HD: Holly/Ned promo

[Tony149 0]

The crowd rise to their feet as HOLLY-WOOD & LOGAN MANN appear onstage, aruging. Synth tries playing peacemaker to no avail. Logan grabs Holly's arm, begging her to return backstage, but she frees herself from his grip and continues marching to the ring, ignoring the words coming out of his mouth. 

COLE
We know Holly asked for some interview time tonight, and I can only imagine the toll the past 4 days have taken on her personal and professional relationship with the Heavenly Rockers. Everyone who caught License to Pin live on pay-per-view saw a woman hop over the security railing and throw paint, which was contained inside a cup, in Holly's face. As Logan attended to his girlfriend, Narcissistic Ned nailed him from behind with the 90210 enzurigi. We don't know who this woman was, except that she was charged with disorderly conduct and released on bail. And if that wasn't enough, guys, I've been told her records -- mugshot, police report, ect. -- were "mistakenly destroyed" hours after bail. 

COACH
They're an embarrassment to the union, M.C. 

COLE
Canada isn't apart of the United States, Coach. 

COACH
After what you just reported, I'm glad they're not. Freeloading Canadians. 

COLE
There's something really [i]corny[/i] about the whole situation, that's for sure.

Holly grabs the microphone from Michael Buffer.

HOLLY
This has got to stop, and it has to stop now! I can't live like this anymore! The past 8 months have been pure hell for me physically and emotionally. I've experienced both heartache and just recently the gift of love from my friendship with Logan blossoming...

COACH
Blossom?! Whoa!

COLE
About two people picked up on that reference. 

HOLLY (CONT'D)
...into love. And it's because of that love that I'm willing to risk everything for this nightmare to finally end. So, Ned, bring your self-serving, self-centered, self-righteous, narcissistic ass out here right now. There's something I want to say to you, asshole! 

"YEEEEAAAAHHHH!" 

CABOOSE
Apparently she didn't get the word we're no longer on pay-per-view. 

Holly paces, waiting for Ned to appear. 

The crowd BOOS as Narcissistic Ned steps out onto the rampway, a smug look on his face. Sarcastic Simon and Jim Cornette there for moral support. 

"ASS-HOLE!"
"ASS-HOLE!"
"ASS-HOLE!"

CORNETTE
If you morons don't shut up, you won't get the pleasure of seeing an athlete currently performing at his highest possible level without the aid of performance enhancers. 

"BOOOOOOOOOO!"

NED
Holly, it's never been my intention to cause you pain. You talk about how the past 8 months have been hell for you; it's been the same way for me. Every night I dream of us strolling down the beach holding hands and kissing like true lovebirds. It's said "love conquers all." Well, I'm ready to conquer because I love you, honey bunny. 

HOLLY
How dare you say that you love me, you bastard! How could a man who supposedly loves a woman beat her up and put her life through misery on worldwide television? You're a voyeur, Ned. You don't love me. All you want to do is...(pointing at BUTT)...hit this and leave like you did to Krista 5 years ago. 

NED
Well, okay, maybe I don't love you love you, but I do want to conquer you. I've wanted to since the first day we met last year. Now, I admit, I did some pretty rough stuff to you earlier this year, but it's only because I read in FHM Magazine that you liked it a bit rough. You like it when your lover pulls on your hair and talks dirty to you. I like it when my woman digs her fingernails into my back, singing a heavenly chorus as Dick Johnson sings in the rain. 

HOLLY
What a piece of work you are, Ned. You've been putting me and the my I love through hell just because I turned you down. That's sad. But like I said, I'm willing to risk everything to end this once and for all. So I tell you what. You want to conquer me, Ned? You what to...(pointing at her BUTT)..."hit" this?

Ned smiles, nodding. 

HOLLY
(pushing Logan away)
No, Logan, I gotta do this. For us. For the band. 
(to Ned)
What I propose -- ever heard of [i]that[/i] word Logan? -- is a match next week. The Handsome Hustler versus...the Angel of Death. 

COLE
What?! Holly's just challenge Narcissistic Ned to a match next week! 

COACH
Well, she is a former Women's Champion. 

HOLLY
You'll get your chance to "hit" it next week, stud. That is, if you can beat me on-on-one. But if I win, then you'll agree to leave me and the Heavenly Rockers alone forever. 

Logan crotches, placing his hands in his face. Simon and Jim are just as shocked as Logan and the rest of the crowd.

NED
(laughing)
Wait a minute. So you're saying if I beat you, you'll sleep with me?

HOLLY
Glad to know you can hear. Yeah, you heard me right. 

NED
And you'd enjoy it, right? No crying or anything?

Holly falls backwards and spreads her legs, giving us a wonderful shot that would be censored on UPN. 

COACH
PANTY SHOT~! 

HOLLY
Hell, honey, not only would I enjoy it, but you can bang me in this very ring in front of a national television audience for all I care. 

COLE
I think the FCC would have a problem with that. 

NED
Get out of my dreams and into my bed. You're on, woman. I only ask of one thing, honey bunny. Come prepared because you're in store for the single greatest night of passion that'll make the hardest of hardcore movies look like softcore porn on Cinemax. Until next week, think of your Neddy Bear. I know I'll be thinking of you. 

Narcissistic Ned and Logan have a super INTENSE~ staredown. Holly gets in front of Logan and hugs him. He still can't believe what Holly has done. 

COLE
You heard it, fans. Next week -- Holly-Wood vs. Narcissistic Ned! If Ned wins, Holly will give her body to him. 

COACH
I guess it's fair to say Holly's in for some...stiff...competition next week. Bwahahaha! 

COLE
Oh, shut up!

CABOOSE
Tune in next week when the OAOAST turns into XPW.