Adam 0 Report post Posted September 1, 2005 (edited) The show opens with a shot of Calvin Szechstein's office, where he casualy looks up the screen, a smile on his face. CALVIN Why, hello there. A small but noticeable portion of the crowd gives it up for Calvin, and Calvin points in their general direction before continuing. CALVIN I know that many of you will be disappointed that we're not opening with our typical fireworks show tonight, but as the General Manager I have decided that opening every heldDown with the exact same fireworks show was getting a bit... well, a bit redundant. However, I have hit upon a new idea. Given the OAOAST's close partnership with several record companies, we will be bringing in a different artist every week to open the show with a song of their choosing. We call this, "Calvin Szechstein's Fall Concert Series", and I hope you enjoy it. Calvin smiles as the crowd pops, but as the noise dies down he continues speaking. CALVIN Now, I didn't get here early tonight just to address that. You see, recently heldDown has become rather... stale. All of the big matches appear on pay-per-view, and to our fans who pay good money for heldDown tickets, it's just fair. So next week, Calvin Szechstein and EIGHT OAOAST Superstars are going to give back to our loyal heldDown viewership! The crowd pops again, being the lovable sheep that they are. CALVIN Next week, it will be the Sk8er Boiz... Mild pop. CALVIN The Global Party Exchange... Mild jeers. CALVIN Dan Black and Tony Brannigan, Black T, and -- and this is a stroke of genius -- Leon Rodez and Zack Malibu! Cheers! CALVIN And in the ring they will be joined by some tables, some ladders, and some chairs... and the OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! And the pop is DEAFENING. CALVIN Next week, Calvin Szechstein, Home Depot, and the OAOAST present TLC! But for right now, stand up and give it up for Mike Jones and the Ying Yang Twins, here to sing our national anthem! Mike Jones and the Ying Yang Twins come out and rock out "Badd", the logo flashes across the screen, and we are ready for the biggest e-fed weekly shindig in wrestling today... OAOAST HeldDOWN~! But before we get underway, the bootiful fireworks!! Of course, we open at Sofa Central, with the most biased announcing team ever assembled, TRIPLE C! COLE Hello everybody and welcome to the month of September, ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HELDDOWN? CABOOSE Are we gonna get sued for that? COLE Bah, those football players are on drugs. CABOOSE OK, now we're definitely gonna get sued for that. COLE Let's pretend it never happened. Well, we are four days removed from one of the biggest spectaculars on the OAOAST calendar, AngleSlam! And what an event it was guys, we saw a couple of amazing singles matches between some old and new stars in this company, but perhaps the biggest of all, as Hoff captured the OAOAST Championship! COACH DAZ MAH BOI! CABOOSE You make me sick. COLE Unfortunately Hoff won't be here tonight, as he is celebrating with his faily and friends back home. But the Champ WILL BE in the house next week! We have been told that Axel has requested a sit-down interview with roving reporter Josh Matthews, so who knows what's on his mind? COACH Chicken! CABOOSE Do you listen to yourself when you talk? COACH I drift in and out. COLE In any event, what a huge announcement by General Manager Calvin Szechstein at the top of the show! Tables, Ladders and Chairs! COACH That's one way to spike the ratings! COLE One thing though Coach, whats with the ring? COACH You'll find out Mikey boy, you'll find out right now! The ring looks like it's been transformed into Carlito's Cabana, but it's really the Coach getting ready for the Summer Fun in the Fall. The Coach standing in the center of the ring, grinning from ear to ear. COACH Oh, yeah. It's that time of the show, baby. It's time for the Summer Fun in the Fall. I know it's not that time of the month, and believe me, the ladies here tonight aren't, either. But who doesn't love hot chicks in bikinis? Well, except Michael Cole, of course. COLE Gee, thanks. COACH I hope you guys have your recorders set at home because you're not gonna want to miss this. Without any further ado, let's bring out the chicks in bikinis! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" STRIPPER MUSIC accompanies the ladies to the ring. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads, strawberry blonde, rainbow-color hair -- you name we got. Big-breasted woman, long legged women... JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER And twiiiins. COACH King, what are you doing here? LAWLER Two things: Puppies! Yahoo! The girls finish taking their lap around the ringside and enter the ring. They do their normal routine -- dance, wave, etc. COACH Okay, ladies. Now that you're all in the ring, I'm hope you are ready. The rules are simple. Just shake that ass! LAWLER And...puppies! Generic 60's MUSIC blasts over the loud speakers. The crowd boos as Coach, King and the ladies just dance. A big-breasted woman jumps in Lawler's face. The King shadow boxes with the women's, uh...yeah. LAWLER Oh, if I could die in your br-- I mean, arms tonight... I'd die a happy King. Ah, I think they winked at me. * TING * The smarks in the audience pop big as Henry Mancini's "Pink Panther theme" hits. Pink smokes fills the entranceway. Two figures step out, dancing seductively. "YEEEEAAAA-- HUH?!" When the pink smokes clears, two masked Luchadores dressed in pink tights, ponchos and sombreros do a sexually suggestive dance on the stage. Coach and Lawler's jaws drop. CABOOSE Friends of yours, Cole? The men LEAGFROG each other on their way to the ring. They swing over the top rope and dry hump the turnbuckles. They check out the ladies. Then CHASE them out of the ring. "BOOOOOOOOOOO!" They skip around Coach and Lawler before grabbing a mic. MAN #1 ¡Hola, mi amigos! I am Mariachi. MAN #2 And I'm Moracca. MARIACHI Los Diablos Del Fuego! MORACCA Devils of the Fire. The sexiest tag team in all of Mexico (pronounced Meh-e-co). And yes, we're gay. MARIACHI Smile. :D COACH You mean gay gay or happy gay? MARIACHI Gay. MORACCA Smile. :D LAWLER I don't think you understand what Coach is asking you. Are you gay in the sense that you're happy, or gay in the sense that your ho-- MORACCA We're not homo. We're homies. MARIACHI Smile. :D COACH Bwahahaha! That's actually pretty funny. But enough of this! You guys are killing the mood. I'm lost my boner. LAWLER You're lucky, Coach. I took a whole bottle of Viagra before coming out here. And it's really starting to kick in now. If I'm gonna blow it out my pants, I don't want to be in the ring with a man when it happens. Hey, if I leave here now, maybe I can catch the girls in the back. I'll see you Monday. Lawler runs to the back. COACH What are we doing Monday? Oh, yeah, that's right. Never mind. Back to you two. You better have a good reason for being out here. I mean, we were supposed to send the summer out with a bang. MORACCA It's all part of the plan, amigo. You see, we read our Wrestling Observer Newsletter so we know what was planned for tonight. You were gonna have a bunch of chicas shake their ta-tas out here. It was all supposed to end with the twins kissing. We knew the twins like to party, so we followed them to many, many nightclubs in the area and got them so wasted they were one drink away from being declared toxic waste. The next thing we know we're in Vegas serving as bridemaids as the twins married a couple of fat guys. And let me tell you, chico, the twins aren't too thrilled to be married to a couple fat guys. They looked bored out here. But we aren't bored. As a matter of fact, we brought the cup of life. Ain't that right, Mariachi? MARIACHI Si, amigo. These women are paraded on TV not because they're smart, but because they have big bongos. COACH Bongos? MORACCA Yeah, you know -- titties. MARIACHI It goes to show how unfairly the sexes are treated. Your men here must be sexually repressed. To you we have a messgae: don't worry. Like El Presidente Bush, who's liberating millions around the world, Los Diablos Del Fuego will liberate los hombres de America and all around the world. What better way to do so then by becoming a OAOAST superstar. Better yet, win one of those pretty tag belts. Imagine the fun we'd have with those straps, Moracca. MORACCA You're bad. MARIACHI Not as bad as you. The Diablos playfully slap each other butts. COACH I don't know what promotion you guys think you're in, but this is the OAOAST. You just can't walk in here and demand title matches. You gotta make an impact first. MORACCA Impact? COACH Si. MORACCA But we don't like T & A. We like d-- COACH Look, we got a big tag match coming up next. Why don't you take a seat in the front row and watch how we do things here, huh? MARIACHI But aren't those seats taken? COACH Do you see anybody sitting there? MARIACHI No. But what if they're in the rest room? They're gonna come back and want their seats. COACH We'd just give them an autograph or something. MORACCA What if they don't want the autograph? COACH Then we'd just throw their ass out the American way. MARIACHI Muy bueno. Before we take our seats, we'd like to dedicate the following to all the fighting MEN in the world. Musica, por favor. Los Diablos Del Fuego get another surprisingly large pop, mostly from the smarks who know who they are, as they do a seductive strip tease too steamy to write. We go to break with the Diablos bumping and grinding against each other. