Hoff 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2005 The scene opens on the CSI "locker room," which appears to be a converted Mall of America bathroom. Brock Ausstin paces the floor. To the side, Jay Richards and Jumbo sit with PS2 controllers in hand, mashing the buttons furiously. Conspicuous by his absence is the leader, Chris Stevens. The fans let out a hearty "booooooo" as the image appears on the AngleTron. JAY Dude, how are you DOING that?! Jumbo smiles at his compatriot. JUMBO I'm not telling you @#$%, kid. You gotta figure it out on your own. That's what I did. JAY Bull. There's gotta be a strategy guide around here somewhere... Jay looks under he and Jumbo's folding chairs. Jay's is surrounded by energy bar wrappers and Gatorade bottles; Jumbo's chair actually has a plate of ribs underneath it. The search doesn't appear to go to well, as Jay sits upright with a frown. JAY This sucks. Brock's shoulders start heaving as he paces back and forth, prompting an odd look from Jay. JAY Dude, would you stop pacing? You're throwing off my game here. Brock looks up sharply at Jay. BROCK Where is Chris? He told me he had a surprise for me tonight... JAY DUDE! Maybe it's a motorcycle! That'd rock. JUMBO Under the circumstances, I think it might have more to do with Brock's career. Brock nods. BROCK I knew I could count on him. I just had to light a fire under his ass. Brock laughs, but Jumbo raises his eyebrows. JUMBO Hey, I've known Chris for a long time, and no one has ever had to "light a fire" under his anything. BROCK Whatever, man. All I know is that PK is the X-Division Champion, and I'm sure Stevens put two and two together. JAY Hey, badass. I hope it works out for you, man. Brock smiles and continues pacing, when the door swings open, revealing a smiling Chris Stevens. Stevens points at Brock and grins. STEVENS How's my guy?! Brock wrings his hands with a vicious smile. BROCK Oh, I'm ready. STEVENS Good, because you are not gonna BELIEVE the match I just got set. All the CSI members turn their eyes to Stevens. STEVENS Tonight...in this VERY RING....it's going to be BROCK AUSSTIN... BROCK Yeah! STEVENS ...and CHRIS STEVENS against the SK8R BOIS for the WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES!! COLE (v.o,) WHOA! Brock looks at Stevens, and his smile fades in an instant. BROCK What....the...the TAG TITLES?! STEVENS Yeah! You and me, man! How's that for a "big match?" Stevens puts his hand on Brock's shoulder, but Brock throws it off! STEVENS Hey, what the-- BROCK You just don't GET IT, do you, Chris?! I want the attention! *I* want it! ME! Not you, ME!! I want my chance to shine! STEVENS But....but we could be champions...and I thought-- BROCK Forget it. Hey, you know what, Chris? Forget [i]you.[/i] Brock storms past Stevens and out the door, letting it slam shut behind him. Stevens stares open-mouthed at the door, while Jay and Jumbo stare at Stevens. STEVENS That son of a... JAY Hey, it's cool, man! It's all good. Tonight, how about THIS: The LAMER Bois, against Chris Stevens and Jay Richards. CSI representing to the max. Jumbo can even come with. JUMBO Oh, *can* I? Jay flashes a smile back at his big buddy, then turns to Chris. STEVENS ....yeah. Yeah, that'll work. In fact, you know what? That's the best idea I've heard all night! JAY F'real. Northern Pro in the house, and tonight we take home the gold. Let's roll. The three CSI members head out the door, Jay and Chris walking side-by-side (it's a big door). Jumbo follows, shaking his head and smiling. COLE CSI vs. the Sk8er Bois for the TAG TEAM TITLES! TONIGHT!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2005 COLE Welcome back, fans, to HeldDOWN~ LIVE from the Mall of America! The camera sweeps the stands, showing all the screaming fans. COLE What a great show it has been so far... CABOOSE This has been a horrible show. HOFF I think someone's jealous we haven't been to the "Mall of England." CABOOSE There IS no Mall of England! HOFF Man, you guys suck. COLE Well one thing that doesn't suck is the OAOAST tag team division! Unlike SOME companies, we've got tons of great tag action every week, and we're proud to bring you one hell of a match in a few moments: CSI taking on the SK8R BOIS for