HD: Holly-Wood vs. Narcissistic Ned

[Tony149 0]

I'll be posting a couple of post-match promos later.

 

COLE
Narcissistic Ned vs. Holly-Wood is coming up next. 

Split-screen: Tony Schiavone in the locker room with the New New Midnight Express and Jim Cornette; Josh Matthews at the backstage interview position with Holly-Wood and the Heavenly Rockers.

COLE (CONT'D)
But before we go to the ring, Tony Schiavone and Josh Matthews are standing by with the people involved. Let's hear some last minute comments from Narcissisitic Ned and Holly-Wood. We'll start first with Tony Schiavone, who's with Narcissistic Ned. Tony?

CUT TO: 

Tony and Ned in the locker room. Sarcastic Simon and Jim Cornette, both men dressed to the nines in tuxedos -- a flamboyant tuxedo in Corny's case, breaking out the black and gold longtail tux -- also in the room. 

SCHIAVONE
Along with Narcissistic Ned, I'm also joined by Sarcastic Simon and Jim Cornette. Ned, you've been waiting for this opportunity for quite some time now. For months we've seen you on OAOAST chasing Holly, and despite her many rejections you've kept hounding and hassling her and the Heavenly Rockers. Tonight it all ends one way or the other. If you win, Holly must sleep with you. If she wins, however, then you must stay out of her and the Heavenly Rockers affairs. 

NED
It wasn't rejection, Tony, rather a classic game of hard to get. George Washington, J.F.K., and Martin Luther King all fought for man. I join them tonight in fighting for man and for the hand of the lovely Ms. Holly-Wood. You see, Holly, honey bunny, the sexual tension between has finally reached its climax. I see that twinkle in your eye when you hear my name. You want me. Who can blame you? Every woman wants a piece of the Ned-man. But only a select few have that opportunity. Of course those women didn't step inside a ring to fight for that honor, but I'll go along with your foreplay request. And that's what our match really is -- foreplay. The real funs begins after hours at the Hilton. 

SCHIAVONE
You act like this is a foregone conclusion. 

NED
It is. 

SCHIAVONE (CONT'D)
Let me remind you, Holly is a former Women's Champion. She knows how to handle herself in the ring. 

NED
I don't deny that. But I also don't deny she's in for one rough night. Don't worry, baby, I won't need your face to have fun with you when we're on that king size bed. The springs have been reinforced. The champagne is on ice. You're probably on the pill, so I'll just throw out the rubbers. After I pin you, we'll go straight to the hotel and room 469. Love conquers all. And we'll be conquering each other. See ya in the ring, then in the hotel, sweetcheeks. 

Ned and company exit. 

SCHIAVONE
Let's go to Josh Matthews with Holly-Wood. 

CUT TO: 

Josh Matthews with Holly-Wood and the Heavenly Rockers at the backstage interview position (a OAOAST backdrop). Logan and Holly standing side-by-side, his arm around her. He's the nervous one. 

JOSH
Thank you, Tony Schiavone. I'm standing here with the woman who will face Narcissistic Ned in a matter of moments, Holly-Wood. Holly, we're just seconds away from without question the biggest match of your life. If you beat Ned he promises to leave you and the Heavenly Rockers alone forever. What are your thoughts heading into this big match?

HOLLY
My only thought is kicking Ned's ass! That son-of-a-bitch has put me and the people I care for through hell. Why? Just because I won't sleep with him. What kind of a reason is that? When I go to bed at night, I think to myself: "What would have happened if this had occurred in the WWE?" We'd probably be feuding over spilled coffee, thus saving me 8 months of hell. 

SYNTH
But the OAOAST knows how to bring the drama for everyone and their mama. 

HOLLY
Cancel the hotel reservations, Neddy, because after tonight I'll never have to deal with you again. And once I'm done with you, Ned, then I'm moving on to Jim Cornette. Outside of Ned, Cornette has been a thorn in my side. Well, Jamie, if you try any funny business I got a little something just for you. 

The nightmare ends tonight! Then it's onto winning the World tag team championship. Count on it. 

SYNTH
Deal with that ya'll mutha'f...! 