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap DIRTY DEEDS Fenway Park September 25th Live on Pay-Per-View! Edited September 1, 2005 by Zack Malibu Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted September 1, 2005 (edited) CALIFORNIA LOVE!!!! COLE Here comes the man that beat Vitamin X at AngleSlam the Parka! CABOOSE There's no need to rub it in! The new el camino appears behind the sliding door and moves out onto the stage. Parka revs the engine to the delight of the crowd. CABOOSE Oh this is brilliant. First he bounces his car out onto the stage and now with this new one he comes out here making a lot of racquet and this crowd eats it up! COACH Don't pretend you don't like the car. CABOOSE I'm not pretending. Parka "parks" his car and heads down to the ring with a mic in hand. The fans cheer as he reaches out and slaps hands with a few in the front row. He then climbs into the ring and raises his hand for silence. PARKA I can now officially say that I am back. I have proven that I still have it and I have proven that Vitamin X in now way retired me. The crowd cheers again and Parka stops to let it soak in. PARKA Now as you all have noticed I found myself a new ride. Actually I can't really say I found it. It was given to me as a gift from Blurricane and rest of his gang. I guess it was in appreiciation for helping them out of their mess. I won't lie to you, I couldn't afford something like this right now. Vitamin X was right about one thing, I am having a bit of a rough time right now. However, after AngleSlam nothing is going to bring me down! Parka pauses as the crowd cheers again. PARKA I'm coming right back in and starting where I left off. This is my first real chance at a great singles career. I'm happy for Peter and his success, but now it's time for me to have a bit of success myself. COLE He's of course referring to his former tag team partner the X Division Champ Peter Knight. CABOOSE Oh really? PARKA I came back here to find a lot of new talent and I found a rift forming between the new guard and the old guard so to speak. Well you know us veterans need to show the young guys a thing or two, so I lay down an open challenge to any young new star. Vitamin X tried to make a name for himself at my expense and failed. If you think you can succeed where he failed then bring it on. COLE Oh wow I wasn't expecting this. The crowd cheers. PARKA They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Well I'm not old and I'm definitely not a dog. I can still learn a bit from these new talents here in the OAOAST. I look forward to facing whoever it is that steps up. Because I am here to stay! The Parka lowers the mic as the crowd cheers again. He leaves the ring and walks back to his car. COLE The Parka has issued a challenge to a young talent to step up and prove themselves. I wonder who will answer? Parka gets back in his car and revs the engine one more time before leaving. COACH What a night this is gonna be so far guys, I can feel it! CABOOSE Might be the viagra you took from King earlier. COLE (ignoring the other two) At Angleslam of course, we were scheduled to see two matches from the Women's Division. One being the Gauntlet Match to crown the new OAOAST Women's Champion, the other the confrontation between Ashley Street and the person responsible for the bounty put on Jenny Adams' head. Neither went ahead, with the Women's Title Gauntlet delayed to tonight, due to an existing commitment for the Minnesota Angels down in Mexico. As for Ashley's match, we have no idea on that situation...but, maybe Josh Matthews can shed some light on it, as he's backstage right now. We cut backstage to the Women's Locker Room as Ashley Street is lacing up her boots. Standing beside her, Josh Matthews taps Ashley on the shoulder, prompting her to glance up. MATTHEWS Ashley...sorry to interrupt, but we wanted to talk to you about a couple of things. First being the scheduled match at Angleslam between yourself and the benefactor to the bounty on Jenny Adams. ASHLEY Well, wouldn't you know it, this 'benefactor' didn't show up. I got to the arena early and all I heard all night was 'no, they haven't shown up yet'...'no, we haven't heard anything yet'...'no, there's no opponent yet'. She chickened out. Just like I thought she would. So, obviously I'm not too happy right now. First, this person decides to target my friend...my innocent friend. Puts money on her head and gets someone to injure her. And now, she's playing mind-games with me too. But see, she's making a big mistake. Jenny was too busy watching her own back to hunt out this benefactor. But I ain't got that problem. I will found out who this bi-*bleep*-h is and I will get revenge, for me and for Jenny. MATTHEWS There is one consolation though. Due to the benefactor's continued absence, you've been added to the Women's Title Gauntlet Match here tonight. Your thoughts on that? ASHLEY Well, obviously I'm excited about it. I've been working long and hard to get back to physical shape after the car accident and this feels like a reward...making all my work worthwhile. I didn't get chance to wrestle in the Title Tournament Final. But tonight, I will be in the Gauntlet Match. And I'm there to win. MATTHEWS Well, we wish you good luck tonight. Anything else you want to say before we wrap things up? ASHLEY Yeah. I just wanna say to Jenny...get well soon and when you get back, it'll be my honour to give you the rematch for the belt that you deserve. Ashley goes back to lacing her boots, as Josh turns to the camera. MATTHEWS There you have it. Ashley Street is ready for the Gauntlet Match tonight. COLE WOMENS TITLE MATCH! GAUNTLET! HELDDOWN! TONIGHT!! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* Broken: The AJ Flaire Story. Follow the brightest young star's path through conquering the X-Division, before he had his dream tragically taken away. Will he ever get back into the squared circle? Edited September 1, 2005 by Nice Guy Adam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted September 1, 2005 (edited) Inside the locker room arena, the Sk8ter Boiz are with Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Sporting blue jeans, a leather jacket and a bandana on his head, hizzonor holds a OAOAST microphone in his right hand. The Boiz are in matching red shorts and Dirty Deeds t-shirts, the World Tag Team Titles draped over their shoulders. Sticking out like an eye sore, though, is The Marv's heavily bandage knee. VENTURA It is indeed my honor and preveilage to be standing next to the World Tag Team Champions, the brother combination of The Marv and Hell Mel -- the Sk8ter Boiz. Thank you for being... THE MARV My friend. VENTURA Not even in another lifetime. HELL MEL Ah, the theme from "The Golden Girls." Betty White was one fine piece of ass. THE MARV I'd still hit it. VENTURA And I'd wrench. But gentlemen, there's lots of things to talk about. First, let's start with the knee. It was two weeks ago during your tag title defense against The Original Elite that you, Marv, suffered a knee injury. You were dropped knee-first onto the exposed steel turnbuckle. The kneepad did little to protect you from the steel, and if that wasn't enough, you had your knee worked over by one of the most ruthless men in the sport. But you still managed to pull out the W. How's the knee? THE MARV It's feeling better. I, uh, suffered a deep knee bruise, and while it causes me discomfort, it's something I'll be able to work through. And is it ever gonna be tested next week. VENTURA That's my next question, champs. Earlier tonight General Manager Calvin Szechstein announced a World tag title bout for next week. And it isn't just any tag title bout -- it's gonna be a 4 Way ladder match! Yourselves vs. the GPX, Leon Rodez and Zack Malibu, and the team I predict will win it all...Black T. HELL MEL While I respect your opinion, I'm gonna have to respectfully disagree. No offense, Jess, we love you, but people like yourself have dismissed our World tag team title win as a fluke, lightning in a bottle. And our favorite: luck. Maybe it is luck. Heck, we'd rather have lady luck on our side than the fat lady singing. Gee wiz, even mama Nerdly thought we were joking around when we first told her we had won the World Tag Team Title. She thought it was all that bad American influence, and we were on drugs. We were high on cloud 9, but we weren't on drugs. Yeah, we may be undersized... THE MARV And we are. HELL MEL (CONT'D) ...we may be malnourish and Canadian... THE MARV And we are. HELL MEL (CONT'D) ...but we got heart. Unfortunately that's a quality frowned down upon in these times, especially by women. The Nerdlys have never had luck with the ladies, you know. Great-granddaddy Nerdly joked his wife was really his cousin. VENTURA I'd believe it. THE MARV After the GM Cal, because we're cool, made the announcement our cell phones began ringing off the hook, friends and family calling to congratulate us on a great run as tag team champions. Despite being the current World tag team champions, they were speaking about our reign in past tense! Even our friends and family... Even our friends and family don't give us a chance in hell of winning next week. (crying) Grandma said she'd place a bet on Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez at the retirement home, and to thank Leon...for hours of entertainment his videos gave her. L-Leon, grandma says you--you have a cute ass. Oh. The Marv takes the bandana off Jesse's head and BLOWS his nose. The Body looks on, repulsed. Hell Mel consoles his brother. The GPX sneak up behind the Boiz and clock them with STEEL CHAIRS. The Marv falling back into the open-spaced locker, exposing his heavily bandage knee. * CLANK * A sickening sound from steel meeting knee. The Marv goes down, balling up in a fetal position, clutching his knee. The GPX continue abusing the Boiz with the chairs. They back away