Tony149 0 Report post Posted August 25, 2005 (edited) Not exactly my finest work, but with two PPV matches to write this week's stuff is going to have to take one for the team. I do think the Punkmaster P (repacked Purist) stuff is funny. The crowd boos as the New New Midnight Express, their manager Jim Cornette, the South Central Militia and an unidentified woman appear on the AngleTron in front of a HD backdrop. From Sofa Central, Michael Cole. COLE As the voice of the OAOAST, I've been given the task of interviewing the 6 individuals all my fellow broadcast colleagues declined to interview out of disgust for their actions last week on this program. [quote]In grainy black and white picture... The masked men storm the ring and...go straight for the Heavenly Rockers. One of the men hammering Logan upside the head with the nightstick, the other using the nightstick to clothesline Synth. *CLIP* One of the LBJs charges out of the corner, SPEARING Mann, while the other charges with a CLOTHESLINE. Blanchard with the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX... Ned pins Mann. The LBJs slamming Nick Patrick near the cover. Grimacing, Nick counts 1-2-3. *CLIP* Security and officials rush out from the back, watching helplessly as the New New Midnight Express and LBJs beat the Heavenly Rockers with the nightsticks. The 4 men handcuff Synth and Logan to the cage -- slapping them around. The LBJs remove their masks to reveal... ...THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA! The S.C.M. tie their bandana's around the eyes of the Heavenly Rockers. They stick cigarettes in their mouths, which are spit out. Marcellus and Vincent grab the nightsticks and drill Synth and Logan in the head. The S.C.M. pick up the cigarette and light them up. Them, the Midnights and Cornette raising their arms in victory.[/quote] COLE In my 8 years in this business, I have never seen anything more brutal than what occurred last week. Your actions were deplorable. Ned playing "the world's smallest violin" in the background. COLE When Holly beat Ned a couple of weeks back, you promised that would be the end. It wasn't. CORNETTE Rock stars aren't the brightest of the bunch, ya know. COLE Don't you have any remorse? NED Not really. SIMON To tell you the truth, I haven't been so emotional affected since the end of "Love Story." Simon, Ned and Cornette laugh. Cole disgusted. COLE What about you Marcellus and Vincent -- any remorse? MARCELLUS Remorse?! You think anybody had remorse for me when my baby sis had to work the streets to help put food on the table after our old man died? Hell, no! Why the hell should I care about some ho? Jimmy "Cracker" Cornette paid us to do a job -- eliminate the Heavenly Rockers. 1 down, 1 to go. VINCENT That bitch had it comin' anyway. COLE You attacked a defenseless woman. There's no honor in that. CORNETTE It was self-defense. COLE It was sickening. CORNETTE No! Self-defense. Didn't you see the match? COLE I [i]called[/i] the damn match. CORNETTE Then you saw her stick her nose where it didn't belong throughout the match. [quote]Jim Cornette, neck brace and all, tears Earl a new one for not letting the LBJs in. The two trade shoves, resulting in Cornette hitting Earl with the RACKET! As Cornette unlocks the door for the masked men to enter, HOLLY-WOOD grabs him from behind. She spins Cornette around. * WHAMMY * Holly decks Cornette with a big right hand, much to the appreciation of the crowd. The Prince of Polyester flopping to the floor. ...Holly-Wood climbs all the way to the top of the cage. Holly off the top onto the masked men with a CROSS BODYBLOCK![/quote] CORNETTE (CONT'D) She attacked us. We had every right to defend ourselves. But thanks to the wonderful work of the finest woman in all of south central Los Angeles-- COLE That's no woman. That's a cold, heartless b-- The Midnights and Cornette are taken aback. The woman puts her hands on hips and bobbles her head. Marcellus and Vincent irate. CORNETTE Show some class, Michael Cole... COLE Looks who's talking. SIMON Enjoyed the first one, didn't care for the second, but found the third one to be enjoyable. MARCELLUS Watch how you talk to my lil' sis, punk! You don't wanna end up like the last sucka who talked down to her, wherever he is. COLE I beg your pardon. Are you saying that heartless woman... NED Which means none of the emotion baggage women typically bring. COLE (CONT'D) ...is your sister [i]Shyanne[/i]? CORNETTE Better known by her stage name of "Brown Sugar." She made quite a few guys happy back in her day, if ya know what I mean. Heh Heh. COLE What, Marcellus decided since he's already pimped her out on the streets, he might as well use her to further along his career? Gritting his teeth, Marcellus takes a step forward, his fist cocked. Luckily for Cole, he's conducting the interview from Sofa Central rather than backstage. Vincent, Shyanne and Cornette calm Marcellus. COLE You must be real proud of yourself, young lady -- and I use that term very loosely. Because of your actions last week... [quote]The woman scoopes Holly up on her shoulder and drops her face-first on the top turnbuckle. SNAKE EYES. As Holly bounces off the turnbuckle, the woman hits the far side of the ring hard and CLOTHESLINES the hell out of Holly... Ned holds Holly up, Cornette handing the racket over to the woman. She pumpels Holly's ribcage with the racket. Ned requesting a piledriver. He ask, she delivers. PILEDRIVER! Cornette mockingly asking Holly "one more?" Referring to when Holly asked the crowd last week if she should give Cornette one more DDT. Slow motion: PILEDRIVER! Super slow motion: PILEDRIVER! Logan yelling, kicking his feet... on the verge of tears as Holly's body lies contorted. The crowd littering the ring with anything that can be thrown.