Hoff 0 Report post Posted May 13, 2005 (edited) HeldDOWN~! is filmed before a live studio audience. The cameras cut to a shot of OAOAST Head of Security CARL WINSLOW~ to a big pop. Carl stands at the desk of Josie Baker, the show's illustrious General Manager. JOSIE (smiling) Carl, in honor of the show being held in your hometown of Chicago, as well as the great job you've done lately, I've decided to give you the night off. Carl grins from ear to ear. CARL Thank you so much, Ms. Baker. I can't wait to get home to Harriet. JOSIE Well, that's my other surprise, Carl. Harriet called, and she's on her way here with your whole family -- Laura, Eddie, even little Richie. And I've given them all backstage passes. Carl's mouth drops in shock. CARL Really?! Wow! That's...well that's amazing! Josie laughs. JOSIE Yeah! I thought they deserved to see "the big guy" in action! CARL Wow, this is great! Thanks, Ms. Baker! JOSIE No problem, Carl. Now, why don't you have a seat and enjoy the show until they get here. You can even use my office, I've got some things to take care of. Josie gets up and walks around her desk, patting Carl on the arm. Carl smiles and sits in the chair, leaning back. JOSIE Don't you get too comfy, there. I'll be back for it later. Carl laughs, and Josie smiles as she heads out the door. Carl grabs the nearby TV remote and aims it at the small set on Josie's desk. CARL Now, to watch my favorite show. Carl clicks the remote and...nothing happens. CARL What the... Carl clicks it again, and the TV stays blank. Carl tries turning it on by hand, but no avail. CARL What the hell? A knock at the door. CARL Come in. The door opens and it's.... STEVE URKEL! URKEL Hi big guy! Carl looks up, and rolls his eyes. Steve is carrying a big box. CARL Stevem what are you doing here? URKEL I'm meeting your family! They got me a backstage pass too. Want some CHEEEEEEESE? CARL No thanks. Hey, Steve, can you give me a hand with this TV? URKEL Oh, come now Carl. Who needs television when you can have Urkelvision? Urkel reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of what look like ski goggles. CARL .....Urkelvision? URKEL Urkelvision! Here, try it on! The grinning Steven Q. Urkel moves toward Carl, but the Chief of Security recoils. URKEL Come on big guy, it's perfectly safe! Carl hesitates. CARL Well...if you say so... Carl yields, and Urkel hands him the goggles. Carl slips them on. CARL Okay. Now what? Urkel turns a dial on the side of the eyewear. URKEL Now you just twist this and...voila! The goggles start to flash, and Carl smiles. CARL Hey! This is pretty cool! URKEL Yessir, the Urkelvision 5000 is my best model! How's the fit? CARL Well actually, they are a little loose. URKEL Try the dial on the left. Carl turns the dial, and smiles. CARL Hey, that tightened them! URKEL Yep, it's all electronic! CARL Wow. Hey...hey Steve, they're still tightening! URKEL What? CARL The goggles, they're...they're still getting tighter! Oh no! URKEL Oh no! Urkel tries to pull them off of Carl's head, swinging Carl into a file cabinet and knocking it over! CARL STEVE!! URKEL Whoopsie! Urkel pulls the other way, and Carl slams into the desk, knocking Josie's papers all around. CARL STEVE HELP ME!! URKEL Hold on big guy, I almost got it! Steve pulls and-- *KA-BOOM* CARL WINSLOW'S HEAD EXPLODES!!!! The goggles come flying off, resting on Josie's desk as Carl Winslow's lifeless, headless body falls forward. SHAO KAHN FATALITY. URKEL .....Did I do that? HeldDOWN is presented by OAOAST Entertainment. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The annoying, grating strains of Ashlee Simpson's LaLa play over the TV sets of America, for one more week, anyway. Our opening montage airs, with clips of Carl Winslow that seem out of place, now. At the end of it all, our amazing, high-tech logo flashes upon the screen... And we cut LIVE to the arena, in the busy windy city of Chicago, home of Chris Jericho's WWF debut. I was there! Somewhere in the upper deck someone is sitting in my seat. There has to be, because we are SOLD-OUT, and this crowd is LOUD and loving it. There's a lot of men in the crowd, and this fact is most pleasing to our announce team, Triple C, at Sofa Central at ringside. COLE WELCOME TO HELDDOWN!!!!!! COACH I LIKE MEN! COLE ME TOO! And I especially like foreign men, and tonight we're gonna see one. The official debut of Igor Stoyanovich. CABOOSE It's a massacre waiting to happen. Also tonight, we'll see the HI-YAH tag titles defended in a four-way bout! What action! COLE We're also gonna hear more from the GPX about their shocking actions last week. In fact, word is that they're just entering the building.... We cut to one of the entrances backstage, just in time to see Scotty Static and Johnny "Jam" Jackson, the Global Party Exchange, setting foot in the arena. The crowd, seeing the heralded tag team on the Angletron in the arena, begin booing, as they're not happy with the actions of the GPX from last week. The GPX walk into the lockerroom carrying their bags. They walk past a scowling Alfdogg, and the Original Elite. Immediately, Dan Black and Tony Brannigan spring to their feet and prepare to launch an attack, but CWM pushes them both back down and gets up, stepping towards the two apprehensive youngsters. CWM: HEY! I want to talk to you little punks! The GPX look at CWM, giving him the once over, and chuckle. Scotty Static:"Little punks"? Dude, c'mon now...you sound like one of those old neighbors you'd see in a sitcom. CWM:There you go with the "old" stuff again. You know, a lot of us aren't much older than you, but last week you guys seemed to have a lot to say about us "old timers". A lot to say, but not a lot of respect. Jonny Jackson: Easy gramps, we've got respect. Respect for OURSELVES. We're tired of playing the waiting game while you guys find oh so new and exciting ways to hate each other. I'm sick of it, Scotty's sick of it, and... Scotty Static:...and we figured we'd give you a little extra motivation to step aside. CWM: You listen to me, I'm not stepping aside. Black T isn't stepping aside, Alfdogg isn't stepping aside, none of us are stepping aside. We've put our blood, sweat, and tears into this company and we're not going to leave just because some young punks want us to. Scotty Static: You talk a good game but can you back it up? CWM: Can I back it up? Kid, I've been in the ring with people better than you, and they've beaten me worse. I've been thrown off the tops of Cells, sent through the windshield of an ambu... Johnny Jackson: Yeah yeah, enough with the history lesson. You wanna go tonight? Black T wanna go tonight? CWM: Nah, no Black T, they can have you guys later. Tonight, I'm gonna show you what happens when you write checks your ass can't cash. Scotty Static: Ooooooh, that cliche has me SH-SH-SHAKIN'! Alright, washout, I'll take you up on your offer. After all, we've kicked your boys asses before...shouldn't have any trouble with the weak link of the team. With that, Jackson and Static look for a better, safer spot to gear up for later on, as CWM fumes over the arrogance of the two upstarts before we cut back to Sofa Central! COLE Oh my! CWM against...Scotty Static?! What a match! COACH Absolutely, but fans, we're being told there's no more time to waste! We are gonna see the debut of Igor Stoyanovich...NOW! CABOOSE I can't wait!! The cameras cut to Michael Buffer, standing in the ring. BUFFER The following Tag Team contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! I’ve exposed your lies baby And underneath is no big surprise Now it’s time for changing and cleansing everything To forget your love “Plug in Baby” starts up as the crowd quickly descend into a chorus of boos for the first team. Gunner Sharps makes his way through the curtain first, and holds it open for his partner, the number one contender, Crystal. Both Crystal and Gunner are looking confident with their upcoming match, knowing that if they get their way, it’ll be a glorified handicap match. CABOOSE This was a stroke of genius by Crystal and Gunner guys, come on, getting Igor in the ring with Hoff? Brilliant, I say. COLE I hate to agree with you ‘Boose, but this won’t be pretty! BUFFER Introducing first, the team of GUNNER SHARPS, and THE FEMALE PHENOM, CRYYYYYYYYYSTTTTTTAAAAAAALLLLLL!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” CABOOSE Couldn’t the fans come up with a more original chant? “CABOOSE IS GHEY! CABOOSE IS GHEY!” CABOOSE Wow, I didn’t think they could all hear me. BOOM! “The Clincher” hits as the crowd go NUT for the big man, the second most popular wrestler in the OAOAST, Hoff! “The Future” gets greeted by a standing ovation from the massive sold out crowd, who break into “HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!” chants! COACH Chicago loves Hoff! CABOOSE Yeah, they also love the Cubs, which shows how much they know about anything. The big man stops at the entrance ramp, waiting for his ‘special’ partner. COACH Hehehe, Igor’s special. COLE YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT! BUFFER And their opponents, first, from Minneapolis Minnesota, weighing in tonight at two hundred seventy-five pounds, THIS, IIIIIIIIIIIISSSSS HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!! “The Clincher” dies down, only to be replaced by… The SOVIET FUCKING ANTHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH! I-GOR! I-GOR!” BUFFER And his partner, IGOR STOYAAAAAAANOOOOOOOOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICH!!!!!!!!!!!! Igor, perplexed at a huge ovation for the second week in a row, comes through the curtain, fascinated that all these people are cheering for him. The Russian hero meets Hoff on the entrance ramp, who whispers something in his ear, and the two charge down to the ring! COLE Well I would guess that Hoff is starting out the match here. CABOOSE Oh, you would guess, huh? I think its logical for Igor to start out! COLE Why? CABOOSE So I can laugh at him getting destroyed by Crystal and Gunner is why! The two fan favourites slide into the ring and go face to face with their opponents. Well, not Igor, as he is more hiding behind Hoff who is going face to face with both of his opponents. The referee is about to motion for the bell to be rung… Cue: “Vertigo” by U2 CABOOSE Now what the hell is this! COLE It’s our boss! A healthy surprise pop greets Josie Baker, as we welcome her back to HeldDown after a holiday. Josie has a huge smile on her face, and a nice tan, awwwwww. She also has a MICROPHONE~! In hand. JOSIE Wait a second there guys and Crystal. You didn’t really think I’d let you all wrestle like this, did you? Come on, its Igor in there! I knew he’d cheat to win! COLE What? Crystal and Gunner are surprised by this heelish statement, that causes a few stray fans to boo. JOSIE So I’ve decided to appoint a special guest referee! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHH!” COLE I think we get the gist of it now… COACH CARL WINSLOW! CABOOSE Would somebody get him out of here. JOSIE And let me introduce you all to him right now. He is the man that will be facing Crystal, May 29 at School’s Out… Crystal starts to shake her head, furious at what is about to happen! JOSIE Ladies and gentlemen, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion… AXEL! I’D EAT YOU ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEEEEE! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd ERUPTS as the OAOAST Champion appears, referee shirt on, and title in hand. Axel walks down the ramp to no pyro, quickly steps into the ring, and goes face to face with Crystal! COLE Wow, Crystal is getting in the face of the referee! She wouldn’t want to be disqualified! CABOOSE She’s asking him about the time limit! Gunner Sharps steps in to try and get face to face with Axel, but the champion just points to his referee’s logo, infuriating Crystal and Gunner. Axel then looks over at Hoff, smiling, and then at Igor, who is jumping up and down clapping his hands. The Russian starts to go over to his corner… when he is stopped by Axel. COLE What’s the champ doing? Axel motions for IGOR to start the match, and Hoff to go to the corner! Hoff asks Axel what the hell he’s doing, but Axel just tells Hoff that Igor is starting the match! Hoff is pissed off about this, almost getting in Axel’s face, before realising that it won’t do any good, and stepping out onto the apron. COACH I really don’t know what Axel’s thinking here. Igor starting the match? Crystal sees that Igor is starting the match, and is suddenly excited at the prospect of beginning the contest. Igor and Crystal step into the center of the ring, and Axel calls for the opening bell. *DING DING DING* Crystal walks up to a hesitant Igor, laughing in the Russian’s face… and SLAPPING the tase out of his mouth! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE This is not going to be good guys. What’s the matter with Axel? Igor steps back and goes down to one knee, Crystal follows him, and bends down to pick the Russian up… …BUT IGOR GETS A SMALL PACKAGE! COLE SMALL PACKAGE! AXEL WITH THE COUNT! ONE!!!!!!!!!TWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!THREEEEEEEEEE!