"star wars: episode ii" review

[Guest chirs3]

Starring: That guy I don't like, Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, Sammy Jackson, and Ya-ya-ya-Yoda.

 

Overview: Several (thousand) star systems are threatening to secede from the Republic. This = baaaad. Queen turned Senator Amidala (still called Padme, for some reason) is on her way to the Senate when there's an assassination attempt! Her clever idea to use a decoy, which happened so frequently in Episode I that you'd think the enemy had caught on, works. She arrives safely in Coruscant (sp).

 

Once there, Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are assigned to be her protection. Early on, we see signs of Anakin's dislike for authority, intensified by being around the woman of his 8 year old dreams.

 

There's another assassination attempt. After successfully thwarting it, and after a fun fun fun romp through space traffic, the Jedi Council decides to send Amidala back to Naboo with Anakin as a bodyguard, and to send Obi Wan on a mission to find out who is after her and why.

 

Noooo more story for ya.

 

Bad: I'll do bad first this time, just because. I think anything even attempting to be romance in this movie falls under this category. Some really awkward looking kisses and truly stomach-turning lines ("I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life") had people laughing out loud. Many times. And despite his minor role, Jar Jar is STILL really annoying.

 

Good: Pardon the space reference, but this movie is light years ahead of Episode I. It managed to hold my interest all the way through, even when things weren't blowing up, and the action scenes were spread nicely throughout the first hour and a quarter.

 

And there's the last battle.

 

Good God, what a battle.

 

I think Episode II has claimed the throne for the "Best ending battle sequence(s) in a movie ever." Starting with Anakin and Padme arriving to help Obi Wan, aaaaall the way to the end, it's action. Not just action. Good action. FUN action. Action with occasional C3PO puns that have you alternating between grinning and going "Oh WOW". The last 45 minutes of this movie is literally worth the price of admission.

 

Overall: The package as a whole is a lot more tolerable than Episode I. The only real problems with the movie were the cardboard actors in the love scenes, and the first two thirds of the movie, while it holds interest, isn't very interesting.

 

Worlds above TPM. Chirs3 gives "Star Wars: Episode II" seven and a half see-through white shirts that look Oh-So-Good on Natalie Portman out of ten.

[Guest Flyboy]

Bad: I'll do bad first this time, just because. I think anything even attempting to be romance in this movie falls under this category. Some really awkward looking kisses and truly stomach-turning lines ("I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life") had people laughing out loud. Many times. And despite his minor role, Jar Jar is STILL really annoying.

I don't know why EVERYONE keeps dissing the love scenes... they really are needed in the story and I, for one, loved them.

 

And that line... fucking ruled.  It seemed deep to me.  Even the lines Padme says to Anakin on their attempt to save Obi-Wan are great.  

 

The idea is that Anakin and Padme loved each other in Episode I, and in Episode II the reunite and the love is still there, but they know it is wrong.  You can't just throw Anakin and Padme in bed without building a story first, and that's what Episode II did.  You don't get Luke and Leia from a one-night stand with Padme and Anakin...

 

 

Jar Jar really didn't annoy me... thank God his role was kept limited.

[Guest chirs3]

I hated the love scenes because, just like in every scene she was in for Episode I, Natalie Portman looked good and acted like shit. She has good lines, but delivers them like she's having trouble with the cue card.

 

The guy who I don't like whose name I can't remember who played Anakin wasn't so hot either.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Yeah, Hayden Christensen basically gave us Darth Vader as an angsty teen, but that wasn't so bad storywise.  His performance, however, was wooden and wanky.  Ditto on the Natalie comments--she purty, but a bit bland.  Better, though.  Ewan MacGregor was ages better here, aping Alec Guinness for all its worth, but the fact that the most compelling/moving/haunting/effective scene in the film for me was just him and Christopher Lee talking in a room with an actual set and without too much digital intevention says a lot about the whole conception of the film.  If you put two strong actors together on camera, they will work well together, no matter how cheesy the dialogue might be.  It would have served the film much better to have more quiet, subtle, unobtrusive moments like this ("It will be difficult to secure your release" was the best delivered and most dryly chilling line in the film, no doubt, most reminiscent of the fact that in the original trilogy, even the villains had a bit of wit) to conceal the flaws of the script, but that's not Lucas' style.  Neither is showing the most important moments.

 

Episode three longs for an R rating.  Pardon me, but Anakin's perverted erotic twistedness needs to be taken to the extreme, and the violence he does to turn dark needs to be seen.  The implications that Anakin is going to crack are nice for now, but we need that big impact.  It may sound brutal, but I don't think there would be a better explanation for his parentage of Luke and Leia than if it was by rape.  It'll never happen, though.  I'm thinking we'll get a noble Anakin who only turns to the dark side at the end and becomes more of a tragic hero in this arc than sick twisted monster.  Which, personally,  I think is a mistake--as the tragic hero of the entire 6-film cycle, yes, of course he is, that's perfect--but to have him hold off the dark side in Episode 3 would be a big mistake that wouldn't provide that link that everyone wants between these films and the original trilogy.

 

Still, I agree with Chrissyboy.  So much better than Episode 1--though Lucas DOES need a director who tells actors what to do, and a better editor, and script rewrite--but for all the awful qualities that the movie exhibited, it was still pretty darn good and a great time.  Not as timeless as the original trilogy, but getting there.

 

Which is really what pisses me off the most.  It had the tone and a bit of the charisma that makes Empire so damn wonderful, but it could have been absolutely great and reached that timelessness in the hands of a better production team.

