not getting stale, am I?” worries the color man.  

 

“Uh, well, actually…”

 

“LIGHTS OUT!  GUERRILLA RADIO!  TURN THAT SHIT UP!”  An explosion rocks the entrance stage as “Guerrilla Radio” by Rage Against the Machine rips through the arena!  The crowd initially pops for the first superstar appearance of the night, but reason sets in and the BI-LO Center is soon filled with boos!

 

“Looks like we’re about to get things started about as big as they can begin!” cries Curry.  The man himself, Stubby P. McWeed, comes stalking out of the entrance curtain and begins to stomp down the ramp, a look of rage on his face and a bandage around his forehead!  “Commissioner McWeed is on his way out, and I bet he’s got a lot to say about what went down on last week’s Storm!  Let’s take you back!”

 

The SWFTron lights up as Stubby makes his way to the ring, and the Commissioner slowly turns to look up as he hears a sound feed from Friday’s edition of Storm, then turns to see the video…

 

---

(NTD) – YES!!!  YES!!!  PARANOID FREAKOUT!!  STUBBY JUST LAID EDWIN OUT WITH A PARANOID FREAKOUT!!

---

(Curry) – ROTTEN’S UP!!  THE DEPUTY COMMISH IS UP AND HE’S GOT STUBBY IN HIS SIGHTS!!

---

(Curry) – ROTTEN DAY!!  ROTTEN DAY!!  ROTTEN JUST DROVE THE COMMISSIONER’S HEAD TO THE CANVAS WITH THAT DEVASTATING ROTTEN DAY!!

---

 

The crowd roars wildly for the highlight and Stubby just snarls and turns back towards the ring, stomping down and sliding in as Funyon announces him.  “Making his way to the ring, your commissioner, Stubby ‘Potts’—hey, auugh!”  As Stubby gets to his feet, he rips the microphone out of Funyon’s hand and shoves him aside and out of the ring!

 

“Good lord!  Stubby means business!” says Curry.  “I expected a reaction out of him after what happened last Storm, but that was something else!”

 

“Yeah, that’s even got me a little worried…if he’s so nonchalant about whooping poor ol’ Fun-Ass, maybe I should be worried about this whole ‘new commentators’ business…”

 

In the ring, the Commish rubs at his forehead with his left hand and brings the microphone to his lips with the right.  He snarls, then glares towards the entrance ramp, seething fury in his eyes…

 

“Rotten…get your ass out here…NOW!”

 

“The commish is calling out his deputy ASAP, and listen to that crowd!” shills Curry.

 

“ROT-TEN!  ROT-TEN!  ROT-TEN!”  All eyes are focused on the entrance ramp, when—

 

“I said hallelujah!”

 

BOOM!  “That’s not Rotten!” cries Curry!

 

“To the sixteen loyal fans--”

 

BOOM!  “Aw, god, no!  This is even WORSE than Rotten!”

 

“So get down on your mothafuckin’ knees, cause it’s time for your sickness again!”

 

BOOM!  The final columns of pyro erupt upwards as “Battleflag” drops in, and lo and behold, swaying to the beat, throwing shadow punches like a prizefighter as he makes his way onto the ramp, red vinyl coat swinging along with him, Edwin MacPhisto makes appears on the stage!  “That’s not Rotten!  Stubby asked for Rotten, not some other dipshit Carny!”

 

“NTD!  Watch your mouth!”

 

“Blahhh!”

 

The Mac Daddy stands at the entrance ramp, taking in a swelling ovation and grinning wildly.  “MacPhisto’s coming off a big win over Fallout on Storm, but an even bigger beatdown at the hands of Sacred and Jay Dawg!  And when Rotten lost that World Title match against the Hville Thugg, he also lost his chance to book any match involving anyone!  Edwin had been counting on that to get him a shot at Stubby himself, but now it looks Edwin is once again trying to take matters into his own hands!”

 

In the ring, Stubby is obviously not pleased with this change of plans.  Over the dying strains of “Battleflag,” he shouts.  “MacPhisto, get your ass backstage!  I don’t give a shit about you, I want Rotten!  Or do I need to get the reigning Tag Team Champions--”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“—to come out here and give your ass the powerbomb-neckbreaker one more time?”

 

“They might be champions for long, NTD!” shouts Curry.  “Though Da Pound won the belts off the Midnight Carnival on Storm, they’ve got to face the Carnies AND the team of Munich and Light Heavyweight Champion Erek Taylor tonight in our main event!”  At the entrance ramp, Edwin is merely grinning, waiting for his chance to speak as Stubby rails on.

 

“Come on, MacPhisto, are you stupid, or just dumb?”

 

“I’m a little bit of both, good hamfisted charlatan Stubby!” retorts Edwin, his first vocal of the evening drawing a big pop for the crowd.  “You see,” continues the plucky Brit, pacing  around the entrance stage, “you gave me a Paranoid Freak-Out on Storm.  I also wouldn’t be too surprised if you were the man behind sending Jay Dawg and Sacred out to interrupt my sparring contest with Fallout!  You keep doing all these things to me Stubby, all these things where you stay just out of my reach, and you know why, Harry ‘Pot’-err?  I think you’re bloody scared!”  The crowd roars at Edwin’s accusation, and a slightly perspiring Stubby quickly snaps back!

 

“Scared of you?  Why?  I retired your best buddy, Mark Stevens!  I’ve got your contract in a folder in my office!  I can rip it up like that!  If anyone should be scared of anybody, it’s you of me!”

 

“Well, Stubby, touché…I’m impressed.”

 

“Damn right you--”

 

“NOT!!!”  And the crowd explodes, lighting up a “Mac-Phist-OOOOO!” chant!

 

“My god, my god!” calls Curry, “Edwin’s busting out the late 80’s vernacular on the commissioner!”

 

“All I have to say to you Stubby,” continues Edwin, “is that I agree with you totally…PSYCH!  I said that you’re bloody scared of me…NO DUH!  Anyone of the millions of weekly visitors to the Midnight Carnival could tell you that!  You’re running scared, because you’ve seen what I can do!  I may be fun and games, but you’ve seen the Mac Daddy get wild!  You’ve seen him make Fallout tap out!  You’ve seen him leap off a ladder just to keep his title belt!  You’ve seen him be forced to retire his best friend, and STILL come down on your arse with a blood vendetta the size of the Iberian Peninsula!  My potential energy is on its way to kinetic country, Stubby, and you’re the point of impact!  COWABUNGA!”

 

After that breathless rant, the crowd is on its feet, cheering as Edwin starts to walk down the ramp, and Stubby begs him off!  “I don’t want you, MacPhisto!  For god’s sakes, can’t you get through your goddamn Carnie skull?  You mean jack shit to me, and Jack just left town in your little god-damn golf cart!  I’ve got something to tell Rotten, so do whatever the hell you do to make your boys heel to you, and get him out here before I fire both your asses!”

 

“The commissioner’s not taking any crap from Edwin tonight,” comments Curry.  “He wants Rotten, and only Rotten!”

 

“You could say he only has eyes for Rotten.”

 

“I could, but that’d be kind of stupid.”

 

“RRRRRRRRIGHT NOW!”  And with a bow, Edwin steps to the side, the crowd cheering uproariously one more time as “Anarchy in the UK” violates the sanctity of the arena speakers!  “Here comes Rotten, after all!” says Curry.  “In just moments he’ll be going up against Stryke in a quest to become two-time Hardcore Gamer’s Champion, but rrrright now, he’s got a bigger fish to fry!”  In the ring, Stubby looks a little miffed, perhaps having hoped that Rotten wouldn’t heed him so he could fire both men…but true to his word, the 6’8” Deputy Commish from Naptown, fresh off one of the biggest weeks of his career, makes his way onto the ramp and stands next to Edwin, flashing a smile and making gunshot motions at eager crowd members.  He takes the microphone from Edwin, and brings it to his lips, but Stubby speaks first.

 

“All right, that’s better.  Now Rotten, you piece of--”

 

“Hey, Stubby!” chimes Rotten, feigning obliviousness.  “You wanted to see me?”

 

“Cut the crap, Rotten--”

 

“Well, interestingly enough, I wanted to see me too…so boys, roll that footage again, will ya?”

 

Edwin and Rotten step out from under the SWFTron slightly so that they can see as it lights up…with the footage from SWF Storm’s main event!

 

---

(Curry) – ROTTEN DAY!!  ROTTEN DAY!!  ROTTEN JUST DROVE THE COMMISSIONER’S HEAD TO THE CANVAS WITH THAT DEVASTATING ROTTEN DAY!!

---

 

“Reeewind!”

 

“Rotten, you--”

 

---

(Curry) – ROTTEN DAY!!  ROTTEN DAY!!  ROTTEN JUST DROVE THE COMMISSIONER’S HEAD TO THE CANVAS WITH THAT DEVASTATING ROTTEN DAY!!

---

 

“Anyone want to see it again?”

 

“Me, me!” shouts Curry.  “I have a such a pretty voice!”  With a wave of cheers, the crowd agrees!

 

---

(Curry) – ROTTEN DAY!!  ROTTEN DAY!!  ROTTEN JUST DROVE THE COMMISSIONER’S HEAD TO THE CANVAS WITH THAT DEVASTATING ROTTEN DAY!!

---

 

“And…I’m spent!”  The SWFTron fades out and Rotten and Edwin exchange a high-five as the crowd laughs on heartily.  In the ring, Stubby snaps his head around and around again, trying in vain to get the fans to shut up before he gives up and turns his attention back to his two hated rivals at the top of the ramp.

 

“Don’t you Carnies ever get?  Don’t you understand how little your jokes and bullshit gets to me?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know about that, Stubby, judging by how thick the vein on your forehead seems to be getting…”

 

“SHUT UP, ROTTEN!”

 

“I’ve got a better idea—shut up, Stubby!”  As Rotten stands tall, not backing down for a moment, the commissioner absolutely loses it!

 

“You know WHAT, Rotten?  I’ve had it up to here with you!  Your sorry ass disappears for a few months and you let everything go to hell!  You let those Enlightenment fuckers roll in here, you let the Clan abuse my wife—yeah, I’m putting it all on you, Johnny-boy!  You left this place hanging, and since you’ve come back, you’ve been nothing but trouble!  In fact, I think it’s pretty safe to say that you haven’t been fulfilling the duties of a Deputy Commissioner very well at all!”  Stubby smirks, and suddenly the Carnies are a little less sure of themselves, sharing a concerned glance.

 

“He wouldn’t--”  Curry starts to speak, but the snapping voice of the Commissioner cuts him off!  

 

“Storm was the final straw!  You laid hands on me, and that’s the last thing you want to do to me, you piece of shit Deputy!  But I’m glad you did that, Rotten, because that’s a definite case of ‘Insubordination Against Your Superiors,’ and you know what that means?”

 

“That you’re a superior jackass, Stubby?”  The crowd pops for Rotten one more time, but Stubby quickly silences them.

 

“No, shithead!  It means that, as of now, you’re officially a loose cannon, got that?  A threat to the god-damn system!  A man unfit for any position of authority!  So turn in your rinky-dink little deputy star on the way out, Rotten, because I just stripped you of your DEPUTY COMMISSIONERSHIP!”  And the entire BI-LO Center overflows with boos as Rotten’s jaw drops in shock!

 

“Stubby just kicked his Deputy Commish out of the office!” cries Curry!

 

“Damn right he did!  Kick that bitch to the curb like the saucy intern he is!”

 

Rotten and Edwin lock eyes, and Rotten reaches to the deputy star pinned to his shirt.  He looks at it for a second…and then throws it down to the floor to a great pop!  He brings the mic to his mouth.  “Stubby,” sneers Rotten, “you just made a very big mistake.”  Rotten throws down the microphone, and like two bats out of hell, he and MacPhisto bolt down the ramp, plowing straight towards Stubby!

 

“Here comes the Carnival!  The advantage shifts again!”  The crowd explodes as the two charge ahead, but Stubby shouts into his mic!

 

“Wait, wait, wait!  Stop right there, assholes, or your asses are gone!”  The Carnies skid to a brief halt and Edwin moves to speak, but he realizes that he’s been cut silent by the left-behind microphone!  He tries to shout, but the crowd noise is too loud, and Stubby takes over.  “Before you two do anything too rash…”  He pauses, licking his lips…

 

“…don’t you want to meet your new deputy commissioner?”

 

“What?” says a flabbergasted Curry.  “Already?”

 

“Stubby’s always been efficient!” affirms NTD.  “No red tape for this man!”

 

“Yeah, but who on earth could Stubby find on such short not--”

 

“ALLLLLLLL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARD!”

 

“No!  Not again!”

 

“WOO-HOOOOOOOO!”

 

NTD is overjoyed as The Carnies turn on their heels and face the ramp as Edwin lets loose a rare profanity!  The bass-line to “Crazy Train” starts to thump through the arena!

 

“AY AY AY!”  “HEARTBREAKER” flashes across the SWFTron, and as the main guitar riff drops in, a flash of sparkling pyro erupts, and the slimiest bastard in the history of the federation, decked out in a brand new Armani suit, steps out onto the ramp!  He leans forward, picks up Rotten’s discarded deputy star, and pockets it!

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” screams Stubby, “your new Deputy Commissioner: THE SUICIDE KING!!!”

 

“I can’t believe this,” cries Curry, “and neither can the Carnies!  Look at Edwin!  Rotten’s the only thing holding him back from going after either Stubby or King, and Rotten himself is anxious to get going on either of them too!”

 

With a devilish smirk and deliberate movement, King bends at the knees and picks up the Carnies’ discarded microphone!  After a quick, derisive wipe of the top with the lining of his sport jacket, he brings it up to speak!  “Well, it’s been…what, a whole two weeks since I ruined all your lives?  I just couldn’t stay away!  No one could get enough of the Suicide King, could they?  Edwin, it’s nice to see you again!  How’s it been being all alone here?  Talk to MARK lately at all, eh?”  The Mac Daddy is on edge, thrashing in his coat as Rotten desperately tries to hold him back.

 

“Let him go, Johnny!” snaps King.  “If he wants to come up here, take me out, and give me and Commissioner Stubby a chance to end HIS career, go for it!  In case you’d forgotten, I’ve got a pretty good record with that whole ‘ending careers’ business.”  The crowd gives King MAJOR heat for that.  “Now, I know you’re all absolutely DYING to see me get back in the ring and show you how a real champion wrestles, but once again, I’ve got to assure you all, I’m just here for the show.  You really should try having a contract dispute one of these days, Edwin—it’s great!  You lose your job, and then the company hires you back when they realize that you’re the one thing that’s kept it going, and they pay you even more for less work!  Now that I’ve got this great desk job,” he continues, finagling with his pocket and removing the deputy star, “and this BEEEEOOOOOOOOOTIFUL deputy star, I think I’m set for life!”  Edwin’s strained shouts of “King, you bloody bastard” and Rotten’s scowls of “That’s MY star!” are barely heard over the crowd, and King continues to smirk as Stubby takes a turn to speak.

 

“So, you Carnies happy now?  You’ve done all you can and we’ve shut you down at every opportunity!  But, in the interest of fairness: Edwin.  King’s got a little something planned for you tonight, just to show you that we’re not all unfair.  King?”

 

“NTD, this smells rotten to me…”

 

“You can smell Rotten from all the way over here?  Phew!”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Thanks, Stubby!” smirks King, twirling the deputy star between his forefingers.  ‘You’re right—I do have something for you, Edwin!”  MacPhisto’s body slacks a little bit as he waits to listen, trying to calm himself.  “I’ve got a big thing lined up for you, Edwin!  As a matter of fact…as my first act as Deputy Commissioner of the Smarks Wrestling Federation, I’m going to book you…in a NUMBER ONE CONTENDERSHIP MATCH TO THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!”  And the crowd explodes!  Edwin, confused, can’t help but grin all the while wondering about the catch…

 

“Whoa!  That sure doesn’t look like punishment to me!” says Curry.

 

“I don’t know what King’s thinking!”

 

“And, before you get your panties all bunched up with glee, Edwin…your opponent in tonight’s MAIN EVENT will be…

 

…come on kids, wait for it…

 

…beg me for it, you bastards!…

 

…ah, screw it!  Tonight, for a shot at the HVille Thugg at SWF Crossfire, you face…PERFECT BO!”

 

“WHOA!  Tonight, Bo and Edwin, one-on-one, for a shot at Thugg’s World Title!  The two one who’ve been gunning for Da Pound since Defiance—I see where King is headed with this!”