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE HE GOT IT! GIRO JUST PINNED CRYSTAL! CABOOSE THAT WAS A FAST COUNT! NO! Axel and Igor roll out of the ring, away from the furious Crystal and Gunner Sharps. Hoff joins them on the ramp, and the two share high fives and smiles all around! Igor is overjoyed to get the win as The Russian National Anthem plays! CRYSTAL WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE! The music dies down, and Crystal takes the floor. CRYSTAL You wanna screw me champ? Huh? You wanna do that to me? Well how about we have another tag match tonight, and considering you and Hoff are so buddy buddy, Im sure you won’t mind! Me and Gunner versus you and Hoff. Axel nods in agreement, and Hoff agrees with the agreement, and Igor jumps up and down clapping. CRYSTAL Oh but it doesn’t end there Axel, you see, I want to add a little stipulation. The losers of tonight’s tag match? They’ll face off, one on one, next week on HeldDown! COLE WOW! Axel and Hoff look at each other, slightly hesitant, but soon break into laughter, as if they’ve been mocking it the whole time. Axel points at Crystal and shouts ‘YOU’RE ON!’ to a crown pop. CRYSTAL Well then after tonight, you two won’t be so buddy buddy anymore! See you then! “Plug in Baby” starts up again as Axel, Hoff and Igor walk up the ramp, arms raised in victory. Crystal and Gunner exit the ring and go down the side of the ramp. COLE What a tag match tonight! Crystal and Gunner versus Axel and Hoff, the losers face each other next week on HeldDown! We’ll be back! Edited May 13, 2005 by Hoff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted May 13, 2005 The shot fades in on Axel, Hoff, and the victorious Igor Stoyanovich in the back. IGOR WE DID IT!!!!! The trio laughs, smiling like goons at what they just pulled. HOFF You're damn right we did, buddy, hit me up top! Hoff holds up his hand and he and Igor pull off the "Dudes With Attitudes" high-five. Igor pumps his fist in celebration, running around like a lunatic. HOFF Ah, man...now, you sure about this tag match tonight? AXEL Hell yeah, mate! Let's kick their asses! HOFF Hey, I'm with ya, but that stipulation Crystal threw out there... AXEL Ay, nothin' to worry about! We'll beat 'em, and that's that! Hoff nods. HOFF Damn right. Axel and Hoff nod, and clasp hands, as the elated Igor runs around backstage. IGOR A WINNER IS ME! DA!!!!!!!!! ::And we now join a seemingly upset Crystal and Gunner Sharps in a conversation in the hallway. Let’s listen in!:: CRYSTAL I cannot believe that stupid Czech retard called me a skank ho last week! GUNNER Uh, he’s Russian. CRYSTAL Whatever! It’s all the same thing anyways. I’m gone for one day to try and get a “Crystal Day” in my home province, and what happens? I get insulted, in front of my own home crowd! They must have been devastated that their hero was degraded! GUNNER How did that go? Did you get your own day? CRYSTAL (mumbling) It didn’t work out this year. (clears throat) Oh hey! Look who we have here! ::The camera pans to the left of the two rulebreakers and none other than GPX is shown!:: SCOTTY Can we help you with somethin’? CRYSTAL Hey now, no need for hostility. That took some balls what you guys did last week. Beating up Black T, Zack, and Some Guy? Freaking brilliant. JOHNNY Hey, why do you care? We beat up those four ‘cause we weren’t getting any recognition. You, Miss Crown Jewel don’t seem to have a problem with that. You’re getting a World Title shot! CRYSTAL And who’s in the main events? Is it me? Is it even the OAOAST champ? GUNNER Nope. SCOTTY It’s just disgustin’ how the same freaking people hog the main events. We about to change that. JOHNNY True dat. We’re going to make that old guard move for the newer, better guard. CRYSTAL Best of luck to you guys. If you need any help, you know where to look. The GPX walk off, leaving Crystal and Gunner to themselves. Gunner remains his usual stoic self, but a sly grin stretches across the face of the Female Phenom as we come back to the three amigos at Sofa Central. COLE I didn't like that smile on Crystal's face. COACH I like every smile she gives me. CABOOSE "Her," "dudes," it's all good. COACH Hey, what the hell? *Suddenly, The Chicago Bulls theme plays and the lights go out! Bulls mascot Benny the Bull comes down from the ceiling!* COLE Look, it's Benny the Bull! COACH I guess with yet another heartbreaking end to a Chicago sports season, Benny's got to pull in some paychecks somehow, eh? *Benny lands in the ring as the lights return, and shoots T-shirts and stuffed mini basketballs into the crowd with that giant slingshot. He then throws a few into the crowd, then waves and goes into the crowd.* COLE Wow, what a surprise guest. Well folks, last week we saw some startling stuff go down between the Puerto Rican and John Brickston, and we're being told that PR has something to say! Cut to “Mean” Gene Okuerland, who is standing by with a microphone in his right hand at the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview area (which means that Gene is standing in front of a cyclone fence that has the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo plastered all over it). “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND Fans, if you tuned into HeldDOWN~! last week, you witnessed two brutal attacks live as they happened. We saw The Global Party Exchange destroy Zack Malibu, Some Guy, and Black T. And we also saw The Lightning Crew finally get the upper hand on John “Rock Hard” Brickston, when they attacked him backstage right before he was scheduled to defend the Italian Championship against Cuban Wall. Right now, I’m about to interview the leader of The Lightning Crew. He is the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion; He is “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican walks into the interview area, wearing a Puerto Rico flag bandana, gold chain, sunglasses, pierced left ear, black Lightning Crew t-shirt, blue elbow pads, Puerto Rico flag wristbands, black sweatpants, Puerto Rico flag boots, and the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt sitting over his left shoulder. The crowd boos the moment PRL appears on camera. PRL arrives with a smirk on his face. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN “Mean” Gene! Damn, it’s been a long time since you’ve interviewed me. What’s up? “MEAN” GENE P.R., what you and The Lightning Crew did last week was viewed by many as cowardly, repulsive, and just plain wrong. How do you feel about that? PRL Well, “The Corporate Champion” is not really concerned about that. I had to find a way to punish John Brickston for all the evil things he’s done to me. He tried to steal my 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously; he has attacked The Lightning Crew without being provoked, not to mention he has a big ego. Just because he’s bigger than me, just because he is more muscular than me, and just because he DOESN’T have a voice that is so high pitched it can make your ears bleed, does not, I repeat, does NOT mean he is the superior wrestler. I won’t deny the fact that Brickston has some skills; it’s just that I have better skills than him. It’s as simple as that. “MEAN” GENE Well, let’s take a look at what transpired last week, backstage at HeldDOWN~!, between The Lightning Crew and John Brickston. The HeldDOWN~! logo flashes by on the screen. On the bottom right hand corner, the words: OAOAST HeldDOWN~! MAY 5, 2005 “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall take turns hitting Brickston. Brickston fights back, but Vitamin X stuns him with a stun taser. The Lightning Crew gang up on Brickston, forcing him onto the floor. Brickston, feeling the effects of the taser shot, is unable to fight back, so he just covers his head in order to block the blows. COLE Another cowardly attack by The Lightning Crew! They know they can’t take Brickston on face-to-face, so they resort to these guerilla warfare tactics in order to gain the advantage! COACH Well, you can’t deny the result. For once, John Brickston is the one getting his ass kick by Tha Puerto Rican, and not the other way around. Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall pick up Brickston. They throw him into a wall again and again, and then kick him. Cuban Wall avalanches Brickston. Cuban Wall chokes Brickston with his bare hands. PRL tells Vitamin X to grab something. Vitamin X responds with a fire extinguisher! Mr. Boricua, PRL, and Thomas Rodriguez hold Brickston up. Vitamin X slams the fire extinguisher across the face of “Rock Hard. PRL holds Brickston’s right hand out, and Vitamin X slams the fire extinguisher onto it, causing Brickston to scream out loud. PRL holds out the right hand again, and once again X slams the fire extinguisher onto it. COLE Oh my God! Look at what The Lightning Crew is doing! COACH They’re targeting John Brickston’s right hand! They’re trying to break it! CABOOSE That’s the way to go, Lightning Crew! Wall holds Brickston, and PRL superkicks him. PRL says the attack is not done yet, so Cuban Wall picks up Brickston, grabs him by the throat, and gives him a chokeslam! COLE What a disgusting attack! Tha Puerto Rican is nothing but scum! He’s a slimeball! CABOOSE I’m sure PRL doesn’t care about anything you have to say about him. The Lightning Crew laugh evilly at what they have just done. They high-five each other, watching John Brickston lie on the floor in pain, holding his stomach and his right hand. PRL spits on Brickston. Suddenly, The All-American Boys run towards The LC and attack! COLE Hey! The All-American Boys have arrived! COACH They’re repaying John Brickston for saving them last week! The All-American Boys beat up Cuban Wall and Vitamin X. Suddenly, Thomas Rodriguez zaps All-American Boy II with the stun taser. He then zaps All-American Boy III with the stun taser. Mr. Boricua clotheslines AAB II. PRL signals for a chokeslam. Mr. Boricua picks up AAB II and gives him a chokeslam onto the cold, hard concrete. Vitamin X shoves AAB III onto Mr. Boricua, who grabs him and gives him a chokeslam onto the concrete also. COLE My God, will somebody please stop this carnage! COACH The Lightning Crew has absolutely DESTROYED The All-American Boys and John “Rock Hard” Brickston! CABOOSE HA! HA! I love it! This is great! PRL has done it again! You gotta love that man! Cuban Wall splashes John Brickston. He gets up, and splashes AAB II. He gets up again, and splashes AAB III. CABOOSE And now those three poor saps are now flatten like pancakes. Aww, this just keeps getting better and better. The Lightning Crew stands victorious over The All-American Boys and John “Rock Hard” Brickston. Brickston is coughing, and holding his right hand. Cuban Wall grabs the OAOAST Italian Championship belt and puts it in Brickston’s face. CUBAN WALL You’re not going to hold this belt for long! Cuban Wall drops the belt next to Brickston. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes by on the screen again. The camera does a close-up of PRL laughing at the footage. The crowd boos. OKUERLAND There you have it folks. The Lightning Crew attacked John Brickston and The All-American Boys, and PRL is proud of it. P.R. Well, you get what you deserve. Brickston was long overdue for a beatdown of that magnitude. And he finally got his just desserts last week. OKUERLAND What about the rumours circulating that Brickston has broken ribs, and a broken right hand as a result of this attack? PRL Meh. Doesn't bother me. I won't shed a tear if Brickston is injured. Infact, I'll do an Ashlee Simpson-like hoedown if I find out he is seriously injured. Infact, you can join me Gene. We'll dance together just like when you danced with the Gobbledygooker at the 1990 Survivor Series! GENE (annoyed) No thanks. PRL Fine, be that way! “MEAN” GENE Well, what about The All-American Boys? PRL Well, they shouldn’t have put their noses in my business. Just because Brickston saved them a few weeks back does not give them the right to inject themselves into Lightning Crew affairs. But they did, so we responded by kicking their asses. Sorry All-American Boys, but hopefully this will teach you a lesson you’ll never forget. (PRL smiles at the camera.) CROWD “P.R. SUCKS!” “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND PRL, incase you didn’t know, John Brickston also issued a challenge against you for School’s Out. Let’s take a look. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes by on the screen. A caption reads: OAOAST HeldDOWN~! MAY 5, 2005 BRICKSTON You tell PRL, you tell him, I want his ass at School’s Out! I want to kick his ass at School’s Out! I’M GOING TO DESTROY THA PUERTO RICAN AT SCHOOL’S OUT! I WILL! Brickston continues being checked by the medical personnel. COLE John Brickston is bleeding from the mouth, and yet he still has the strength to issue a challenge to PRL for School’s Out. COACH Brickston has had enough of PRL. He was screwed out of the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously! The Lightning Crew viciously attacked him tonight! He wants to settle this at School’s Out; the question is whether or not Tha Puerto Rican will accept the challenge. COLE Who knows what he has suffered. Broken ribs? A broken hand? What injuries does he have thanks to this attack? CABOOSE Hopefully injuries bad enough that cause him to retire. COACH Why you got to be such an ass? CABOOSE Why you got to be such an idiot? COACH Uh...I don't know. BRICKSTON I want to kick PRL’s ass at School’s Out! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes by on the screen, taking us back to the HeldDOWN~! interview area. “MEAN” GENE So, P.R., the people want to know. Will you accept John “Rock Hard” Brickston’s challenge for a match against him at School’s Out? Tha Puerto Rican thinks it over for a few seconds. PRL Hmmm. Uh…NO! Crowd boos. “MEAN” GENE And why not? PRL Why not? Because Brickston hasn’t shown me that he deserves a rematch! He had his chance, and he BLEW IT! It’s his own damn fault that he didn’t become the 24/7 Champion at Living Anglelously. Just because he feels like he was screwed out of the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously, even though everyone and their grandmother knows Brickston hit me in the head with a pair of brass knuckles, he wants to fight me again? Uh-Uh! Tha Puerto Rican says this, until Brickston proves to me that he deserves a shot at my 24/7 Title, there will be NO REMATCH! The crowd boos. Suddenly, an idea pops into PRL’s head, and he starts speaking again. PRL But tell you what, (in a mocking tone): “Rock Hard”, (normal, high pitched voice): you want to fight me so bad at School’s Out? You can. Except it will NOT be in a one-on-one match. Once again, there will be NO REMATCH. Instead, I want to treat my Lightning Bolts to a tag match. An 8-Man Tag Match to be exact. That’s right, at School’s Out, on May 29th, there will be an 8-Man Tag Team Match with moi, Stephen Joseph Popick, Cuban Wall, and Vitamin X. And we will be taking on John Brickston, and three partners of his choice. It doesn’t matter whom. It can be a current star, or a star from the past. It can be a rookie or a legend. It can even be someone off the street I don’t care. As long you find 3 partners, it’s all good. So, come on down to Washington D.C. for School’s Out on Sunday May 29th, you bring your guys, and I’ll bring my guys, and we’ll have a match. And Brickston, I am looking forward very much to laying the smackdown on you and your partner’s candy asses! PRL does the laying the smackdown hand gesture (although it looks like he is trying to make a sandwich). THA PUERTO RICAN And John, if you do manage to beat my team, I may consider letting you have a rematch against me for the 24/7 Title somewhere down the road. But you will have to beat my team in order for me to consider it. I’m not going to be soft; I am going to kick your ass all over the capital of the United States Of America! So, go ahead, find three people to be on your team. It doesn’t matter who you pick, because the end result will be the same. The Lightning Crew on top. And your team, down for the count. 1-2-3. THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican leaves the interview area with the 24/7 Championship belt in tow. The crowd continues it’s booing of PRL. “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND Well, you heard it here, ladies and gentlemen. Tha Puerto Rican, Popick, Cuban Wall, and Vitamin X will take on John “Rock Hard” Brickston, and three partners of his choice in an 8-Man Tag Team Match at School’s Out on May 29th. Who will Brickston choose to be his partners? Hopefully, we will find out soon. Michael Cole, Coach, Caboose, back to you guys at Sofa Central for more HeldDOWN~! COACH This is one long-ass segment! CABOOSE Sometimes they get long. COACH Oh, believe me, the Coach knows about "long." CABOOSE I-- ugh.....urp....