when ZACK MALIBU makes the save. OAOAST officials now fill the room. $cotty $tatic and Johnny Jax drop the chairs at the feet of Malibu, smirking. They exit the room as officials and Malibu check on the condition of the tag champs, the tag titles lying inches away from them. COLE What the hell? CABOOSE Oh man, the EMT's are going to have a ball back there. “LIGHTNING CREW!” The crowd stands up, and starts booing. The lights go down in the arena, while the AngleTron lights up with an image of PRL smiling. The crowd boos even louder when his face is shown. The image of a smiling PRL changes another image of PRL raising the 24/7 Championship belt after a match. The crowd continues booing waiting for PRL to show up. As image after image of PRL gets shown on the AngleTron, a classical melody is being played. It is a slow and mellow song with someone whispering the word “Chance” at several points during the song. The AngleTron shows PRL choked up. Follow by PRL being furious. It is then followed by PRL crying after winning the OAOAST North American Championship. Finally, the last image is PRL smiling again, except in a psychotic matter and his evil laugh is heard over the P.A. System. The classical music hits a crescendo, and the AngleTron switches to a waving Puerto Rico flag, and in big white blocky letters appears the words LIGHTNING CREW. And then a lightning bolt hits the entrance. The crowd boos loudly as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds begins playing. Lights flicker on and off in the entrance. *No Chance (No Chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha, ha, yeah) Put up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us Are…PUPPETS! (Puppets)* Smoke fills up the entranceway. After a few seconds, the entrance doors slide open, and out steps Tha Puerto Rican and his Lightning Crew. The crowd’s boos get louder. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd in disgust. He is wearing his suit and tie, and is carrying his custom made 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He spins the belt plate, and then glances at The Lightning Crew, who all look depressed. PRL commands The Lightning Crew to walk to the ring with him. *But will find their place in line (In line, In line) But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz Cuz, it’s just a matter of time Cuz you’ve got…NO CHANCE! (You’ve got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Yeah, yeah, yeah) NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!* COLE The Lightning Crew has arrived on HeldDOWN~! And I bet Tha Puerto Rican isn’t too pleased with The LC’s performance last Sunday at AngleSlam. CABOOSE Can you blame him? The only LC member who won was Tha Puerto Rican! AngleSlam was supposed to be The Lightning Crew’s coming out party. Instead, they all came out of AngleSlam as losers. The Lightning Crew walks to the ring while “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. PRL is PISSED~! COACH Tha Puerto Rican successfully defended his 24/7 Title against Otaku II. However, Ayane Mitsui, Otaku’s wife, defeated Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Cuban Wall failed to win the Heartland Championship in the Heartland Invitational Chamber Of Hell Match. And the legendary Parka pinned Vitamin X to win that grueling Street Fight. COLE It was a bad night for The Lightning Crew overall. They left AngleSlam 2005 1-3. COACH I’m sure PRL will have something to say about that right now. PRL gets on the ring apron. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez holds the ropes open, and The Lightning Crew enters the ring. Puerto doesn’t pose. Instead, he asks for a mic from a ring attendant. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN CUT THE DAMN MUSIC! “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds dies down. The crowd boos. THA PUERTO RICAN Lightning Crew, ATTEN-CHUH!!! The Lightning Crew all stand still in the center of the ring. PRL spins the belt plate on the 24/7 Title. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL Lightning Crew, I am VERY disappointed in you. What happened at AngleSlam 2005 was embarrassing. What I saw at AngleSlam was pathetic. I mean, what the hell happened? You all talked about how AngleSlam was going to be your night to shine! You talked about how at AngleSlam you would all make a name for yourselves. And what happened? YOU ALL LOST! The crowd cheers that remark. PR I should be happy. I should be in a good mood. After all, I came out of AngleSlam with the 24/7 Title still around my waist. I am still YOUR CORPORATE 24/7 Champion. But while I came out of AngleSlam a winner…I was the ONLY Lightning Crew member to come out of AngleSlam a winner! CROWD YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! PRL SHUT UP!!! COLE That’s no way to treat The Lightning Bolts. CABOOSE SHUT UP!!! PR (CONT’D) Lightning Crew, your performances at AngleSlam were awful. To say I’m disappointed in you would be an understatement. You all came out of AngleSlam looking like chumps! The fact that not one of you got a win is just disgusting! Puerto walks over to Vitamin X. PR Vitamin X, what happened? I thought AngleSlam was your night. You’ve spent the past few weeks talking about how, at AngleSlam, you would retire The Parka. You kept telling us that at AngleSlam, you would become a singles superstar. You said it again and again; you were “The Legend Killer”. But you lost. You lost to a CRIPPLE! A CRIPPLE for crying out loud! The man hasn’t wrestled in over a year. He has a bad back that can be damaged just by touching it! HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE IN A WHEELCHAIR BY NOW! And yet, despite all of that, you still couldn’t beat him! Now, when you look back at AngleSlam 2005, you’ll remember that The Parka made his return to the OAOAST by kicking Vitamin X’s monkey ass all over the arena! COLE Well, it’s true. Vitamin X did lose to The Parka. You cannot take that away. PRL I don’t believe this. LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU! X, for someone so cocky, you sure can’t back it up in the ring. You’re pathetic! You couldn’t get the job done, and that is going to hang over your head for the rest of your life. When people see you walking down the street, they’ll say: “Hey. There goes Vitamin X. The man who lost to a cripple!” You make me sick! PRL walks over to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Vitamin X hangs his head in shame. PRL smiles at his girlfriend. PUERTO Lindsay. You know I love you right? Lindsay nods. PUERTO You know that you are my sun, my moon, my everything, right? Lindsay nods again. PUERTO You know I would die for you, and I would do anything for you right? Lindsay smiles, hoping that PRL won’t say anything bad to her. However, PRL’s smile fades away, replaced by an angry look. PUERTO But that still doesn’t exscuse your performance at AngleSlam! Lindsay’s smile now fades away. PRL Lindsay, let me be frank: YOU SUCKED! And I don’t mean in the way you usually suck, I mean it in the bad way. Lindsay, you could have WON your match. When you attacked Ayane Mitsui from behind, that was great! But you didn’t continue your attack. I expected you to wipe the floor with her, but NO! That didn’t end up happening. Instead, that little bitch, Ayane, now holds a victory over MY girlfriend! Lindsay, you need to step up your game! Next time you get into the ring, less stripping, more whipping of your opponent’s candy ass! Oh, and by the way, you haven’t been so good in bed either! Lindsay (and the crowd) is shocked by that comment. COACH Oh no he didn’t! COLE No come on. Is this really necessary? The crowd starts chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PR walks over to Mr. Boricua. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez starts crying. PRL And as for you! I—hey—hey wait! You weren’t on the AngleSlam card. You didn’t have a match at AngleSlam! What’s the matter? You couldn’t find your way to the ring? Why couldn’t you just step into the ring and say (In a “macho” voice): Me want to fight somebody! (Regular voice): I’m sure somebody would have accepted your challenge and fought you. And I’m sure you would have won. I’ll tell you why you didn’t do that: BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IDIOT! You’re probably the dumbest wrestler in the history of professional wrestling, and yes that includes “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. Everybody, look at Mr. Boricua. A 6’9” 300 pound idiot! You put his brain in a parakeet... *zing*! It'll fly backwards. Unbelievable. Mr. Boricua just stands there, as he is too stupid to realize that Tha Puerto Rican just insulted him. COACH Oh man. Tha Puerto Rican is just LAYING into The Lightning Crew. CABOOSE He’s pissed off, Coach! This is what happens when you piss off Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican walks over to Thomas Rodriguez. Thomas is shaking, sweating nervously. PRL glares at him for a few seconds. PRL Thomas… THOMAS RODRIGUEZ (nervously) Uh…uh…yeah…b-b-boss? PRL Why didn’t you come to the ring during any of The Lightning Crew’s matches? THOMAS Well, I, uh, well, I didn’t think…I, uh… PRL IT DOESN’T MATTER WHY YOU DIDN’T COME TO THE RING! The thing is that you never came to the ring at all during any of The Lightning Crew’s matches. And you know what? We could have used you. For once, we could have used you. Thomas, you could have easily run into the ring during either Lindsay, Cuban Wall, or Vitamin X’s matches, and made yourself the referee. Hell, Popick would have made you the referee for all three of those matches if you wanted. You’re an official OAOAST referee. You could have refereed any of those matches and given one