[/quote] COLE (CONT'D) ...Holly suffered 3 cracked ribs and a severely sprained neck. Suffice to say, she'll be out quite a while. SHYANNE If that tramp knows what's good for her, she'll never come back. People like Holly-Wood make me sick. She has it all -- fame, money, looks. I couldn't just run up to daddy and ask for a pony. I had to fight for everything I have today. My brother had to fight for everything he has to do. He lost an eye defending me. The least I could do is fight for him. Our father wasn't a rich man. All we have left of him is his love for pro wrestling. That's why we do what we do, and we're gonna keep doin' it until we become the World tag team champions. The Midnights and Cornette are a bit troubled by that comment, but they don't make it a big deal. CORNETTE Well, heh heh. See, they have hearts. And speaking of hearts, we told Logan we'd break his heart, and that's exactly what we did. Now he's out of action because he has to play Mr. Mom and take care of his girlfriend who looks like a fairy tale -- very grim. NED Hey, they're a helluva team, the Heavenly Rockers are. Not as good as me-- I mean, not as great as the New New Midnight Express, but good. Despite our total domination over them... SIMON Like when we owned Hell's Hitmen. Until they kicked our ass. Remember when JINGUS stuck that fork in your head. NED (grimacing) Damn, did that hurt like a bitch. As I was saying, despite our complete and utter domination over the Heavenly Rockers, they still keep coming back. Tonight we'll put an end to that when Simon finishes off Synth. COLE You are unbelieveable. NED Thank you. "Chase" hits, the crowd letting the Midnights have it as they leave the interview arena and make their way to the ring. * DING DING DING * BUFFER The following contest on HeldDOWN is set for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring fellow New New Midnight Express member Ned Blanchard and their manager Jim Cornette. From Charleston, South Carolina, weighing 225 pounds, "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton! COACH Fun interview, eh, M.C.? COLE It was like having a root canal. As you heard Jim Cornette mention, Logan will also be out of action for some quite. He requested -- and was granted -- a leave of absence to care for Holly. We at the OAOAST certainly send our best to Logan and Holly during this tough time. Another duo we'd like to send get well wishes to are the Sk8ter Boiz. They were scheduled to defend their tag titles against a top international team at AngleSlam, but The Marv sustained a deep knee bruise last Thursday against The Original Elite. CWM did quite the number of his knee, causing it to stiffen up over the past week. CABOOSE I've been in the ring with CWM and let me tell you, it isn't fun. COLE I was talking to our head trainer earlier today and he told me Marv should be cleared to go within a week. The Boiz have had quite the busy schedule since winning the titles from the New New Midnight Express in May. COACH It's a sign, fellas. If I'm a tag team in the OAOAST, I'm beggin' Calvin to for a tag team title match. The Boiz' luck is running out. BUFFER And his opponent. From Sin City, weighing 245 pounds, SYNTH! The crowd erupts as Synth comes out alone, "G's & Soilders" playing in the background. He sprints to the ring, diving underneath the bottom rope and fighting from one knee as he's met by right hands from Simon. Synth gets the better of Simon, firing him to the ropes. BACK BODYDROP! The Handsome Hustler and Jim Cornette both jump on the apron. Synth decking Ned with a right and nearly hitting Cornette as well, but he jumps off the apron. The Synthmeister nailed from behind by Singleton. Simon traps him in the ropes and rocks him with sharp rights. Irish whip. Synth catches Simon lowering his head with a kick to the shoulder, followed by a DROPKICK that sends Singleton flying. He CLOTHESLINES him over the top rope to the floor. Blanchard and Cornette rushing over. Fired up, Synth poses at every corner, pumping his fists. COLE He's running on emotion, fans. His friend/publicist in the hospital, his partner by her side, Synth is a lone wolf tonight. But he knows Logan and Holly are here in spirit. CABOOSE And as I explained a few weeks back -- running on emotion is a dangerous thing. That's why you have a brain. Think with it. Cornette complains to referee Miles Manchester about the closed fists being thrown by Synth. Miles warns Synth, who gently puts him aside and pats his arm. Synth hits the ropes, Cornette running away as Synth DIVES over the top and crashes onto Blanchard and Singleton