 

“You heard me, Edwin!  Call it a blessing—or a curse!  You and Bo get to beat the living hell out of each other tonight, and then whoever’s left in one piece gets to be Thugg’s after-dinner snack at the Pay-Per-View!  If we can’t get rid of you on our own, we’ll let the two of you take care of each other!”

 

“At this point, NTD, that’s got to be a risk these men are willing to take!”

 

“And I’ll laugh real hard when they tear each other apart and both end up as wash-ups in the WF Retirement Home!”

 

“Like you?”

 

“N…no, not like…not like me!  I’m way too suave!”

 

Back on the ramp, Edwin and Rotten are conferencing, looking back and forth, trying to figure out what to do, when Stubby breaks the silence!  “So, how do you like that, boys?  Now you *both* get to get your asses kicked tonight, not just Rotten, and Bo gets thrown into the mix too!  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get out of this ring and to my office, because it’s just about time for me to get packed up for a business trip.”

 

“Business trip?  Stubby’s going to leave KING in charge?  What is this world coming to?” rants Curry.

 

“So, if you two will kindly step out my way,” implores Stubby, snarling as he hops off the apron.  The Carnies tense up, nod to each other, and suddenly both step towards Stubby, adopting fighting stances!  The crowd roars!

 

“Whoa whoa whooooooa!” shouts King, laughing all the while.  “What are you two rejects going to do, pull some ‘You’ll have to get through us’ routine?  Not tonight you won’t!  In fact, you know what you’re going to do?”  The two Carnies look back towards King.

 

“You’re going to kneel.”

 

The crowd does *not* like that.

 

“You heard me, boys!  On your damn knees!  That’s what your little rinky dink theme music says, right Edwin?  Take your own damn advice!  You kneel down and let Stubby pass, or I’ll go right ahead and revoke my first decision!  That contendership shot is my gift to you, Edwin, and if you spit in my face I’ll take it right back!”  The crowd boos and fritters about as Edwin and Rotten look at each other, distraught.  Stubby walks up to them, pushing the limits as he gets within five feet…

 

…and Rotten drops to his knees.  

 

Shaking his head, Edwin follows suit.

 

Stubby walks past non-chalantly, and spits in Edwin’s hair.

 

“I can’t believe it!” moans Curry, as King claps and hoots at the entrance ramp.  “The commish and his new deputy have just humiliated the Carnival!”

 

“That’s how I like it, Curry!  Yowza!  King’s so cute when he’s mad…”

 

As Stubby backs up the ramp and shakes King’s hand, he brings the mic to his hand.  “You got five minutes to get in gear and get ready for Stryke, Rotten!  And as for you, MacPhisto…happy trails.  Give my regards to Bo, you piece of shit!”  The Carnies rise to their feet…

 

“Stay down!” shouts King.  “You stay down until we’re GONE!”  He cackles, and both Edwin and Rotten slump back down as “Crazy Train” hits.  The commissioners lock hands and raise their arms high into the air, then confidently laugh their way backstage!

 

“What a way to start the show, folks!  A new deputy commissioner, a humiliation of the Carnival, and an unbelievable main event: it’s Edwin MacPhisto and Perfect Bo for the #1 contendership, and it’s on…tonight!  Don’t go anywhere!  Rotten gets his shot at Stryke and the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship, next!”

 

We cut to commercial on the Carnies rising to their feet, trying to figure out what went wrong…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

HARDCORE TITLE MATCH

Stryke © vs. Johnny Rotten

- Rotten didn’t quite manage to win the heavyweight title, but can he manage to become a 2-time hardcore champ this Monday?

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are not in effect.  Submissions, pinfalls and knockouts count anywhere within the arena.

 

HANDICAP MATCH

Hville Thugg vs. Thoth & Fallout

- Thugg was not pleased when Stubby named the Suicide King his deputy, and made it very clear to the man himself.  Seeing Thugg a little "rusty" after his shake-ups with Rotten last week, King decided to exercise his newfound power once more and booked the World Champ in a handicap match against Fallout and Thoth!

Match Description - Disqualification and count-out rules are in effect, but Fallout and Thoth don't have to tag in.  It's a straight 2-on-1.

 

3-WAY TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Jay Dawg & Sacred © vs. Erek Taylor & Munich vs. El Luchadore Magnifico & Chris Raynor

- Dawg and Sacred defeated Magnifico and Raynor on Storm and now they get their rematch.  Erek Taylor and Munich have both recently scored singles victories of the Carnie team as well and have been thrown into the mix for good, 6-man measure!

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are in effect.  3 men are allowed in the ring at once and each wrestler can only tag his designated partner.  The first team to score a pinfall, submission or knockout is the winner.

 

SWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE #1 CONTENDERS MATCH

Edwin MacPhisto vs. Perfect Bo

- At the top of the show, Stubby fired Rotten and made the Suicide King his new deputy commissioner.  His first order of business was to book this #1 contenders match…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

The BI-LO Center erupts to life, SWF Smarkdown returning to the air. The camera zooms around the packed stands, the Greenville fans yelling their brains out as the camera quickly moves down and settles on the commentary duo of doom, NTD and Curry Man.

 

Curry: “Welcome back to Smarkdown fans. Well we’ve all just seen that big opening promo, but before we get into that right now we’ve got what should be a brutal and bloody contest for the Hardcore Gamers Title.”

 

NTD: “Indeed, the champ Stryke gets to rack up another successful title defence, beating that damn Carnie Johnny Rotten to bits.”

 

Curry: “Well I don’t know about that NTD, Stryke is coming off a series of impressive victories, most recently defying the odds and retaining in a Gauntlet match against 3 opponents, stamping himself as a force in the Hardcore Division. But Johnny Rotten is coming off a win against the Hville Thugg, and last Storm coming oh-so close to becoming the SWF World Heavyweight Champion.”

 

NTD: “Oh-so close doesn’t cut it in this business, Thugg beat him fair and square. Just like Stryke will.”

 

Curry: “We’ll have to wait and see on that, Rotten is a former Hardcore Gamers Champ as well, so he’s not going to shy away from a Hardcore match. Well lets wait no longer, lets bring out the competitors.”

 

"Anarchy in the U.K" by the Sex Pistols starts to play, the fans going up in cheers as a few explosions dispense from the entrance ramp, as the song starts. "I am an antichrist, yeah I'm an anarchist... Don't know what I want, but I know how to get it..." As the lyrics continue Johnny Rotten appears on top of the stage, the crowd roaring 9n approval at the Deputy Commissioner.

 

Funyon: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is for the SWF HARDCORE GAMERS TITLE! Entering first the challenger, weighing in at 260lbs and hailing from Indianapolis, Indiana, the SWF Deputy Commissioner, JOHNNY ROTTEN!!!”

 

With the crowd’s ovation continuing Rotten makes his way down the ramp, sliding into the ring and preparing himself for the match.

 

Curry: “Rotten in the ring now, and with Da Pound currently in possession of most of the SWF Titles he’ll be eager to return some gold to the Carnival.”

 

Right on cue “Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit kicks up, 4 blue fireworks blasting up from the stage, before 4 silver fireworks blast up from the same spots a second later. Finally, a huge blue flame of pyro blasts up from the middle of the entranceway, and when the sparks and smoke clears, Stryke is standing on top of the entranceway, his arms out in a crucifix position, Hardcore belt around his waist.

 

Funyon: “Now entering the ring, weighing 209lbs from Sydney, Australia, the defending SWF HARDCORE GAMERS CHAMPION, STRYKE!!!”

 

After standing there a moment to absorb the thunderous boos of the crowd, Stryke heads down the ramp and quickly slides into the ring, before making his way to the far ring corner and climbing up, raising his right arm to the fans, resulting in another wave of hatred for the Australian. As the fans boo their hearts out Stryke hops down into the ring and prepares for the match.

 

NTD: “The champ is here, he’ll put that Carnie in his place.”

 

Curry: “Well whatever happens it should be a top quality contest, either man can take this.”

 

DING DING DING!

 

Stryke takes his Hardcore Title belt off, but with Rotten turned away Stryke charges, looking to catch him unawares with a belt shot. Rotten turns to face his opponent just in time though, seeing Stryke and dodging in the nick of time, getting out of the way of Stryke’s attempted belt shot. Stryke turns and looks to go after Rotten again, but this time Rotten is set, catching Stryke and lifting him up, sending him high before dropping down with him in a big hip toss, slamming Stryke hard into the mat. Stryke drops the belt and gets back to his feet, but is immediately set upon by Rotten, who lays in a barrage of punches, each shot knocking Stryke back towards the ropes. Rotten takes Stryke by the arm and whips him across the ring to the opposite ropes, and as he rebounds back Rotten moves in and catches the Showstopper in another hip toss, lefting him high and sending him crashing down right on top of the Hardcore Title belt, the fans going crazy at Rotten’s early dominance. With Stryke down and in pain Rotten hops down, going for the cover on Stryke.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

THR… No, Stryke kicks out without too much trouble.

 

NTD: “Bah, accursed Carnie, he must be cheating, Stryke should be winning.”

 

Curry: “How can he be cheating in a match with no rules pray tell?”

 

NTD: “Well, uh… I don’t bloody know, but he is.”

 

Rotten gets to his knees and grabs Stryke by the arm, dragging him up off the mat, pulling back on the arm as he does so. With both men up on their feet Rotten pulls Stryke arm back into a hammerlock, pulling it back up behind Stryke’s back. Stryke doesn’t let Rotten keep the hold on for long though, fighting out of the hold with a series of back elbows, jarring Rotten’s head and causing him to stumble back. Stryke, having escaped runs forward, bouncing into the ropes to get up a head of steam before charging back at the dazed Carnival member. Stryke goes for a clothesline against his bigger opponent, but Rotten sees him coming, ducking down and lifting Stryke over in a back body drop, to the cheers of the crowd. But on the way down Stryke rotates over, landing on his feet and grabbing the tights of Rotten as he lands, rolling him up from behind for a quick pin.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

TH… No, Rotten kicks out, escaping the pinning predicament.

 

Curry: “Stryke’s agility and speed advantage coming into play there, landing on his feet and quickly rolling Johnny Rotten up, nearly stealing a victory out of nowhere.”

 

NTD: “Stryke certainly has the quickness advantage over that big slowpoke Rotten, he’ll run rings around him.”

 

Curry: “He may very well be able to do that, but size and strength are on Rotten’s side. Both men will have to play to their strengths to win here.”

 

After the roll up both men get up fast, but it’s Stryke there first, grabbing hold of Rotten and sliding around behind him, placing the Carnival member in a rear waistlock, setting up for a German Suplex. Stryke attempt’s to get the bigger man over, but Rotten is able to shift his weight and stop Stryke from getting him over, setting him back on his feet. With Stryke having expended a good deal of energy trying to get Rotten over, he is unable to avoid Rotten lashing out with some back elbows of his own, delivered with deadly accuracy, smashing right into the face of Stryke and causing him to let go of Rotten. Rotten turns and grabs onto Stryke, cranking away with a side headlock, attempting to crush Stryke’s head with his arms. Stryke moves with Rotten and forces him back onto the ropes, using the spring the ring ropes provide to propel himself free, launching himself across the ring towards the opposite ropes. Stryke bounces off and returns, as Rotten charges forward and lifts his boot up, looking to smack the bottom of his foot into Stryke’s face with a big boot. But just as the foot nears his head Stryke ducks down underneath it, and as he does he also reaches down, picking the Hardcore Title belt up off the mat. Rotten turns after missing the move, but walks right into a belt shot from Stryke, the Australian drilling the hard plate of the belt into Rotten’s forehead and knocking him to the mat. With the fans booing strongly Stryke drops the belt and drapes himself over the Rotten one, going for a pin.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

THRE… No, Rotten turns his body to the side, getting his left shoulder up off the mat before the 3 count.

 

NTD: “Oooh, Stryke smacking Johnny Rotten’s face into a pancake with that hard belt shot, Stryke utilising it very well as a weapon.”

 

Stryke grabs the Title belt and gets back to his feet, wasting no time in following up his attack. With Rotten laid out on the mat Stryke takes the belt in his right hand, before swinging down with it, slapping the belt across Rotten’s flesh. As boos reign down Rotten arches up in pain, but Stryke doesn’t relent, whipping him again and again, the belt hitting hard into Rotten’s body. Rotten tries to crawl to some element of safety, getting to the ropes and pulling himself to his feet as Stryke continues the onslaught. He gets up, and Stryke tries to smash Rotten across the head with the belt again, but this time Rotten is able to get his hand up in the nick of time, extending his thumb and jamming it into Stryke’s throat. Stryke immediately drops the belt and reels back, dropping to his knees clutching at his throat, the Rotten Spike leaving Stryke gasping for breath.

 

Curry: “A desperation move from Johnny Rotten, but a very effective one, the Rotten Spike completely halting Stryke’s momentum and leaving him in quite a spot of bother.”

 

NTD: “Rotten’s lucky, that blasted Rotten Spike would disqualify him under normal circumstances. It’s alright though, Stryke can play dirty as well.”

 

With Stryke down holding his throat Rotten stands and grabs the title belt, but instead of attacking Stryke with it the former Tag Team and Hardcore Gamers Champ moves over towards the announce table side of the ring and rolls out of the ring, handing the belt to the timekeeper for safe keeping, to the disappointment of the blood thirsty South Carolina fans. But that disappointment is quickly replaced with rapturous cheers, as Johnny reaches down and picks up a steel chair, folding it up and heading back into the ring.

 

Curry: “Rotten upgrading the weaponry here, going from the belt to a steel chair. And with both men being quite familiar with the hardcore style we should be in for some brutality here.”

 

Rotten drops the chair in the middle of the ring, and goes over to Stryke, who is just getting to his feet. But before he can Rotten takes him by the arm, pulling him to the mat and applying an armbar with a nervehold, focusing on the arm and shoulder of Stryke, wrenching away and putting maximum pressure on.

 

NTD: “No, Rotten can’t make you submit Stryke, find a way out, the Midnight Carnival’s not allowed to have any title belts!”

 

Stryke yells out in pain, but Rotten doesn’t relent, keeping the hold on with deadly proficiency. Stryke refuses to tap though, and after a good amount of time in the hold Rotten lets go, leaving Stryke to hold the affected area in pain while Rotten stands back up, moving and picking up the steel chair once more.

 

Curry: “It looks as though Rotten wasn’t going for the submission there, instead merely weakening him for whatever he has planned with that steel chair. It may very well work wonders as well.”

 

Rotten has the chair in hand, standing behind Stryke who is just starting to sit up, the fans cheering in expectation of what is to come. Stryke fully sits up, and that’s when Rotten makes his move, charging past Stryke at bouncing off the ropes, bouncing off and nailing Stryke in the face with a sitdown dropkick, kicking the chair right into Stryke’s face in a big impact, a big ‘aaahhh’ going up as Rotten kicks Stryke’s head into orbit. Rotten moves over and covers Stryke, the fans counting along with the pin.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

THRE… NO, Stryke just kicks out, much to the displeasure of the very pro-Rotten and pro-Carnival crowd.

 

Curry: “Oh my, Rotten kicking that chair right into Stryke’s head! Stryke barely kicks out, but it looks like that’s opened Stryke’s head up, blood now apparent on Stryke’s forehead.”

 

Rotten gets up to his feet, the fans starting up a ‘ROTTEN!’ chant in support of the deputy commish. Placing the chair in the middle of the ring, Rotten pulls Stryke up, and moving next to the chair Rotten sets the Australian in postion for a German Suplex, looking to fold Stryke up on the chair. As the crowd cheers Rotten lifts Stryke over, but just as he starts to go down Stryke rotates over, utilising his agility to land on his feet behind Rotten. Before Johnny has a chance to react Stryke turns and grabs Rotten around the back of the head, dropping him to the mat with a swift neckbreaker, landing his head right on the chair to add to the impact. Stryke quickly floats over and covers Rotten, looking for the win.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

THREE… NO, Rotten kicks his feet out and gets his shoulders up in the nick of time.

 

NTD: “What a reversal from Stryke, escaping the German onto the chair and hitting a neckbreaker on the chair instead.”

 

Stryke gets up to his feet, although rather gingerly from the punishment he’s taken so far in the match. Grabbing the chair from under Rotten, the crowd goes up in jeers as Stryke quickly ascends the turnbuckle, reaching the top with chair in hand.

 

Curry: “Stryke embracing his high flying nature, going up top. And with the chair in hand this should be quite the suicidal maneuver.”