of The LC members a win. So, if you think about it, YOU deserve the blame most of all! So, Thomas, The Lightning Crew going 1-3 at AngleSlam last Sunday is all YOUR FAULT. YOU SUCK! Poor, pathetic Thomas Rodriguez starts bawling. THOMAS Why do you have to be so mean? PRL Thomas, that’s called tough love. Maybe next time, when The Lightning Crew needs you, you’ll respond. Okay? Okay. Tha Puerto Rican walks over to Cuban Wall. PRL And last, but not least, Cuban Wall. Wall, I’m disappointed in you the most. Out of the entire Lightning Crew, you’re the one who shows the most promise. You are the breakout star of The Lightning Crew. At AngleSlam, you should have brought the Puerto Rican Championship back home. Instead, you came out empty handed. And it’s bad enough that you lost…but you were the FIRST ONE ELIMINATED! I mean, my God. Wall, that, that just sucks! The FIRST ONE ELIMINATED! THE FIRST? Come on! You can do better than that! You were one of the tallest wrestlers in the match! You should have been plowing through Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject, JINGUS, and Mike Guerriero, but you didn’t! The Heartland Invitational Chamber Of Hell Match should have ended with Cuban Wall raising the OAOAST Heartland Championship over his head while confetti fell from the ceiling. But how did it actually end? With JINGUS giving you a Clawslam through a table, and pinning you. CUBAN WALL I’m sorry boss. PRL Don’t say you’re sorry. That’s not going to change anything. You still lost at AngleSlam. You're an embarrassement, you're an embarassement to The Lightning Bolts, an embarassement to The Lightning Crew, and most importantly, an embarrassement to ME! I used to be so proud that you are a member of The Lightning Crew. Now, I don’t feel that way. Maybe I’m wrong. PRL stands face-to-face (well, actually face-to-chest), with Cuban Wall. PRL Maybe I’m wrong about you. Maybe you don’t have potential. Maybe you aren’t going to be one of the greats. Maybe you’re just a nobody. Maybe you’re just a loser. COLE Uh, is it a good idea to say this to Cuban Wall? PRL Cuban Wall. Quite frankly, you are just…a jabrony. The crowd “Oooohs!” that remark. Cuban Wall lets that remark soak in. Suddenly, Wall clutches PRL’s neck! COACH Cuban Wall has PRL in a goozle! Cuban Wall yells at Tha Puerto Rican while clutching his throat with his right hand! The Lightning Crew all stand back. COLE Cuban Wall is going to chokeslam Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He’s turning on his boss! CABOOSE Wall don’t do this! Don’t do this! Cuban Wall lifts PRL up for the chokeslam! PRL Wall! WALL! Don’t do this! Don’t do this! I ORDER YOU not to chokeslam me! Wall, if you do this, if you chokeslam me, where will you go? What will you do? You have nowhere else to go. I am your only friend Wall. We are your only family. Wall, if you do this, you will regret this! Mark my words. YOU WILL REGRET THIS! Don’t do this! Wall think of what you doing! If you do this, you’re screwed! Think about it. Cuban Wall holds PRL up for the chokeslam. He starts to think about what PRL is saying. The crowd is cheering for Wall to do the chokeslam. COLE What’s Wall going to do? CABOOSE If he’s smart, he’ll put PRL down. Cuban Wall looks at PRL, then The Lightning Crew. After a few seconds of hesitation, Cuban Wall puts down Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd boos. COLE Cuban Wall is staying with The Lightning Crew. CABOOSE Yes! Cuban Wall dusts off his boss’ suit. PRL adjusts his tie. He then spins his belt plate. Again. PRL Nice to see you know who runs this. Cuban Wall bows to Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Tha Puerto Rican controls The Lightning Crew with an iron fist. It’s amazing. PRL glares at The Lightning Crew. PRL Lightning Crew, because of your performances at AngleSlam, you are being punished. The Lightning Crew will NOT be competing tonight on HeldDOWN~! The crowd cheers. THA PUERTO RICAN Infact, you’re not going to see The Lightning Crew at all for the rest of the night! Go back to the hotel, you five don’t deserve to be in this arena after last Sunday! Go! Go! Shoe! Shoe! The Lightning Crew all stare at PR. PRL Why are you all standing there? GO BACK TO THE HOTEL! GO! The Lightning Crew slowly exits the ring. PRL That’s right. Go to the hotel, I’ll meet you there later. The Lightning Crew leaves the ring and walks up the ramp. They all have sad looks. COLE PRL is scolding The Lightning Crew like a parent scolds a child! PRL Yeah. That’s right. Lindsay, Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, Thomas Rodriguez. I’m pissed off at all of you. The Lightning Crew finally leaves through the entrance. PRL Now then, let’s move onto other matters. Last Sunday after my match against Otaku II, I was attacked by a friggin' midget! Me! Tha Puerto Rican! The most electrifying man in professional wrestling! Was attacked by some little Mexican midget named Spanish Fly! The crowd cheers. PRL Now Fly, I know that you’re pissed that I fired you from The Lightning Crew. But that was over a year ago! I fired you in June 2004. It’s now September 2005. Let it go. Just let it go. I mean, I’ve heard of people holding grudges for a long time, but this is ridiculous! Fly, I know you’re jealous because you’re never going to be like Tha Puerto Rican. You’re never going to be a multi-time Puerto Rican Champion, a former North American Champion, and one of the greatest of all time. And that’s why you attacked me. Out of jealousy. So, Fly, since I feel sorry for you that you’ll spend the rest of your life a tiny brat with no wrestling talent, I’ll let what happen on Sunday slide, and forgive you. COLE What? PRL Yeah, that’s right. You heard me right. Mark your calendars, September 1, 2005: “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican forgives somebody. Spanish Fly, I know that you’re jealous of me because I’m a real man. A real man wouldn’t do a sneak attack. The crowd starts rumbling. PRL A real man would just walk up to his opponent and say, “Hi. I would like to fight you.” The crowd gets louder, as someone has jumped over the barricade. PRL A real man would… PRL turns around. PRL Oh shit. Spanish Fly leaps off the top rope and gives PRL a hurricarana! COACH Spanish Fly has attacked PRL the same way he did last Sunday! CABOOSE He’s not a real man! PRL gets up and is met with a punch from Spanish Fly! Fly whips PRL into the ropes. Dropkick! Fly does a springboard moonsault onto Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Spanish Fly is dominating Tha Puerto Rican once again! Spanish Fly picks up Tha Puerto Rican and punches him in the face several times. Fly then whips Tha Puerto Rican into the turnbuckle. PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron. Fly follows by clotheslining PRL! PRL falls to the floor while the crowd cheers! Spanish Fly picks up PRL’s 24/7 Championship belt and raises it over his head. COLE I think Spanish Fly has just sent a message to Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Spanish Fly wants to become the next 24/7 Champion! CABOOSE Oh good. A midget wearing the 24/7 Title. That would be swell. Fly drops the 24/7 Title on the mat, allowing Tha Puerto Rican to get it back. PRL checks to see if the belt plate still spins. It does. PRL grabs the microphone and walks up the ramp. Meanwhile, Spanish Fly plays to the crowd. THA PUERTO RICAN Hey! Hey! Fly! Spanish Fly! Look here, you idiot! Spanish Fly turns around. PRL Hey. I hope you’re happy. Because you’ve just signed your death warrant! Next week on HeldDOWN~!, I’m putting you in the ring against…MR. BORICUA! Spanish Fly is shocked. PRL Yeah! Next week. Spanish Fly vs. Mr. Boricua! And Fly, I’m SO looking forward to Boricua crushing you like the little cucaracha that you are! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. Tha Puerto Rican laughs evilly while he puts his custom made 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. Spanish Fly stands in the ring shocked. The crowd boos loudly. COLE What a mismatch for next week! The 4’11” Spanish Fly is going to take on the 6’9” Mr. Boricua! How can Spanish Fly possibly overcome that? CABOOSE He won’t Cole! That’s why PRL set this match up. Spanish Fly is going to get squashed next week on HeldDOWN~! COACH This is going to be like David vs. Goliath! CABOOSE Except this time, Goliath wins! Goliath did lose right? COLE Yes. CABOOSE Good. COLE Well, we will be back with more HeldDOWN~! in two minutes and two seconds! Spanish Fly stands in the ring, shocked. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds continues playing. (FADE OUT) (COMMERCIALS) Edited September 1, 2005 by Nice Guy Adam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted September 1, 2005 (edited) Backstage, Calvin Szechstein sits with his feet propped up on his desk, chatting away on his cell phone, when we hear his door open. Cal looks over and offers a smile to the interrupting party, then resumes his conversation. "Hey, listen, Ashton, let me call you back, k? Yeah, no, you're on the list, it's no problem. Alright, I'll check you later." Cal flips his phone shut and puts it on his desk, then gets himself together, sitting all business like for his company, which the camera reveals to be ZACK MALIBU once it pans over! "Let me guess...you have questions? Concerns? Or you just came in here to relive the good old days." "I want to talk to you about this ladder match." "TLC match, Zack. Pay attention." "Whatever, Cal, you know what I mean." "Look, I know you and Rodez, you might be both on the same side, but you're not necessarily on the same page. I know there's a little history there from earlier this year, but the past is the past, right? I mean, you and I know that more than anyone." "I just want to know how you came up with putting us together. What's the deal there?" "The deal? Hmm, let's see...tag up two of my most popular stars, one of whom is the very face of the company I'm running. Two world-class athletes, not to mention you've got qualms with the GPX, and a little lingering bad blood with a Mr. Dan Black. Need I go on?" "No." snaps back Zack. "Zack, I know what you're worried about. Rodez, he's more of a fit for this little crew Drek Stone's pulling together, but truthfully, I don't think he wants any part of it. This is a chance, a goodwill gesture towards the newcomers and the young blood. You teaming up with Leon is going to go up Drek's ass, because it's going to show the world that what he's saying is false, and that you do give a damn about the talent trying to establish themselves." "You've got a point." "You hate that, don't you?" "Not all the time." "Listen, Zack, I know you better than you might even think. I've been on both sides of the fence with you, and I know you're putting the weight of this, Civil War we'll call it, on your shoulders. The last time you stressed yourself out over something, it didn't turn out too well. You forget, I was there for that." "Look, the stress is just stress. This is still the company that I built from the ground up, and I'm not going to let Drek Stone try to manipulate anyone anymore. These beliefs of his, these things he preaches, not only is it tearing us apart from the inside, but it's affecting the interest from the newcomers, I've got guys in OAOVW worried that they're going to get called up and left to rot at the bottom of the card. Stone's taking this vendetta against me and using it to make himself out to be some company man, some hero, when all he's doing is trying to rack up the number of people who want to do me in, in case he can't do it himself." "Sunday night was definitely a step in the right direction, you have to admit." "He beat me, I won't deny that, and I give him credit for it. In the ring, that night, he was able to pin me. You know more than anyone though, that doesn't stop me. I don't fall down easily. I'm still standing." "I know. And he knows, which is why you need to stay focused. He's not done coming at you." "Is anyone ever done coming at me? There's never a dull moment around this place." "I'll drink to that. Scotch?" "Cal..." "Right, we're working, I know. Hey, at least I can get away with it. I'm not about to fire myself for drinking on the job." "Look, I'm gonna go and talk to Rodez. I think we're done here." "Good man, go get your act together, because next week, it's your chance at a clean slate. You can turn the tide back in the direction of The Originals, Zack. You know what you have to do." Zack nods, then turns and leaves. Cal lets out a quick sigh as the door shuts, and we fade out. **************************************** As we return, we're in the ring with Mean Gene Okerlund! Gene has someone with him. It's Dan Black, in a snappy dark blue suit. He looks serious as ever. GENE I'm standing by with one Daniel Maximus Black, who at Angleslam last Sunday was betrayed by Stephen Joseph Popick. Dan, what do you have to say about it? Dan smoothes back his dark hair, before speaking with remarkable calmness. BLACK Well Gene, I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised with what happened. Popick's always been out for himself. I just made the mistake of believing he could also be out for the OAOAST. And you know, I don't even blame him. No doubt he's had his head turned by whatever GPX and Drek Stone have to say for themselves. I got distracted by my desire to rub out those little toerags, and Popick was able to take advantage. Now, as I say, I don't blame the man. But my pride is hurt. I was made to look foolish. So next week, on HeldDown, I am making a challenge to Mr Stephen to meet me in the ring, one on one, with no run-ins from his new pals, no interference - just a match to show that I am the better man, that I always have been. We've met many times before, Stevie. We beat each other all over the initial days of this company, all over IntenseZone. But you're looking at very different Dan Black today. There's no stupid Eskimo gimmick. There's no mindless, directionless angst. These days I know who I am, and I know what I can do. And that is break - your - neck. Dan smiles. A rare sight. GENE There you have it ladies and gentlemen - Dan Black laying down a challenge to Stephen Joseph for next week! He's in a determined mood, and I hope Mr Popick is ready to accept! Back to you, Sofa Central! COLE Thanks Gene, and what a singles bout that will be if it happens guys! Dan Black versus Stephen Joseph? CABOOSE Well Popick has shown that he's far from siding with the original stars of this company, so I hope Dan rips him apart. I retired him, you know. COLE Didn't he retire you? CABOOSE Who knows, this is wrestling, not a freaking Soap Opera. AWWW NAWWWW!!! COLE Stephen Joseph is coming out! Crowd: BOOOOO!!!! AWW NAWW HELL NAW BOY YALL UP N DONE IT! Stephen Joseph w/ the Geeee Peeeee X steps out from behind the mythical curtain, so to speak. Stephen's got a microphone and is primed for a response, as he, Johnny, and Scotty walk towards Dan. Stephen Joseph You question my allegiance to the OAOAST Dan? You're the one holding on and preventing the company from evolving. You're like ohhh Kevin Nash, or Triple H...maybe you think you're more like Mr. HeartBreak Kid, come to save the day from all the young green wannabes. It's time to wake up and smell the roses Dan. You're right, I am a selfish son of a bitch. BUT YOU CAUSED THIS. I cared about YOU, about Zack, about all you guys at one time. But no, YOU ABANDONED ME, you all did. You caused me to learn that I could only look out after myself...And Puerto Rican Lightning. Don't get me wrong. I'm not with the Upstarts because I think they're good guys. They're not. I'm with them for two reasons. One, because unlike the Originals, THEY HAVEN'T SCREWED ME OVER YET. and Two, It's what's best for the OAOAST. I guess I could throw in a 3rd reason that you Originals, at every step of the way in that booking room you call the "Glass Ceiling", have refused to give Puerto a run, nay a shot, at a World Title he deserves to have more than quite a few guys that have recently gotten a run. So Dan, Tell your boys in the back, that I didn't turn on them. YOU turned on me. Chew on that one sunshine for the next week. You challenge is accepted, and I'm going to do to you what I did at AngleSlam. And what do I always say? Johnny And that's the Truth Ruth? Scotty And that's the Fact Jack? Stephen Joseph What the? .... NO! Fuck me! FUCK YOU DAN! Stephen Joseph slams down the mic in righteous disgust, as himself, Johnny and Scotty back up the ramp slowly. *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHBOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! I really wanna know WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! And as Chris Stevens, Jay Richards, and Jumbo step onto the stage, the crowd splits in half. COLE What a reaction for CSI, and this crowd, well they don't know quite what to think! CABOOSE Well, half of them are morons, and half know the score. COACH Well, the reaction they got at AngleSlam was phenomenal! COLE Obviously, the crowd very excited for the big return of Chris Stevens, and here tonight, it seems like half of the fans are happy to see these guys, but the other half haven't forgotten everything they've done in the past! CABOOSE Aw bull, Cole, what have they done that's so bad? COLE What have they done?! They almost ended Peter Knight's career! They're rude, vile, and arrogant! CABOOSE Well that's true, but are any of those bad things? Stevens, dressed again in a suit and tie, walks with dignity down the ramp. The scene behind him lies in stark contrast, as while Jay high-fives the fans, Jumbo threatens them, pointing fingers, making fists, and at least on one occasion mooning a member of the audience. COACH That's a full moon! COLE Folks, if you missed Angleslam, you missed Chris Stevens callign Brock Ausstin out. Brock has been absent ever since License to Pin, when Stevens may have cost him the #1 contendership against Hoff! CABOOSE Well, whatever, I don't know about all that, but what I do know is that Chris Stevens is the LEADER of CSI, and he wants an answer from Brock. Is he still with them? COLE That is the million-dollar question, and hopefully we'll find out tonight. But, also at Angleslam, RICK HEYROSS made his return! COACH Yeah, Brock's former agent showed up, unannounced, crashed the party, and said-- well, incinuated-- that HE'D be bringing Brock to HeldDown! The CSI trio steps into the ring. Jay poses on the ropes while Jumbo grabs a mic and hands it to Stevens. The familiar theme song fades out as Stevens looks out over the crowd... STEVENS Well, it sounds like there's still some people out there who recognize what it's all about. "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!" "BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" STEVENS And what it's all about is C-S- "I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" COLE Chris Stevens getting this crowd on his side! CABOOSE Like they weren't already. Stevens adjusts his tie, and slides off his jacket. Jumbo grabs it and hangs it neatly over the ringpost. STEVENS Now. Let's skip the cute stuff and get down to business. For weeks, I have been waiting to hear from Brock Ausstin, and last Sunday I laid down the ultimatum. Brock, either you're with us, or you're against us, and I want to know which it is. So I know you're here, I know you saw Angleslam, so Brock, get your ass out