JOSH
Let's go to the ring. 

BUFFER
The following contest is set for one fall. Under the rules agreed upon by both participants, if Narcissistic Ned wins he will get Holly-Wood for the night; if Holly wins then Ned must leave her and the Heavenly Rockers alone forever. And, ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that the respective parties for each competitor have been BANNED from ringside! 

COLE
Excellent call by our new General Manager. 

COACH
Awww. What kind of a threat is Jim Cornette?

COLE
That tennis racket of his is. 

BUFFER
Introducing first, from Beverly Hills, California, weighing 240 pounds, "the Handsome Hustler" Narcissistic Ned! 

"Chase" hits, the crowd rising to their feet and booing the appearance of a solo Narcissistic Ned. The Handsome Hustler walks to the ring with a swagger, climbing up the ring steps and swing over the top rope and landing perfectly on both feet in the ring. He walks over to a corner, making an "X" with his forearms, and removes his silver NNMX vest. He faces the entranceway, stretching his arms and legs. 

BUFFER
And his opponent. From Hollywood, California, weighing enough to kick your ass, Arista Records publicist for the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time, the Heavenly Rockers...HOLLY-WOOOOOD! 

"YEEEAAAHHH!" 

We cut backstage, where Holly is stopped at the gorilla position by Logan Mann. 

LOGAN
Hey, uh, Holly...I, um, wanted to do this in private, but, you know... Aw, damn, why must I suck at letting my feelings be known? I can write a song about sex, drugs and roll 'n' roll, but I can't express my feelings to you. 

HOLLY
Then write a song and tell me. 

LOGAN
I thought of that, but it seems too WWE. I wanted this to be a special moment just between you and me, but then I remembered how much you love watching "A Wedding Story" on TLC, and with all the camers around, it may be kinda fun to do it like that. Unlike Synth, this is my first time doing this. I've been wanting to give you this since last week, but everytime I tell myself to suck it up and just give it to you, well, you know, the butterflies get to me. 
(takes deep breath)
Look, I don't know what's going to happen in the next 5, 10, however many minutes it takes for your match, but whatever the outcome, I want you to know I...I...

HOLLY
(happily)
Yes?

LOGAN (CONT'D)
...want to give this to you now. Here you go. 

Logan hands Holly a gift-wrapped heart-shaped box. Holly gasps, her eyes lighting up. She tears apart the gift-wrap and opens the box. She pulls out...

...a RING. But not the ring she was expecting. 

HOLLY
(disappointed)
Oh. 

LOGAN
It's a friendship ring. Friends forever.

HOLLY
I just had a flashback to a Saved by the Bell epsiode there. 

LOGAN
Heh. Synth's been in the back watching his VHS copies. 

HOLLY
Didn't he buy the DVD box set? 

LOGAN
Yeah, but he says Dustin Diamond asked to borrow it and never returned it. So, uh, do you like the ring. I couldn't help to notice you seemed a bit disappointed. 

HOLLY
Oh, no. I love it. Love it, love it, love it. Thank you. 

Kiss. :wub: 

TERRY TAYLOR (Off-Screen)
Come on, Holly, we don't have all night. 

HOLLY & LOGAN
Shut up, rooster! 

HOLLY
Well, I better go. 

LOGAN
Yeah. 

Holly climbs up the stairs. 

LOGAN
Holly. 

HOLLY
Yeah?

LOGAN
Before you go out there I want you to know that I...I...

HOLLY
Got me another present?

LOGAN
No. I, um... Good luck out there, girl. Heh. I should really come up with some cute nickname for you. I know you hated the last one. 

HOLLY
Calling a woman "bitch," no matter how much love it's intended to have, doesn't exactly make a girl feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. 

LOGAN
Yeah, I know. Good luck. I'll -- We'll be watching. 

The two kiss and Holly leaves for the ring. We cut back to the arena and Holly walks out onstage to a huge ovation, looking focused as ever. As she nears the ring, Narcissistic Ned rushes over and holds the ropes up for her. Holly walks away and tries entering from another side of the ring, but she is once again met by Ned. 