*vomits* COACH Two weeks runnin'! Green Day's "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" hits as three yellow lights shine down on the entranceway, mildly waking up the crowd who haven't had much to cheer about the tag team coming out at this time. GREEN PYRO MISSILES blast out of the staging area, followed by the appearance of the Sk8ter Boiz . BUFFER The following contest is a non-title match set for one fall, with a 15 minute time-limit. Introducing first, weighing 345 pounds, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, The Marv and Hell Mel, the SK8TER BOIZ! The Boiz get a nice ovation, but nowhere near the levels of past fan favorites such as the GPX or C.O.D. The Marv rides a SKATEBOARD to the ring, slapping as many hands as possible as he passes by. We zooms in on Marv's BUTT, written on the back: "LOOK BEHIND YOU." Pan around -- Hell Mel also slapping the fans' hands, a couple of young female fans, around 8-10 years old, reaching over the railing and tugging on Mel's unbuttoned dark blue blazer. Head of Security CARL WINSLOW intervening and politely asking the girls to let a smiling Mel go. COACH NEVER MIND WHY HE IS STILL ALIVE!!! COLE I find our next matchup to be very interesting, guys. We have the hungry young lions from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, the Sk8ter Boiz going up against the experience OAOAST World Tag Team champions, the New New Midnight Express with Jim Cornette. Both teams have beef with one another. The New New Midnight Express are upset the Sk8ter Boiz assisted C.O.D. in the infamous "Weekend at Neddy's" video. In response to that, the newly crowned tag team champions ambushed Marvin and Melvin Nerdly backstage, leaving them a bloody mess, presumably by using the sharpe ice skate found dripping with blood nearby. This is the first-time we'll see the Sk8ter Boiz in action since their attack a couple weeks back. It was a match they asked for, and was granted by OAOAST officials. CABOOSE Let's not forget to inform the public the New New Midnight Express agreed to this match, Cole. Do not try to spin this. COACH The Coach was talking with OAOAST agent Terry Taylor -- the Rooster himself -- earlier today about this very match, fellas, and he told me the Sk8ter Boiz are two of the most talented men he's ever seen, they just haven't had a chance to show what they can do. Well tonight they're going to have that chance, because they're not facing just another tag team. They're facing the two-time OAOAST World Tag Team champions, the New New Midnight Express. DUM, DUM, DUM, DUM... The synthesizied beat of Giorgio Moroder "Chase" begins blaring through the speakers, the fans wasting no time letting their voices be heard as they viciously boo the 3 men coming out onto the stage -- the New New Midnight Express and Jim Cornette. BUFFER And their opponents. Accompanied to the ring by their manager Jim Cornette, weighing 465 pounds, the professional wrestling Tag Team champions of the World, the NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXXXXPRESSSS! All 3 men jog to the ring and climb up the ring steps. James E. Cornette sits on the second rope and holds the top rope up for his men, following them in after they've both entered. "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton and "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard remove their tag title belts and pose for the cameras along with their manager in the corner. They hand Cornette the belts, which he then drapes across his shoulders and exits the ring, taunting a couple of hecklers wearing Heavenly Rockers gear ringside. The Midnights and the Boiz remove their entrance attire -- vests, blazers, etc. -- leaving Hell Mel as the only one wearing anything but his ring gear left; a red mesh tank top with "Matix" on the front. Each team huddles in their respective corners and share last-minute words before breaking. Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned form an "X" with their forearms and bash them together. The Marv and Hell Mel double high fiving, catching each other on the rebound and chest bump. Narcissistic Ned and Hell Mel exit the ring, Sarcastic Simon and The Marv left to start the match. * DING DING * COLE Referee Nick Patrick calls for the bell and we're officially underway. The Sk8ter Boiz vs. the New New Midnight Express in a non-title match! CABOOSE I know there's a 15 minute time-limit, but I have this one over in under 5. You have the reigning tag team champions against an inexperience team. COLE Well, matches aren't won on paper or on the words of a broadcast commentator. Sarcastic Simon and The Marv lockup. Marv with a go-behind into a hammerlock, and then into a SCHOOL BOY which gets two! While only a two-count, it sends shockwaves through Jim Cornette and Narcissistic Ned. They, nor did anybody else for that matter, expect to see the Boiz manage to get a quick pin attempt so soon into the match. Sarcastic Simon, meanwhile, doesn't have the opportunity to absorb what James E. and the Handsome Hustler did, as The Marv stays on the offensive, scooping Singleton up in the air and slamming him back down to the mat. The Sultan of Sarcasm avoids an elbow drop and tries to catch Marv with one of his own, but The Marv rolls out of the way and Singleton's ends up hitting nothing but canvas. Simon gets up holding his right elbow. Nerdly grabs ahold of Simon's left wrist and whips him across the ring, taking him up and over by the right arm for a HIPTOSS, Singleton's right elbow landing hard on the mat. The Marv turns away from Simon and falls backwards, the back of his head smacking with Simon's. ROCK N' FAKIE (Reverse diving headbutt)! He makes the cover and hooks the leg, while holding onto the back of his head. Nick Patrick goes down to make the count. ONE... TWO... NO! SIMON KICKS OUT. CABOOSE What an idiot! Who the bloody hell uses a reverse diving headbutt, huh? He could've knocked himself out cold that way. COLE It's a small price to pay to collect a win. CABOOSE I'll give you that. As the first-ever two-time OAOAST Champion, I wrestled through aches and pain, all of which was worth it if I left the arena that night with the belt still in my hands. But if Nerdly had knocked himself out -- the closest thing he'll get to knocking up anything -- who would have made the pin? He couldn't; he's out cold. Melvin can't; he's not the legal man. The answer: He would have gotten pinned. The Boiz focus in on Simon's right arm, now that he is favoring it after missing the elbow drop earlier. Armbar applied. The Marv takes him over to his corner and tags Hell Mel in. Mel leaps to the top -- SHOOTING STAR DOUBLE-AXEHANDLE ONTO SIMON'S RIGHT ARM, getting the crowd out of their seats for the new twist on an old move. Arm ringer applied. Melvin, a.k.a. Hell Mel, yanks on the arm, flipping Sarcastic Simon over and dropping a couple of legdrops across the arm. Mel keeps a wristlock on Simon as he gets back up. THUMB TO THE EYE! Sarcastic Simon thumbed Mel in the eye, and he quickly tags out, bringing in the fresher man. "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard slingshots over the top and lands perfectly in the ring on his feet. He charges Nerdly, but Hell Mel takes him over with an armdrag. Ned rises back to his feet and is met by a right hand. A disoriented Ned staggers towards the corner -- the wrong corner, the Sk8ter Boiz corner -- and takes a right from The Marv that sends him stagger back to Hell Mel who sends Blanchard right back where he came from following another right. The Boiz and the crowd have some fun with the Handsome Hustler before Hell Mel whips him to the ropes. Blanchard leapfrogs over a ducking Mel, but is dropped on his back following a DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN. Hell Mel somersaults over, holding onto Blanchard's legs. ONE... TW-- Narcissistic Ned slaps Hell Mel across his midsection with the palm of his hands and BRIDGES UP, attempting a BACKSLIDE but Melvin fights it. The Marv comes in and DROPKICKS HIS OWN BROTHER, sending him floating over the back of Ned and hits a TILT-A-WHIRL ROCK BOTTOM! The cover! ONE... TWO... TH-- SIMON BREAKS UP THE PIN! Hell Mel calls for his brother to join him in the ring. They wait for Ned to get back on his feet and nail him flush in the jaw with a DOUBLE DROPKICK, Ned tumbling out of the ring. Sarcastic Simon and Jim Cornette coverge outside with Narcissistic Ned, Simon massaging his shoulders while James E. fans him with his racket. Hell Mel tags in The Marv, and the Sk8ter Boiz stand mid-ring, pumping their fists, soaking in the cheers. COLE The Sk8ter Boiz proving their more than a comedy act. I know Jim Cornette and his men did not expect this. Narcissistic Ned slides back into the ring, sneering. Sarcastic Simon extends his hand out for a tag, but Ned shakes his head, wanting to stay into this match. He walks up to The Marv and points to Hell Mel standing on the apron. That's who he wants to face. Marv looks around the building, asking the fans if he should tag Mel. All the yelling and screaming inside the arena indicate yes. TAG MADE! Narcissistic Ned attempts to intimidate his 20-year-old opponent by showcasing an array of martial arts maneuvers, much to the delight of Jim Cornette and the distain of the fans. After a standoff, the two engage in a GRECKO-ROMAN KNUCKLELOCK! A big smile emerges on Ned's face as he brings Hell Mel to his knees and makes him scream for mommy. The Marv encourages the crowd to get behind Mel by furiously slapping the top turnbuckle. On cue, the crowd begins clapping their hands. Mel starts nodding his head, his legs trembling as he dramatically rises back to his feet. Hell Mel backs Narcissistic Ned up against the ropes with a succession of stinging kicks to the midsection. He leaps onto Ned's thighs and takes him over with an armdrag. Just as quickly Ned gets back up, he goes back down with another beautifully executed armdrag. This time Ned stays down and plays possum, waiting for Mel to come over and pick him up before stunning him with a reverse elbow to the gut. Irish wh-- No, reversed by Mel. Sarcastic Simon with the blind tag. Blanchard ducks under a leapfrog, stops in his tracks and spins Nerdly around. Hell Mel avoids a clothesline, measures Ned and leaps onto his shoulders. HURRICARANA COUNTERED INTO A POWERBOMB! Narcissistic Ned countered the hurricarana into a powerbomb. He hooks Mel's legs and CATAPULTS him towards the center of the apron, where Sarcastic Simon comes off and connects with a SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE! Jim Cornette hoots and hollers outside as Sarcastic Simon stomps Hell Mel, making him squirm around. He brings him back to a vertical base and sets him up for a back suplex, but instead bounces Mel's legs on the top rope and then drops him across his right knee. SLINGSHOT BACKBREAKER! COLE Oh, my! The experience of the New New Midnight Express really coming through here. The Sk8ter Boiz had fought a competive battle up until this point. You gotta believe their window of opportunity closed shut once the New New Midnight Express regain control of the match. COACH They never had a chance, Mikey. Quite frankly, The Coach is surprised they've lasted this long. So I'll give them props for that. Not mad props, but props nonetheless. And The Coach doesn't give props easily. ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! SHOULDER UP. Singleton lifts Mel up and slam-- NO, COUNTERED INTO A SMALL PACKAGE! ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! SIMON KICKS OUT! Narcissistic Ned enters. He and Simon stun Mel momentarily with a double-kick. They whip him to the ropes. DOUBLE-TEAM FLAPJA-- MEL TAKES THE NNMX OUT WITH A DDT! The Midnights had him up in the air, but Hell Mel hooked both their heads and DDT'd them. The buzz in the arena grows as Mel crawls to his corner, The Marv stretching out as far as he possibly can. Jim Cornette pounds the apron outside with both hands. Simon and Ned are just beginning to stir. Simon makes one last attempt to prevent Mel from making the tag, grabbing his leg, but Mel lunges forward and JUST BARELY grazes the tip of Marv's hand, the crowd ERUPTING as Nick Patrick claps both hands overhead, signaling a tag has been made. COLE There it is! The Marv coming in a house afire. Right hands for everybody. Down goes Simon. Down goes Ned. Jim--Jim Cornette's hopped on the apron. And he gets hammered with a right hand too! The Sk8ter Boiz jump on the top rope and wait for the New New Midnight Express to near them. Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned staggering around the ring. They turn around and look up. STEREO CROSS BODYBLOCKS! Marv on Simon, Mel on Ned. ONE... TWO... THREE! Crowd EXPLODES! * DING DING DING DING * COACH Oh, my God! COLE Sk8ter Boiz win! Sk8ter Boiz win! Sk8ter Boiz win! I don't believe it. Sk8ter Boiz win! Cornette brushes up against the apron, sobbing, his face bright red. The Marv and Hell Mel are jumping up and down in the ring, full of excitement. The cheers of the crowd turn into boos, as THE 70'S DUDE hits the ring and nails both Boiz with his tye-die X-TITLE! A 4-on-2 beat down ensures, with the New New Midnight Express and Jim Cornette joining the Dude in beating the Sk8ter Boiz. The crowd ROARS as THE SUPERSTAR JAMES ALLEN sprints to the ring with a STEEL CHAIR in hand. The heels immediately bail out. OAOAST officials meeting them halfway to the back, making sure this doesn't escalate any further. COLE HeldDOWN is out of control! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted May 13, 2005 COLE Welcome back, fans. Hey Coach, it's Benny the Bull again! He's coming over here! COACH HEY BENNY!! HI!! HI BENNY!!!! Benny walks over to the Sofa, and hands Coach a stuffed teddy bear in a Bulls T-shirt. COACH COLE Wow! Pretty cool, huh, Coach? COACH CABOOSE A special gift for our special little man. Benny pats Coach on the head, and walks off. COACH THANKS BENNY!!!! ~“Axelay Kick My Axe OC Remix” by Midee starts playing and as the lead guitar kicks in a man walks out onto the stage. He’s wearing a black luchadore mask with some designs on it, a shirt that reads “R.I.P. Chris Candido”, and black tights with blue text on the sides. One cannot help but notice a few scars on his arms. He calmly walks down to the ring, high fiving any fans who stick their hand out. The crowd remains quiet, unsure how to react to this stranger. He gets into the ring and gets a mike, then addresses the crowd.