the titles! Now Hoff, I know you'll have some thoughts on this. HOFF My thoughts are this. CSI, Chris Stevens and his goons, they're a bunch of low-level thugs with a bad attitude. These guys don't deserve to be on tonight's show. They give Minnesota, my home, a bad name. BUT...having said all that, I know these guys, and they're all tough competitors. Chris Stevens is one of the best wrestlers on the planet today. He's not THE best, that's still me, but he's up there. CABOOSE Get your lips off of your own ass. HOFF Bite me, Brit boy. I'm doing your job better than you ever could. COLE HA! HOFF Now the Sk8r Bois, these guys have been the champs for a good little while, but it seems like each week they're barely hanging on. They say it's better to be lucky than good, but I'll tell ya, with Chris Stevens, sometimes lucky isn't enough. The Bois are gonna have a tough row to hoe tonight. COLE Caboose, your thoughts? CABOOSE Yeah, let me give you an EXPERT point of view...and Hoff, don't ever forget who has more World Titles. HOFF For now... CABOOSE Yeah, keep dreamin', bub. As for this match, I hate to agree with Hoff, but any fool knows that the titles are changing hads tonight. Chris Stevens is the MAN, he's MY man, he's one of the top technicians in the world today, and Jay Richards, the rookie, is a hell of a high-flyer. They'll more than be able to keep up with the Bois' speed, and after that, all the advantages favor CSI. HOFF Except, of course, the championship advantage. A rule breaker like you ought to eb familiar with that. CABOOSE I don't think the Bois are smart enough to cheat. HOFF Well, for what it's worth, I never said the belts would change hands. Just that the Bois had a tough night ahead of them. COLE So you predict that the champs will retain? HOFF We'll see. The camera cuts to Buffer, standing by in the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST Tag Team Championship! [i]*dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! I really wanna know WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO![/i] "Who Are You" kicks in, and out come Chris Stevens, Jay Richards, and Jumbo: CSI. In his seat, Hoff bristles. COLE Easy, Hoff. HOFF I hope the Bois kick some ass tonight... CABOOSE And I hope the...um...the...well I hope some bad sports team wins a championship. NOT HAPPENING! CSI hits the ring, Jay being his usual, exuberant self, while Stevens stays more reserved. He stands pat on the ring apron, not even looking at Hoff as Jay tests the ropes on the inside. COLE Stevens ignoring you, Hoff, and focusing on the task at hand. HOFF That's probably a good thing. BUFFER Introducing first, from Rochester, Minnesota, and from Orange City, Iowa, respective-- Buffer is cut off in midsentence by Jay, who whispers something in his ear. BUFFER I apologize. From Rochester and from GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN... [b]"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"[/b] BUFFER The team of Chris Stevens and Jay Richards.....C-S-IIIII!!!!!!!!!!!! Jay raises his arms in the air as Jumbo lets out a loud guffaw from ringside. Stevens even manages a chuckle. HOFF That little bastard. BUFFER And their opponents... Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" hits the speakers, and the tag team champs come boarding out to a HUGE ovation! BUFFER From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, at a combined weight of 345 pounds, they are Hell Mel...The Marv...the OAOAST Tag Team Champions of the WOOOOOOOORLD....the SKATERRRRR BOOOIIIIIIZ~!~!~! The Bois slap hands with the crowd on their way to the ring, the large OAOAST Tag Title belts looking impressive around their thin waists. The tag champs hop off their boards at ringside and climb into the ring, hopping onto the turnbuckles and throwing their hands in the air! They climb down...and Richards jumps Marvin from behind!! *ding ding ding* The ref calls for the bell, ushering Mel out of the ring as Richards works over the back of the Marv. Jay grabs the tag title belt from off of Marvin's waist, holds it up to his face, and checks his reflection! The fans boo...until Mar dropkicks the title into Jay's face! HOFF Nice. Jay falls, the tag belt flying. Referee Tim White slides