COLE
Ned stalking Holly. Why can't that narcissistic bastard understand she doesn't want him? 

Holly ingores Ned's gesture and walks over to another side of the ring. And Ned meets her there, too. Holly finally loses her cool -- flipping Ned off to a loud pop. Narcissistic Ned throws his hands up and shrugs, backing away from the ropes. 

CABOOSE
Why did she have to do that? The guy's trying to be a gentleman, but she isn't responding like a lady. 

Holly removes her leather biker jacket and tosses it aside, sliding underneath the bottom rope and loosening up in the corner -- jogging in place, pulling back on the ropes, etc. With both competitors in netural corners, Nick Patrick calls for the bell. 

* DING DING *

They both walk up to the center of the ring. Narcissistic Ned acting like his usual arrogant self. The two exchange words, with Ned playfully squeezing Holly's left cheek. She sarcastically smiles, then grits her teeth and decks Ned with a forearm smash! Holly floats back to the corner after having stung like a bee. Ned, eyes wide, uses the ropes to pull himself up to a knee, massaging his jaw. 

"YOU GOT SERVED!" 
"YOU GOT SERVED!" 
"YOU GOT SERVED!" 

COLE
It's been awhile since we've heard that chant. 

CABOOSE
I could've waited awhile longer. 

Blanchard rises to his feet, shaking off the cobwebs. Embarrssed, Narcissistic Ned leaps to the center of the ring, stomping the mat with both feet, telling Holly to come over and lockup. 

COLE
Ned very eager to lockup. 

CABOOSE
I'd be eager, too, if Holly were my opponent. 

COACH
We're gonna see how rough Holly likes it now. 

Collar-and-elbow tie-up, Narcissistic Ned going behind and riding Holly like a mechanical bull, smiling as he blows in her ear. Holly stuns Blanchard with a reverse elbow to the right temple and countering the waistlock into a hammerlock. It doesn't take Narcissistic Ned long to counter into a hammerlock of his own. Twisting the arm, Blanchard makes sure to keep his head pressed against Holly's back, making sure she wouldn't be able to connect with any more back elbows. 

Holly sticks her right leg between Ned's and takes him down to the mat with a drop toehold, then floats over the top into a front facelock. Blanchard pops back to his feet, backing Holly-Wood in the corner, pressing all his weight against her. Nick Patrick asking for a clean break. Ned lowers his head, placing his forarms on Holly's chest. He slowly raises his head up and then JIGGLES Holly's breasts. 

"OOOOOOOOOOO!" 

Ned backs away, smirking. 

COACH
I guess we're still in the "feeling out" period, fellas. 

Holly scowls. She SPITS her wad of GUM in Ned's face and SLAPS him. That's only the beginning of her onslaught. She SPEARS Ned to the mat and buries the knee into the groin, hammering the Handsome Hustler with hard forearm smashes to the face. Ned grabs Holly by the throat and SLAPS her. 

COACH
Ha! That gets her off. 

COLE
Would you stop! You've spent the past two weeks spouting off one-liners with double meanings. Call the damn match. 

CABOOSE
Looks who's talking. 

Narcissistic Ned measures up and viciously kicks Holly in the ribs, stomping her on the back of the head as she rolls away. Ned drops down and CHOKES Holly, using his free hand to SLAP her. "You want him over me, bitch?" Ned says, shaking uncontrollably as he continues choking Holly. Nick Patrick physically pulls Ned off Holly. Blanchard gets up and shoves Patrick, who immediately warns of a DQ if Ned gets too physical. 

Holly picks herself up in the corner. Blanchard nailing her from behind with a running knee to the spine of the back that sends the Arista Records publicst crashing sternum-first into the corner. Holly rests her head on the top turnbuckle, moaning. Ned grabs Holly's hand, locating the index finger and...

COLE
Ned BITING Holly's finger! 

COACH
Uh, Mikey, he's not biting her finger. 

COLE
Then what is that bastard doing?

COACH
He's...

...SUCKING HOLLY'S FINGER! 

COLE
How disgusting! Not only has Narcissistic Ned fondled Holly in this match, he's getting...pardon me...kinky. 