~ Mystery Man: Hello, everyone. My name is Otaku II. My late father was the original Otaku. I have come to the OAOAST from a now defunct wrestling organization that was once among the most prestigious out there, but due to legal reasons, I cannot mention its name. I consider myself to be a hard worker and a tough wrestler. I always fight clean and I never break the rules, but I am not just another squeaky clean up and comer. I fought in some of the most brutal matches imaginable when I started my career in wrestling over in Japan. ~At this point, this man we now know as Otaku II pulls off his shirt and reveals his scarred chest and back.~ Otaku II: I have survived barbed wire and I have survived fire and I have survived being in matches where C4 was strapped to wooden boards. I do not give in easily, and I always give matches my all. I will be making my wrestling debut in the OAOAST next week, and I hope that you all will be watching and will like the style I bring to the ring. See you all next Thursday. ~Otaku then puts down the mike, leaves the ring, and walks to the back.~ COLE Wow! A statement made by the man known as Otaku II! CABOOSE I like this guy. COACH You do? CABOOSE Well, more than you two. COLE You are just mean, Caboose! CABOOSE It's how I roll. The cameras again cut to Buffer as we prepare for our next match! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Chicago, Illinois... *cheap pop* BUFFER ...he weighs two hundred and thirty, Chicago-bred pounds... *cheap pop* BUFFER ...BRRRRRRRIIIAAAAAANN... GGRRRRRRRRAAAAAVVVEEESSSSSSSS!! *awkward silence* "YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" screams one lone fan in the front row. In the ring, the youthful looking Graves gives him a thumbs up. But the smile soon dissappears from the kid's face, as the strains of AC/DC's "Back In Black" kick in. Some of the crowd pop, simply for a bad-ass song...but the pops die out as the monstrous Bohemoth steps through the curtains, closely followed by Christian Wright. COLE Well, here come a couple of controversial figures. As if we didn't have enough of them around. Bohemoth stops on the stage, flexing 'TEH GUNZ~!' to applause from Wright. BUFFER And his opponent...accompanied to the ring by "The Natural" Christian Wright. From Greenville, South Carolina. He weighs two hundred and eighty four pounds... BOOOOOOO - HHHEEEEEMMOOOOOOOTTTTTHHHHHHH!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reaching the ring, Bohemoth leaps to the apron. The fear is evident on Graves' face as he looks across the ring at the fate awaiting him. Bo meanwhile enters the ring and gives a nod to Wright. CABOOSE This could be very quick and VERY painful. *DING DING DING!* The opening bell seems more like the dinner bell to Bohemoth, as he instantly charges Graves. Tackling him into a corner, Bo starts to club away on Graves, who desperatly covers up. The strikes still get through though, dazing Graves. Bo eventually grabs an arm, pulling Graves out of the corner and into a HIGH BAAAAACK~! body drop! COLE Oh MY! Graves must have been 7 or 8 HUNDRED feet in the air!! CABOOSE *sighs* A collective groan escapes the fans as Graves rolls underneath the bottom rope clutching his back. Before he can reach the floor though, Bohemoth grabs the kid by the ankle and pulls him back in. Graves tries to crawl away again, but Bo drops a BIG elbow across the ribs to stop him. Before dropping the elbow across the back of the head. Bohemoth looks emotionless as he then picks Graves up, scooping him up and dropping him across the top rope throat first! "LE - ON! LE - ON! LE - ON!" On the outside, Wright turns to the fans and yells at them to keep quiet. The chants don't bother Bohemoth though, as he drops a big leg across Graves' throat. Graves chokes and splutters for breath, causing referee Hebner to check on him. Bohemoth brushes him aside though, picking up Graves and whipping him into the turnbuckles. Out staggers Graves... *WHAM!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...INTO A STIFF, STIFF LARIAT!! COLE Oh my God! CABOOSE I told you. Very quick, very painful. With Graves out cold, Bohemoth pulls himself up, staring down at his motionless opponent. His head then turns to Christian Wright, who with a smile, gives the thumbs down. CABOOSE Uh-oh. Bo nods down to his buddy, before picking up Graves. "LE - ON!" Hooking an arm under his arm and head, Bohemoth scoops Graves up into his arms, carrying the two-thirty pounder in his arms with ease. "LE - ON!" Before swinging him around... "LE - ON!" ...out... "LE - ON!" ...AND DOWN!! COLE He calls that The Erotic Awakening Of B! I call that the end of Brian Graves. 1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING!* "Back In Black" hits again as Bohemoth pulls himself up and casually brushes off Graves' sweat from his shoulder. BUFFER Your winner... BOOOOO - HHHEEEMMMMOOOOTTTTHHHHHH!!! With a beaming smile on his face, Christian Wright rolls into the ring and pats his 'associate' on the back. Bo smiles back, before raising his arms skywards triumphantly. CABOOSE What an emphatic win. COLE And now we know why Christian Wright is so outspoken. With THAT man watching my back...even I'd be outspoken. And tha...HEY, wait a minute!! Suddenly, Da MC stops as Christian Wright pulls Brian Graves to his feet and looks on a front facelock. Already the boos are audible around the arena, as Wright sets Graves up for a vertical suplex. He gets Graves up about half way before stopping, holding Graves at 90 degrees for a second or two...before twisting to the side and SPIKING Graves on the top of his head!! The crowd let out a mixture of gasps and jeers as Wright stands over Graves, staring down at him, with a sick smile on his face. COLE What the hell was the meaning of that!?! CABBOSE I don't know...but I think we're going to find out. Caboose is dead on, as Wright demands a microphone from ringside. Standing over Graves and raising the mic to his lips, Wright has to pause... "LE - ON! LE - ON! LE - ON!" ...waiting for the chants to die down before continuing. WRIGHT Chant all you want...Leon isn't coming. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" WRIGHT You won't be seeing Leon Rodez for some considerable time. Which is for...your own good. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" WRIGHT Leon...I know you're watching. And I know that eventually, you will make your 'triumphant' return. Well...if tonight wasn't a clear enough message sent your way, as to what to expect when you do return...then I suggest you use some of your tainted, dirty money for good and order School's Out. Because, at School's Out...for you, school will be well and truly in. For I am issuing a challenge...to anyone who dares step up against me. I will have my first competitive OAOAST match at School's Out. And Leon, maybe THAT will get you to change your ways. Wright drops the mic and smiles a wry smile, as the crowd boo wildly. COLE An open challenge, issued by Christian Wright. Who's going to accept the challenge? COACH Not me. COLE Where'd you come from? COACH I dunno. Seems like one minute I'm here and one minute I ain't tonight! COLE Well don't YOU go anywhere, folks -- we'll be right back! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted May 13, 2005 The scene opens on Jay Richards pacing in front of an unmarked door, looking nervous. COLE Fans, we're back live here on HeldDOWN, and what is this Jay Richards doing in the building? COACH Pacing! COLE Well I don't think that-- Cole is cut off in mid-sentence by the door opening, and the lovely Josie Baker stepping out, accompanied by an aide. As the pair talk, Jay falls into step behind them. JOSIE Okay, so I need you to get all that cued up, before they decide to go on stage. And don't forget the new system. AIDE Right, ma'am. The aide turns down a hall, off to do her business. Josie smiles. JAY Ms. Baker! Josie looks back, then rolls her eyes as Richards steps into frame. JOSIE Mr. Richards. How lovely to see you. I thought I already told you we weren't interested? JAY Yeah, you did, but I'm here to ask you to reconsider. Josie stops, turning to face the would-be superstar. JOSIE Look, I've given you a lot of thought. Now, as I said, one day, you migh be a superstar. But I think it's just too soon! Now I can talk to the people at HI-YAH, give you a reference, but I-- JAY Wait, what about a tryout match? JOSIE ...I'm sorry? JAY Why don't you give me a tryout next week. You say I'm not good enough? Well let me show your people what I can do, and then decide. What do you have to lose? Josie thinks it over for a moment. JOSIE Well...I don't know if we'll have room on the show... JAY Come on, you can find the time! I mean, what if nobody had ever given K-Money his opportunity? Josie looks up sternly. JOSIE Listen, kid. Don't try to pretend that you know me. You don't know me, or Ken. Keep my family out of this. JAY I don't care about your family! All I want is a shot. Josie looks down, nodding to herself. JOSIE Fine. Next week you get one shot. But you had better impress me. Elation spreads over Jay's face as he shakes the GM's hand vigorously. JAY YES! Thank you, thank you so much, you won't regret it!! Jay walks down the hall, pumping his fist in the air as Josie turns and walks away. *cut to Triple C* COLE So Jay Richards is going to get his shot! CABOOSE Well, I hope for his sake he doesn't blow it. Although it would be funny. COLE Fans, a few weeks ago, we saw two young kids going by the name of the Birmingham Bad Boyz. With a 'Z'. Which instantly makes them better than those no Z losers like Black T and The Heavenly Rockers. If they were the 'Heavenly Rockerz' with a Z, it'd be a different story. Don't even get me started on the New, New Midnight Express...an X and no Z? What's wrong with the New, New Midnight Exprezz? And...uh...where was I? CABOOSE I don't know, but it was bloody intolerable. COLE ...oh well. Tag team action on the way, let's send it up to The Buff! Okay then. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Latin Amerrrrricaaa~! LLLLOOOOSSSS... COOOOONNQUUIIISSSSTADOOOOORRRRRSSSSSS!!! A mixed reaction goes up for the masked duo who raise their fists in the air. As they do, "Flip Reverse It" by The Blazin' Squad hits and the crowd boo the assault on their eardrums. Swaggering out through the curtains, The Birmingham Bad Boyz are already mouthing off to the nearest fans. COLE These two young kids don't seem to like Chicago. COACH COZ THEY'RE CHAVS, INNIT~! CABOOSE Failed Mascot's right, we do have too many commentators. COLE And that's a shoot, brutha. *poses for 7 minutes* COACH ONE MORE MATCH! ONE MORE MATCH! As they walk down the aisle, O'Hara grabs a beer from one of the fans and walks off, only for the one and only CARL WINSLOW~! (~!) to appear from nowhere and tackle him to the floor. Winslow quickly 'leaps' to his feet, pointing his gun at the fan who supplied a minor with alcohol, while O'Hara enters the ring. BUFFER And introducing the opponents. Making their OAOAST debut...the team of Jamie O'Hara and Ryan Burgess... THE BIRMINGHAM... BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADD BOOOOOOOOYYYYZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE See!?! See how much cooler the Z is!?! O'Hara and Burgess raise their arms in the air, only to get mercilessly booed. The two take offence and turn to the outside to argue with the fans. As they do, the taller of the two Conquistadors sneaks up behind Burgess and swipes his Burberry hat!! Burgess turns around in shock, as the Conquistador puts on the hat and WALKS LIKE A CHAV~! Which is only really funny if you know what that looks like, I guess. CABOOSE I thought we sent all the goofs to Japan. Pissed, Burgess fumes in the corner, waiting for the Conquistador to turn around...before WIPING him out with a clothesline!! *DING DING DING!* The bell rings as Burgess stomps away on the Conquistador, whilst O'Hara charges across the ring and bundles the second Conquistador out. Referee Charles Robinson quickly motions O'Hara back to his corner. Meanwhile, Burgess continues to stomp. And stomp. And stomp. And...retrieve his hat...before stomping the Conqistador below the belt. COLE That's Conquistador Dos in there. CABOOSE How do you know that!?! COLE Because it's either Uno and Dos. So Uno is on the floor. So that must be Dos. CABOOSE ...that didn't explain anything. Burgess grabs Dos...or Uno...or...grabs the Conquistador off the canvas, throwing him into a corner. Desperatly Dos tries to cover up, but Burgess starts throwin' hands and pounds Dos into a seated position. O'Hara shouts encouragement from the corner as Burgess backs up...and CANNONBALLS into the seated Dos! COACH STRAIGHT BALLIN', YO~! Getting to his feet, Burgess goes to make the tag. But O'Hara is busy arguing with a couple of 'gypos' in the front row. Robinson is distracted by this for some reason...which allows Uno to reach into the ring, pulling out the winded Dos and switching places with him! Some of the crowd cheer, the rest continue their march to the concession stands, as O'Hara finally tags in. Thinking he has a weakened Conquistador in the corner, O'Hara charges...BUT UNO GETS A FOOT UP TO BLOCK THE BRONCO BUSTER ATTEMPT!! O'Hara bounces away and holds his groin, as Burgess enters the ring. Uno rolls underneath a clothesline though, as Burgess hits the opposite ropes and runs into a standing dropkick! COLE Right on the button from Dos! CABOOSE I thought Uno was the one on the floor? COLE He is. CABOOSE Yeah... COLE So that must be Dos. CABOOSE But they switched a minute ago. COLE Did they? Oh, well, I couldn't tell. To be honest, I can't tell these Conquistadors apart. CABOOSE ... Back in the ring meanwhile, Uno has O'Hara backed against the ropes. Unloading with open handed strikes, Uno grabs an arm and whips O'Hara across...and hits a standing dropkick on him too! Uno dives into the cover... 1... 2.. Burgess breaks the count! Staggering away, Uno tries to get away from Burgess. But Crazee B catches up with him and clubs him with a forearm. And again. Irish whip by Burgess, but Uno baseball slides through, leaving Burgess wide open for Dos and a springboard...EYEPOKE!! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Robinson admonishes Dos, but the Latin American doesn't seem to understand him, assuming Robinson is saying 'poke him in the other eye'...which he does! "YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Waving frantically, Robinson finally gets his point across. And instead of poking Burgess in the eye, Dos stomps on his foot! Burgess howls and hops on his good foot as Uno and Dos link arms...but Burgess ducks a double clothesline. On run the Conquistadors, but Burgess ducks again. Suddenly, O'Hara runs into the picture and as the Conquistadors rebound again, they get KOed with stereo superkicks! COLE A superkick a-piece for Uno and Dos! Suddenly, the BBB are fired up and launch into attack, stomping the hell out of Los Conquistadors again. Burgess drops to his knees and starts to choke Dos, while O'Hara splits Uno's legs, dropping a knee south of the border. Literally. Referee Robinson seems lost as O'Hara grabs Uno again...and again drops a knee south of the border. Literally. Burgess meanwhile mounts Dos and pounds away with right hands. Robinson has finally had enough though and forgetting who the legal men are, grabs O'Hara and tries to restrain him... ...but gets nailed with a back elbow!! COLE Hey! He hit Lil' Naitch! CABOOSE Heh, he's never gonna live that debacle down, is he? As Robinson lays on the mat, O'Hara goes back to beating the crap out of the Conquistador. *DING DING DING!