 

Stryke is up top facing into the ring, and wasting little time he leaps off, spinning horizontally 360 degrees and coming down hard on top of Rotten with a high impact splash, holding the chair to his chest for extra impact with the Star Cross. Boos sound forth as Stryke hits the move, but the Australian can’t immediately follow up with a pin, the chair in the chest hurting him almost as much as it did Rotten. Stryke is able to fight through the pain though, crawling over and draping himself over Rotten for the pin.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

THREE… NO! Rotten just kicks out with little time to spare, a big cheer going up as he does so.

 

Curry: “What a suicidal move, the Star Cross with a chair! But the damage Stryke took from the move as well may have cost him a match winning pin there.”

 

NTD: “Well I’d say it hurt Rotten more than it hurt Stryke, Stryke will get the pin next time, I’m sure of it.”

 

Stryke slowly gets himself back to his feet, Rotten too crawling to the ropes in front of the announce desk and using them to help himself up. As Rotten gets up next to the ropes Stryke sets himself, chair in hand waiting for Rotten to turn around. Rotten turns and Stryke charges in, looking to tattoo Rotten’s head with the chair, but at the last second he ducks under, Stryke’s chair hitting into the top rope and bouncing back up, smacking himself in the face to a big cheer. Stryke slowly turns dazed from the chair to the face, and turns just in time to see Rotten charge in, nailing the chair with a big boot, kicking it back into Stryke’s face and sending him clear over the top rope to the floor outside, the chair dropping to the mat right next to the ropes and the fans go crazy.

 

Curry: “Boy oh boy, he kicked him right out of the ring, the chair to the face doing nothing to help the cut already opened up.”

 

As Stryke is sprawled out on the floor Rotten hops out of the ring, getting to the floor and moving to the area next to the announce table, getting one of the ring crew out of the way and grabbing another chair!

 

NTD: “I guess one chair ain’t enough. Just means twice the pummeling for Rotten, that’s all.”

 

Curry: “Well Rotten’s the one with the chair, so Stryke looks like the one in trouble right now.”

 

Stryke is on his hands and knees, and Rotten moves in, raising the chair high before slamming it down into the back of Stryke, sending him back to the floor once again. Rotten looks to take advantage of it, dropping to his knees and covering Stryke on the floor, the ref hopping out of the ring and counting the fall.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

THREE… NO! Stryke thrusts his right arm up and gets his shoulder up in time to stop the count.

 

Curry: “It’s falls count anywhere, and Rotten almost took great advantage of that, getting a very close fall there.”

 

Rotten hops up, and Stryke too starts to drag himself up. Rotten steps back and as Stryke gets on his feet he swings the chair at Stryke’s head. The Australian gets a burst of energy though, ducking underneath the chair. Rotten turns to get after Stryke again, but Stryke quickly launches a superkick at Rotten, smashing the chair back in his face with the Heatseeker.

 

NTD: “Oh yeah, Rotten making the mistake of letting Stryke recover, and it cost him there, Heatseeker into the chair.”

 

With Rotten down on the mat Stryke moves across and lifts up the apron, reaching under and latching onto a table, dragging it out from under the ring to a cheer.

 

Curry: “Well it wouldn’t be a hardcore title match without a table popping up somewhere, and as long as it isn’t our announce table I’m happy.”

 

Stryke takes it out and unfolds the legs, standing it up on the floor. But in the time ti takes to do this Rotten is getting back up right behind Stryke, and as Stryke turns Rotten grabs onto him, whipping him right into the nearest steel steps, Stryke colliding hard into them.

 

NTD: “Blast that Rotten, sneaking up behind Stryke, that’s not very fair. He should wait until he’s turned around and have a fair fight.”

 

With Stryke reeling Rotten grabs him and rolls him back in, grabbing the chair that sits on the floor and throwing it in as well. Rolling in after him Rotten moves in, grabbing the chair and placing it with the other one in the middle of the ring, before moving over to Stryke. Rotten lays in a few stomps to keep Stryke down, before placing the Australian in powerbomb position. Rotten powers Stryke up to his shoulders, holding him ready to powerbomb onto the chairs as the crowd cheers. But Rotten has a change of mind, instead moving to the ropes and looking to powerbomb Stryke out of the ring through the table. Seeing this the fans explode to their feet, going ballistic with cheers.

 

Curry: “Holy manatees, this’ll destroy Stryke, a powerbomb from the ring through the table!”

 

Rotten has Stryke set, but before he can hit the move Stryke fights back, nailing a series of punches and getting himself free. Landing on his feet Stryke kicks Rotten in the midsection, before placing his leg over his head for the Recoil! Boos reign down on Stryke, but Rotten too fights back, sliping out while Stryke’s distracted with the crowd. Stryke throws a punch, but Rotten ducks and gets in behind, grabbing Stryke in an unprettier position setting for the Rotten Day!

 

NTD: “Dammit no! Think of something Stryke, if he hits the Rotten Day it’ll be over!”

 

Rotten turns Stryke around, but before he can hit the move Stryke runs forward, getting his arms free and pushing Rotten away. Rotten turns around, but as he does Stryke reaches down and picks up a chair, catchig Rotten off guard and drilling him in the head with it, knocking him to the mat, huge boos sounding that Stryke escaped Rotten’s finisher. Stryke isn’t done though, using the chair to nail Rotten a few more times, driving him towards the ring ropes and the table.

 

Curry: “Stryke looks to be on top now, and seems to be heading to the table. This could be bad for Rotten.”

 

Stryke gets Rotten on the floor and tosses the chair back in the ring, before laying in a volley of punches and rolling him on top of the table. With massive boos echoing forth and Rotten still on the table Stryke hops up onto the apron, before looking back to ensure Rotten’s still down. Stryke then runs along the apron to the turnbuckle, leaping up to the top turnbuckle, his feet pushing off as Stryke flips back in a lionsault. Cameras flash rapidly as Stryke flies through the air, before crashing down on top of Rotten with the Meteor, sending the pair of them crashing through the table to the floor, a huge ‘aaahhh’ going up as they do so.

 

NTD: “Holy crap, a Meteor through the table! What a suicidal move, that may have killed both of them!”

 

Curry: “Stryke putting it all on the line to finish Rotten off, and if he can manage a cover that may be enough!”

 

A ‘Holy Shit!’ chant starts up as both men are in a heap on the floor, neither showing much signs of life. Slowly though Stryke starts to inch over to where Rotten lays in the broken table, getting his arm on top for the pin.

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE….. NO! Incredibly Rotten kicks out, the entire building exploding in cheers.

 

Curry: “Dear god, how did Rotten kick out?! Somehow Rotten survives a Meteor through the table, what will it take to finish one of these men off?”

 

NTD: “Friggin Carnie, how the hell did he kick out of that?”

 

After a long period where neither man moves much, both men hurting from the Meteor through the table, they slowly crawl back into the ring, getting on the apron and dragging themselves in, making their way to the pair of chairs sitting in the ring. Both men struggle up to their feet, each grabbing onto a steel chair as they get up. Both are obviously exhausted and feeling the effects of the match, but they ignore the pain and continue on. Both men get to their feet and immediately swing the chairs at each other, both chairs colliding against each other with a loud metallic clank. They swing again, and again, and again, each time the chairs hitting into each other, both men seemingly having a duel. Again they swing, but as Johnny Rotten launches a hard chair shot targeted at Stryke’s head the Showstopper drops to his knees, avoiding the incoming chair shot and taking his own chair, thrusting up and connecting hard with the Genitalia region of Rotten, the Carnie letting go of the chair and dropping to his knees in pain as the crowd reacts with savage boos.

 

NTD: “Yes, what a clever move from Stryke, avoiding the incoming shot and hitting Rotten right in the mommy daddy button.”

 

Curry: “It’s hardly an honorable tactic, but it is effective. After all the punishment both men have taken in this brutal contest can Stryke finally find a way to win here?”

 

As Rotten’s face is etched with pain Stryke gets back to his feet, holding his chair in his right hand and picking up the chair Rotten had with his left. A chair in each hand, Stryke calls for Rotten to get up, waiting for him to get up on his feet. Rotten stands back up, still in obvious pain, and that pain is only multiplied as Stryke rears back with both chairs, before bringing them together, slamming them hard on both sides of Rotten’s head with a vicious one-man conchairto, a very loud ‘ooohhh’ going up from the sold out crowd, but Rotten doesn’t drop to the mat, instead remaining up, almost out on his feet.

 

Curry: “Good god, a one man conchairto! That has to be it, Rotten’s brains will be scrambled after that.”

 

Rotten is still on his feet, extremely woozy, but Stryke isn’t satisfied, bringing the chairs back before slamming them together in another savage one man conchairto, both chairs cracking into Rotten’s skull. But again, the Carnie doesn’t drop, Rotten again amazingly remaining on his feet! But that only serves to further frustrate and anger the defending Hardcore Gamers Champ, the bloody faced Stryke taking a step back, before lining up a third devastating one man conchairto.

 

NTD: “Damn that Rotten, why won’t he just go down. Kicking out of the Untamed against Thugg, a Meteor through a table, two one man conchairto’s, what does it take to finish him off?”

 

Curry: “Oh come on Stryke, this is too much, he could pin him right now, but he seems more interested in hurting Rotten than winning the match. Another one man conchairto is completely unnecessary!”

 

Stryke doesn’t care though, and he moves in, swinging both chairs and smashing them as hard as he can into Rotten’s head for a third one man conchairto, a massive ‘ooohhh’ eminating from the crowd as Stryke at last drops the chairs, but yet again Rotten remains on his feet!

 

NTD: “What?! How the hell is he still up, he has to be finished, he has to be!”

 

Stryke is standing almost shocked that Rotten is still up, but he at last begins to topple, falling forward. Stryke’s in position though, catching Rotten on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. With the volume of boos almost shaking the arena Stryke hoists the larger man up, before swinging Rotten’s legs out and dropping down to the mat, hitting a diamond cutter from the fireman’s carry position, the Overdrive.

 

Curry: “The Overdrive! It’s the move he won the title with, will it at last be enough to put Johnny Rotten away?”

 

As the fans boo their hearts out  Stryke rolls Rotten onto his back and hooks the far leg, the referee circling into position and counting the pin.

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

DING DING DING!

 

“Break Stuff” hits, the fans exploding into enourmous boos as the referee calls for the belt to be handed into the ring, the referee handing Stryke the Hardcore Gamers Title as he gets to his feet.

 

Funyon: “The winner by pinfall, and STILL SWF HARDCORE GAMERS CHAMPION, STRYKE!!!”

 

NTD: “Yes, Stryke wins! No gold for the Carnie’s tonight.

 

Curry: “Well that was one hell of a contest, both men giving everything, and in the end it took 3 one man conchairto’s and the Overdrive to put Rotten down for the 3 count. And we’ve still got plenty more to offer you on Smarkdown fans, coming up right after the break.”

 

The bloody faced Stryke takes the belt and heads up the ramp, giving the crowd a middle finger as he goes up the ramp to show just how he feels about them, the crowd throwing trash and spent drinks at the Showstopper as Smarkdown goes to commercial break.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

“KING?!?  KING?!?  THE MUTHA FUCKIN’ SUICIDE KING?!?  WHAT THE FUCK!?!”

 

HVT stands over Stubby in his office, spit flying out of his mouth as he screams at the commissioner.  Stubby is frantically shoving papers from his desk into his briefcase, not really paying too much attention to the angry black man ranting in his office.

 

(HVT) – What the fuck were you thinking???  King??  I can’t stand that fuckin’ cry baby bitch!  Why him??  What the fuck man?

 

(Stubby) – I don’t have time for this right now Thugg.  Can’t you see I’m trying to pack.  I’m already late as is…

 

(HVT) – Are you trying to piss me off?!?  King!!  I can’t even begin to tell you what’s wrong with this!

 

(Stubby) – Well that’s just too damn bad.  I’ve got a lot of traveling to do, so I need someone to handle business while I’m gone.

 

(HVT) – But King??  There’s plenty of people better than that fuck!!

 

Stubby stops what he’s doing and looks up at HVT, no fear in his face whatsoever.

 

(Stubby) – Thugg, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!  Just fucking deal and stop whining!

 

(HVT) – Whining?  I’m whining??  Stubby…you need to check yo self cuz!  You fuckin’ hire one of my worst enemies to help you run this shit…what the fuck is wrong with you?  

 

Stubby goes back to searching for papers on his desk while HVT begins to pace the room.

 

(HVT) – God-fuckin-dammit!

 

(Stubby) – Just get outta here man.  I’m late and I don’t have time to deal with your bitching.

 

HVT, obviously enraged, grabs Stubby by the shoulder and turns him around…

 

(HVT) – YO!  I’m tellin’ you man.  You treadin’ on this fuckin’ ice bro…thin fuckin’ ice!  You need me bitch, not King!  King ain’t shit…I’m the world fuckin’ champ!  You should be talking to me about this shit first.

 

(Stubby) – I don’t got to talk to you about shit!  I’m the commissioner, which means I’m in charge!  And as of right now, when I’m not here, the Suicide King is in charge!  You WILL do what he says, or you’ll have me to deal with.  I’m real busy right now, so I don’t want to have to come back here and deal with your shit…or Edwin…or Bo…or any of you fucks.  You’re only where you are because I let you be, so don’t get too big for your britches!

 

HVT fumes as Stubby is up in his face right now.  HVT stares daggers into Stubby, but appears to yield at this juncture.

 

(HVT) – Yo, you just better tell that little shit to stay the fuck outta my way or he’ll regret it.  I got enough problems of my own dealing with Bo and cleaning up YOUR fuckin’ mess with Edwin!  King had better just stay his ass back here and stay the hell outta my way.

 

An angry HVT turns and storms to the door.  He throws the door back to leave, but standing there in the doorway is none other than the Suicide King himself.

 

(King) – Hey Th…

 

SLAM!!

 

HVT slams the door straight in King’s face, and then turns back to Stubby who has resumed his packing.

 

(HVT) – You tell him!  STAY THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY, OR I WILL WRECK HIS SHIT!

 

Stubby doesn’t respond, but instead just continues packing as HVT throws the door back again.  This time, King and HVT meet eye to eye with no words exchanging.  After only a few moments, HVT pushes by King, shoving him into the door frame, and then storms down the hall.  King watches him leave for a moment before stepping into the Stubby’s office.

 

(King) – Angry fella, ain’t he?

 

Stubby ignores King as well as he scampers behind his own desk to retrieve a set of keys from his desk.

 

(King) – You know, I’ve been thinking.  I’ve watch Thugg for the last month or so, and he’s looking a bit rusty.  I mean, losing to Rotten…losing to Thoth…he’s certainly not the Thugg of old.  So, I’m thinking that to get him ready for Crossfire, I’d give him a few tune up matches.

 

(Stubby) – I don’t care what you do.  I gotta go, I’m late…you’re in charge.

 

(King) – Well, I was thinking of putting him against Thoth and Fallout in a handicap match next.

 

(Stubby) – WHY DOESN’T ANYONE LISTEN!  I’M LEAVING!  YOU’RE IN CHARGE!

 

King grins from ear to ear as Stubby tosses him a set of keys, and then dives back behind his desk to grab some papers he nearly forgot.

 

(King) – Do you think he’ll get…

 

(Stubby) – Dammit King!  I didn’t hire you so you could ask me 20 questions!  Just go tell the big lug he’s next…I’m outta here!  

 

Stubby throws the door to his office back, and shakes his head as he whispers to himself…

 

(Stubby) - Imbeciles…all of them.  Is this what I’m working with here…

 

King follows Stubby out of the room, and as Stubby heads towards the parking lot, King screams from the doorway.

 

(King) – Don’t worry Stubbs…I got it covered.  Don’t worry about Edwin either…I’ll make sure he leaves you be…

 

Stubby is out of ear shot…

 

(King) – And don’t worry about Thugg either…he’ll be ready for the PPV.

 

King snickers as he tosses the keys to himself and then dashes to the phone.  He presses 3 numbers quickly and then puts the receiver to his ear…

 

(King) – Stan!  Get the Clan’s music and Thugg’s music ready, they’re next!  

 

King hangs the phone up and then grins sinisterly to himself as the fans can be heard booing all the way from ringside.

 

(NTD) – Can you believe it??

 

(Curry) – King’s got the power, and it’s already going to his head!  Handicap action…Hville Thugg versus The Clan…Thoth and Fallout…NEXT!

 

Smarkdown fades to commercial…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

“We should re-name it to the Markmobile.” Raynor said looking at the gulf cart inside the Carnival’s locker room…

 

“That’s a great idea ese…  Me gusta mucho.”  ELM said, speaking English and Spanish at the same time (At home, they called that spanglish.)