Holly GOUGES the eyes, Ned quickly responding with a shot to the gut. He pulls Holly out of the corner just to throw her back in. Ned steps back and goes all Karate Kid on us, getting in his karate stance and kicking Holly in her temples with both feet. 

J.R.
Van Dam-- I mean, Narcissistic Ned punishing Holly-Wood with those edcuated feet. 

Pointing in the air, Blanchard takes a giant step back. Sidekick-- No, Holly catches Ned's foot coming in! The crowd -- and Ned, for that matter -- waiting for Holly to make her move. Ned putting his hands together, begging the crowd to reason with Holly. The crowd full of sinners roar in approval as Holly-Wood takes Ned over with a DRAGON SCREW LEGWHIP! Blanchard getting up holding his knee. Holly off the ropes with a dropkick to that very knee. Holly tries whipping Ned to the ropes, but his knee gives out. 

Narcissistic Ned waistlocked, Holly lifting him up in the air and dropping the Handsome Hustler on his tailbone on her knee. Inverted atomic drop. Ned freezes, wincing in pain. Another inverted atmoic drop. Holly takes Ned up for a third. Ned jumping in place from the pain, then grabs his knee. 

COACH
Poor Handsome Hustler. First the knee, then the family jewels, and back to the knee again. 

COLE
Somehow I doubt you'll find a lot of concern folks for Narcissistic Ned. 

Holly hits the ropes and levels Ned with a clothesline. She picks him up by the hair and successively rams him into the top turnbuckle. 

ONE...
TWO...
THREE...
FOUR...
FIVE...
SIX...
SEVEN...
EIGHT...
NINE...

Holly puts her BOOT up on the top turnbuckle...

...TEN! 

Ned stumbles out of the corner, groggy, and drops on all-fours, placing his forehead on the mat due to exhaustion. Holly gives the Handsome Hustler a taste of his own medicine, kicking him in the ribs. Narcissistic Ned rolls to the corner, clutching his ribs. Holly brings him to his feet and shoves him into the corner. She rubs her hands seductively on Ned's chest.

HOLLY
Do you like that, baby?

NED
(smiling)
Oh, yeah. Give it to me all, honey bunny. 

Holly stops rubbing Ned's chest, his eyes widening as he sees Holly bring her hand back and then forward. 

* CHOP *

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!" 

Ned grabbing his chest, crying out. Holly punches him in the gut, causing Ned to lower his guard. 

* CHOP * 

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!" 

* CHOP * 

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!" 

Blanchard whipped across the ring. He bounces hard out of the corner and straight into a bodydrop! He crawls to the ropes and pulls himself up. He turns around and...

...Holly CLOTHESLINES him over the top to the floor! Holly-Wood powerwalks around the ring, slapping the ropes with enthusiasm. She steps out on the apron, placing her finger across her mouth, asking the fans to stay quiet as attempts to catch Ned by surprise. The only person caught by surprise is Holly, herself, as the Handsome Hustler catches her diving off the apron and RAMS her back-first into the RINGPOST! 

COLE
Oh, my God! Holly may be hurt. She may be seriously hurt. She tried coming off the apron with a diving clothesline, but Ned caught her mid-air and drove her into the ringpost. I'm not sure if she can recover from this. This may be too much for her to overcome. 

CABOOSE
High-risk, high reward. If she would've hit the move chances are she could have thrown Ned back into the ring and finish him off. Heh, I sounded like Coachman there for a minute. But now it's gonna be Narcissistic Ned who finishes Holly. 

COLE
I understand we have footage from the back of Holly's boyfriend, Logan Mann, reacting from what we just saw. 

[b]MOMENTS AGO[/b]

[i]A small box appears in the left-hand corner of the screen. Logan and Synth watching from the monitor in their dressing room. Logan lowers his head into both hands as Holly is drilled into the ringpost. Synth tries keeping him upbeat by patting him on the back.[/i] 

COLE
This has gotta be tough on Logan, only being able to watch from the sidelines. 

COACH
Oh, man, this is great. Not only will he finish her off now, but he'll be finishing off on her -- or in her, because we know how Holly likes it -- later tonight. You think the Ned-man would let me watch. We're close, you know. 