* COLE ...wait a minute...referee Robinson's calling for the bell here! Ignoring the bell, The Bad Boyz continue to mercilessly club away at the Conquistadors. Until that is, Michael Buffer walks over to the dazed Robinson and asks what the hell is going on. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...your winners of this match, as a result of a disqualification... LLOOOOOSSS... CONQUISTADORRRSSSSS!! "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!" COLE CONQUISTADORS WIN! CONQUISTADORS WIN! CABOOSE For jobbers, they've got a pretty good record, huh? Hearing the announcement, Burgess and O'hara turn their heads towards Buffer. Wisely though, The Buff sprints off and hurdles the guardrail for safety. Charles Robinson isn't so lucky though. The BBB advance on him and Robinson tries to scramble away. But Burgess catches an ankle, as does O'Hara. With a leg each, the BBB then roll out of the ring, dragging Robinson out and pulling him by the ankles, up the rampway, Robinson clawing and screaming all the way. But nobody seems that bothered about him. Especially Los Conquistadors, who are groggily celebrating their victory. COLE Well, there goes Charles. Let's hope they don't kill him. Or rape him. COACH Ew. CABOOSE Is that all you can say, ew? COACH No, it's not that. I just hate these blue M&Ms. Anyone want the rest? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted May 13, 2005 For some reason, we're now transported to the men's bathroom, where resident OAOAST development graduee James Blonde is setting a good example to the youth of america and washing his hands. What a guy. Visable in the stall nearest to him meanwhile are two, bare, Samoan feet. BLONDE So then I send "Crystal, baby, I don't mind you following me to the gym...I can cope with the all night sessions in the jacuzzi...I can cope with you bringing your friends over and engaging in rough, unbridled, passionate lovemaking with me...but I swear, if you leave your underwear in the back seat of my Merc one more time, then this might not work out." And that was that. True story. FAQU Sure. Suddenly, Blonde jumps as the bathroom door swings wide open...and to his surprise, the Birmingham Bad Boyz struggle through the door, dragging poor Charles Robinson behind them. Burgess and O'Hara let go of Robinson's heels, giving him a brief chance to escape. But he doesn't get far before they grab an arm each, dragging him into a spare stall... ROBINSON No...please, NO... *FLUSH!* ROBINSON Oh...oh, god! No...not again... *FLUSH!* ROBINSON Ugh...oh...the bleach... *FLUSH!* BLONDE HEY! Finally, after getting his hands suitably dry, Blonde jogs over to the stall and pulls the hapless referee to safety. The BBB emerge from the stall and glare at Blonde, who sets the drowned rat resembling Robinson underneath the hand dryer and casually turning it on. BLONDE What the hell is wrong with you two punks, eh? BURGESS Wot'z it goh'a'do with you, prick? BLONDE What's it got to do with me? I'll tell you kid. I'm OAOAST, through and through. I worked my ass off to become an OAOAST superstar and I respect this company too much to see two scrawny little chavs come in and cause havoc around here. BURGESS Up yours. O'HARA Oi, you wanna start sumthin!?! I'll break ya face mate! Blonde laughs off the threat. BLONDE It seems you two kids have some sort of...lack of respect for authority. Well, me and Faqu'll be more than happy to BEAT some respect into you, right here, in that ring, TONIGHT! The BBB turn to each other and nod, holding their arms out and encouraging Blonde to get the fight started early... *A - HEM!* ...before a cough from the stall interrupts them. FAQU James...I can't fight tonight. A little embarrassed, Blonde chuckles, before moving closer to the stall for a little 'private' chat. BLONDE Why not? FAQU I...uh...I've... BLONDE C'mon big man. This is our chance to get on the show! We can beat these two punks! FAQU Yeah, but... BLONDE What? FAQU ...I got taco shits. Blonde pauses for a moment. BLONDE You're Samoan though. FAQU Well, you know what they say..."When in Rome". BLONDE We're not in Rome. We're not in Mexico either. FAQU ...I got hungry. Sighing, Blonde turns away from the stall and back to the BBB, who are busy trying to steal from the condom machine. BLONDE Okay...next week. You two versus me and Faqu. And Charles... Blonde turns to the sopping wet ref, who looks up. BLONDE ...you're going to be the ref. Robinson's eyes burts open as the BBB look over and smile, O'Hara making a 'gun with his fingers and pointing it at Charles. Blonde spots them though and chases the BBB off, before sighing to himself. BLONDE Taco shits. Zack Damn It! The scene cuts to Sofa Central, and an ill-looking Triple C. COLE "Taco shits?" CABOOSE I think I'm going to be sick...again. COACH Man, I miss Benny. He would have made the bad, bad mental pictures go away. COLE All right, if we can try not to vomit here, we've got a HI-YAH tag title match to call! CABOOSE Bloody good. BUFFER The following contest is a four way tag team contest, set for one fall and is for the HI-YAH tag team championship! Cue: Generic tinkly Oriental music BUFFER Team number one, from Japan and representing HIYAH, at a total combined weight of 450lbs - Golden Cobra and White Tiger - they are the Ark of Violence! The two masked wrestlers, in gold and white, obviously, sprint down to the ring and slide in, before climbing the turnbuckles and looking out over the capacity crowd. COLE HIYAH tag titles on the line, right now! First out we have a team sent over by HI-YAH to showcase some of their homegrown talent. CABOOSE I hear these guys are pretty good. Couple of hard striking guys with stupid masks and names. Cue: "Hit Me Verdi One More Time" BUFFER From the Depths of Hell, combined weight 756lbs, JINGUS and the Sadist - HELLS HIT-MEN! COACH These monsters are former HIYAH champs and they want revenge on the current champs for taking the straps from them. CABOOSE Always a huge danger in any match. One big move from either of these guys can take you out. The Hitmen enter the ring and look curiously at their Japanese opponents, who don't back down. Cue: And the fans leap to their feet for TAFKA The Saints! BUFFER From Las Vegas, Nevada, total combined weight of 432lbs, Logan Mann and Synth Esizer - the Heavenly ROCKERRRRRRRS! Logan and Synth rock it down to the ring, wings and robes and all, Holly just behind them, pointing at her waist and telling the camera with a frown "Bout time my boys had some gold!" Finally, the rocking theme cuts to, er, another rocking theme, as Kiss plays the champs to the ring. BUFFER And from Chicago, Illinoise, total combined weight of 427lbs - Dr. Max Anderson - Dr. Steven Pigley - they are the reigning and defending HIYAH tag team champions - the LUUUUUUUUUURVE DOC-TORS! The crowd give the Docs a decent pop and reception, but its clear from the chants of: "HEAVENLY ROCK-ERS!" Clap clap, clap clap clap "HEAVENLY ROCK-ERS!" that the fans are firmly behind one team in this match. The Hitmen growl at the Docs as our referee, Billy The Ref (yes, he had his last name changed. That's how much he loves being a ref) keeps order. It's decided that Max Anderson will start for the Docs, with his opponent being Golden Cobra. COLE Only two men in the ring in this match, but the wrestlers can tag out to anyone. First pinfall or submission wins the titles. DQ or countout will end the match with no title change, so the challengers need to keep things within the rules. COACH That could be a problem. 8 men can get pretty wild together. COLE You're telling me! *DING DING DING* Max and Cobra lock up. Anderson goes to a wristlock, which Cobra counters to his own. Max rolls forward, grabs Cobra's arm and flips him over with a hip toss. Anderson works an armbar on the seated Cobra, who slowly gets to his feet. Anderson backs Cobra near the ropes, where Logan Mann slaps Golden Cobra on the back to tag himself in. Max releases the HIYA competitor and beckons Logan on. COLE First time meeting for the teams of the Docs and the Rockers. Lock up, and Logan gains the advantage by clamping on a side headlock. Anderson pushes him off to the ropes and then flattens himself to the mat. "Usher" leaps over Max and rebounds off the ropes on the opposite side. Anderson springs up to meet him and takes Logan over with an arm drag. Logan springs back to his feet as Max charges him and returns the favour with his own arm drag, and then a seated dropkick to the face as Dr. Anderson picks himself up! Max is propelled back into the Hitmen's corner, and as he gets to his feet JINGUS tags himself in via a punch to the back of Max's head. JINGUS beckons Logan to take him on. Mann runs the ropes and drives his body into the Devilman's with a shoulder block that has no effect. Another attempt also fails. JINGUS laughs menacingly and swings at Logan, who ducks and fires a few hard kicks into the leg of the monster. Logan runs the ropes again and this time clips the leg out, landing JINGUS onto his back. Mann brings JINGUS up in a headlock and backs into the Rocker's corner, where Synth tags himself in. The Rockers whip the Devilman to the ropes and connect with a double dropkick. COLE I feel like we should be saying something. CABOOSE No, nothing exciting happened yet. Let's keep quiet and pretend we're awed by the match. Synth brings JINGUS up as Billy The Ref "ushers" Logan out. Ha ha. The Devilman shakes off the effects of the dropkick and blocks Synth's attempted punches, then grabs the Heavenly Rocker and whips him all the way across the ring to the Hitmen's corner. JINGUS runs after him and squashes the Synthmeister with a huge avalanche. JINGUS stands aside to allow Synth to step forward and Flair flop to the mat, before tagging Sadist. Sadie climbs to the top rope, arena lights glinting on his bald head, as JINGUS lifts Synth onto his shoulders! Before Sadist can attack, Logan runs in and delivers a chopblock to the legs of the crouched Sadist! The pain loving warrior is propelled down to the floor. Synth flips back off the Devilman's shoulders, landing behind him and pushing him forward into a superkick from Logan! Synth rolls JINGUS up as he staggers back - ONE! TWO! Steve Pigley breaks it up! Pigley smiles and shrugs his shoulders as Logan glares at him. COACH The Heavenly Rockers can't expect an easy ride to victory here. Each of these teams will be on alert to break up any pinfall. COLE The best chance to win this match will come if anarchy descends and someone can sneak a quick pin. Synth brings JINGUS up, but they're close to the corner of the Ark of Violence, and White Tiger tags himself in to replace JINGUS. Tiger springs into the ring and flexes, beckoning Synth on. Synth looks amused, but they lock up. Tiger immediately shoves him off and lashes him hard with a knife edged chop, then a couple more that propel Synth to the ropes. Tiger grabs his arm and attempts an Irish whip, but the Synthmeister reverses it. As Tiger flys back, Synth catches him with a neat, hard impact powerslam into a cover: ONE! TWO! Tiger kicks out as both his partner and Max Anderson make to enter the ring. Synth picks Cobra up and applies a front facelock, looking for a snap suplex, but Cobra blocks it and then connects with a hard knee to the gut of Synth. Cobra then grabs the Rocker and drives him down hard with an STO. Cobra drags Synth across to the Ark of Violence corner and tags White Tiger, who immediately grabs Synth's arms behind him, looking for a Tiger Suplex, but Synth breaks out, getting a full nelson on White Tiger. Tiger drops to his knees, with Synth keeping the hold locked, but Tiger breaks out by flipping up, wrapping his legs round Synth's head and flipping him over with a modified head scissors. Both men spin to their feet, and charge. Tiger ducks Synth's lariat and jumps on his back in the crucifix position. Tiger tries to tug Synth over, once, twice, and on the third time succeeds, and with impact, as he flips Synth off his feet and crushes him into the mat with the Crucifix Bomb. Cover: ONE - and immediately broken up by Max Anderson, who ignores the pleading of Billy The Ref to hammer away at White Tiger. Anderson flips the stunned Tiger onto his shoulders and then runs across the ring, jumping forward and smashing Tiger to the canvas with the Air Raid Crash. Billy forces Max out. COLE The Love Doctors have hardly been a factor in this match so far; I think there's some frustration with them now. CABOOSE This is a big match for the Docs, no question. They need to win this and start to build their reputations once again. Everytime in this match wants the HIYAH titles, but ultimately, those OAOAST straps are their real goal, and to get them wins are needed. Synth brings Tiger up, but Tiger suddenly busts out a dropsault, and then rolls over to the nearest corner to tag out - and it happens to be to the freshly recovered Sadist. Sadie steps over the top rope and grabs Synth, who throws punches into the near 7 foot monsters gut that are totally ignore. Sadist wraps his hand around Synth's throat and tries for a chokeslam, but Logan runs and dropkicks Sadist in the chest, causing him to drop his grip. The Heavenly Rockers whip Sadist to the ropes, but he decimates them with a double arm lariat as he comes back. Sadist then casually military presses Logan and drops him out of the ring to the floor. The pain loving freak then turns to the rising Synth and nearly decapitates him with a running boot to the head. COACH Impressive power from the man known as the Sadist. He's never really reached his potential yet in the OAOAST. COLE He's one of the few hosses of this company, and that alone should guarantee him some title hold, if there was any justice in the world. Just like Cole's Bar should be syndicated across the world. COACH I hear last weeks episode, where Caboose beat you about the head with a cricket bat for 25 minutes, was your highest rated yet. CABOOSE I'm a star. And so is Mr Bashy, the bat. He'll be back in a few weeks on Cole's Bar. COLE In the ring, Sadist scrapes up Synth, who is badly in need of a tag, and grabs a full nelson. Sadist goes for the full nelson slam, but Synth rolls out and tags to Steve Pigley. The crowd pops as Pigley, in long electric blue tights, vaults into the ring and hammers on Sadist with forearms and chops. Dr. Steve grabs Sadist around the neck and runs to the corner, trying for a Sliced Bread #2 type move, but as his boots meet the top rope, Sadist just shoves him off and down to the floor, where Pigley hits hard on the guard rail! Seeing Pigley isn't moving, referee Billy The Ref allows a bending of the rules as Max Anderson leaps in to take his partners place, nailing Sadist with a springboard lariat as he turns back into the middle of the ring. Anderson waits for Sadist to rise, and then rolls him up a La Majistral: ONE! TWO! Kickout! Logan and Synth regroup in their corner, with Holly giving them a pep talk. The Ark of Violence is also itching to get back into the bout, as Max quickly climbs to the top rope in the empty Docs corner - but Sadist shows surprising speed in running up after him! Anderson and Sadist slug it out up top, until JINGUS runs into the ring and helps Sadist subdue Max. They grab him for a double team superplex - but the instead of falling into the ring, they just drop Max all the way down to the ring floor! Anderson connects with a terrible noise, and both Docs are down. COLE A horrible, Hellish move by the Hitmen! Both Docs hurt, and chances are we'll have new champs now. Billy The Ref makes JINGUS leave the ring, as Sadist goes out and grabs Max back into the ring. Cover - ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Golden Cobra breaks it up! Sadist, breathing heavily after a long spell in the ring, tags out to JINGUS. The Devilman brings Max up and flips him onto his shoulders in position for a Burning Hammer - but Anderson escapes behind JINGUS and dizzyly tags in Logan, who charges at JINGUS - and the monster sends him flying out over the top with a belly to belly throw! Synth immediately runs over to check on his partner, as both Cobra and Tiger charge in and attack JINGUS. Sadist runs in the aid his partner, as Billy The Ref looses control. Sadist grabs Cobra and drills him with a chokeslam, as Tiger nails JINGUS with an enziguiri. Cobra and JINGUS rolls out as Sadist charges Tiger, who backs off, pulls down the top rope and allows Sadist to fly out to the floor. Tiger sees the mass of bodies on the floor and turns to run the ropes to leap onto them - but runs right into Dr. Steve Pigley, who kicks him in the gut and delivers the Time of Death (Michinoku Driver)! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* "Calling Dr. Love" plays, as Pigley rolls out of the ring and unites with Max on the floor, leaving the rest of the wrestlers in shock at the sudden victory. COLE Out of nowhere, Steve Pigley hits his big move to pin White Tiger! Docs retain! CABOOSE That match was being dominated by the Hitmen, but the Docs put one over on them once again, and they survive this tough bout. In the ring, Billy The Ref realises that while Pigley never technically tagged out, White Tiger was nowhere close to being a legal man, and he sobs quietly to himself. As the Hitmen and Ark of Violence depart, The Heavenly Rockers gaze in surprise at the celebrating Doctors of Love - and don't see two men run out from the back. They don't see two men knock them to the floor with hard chair shots to the back, but they probably do feel it. The Frankensteiners laugh (and bark) over their fallen foes, as Holly tries vainly to ward them off. Frankie pushes Holly down, grabs Synth up and gives him a german suplex onto the ramp. COLE This rivalry between the Frankensteiners and the Rockers erupts yet again! A rush of security runs down to pull the Frankies away from the Heavenly Rockers. Frank spills a flood of obscenities at everyone in his vicinity. COACH Things are really getting out of hand between these two teams. They have to settle this. COLE And away we go to something else! Backstage, CWM is taping his fists up when he suddenly feels the presence of someone else by him. He lifts his head and looks to his left, and the camera pans over to see SOME GUY standing by him! SOME GUY Evening. CWM What? SOME GUY Heard you're "stepping up for the company" tonight, hmm? CWM Kids need to learn, who better to teach 'em? SOME GUY Hmm, well, how about someone without their own agenda? CWM What are you saying? SOME GUY What I'm saying is that me, Zack...even Dan and Tony, have a right to go after those kids for what they did last week. Now you might be with Black and Brannigan, you've got that whole stable thing going on and that's cool...but where do YOU fit in to all of this? CWM I... Before he can answer, CWM is interrupted by Black T, who approach slowly, wondering what Some Guy is doing with their associate. TONY Can we help you? SOME GUY As a matter of fact, you can. See, this concerns what went down last week with the GPX. BLACK It's taken care of. SOME GUY Excuse me? BLACK I said it's taken care of. You didn't think Tony and I were gonna let those teenyboppers get away with what they did now did you? SOME GUY So what's your plan? BLACK Who are you, my best friend all of a sudden? Look, all you need to know is that come School's Out, those boys are gonna be "Old Schooled" as they'd say by Tony and myself, one more time. SOME GUY Wait...you've got a match with them at the pay per view? BLACK Yeah. I mean, yeah I know we've kicked their asses time and time ag... Dan stops in mid sentence, and the camera pans over again to ZACK MALIBU, which draws a pop from the crowd watching his on the Angletron. MALIBU Gentlemen. None of the Original Elite respond. MALIBU Nice to see you too. Hey, SG, did you fill these boys in on what's going down? TONY No. MALIBU Well, see, as nice as it is for CWM to stick up for all of us, I'm hoping that you save a piece of the GPX for School's Out. BLACK Heh, too late Malibu, we've already gone over that, and at School's Out, WE'VE got the GPX. MALIBU I know you do. TONY OK, no games Zack. What are you getting at? MALIBU No games at all, T-Bod. At School's Out, it's true...you DO have the GPX. But you have us too. The crowd roars, Black and Brannigan seem to know where this is going, and are not happy. MALIBU C'mon boys, do the math. Three teams, bad blood running amongst them all, so what better way to solve things than with a THREE WAY DANCE? BLACK WHAT? No way...you can have the leftovers, IF there are any. MALIBU Look, none of us get along, that's a fact. It's also a fact that you guys and the GPX go way back, and there's a lot more hostility there. But what they did last week, they did to ALL of us, and judging by their words, it's gonna keep happening unless we cut it short ASAP. TONY So what, you want a marriage of convienience or something? "Banding together for the common good?" Please Zack, even being back in goody two shoes mode you can't be THAT stupid. SOME GUY Look, the three way dance is as much for our hatred of you as it is them. All of us can kill two birds with one stone. You guys could get us and them out of the way. Me and Zack can get revenge two fold, or the GPX can eliminate four of the longest reigning OAOAST stars. There's a lot at stake. CWM Yeah well, we'll see how well they do after tonight. Static's mine. MALIBU Fair enough...but we'll be sticking around, you know, just in case you boys need some help. With that, Malibu and Some Guy exit the scene, and The Original Elite mutter words too hot for television under their breath. COLE CWM vs. Scotty Static! NEXT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted May 13, 2005 "In a world full of poser, phonies, and pure wannabes..." BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! For the first time ever, the introduction to O-Town's "Make Her Say" draws boos from the fans of OAOAST wrestling, as HeldDOWN~! comes back from commercial and gets right back into the swing of things with what promises to be a most interesting matchup. Scotty Static and Johnny Jackson come out from the back, their usual jovial bopping and fan interaction replaced by cocky, full of themselves smirks. While Jackson is still clad in street gear, Static is decked out in new baggy cargo tights and a tight, sleeveless shirt. The two young superstars hit the ring, and when they hit their prematch taunt and pose, they act shocked at the fan response. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle, accompanied by Johnny "Jam" Jackson, he hails from HOTlanta, GA. Weighing in tonight at 192lbs., this is SCOTTTTTTEEEEE STAAAAAATIIIIIIIC! COLE Two great athletes for sure, but what a change in attitude for the GPX lately. After going AWOL for a few weeks, they returned with a vengeance...literally...last week at the end of our program. CABOOSE We've seen these guys all over the show tonight, and they're not meshing well backstage with anyone, with the exception of Crystal, who seemed to enjoy what they did. These guys are making a big mistake by demanding respect from the Originals, rather than earning it. COACH If you ask them, they say they earned it last week when they punked your boys and Black T out. CABOOSE It took some balls to go out there and pound on four guys...four of the top guys in the world today. It takes an even greater man to do it face to face. Right now the GPX are looking for the low road, and if they're not careful, they're gonna crash and burn. Static and Jackson give each other daps, and Jackson ducks through the ropes and positions himself at ringside, while Nirvana's "You Know You're Right" hits, and rather than the usual backlash upon hearing the song, a more mixed reaction welcomes one of the OAOAST's original superstars. COLE Love him or hate him, he's got that company pride flowing through his veins...look out Scotty Static! Buffer can't even belt out the intro, as CWM has charged the ring, prompting Static to slide out to the floor and avoid the oncoming assault! The angered veteran superstar stalks the ring, urging Static to get back in the ring, but Static and Jackson don't like the look in the eyes of CWM, and start to retreat from ringside, back up the aisleway! CABOOSE There's an example of what I said earlier! They aren't capable of taking their frustations out face to face! Static and Jackson back up, eyeing CWM and mockingly waving "bye bye" to him...until "Quiet" hits and the crowd EXPLODES!?!?!? COLE Well, I never thought I'd see the day. Tony Brannigan and Dan Black come out to the shockingly warm reception, due to the newfound disliking of the Global Party Exchange. Static and Jackson's jaws drop when they turn to see their old rivals come down the aisle slowly, forcing them back towards ringside...and CWM slides out of the ring and takes Static, rolling him into the ring to get the match going! DING! DING! Mike Chioda calls for the bell, and immediately Static begs off, backing into a corner and calling for CWM's forgiveness. CWM moves in closer, and Static bursts forward, raking the eyes, then charges out...only to get bieled across the ring with a hiptoss from CWM! Static gets up, only to get sent back to the canvas with a running lariat! CWM pulls him up and backs him into the ropes, whipping him to the other side...but Scotty reverses it, sending CWM for the ride! He drops his head, looking to toss CWM over his back, but CWM puts on the brakes, kicks his head up, then grabs him for a POLLYCUTTER...NO! CWM gets shoved into the ropes, and Static busts out a huracanrana to take him over! Both men get up quickly, and Static hits a running knee into CWM's stomach to double him over, then hits the ropes again...only to be caught trying whatever he was about to try and driven down onto his back with a Boss Man Slam! CWM tries for a pin, but Static quickly does a logroll out of the ring and into the waiting arms of his partner, avoiding any further contact with the Original Elite member. COLE These guys are working a complete 180 from their usual style. We're used to fast paced starts and all out aerial assaults from these two, and now it looks like Static would rather be anywhere else than in that ring! COACH Would YOU wanna be in the ring with an angry CWM? Static is consoled by Jackson, who snaps at Chioda when he sticks his head through the ropes to tell Scotty to return to the ring. Jackson mouths off, saying "give him a minute", but a minute is too long, as Chioda instead chooses to give him until the count of ten! Chioda gets as far as two, and the crowd suddenly starts CHANTING three familiar initials, although instead of GPX, it's CWM! CABOOSE This is surreal. Even I find myself rooting for the bastard tonight. Static stomps his feet in anger, and Jackson covers his ears. Frustrated by the crowd's choice of favorite, Static throws his partners hands off his ears and slides back into the ring, getting to his feet and calling CWM on! CWM rushes forward, but immediately Scotty backsteps towards the ropes, sticking his upper body through the ropes so that CWM can't get him and has to be backed away by Chioda. Static, seeing the ref back his opponent up, then comes over and lunges over the ref's shoulders, drilling CWM in the cheek with a sucker shot! CWM, never one to take any shit, tosses Chioda aside and moves for Static, who tries to back away...then falls facefirst on the ringmat, as Tony Brannigan reaches in and pulls his foot out from under him! The crowd actually cheers the heelish tactic, and cheer even further when CWM takes Scotty by the frosted tips of his hair and tugs on it, bringing him up as he smashes a fist into his temple. Scotty reels back against the ropes and CWM unloads with two chops, cracking the sternum of the young superstar. Static then gets sent to the far side, rebounding back towards CWM with a head of steam, only to get elevated up in the air and come crashing down hard via back bodydrop! Static is hurting, and the hurt continues, as CWM pulls him up and stuns him with an atomic drop, then runs the ropes and comes right at Static, hitting him with a lariat that spins him inside out! CWM then lays him flat and hits the ropes, coming off with a huge legdrop, and goes for the cover on the former OAOAST Tag Team Champion! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE This match has been all CWM, and if it continues at that rate, the GPX may not make it to School's Out! COACH Static's being schooled right now though. Holla! CWM picks Scotty up, but Static shoves him away, into the corner. Scotty then charges in, eating boot when he does, and CWM hops up onto the middle turnbuckle, leaping off and grabbing Static's head, bringing it down with a bull...NO! Scotty slips his head out of the grasp of the OAOAST icon and lets him land hard on the canvas! CWM sits up, but Static leaps over his body, snapping his neck forward with a rolling snapmare, then turns around and blasts CWM in the chin with a basement dropkick! Static then ducks out of the ring, but this time it's not out of cowardice...he's decided to climb the ropes. He readies himself on the top turnbuckle, waiting for the right moment to strike...and leaps off, soaring down upon CWM with a graceful bodypress that would make Ricky Steamboat proud...ONLY CWM ROLLS THROUGH WITH IT! ONE! TWO! Static kicks out, but Jackson was ready to slide into the ring if he had to, and Chioda caught it. He runs over to make sure Johnny Jax stays put, and when CWM brings Scotty up, he's struck with a low blow! Dan Black jumps on the apron and tries to come in, but Chioda has turned around and sees this, rushing over to make sure HE doesn't interfere...which leaves an opening for the GPX, as Jackson springboards off the ropes and comes down at CWM, spiking him with a springboard DDT! He rolls out of the ring just before Chioda turns around, but now Tony Brannigan is giving chase to Jackson on the floor! Johnny rounds the other corner, trying to escape...but Dan Black is coming at him from THAT side! COLE They've got him trapped! Jackson, with nowhere to turn, quickly slides into the ring and right through his own partners legs, crawling out to the floor on the other side! Static sees both Black and Brannigan coming in after Jackson, and HE bails out on the match, as the GPX know that The Original Elite is out for blood. Tony helps CWM up, and the three of them stare at the GPX, calling them back out to finish the match, but Jackson and Static continue to retreat up the aisleway... CUE:"Getting Away With Murder" CABOOSE Haha, better luck next time GPX...your asses are about to be handed to you! The fans roar, and the faces of Static and Jackson drop, as from the back, Zack Malibu and Some Guy come racing out! Malibu takes Jackson, while Some Guy takes Static, and they both forcefully bring them down to the ring, rolling them in at the feet of the Original Elite! Zack and Some Guy then climb in as well, and five of the OAOAST's longest reigning stars stand over the cocky upstarts... ...then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE! Malibu and Some Guy trade off on Jackson, ping-ponging him around with punches. Static is led to his feet by Dan Black, and he and Tony prop him up so that CWM can run the ropes and wipe him out with a diving clothesline, a modified Hart Attack! Dan Black starts putting the boots to Static, while CWM moves towards Some Guy, Zack and Jackson...and spins Some Guy around and blasts him with a Pollycutter! COLE What the... CABOOSE Bad blood never dies, Cole! CWM takes out Some Guy, so now Malibu dives for his legs, taking him down and pummeling him until he's grabbed by Dan Black...and then THOSE two start going at it! The feud between The Original Elite and Zack Malibu and Some Guy continues on...and it allows the Global Party Exchange to make an escape! COACH They're getting out of there! COLE Can you blame them! What a mess this is! Referees, trainers, road agents, hell, even a popcorn vendor rush the ring to break up the scuffle between the two other teams. Everyone is seperated and pulled apart after some slight struggling, but it's not that that pisses them all off. It's the sight of Johnny Jackson and Scotty Static pointing and laughing at them from the ramp. CABOOSE As much as I hate to say it, if these kids are gonna learn anything, then Black T, Zack, and SG are going to have to put more of a focus on settling their score with the GPX, rather than letting these old issues burn. COLE Easier said than done, Caboose. GPX have picked a prime time to strike, knowing that the feud is hot between Black T, CWM, Some Guy and Zack. You can surely attest to that. CABOOSE They picked the right time to strike, but they picked the wrong people TO strike. With those words, the scene closes with the ring clearing of everyone and GPX quickly disappearing behind the curtain, knowing that soon enough, they'll feel the wrath of Black T, Zack Malibu, and Some Guy. COLE Well, fans, it's been a wild night so far, and we hope that you can join us and all the action when the OAOAST comes LIVE to your hometown! COACH HOLLA~! VOICE-OVER GUY There's nothing like the thrill of seeing the OAOAST superstars LIVE! A shot airs of the GPX doing cool aerial moves, flippy stuff. Another shot of Zack Malibu kicking someone's teeth in. V-O Next week, HeldDOWN comes LIVE to Indianapolis! A shot of Leon Rodez posing with the X-Title airs, followed by a shot of Hoff on the top rope, then a shot of Gunner Sharps' entrance in his big orange jumpsuit. V-O Next weekend we stop in Cincinatti and Columbus, Ohio! A shot of Axel flashing the crucifix pose, and Black T giving some poor soul the Black Body Bag. Then a shot of CWM laying down a Pollycutter. Ouch! V-O And in two weeks, HeldDOWN comes to Cleveland! The HD logo flashes again. V-O Experience it all, live and in person! Call Ticketmaster for tickets...today! *Boogieman fills the arena, which as always leads to the entrance of The 70s Dude. As he walks out from behind the curtain the crowd boos and a small "Superstar" chant tries to break through between both the boos and music.* Caboose: I know its been awhile since Chicago has seen one, but this is no way to treat a champion. *The 70s Dude ignores the fans and makes his way down the aisle and into the ring. The music dies down and The Dude motions for somebody to hand him the stick.* The 70s Dude: Last week, James "Superstar" Allen vs Sarcastic Simon with a shot at my gold on the line. An important match ruined by The Sk8ter Boiz interfering and costing Simon the match. *The crowd boos the statement remembering all too well what really happened last week. As they boo Benny the Bull makes his way down to the ring with a big Chicago Bulls brand sack full of goodies. The Dude ignores him as he passes out T-shirts and caps.* The 70s Dude: So Allen, you got your shot even if you didn't really earn it. The Dude aint about to back out of a war he has a shot at winning like Tricky Dick did with Vietnam. *The fans boo further but the front row even more-so as Benny the Bull is handing out Washington Wizards gear* The Dude: So at School's Out you're gonna see The Dude put the X back into eXtreme... *a strange look now comes across The Dude's face as Benny the Bull is in the ring, attempting to hand him a Wizards Round 2 T-shirt. The Dude snatches the shirt and shoves Benny down! The Dude yells at a security guy about the situation, when suddenly Benny pulls a set of nunchucks out of his costume and attacks the Dude with them!* COLE What the hell is this??? Benny the Bull, the Chicago Bulls mascot, has attacked The 70's Dude! *Benny then pulls the head off his costume to reveal...* COLE What the hell??? IT'S ALFDOGG!!! Alf has been masquerading as Benny the Bull all night, and now he's laid out The 70's Dude! What the hell is going on here??? ALF I told you all last week, that I was going to get my title shot. And now, I've got it! Me and The 70's Dude next week, for the OAOAST X Title! Get used to this picture, because it's gonna be seen a lot after next week! *"The Wall" by Kansas hits as Alf poses over The Dude with the X-Title belt.* COLE What a match in store for next week! It's Alfdogg challenging The 70's Dude for the OAOAST X Title, RIGHT HERE, next week on HeldDOWN! But up next...are you ready? CABOOSE You know it! COLE It's time for our main event: Gunner Sharps and Crystal taking on Hoff and Axel. Don't go anywhere, 'cause it is NEXT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted May 13, 2005 COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we have come to our main even this evening: Hoff and Axel versus Crystal and Gunner Sharps. Let's take you through how this one came to be. COACH Well, it all started earlier this evening, when Hoff had a different partner, Igor Stoyanovich! COLE Hoff and Igor were set to take on Crystal and Gunner, but our general manager Josie decided the match needed a special guest referee -- Axel! CABOOSE Right, and to no one's surprise Axel screwed Crystal and Gunner. COLE Axel may or may not have been responsible for Igor getting a quick three-count on the Female Phenom. Either way, the decision left the dastardly duo enraged, and in their anger they challenged Hoff and Axel to the match those two wanted all along! COACH Right, but there's a catch to this one. Whichever team loses, next week, has to fight each other! COLE The stakes are high. The emotions are high. A lot on the line, and it happens...right now! *ding ding ding* FINK The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Howard Finkel stands in the ring with a microphone. The house lights go down as Muse's "Plug in Baby" echoes over the arena speakers. The fans boo as the hated duo of Gunner Sharps and the Crown Jewel, Crystal, make their way down the aisle. FINK Making their way down the aisle, at a combined weight of 525 pounds, the team of CRYSTAL and GUNNER SHARPS!!!! Crystal and Gunner largely ignore the jeering fans as they talk strategy on their way to the ring. One fan reaches out to poke Gunner with a posterboard sign, and Gunner grabs the kid's sign and rips it in half. Gunner laughs as he and Crystal hit the ring. Gunner climbs a corner and throws both arms into the air, while Crystal looks out over the fans arrogantly, smirking. COLE Not a popular duo. Crystal's theme dies down, replaced by Chevelle's "The Clincher" toa MONSTROUS reaction! FINK And their opponents! First, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 275 pounds.......HOFF!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! Fireworks explode as Hoff steps out to a standing ovation. Hoff stands on the top of the ramp, looking out over the fans, then throwing a fist into the air! Hoff lets our a roar, driving the fans into a frenzy, before heading halfway down the aisle...and stopping, shaking his head. Hoff smirks at his foes, then turns his head back and ponts to the entranceway.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! COLE Wow! FINK And his partner, from Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, weighing in at 255 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World....AX-EL!! "Eat You Alive" plays as the champ enters the arena to an ENORMOUS reaction, the fans cheering their lungs out. Ominous in his long trenchcoat, Axel looks left, looks right, and... BOOM! hits the crucifix pose to another round of cheers. Hoff smiles, nodding, and Axel meets him on the ramp, before the two charge the ring! Gunner and Crystal stand in their corner, patiently, as the two fan favorites slide in the ring. The each hit a near corner, Hoff standng on the second and thrid ropes and thowing a fist into the air, Axel unstrapping the OAOAST World Title and holding it high overhead. The flashbulbs fire until the heroes hop off the corners, meeting referee Mike Chioda in the center of the ring. Axel hands Chioda his title belt, as the official calls Crystal and Gunner to him to go over the rules. COLE These two teams have very bad blood. Neither Hoff nor Axel like Crystal or Gunner. The same holds true going the opposite direction. There's a lot of history in that ring. Axel and Crystal need no explanation. Axel and Gunner were former best friends, driven apart by a woman. Hoff beat Crystal to win his first OAOAST Title. Crystal beat Hoff last month to win her shot at that title. Hoff and Gunner have never, ever, ever liked each other. Coming up together in the Underground. Hoff breaking the back of AJ Flaire, the fourth man of the once proud Bleeding Souls. The other three stand in that ring, ready to war. COACH Good speech, Mikey! CABOOSE Surprisingly so. COLE Thank you. Chioda finishes his explanations and sends the combatants to their corners. He hands the World Title to the timekeeper, and calls for the bell! *ding ding ding* Axel and Gunner step onto their respective corners, leaving Hoff and Crystal in the ring. The two technically-savvy grapplers circle, looking for a weakness. COLE So we start off with a rematch from Living Anglelously, and you have to ask, after all the wars Hoff and Crystal have had, how well do they know each other? CABOOSE Very well, I'm sure. Don't forget, in addition to their singles bouts, these two have been on opposite sides in many tag teams, for years now. They know each other's styles, and it's now simply a game of looking for an opening, looking for the other to make a mistake. Now, my money says that'll be Hoff. Hoff darts in to grab Crystal for a lock-up, but the Female Phenom skirts away. Crystal and Hoff circle, then finally come together in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Hoff pushes Crystal back a step, but Crystal quickly twists her body, tripping Hoff with a modified drop toe hold. Hoff hits the mat, and Crystal quickly applies a hammerlock! Hoff pounds his fist on the mat in frustration, but Crystal stops any momentum he might have with a well-placed knee to the back. Hoff, though, is able to fight up to his feet! Crystal torques Hoff's arm with the hammerlock, but the fans cheer as Hoff throws a back elbow to Crystal's face, dazing her! Hoff turns his body through the hammerlock, escaping, and he takes Crystal down with a drop toe hold of his own! Crystal hits the mat, and Hoff quickly applies his own hammerlock! The fans applaud the sequence. COLE Solid mat wrestling, which is what we have come to expect from these two. Crystal tries to twist out of the hold while on the mat, but Hoff copies her tactic from earlier and drives his big knee into the small of her back. Crystal, though, is able to fight up while still in the hold. Crystal gets to her feet...and Hoff grabs her head from behind and the fans get to their feet!! Hoff shouts "THIS IS IT!" and reaches down to lift Crystal up... COLE FUTURE SHOCK! CABOOSE NO! Crystal, though, stops Hoff's attempt by punching him in the head. Crystal, still in Hoff's grasp, twists so that she's facing Hoff, and drops him with a double-leg takedown...and tries to turn him over!! COLE CRYSTALLING!! Crystal struggles with Hoff's legs...but the big man kicks her away! The fans cheer as Crystal staggers back. Hoff rolls to his knees, then hits his feet as Crystal charges at him...and takes her DOWN with a headlock takeover!! Crystal lands hard on the mat, and Hoff keeps the side headlock applied, cinching in to the cheers of the fans. COLE Both Hoff and Crystal tried to end it early, but neither one could hit their move! CABOOSE Now it's back to basics. Crystal somersaults backwards in an impressive display, rolling through and out of the headlock by Hoff. Crystal lands on her knees, and gets to her feet before Hoff. Hoff gets up, and Crystal meets him with a kick to the midsection. Hoff doubles over, and Crystal darts behind him, hooking him in a rear waistlock! Crystal tries to throw Hoff over for a German suplex, but the big man blocks the move, hooking his boot around Crystal's calf! Hoff breaks Crystal's grip and pulls a standng switch, but Crystal kicks her legs up behind her and rolls forward, hooking Hoff in a modified victory roll! Chioda counts, but Hoff breaks free at two! Both competitors roll to their feet! Hoff charges forward, throwing a vicious lariat, but Crystal ducks under the move! Hoff turns to face her, and eats a BEAUTIFUL spinning wheel kick! Hoff hits the mat, and the Crown Jewel quickly makes the tag to Gunner