it out of the ring, to the timekeeper, then gets back to the action as Marv whips Jay off the ropes...no, reversal, and Marv goes flying! The champ comes off the ropes, and Jay throws a leg lariat, but Marvin ducks and keeps running! Jay turns, and The Marv hits a FLYING FOREARM! Cover, but Jay gets out at two. HOFF Caboose, I believe you were saying something about Jay bein"more than able" to keep up? CABOOSE He was caught by surprise! HOFF Uh-huh. COPLE What?! Jay Richards was the one who jumped The Marv before the bell! CABOOSE SHUT UP!! Marvin pulls Jay up and drags him to the champs' corner, tagging in Hell Mel. Stevens shouts some words of encouragement to his partner, but they do little good as The Marv extends Jay's arm and Melvin comes springing over the ropes with a double axe-handle! Jay reels, shaking out his arm, and Melvin grabs him in a side headlock from behind. Jay, though shoots Marvin into the ropes, breaking free of the hold, and then catches the smaller tag champ with a shoulder block, sending Melvin to the canvas. Jay looks out at the crowd and raises his fists in victory, letting out a healthy, Owen Hart-style "WOOOO!" HOFF Come on, Jay. You didn't do anything yet. Melvin rolls up to his feet and again runs the ropes. Jay ducks, telegraphing a backdrop, and Melvin leapfrogs him, landing behind Jay. Melvin leaps into the air, dropkicking Jay blindly! Mel's feet connect with Jay's back, sending him careening into the ropes, where The Marv blasts him with a right hand! Jay reels, stumbling backward into a rollup! ONE! TWO! NO!!!! COLE Jay Richards just barely kicked out! CABOOSE But he did kick out, Cole. And he'll continue to do so untl these 98-pound weaklings are out of gas. Then we've got new champs. HOFF I wouldn't be so sure, Caboose. So far it's been all Bois. They're a well-oiled machine. I know Jay and Chris all too well, and they're singles guys. Jay gets to his feet and walks over to Melvin, catching a forearm for his troubles. Mel throws another but Jay ducks, then gives Mel a THUMB TO THE EYE. Stevens applauds from the apron as White scolds Richards, but the cocky youngster waves him off abd grabs Hell Mel by the hair. Jay whips Melvin into the ropes, and Melvin leaps into the air, SPRINGBOARDING off the second rope and twisting in mid-air into a cross body...but Richards ducks it and Melvin eats the canvas! HOFF You don't want to do the high-risk stuff too early on, because your opponents are fresher and they'll be able to duck, dodge, or counter it. That's inexperience right there. Jay grabs Melvin by the hair and drags him to the CSI corner, tagging in Chris Stevens. The fans boo as Stevens enters the ring, preparing to do his work. COLE Chris Stevens isn't the least bit popular in his hometown. HOFF Well, why would he be. He's a malicious jackass. CABOOSE Malicious, that's a pretty big word for a roid-monkey. *SMACK* CABOOSE OW!! HOFF That's right, ow. Stevens grabs the arm of Melvin and twists, wringing it. Melvin groans in pain as he doubles over. Stevens rolls through and wrings the arm again, sending another jolt of pain through Hell Mel's small frame. As Mel winces, Stevens snaps a kick to his ribs, letting go of the arm as Melvin falls to the canvas. Stevens adds injury to insult by stomping Melvin in the lower back, knocking him off of all fours and onto his stomach. COLE Now come on, that's just uncalled for. HOFF It is sound strategy, Cole. Regrettably. If you act superior, like it's not even a challenge for you, you can intimidate the hell out of a guy. The Marv yells in protest from ringside, and Stevens stomps toward him, drawing the attention of rreferee Tim White. As White is distracted, the fans jeer while Jay Richards runs in, grabs the legs of Melvin, and puts a boot to the "lower extremities." Mel howls in pain as the smiling Richards exits hastily. CABOOSE See, Hoff? Well-oiled machine. HOFF We'll see if it holds. Stevens turns away from The Marv, leaving him frazzled on the ring apron. The CSI namesake picks Melvin up and applies a front chancery, draining the energy from the tag champ. Melvin tries to break free, but Stevens turns the hold into a wicked DDT! Hell Mel hits the mat and Stevens rolls him over, laying into a