COLE
What the hell is wrong with you?! Are you sexually repressed or something? If you keep acting like this pretty soon it'll be Jerry Lawler sitting in your chair. 

COACH
No, no. Not Lawler. I'll be good. I'll be good. 

COLE
Holly tossed back in. She tries buying herself some time by rolling across the ring and falling to the floor. Narcissistic Ned just getting back in himself. Now he has to walk all the way to the other side and stepping back out. Holly picked up by her hair, Ned copping a feel as he places her on the apron. 

Narcissistic Ned slides back in and pulls Holly up on the apron.  

COLE
Don't tell me he's gonna...

COACH
Yes! 

DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPLEX from the ring apron back inside the ring! 

Narcissistic Ned rolls through and puts Holly in a sitting double underhook. Nick Patrick asking Holly if she wants to quit, prompting a "HELL, NO!" 

"YEEEAAAHHH!" 

"Oh, she wants me," Ned tells Nick Patrick, who looks back at him with a whatever-type of expression on his face. Nick wipes the sweat off his brow and asks Holly again. He gets the same reply and now just waits and see along with the rest of us. 

Holly turns the other cheek, grimacing, as Ned KISSES her on her neck. 

COLE
What arrogance from Narcissistic Ned. 

COACH
Come on, Mikey. Look at Tommy Lee. That dude has banged Heather-freaking-Locklear and Pamala Anderson. Chicks dig bad boys. 

COLE
Both of those marriages ended in divorce. 

CABOOSE
And a case of Hepatitis C for Pam. 

The fans clap and stomp their feet in support of Holly. 

"HOLLY!"
"HOLLY!"
"HOLLY!"

The crowd support and Ned's taking liberties fires Holly up. She rises up to a knee. Then a second. Sensing he's in danger Narcissistic Ned throws KNEES to Holly's face. She switching putting her knees up to lessen the impact of the blow. Unfortunately for Ned, the knee that got worked over earlier in the match collides with Holly's, allowing her to take him up and over -- all of Holly's weight crashing down on top of him. 

CABOOSE
That's the move Larry Zbyszko used to beat Lord Steven Regal with at Slamboree 1994. I remember this vividly because England went into a brief depression after that and when his Lordship lost the World Television Title. 

COLE
It's a test of strength now. Can Holly hold on?

ONE...

TWO...

TH-- NO! 

COLE
Oh, my! Blanchard just managed to break free. 

Narcissistic Ned is the first to get back to his feet. He charges Holly with his arm outstretched, but Holly ducks under and hits the ropes, taking Blanchard off his feet with a SPINNING HEEL KICK! Narcissistic Ned quickly rises to his feet -- but Holly rolls him up in a SMALL PACKAGE. 

ONE...

TWO...

TH-- KICKOUT! 

COLE
The crowd gasps again, as Holly was half-a-count away from riding herself and the Heavenly Rockers of Narcissistic Ned endless overtures forever. 

Ned taken off his feet again, this time courtest of a shoulderblock. Holly dives on top, but Blanchard kicks out at two. Holly-Wood hits the far side of the ring, picking up a full head of steam and connecting perfectly with CROSS BODYBLOCK! 

ONE...

TWO...

TH-- NO, KICKOUT! 

Side headlock takeover, Ned scissoring the head, keeping Holly's head stuff down near his crotch. Holly rolls over and loosens the tight grip the Handsome Hustler has on her, getting to a vertical base and spinning around. She floats on top of Blanchard. The crowd "oohing" and "aahing" as Narcissistic Ned BRIDGES UP and goes for a BACKSLIDE -- but Holly flips back over, grabs a front facelock and hits PERCUSSION (DDT)! Ned's head bouncing off the mat, but more importantly, his body landing near the ropes. Holly crawls over and covers Ned, hooking the near leg. 

ONE...

TWO...

TH-- NO, FOOT ON THE ROPES! 

COACH
(deep breathe)
I don't know how much longer the crowd has before they pass out. I don't know how much longer I have. 

COLE
Oh! Holly was just ONE FOOT away from having her 8 month long nightmare come to an end. 