here, right now!! The fans cheer as Stevens tosses the mic to Jay and begins rolling up his sleeves-- "Now WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT a minute!!" COLE It's Heyross! The crowd buzzes as Rick Heyross steps onto the stage! With a mic in hand, Heyross stares up at Stevens. HEYROSS Chris, just stop, just hold it, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! Jumbo grabs Stevens by the arm as the CSI leader makes a break for the ropes. HEYROSS That's right, let your fat little bodyguard protect you. The fans jeer as Stevens shakes his elbow free of Jumbo's grasp. HEYROSS Now. Chris, we all heard you last night....but I'm not quite sure if you heard me. I told you to be careful. Be careful, Chris, because sometimes you get what you asked for....and sometimes, you get more than you bargained for!! COLE WAIT A MINUTE!! WHO THE HELL IS THAT?! The crowd pops in shock as two men in windbreakers slide into the ring! The men pop to their feet and take down Jay and Jumbo from behind! The heat of the crowd goes sour as Chris Stevens turns around and eats a DOUBLE SUPERKICK~! "BOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH What in the world...? At the top of the ramp, Heyross laughs. In the ring, the two men separates. One, a slim-looking black man, stomps at the neck of Jumbo, while the other, a stockier white man, pulls Richards to his feet. He calls his teammate over, and the trim man stomps Jumbo one last time as his partner lifts Jay in a spinebuster position. The black man quickly heads to the ring apron, and the other man turns so he's lined up perpendicular. The smaller guy vaults onto the top rope and springboards into the air, coming down in a rocker dropper as his partner drops Jay to the mat! Richards convulses as the two men slap hands. Heyross rolls into the ring, climbs to his feet, and says.... HEYROSS I warned you, Stevens. I really did. And yet you just had to be a big man, didn't you? DiDN'T YOU?! Huh? Did you feel like a big man when you stole Brock from me? Did you feel like a BIG SHOT when he gave me the F-Stunner-5 at YOUR command? Oh, I've waited a long time for this, Chris. I've waited for months to get my hands on you and now that I have, it is sweeter than I could have imagined. YOU SCREWED ME, Stevens, and now I'm here to say "SCREW YOU!" And with that, let me introduce to you...my clients. "BOOOOOOOOO!!!" HEYROSS The men who are going to make your life a living hell! To my right, the most dangerous amateur wrestler in collegiate history.....CHARLIE MOSS!!!! The white guy raises his arms into the air. HEYROSS And to my left, the purest athlete in the business today.....QUENTIN BENJAMIN!!! The black guy does a backflip (!), drawing more boos from the crowd. The two wrestlers share a laugh, and Heyross joins right in. HEYROSS Ladies and gentlemen, TEAM HEYROSS!!!!! COLE Team Heyross?! The crowd jeers loudly, and the two men pose for their adoring public. Heyross waves them out, and they exit the ring. heyross follows, but stops right as he nears the ropes. HEYROSS Oh, and Chris? I don't know where Brock is....and I don't care. But as of right now, you just got a whole new problem to deal with. Heyross throws down the mic, and the three men exit to a massive round of boos. COLE I can't believe it! Team Heyross? Who are these guys? COACH I don't know, but they just took CSI apart! Uh, wow! We've gotta take a quick commerical break guys, but we'll be back with a big Axel interview here on HeldDOWN! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* Edited September 2, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted September 1, 2005 Backstage, Zack Malibu walks the halls, looking around for his soon to be tag team partner, Leon Rodez. As Malibu asks several road agents and other personnel if they've seen him, Leon himself comes into view. "Malibu! I've been looking for you." "Same here." The two men approach each other, and Zack extends a hand to greet Leon, who thinks for a moment, then shakes the hand of his one time enemy. "Look, I'm just as surprised as you are, Zack. But I talked to Cal myself a while ago, and I've got to hand it to the man, he makes a good point." "Yeah, I hate it when he does that." "I know what you mean. Look, you and I, we don't have the best history..." "That seems to be a recurring theme these days." "...but we can make this work. You've been in the ring with nearly everyone in the company, and I'm hungry to prove myself. No matter how random it may seem to us, this team can work." "I'm ready to make it work, but I'm going to come flat out and ask you one thing. Where do you stand?" "Where do I stand?" "As far as this little...mutiny, shall we say. I want to know what you think about what Drek Stone, the GPX, Crystal...what they've all been doing. I know you've had your problems with Wright and Bo, but I want to know if you've been buying what the rest of them are selling." "So, you want to know if I'm looking to get ahead at your expense, and if I think you and the rest of The Originals really are that greedy for glory that you've been keeping us "kids" down?" "Point blank, yes." "Zack, look, you and I, we had differences, but right now we're on the same page. See, I see what Drek's doing too. He's trying to poison everyone and destroy the reputations of the people that made this company great, all so he looks good in comparison. It's insecurity and professional jealousy taken to the next level. Me, I might be too secure with myself, I might brag a little too much here and there, but let me tell you something-I'm not looking to get by by any other means other than working to get to the top, and next week, Zack, I've been given an opportunity. I've been given the chance to get another OAOAST Championship, one that I can share with the person who is the star representative of this company, and THAT is something that I want to work." Zack smirks, while Leon just nods his head. "That's just the way it is, Zack. I'm coming clean with you. If I were to pick a side, right here and now...I'm backing The Originals." Malibu seems relieved that not everyone has been brainwashed by Drek Stone. "Alright then, Rodez. You and I need to talk, because we've gotta prepare for something." "You mean the match, right?" "I mean the war." COACH Cue eerie music guys... COLE That reminds me, what was with you last night in the X Title match? COACH None of your damn business. COLE Well we are four days removed from AngleSlam, where we saw a new OAOAST Champion crowned in Hoff. Right now though, we have a very special interview to bring you. Josh Matthews is about to conduct a sit-down interview with the man who lost the OAOAST Championship last Sunday night, Axel. COACH A lot of fans have been wondering about the hiatus of Axel and Hoff from OAOAST Programming, and while we did read an official statement from Bill Watts Sunday night at AngleSlam, Axel did not feel that it was enough, so he requested this interview to let you, the fans know of his status within this company, and his future in the professional wrestling business. COLE So, lets take it back to Josh Matthews, who’s standing by with former OAOAST Champion, Axel. *We cut to a backstage room, where two couches are set up, on the left sits Josh Matthews, on the right, Axel. Axel is decked out tonight in some black dress pants and a blood red shirt, no tie. Josh hears his cue, and the interview is underway* JOSH Thanks Michael. This is Josh Matthews, and I’m sitting down with none other than Two-Time OAOAST World Champion, Axel. Axel, thanks for being here. AXEL Thanks to you and the fed for doing this interview Josh. JOSH Alright, well first I thought I’d get your thoughts on losing the OAOAST Championship last Sunday night to a friend of yours, new champion Hoff. AXEL (smirks) Well mate, as you could imagine, I’m disappointed that I am no longer wearing that title. Winning the belt at AngleMania in March was the greatest moment of my career, one of those times where you know that everything you fought for, everything you worked for, was worth it. The last six months have been one amazing ride, and I’m thankful for that. Going into last Sunday’s title match, I was quietly confident, but plain and simple; Hoff was the better man that night. He wanted it more. He had more fire. It was his time to shine. And shine he did. But hey, I didn’t do so bad myself, I fought my ass off, but it wasn’t enough. Hoff is a great friend, and while we put all that aside Sunday night, he remains a friend now. His era has begun so good luck to him. There will be other times, other opportunities for me to regain that title, and you’d better believe I want to be the first three-time champion in federation history. JOSH Good answer. You seem a little less intense tonight, a little less intimidating. Any reason for that? AXEL Josh, I’m not wrestling tonight. I’m probably not wrestling for another few weeks at least. I’m not here to psyche anyone out with my words, or intimidate with my entrance, or get it done in the ring. I’m here to address my fans, and the fans of the OAOAST about my future. I’m breaking it down tonight. This is me. Outside the ring I’m pretty rowdy, pretty loud, but I also know when to shut up, quieten down, and take it all in. JOSH Well, before I get to your status, could you give us a little background into what went on in the last three weeks? AXEL Certainly. You see here in the OAOAST, your future is not absolutely guaranteed. So myself, along with a few others, only sign year-by-year, twelve-month contract extensions. Just so happens that my contract runs out August 14th, around three and a half weeks ago. Hoff’s contract also ran out on the 14th. OAOAST Management made an