Sharps. CABOOSE Oh, here we go. Yeah, baby, yeah. COACH Shagadelic, Caboose! CABOOSE Quiet. The fans let Gunner have it as he steps over the top rope and into the ring, looking cocky and confident as Hoff gets back to his feet. Gunner pulls his rival up the rest of the way, and nails him with a big fist to the forehead. Hoff reels, and Gunner grabs him, whipping him into the ropes! Hoff comes bounding off...right into a BIG BOOT! Hoff crumples to the canvas, and Gunner kicks him onto his back and places a boot on Hoff's chest. Chioda counts, but Hoff rolls away at two. COLE Gunner Sharps is awfully arrogant for a man who got BEAT by Hoff only a month ago! CABOOSE The past, Cole, all the past. Gunner laughs as he stalks over to Hoff, picking the fan favorite up off the mat and violently whipping him into the corner. Hoff hits with a sick thud, and Gunner charges in, but Hoff grabs the top rope and kicks both his feet up into the air! Gunner runs smack into BOTH of Hoff's boots, and reels back, grabbing his face. The fans cheer as Hoff comes stomping out of the corner, spinning Gunner around and grabbing him by the legs. Hoff lifts Gunner up, and drops him groin-first across his knee with an inverted atomic drop! Gunner forgets about his face, grabbing his crotch in bug-eyed pain. With an angry look, Hoff rears back and FLOORS gunner with a HUGE standing lariat. Gunner hits the mat, and Hoff looks out over the crowd with a smile...before tagging in Axel!! COLE Here comes the champ! The fans cheer as Axel steps into the ring! Hoff heads to the apron as Axel stalks his prey, waiting for the groggy Gunner to find his feet. Gunner gets up, and Axel whips him off the ropes, then leaps HIGH into the air and catches Gunner with a nice Harlem Sidekick! Gunner hits the mat, and Axel makes a quick cover...but Gunner gets out at two! COACH Gunner's taking some punishment. He needs a tag! COLE You have to remember, even though Gunner and Crystal are allied, they're not used to teaming together. Axel pulls his former friend up, and rocks him with a big right hand. Axel throws another, and Gunner reels. Axel throws a third, but Gunner blocks it and drives a knee into Axel's ribs! The fans boo as Gunner grabs Axel, scoops him, and lifts him WAY up high before bodyslamming him to the mat! Axel's back arches as the champ reels in pain. Gunner lets Axel feel it for a bit, then reaches down with both hands and pulls Axel up by the hair. Chioda warns the seven-footer, but Gunner ignores the official. Gunner scoops Axel again, and this time drops him rib-first across his knee! Axel falls to the mat, holding his midsection as Gunner laughs...and Crystal calls for the tag. COLE Oh, sure now that Axel is hurting she wants in. If he was fresh, she wouldn't want any part of him! CABOOSE Nah, Crystal's wanted in all along. She can't wait to get her hands on Axel! COLE Yeah, right. Gunner grabs Axel again by the hair, prompting a sterner warning from referee Chioda. Gunner pushes him away, then tags Crystal into the match. Gunner grabs Axel's arm and lifts it, exposing his midsection, and Crystal snaps off a sharp kick to the ribs. Axel audibly groans in pain as he falls to his hands and knees, prompting a round of boos from the audience. COACH Looks like Gunner and Crystal have a strategy! Crystal walks around the fallen Axel, laughing. Axel gets to one kee, and Crystal puts her hand on his shoulder, leaning over and taunting her former beau. Crystal, six inches from his face, blows Axel a kiss..and Axel NAILS her with a big right hand! COLE Whoa! The fans come to life as Axel borrows a page from his teammate's playbook, hammering away at Crystal with vicious right hands! Crystal tries to block, throwing her hands up, but Axel pours on the punishment, driving Crystal into the ropes! Axel whips Crystal off the strands, Crystal comes running off the far side, but the Female Phenom leaps onto Axel's shoulders! Crystal takes Axel over with a-- NO! Axel holds on, and drops Crystal with a sit-out powerbomb! Axel keeps Crystal hooked and Chioda starts his count! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! Crystal kicks Axel in the head and breaks free, rolling away. Axel gets to his feet and styomps toward Crystal, who scurries backwards to a neutral corner. Axel follows her in, but Crystal stops him with a boot to the midsection! Axel doubles, and Crystal steps out of the corner...and Axel BLASTS her with a big uppercut blow! Crystal slumps into the corner, and Axel lifts her onto the second strand! COLE Looks like Axel's going to elevate this match with something high-risk! Axel follows Crystal up, climbing to the second rope. Axel lifts Crystal up to the top rope, but Crystal regains her senses and STINGS him with a knife-edge chop! Axel reels, and Crystal pushes him off the ropes! Axel lands on his back, and Crystal steadies herself on the top! CABOOSE Crystal turning the tables on Axel! That's why it's called a high-risk maneuver! Axel slowly gets to his feet, and Crystal dives off the top with a missile dropkick! Crystal catches Axel square in the jaw, sending him to the mat! Crystal lands and crawls over to Axel, hooking his leg! Chioda counts! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Axel barely gets the shoulder up! COACH Now it's Axel who needs a tag! Hoff reaches over the ropes, stretching his arm out, but it's no use as Crystal pulls him over to their corner. Crystal reaches out, and tags in her confidant, Gunner Sharps. Gunner laughs arrogantly as he trades places with the Crown Jewel, laying in a few stomps to Axel. "AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL!" Gunner shoots a glare at Hoff, who is slapping the turnbuckle and waving the fans up. The crowd pours on the noise, trying to will Axel back into it, but Gunner quelches that by picking Axel up, kicking him in the ribs, and lifting him up for a gutwrench suplex...then dropping him across his knee! COACH DAYUM~! COLE An innovative maneuver by the huge Gunner Sharps! Cover! Gunner does make the cover, but the World Champion kicks out at two. Gunner gets up slowly, pondering his next move as Axel lies on the mat in pain. Gunner paces around his old friend, looking partially angry, partially in thought. COACH Gunner always seems so pissed off! CABOOSE I love it. Finally, Gunner picks Axel up off the mat, then scoops him and sets the champion upon his shoulder. Gunner walks to a neutral corner, and with a yell charges forward...but Axel slides off of his shoulder! Axel lands behind Gunner and pushes him into the corner! The fans cheer as Gunner hits the buckle chest-first and staggers backward...right into a fireman's carry!! The fans come ALIVE! Using all his strength, Axel hoists Gunner on his shoulders...but Gunner slips off! Gunner lands on the mat, and rolls to the outside! Axel heads to his corner and reaches out to tag-- NO! Gunner YANKS Hoff off the apron! The fans get irate as Hoff's jaw hits the edge of the ring, and the big man falls to the outside. Gunner smiles...until Axel slides out of the ring!! The fans go crazy as Axel spins Gunner around and BLASTS him with a big right hand! Axel starts pounding away at Gunner, driving him to the guardrail! Chioda slides out of the ring, trying to break the two up, but Crystal comes dashing around the ring! Crystal pulls Chioda away, and the two fiends start double-teaming Axel! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Crystal and Gunner start kicking at Axel...until Hoff gets to his feet and yanks Gunner off of his partner! Hoff nails Gunner with a clubberin' right hand, and another, and then THROWS Gunner into the steel ringpost! Gunner hits with a *CLANG* and reels back, and Hoff grabs him from behind and slides him into the ring! Hoff follows him into the squared circle! CABOOSE He's not the legal man! COLE The referee isn't even in the ring, Caboose! Chioda is busy trying to pry a brawling Axel and Crystal off of each other as, meanwhile, Hoff pulls Gunner to his feet! The fans cheer as Hoff whips Gunner off the ropes, and sets for the SPINEBUSTER~, but Gunner puts on the brakes and kicks Hoff in the midsection! Gunner grabs Hoff and puts him in a standing headscissors, and slashes his arms! CABOOSE YEAH! This is IT! COLE Gunner looking for All Guns Blazing! Gunner hoists Hoff up, lifting him onto his back, and runs forward...but Hoff slips off of Gunner's back and lands behind him!! Gunner turns around...RIGHT INTO A ROCK BOTTOM! CABOOSE NO!!!! COLE This is what we saw last week during Hoff's International Amnesty Exhibition! History repeats itself! CABOOSE Oh, no....Gunner, get away! Hoff pops up after delivering the Rock Bottom...and grabs Gunner's ankle! The fans ERUPT as Hoff turns Gunner over and applies the ANKLELOCK!! Gunner taps like a madman, but the ref is still on the outside!! CABOOSE There's no ref, Hoff isn't the legal man...this is ALL WRONG!! Crystal, spying what's taking place in-ring, shoves Axel away and charges into the ring! Crystal runs at Hoff, but Hoff sucks a clothesline! Hoff lets go of Gunner's ankle and turns around, grabbing a surprised Crystal by the waist and flinging her overhead with a belly-to-belly suplex!! Crystal lands hard and rolls out of the ring! The fans cheer as Chioda slides into the ring and orders Hoff onto the apron! Hoff exits the ring. Meanwhile, Crystal heads back to her corner, Gunner hobbles up, and Axel slides into the ring! COLE And we pick up right where we left off! CABOOSE Plus one anklelock! Hoff oughta be disqualified! Axel grabs Gunner with a front facelock, but Gunner charges forward and drives Axel into the corner! Gunner stands up and starts driving his knee into the champ's midsection! Gunner pulls away and grabs Axel, looking for an Irish whip, but Axel reverses. Gunner hits the corner back-first, and Axel charges in, but Gunner stops him in his tracks with a SPEAR~! COLE SHARP END! The Sharp End from Gunner to the heavyweight champion! What's gonna happen next! Too tired to make a cover, Gunner lies prone on the mat for a moment before slowly crawling to his corner! Axel, meanwhile, slowly regains his bearings and does the same, looking for Hoff! COACH It's a race to tag! Both Axel and Gunner get close...and it's Gunner who tags first, sending Crystal into the ring! Axel lunges--NO! Crystal grabs his boot and pulls him away from Hoff's outstretched arm! The fans jeer as Crystal turns Axel over, looking for the Crystalling...but Axel kicks her away! Axel rolls to all fours, and Crystal dashes toward him...but Axel LEAPS and makes the tag to Hoff! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" COACH Oh, snap! Hoff comes in HOUSE AFIRE, flooring Crystal with a HUGE right hand! Crystal gets up and Hoff knocks her back down! Crystal up, and right back to the mat! Crystal comes up slow, and Hoff hits her! BAM! BAM! BAM!! RIght hand after right hand after right hand! Hoff grabs Crystal, whips her into the ropes, and catches her with a HIGH back bodydrop! Crystal soars into the air, then lands with a sick thud! Crystal, disoriented, tries to get up, but falls back to the mat! She comes up again, and Hoff pulls her up the rest of the way, grabbing her in a front face lock and hooking her outside leg...and Hoff snaps her over with a PERFECTPLEX!! ONE!! TWO!! THR-NO, as Crystal breaks the bridge! Hoff rolls to his feet, pulling the Female Phenom up with him. Hoff grabs Crystal and presses her high overhead! COLE What power! Hoff is-- HEY WAIT! Hoff, holding Crystal, turns...RIGHT INTO A SPEAR FROM GUNNER SHARPS!! Hoff falls and Crystal lands on top of him! COLE Come on! Not like this! Chioda makes his count! ONE! TWO! THREE-NO~! Hoff barely kicks out at the last second!! Chioda ushers a smiling Gunner out of the ring, while Crystal gets to her feet! Crystal drags Hoff to the center of the ring...then heads for the ropes! The former champ jumps once, twice, DIAMOND IN THE-NO!! Hoff gets his knees up and Crystal drives herself into them!! Crystal rolls off, holding her ribs, and Hoff crawls to Axel and MAKES THE TAG! The fans go ballistic as the World Champ hits the ring! COLE Axel has a chance to put it all away here!! Hoff rolls all the way to the floor as Axel stands behind Crystal, and FLASHES THE CRUCIFIX POSE as the Crown Jewel gets to her feet! Crystal turns around, and Axel scoops her up into a reverse fireman's carry! Axel turns...and puts Crystal down as Gunner heads into the ring again! COLE Come on, control him! CABOOSE You can't control a wild animal! Chioda holds Gunner back as he tries to get through the ropes...but Axel heads to the corner, reaches over Chioda's back, and NAILS Gunner with a huge right hand that sends the seven-footer off the apron and to the arena floor! The fans cheer--but the cheers turn to boos as Crystal sneaks up behind Axel and NAILS him with a LOW BLOW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" COACH Aw, that's cold, son! COLE And Chioda didn't see a thing!! Axel staggers, blinded with pain, as Crystal stands up and scoops him with a fireman's carry! Crystal lifts Axel up...and drops him with his OWN Axel Slam!! The fans drown out the arena with their displeasure as Crystal rolls Axel over and hooks his leg! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! *ding ding ding* CABOOSE What a victory! "Plug In Baby" hits as Crystal gets to her feet. FINK The winners of this bout....CRYS-TAL and GUNNER SHAAAAARPS!!!! Chioda raises Crystal's hand. Gunner slides into the ring, shoving the ref away and raising her hand himself. COLE Well it took a low blow, and Axel's own finisher, but Crystal and Gunner Sharps pulled it out tonight. COACH Wait, do you know what this means? This means next week we're gonna see...we're gonna see Hoff versus Axel! COLE Axel against Hoff, next week! Oh, my! CABOOSE Oh, yeah, that's right. Next week the two bozos take each other apart! I can't wait. Gunner holds the ropes for the triumphant Crystal, allowing the Crown Jewel to exit the ring. Gunner follows her, and the duo walk up the ramp, holding their arms in the air. Meanwhile, Hoff slides into the ring, checking on Axel's condition. CABOOSE Oh yeah, you're real concerned for him now, but let's see how you feel next week! Hoff and Chioda help the champ to his feet, and Axel looks at Hoff. The two men's eyes lock, and each takes a step back, staring at each other. COLE Folks, what a night it has been, and there you see the results. Next week, live on HeldDOWN, it will be Axel...versus Hoff. The two fan favorites stare each other down, neither man moving, as we....... FADE TO BLACK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted May 13, 2005 (edited) © 2005 OAOAST Inc./HeldDOWN Entertainment CREDITS Hoff Zack Malibu CWM Nice Guy Adam CanadianChick Alfdogg The #1 MST3K Mark Tony149 Masked Man of Mystery King Cucaracha Mystery Eskimo FailedMascot Edited May 13, 2005 by Hoff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