CABOOSE
When your adreanline mixes with emotion it leads to mental mistakes. And that's what we just saw. Instead of hooking the the far leg, the one closest to the ropes, she hooked the near. It allowed Ned to put the foot on the rope. I think she took Percussion for granted. Every wrestler has their go-to move, the one that once you hit you know it's over. Percussion is more of a luxery to Holly considering she prefers the Hollywood Groove or Rodeo Driver, but when you take into consideration that she trains with the Heavenly Rockers, who may have the best DDT in the sport, you know she knows how to use it.  

Holly scoopes Ned up and slams him in the center of the ring. She points to the top, taking a moment to soak in the cheers from the fans, and mocks Narcissistic Ned by STUTTER-STRUTING to the corner. From the inside of the ring and her back facing Ned, Holly starts climbing up to the top. Narcissistic Ned gets up holding the top of his head, and catches Holly going up, pounding the back of her neck with forearms. Blanchard positions himself on the middle rope and BACK SUPLEXES Holly to the mat! 

ONE...

TWO...

TH-- NO! Holly just gets the shoulder up. Ned now zooming in on the back, wearing it down for his Slingshot Suplex. Blanchard driving the knee repeatedly in the spine of the back, wrenching on the neck. In pain, Holly refuses to quit. There's too much riding on this to quit. She summons for the crowd, stomping the heel of her boot on the mat. The cheers get Holly going. She fights back to her feet, throwing a couple of elbows in the ribs of Ned. She tries whipping him to the ropes, but Ned stays in control by reeling Holly back in by her hair. Ned drops Holly with an elbow to the back. Blanchard calls for the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. He hits it! But instead of covering Holly, he picks her up and places her in a BEARHUG. He stuffs his head between Holly's breasts, shaking her wildly, THRUSTING UP, smiling. 

COLE
Ah, this guy is a world-class ass-- I'm sorry, fans. I shouldn't be talking like that, but Ned -- the man's a class-A jerk. He had her beat, but instead of getting the 1-2-3 he wants to dish out some more pain. 

COACH
I've never seen a more exciting bearhug in my life. I saw it right there! 

COLE
She didn't quit. 

COACH
I know. I saw her say, "Take me here, Ned. Take me right now. I want you, Neddy Bear."

COLE
The hell she did! 

"HOLLY!"
"HOLLY!"
"HOLLY!"

COLE
The fans won't let Holly give up. But she's beginning to go down. 

COACH
...

COLE
Don't. 

COACH
:( 

Nick Patrick raises Holly's arm up once. It goes down. Twice. It goes down again. 

COLE
If it falls here, it's over. 

NO! Holly keeps the arm up. She fights out of the bearhug with forearms to the face. She hits the ropes for some steam, ducking under a leapfrog. Ned caught coming off the ropes with a hip toss. Lateral press. 

ONE...

KICKOUT!

COLE
It was nearly over there. Ned takes Holly to the canvas with a double-leg takedown. Ned sliding down Holly, pinning her in a very compromising position! 

COACH
I've seen guys be pinned like that before. Get your head out of the gutter, Michael Cole. 

ONE...

SHOULDER UP!

Holly got the shoulder up. Still in that compromising position, Ned then holds down Holly's left hand. 

ONE...

SHOULDER UP AGAIN! 

Now Ned holds both hands down. 

ONE...

TWO...

NO!

COLE
Oh, what great strength. Holly BRIDGING UP ON HER NECK with all of Ned's weight down on top of her. 

COACH
Later tonight, not only will Ned be on top of her, he'll be in her! 

COLE
:angry: 

COACH
I'm sorry. I had to say. 

Ned jumps up and crashes all his weight down on Holly. 

ONE...

TWO...

NO! Holly bridges out. Ned jumps back up...and lands on Holly's SHINS! Holly rolls back and front facelocks Ned. RODEO DRIVER, twisting fisherman's suplex! 

COLE
THIS IS IT! 

ONE...

COLE
No, I take that back. Competitiors are jixed when the announcer says that. 

COACH
No, you're right, Mikey. It's over. 

TWO...