 

Raynor turns around to ask Edwin…  Edwin is sitting all alone, not really saying anything, not being his own self as Raynor said: “Eddie Mac…”

 

Edwin doesn’t turn around but he does look up and said: “Yeah.”

 

“What do you think of re-naming the cart to Markmobile?”

 

The name Mark just makes him remember of all the good times they had together and especially the bad ones…  One that quickly jumps to his mind was when he had to wrestle him so he can survive in the WF, but not only that, at the process he had to retire Mark from the league.

 

Edwin twirls around to face Raynor who has a big smile formed on his lips.  Edwin opens his mouth to speak when…

 

Knock, Knock, Knock…

 

The Carnies all look at each other to see who’s missing from the bunch.  ELM begins to count as he points to Raynor then Edwin then himself the putting up his index, middle and ring finger up displaying the number three.  Raynor does the same thing as looks of confusion flows through the blood of their faces.  They all look at each other and all smile at the same time while saying this at the same time:  “Rotten…”

 

“He must be back from the gym, that dude really wants to win that title…” Raynor said pumping himself up for Rotten.  Well, in Rotten’s behalf.

 

Raynor goes to the door, he turns the knob and pulls the door open to reveal…

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny Rotten!!!  (Thought I was going to say Bo didn’t you?)

 

Dripping of sweat is Rotten as he breathes hard in exhaustion although he still looks pumped up.

 

“Had a good work out Rotten?”  Edwin said.

 

“The work out was DYNOMITE!”

 

“That’s good to hear…  Were you alone?  Did you see Stubby?”

 

“No I wasn’t alone and no I didn’t see Stubby.”

 

“Who was with you in the gym?” Raynor asks…  “At this time of day, the gym is usually empty.”

 

“You won’t guess who it is…  I was even surprise…”

 

“Oye…  Cyclone Comet!?”

 

The rest of the Carnies just look at ELM with a retarded look on their faces.  They all shake their head No but at the same time it seems that the headshake was kind of saying “You stupid.”  Then all their heads turn back to Rotten who is still standing by the door.

 

“Well, this person and I do have a history…” Rotten said, he then walks in the room to display that behind him was Bo standing there with a big smile on his face.  Raynor and ELM’s face went and shifts into so many moods that they don’t know what to think as Edwin just stand there, kind of happy and at the same time kind of lost with what to think with Bo.

 

“What’s crackin ya?”

 

“What?”  Raynor said…

 

Looking at Rotten is ELM as he ask:  “Que dijo este maricon?”

 

Bo just smiles, as he knows what ELM is saying as he answers:  “I said what’s up?”

 

“Hey Bo…  How you doing?”

 

“I’m good Edwin, and yourself?”

 

“Still a little down, but you know have to get by, and I will once I get my hands around Stubby’s throat.”

 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.  Can I come in?”

 

“Oh yeah, come in…”

 

Bo enters the room and closed the door behind him as he walks by Rotten who pats him in the back and walk by Raynor and ELM who has big smiles.  He goes right to Edwin and sits down in front of him and the conversation starts.

 

“Aight check this.  You want Stubby, I want Thugg, Stubby throws Thugg in your way, you have to go through Thugg to get to Stubby, right?”

 

“Yeah, and your point is…”

 

“I want Thugg.  Stubby throws him to you, I’ll be there, you have to fight him, I’ll be there, plain out and simple I want his head.”

 

“We all know that, but why are you telling me?”

 

“Alright Edwin, please don’t take this as a threat because it’s not…  I’m just letting you know that I will go through anybody and/or everybody to get to him…  Even you.”

 

“That’s the problem man, I have no choice but to face him and if you have to go through me at the process, don’t think I wont be prepare for you.”

 

“Well that’s is a problem because tonight we have no choice but to face each other.  Don’t think I’m going to go easy on you, Thugg gotten personal and I’m going to take it personal and if you get in the way than that means you gotten personal.”

 

“Well Bo, Stubby made it personal when he made me retired Mark…  I didn’t want to do it and I know he feels the same way but Stubby did it anyways.  Now he puts Thugg in the way so I don’t get to him and he puts you in the way so I can face Thugg so after I face Thugg and beat him I can go after him.  Now that is personal to me, and I will have to go through you to get to him.”

 

“You see, there’s a flip side to that story, what if you do have me on smash, and you will do anything to get your hands on him.  I will not hesitate to do what I have to do to take you out…  Cheers or no cheers, respect or no respect you will taste my wrath in order so Thugg can taste my wrath.”

 

Edwin, Rotten and ELM shifts their heads back and fourth from Bo and Edwin, one speak a phrase than the other one follows.

 

“I know your wrath, and I think we all know it too because of that gun bid…  Wow, that was unbelievable.”

 

“Yeah but they were fake guns.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what makes it unique dude.”

 

A voice from the side said:  “Yeah dude.”

 

“Dude, that was so awesome.”

 

“Duuude”

“Dude, I mean, dude…  Wow dude…”

 

“DYNOMITE, dude.”

 

The word dude echoes all around the room as Bo’s head turns this way, then that way, dude here and dude there…  

 

“Dude, Dude…” Edwin smiles and nods.  “Duuuuude”

 

“Dude, dude, I mean, dude, dude that was dudalicious.  Dude…”

 

“Oye Duuuu.”

 

Bo puts his hands on his ears and screamed:  “STOOOOOPPPP!!!”  The carnies stop saying the word dude as they just stare at him.  Bo removes his hands from his ears and asked:  “What in the hell is your obsession with the word dude?  Dammit, ya say it all the time.”

 

“Let me break it down.” Raynor said as he steps up to the plate, stopping Edwin from responding.

 

“Dude is such a universal word that you can actually put it into many different emotions…  For example…

 

“Mad:” Raynor puts a serious face right now, he’s a bit pissed off at something as he says:  “Dude, do that again, dude, I will beat your ass, dude…  DUDE!”

 

“Happy:” Raynor quickly flipped that frown upside down into a happy face and begins to jump around like a clown.  “Dude, you shouldn’t have…  Oh my god, I’m sooo happy dude, you have no idea…”

 

“Shock:” He opens his eyes so that his pupils pops out as he points towards the door for no apparent reason as he says:  “Dude, oh my god did you see that?  Dude, oh man, you should have seen that.”

 

“Plotting something:” Raynor shifts his face into a frightening menacing look as a sick smile emerges from his lips and rubs the palm of his hands together and he says:  “Du-uu-uu-uuude.”

 

“A question:” Raynor does that Michael Cole shrugging his shoulder bid and says: “Dude?”

 

“An Answer:” Raynor puts the face of Crash Holly without crossing his arms or putting his hands by his chin.  A more of a “Damn you stupid” look as he says: “Dude!”

 

“Now Bo, those are just some of the emotions that applies with the word “Dude,” see how universal it is?”

 

Bo shakes his head in approval, a bit of a smirk emerges on his face as he says:  “I got you, that word is like the word that I use at home…”

 

“And what word might that be?”

 

“Son.”

 

The whole carnies started laughing, everybody except Rotten as he jumps in by saying:  “Dude, I’ve always wanted to know what was up with that word son…  Isn’t that a child, your kid, your son…  Or are you talking about the sun, the star that lights us up and heats us up?”

 

“Nah man, I’m talking about son…  It’s Universal as well, check this out…”

 

“Pissed the fuck off:” Now Bo puts an angry look, upper lips starts to twitch, eyes shrink in anger as he says: “I’ll fuckin kill you son, son, I will fuckin kill you.

 

“You feel fuckin joyful:” A big smile forms on Bo’s face, eyes calmed, body relaxed as he states: “Yo son, that was the shit son, that’s my word son that shit was poppin son.”

 

“Shocked the fuck up:” Bo just stands there, preparing himself for something as all eyes are on him and all of a sudden he jumps and points at Rotten and said: “Oh son, what the fuck is that?”

 

Rotten looks around and asks: “What?  Where?”

 

“On your face son, on your face?”

 

“What’s on my face?”

 

Bo exhales as he said: “Oh my bad son, that was just your face, it looked scary for a moment son…  Thank god.”

 

“You see how I flipped two emotion into one situation?  Just using the word “Son.”

 

Raynor and ELM looks at Rotten and begin to point and laugh.  Bo smiles for a few and then turns to Edwin and said: “Why don’t you try it?”

 

“Sure, I don’t see why not…” Edwin prepares himself by coughing some nasty flem out and said:  “How you doing son?  Are you all right soon?  That’s peachy son.”  Edwin looks directly at Bo and asked: “How was that?”

 

Bo begins to shake his head and said:  “You really make the streets look bad…  My god, you do not have one inch of ghettoness, at least Rotten defended himself back in the day, but you, Jesus Christ you’re sad.”

 

ELM then enters the conversation by stating: “I thought you were pretty good Holmes.”

 

“Yeah me too man…”

 

“Yeah, great way of using Son…”

 

Edwin smiles at all the complement, he turns towards Bo and said:  “Ok, you’re turn.”

 

“My turn what?”

 

“It’s your turn, I want you to say Dude, and you it in a proper sentence.”

 

“I don’t think he could say a proper sentence at all.”  Rotten said causing everybody in the crowd to laugh.

 

Bo begins to scratch his forehead with his middle finger directly at Rotten.  Bo then looks at Edwin and said…

 

“But, I’m not white.”

 

Rotten, ELM, Raynor and Edwin just stares at him in fascination, a look of dumbfounded roams through their faces as a voice is heard, not sure from whom, but the voice said:  “Oh my god…”

 

Then everybody besides Bo starts to laugh as Rotten said: “No shit!”  The Carnies continues to laugh and that’s when Edwin said: “C’mon man, just a few sentences man.”  

 

Bo looks at Edwin and then looks at his watch and said: “Oh shit, I have to get ready for my match.”

 

“But our match isn’t for another hour.”

 

Bo begins to walk out of the door as he said: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, get ready man, no pity, no regrets…  Thug life.”

 

“But.”

 

== Slam ==

 

“Hmmm, I think he was trying to avoid something…”  Raynor said as they all begin to laugh.

 

“Well, it’s all or nothing…  Bo, be prepared.”

[Guest BA_Baracus]

A low bass beat rumbles through the speakers until the eeriness is broken by…

 

“What’s wrong motherfucker? You we’re a man just a minute ago…”

 

…Thoth and Fallout, who break the backstage plane marked off by the black curtain and step onto the stage.

 

(Curry) – Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown, live from the BI-LO Center in Greenville, South Carolina!  What a night it’s been for huge announcements!  First, the Johnny Rotten is fired as deputy commissioner, and then Suicide King is brought in to replace him!!

 

(NTD) – Yeah, talk about your shockers.  This has been one hell of a night so far, and we’ve still got our main event left.

 

The fans continue to boo as Fallout and Thoth stand on the stage, awaiting their announcement from Funyon.

 

(Funyon) – Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a handicap match, scheduled for one fall.  Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of 411 pounds…FALLOUT…THOTH…THE CLLLAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!

 

With their announcement, The Clan seems satisfied and begins to walk down the ramp towards the ring, their heads low and covered by the hoods of their Clan robes.

 

(Curry) – That’s right!  We’ve got a huge main event that was booked just moments ago.  Edwin MacPhisto will take on Bo, with a shot at Thugg’s world title up for grabs.

 

The Clan makes it to the ring, where they both slide in, jump up onto opposite turnbuckles, and pose for the “adoring” fans, who respond by spewing so much hatred that a pit hell may as well just open up where the ring sits.

 

(NTD) – My money’s on Bo in that one.  Edwin wants Stubby, not Thugg…and all Bo wants to do is destroy Thugg.

 

Fallout and Thoth remove their robes, tossing them to the outside where a SWF staff member waits to retrieve them.  They both jump down from their turnbuckles, and then move about the ring, watching the entrance.

 

(Curry) – Yeah, but you’re forgetting that with King here now, Stubby’s gonna be nearly untouchable, and the best way to get to him would probably be through Thugg.

 

(NTD) – Hmmm, good point, buy my money’s still with Bo.  He’s crazy…

 

(Curry) – Yeah, that’s also a factor.

 

The arena goes dark once more, and the chatter of rude fans is broken by the sounds of a sadistic laugh followed by an electric guitar.

 

(Curry) – Speaking of surprises, this match right here was made literally seconds ago.  Suicide King seems to think Thugg needs some fine tuning, and booked this match just before our commercial break.

 

“They don’t know”

“Who we be”

 

(NTD) – Yeah, I know.  Thugg’s getting no time to prepare for The Clan…none whatsoever.  But I think that’s King’s point.  Even I’ve noticed that Thugg has been a bit rusty recently.

 

“They don’t know”

“Who we be”

 

“What they don’t know is…”

 

BOOM!

 

An eruption on the stage leave a wall of fire behind that illuminates the arena.  After a few moments, the fans begin their ritualistic screaming of boos, curses, and hateful slogans as HVT steps to the forefront.  

 

(Funyon) – And their opponent, from Washington, DC…weighing in at 450 pounds…He is the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…THE H…VVVVIIIIIIILLLLLLLEEEEEE TTHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

 

(Curry) – I’m sorry, but no matter how much I hate Thugg, I just can’t rationalize King’s decision to give my 30 seconds notice on a match.  Sounds to me like something else’s at work here.

 

(NTD) – You’re always paranoid about something.  If it’s not King trying to screw Thugg, then it’s King trying to screw Edwin…or Stevens…or your mama.

 

HVT begins his slow descent towards the ring, staring angrily at Fallout and Thoth, two very familiar opponents for the big man.  As the fans shower him with boos, HVT tosses his world title into the ring and pulls himself up to the ring apron.

 

(Curry) – I’m not paranoid…it just seems like something’s up to me.  It’s a known fact that King and Thugg don’t like each other, and it’s quite possible that King’s just making him fight this match because he doesn’t like Thugg.

 

(NTD) – And it’s also possible that you are the biggest pussy this side of Greenville…word.

 

HVT climbs into the ring by stepping over the top rope, and immediately walking to the center of the ring, leaving his title on the canvas.  The referee picks up the title and hands it to an attendant outside the ring, while HVT stares at his two Clan adversaries, both of whom return the stare.

 

(Curry) – Whatever man…I know what I see.  Anyway, we’re ready to go here with this handicap match.  Thugg has faced both these men before, but his work is definitely cut out for him with them both being in the ring at the same time.

 

Fallout moves towards the near ropes, behind HVT, while Thoth remains near the far ropes, facing the SWF champ.

 

DING DING DING

 

(Curry) – And here we go…let’s see if Thugg can take on 2 Clan members at the same time.

 

The bell sounds and HVT jumps out of the gate like a race horse, throwing a hard right hand that staggers the Balancer, and then spinning to throw another that rocks the Nuclear Weapon.  The fans actually cheer slightly as HVT turns back and delivers another punch to Thoth, and then another to Fallout.

 

(Curry) – Hot damn!  Thugg’s coming out guns blazing…

 

(NTD) – He’s trying to get the jump on Fallout and Thoth, hoping to finish them off before they have a chance to really get a rhythm against him.

 

(Curry) – Sounds like sound logic to me.

 

HVT grabs Thoth, pushes him against the far ropes, and whips him to the near ropes.  While Fallout checks his face for damages, Thoth rebounds and runs into a hard HVT clothesline.  Fallout, seeing what’s going on, charges HVT, but Thugg turns around and drops the scum of the earth with a clothesline as well.

 

(Curry) – Two men at once, apparently, is no problem for the HVille Thugg.  He’s just beating Thoth and Fallout like they stole something.

 

Thoth jumps back up to his feet, but when he charges HVT, Thugg just places one hand near his crotch, the other on his chest, and presses the Balancer up over his head in a military press.

 

(Curry) – Thugg with a military press on Thoth.  Tell me NTD, what are your thoughts on the main event tonight…Bo versus Edwin MacPhisto.

 

(NTD) – Like I said earlier, Bo’s kind of insane with revenge right now, and I don’t think Edwin can stand up to that.  It’s gonna be a great match, and I think we should praise King for making it tonight.

 

HVT holds Thoth in the air, and when Fallout gets to his feet, he runs right into a big boot from Thugg.  HVT maintains his press on Thoth as Fallout hits the canvas and holds his face in pain, but he has no time to recover as his eyes get huge when he realizes that he’s helpless to stop the 236 pounds of Thoth from falling on him from 10 feet in the air!

 

(Curry) – Holy cow!  Thugg just threw Thoth on top of Fallout there, and that’s no pleasant feeling for either man.  But back to the main event, I don’t praise King at all.  Just like he did with this match, he didn’t give Bo and Edwin any time to prepare for just a huge match.