outside! Cornette tries getting in a cheapshot with the TENNIS RACKET, but Synth stops him before he can, chasing Jimmy Cornette into the ring. Cornette crawls to the corner like a baby, backing up against the turnbuckles. Synth grabs Cornette by his red tie, cocking the fist back. COLE James E. begging Synth not to hurt him. Synth looking to the crowd. They want to see Cornette get his. Hell, I want to see Cornette get what he has coming. Sarcastic Simon from behind with a double-axehandle to the back. "The Handsome Hustler" Ned Blanchard distracts the referee from the apron as Simon holds Synth up for Cornette. Cornette taps the racket on the mat and swings. * BOOM * Down goes Simon! The crowd pops big. Both Cornette and Ned are stunned at the recent turn of events. Synth nails Cornette in the gut with a kick, and then THROWS him into Ned. The cover. ONE... TWO... THREE! "YEEEEAAAAHHHH!" * DING DING DING * COACH I don't believe this! CABOOSE And his name isn't even Special Delivery Jones. COLE Synth with a mega shocker. That match didn't even go a minute. BUFFER The winner of the match...SYYYNTH! Miles holds Synth's arm up in victory. Synth's right arm whacked from behind by a NIGHTSTICK! COLE What the hell?! COACH It's the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA! COLE Marcellus Wallace and Vincent Santana once again doing the dirty work for Jim Cornette's New New Midnight Express. Vincent drives the point of the nightstick on the arm. Marcellus hammerlocking the arm and slamming Synth to the canvas. Blanchard and Cornette getting their licks in. COLE They're--They're trying to break that kid's arm. Again. COACH (laughing) And there isn't anyone here to help me. The S.C.M. hold Synth's legs down while Ned holds the right arm out, Cornette bashing the racket across the back. Sarcastic Simon off the top... COLE No, damnit! No! ...with a KNEE DROP ON THE ARM! Synth writhing in pain. Ned tells the guy's he wants to drop a knee down on the arm. They all give him the OK. Simon taking over Ned's duty of holding the arm out. COLE Not again. Not again, damnit! The Handsome Hustler arrogantly stutter-struts to the corner, making Synth sweat some more as he makes the slow climb up the top. Then, out of the crowd comes a man dressed in a yellow spandex jacket with a giant "P" on the back, wearing a skull cap, gold steel chain and sunglasses. He SHOVES Blanchard off the top rope. CABOOSE This bloke looks awfully familiar. This hip homie enters the ring and grabs one of the nightsticks laying on the ground. Marcellus charges, "P" with a shot to the gut, swiping the feet from under Wallace with the nightstick. Vincent makes his move. "P" spinning counter-clockwise and using the nightstick to sweep Santana off his feet. Now it's Sarcastic Simon's turn. He, too, is drilled in the stomach with the nightstick, then kicked out of the ring. The Handsome Hustler charges the man and is BACKDROPPED over the top rope and onto Simon and the S.C.M. outside. The crowd pops for this one man thug. He calls for a microphone. CABOOSE I know who that is. COACH Well tell us. CABOOSE THE PURIST! COLE The Purist?! Why, we haven't seen him in over 2 years. COACH He must've had an extreme makeover since then. Look at how he's dressed. "P" calls for another mic. Luckily 2 mics are kept ringside: one for the ring announcer, the other for interviews at Sofa Central or a replacement for a faulty mic. The homie pulls a WALKMAN out of his jacket. He places the headphones over the mic. * BOOM-BOOM, POW, BOOM-BOOM, POW * A beat goes out. COACH Is--Is he gonna rap? CABOOSE Wrestlecrap moment coming up. "P" (rapping) Punkmaster P coming through your TV screen, getting ready to get down to the nitty-gritty Rappin' in the alley with P.N. Newz, he gave Punkmaster P some mad rhymes to use I know I'm white, but like Synth by my side, I'm really chewy caramel on the inside. While I'm not snortin' coke with Pat O'Brien, or half as funny as Conan O'Brien, I'm gonna be knockin' Cornette's noggin'. This Sunday we gotta pay-per-view and I'm here to challenge the two of you (referring to the NNMX) That's if, and only if, the Synthmeister says it's cool Hey, ho, hey, hey, ho! Sticks mic out to crowd. CROWD .... Say hey, ho, hey, hey, ho! CROWD ... PUNKMASTER P That's all I got. Word. Everybody is speechless. The heels are just standing with their jaws dropped. Even Synth, clutching his arm close to his chest, doesn't know what to think. The Punkmaster walks over to him, his fist reaching out. PUNKMASTER P Respek. Synth ponders his decision. FIST POUND. COLE Well, guys, I think...I think we have a new match signed for AngleSlam. CABOOSE Did he really make the challenge through a rap? My, my. COACH The Coach has an announcement of his own, boys. With the summertime coming to an end, that means the babes are going away until the spring. COLE Is that right? COACH I know that doesn't effect you, Mikey, but it effects The Coach and millions of red-blooded males worldwide. That's why next week on HeldDOWN, The Coach is gonna bring the babes. Summer Fun in the Fall: Chicks in Bikinis. Next week on HD. Edited August 25, 2005 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