TH-- NO, KICKOUT! 

COACH
:lol:  

Holly scoopes him up and slams Ned in the center of the ring. She goes up to the top, her back facing Ned. 

COLE
I sure hope she knows what she's doing here. It didn't work out for her last time. 

As Holly balances herself on the top, Ned gets up and waits for here to come off. Holly leaps backwards, and Ned catches her in mid-air and has her set for a TOMBSTONE PILDRIVER. But instead of spiking her in the mat, he wastes his time making sexual gestures -- sticking his tongue out, etc. 

COLE
What an ass!

COACH
It sure is. I wonder if its tan or pale. A couple of the boys and I were wondering about that. 

COLE
You're an ass too. 

Still showboating, Holly HEADBUTTS Ned upside down in the GROIN! She keeps doing so until she's able to roll Ned over in a modified victory roll, and gets back to her feet, the crowd cheering wildly as she puts Ned in the HOLLYWOOD GROOVE, a/k/a the Liontamer! 

COLE
SHE HAS IT LOCKED IN! SHE HAS IT ON! Ned's gonna quit. 

Sarcastic Simon and Jim Cornette rush out from the back to aid Ned. 

COLE
Wait a minute. They're supposed to be banned from ringside. What the hell are they doing out here? We need security out here, damnit!  

"YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!"

COLE
Oh, yeah! We got some heavy security coming out here with the permission of our esteem General Manager. 

COACH
This is a disgrace! 

THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS catch up with Singleton and Cornette. Synth and Logan bring Simon and James E. together. DOUBLE COCONUT! Seeing what has happened on the AngleTron, Narcissistic Ned can no longer hold on and GIVES UP! 

* DING DING DING DING *

"YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" 

Holly lets go. Narcissistic Ned rolls out of the ring, holding his back. A group of women jumping out of their ringside seats, crying in joy. 

COLE
SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! Holly has freed herself and the Heavenly Rockers from that jerk Narcissistic Ned! 

The Heavenly Rockers embrace Holly mid-ring. The 3 sharing a group hug. Synth leaves Holly and Logan alone, the two taking a much deserved moment to kiss. They hug. The crowd continuing to cheer like crazy in the background. 

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner...HOLLY-WOOOOOD! Narcissistic Ned must now stay out of Holly's and the Heavenly Rockers' affairs FOR...EVER! 

"YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" 

The New New Midnight Express and Jim Cornette strike from behind. Holly going down from a Jim Cornette TENNIS RACKET shot. Synth thrown over the top. The Midnights working over Logan. Blanchard picks Mann up and holds him for Cornette. Cornette taps the racket on the mat and cocks it back and...

* BOOM *

...nails NARCISSISTIC NED! Logan ducked! Synth slides back into the ring catches a shock Sarcastic Simon by surprise with a kick to the gut and places him in a front facelock. Logan reels Ned in. A double case of PERCUSSION (DDT)! They then turn their attention to Jim Cornette. James E. putting both hands up, begging for mercy. He doesn't know Holly-Wood is standing behind him. He keeps backing away. Still backing...backing...

* BUMP *

He turns around -- knee to the gut. Cornette doubles over, Holly locking him in a front facelock. She twirls his finger in the air, signaling for...

...PERCUSSION! 

"YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" 

But she isn't done yet. She asks the fans if she should do it again. 

COACH
Don't these people have any compassion? 

PERCUSSION! 

One more?

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" 

PERCUSSION! 

COACH
James E. might be hurt. 

COLE
Oh, that's too bad. I'll be sure to say a prayer for him tonight. 

COACH
(sarcastically)
How kind of you, M.C.

The crowd pops loudly one more time, as "G's & Soliders" hits. Synth and Logan stand beside Holly, raising her hand in the air. The trio exit, slapping hands with their fans. They look over at the AngleTron and see the Midnights and Cornette laid out in the ring. 

COLE
The nightmare is over. Holly-Wood and the Heavenly Rockers are free. I'm sure they're gonna have a big bash later tonight. HeldDOWN continutes after these words from our sponsers.

Edited August 9, 2005 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

A couple of eh promos.