cover...but Melvin kicks out to a cheer at two! COLE Hell Mel has some fight in him yet! Stevens slaps the mat as he rises, then picks his opponent up. Stevens grabs Melvin and scoops him up, but Mel slides down Stevens' back! Mel runs the ropes, and Marvin makes a blind tag! COLE The tag made! The fans cheer as Marv scales the turnbuckles while Mel comes off the ropes! Stevens misses with a back elbow, and Mel slides out of the ring as Marvin dives off the top with a HUGE cross-body! COVER! ONE!! TWO!! THR--NO!!! Stevens kicks out! HOFF Damn, that was pretty. And it nearly got the job done. COLE Great teamwork by the OAOAST Tag Champs. Marvin hops off of Stevens and to his feet, quickly running up the turnbuckles!! The fans pop as the agile Marv poises on the top rope, back to the ring, as Stevens gets to his feet! Stevens turns, and Marv launches himself with a MOONSAULT.....but Stevens catches him with a SUPERKICK!!!!!!!!!!~! CROWD :o CABOOSE OH, YES~! That was AMAZING!! Jay goes NUTS on the outside, shocked at what his partner did. Jumbo's eyes bug out in shock. Stevens crawls to his opponent, flips The Marv over, and covers him! ONE! TWO!! THREE!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stevens looks up at Tim White, who points out that Marvin's foot is ON THE ROPE!! CABOOSE NO!! HOW?! The fans go BANANA as a pained expression crosses Stevens' face. Stevens picks Marv up, then slaps his thigh before whipping the champ into the ropes. CABOOSE That's it, Chris! ONE MORE TIME! Marvin comes off, and Stevens fires another superkick...but Marvin somersaults underneath his leg!! Stevens, confused, turns around into a DROPSAULT!! The fans cheer as Stevens gets knocked back, but Jay Richards makes the blind tag!! From the apron, Hell Mel cheers his partner on as he monkey flips Stevens over! Marvin looks back at Stevens in celebration, but Jay catches him from behind with a spinwheel kick!! MArvin hits the canvas! CABOOSE There you go, there you go. Turnabout is fair play. Now Hoff, you gotta admit, Stevens and Richards are working pretty well together. HOFF More than I thought they would, yes. But not so well as the Bois. Jay laughs as he picks the Marv up....and a gasp comes from the fans as BROCK AUSSTIN appears at the top of the aisle! COLE What the hell?! Brock Ausstin! What's he doing here? CABOOSE Watching his teammates win gold! HOFF Yeah, but...does he even WANT them to win? Brock looks on as Richards grabs Marvin by the head, and drills him with a ROCKER DROPPER!! Jay gets up...and sees Brock at the entranceway!! Jay looks at Brock with confusion, and the monster just shrugs! HOFF Right now, Brock is hurting CSI's chances. He's a distraction. They need to be focused. COLE You're telling us! Look in the ring! In the ring, The Marv slowly crawls to his corner, and tags in Hell Mell! Melvin walks up behind Jay, standing there with a smile on his face! CABOOSE Why doesn't Mel hit him?! COLE I think Melvin is amused by this situation! It gets worse, as Chris Stevens hops off the apron and walks down the aisle! Stevens and Brock have words, meeting midway down, and start yelling at each other!! Jay looks on in disbelief, then just waves them off and turns around. Unfortunately, he doesn't hear Jumbo's warning, and he turns right into a small package!! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!! *ding ding ding* BUFFER The winner of this contest, and STILL OAOAST Tag Team Champions.....THE SKATER BOOOOOIIIIIIIZZZ!!!! Stevens turns in shock as the bell rings, slapping his forehead as Melvin and Marvin grab their belts and pose on the ropes. Jay Richards rolls out of the ring, slapping the edge of the apron in frustration. He and Jumbo walk down the aisle, and Jay starts yelling at his fellow CSI members. Stevens turns to Brock, who just laughs as he walks away. Stevens shakes his head as he consoles Richards. COLE Well it was closer than a lot of us expected, but in the end the Bois hang on once again! HOFF I don't like CSI, but they need to get this ironed out if they're gonna survive. CABOOSE For once, we agree. This is no good. COLE Well a great match nonetheless, and we've got more to come, so stay tuned! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