 

Thoth bounces off his Clan ally and lands beside him, holding his stomach in pain from landing on Fallout.  HVT doesn’t allow Fallout the option to reel in pain because he immediately grabs the former LHW champion to his feet.  He scoops Fallout up into a scoop slam position, and then drops him ribs first onto his knee, leaving Fallout to fall to the canvas holding his abdomen.

 

(Curry) – Rib Breaker to Fallout as Thugg takes full control.

 

(NTD) – What would King have to gain from making Bo and Edwin fight each other, Mr. ‘I’m-paranoid-about-everything’?

 

HVT pulls Fallout closer to him, drops down, and makes the cover, complete with the forearm in the face.

 

(Curry) – I’m not paranoid about everything, I’m just saying…wait!  Thugg with the cover…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO……

 

(Curry) – No!  Thoth breaks up the count.

 

Thoth drops an axehandle on the back of HVT’s head, breaking the count.  HVT holds the back of his head for just a second before getting up to his feet, where Thoth meets him with a right hand.  HVT staggers a bit from a second blow, but throws a thigh into Thoth’s abdomen to halt the Balancer’s progress, and when Thoth is doubled, HVT drives the point of his elbow into the back of Thoth’s head, dropping him to his knees.

 

(Curry) – Back comes Thoth…but that’s stopped real quickly!  Thugg back in control.  As I was saying though, I’m not paranoid.  I just know King, and he doesn’t just do things because they will benefit other people or the company.  So, this match must benefit him in some way.

 

HVT grabs Thoth back up and whips him to the far ropes.  Thoth rebounds, ducks a Thugg boot, and bounces off the near ropes.  When he rebounds, Thoth sees HVT bending down for a back body drop and puts on the breaks before kicking him hard in the chest.

 

(Curry) – Telegraphed move from Thugg there, and Thoth to capitalize.

 

(NTD) – Why is it that everything is a conspiracy with you?  Edwin versus Bo is a damn good match and the fans will really enjoy it.  So why must King be up to something?

 

The kick forces HVT to stand straight up and stumble backwards, so Thoth turns, bounces off the near ropes, and delivers a flying forearm to Thugg’s face, sending the big man back even farther.

 

(Curry) – Because he just is…Thoth with a forearm to Thugg’s face.  It looks like Thoth is trying to take Thugg off his feet, but he’s not having much success.  

 

As HVT teeters backwards, Thoth bounces off the near ropes again, runs at HVT, and connect with a clothesline that knocks Thugg off his feet?!?...because Fallout crawled behind HVT and tripped him as he staggered back from the clothesline.

 

(Curry) – Smart tactic there from Fallout, tripping Thugg from behind.  And King must be up to something because he’s always up to something.  It’s in his character…it’s who he is!

 

(NTD) – So you say…

 

As HVT topples like a tree in the woods, Fallout jumps back up and leaps onto HVT and starts to punch the big man.  However, his success is short-lived as HVT shoves him off with an uppercut to the throat.  HVT sits up, facing the near ropes, and checks his face for damages, but he is unaware of Thoth bouncing off the far ropes.  HVT, however, feels Thoth as the Balancer slams his knee in to the back of Thugg’s head!

 

(Curry) – Fine, whatever NTD.  I don’t have to explain myself to you.  The fans at home know what I’m talking about, and that’s all that matters.

 

HVT lurches forward from the knee, and then holds his head in slight pain.  Thoth, looking to take a solid advantage, runs to the near ropes, bounces off, and runs back towards HVT.  HVT gets to his feet while holding his head, and when Thoth gets close, HVT reaches down, lifts Thoth, turns, and slams Thoth to the mat with a Powerslam!!

 

(Curry) – Thugg with a powerslam on Thoth!

 

(NTD) – You know, The Clan just can’t seem to get it going tonight.  They can get one or two moves in, but that’s it.  Maybe 2 people is just isn’t enough to stop Thugg.

 

HVT jumps back up from his powerslam on Thoth, but he doesn’t see Fallout on the far left turnbuckle.  HVT turns to find Nuclear Weapon, and by the time he finds Fallout perched on the top turnbuckle, it’s too late.  Fallout takes to the air, wraps his legs around Thugg’s neck, and pulls the big man down with a Hurricarana!!!

 

(Curry) – HURRICARANA!!!  HUGE HURRICARANA BY FALLOUT!!!

 

(NTD) – Now we need for Fallout and Thoth to take advantage of that big move.  That’s why King allowed them to be in the ring at once, so they can work together to take out Thugg.

 

(Curry) – So you admit it!  King did have ulterior motives for booking this match!!

 

Fallout jumps to his feet and HVT follows behind him, getting to his feet as well.  Thoth is up as well, and before HVT has a chance to retaliate, Thoth and Fallout both grab the big man, push him to the left side ropes, and whip him to the right side ropes.  HVT rebounds, but when he comes upon the Clan members, they are ready to…

 

SMACK!

 

…nail the big man with a double superkick!

 

(Curry) – And now the Clan’s rolling!  Double superkick, and Thugg is down.

 

The blow does, in fact, send HVT down to the canvas and Thoth drops down to cover the champ…

 

(Curry) – Thoth with the cover for The Clan!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO…

 

(Curry) – NO!  Thugg kicks out easily…

 

(NTD) – You know, I almost want Thugg to lose this match because I’ve noticed him slipping too.  He’s been squeaking by opponents and getting lucky, and I’d really like to see his luck run out.

 

Thoth gets to his feet, and then helps HVT up as well.  Together, Fallout and Thoth whip HVT to the far left corner where he slams back first into the turnbuckle.  Fallout takes a running start towards HVT, and when he gets close, he leaps in the air, turning his body for a cross body press.  However, HVT catches the 185-pounder in his arms, and then drops him down ribs first onto his knee again.

 

(Curry) – Thugg with another rib breaker on Fallout, who’s just giving up way too much weight to Thugg.

 

(NTD) – That he is, but that didn’t stop him from nearly defeating Thugg for the title last month.

 

Fallout holds his ribs on the ground, but before HVT can even take a breath, Thoth is there to deliver a spinning heel kick to the champion, sending him back into the far left corner.  Thoth rushes over to HVT, spreads Thugg’s arms over the ropes, and…

 

SMACK!

 

“Oooo!”

 

SMACK!

 

“Oooo!”

 

(Curry) – Thoth with those hard knife-edge chops to Thugg!

 

Thoth, unadvisedly, attempts to whip Thugg after several hard chops, but Thugg is just plain too big, so he reverses Thoth’s attempt.  Thoth crashes into the near right corner back first, and HVT crashes into him with a huge splash.

 

(Curry) – And, again, Thugg has thwarted the Clan’s momentum.  Every time it looks like Thoth and Fallout are getting something going, Thugg uses his power and strength to halt their progress.

 

(NTD) – Yeah, but sooner or later they will wear Thugg down, and then they can go in for the kill.

 

HVT backs out of the corner and Thoth stumbles forward a few steps before falling onto his face.  HVT, however, forgets about Fallout, who has gotten up and approached HVT from behind.  He gets in close, turns his back to HVT’s back, and then drops the SWF champion with a neckbreaker!!

 

(Curry) – But Fallout is there to pick up the pieces!!  Nice neckbreaker from the Nuclear Weapon, putting the Clan back in control.

 

Fallout immediately runs over to the far left corner and scales the turnbuckle as Thoth rolls out of the ring to avoid getting hit.  Fallout faces the crowd, throws his hands up, and leaps backwards off the top turnbuckle.  In the air, he completes a back layout, and lands stomach first on HVT with a moonsault!

 

(Curry) – Fallout with a moonsault on Thugg!  Big move for the Clan, and the champ looks hurt!

 

(NTD) – Despite Fallout’s weight disadvantage, two people just seems like too much for Thugg to handles today…just as I expected.

 

Fallout bounces off of HVT and holds his stomach for a moment before sliding back onto the angry black man and hooking his huge leg.

 

(Curry) – And Fallout with the cover!!

 

ONE!

 

The fans count along with the referee for added emphasis.

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEE…

 

(Curry) – NO!  Thugg with the kick out, but that was close!  One more big move like that, and The Clan could walk away with a win over the SWF Champion!

 

Thoth slides back into the ring following the kick out as Fallout gets up a bit frustrated.  Fallout goes to the referee to demand a three count, but he only gets two as Thoth moves to lift Thugg to his feet.

 

(NTD) – Come on Fallout, no sense arguing with the referee.  What’s done is done…concentrate on finishing Thugg off.

 

Fallout gets fed up with the referee’s excuses and give him a hard shove.  The ref slams into the corner and down he goes.

 

(Curry) – NO!  Fallout has assaulted the referee!!  The ref is down…

 

Fallout turns back to Thoth, feeling his anger has been dealt with in the right way.  Thoth says something inaudible to Fallout, who nods in approval, and then they both lock in a front face lock on HVT.

 

(Curry) – Oh!  This could be huge right here!

 

Both Thoth and Fallout take Thugg’s respective arms and put them behind their heads, and then they grab HVT’s pants and go for a suplex.  However, HVT deadens his weight, thus becoming too heavy for them to lift, even together.  Much to the Clan’s dismay, HVT uses his strength to pull both their heads down, grab each one by the pants, and then lifts both Fallout and Thoth up and over for a huge double suplex!!

 

(Curry) – HOLY COW!!  DOUBLE SUPLEX BY HVILLE THUGG!!  HE JUST SUPLEXED THOTH AND FALLOUT AT THE SAME TIME!!  WHAT POWER AND STRENGTH!!

 

(NTD) – Wow…that’s one hell of a move from Thugg!  

 

(Curry) – Desperate counter from Thugg, but it accomplished its task!  Thoth and Fallout are down, and their momentum has come to a screeching halt.

 

HVT remains on the ground, still weary from the match, while Fallout and Thoth both hold their backs in pain.  HVT takes a moment, but then struggles up to his feet before moving over to Thoth.  HVT goes to lift the Balancer up this his feet, and once Thoth is up, HVT moves to the center of the ring to put him into an inverted DDT position!!

 

(Curry) – Oh shit!  Thugg’s setting him up for the devastating Thugg Passion!!!  If he hits this, Thoth is done!

 

(NTD) – But there’s still Fallout…

 

(Curry) – I don’t think Fallout can take down Thugg by himself though.

 

HVT looks out at the crowd, who are actually cheering like crazy, and then makes a cutting motion across his neck.  However, the fans are not cheering for HVT, but, in fact, they are cheering for some commotion on the entrance ramp.

 

(Curry) – Wait a second!  What’s this?  It’s…

 

The SWF cameras pan up to the entrance ramp to reveal…

 

(Curry) – …BO!!

 

(NTD) – What the hell is HE doing down here!

 

(Curry) – He’s been interfering in all of Thugg’s matches recently, what makes you think he’ll stop now!

 

The fans cheer like crazy as Bo runs down the ramp, a steel chair in hand.  HVT, oblivious to Bo’s presence, sets Thoth up for the Thugg Passion by flipping him up to his (HVT’s) chest like in a powerbomb.  However, HVT senses something, so he drops Thoth, turns around, and Bo is there to swing that steel chair………

 

BAM!!

 

(Curry) – THUGG DUCKED!!  HE DUCKED!!  BO HIT THOTH INSTEAD!!!

 

(NTD) – I’m so sick and tired of Bo’s interference!

 

Thoth crumples to the canvas after being struck with Bo’s chair, but Bo doesn’t waist time lamenting over his mistake.  Instead, Bo turns and raises the chair to strike the correct person this time, but HVT is waiting for him…

 

BAM!

 

…to punch to the chair right into Bo’s face!

 

(Curry) – THUGG!!!  THUGG JUST PUNCHED THAT CHAIR RIGHT INTO BO’S FACE!!

 

(NTD) – Thank you!  Now get that son of a bitch outta here!

 

Bo goes down from the blow, and HVT immediately starts to stomp the Perfect One until he rolls out of the ring to the floor below.  Most of the fans are booing, although there are a few cheering, as HVT screams something at Bo.  HVT turns around, but Fallout is there to kick HVT…but Thugg catches Fallout’s foot!

 

(Curry) – Here comes Fallout…NO!  Thugg caught his foot!

 

Fallout bounces on one foot for a moment, but then he throws his free leg up in attempt to kick Thugg with that foot.  Much to Fallout’s chagrin, HVT ducks the Enzuigiri, forcing Fallout to spin around, and HVT gives him an extra little push so that Fallout does a complete 360 degree turn…

 

SMACK!

 

…right into a one-handed choke!!

 

(Curry) – HERE WE GO!  THUGG’S GOT ‘EM!!

 

(NTD) – I’m sorry, but Bo’s interference has actually helped Thugg do away with Thoth, so now all his has to worry about is Fallout, which wasn’t the point of this match.

 

HVT lifts Fallout with one hand as thousands of fans take flash photography, most booing, but a few are actually cheering.  HVT locks his arm, spins in a complete circle, and slams Fallout to the canvas with a hard spinning chokeslam!!

 

(Curry) – UNTAMED!!  UNTAMED!!  WHAT AN UNTAMED CHOKESLAM FROM THE HVILLE THUGG!!

 

Conveniently, the referee comes too around this time, and he crawls over to the action as HVT drops down to cover Fallout!

 

(Curry) – IT’S OVER!  BY GOD, IT’S OVER!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Curry) – THUGG SCORED WITH THAT HUGE UNTAMED AND THIS ONE IS OVER!

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

(Curry) – YES!!  THUGG DID IT!  HE HAS DEFEATED BOTH FALLOUT AND THOTH, DESPITE INTERFERENCE FROM BO!!  KING’S PLANS ARE FOILED!!

 

(Funyon) – Your winner…THE H…VIIIIIILLLLLLLEEEEEE THHHHUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGG!!!

 

“Who We Be” by DMX hits the speakers as HVT gets to his feet and his handed his title.  HVT puts his hands in the air as a mixed reaction from the crowd rains on him, but his celebration is short lived as Bo slides back into the ring with his chair.  HVT sees him and exits the ring on the ramp side, leaving Bo to stare back at HVT on the ramp.

 

(NTD) – If it weren’t for Bo, Fallout and Thoth would have won this match!  That damn Bo!!

 

(Curry) – I agree that something needs to be done about Bo’s constant interference, but right now, the HVille Thugg has foiled both Bo and King by winning this match!

 

HVT backs up the ramp, screaming some choice words to Bo, who returns the screams.

 

(Curry) – Thugg has escaped King’s handicap match, but what will happen in the second match booked by the new deputy commissioner.  We still have our main event to come, not to mention the three team tag team title match!  Stay tuned…

 

With that, Smarkdown fades to a commercial…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

The Smarkdown logo flashes over the screen, the BI-LO Centre in South Carolina start to clap at them on the big screen over the arena. Suddenly, life is breathed into the Greenville crowd as the first few riffs off "Power Struggle" by Sunna kick the crowd up on their feet! Meanwhile, the lights across the jam-packed arena black out. As the song finishes its intro, blinding white fireworks explode from the sides of the stage! The lights come back as the fire goes out, revealing Munich on the stage, steeping in front of him is the Light Heavyweight champion, Erek Taylor! The crowd gives them a loud response as they pause on the ramp for a few seconds, enjoying the moment as Funyon takes up the mike.

 

Funyon: The following is a Triple Threat Tag Team Match scheduled for one fall, and it is for the SWF Tag Team Titles! Introducing first, the challengers, weighing in at a total combined weight of 456 pounds! The SWF Light Heavyweight champion… EREK TAYLOR and MUNICH!!!”

 

Munich quickly walks down to ringside, his hair dripping with water. Erek just a few steps behind, holding his arms up, the LHW title fastened around his waist. He jogs ahead of Munich and dives inside the ring, springing to his feet. The LHW title shining brightly over the crowd, reflecting every way possible. Munich hops onto the ring apron and steps through the ropes. He holds his arms up, his biceps contracting to flex his muscles.

 

Curry: “We are back on Smarkdown, and it is time for our tag team title match!”

 

NTD: “It is quite clear that Da Pound 0wnz this battle!”

 

Curry: “It hasn’t even started! But you can bet the Carnival will be ready to fight, especially since having their titles stolen last Storm!”

 

The arena lights fade into blackness as a soft female voice whispers, “Midnight Carnival.” The SmarkTron flashes blazing white in time with the opening beats of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers’ “Love Rollercoaster” as the Carnival’s anthem pumps through the arena, revealing with each flash thin black lettering that reads “Step Right Up.” As the guitar part drops in, three blue laser lights trace the arena, all stemming from the same point in the middle of the entrance ramp. As the words “Rollercoaster of love” echo through the arena for the first time, the laser lights flare out into a blue haze across the entrance ramp as the Caveman and the illegal Mexican step out from behind the curtain.