 

However, I enjoy saying "Jango Fett" and "Count Dooku" because they sound funny, so the movie is a success in my eyes.

[Guest treble charged]

The idea is that Anakin and Padme loved each other in Episode I, and in Episode II the reunite and the love is still there, but they know it is wrong.

I'm I the only one who finds that funny?

 

In Episode 1, Anakin was a 10 year old boy (if that), while Padme was a full grown Queen (at least 20) and she was in love with him?

 

I also like the fact that Anakin has grown up, while Padme hasn't aged at all.

[Guest]

I think anakin was like 7 and padme was like 12.  Tbhough she was a queen she was a young queen.  You should research beofre you make stupid remarks.

 

--Rob

[Guest Flyboy]

The idea is that Anakin and Padme loved each other in Episode I, and in Episode II the reunite and the love is still there, but they know it is wrong.

I'm I the only one who finds that funny?

 

In Episode 1, Anakin was a 10 year old boy (if that), while Padme was a full grown Queen (at least 20) and she was in love with him?

 

I also like the fact that Anakin has grown up, while Padme hasn't aged at all.

I find it funny, too.

 

And, rob... I think treble were a little more accurate on his guess on the ages.

 

Oh.. and why hasn't Padme aged?  It's space, silly!  Things don't have to make sense!  

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Yeah, the aging thing is odd.

 

Though as a woman, she would've matured faster than Anakin. Keeping in mind that she was probably in her mid-to-late teens in Phantom Menace and Anakin was 8 or 9, she wouldn't have aged as much, while Anakin would have finally bloomed as a young man.

 

Yoda kicks ass. And I was far more into the Obi-Wan character and sub-plot than anyone else in the movie. He just seemed more involving.

[Guest chirs3]

I think anakin was like 7 and padme was like 12. - rob

 

In Episode I? As Wayne would say, "Are you mental?!"

 

PADME? TWELVE?! If they were trying to pass off a fully matured Natalie Portman, complete with boobs and 2x the height of Anakin, as a 12 year old, then Lucas is REALLY off his rocker.

[Guest]

I think anakin was like 7 and padme was like 12.  Tbhough she was a queen she was a young queen.  You should research beofre you make stupid remarks.

 

--Rob

You should really think about what you say before telling someone ELSE not to make stupid remarks.

 

Are you blind? Anakin was like 11-12, and Padme was clearly 17-19. Maybe you should watch the movie again.

 

Btw, there is a simple explanation as to why he looks so much older and she looks the same age. They come from different planets and could be totally difference species, who age at different speeds.

[Guest]

he was 11????? sorry, like I have said in other posts, I don;t dig on 11y/o's starring in movies, which is why the phanton menace blew.  Looked like he was 7 to me, and they made him out to be a prodigy and shit.  I am just going to assume I am right until george lucas calls me and tells me I am wrong.  

 

--Rob

[Guest Kahran Ramsus]

I don't know the ages of the characters, but Jake Lloyd was 9 during the filming of Phantom Menace, and Natalie Portman was 15.

[Guest chirs3]

Natalie was 15 during the shooting for TPM?!

 

Then I'm the one making stupid comments...

 

15? She looked... so much older than that.

[Guest]

Let the real Star Wars nerd of the Smartmark board clear this up:

 

Queen Amidala was 14 at the time of Episode I. As far as Natalie Portman's age, I believe she was 19 or 20 at the fliming of Episode I.

Anakin Skywalker was 9, so was Jake Lloyd.

 

Only five years' difference, not much.

 

Also, someone asked on another thread "what's up with that?" in reference to her being a Senator now yet being the Queen earlier. On Naboo, they elect their monarch, as odd as that sounds. Queen Amidala went her two terms as allowed by their constitution, so she went into more public service as Senator Padme Amidala.

 

As far as Anakin being a prodigy goes, he has the highest medichlorian(I think that's how you spell it) count in his blood of anyone, including Yoda, so he's got an assload of Force going through him. That would make ANYONE a prodigy. He also had experience tinkering with machines in Watto's junk shop for years, so he's quite good with mechanics.

 

My thoughts on the movie can be found elsewhere, but here's a brief quote: "THAT FUCKING RULED!!!"

 

Any other questions?

[Guest Spaceman Spiff]

Let the real Star Wars nerd of the Smartmark board clear this up:

 

Queen Amidala was 14 at the time of Episode I. As far as Natalie Portman's age, I believe she was 19 or 20 at the fliming of Episode I.

Actually, she was probably about 16 or 17.  Portman's b-day is 6/9/81, so she's 20 right now.  You figure Ep. 1 was released 5/99, so shooting took place (I'm guessing) 97/98.

[Guest]

Okay, so I'm only a supernerd about the story of Star Wars, and only a simple nerd with the backstage and real life aspects.

 

CAN'T YOU ALL FORGIVE ME???

 

(strokes his widescreen Special Edition Trilogy box) I'll be okay...

 

Boy, that was dark and sad, wasn't it?

 

Anyways, my mistake. I was just guessing on her age based on how she looked and how old she was in other movies and stuff.

[Guest Kahran Ramsus]

Actually, she was probably about 16 or 17.  Portman's b-day is 6/9/81, so she's 20 right now.  You figure Ep. 1 was released 5/99, so shooting took place (I'm guessing) 97/98.

 

Shooting took place in 1996/1997.  Lucas had begun working on it as early as 1994.

[Guest cabbageboy]

I did wonder about that.  How do you elect a queen?  I mean, the queen is the friggin queen.  Presidents and prime ministers are elected......queens are just there from birth.

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

But this takes place in a galaxy far far away, remember?