error in judgment by thinking that Hoff and I would continue to wrestle and put our bodies on the line if we weren’t protected by contract, insurance and the like. Fact of the matter is Josh, when we go out there as wrestlers, we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Hell, we aren’t even guaranteed an hour from now. We could land wrong, or fuck something up in the ring so bad that it doesn’t just hurt us, it severely injures us. If we aren’t under contract and we get hurt, we get no financial security, and no help from the company we are working for. So, Hoff and I decided to let the company come to us, which they did, and we promptly entered into contract negotiations. Unfortunately for our fans, this meant that we were pulled from all OAOAST dates from the 14th onwards. The company did not seem to understand where we were coming from, but we knew that they couldn’t prosecute us for not wrestling, because they had allowed our contracts to run out without taking any action to renegotiate. Luckily for us, our fans, and especially the OAOAST, both Hoff and I were able to work out deals that allowed us to wrestle on Sunday’s AngleSlam Pay Per View. We worked, and everything was ok. I can tell you all that Hoff is under full binding contract with the OAOAST. JOSH And what about yourself? Are you saying that you are not under written contract with this company? AXEL Not at all. You see, while Hoff signed an exclusive OAOAST deal, I signed something different. You see Josh, as my contract was winding down, and I was successfully defending my title, I was being contacted by quite a few major companies. These companies offered me some deals to do one-off appearances, or enter into that company for a short amount of time. One of those I am about to announce in a short amount of time. But I weighed up these deals, and I decided that I didn’t want to be in just this company anymore, I wanted to branch out and do as many different things as possible. I’m still OAOAST born and bred, and I won’t ever leave this company completely, but I’m just spreading myself a little further. I signed a contract for the OAOAST to work a number of times in the following year, but not so many times that I cannot work for anywhere else. I have enough free time on my schedule to work other companies and other dates, and I will do so. I am doing this with the blessing of Bill Watts and OAOAST Management, along with my brothers in the locker room. JOSH Wow. So where will you be working? AXEL (laughs) Well Josh, I can’t tell you some of my dates, because I don’t want to spoil anything just yet, but I can make one announcement, that concerns the OAOAST and its partners. I will be participating in my first ever ‘shoot fight’ on September 15th in Japan, for the newest Ultimate Fighting Competition, and the OAOAST’s newest partner, Knock Out Ultimate Fighting, or the K-O-U-F. Having travelled to Japan and trained in Dojos across the country, I decided that this was something that I wanted to do, so I began training in Dojos here in America with some of the top fighters that the world has to offer. JOSH What are your areas of specialty in the fighting arena? AXEL I used to do some amateur wrestling in Australia a couple years ago, although I wouldn’t call it a specialty. When I first arrived in this country three years ago now, I began training in Mixed Martial Arts, learning throws, submissions, as well as basic fighting techniques. JOSH Why haven’t we seen these influences in your in-ring style? AXEL It’s taken me three years to become proficient in these styles, and with my wrestling experience I felt that it was better to keep the two apart, as they are two completely different animals. Who knows? You might see some of that influence after my first fight. JOSH What can we expect from your first fight? AXEL Well I’m fighting another guy in this first Ultimate fight, a amateur wrestler by the name of Ray James. I wouldn’t expect it to be anything phenomenal, because hell, this is a whole new ballgame. This takes a different kind of energy than the one I feel when I step into the ring against a superstar the calibre of a Hoff, or a Drek Stone. The crowd is a lot less of a factor in an ultimate fight, and it’s more about survival and instinct than trying to get the guy down for a three. I think the fight will be more submission-based due to his amateur style, and I can guarantee that it’ll be over quickly, either way. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Just so the fans know, the fight will be shown live from Japan on HeldDown on the 15th, two weeks from now. JOSH And when will you be back in an OAOAST ring? AXEL Soon Josh, soon. To all the fans out there who are wondering what my take on this whole ‘war’ that’s brewing is, I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough. JOSH Well, that’s two weeks from now, Live on HeldDown, Axel, in his first ultimate fight, taking on Ray James. Thanks again Axel AXEL It’s all good. JOSH Back to you guys! COLE What an announcement by Axel! In an ultimate fight, in two weeks! COACH Big night for him, and you can see it right here on HeldDown! We'll be back! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* The crowd is beside itself as Hoff hoists Axel up overhead...but Axel flips over and lands on his feet! Hoff turns, and Axel grabs him and scoops him onto his shoulder, setting him in a tombstone position!! COLE GOOD LORD! Axel has Hoff set for Dark Royalty!!!! No one has EVER kicked out of this! CABOOSE Five minutes ago, we could have said the same thing about Hoff's Future Shock!! COLE We are about to see the end!!! Axel sets Hoff on his shoulder.......but Hoff kicks his legs and slides off of Axel's shoulder....landing with his arm around Axel's neck!!!!! COLE LOOK AT THIS!!!! The crowd hits a new level as Hoff grabs Axel, lifting him up....and DRIVING him to the mat with the FUTURE SHOCK!!! COACH HE GOT HIM AGAIN!! COLE The SECOND Future Shock!! Will it be enough!! CABOOSE NO!! Hoff, slowly, painfully, swings his legs free, rolls onto Axel, and hooks the champion's leg!! ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!! THREE!!!!!! *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE HE DID IT!! Re-live AngleSlam. Order the replay, all this week on Pay Per View. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted September 1, 2005 (edited) The camera cuts to the OAOAST’s favorite metrosexual, Josh “J. Math” Matthews, who is standing in the interview set, wearing the best in metrosexual wear! JOSH MATTHEWS Folks, I’m standing right next to the man, who, last Sunday, turned his back on Dan Black and the OAOAST Originals, OAOAST Corporate member, and manager of Tha Puerto Rican, Stephen Joseph Popick. Big Poppa Popick himself appears next to “J. Math”. The crowd BOOS the moment he appears. Popick has a sly smirk on his face. POPICK Hey, Josh, what’s poppin’? J. MATH Mr. Popick, you have requested this interview time to make an announcement. POPICK Indeed I have, Josh. So, if you don’t mind, scram! I got something to say. Popick grabs Josh’s mic and shoves him off the interview set. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Now, fans, you all know that everything I do, I do for you, right? CROWD BOOOOOO!!! SJP Well, I do. Honestly. So, that is why I requested this time. You see, last Sunday at AngleSlam 2005, we all saw Hoff dethrone Axel to become the new World Heavyweight Champion. And that’s all well and good, and it was a great match, and blah, blah, blah, yadda-yadda-yadda. Anyway, during the match, Michael Cole made a comment on how the Axel/Hoff feud was an incredible feud. And that made think about another great feud in OAOAST history: the feud between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa. The crowd pops at this remark. SJP (CONT’D) Now, you all remember this feud right? One of the greatest feuds in OAOAST history? The feud that dominated IntenseZone, MY show, for a whole year? The feud that gave us not one, but TWO memorable matches in the AngleMania III mat classic, and the Living Anglelously 2004 No Holds Barred brawl? Well, after I heard Michael Cole say what he said, I thought to myself, “You know what would be great? What would be phat? If Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa locked up in the ring once again.” So, I called up Mad Cappa, who’s been out with an injury since March. I said, “Hey.” He said, “Fuck off.” I said, “How would you like to fight Tha Puerto Rican again?” He said, “Fuck off.” I said, “It would be for the 24/7 Title.” He said, “I’m listening.” So, we talked things over. It turns out that Cappa is back at 100% and is ready to go. And he will return to the OAOAST next week! Why, you ask? Because, since I love each and every one of you fans, on next week’s HeldDOWN~!, for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Championship. It’s going to be the champion, MY Corporate Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, going up against his greatest rival, The Mad Cappa, one-on-one once again! How’s that? COLE Hey. That doesn’t sound so bad! CABOOSE I’ll drink to that! POPICK So, there you go. That’s all I have to say. Next week: PRL/Mad Cappa one-on-one once again! That’ll give Calvin Szechstein the huge ratings he craves for sure! So, goodbye! Popick leaves the interview set. A few seconds later, he returns. POPICK Oh shoot. I almost forgot. Fuck me? FUCK YOU! Popick flashes a smile and then leaves. (Cut back to Sofa Central with Triple C~!) COLE I don’t believe it! The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican are going to lock up once again for the 24/7 Title! COACH Next week’s HeldDOWN~! is going to be huge! The Mad Cappa/Puerto Rican rivalry