 

Funyon: “Their opponents… at a total combined weight of four hundred and forty pounds… the other challengers…Caveman Chris Raynor! El Luchadore Magnifico… THE MIDNIGHT CARNIVAL!!!”

 

As the refrain arrives for the first time, the arena plunges back into darkness just as purple strobe lights tear through the house and the blue laser lights spiral wildly, illuminating the members of the Midnight Carnival in funky, staccato bursts. The SmarkTron video plays, flashing half-second clips of classic manoeuvres from the Carnival’s members. They make their way to the ring, Magnifico a few steps ahead of Raynor. Both men dive into the ring, Magnifico keeping his eye dead on Erek Taylor.

 

Curry: “Those two have been signed in a for sure to be excellent, ladder match for the light heavyweight title in this upcoming Pay Per View!”

 

NTD: “Even I’m excited for that, here’s hoping for a Mexican Pride Press off a 30 foot ladder through a flaming glass table!”

 

Curry: “If you want that, watch Petro the Clown vs. G0R0!”

 

NTD: “I already did! Those crazy bastards!”

 

The arena turns pitch black and DMX can be heard through the speakers…

 

“Just cause I love my niggas!”

 

The SmarkTron flashes the crimson letter “D”.

 

“I shed blood for my niggas!”

 

An image of JD executing JD’s revenge on Fallout appears on the SmarkTron, followed by a black screen that then flashes the crimson letter “P”

 

“Let a niggas holla, ‘Where my niggas?’”

 

An image of Sacred hitting the Cruel Fate on Mercury replaces the letters, but then the black screen returns followed by the flashing crimson letter “G”

 

“All I wanna hear is ‘right here my niggas!’”

 

An image of the HVille Thugg hitting the Untamed on Mark Stevens appears on the SmarkTron, and then the black screen returns. The screen then flashes the letters “DPG” several times as an electronic wail starts off and DMX continues…

 

“You will not take this from me baby!”

 

“You will NOT TAKE THIS FROM ME BABBBBBYYYYYYYY!!”

 

“You know…”

 

BOOM!!

 

Fire erupts from the stage, shadowing Jay Dawg and Sacred behind it’s high flames, both of their titles strapped on their waists, as the letters on the SmarkTron give way to the words, “Da Pound”.

 

“My Niggas!”

“Some niggas that you don’t wanna try!”

“My Niggas!”

“Some niggas that’s really do or die!”

“My Niggas!”

“Will have you cowards ready to cry!”

“My Niggas!”

“Will rob!”

“My Niggas!”

“Will kill!”

“My Niggas!”

 

As DMX’s “My Niggas” starts to blare, much to the crowd’s displeasure, or hatred, either one. Sacred and Jay Dawg walk out side by side illuminated by the huge wall of flame burning brightly behind them.

 

Curry: “It is time for our opening battle!”

 

As Jay Dawg and Sacred begin to walk to the ring, Funyon stands in the centre of the ring, doing his job.

 

Funyon: “And their opponents… at a combined weight of four hundred and eighty one pounds… They are the tag team champions… the team of the Intercontinental Television Champion, Sacred! And the Canadian Champion, Jay Dawg! They are… DA POUND!”

 

Sacred and JD place their arms in front of them, flexing their arms as they look ahead. They slowly proceed to the ring, not taking their eyes off of any of the four already vacating it. Suddenly, ELM turns to Erek Taylor, grabbing him by his shoulder, and spinning him around. They get into each other’s face, allowing Sacred and JD to give each other a nod, and diving into the ring. Sacred goes for Raynor, JD after Munich. The tag champs are both clobbered though, not realising that it was both the Carnival and X Force 9 members who are in a brief truce. Raynor and Mag pull Sacred up, as Munich and Taylor do the same to JD, stereo Irish whips and a pair of double clotheslines knock JD and Sacred to the outside!

 

Curry: “Da Pound tried a sneak attack and it failed miserably!”

 

NTD: “Stupid fucking Carnies and JL XF9’ers!”

 

Curry: “They are WF’ers now NTD! But you bring a good point. They have teamed many times in the JL, so they are not an inexperienced tandem!”

 

The four men inside the ring all celebrate, giving each other high five’s. The rage in Sacred and JD begins to boil. They point to their titles that they have around their waists, but gape down in shock, upon realising that only their singles titles are there. Inside the ring, Chris Raynor and Munich hold the tag titles high above their heads. They pass them around the ring; every man inside holds them with celebration. As ELM holds it, he shouts “Viva los Mexico!” and the crowd applauds like he was a son of their own. Sacred and JD stomp around on the outside as they are starting to throw minor temper tantrums.

 

Curry: “I think this symbols that no matter what, Da Pound is not walking out of here with double gold tonight!”

 

NTD: “Da Pound will prevail Curry! Egos will boil and explode!”

 

The tag champs frown on the outside, unhooking their personal titles as the ref gets a hold of the tag gold. JD and Sacred hop up onto the ring apron, deciding who should start the match. ELM decides to start for the Carnies, while Munich is the chosen one for his team. After careful observation, the bad guys agree that the eVil Aussie should start. The crowd cheers as Magnifico waves, like he we’re El Presidente of Mexico, while Munich is surprisingly sober, and acknowledge the fans. Sacred grins, looking a little happier for a change, but still with strong thoughts of violence in mind.

 

“Ding, Ding, Ding!”

 

As the bell rings to start the match, Sacred charges headlong across the ring and knocks Magnifico out of the ring while his back his turned. Munich, being the upstanding drunkard that he is, takes offense to this dastardly act, and runs over and clotheslines the ICTV champion. Sacred gets back to his feet but receives some right hand punches for his trouble. Munich forces Sacred back into the turnbuckles and lets fly with some devastating… “Whoo!” Knife Edge Chops, which the fans cheer for like mad. “Whoo!” Munich slaps the back of his hand across Sacred’s chest once again, but Sacred finally turns the tables on him, sending a quick kick into his gut. Munich stumbles back as Sacred runs forward and leaps into the air, hitting Munich in the face with a Harlem Sidekick. Sacred gets the very early pin as Magnifico regains his senses and jumps onto the apron…

 

O – N – E – But Magnifico stops the pin, using the ropes to sling shot into the ring and hit Sacred with a leg drop across the back of his head! Sacred gets back to his feet and growls at the former world champion. It’s a matter of national pride, Sacred not wanting a filthy Mexican get the best of him. Sacred fool heartily runs at Magnifico, but misses with a flying forearm. Magnifico turns around and locks on to Sacred, throwing the Australians arm over his shoulder. Magnifico hits a very nice Snap Suplex and then quickly rolls onto Sacred, starting to pound him with right hands to the face! Sacred rolls away and out of the ring, cursing at ELM as he celebrates, but maybe too prematurely, as Munich runs across and tackles him to the canvas, hitting a barrage of punches to the forehead!

 

Curry: “This match reminds me of some other slogan! Don’t trust anyone!”

 

NTD: “What about your own tag partner?”

 

Curry: “Ummm… You can’t be too careful!”

 

The crowd cheers as Munich and Magnifico get to their feet, Munich looking for another right hand but Magnifico blocks in and swiftly sweeps his leg under Munich’s, tripping him to the mat. Sacred seizes his opportunity with Magnifico’s back turned, grabbing him in a sleeper hold. The fans reaction is instantaneous, calling for ELM to fight out, and he does, grabbing Sacred around the head and snapping him over his shoulder. Munich is back on his feet and sees Sacred get back onto his knees. He grins as he runs over to the ropes and bounces back towards Sacred, hitting him with a dropkick to the face! Munich gets onto his feet but Magnifico is on him straight away, kicking him in the midsection several times. The Mexican flings Munich into the ropes, and then turns around, running towards the opposite ropes. As Munich comes back, Magnifico leaps onto the second rope and then springs off, flying back towards Munich with a moonsault… but the drunkard catches him, and slams him back to the canvas with a power slam!

 

Curry: “Great reversal by the Munchmeister! An amazing display of power!”

 

Munich makes the cover, hooking the Mexican by the leg…

 

O – N – E

 

 

 

T – W – But Sacred makes the save, diving across and knocking Munich off ELM with a forearm to the back of the head. Sacred and Munich meet each other, but the ICTV champion is first to strike, hitting Munich in the jaw with some patented forearm blows. Sacred whips the drunkard across the ring and into the turnbuckle, and then readies himself, watching Munich as he stumbles back. Sacred runs across the ring and leaps forward, aiming directly for Munich’s midsection with a Kamikaze… but Munich steps out of the way and Sacred’s head bounces off the second turnbuckle pad!

 

Curry: “OW! Sacred meets the turnbuckle!”

 

NTD: “That’s gotta scramble a few braincells!”

 

Curry: “Good! Sacred might become sane then!”

 

Munich acts quickly, turning around and running towards Sacred, nailing him in the spine with his knee! Munich starts to tire a little, and so walks across and slaps his partner Erek Taylor on the hand. Erek receives a rousing reception as he enters the ring, the light heavyweight champion going straight to work, bringing Sacred out of the turnbuckle and whipping him into the ropes. Sacred comes running back, and Erek jumps high into the air, getting great elevation on a missile dropkick that knocks Sacred down. Magnifico notices that the man that took his Light Heavyweight title is in the ring, and gets a menacing look, strange for his usually pleasant demeanor. Mag picks Erek up with his back turned, lifting him up and turning him in mid air, slamming him down with a Blue Thunder powerbomb!

 

Curry: “Sir Taylor is the freshest man, but he has just been powerbombed by his opponent come Pay Per View.”

 

The fans pop madly for the move as Magnifico smiles and waves to the fans again, before tagging in his partner Chris Raynor, prepped and ready for action. Sacred gets onto his feet, feeling woozy after so many blows to the head. Raynor adds to this, hitting Sacred with several right hands, before draping Sacred’s arm over his shoulder and lifting him up vertically with a Suplex… but Sacred slips out and behind Raynor, and grabs him under his arms, in a Tiger Suplex position. Chris doubles over and flips Sacred over his back, locking in a facelock and DDTs him to the canvas… pinning shortly after!

 

 

O – N – E

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

T – W – O – But Erek cuts the pinning attempt short with a shot to Raynor’s cranium. Taylor lifts Raynor to his feet and whips him into the ropes, but it gets reversed. Taylor bounces back off the ropes and leaps across the ring and onto to Raynor’s chest, starting to choke him mercilessly before Raynor finally falls to the mat under Taylor’s weight! Erek keeps choking the life out of Raynor with one hand, as the other delivers some hard hitting punches. He finally gets off Raynor after the ref interjects, but this doesn’t stop the fans from popping madly, and Erek raising his arm, acknowledging their support.

 

Curry: “The fans love this young rookie. Not even choking a lovable Carnie like Raynor seems to get him booed!”

 

Erek lifts Raynor to his feet, as Sacred dives across the ring and tags in Jay Dawg! The Aussie rolls away feeling the equivalence of massive head trauma, as Erek whips Raynor into the ropes and this time it isn’t reversed. As Raynor comes back, Taylor ducks his head and tosses Chris over his shoulder, sending him high into the air, but Raynor lands on his feet! Chris stumbles forward a few steps before walking straight into a T-Bone Suplex from Dawg!

 

Curry: “And Raynor just walked into one of Jay Dawg’s highly dangerous suplexes!”

 

Dawg makes the quick cover…

 

 

O – N – E

 

 

 

 

 

 

T – W – O

 

 

 

 

 

 

T – But Taylor stops the count with a diving elbow to Dawg’s head!

 

NTD: “Bah! Stupid rookie!”

 

Dawg gets to his feet as Taylor meets him, swinging wildly at his head with a right hand, but Dawg ducks it and whips Taylor into Da Pound’s camp. Dawg nods to his Australian friend and then runs over and knocks Magnifico off the apron! The referee gets right in Dawg’s face and asks him what the hell he’s doing, as Sacred grabs Taylor around the neck and starts to choke him! Munich steps off the apron and the crowd cheers as he storms over to Sacred and yanks him off the apron, throwing him into the crowd barrier! The drunkard begins to punch the life out of Sacred, but in the ring, Dawg turns around and walks over to Taylor. Erek charges at Dawg and tries for a clothesline, but Jay duck it. Raynor gets onto his feet and picks Taylor up, twirling him around in the air and slamming him down with a Tilt-a-whirl slam!

 

Curry: “Ouch! Bone-crushing power by sir Raynor!”

 

Taylor rolls away as Raynor gets back to his feet. Dawg sends a kick to Raynor’s ribs, but Chris catches it! Raynor steps over Dawg’s leg and then catches him in the face with a spinning heel kick! Dawg hits the canvas as Raynor jumps back onto his feet… Dawg begins to work his way back onto his feet, getting up into a doubled over position, and Raynor senses his chance. He bounces off the ropes behind him and heads towards Dawg, leaping into the air and looking for a scissors kick to the back of Dawg’s head! But the Canadian champion stands back up before Raynor comes down and avoids contact! Raynor lands on his feet, just as Dawg leaps into the air, spins in a 360, and clobbers Raynor down with a Spinning Thai Roundhouse kick!

 

NTD: “WHOO!! That’s what I’m talking about!”

 

Dawg quickly makes the cover, as the fans cry in unison “No!” Sensing it may be over after Dawg’s diabolical move…

 

 

O – N – E – Magnifico makes his way into the ring…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

T – W – O

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

T - H – R – Magnifico slides over and knocks Dawg off Raynor! The fans cheer as Magnifico heads back to his corner with a huge smile on his face while JD plans revenge. Taylor rolls back to his corner and quickly makes the tag to a fresh Munich, who immediately goes to work on Dawg, scoring with punch after punch, a mix of uppercuts, jabs and straight right hands. Munich whips Dawg into the ropes, but as Jay bounces off the cables, Sacred slaps him on the back! Dawg comes back to Munich and ducks a clothesline, turning around and thumping his forearm into the back of Munich’s head. Munich stumbles forward and walks right into Sacred, who ducks down and hooks his arm under Munich’s, lifting the former X-Force Niner into the air and slamming him down with the Spanish Inquisition!

 

Curry: “Da Pound is now showing signs to dominate!”

 

Dawg grins and nods his head approvingly to his DA Pound cohort, the ref however tells him to get lost. Dawg glares at the ref but then leaves the ring as Raynor makes the tag to the Luchadore! Sacred stands in horror as the Mexican explodes out of the blocks, nailing him with punch after punch. Magnifico grabs Sacred and whips him into the ropes. Sacred comes back and Magnifico leaps into the air and knocks him down with a missile dropkick! Magnifico has no time to rest though, as the drunkard Munich gets to his feet, slamming his fist into Magnifico’s chest and knocking him down. ELM gets right back up only to be knocked down like a ninepin. Munich gets the crowd’s support as both Mag and Sacred get to their feet. Munich punches one, and then punches the other! The crowd roar as Munich takes it to the two stable members, but Sacred suddenly ceases the infernal cheering, kicking Munich in the gut. Munich stumbles away but Magnifico catches him, twists his arm around and hits him with a Chicken Wing Jawbreaker!

 

Curry: “A dangerous move by Munich, trying to take out two men at once!”

 

NTD: “Trying and failing miserably. The moral of this story, never try.”

 

Curry: “You got that off the Simpsons!”

 

NTD: “Did not! The guy writing this match did!”

 

Sacred shoves ELM out of the way, and makes a lateral press on Munich.

 

O – N – E – ELM pulls him off and makes the cover himself!

 

O – N – E

 

 

 

T – W – O

 

 

 

T – H – R – The Drunken Chicago native kicks out! Sacred rolls over and makes the tag to JD, who promptly attacks Magnifico from behind. Two forearm blasts knock ELM forward, but JD yanks him back and applies a waistlock. He powers the luchadore up, and drives him into the mat with a German suplex! Staying with the bridge.

 

O – N – E

 

 

 

T – W – O

 

Munich starts to roll over, suddenly noticing the pin.

 

 

 

T – H – R – E – Munich dives out, kicking Jay Dawg’s leg out! Exhales of relief can be heard all around the arena.

 

Curry: “Whoa! That German suplex almost kept the titles for Da Pound!”