 

We cut backstage to the locker room, Jesse Ventura ducking out of the way of various objects -- luggage, chairs, etc. -- being thrown by Narcissistic Ned. Ned slams a chair to the floor, growling. 

VENTURA
Ned, what happened out there? It seemed like you had everything in control. You gotta be upset with the result?

NED
Upset?! I'm not upset, Jesse. As a matter of fact, I'm thrilled! 

VENTURA
Thrilled?

NED
The Ned-man doesn't deserve sloppy seconds. Why buy a used car when you can get one just out of the assembly line? While Holly and the Heavenly Rockers are off celebrating, they opened up a whole new can of worms when they attacked a defensiveless man in Jim Cornette.

You've once again showed your pettiness in causing pain to those you want, Holly. It isn't sexual this time, but rather intellectual. You wish you had the mind for business like Jimmy does. Because of you he's in the trainer's room being looked over by a team of doctors, possibily having suffered a serious neck injury. The OAOAST isn't big enough for the both of us. So how 'bout we raise the stakes a little, huh?

VENTURA
Wait a minute, Ned. I gotta remind you, because of your loss you're no longer allowed to get involved in the Heavenly Rockers' affairs. 

NED
Oh, but I think this is one affair they'll be very interested in getting involved in, Jess. Last week Holly said she was willing to risk it all to put an end to her so-called "nightmare." I know how much they hate our guts, that's why we come to them this week willing to risk it all. If you accept our tag team match for next week, Synth and Logan, and our able to beat us 1-2-3, then myself, Simon and Jimmy will leave the OAOAST for life! 

"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" 

VENTURA
That's a helluva lot you all would be risking, Ned. Are you sure about that?

NED
We're going all in. If they can hold us down for those 3 seconds it takes to win, we'll leave for life. There's a catch, however. We want this done inside a...STEEL CAGE. Men's manhoods are at stake now. If we're going to lose, we're going to do so as men. Enough of the woman. Enough of the soap opera B.S. It's a man's fight now. 

Narcissistic Ned exits. 

VENTURA
Unbelieveable! The New New Midnight Express have challenged to the Heavenly Rockers to a match, where if the Midnights lose, they say they'll leave the OAOAST for life. And they want it inside a STEEL CAGE! I'm being told through my earpiece that pretty boy Matthews is with the Heavenly Rockers in their dressing room. Joshie?

CUT TO: 

Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood celebrating in the dressing room with a bottle of champagne. Loud rock 'n' roll music playing in the background. 

JOSH
I can barely hear you, Jesse, but thank you. Holly, congratulations on the big win. 

HOLLY
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. 

LOGAN
And all Ned's gonna be doin' tonight is his right hand. 

SYNTH
(slurred speech)
A jack-off jacking off! 

LOGAN
Excuse the Synthmeister, Josh, he gets drunk easily. 

JOSH
I'm sure the party has just begun. But I was with you guys as you heard the challenged issued by the New New Midnight Express. They want you two inside a steel cage next week. 

LOGAN
Did they say they'd leave for life, J-Math? 

JOSH
For life. 

LOGAN
There's nothing more I'd like in the world -- besides having Holly by my side, of course -- than seeing the New New Midnight Express and their con-artist manager Jim Cornette out of the OAOAST. I don't know about you guys, but something sounds fishy here, don't you think? 

SYNTH
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Em pussies gonna be gone fishin' next week! 

LOGAN
I like the sound of that. What about you, Holly?

HOLLY
If it means bye-bye Neddy, then... Na, na, na, na, na, na... a-hey, hey... GOODBYE! 

LOGAN
That settles it. You boys wanna fight like men? Let's fight like men. For the final time ever, the Heavenly Rockers vs. New New Midnight Express. 

SYNTH
CAAAAAAAGE MATCH! 

JOSH
What an announcement, fans. Next week on HeldDOWN, for the last time ever -- the New New Midnight Express vs. the Heavenly Rockers inside a STEEL CAGE! If the Heavenly Rockers win, then the New New Midnight Express will LEAVE the OAOAST. Next week will be rockin', guys. Back to you at Sofa Central.