 

JD lets ELM lie, and turns with anger toward Munich. He pops the drunkard with some solid right hands, then pulls him into a front waistlock. ELM slowly rolls to his corner, reaching out the desperate Raynor. JD lifts Munich up, pivots, and slams the German City down with a belly-to-belly suplex. JD points to Sacred, and wipes his arms away, signaling the finish of the battle, Sacred gives him thumbs up. JD climbs to the top turnbuckle, and Mag tags in Raynor! The Caveman explodes out of the corner, and charges straight for JD. He pushes the Canadian Champion’s legs out, crotching him on the top turnbuckle! Raynor climbs up there with him, looking out to the crowd who all roar in approval. Raynor applies the vertical suplex set up, tightens his grip, and lifts JD high in the air, and slowly starts to fall back with a massive superplex. Upon impact, the ring nearly caves in, as the bodies of both men bounce heavily off the mat, their broken corpses echo throughout the arena.

 

Curry: “What a superplex! That had some sheer force!”

 

JD coughs out in pain, trying to recover but his body is pretty much glued to the mat. Raynor slowly rolls toward JD and drapes his arm over for the cover.

 

O – N – E

 

 

 

T – W – O

 

 

Sacred steps through the ropes, leaping at Raynor.

 

 

 

T – H – R – E – and Sacred barely drives his elbow over top of Raynor in time! The crowd goes insane as the Carnival inches closer and closer to regaining what is rightfully theirs.  

 

Curry: “Chris Raynor almost won the tag titles… and I’ve just realized it would have been for the fourth time! If that happens, Raynor will be the first ever four-time champion of any kind!”

 

NTD: “Ha ha! He’s lost the tag titles three times!”

 

Sacred picks Raynor up, and feeds his facial muscles some forearms. Raynor staggers back from each blow as the ref desperately tries to get him to stop. Sacred simply turns to Mr. Stripes, glaring into his eyes, and the ref takes a few steps back. Sacred turns to Raynor and delivers a boot to the gut, doubling him over, and pulls him into a front facelock. ELM finally emerges into the ring, and pulls Sacred away from Raynor. Sacred swings back with a chop, but Mag swiftly sidesteps it, hooking Sacred’s arm, underhooking the other as well into a backslide set up. JD recovers enough, kicking ELM in the ribs.

 

Curry: “The ref is starting to lose control of this battle!”

 

NTD: “INDEED!!! Ha Ha Ha! Da Pound is kicking ass, or in this case, ribs! Ha! I kill me!”

 

Curry: “I want to kill you too!”

 

JD pulls ELM into a standing headscissors, as Sacred pulls Raynor into a facelock. Erek Taylor, who was standing on the apron, rushes inside, hitting both JD and Sacred with clotheslines respectively. The audience roars for the young LHW champ, as he prevents any finishers from Da Pound. He pushes Sacred away, and backs up slightly, bumping back first into El Luchadore Magnifico. Both men turn around swinging, hitting each other at the same time with right hands!

 

Curry: “Oh no! Erek Taylor just saved the Carnival from stereo surefire endings! But now they have struck each other! Let’s hope they forgive each other!”

 

Six men in the ring, four men seem to sit in the corners, occupying that smaller area, as only ELM and Erek Taylor are standing in the center of the ring, stepping toward each other. A foot separating them, sweat slowly falling off their brows. Although the crowd was deafening mere moments ago, they have just quieted down from the aura of the two great light heavyweights. The tension can be cut with a knife, and Erek cuts it by hammering ELM with a right hand! Magnifico staggers backward, and is tackled with a spear by Erek. The spear knocks ELM to the outside, but ELM is holding onto Taylor, and they both collapse onto the mat outside!

 

Curry: “This battle between these light heavyweights is beginning to escalate! But they are forgetting the battle inside the ring! The battle for the tag titles!”

 

Every man inside the ring uses the top turnbuckles to pull themselves to their feet. Raynor and Munich look across the ring, facing each other, as JD and Sacred do the same. Outside, Magnifico grabs Taylor by the wrist and Irish whips him into the steps! Taylor leaps over the steps, turns around to see ELM stepping off the top step, soaring through the air while wrapping his legs around the head, spinning a full 180 degrees and hurricanranas Erek Taylor to the mat!

 

Curry: “Magnifico getting the advantage out here! But it looks like Raynor and Munich are going to have to form a brief alliance!”

 

NTD: “But they will stab each other in the back at the first moment! I love it!”

 

ELM grabs Taylor by the back of the neck, and throws him onto the Spanish announce table. He starts to look up, scanning the crowd, absorbing their cheers. He steps onto the guardrail, balancing as he stands behind NTD, then walks along the rail so he stands above the Spanish announce table. He turns his back to Taylor, who lies still on the table, and raises his arm to the crowd.

 

Curry: “Don’t do it ELM! It’s not worth it!”

 

NTD: “Kill him you fucking Mexican slut!”

 

Curry: “Shut up, NTD!”

 

The crowd goes nuts as ELM shows tremendous leg strength, diving in the air, flipping backward, and driving his chest through the light heavyweight champions with a moonsault, their weight collapsing the table!

 

Curry: “Holy shit! El Luchadore Magnifico just drove Erek Taylor through the table with a moonsault!”

 

Raynor and Munich look from inside the ring. Their jaws dropped. They turn toward Da Pound, who was approaching, and shrug their shoulders before clobbering the stereo champeens with right hands. Raynor grabs JD and Irish whips him into the turnbuckles. Munich grabs Sacred, and Irish whips him into Jay Dawg. Both men stand in the corner, Sacred standing in front of JD. Munich grabs Raynor and Irish whips him into the two men; Raynor thrusts his shoulder forward and Gore GORE GORES both men in the corner. Munich rushes forward, and leaps in the air, crushing Raynor from behind, and both Jay Dawg and Sacred!

 

NTD: “Ha! I told you!”

 

Curry: “Munich saw an opportunity and took it!”

 

Raynor wobbles out of the corner, as Sacred sits down, with JD now kneeling on his shoulders. Munich kicks Raynor in the gut, and rapidly pulls him into a standing headscissors. Munich powers Raynor up, and cradles the leg with the opportunity for the C-4 Crunch. All of a sudden, JD and Sacred explode out of the corner with double superkicks, leveling Munich before he can flatten Raynor! Raynor falls onto his neck as Sacred and JD double clothesline Munich over the top rope!

 

Curry: “Munich has been creamed! It’s Raynor vs. Da Pound now!”

 

NTD: “I love it!”

 

Sacred and JD start to stalk Raynor, taunting him to arise. Raynor does so shortly, but gets a kick to the ribs. Sacred and JD pull the tag god in a double vertical suplex set up, and power Raynor high in the air.

 

Curry: “Oh no! This double brainbuster won them the titles!”

 

NTD: “And will help them to retain it! WHOO!!”

 

Raynor squirms out of the move, much to the delight of the crowd. Raynor lifts his leg up high, and hits a big boot to the face of Sacred, knocking him to the ropes. He turns to JD, but…

 

*DING*  

 

-gets a kick square in the nuts! Raynor’s eyes bulge out and he drops to his knees, but the highly angered JD pulls him into a standing headscissors. JD powers Raynor up onto his shoulders, as Sacred ricochets off the ropes, leaps in the air, grabs the neck of Raynor, and they slam him down to the mat with the powerbomb/neckbreaker combo! The crowd starts to roar out their insults, insanely booing the tandem maneuver of Da Pound. JD hooks the legs and flips onto Raynor, holding tightly.

 

 

O – N – E

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

T – W – O

 

 

 

 

 

 

T – H – R – E – E!!!

 

DMX’s ‘My Niggas’ kicks up as the bell rings to signal the end of the match. Sacred holds his arms up as the ref raises Jay Dawg’s. The titles are passed to them and with fury, Da Pound holds the titles high in the air.

 

Funyon: “The winners of this match and STILL SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…. DA POUND!!!”

 

Sacred gives a final kick to Raynor, before they step out of the ring and walk up the ramp.

 

Curry: “Da Pound got lucky there, a low blow by JD that wasn’t called!”

 

NTD: “Da Pound are my boys, yo!”

 

Curry: “They will get theirs! You can bet the Carnival or Munich and Taylor will take this lying down!”

 

NTD: “Bah!”

 

JD and Sacred hold all four of their titles on the ramp, smiling at the now outraged crowd.

 

Curry: “A travesty for now! Stay tuned, coming up is Perfect Bo vs. Edwin MacPhisto!”

[Guest BA_Baracus]

And we’re back at the BI-LO Center, where it is main event time!  The crowd is electric, about to witness the final match of a night full of surprises—the replacement of Deputy Commish Johnny Rotten with the Suicide King, the world champion HVille Thugg tangling with the Clan in a handicap match, and now, the biggest shock of the night thus far:

 

“A #1 contender’s match between Edwin MacPhisto and Perfect Bo!  Can you believe that, NTD?  Who on earth would have imagined that the powers-that-be would make that match here tonight?”

 

“Certainly not me,” mumbles the pantsless one.  “It’s an awful decision!  I hate them both!  Why not just throw them in a meat locker together and give the shot to, oh, hell, I dunno, Scott Reid or something!  Now there’s a kid with class!”

 

“He’s been in the JL for a week!”

 

“Yeah, and he’s still a helluva lot cooler than Edwin or Bo!”

 

And out of nowhere, the Smarktron illuminates with the word “BO” as “Keep it Thoro” hits the speakers!  Like a raging bull Bo comes storming out of the back, glancing to the crowd haphazardly at best as he stalks down to the ring, his dark eyes rolling back into his head, his arms pumping, and his heart no doubt a-race!  “Here comes Bo,” shouts Curry over the explosive crowd, “and this match is absolutely HUGE for him!  Not only can he get a shot at the SWF Title, a shot he hasn’t had in nearly a year, he can get a shot at Thugg, the man on whom he wants revenge?”

 

“The follow contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the #1 contendership to the SWF World Heavyweight Title!  Making his way to the ring, from the Bronx, weighing in at 285 pounds, the Perfect One, the Original Thug…Perfect BOOOOOOOOO!”

 

As Bo climbs into the ring and continues to pump and swing his arms, NTD poses a question.  “What exactly does Bo want revenge for anyway?  He sure as hell hasn’t told us, and I don’t have any idea!”

 

“Well, NTD, it seems like Thugg must have slighted him in some way, but it had to be pretty damn serious!  You don’t go after a man outside the boundaries of the Federation unless it’s pretty damn personal, and Bo has been on Thugg’s tail since Defiance!”

 

“But what is it?” whines NTD.  “I wanna know nooooow!”

 

“You’ll just have to wait, N-”

 

And the roar of the crowd cuts Curry off as the arena drops into darkness!  The Smarktron fills up with silhouettes fading in and out, and the low hum of “Battleflag” pours through the arena as a British voice floats in through the rafters!

 

“Ladies and gents, let’s cut to the chase—I’ve talked enough tonight, and this is more important than any of my babble!  It’s a shot at the Thugg, at the one belt that has escaped the Mac Daddy, and Bo, I know you’ve got dibs, but for now, you’re going to have to learn to share!”

 

The vocals of “Battleflag” drop along with a big explosion of pyro and the cheers of the crowd, and Edwin MacPhisto, leader of the Midnight Carnival and the man with a grudge a mile wide against Stubby P. McWeed, charges out from under the ramp, leaping and pumping his fists wildly as he makes his way down the ramp, sunglasses glinting and red coat flaring!   “And his opponent,” booms Funyon, “from Amsterdam, England, weighing in at 239 pounds, the leader of the Midnight Carnival, the Mac Daddy…Edwin MacPhistOOOOO!”

 

“The Crown Prince of Flash and Panache is off the hook tonight,” cries Curry as Edwin dives into the ring, wildly flipping his shades to the crowd and tossing his coat aside, “and with good reason!  Edwin, like Bo, hasn’t had a world title shot in nearly over a year!  He got his first—and only—two shots when Stubby P. McWeed was champion back in June—and how ironic it is that Stubby is currently the man Edwin’s got the most beef with!  The Circle of Life, NTD!”

 

“So which one’s Mufasa?”

 

“I dunno…Bo’s black, and so was he, so…”

 

“He was a lion!”

 

“He was James Earl Jones, NTD.”

 

“Oh yeah.”

 

Edwin finishes getting prepped in the ring, and he locks eyes with Bo.  The two men walk towards each other, standing at equal height, staring each other in the eyes.  Edwin reaches out his hand…

 

…and Bo takes it in a hearty shake!  “Sportsmanship!  Who’da thunk it?  The odds are so high, but these two still know that they’re each other’s greatest ally in the quest against Da Pound and Thugg!  Bo and Edwin may not always see eye-to-eye, and Bo himself said earlier tonight that he’d go through anything in his path on the way to Thugg, but for now, I think we’re about to see a respectable match!”

 

“Eh,” mutters NTD.  “Wake me up when it’s over.”  The two men nod to each other, and the ref darts away and calls for the bell!

 

DING DING DING!

 

Immediately the two men charge forward!  Edwin goes for a lock-up, but Bo drops his shoulder and drives it deep into Edwin’s gut!  He rises to his feet and pushes Edwin back with surprising speed, smashing the Mac Daddy into the ropes!  Using that momentum, Bo bounces Edwin off the ropes into a whip and sends him rocketing across the ring!  “Great power from Bo, sending Edwin soaring…and here’s the rebound!”  Edwin bounces back…and Bo beheads him with a clothesline into a 360 bump!  Edwin takes a wicked back bump, but Bo grabs him by the hair and pulls him up off the mat almost instantly, quickly jerking him up and into a military press, pumping him high over his head, the crowd popping for each lift!  “Edwin’s going for the biiiiiig ride!” shouts Curry.

 

“So, wait!” cries NTD.   “Does that mean that Mufasa is Darth Vader?”

 

“…you are such a tool.”

 

As the Lion Kings debate outside the ring, Bo starts to flip Edwin for the press slam, but the Mac Daddy comes to his senses and rolls out, landing on his feet to a big pop!  Bo turns, looking to recapture him, but Edwin lashes out with a leap and floors him with the springing sidekick!  The Mac Daddy dives in for the roll-up, but Bo hooks his arm on the dive and rolls over, powering him into the mat with a short slam out of an arm drag!  Moving with incredible intensity, Bo powers up off the mat, his hand wrapped around Edwin’s throat.  With a lift, Bo throws Edwin to the center of the ring, and Edwin’s knees crumple below him!  As Edwin crumbles, Bo lumbers forward and throws a running knee, but Edwin drops into a side roll and dodges, getting his back up against the ropes!  “Edwin pulls another dodge, and against the far more powerful Bo, speed might be his only outlet!”  The Mac Daddy starts to pull himself up as NTD replies.

 

“And Bo’s only method of attack: pure power!  Mwa ha ha…oh, wait.  Maybe they’ll just both die or something.   I forgot.  I  hate them.  Going back to sleep now.”  NTD drifts off into dreamland, and in the ring, Bo skids to a stop and turns to see Edwin hanging in the ropes, pulling himself up.  The veteran from the Bronx charges forward with his shoulder dropped, but Edwin once again dodges out of the way, dropping left and scooting forward, leaving Bo to tangle himself in the ropes from his mid-section up!  As he tries to work himself up, Edwin scrambles to his feet and grins wildly into the crowd, doing some elaborate pantomime involving a bit of hand jive and some flying birds before hopping forward and hooking Bo with a rear waistlock!  With a sharp pull, Edwin frees Bo from the ropes, only to follow the act of charity up with a surging German suplex!  Bo hits the mat hard and Edwin holds on to the waistlock, pulling up and bridging back again…but this time Bo throws both his elbows backwards to catch Edwin on his temples!  The double blow disorients Edwin and he releases his grasp, stumbling forward as the Perfect One turns.  Bo quickly flows Edwin into a front facelock and falls backwards, drilling the Mac Daddy with a DDT.  The crowd hoots and hollers, cheering for either man on his path to the Thugg, and Bo pulls Edwin up, maintaining the facelock…and dropping back again, for a second DDT!  As he rights himself to a big cheer and preps for one more, Curry assesses the situation.

 

“This match has a wickedly fast pace so far—both men are giving all they’ve got as fast and hard as they can!  With the rolling DDTs locked on, Bo looks to have the early advantage, but both men are so pumped up that it remains anybody’s game!”  Curry finishes his analysis just as Bo finishes the third and final DDT, bouncing Edwin’s head off the mat as he rolls into the first cover of the night!

 

ONE!

 

TWO—and Edwin kicks out, not too surprisingly.  He pushes up off the mat quickly and gets to a foot and a knee, but Bo is up faster, grabbing him in a hair pull and firing a jab forward into the bridge of the Mac Daddy’s nose.  “There’s no technical assault here,” says Curry, “just Bo looking to demolish Edwin on his way to the belt!  NTD, you got anything?”

 

NTD snores.

 

“Well, seeing as my partner has neglected his duties despite the fact that he just might be being replaced pretty darn soon, I’ll just keep talking!  Bo wants a shot at Thugg more than anything, and Edwin’s just an obstacle at this—ohhh!  Another sharp jab!”  This second jab blows Edwin back, but before he falls, Bo catches his hair again and wrenches him back!  The crowd oohs for Bo’s unusual display of quick reflexes, and the Perfect One uses his power to wrench the lanky Edwin back to his feet and fire off another whip!  Edwin bounces back, but as Bo charges forward for a capture, Edwin leaps into the air and sails forward, using his momentum to execute a bullet-fast running dropkick!  The blow takes Bo in the chest and knocks him backwards, but not over.  Edwin gets to his feet, but Bo closes quickly, reaching for his throat—no, the Mac Daddy leaps into the air again and pumps his legs, landing an explosive second dropkick from point blank range!  The crowd roars wildly as Bo topples back a good five feet, rolling over and landing in a sitting position!  As he wobbles dizzily and Edwin makes bird chirping sounds, the crowd laughs and hollers!

 

“Great double dropkick counter by Edwin, who’s looking to stake a claim in the outcome of this match.  Bo’s dominated to this point,” comments Curry, watching intently.  Bo starts to climb back to his feet, but as he rises, Edwin dashes forward and meets him with a running palm strike!  The blow knocks Bo back against the ropes, and Edwin rears back and fires another blistering shotei straight into Bo’s chest!  A few “woo” chants course among the fans, and Edwin rears back a third time, gyrating his hips…and plowing forward into air as Bo ducks and stumbles behind the Mac Daddy!  The Perfect One locks a tight full nelson onto the off-balance MacPhisto, and Curry calls it!  “Edwin got cocky, one of his biggest vices, to play to the crowd a little too much, and Bo’s making him pay!”  Bo hoists Edwin up, dropping his tailbone down with a full-nelson slam, but the agile Edwin desperately throws his feet up onto the middle rope, catching it, stalling the slam…and causing the tandem’s center of gravity to shift so that Bo slides to the mat harmlessly, his arms still around Edwin’s neck!  Edwin frees his feet from the ropes, kicks off them, and acrobatically flips back to break free of the downed Bo’s hold…and transitions right into an elbow drop over Bo’s upper chest!  The Perfect One shudders, and Edwin presses him for a cover.  The ref drops down, but stops, as Bo’s feet are now hanging off the apron!  Snapping his fingers in an “aw, shucks” moment, Edwin drags Bo out to the center of the ring, drops for the press…and Bo powers him off before the count of 1!

 

“It’s going to take more than that to keep big bad Bo down!” yawns NTD.  “He’s one of the toughest men in the fed, even if he has pussied out lately.”

 

“When the hell did you wake up?”

 

“Eh, minute ago.  Going back to bed now.  Later.”  As Curry is left shaking his head, both men in the ring get back to their feet.  Bo charges forward, but Edwin breaks right and loops out, putting distance between the men and staying on the move.  Bo turns and swings a lunging right hook, but Edwin is pushing his speed to the limit, continuing to drive in a loop, taking Bo’s stall on the assault as a chance to get behind him…and drive an elbow smash into Bo’s nose as he turns!  The Mac Daddy laces a headlock on Bo as he stumbles, takes two steps forward, leaps, and spins, throwing his legs out to drive Bo down face first over his knees with a bulldog/facebuster combo!

 

“Midnight Special from Edwin, who’s finally getting his speed in gear—here’s the cover!  New #1 contender!”  The ref drops to the mat, and now getting into it hardcore, the crowd counts along…

 

“ONE!

 

TWO!

 

OHHHH!”  Bo kicks out forcibly after two!  With aggression, he shoves Edwin off, much to the Mac Daddy’s bewilderment.  “One of Edwin’s strongest moves, having little effect on Bo!  Bo may be the toughest man in this fed, and Edwin’s going to have to use his smarts to pull out the win here.  It’s all going to come down to who wants to face Thugg more, and right now, I have to give that edge to Bo!”  The two men are up, Edwin a little bit before Bo, trying to figure how to take him down.  As Bo gets to his feet, Edwin is hit with inspiration, and a burst of speed!  He barrels forward and leaps at Bo, splashing him down and rolling into a sunset flip!  The big man tries to get his shoulders off the mat, but Edwin pushes down hard!

 

ONE!

 

TWO—and Bo powers up and out, clocking Edwin in the jaw with a right hook and breaking the cover!  The crowd cheers as these two men keep up a remarkable pace, Bo rising and scooping Edwin up off the mat, straight into a quick backbreaker over his right knee.  Balancing carefully, Bo flips Edwin, raises him up, and now hits a gutbuster drop over the same knee!  Out of THAT position, Bo rises to his feet and gutwrenches Edwin!  From the gutwrench Bo flips Edwin onto his shoulders, and in a few short seconds he barrels forward with heavy stomps, kicks out his feet, and falls straight forward!

 

WHAM!

 

“Diving powerbomb from Perfect Bo, shattering Edwin’s spine!  This could be enough to put down MacPhisto and score Bo his first world title shot in ages!”  The ref dives to the mat and starts the count!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREEEEEE—no, Edwin burst forward and gets a shoulder up at the last second!  “Closest fall of the night—NTD, NTD, wake up!  You’re missing a great match!”

 

“Mushuggana!  I was dreaming about Billy, and Chuck…ooh…”

 

“Who the hell are they?”

 

“Oh, you wouldn’t understand…”

 

It’s time to rise up for the maker of Shook Ones, and he brings Edwin with him, quickly throwing on a front facelock, a waist cinch, and a big vertical lift!  The crowd oohs and flashbulbs pop as Bo holds Edwin in the stalling suplex for nearly 10 seconds before falling back with the big crush!  The ring shudders under the impact, but Bo rolls off and gets back to his feet rather than go for the pin.  He gets Edwin in an arm wrench and continues his power assault, driving a big knee into Edwin’s gut before whipping him again.  The Mac Daddy comes off the ropes…and ducks Bo’s big clothesline!  The crowd cheers as Edwin hits the opposite ropes and bounces back, leaping with a crossbody, but they cheer even more as Bo catches him and busts him over his knee with a rib-breaker!  Bo pulls Edwin up as he groans, stands for a moment…and vaults backwards with a fallaway slam!  Edwin slides away and Bo gets to his feet, confidently stalks towards Edwin, and falls to his knees for the press pin.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH—“No, MacPhisto barely survives another combo attack!” shouts Curry over the roaring crowd.  “Bo’s powerful assault is starting to take a toll on Edwin’s rib and abdomen; he probably can’t take too many more shots there!”

 

“Blah, blah, blah.  Why doesn’t the Suicide King just come out and hits them with lobsters or something?”

 

“Lobsters?”

 

“I just woke up!  Jeez, cut a brother some slack!”

 

“Oh don’t you start on that ghetto stuff again…”

 

“Step off, dogg!  Fo shurzzle my Currzzle!”  

 

Bo, wondering what it will take to put Edwin down, pulls him off the mat again, throws another knees to his gut and whips him into the ringpost.  He follows behind with a big avalanche, crunching the Mac Daddy into the corner and emptying his lungs!  Quickly as he can, Bo slaps on a ¾ facelock, and the crowd roars as he leaps forward!

 

“Perfect Pain!  Perfect Pain!”

 

The crowd gets up out of its seats, but Edwin musters some energy and drives his palms into the small of Bo’s back, shoving him off and away!  Bo staggers ahead, and Edwin hops to the second rope!  The crowd roars as Bo turns, and Edwin leaps off, leading with his elbow and hitting a sharp elbow drop into the still standing Bo’s chest!  The two men fall together, and Edwin lands on top, hooking the leg as he falls!  “Cradle from MacPhisto off the Perfect Pain reversal—here’s the ref!  New #1 contender!!”

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH—and Edwin’s surprise attack comes as his closest pinfall of the night!  “Bo’s tremendous size really cuts down Edwin’s offense,” notes Curry, “and he’s taken to doing whatever he can to knock Bo, who has 50 pounds on him, off his vertical base!  The dropkicks and flying elbow have done best so far, but can he keep it up?”

 

“No!  Neither of them can keep it up, because they’re both going to collapse from heart failure and get counted-down!”

 

“You really don’t want anyone to win this thing, do you?”

 

“No!  The Thugg stands alone!”

 

“Don’t you mean the cheese?”

 

“Yes!  Thugg’s a muenster, after all!”

 

“Groan…”

 

Edwin tries to take the advantage, dragging Bo to this feet as quickly as possible.  Edwin swings a left hook, but as soon as Bo commits to the block with his right, Edwin stops his attack and drops, taking the off-balance Bo out at the roots with a dragon screw legwhip!  “Edwin had Bo’s counter scouted there—not bad for an impromptu match, not bad at all!”  Bo thunders to the mat with a thump, and Edwin contemplates rolling into a half-crab, but the sight of Bo’s thrashing thick thigh stalls that idea.  Instead, Edwin rolls over onto Bo’s back and snags his arms from behind, pulling him up to a kneeling position, and the crowd starts to pop for the submission not seen in many a month!  “First Circle!  First Circle!  Edwin’s going for his standing surfboard submission, one of the toughest submissions to escape just by its very nature!”  Edwin pulls back…and he’s got Bo up!  The Perfect One cries out in a deep voice as Edwin grins his right foot into the small of Bo’s back, wearing him down relentlessly!  The ref gets in Bo’s face and asks if he wants to give up, since Bo’s hands are locked in Edwin’s grasp and unable to tap, and the crowd roars as Bo shouts out, “Fuck no!”  He starts to rock forward, and Edwin’s eyes bug out as he tries to rock back and hold Bo in place.  But Bo’s too strong—he rocks forward once more and Edwin flips over his head, landing tangled up in Bo’s arms, sitting in front of him!  Bo quickly shakes off the pain in his back, rising slowly but surely, taking Edwin in a rear waistlock and vaulting backwards with a German Suplex…and a release!  Edwin rockets out of Bo’s grasp and hurtles into the ropes with amazing force, crashing down hard along the way!  As quickly as he can, Bo gets up and starts to move towards Edwin, dragging him off the ropes, slapping on a ¾ facelock…and having Edwin reverse into an inverted facelock on instinct alone!

 

“Counter!  Another counter out of the Perfect Pain!” cries Curry!  But as Edwin goes for the neckbreaker, Bo spins out and catches Edwin around the throat!  Aiming for the corner, Bo lifts up, gets his hand on Edwin’s back, and rockets forward with a choke toss, slamming the Mac Daddy’s back into the ringpost hard!

 

“And Bo counters out of the counter!  Ugh!  Just die already!” whines NTD.  Bo charges for the corner, roaring all the way, looking for a final crushing blow to Edwin’s ribs, but as he nears, Edwin snaps to attention, pulls himself up on the ropes, and floats over Bo’s back as he rams the corner!  Edwin slides down, hooking the arms along the way!  The crowd roars as Edwin tries to power forward for the spike backslide, but Bo is too big!  He cracks his head backward and catches Edwin’s skull, dazing both men, but Edwin rolls out and manages to land a shotei into Bo’s gut at the last second, fazing him a little more!  Without hesitation, starting to lose focus now, Edwin pushes Bo up onto the second rope, and with a grunt, forces him up to sit on the top rope!

 

“What’s Edwin got planned?  Something huge to take the big man—oh, no way, no way, he wouldn’t try it!”  The crowd roars as Edwin hops to the second rope, climbs up to the top, and balances precariously, pulling the fazed Bo up with a front facelock, quickly growling and jerking him up into a vertical suplex position, barely balancing with the tremendous weight of Bo on his arms!  “Air MacPhisto!  No one kicks out of Air MacPhisto—and here goes Edwin!  He has to jump fast—Bo weighs too much to hold for any length of time!”  Sloppily, Edwin leaps off the top rope, but his haste and Bo’s weight prove too much—as he shifts Bo for the Square Driver that finishes the Top Rope Falcon Arrow, Bo gets his hands around Edwin’s neck in a ¾ facelock!  Flashbulbs erupt as the two men go down…

 

…down…

 

…down…

 

…and CRASH INTO THE MAT, Bo connecting with the Perfect Pain just as Edwin drives him over with the Air MacPhisto!  “SUPER PERFECT PAIN!” rails Curry!  “AIR MACPHISTO!  BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!  WHOEVER CAN GET THE ARM OVER FIRST WILL BE THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!”  

 

The crowd is on fire, conflicted, rival chants breaking out!

 

“BO BO BO BO”

“MAC-PHIST-OOOOO”

“BO BO BO BO”

“MAC-PHIST-OOOOO”

 

“ONE!”

 

“No way!  The referee wouldn’t count them down, would he?”

 

“TWO!”

 

“I’m going to get my wish!  WOOOOOO!”

 

“THREE!”  The referee keeps counting!  To four!  To five!  To six!  At seven, Bo and Edwin barely start to move, the crowd in a frenzy!  

 

“EIGHT!”  Bo gets to one knee…

 

“NINE!”  Edwin gets to one knee…

 

“TE--” and just at ten, both men rocket forward into a lock-up!  The crowd explodes…

 

…and a huge wall of fire erupts at the entrance ramp!

 

“They don’t know…who we be!”

 

And suddenly, all those cheers turn to boos, as the Hville Thugg comes lumbering down the ramp as fast as he can!  “It’s Thugg!  God dammit, it’s Thugg!  He’s come down to let the Suicide King know what he thinks of his booking, and this doesn’t look good for either Bo or Edwin!”

 

“Yes!  Neither of these guys are fit to lick your Timberlands, Thugg!  Kill em!”  Bo notices Thugg first and breaks off the lock-up, and Edwin notices just after!  The two look to each, nod, and lock inside arms as Thugg dives into the ring, and the crowd roars as the two battered warriors charge forward…

 

…INTO THUGG’S OPEN PALMS, ONE FOR EACH MAN’S THROAT!

 

“No!  No!” shouts Curry!  “Thugg’s had almost an hour to recover from his match with the Clan, and he’s fresh while Bo and Edwin are battered!  This is NOT how to end a #1 contender’s match!   Bo and Edwin have locked their arms together on that team clothesline, and now Thugg…he has them both!”

 

The crowd is booing huge, and as Edwin and Bo weakly kick, Thugg just sternly glares, takes a step towards the center of the ring, just enough room to SPIN and SLAM BOTH MEN INTO THE MAT WITH THE UNTAAAAAAAAAAAAMED!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”  Garbage litters the ring, and the referee shakes his head as he calls for the bell!

 

“No, no, not like this!”  Funyon looks up to the referee, his brow furrowed as he waits for the decision.  He stands, shaking his head as he understands, speaking to the microphone gravely…

 

“As a result of outside interference…this match has been declared…a NO-CONTEST!”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“MY GOD!  What the hell?  The Hville Thugg just took out both of the possible contenders to his belt!  We don’t have a winner, and I don’t know what that means, folks!  Thugg is standing tall in the ring now, Edwin and Bo aren’t moving, and—oh god, no, Thugg, enough is enough!”  Curry shouts as Thugg steps towards the now turning referee, driving a huge thigh into his small chest before scooping into position for an inverted DDT, up…and DOWN, with a huge Thugg Passion!  The ring rocks and the limp forms of Edwin and Bo bounce with the impact, and the referee is absolutely crushed!

 

“It’s justice, Curry!  No one can run with the Thugg, and no one can screw with him—not Edwin, not Bo, not a referee, not even King!  He’s a great man, Curry!”

 

“Great nothing!  He just ruined one of the most thrilling, competitive matches we’ve seen in months—and we’re out of time!  My god, what’s going to be the fallout of this on Storm?  Who will face the Hville Thugg next?  Will anyone want to?  For NTD, Ben Hardy, and the whole SWF crew, this is Curry Man, signing off!”

 

The SWF logo appears, fading in over a shot of Thugg standing in the ring, rising his title belt high over his head, spinning amidst a hail of garbage, the true, and for now, undisputed king of the ring…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

HARDCORE TITLE MATCH

Stryke © vs. Johnny Rotten

- Stryke retains.

 

HANDICAP MATCH

Hville Thugg vs. Thoth & Fallout

- Some Bo interference goes bad and Thugg gets the win!

 

3-WAY TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Jay Dawg & Sacred © vs. Erek Taylor & Munich vs. El Luchadore Magnifico & Chris Raynor

- Champs retain.

 

SWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE #1 CONTENDERS MATCH

Edwin MacPhisto vs. Perfect Bo

- Double chokeslam from Thugg and the match is a no-contest!