is one of the OAOAST’s most memorable feuds. These two have given fans memories to last a lifetime! Everytime PRL and Cappa go at it, you know you’re going to see something great! CABOOSE I don’t know who to cheer for. I like PRL, but Cappa has gotten SO much better since the last time he fought Tha Puerto Rican. Oy, I’m torn! COLE You’ll have a whole week to decide whom to cheer for. The 24/7 Title will be on the line, as PRL and Mad Cappa add yet another chapter to their classic rivalry Thursday, September 8th on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! For the first time since April 2004, it’s going to be “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican vs. The Mad Cappa, this time for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Championship, and it’s happening right here, next week on HeldDOWN~! COACH LIVE! SUKAZ~! COLE Okay, coming up next, the crowning of a new OAOAST Women's Champion in our special Main Event Gauntlet Match. Countouts and disqualification, as well as pinfalls and submissions of course are ways to be eliminated. When one competitor is eliminated, the next female enters until all six have been in and only one, undisputed Women's Champion remains. CABOOSE Which is a GREAT idea on General Manager Calvin Szechstein's part... COLE Really? CABOOSE Yeah...if you're number six! If you're number one or two, it's a horrible idea. Let's face it, for one of these two to be champion, they've got to win five times. And not just beat five opponents...but beat five, fresh opponents, with no rest period what-so-ever. I tell ya, whoever drew one and two, they won't stand a chance tonight. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...your following contest is the 6 Woman GAUNTLET MATCH to crown a new, undisputed OAOAST World Women's Championship! On cue, referee Bryce Remsburg holds the Women's Title in the air. ("Bloody Murderer" by Cursive suddenly starts up, to to jeers from the crowd. Crawling through the curtains on her knees, entrant number one Confusia stops at the top of the stage and adjusts her mask. Before suddenly leaping to her feet and charging crazily down the aisle, gabbling away to herself in some sort of mysterious language. Running around the ring, Confusia eventually stops and leaps to the apron, entering the ring and immediately dropping into her knees in the corner.) BUFFER Introducing first, entrant number one. From the "Middle Of Nowhere". She weighs in at one hundred, sixty four pounds...this is CCOOOOONNN - FFFUUUUUSSSSIIIIIAAAAAAAAAA!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Certainly an unorthodox competitor, Confusia. And she has the bad luck of the draw as she's one of the first two ladies to enter this Gauntlet, meaning that to become Women's Champion, Confusia will have to defeat all five other opponents. CABOOSE A tough task for anyone...especially if they're as mentally challenged as Confusia seems to be. "OLE, OLEOLEOLE, OLE, OLE!" "OLE, OLEOLEOLE, OLE, OLE!" "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLEEEEEEEE!!! OLEOLEOLE, OLE, OLE!" (The crowd cheer as "Ole" by The Bouncing Souls hits and El Chica Genérico bounds through the curtains. With great enthusiasm, she thrusts a finger to the sky and shouts out "OLE!" before jogging on down the aisle. Confusia remains motionless knelt in the corner, staring blankly into space. Tagging some hands, Genérico waits for the music to run on before entering the ring, 'flying' around Buffer and a confused referee Remsburg, waiting for the next big "OLE!" to point to the rafters again.) BUFFER And, entrant number two. From Tijuana, Mexico. Weighing in at one hundred, twenty one pounds. The Generic Lady Luchador... EEEELLL CCHHHHIIICCCAAAAAA... GGEEEEEENNÉÉÉÉÉRRRRRRRIIIIICCCCOOOOOOO!!!! "YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH This must be OAOAST Women's Division Brain-Trust, huh? COLE Well, El Chica Genérico, entrant number two, another rather unorthodox competitor. Two very odd masked females set to start out this Gauntlet Match. CABOOSE Like I said, numbers one and two don't stand a chance. That's even more true now, considering who one and two actually are. The only chance they have is to go for a quick win in at least the first three matches. Genérico removes her cape, passing it to a worker at ringside. Still Confusia stares forwards at nothing in particular, not moving a muscle, as Genérico is ready to go. Referee Bryce Remsburg glances at Confusia, trying to see if there's anything wrong. But he can't figure the weird female out, so decides just to ring the bell. *DINGDINGDING!* CONFUSIA BLLLLAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! Suddenly, Confusia bursts into life, charging out of the corner at full speed. Genérico sidesteps her though, causing Confusia to comically run sternum first into the turnbuckles. Winded, Confusia turns around slowly. Genérico meets her with a forearm...a second...and a third, before attempting an irish whip. Confusia spins out, ending up in front of Genérico and charges with a wild clothesline. Easily Genérico ducks and Confusia hurtles towards the buckles again. But this time, she manages to put on the brakes, pointing to her temple and mumbling something about being a 'gene-ass'. Only to get dropkicked in the back by Genérico, knocking her through the ropes and to the floor. COLE So much for the brains of Confusia. COACH Sh'yeah! Her brains wouldn't fill an egg-cup! Confusia stumbles around on the floor, as Genérico exits to the apron. Looking over her shoulder, she waits for the right moment, before leaping her feet over the top rope and tumbling back onto Confusia with an Arabian Press Suicidá (Split Legged Moonsault to the floor)!! "YYYYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Pulling herself up, Genérico grabs Confusia by the head and starts to pick her up. "ONE!" The count begins meanwhile from Remsburg, as Genérico continues to haul Confusia up. Until Confusia grabs her suddenly by the front of her tights and pulls her forwards, sending Genérico face-first into the ring apron!! Genérico recoils, holding her face and kicking her legs in agony. As beside her, Confusia begins to shake off the cobwebs. "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Confusia hears the count. Whether she understands it or not is a different matter, but she hears it. Dragging Genérico to her feet, Confusia throws Genérico back in before Remsburg can reach a count of five. Confusia rolls back in herself, grabbing a front facelock on Genérico. With the facelock held, Confusia drags Genérico into the centre of the ring and takes her over with a quick vertical suplex. Hitting the ropes, the mysterious female then leaps into the air, dropping a big leg across Genérico's windpipe! Leaving the leg draped, Confusia waits as Remsburg counts the makeshift pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Lifting up her leg again, Confusia slams it back down across Genérico's throat, again demanding a count... 1... 2... Kickout. Confusia pulls up Genérico again. Genérico is looking dazed, as the permanantly dazed Confusia whips her across the ropes, ducking as Genérico runs back and hoisting her into a fireman's carry. Confusia then turns... ...and turns... ...and continues turning, whirling around with an Airplane Spin~! The crowd begin to count along with the rotations, getting to 7 before Genérico slumps off of a dizzy Confusia's shoulders. But Confusia keeps spinning, unable to gain her balance. After a couple of solo rotations, Confusia manages to stop herself and charges. Missing the lying Genérico completely though, Confusia ends up running herself right past Remsburg and face-first into the top turnbuckle! COLE Confusia made herself dizzy with that Airplane Spin and I don't think she has a clue where she is at the moment! CABOOSE So what's new? With both Confusia and Genérico down, Bryce shakes off the dizzyness he got from watching the spin and begins to count both women down. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Genérico begins to stir first... "FIVE!" "SIX!" But Confusia suddenly gains her bearings, pulling herself up on the ropes. "SEVEN!" "E.." Confusia is up and Bryce stops his count, Genérico also to her feet. Both women burst forward at the same time. Confusia swings wildly and misses wildly with a clothesline, as Genérico ducks underneath and hits the ropes. As she sprints back though, Confusia has her bearings set right and manages to clothesline the lighter Genérico clear off her feet!! Still with enough adrenaline to get up relatively quickly, Genérico climbs back to her feet. But Confusia meets her with a boot to the gut, hitting the ropes at the side and slamming a boot into the side of Genérico's head that knocks her loopy, causing her to flop to the canvas. Putting on the brakes at the ropes, Confusia yells some more nonsensical words at the fans, before taking Genérico by the mask and hair, dragging her back up into a standing headscissors. CONFUSIA UNCANNYILLUSIONHAMMAAAA!! COLE She's going for the Uncanny Illu... CABOOSE We heard her, dumbass. With the crowd all knowing what she's setting up, Confusia reaches down and lifts Genérico's 121 pounds up and over her shoulder. Genérico manages to slide down the back though, countering on a confused Confusia with a backslide... 1... 2... Kickout! Getting up first, Confusia drives her knee into Genérico's midsection. That slows the female luchador down, also allowing Confusia to step behind her opponent and drive a double sledge to the kidneys. An agonished Genérico drops to her knees, clutching her lower back. Confusia pulls right back up again though, delivering another double sledge. As Genérico grimaces in pain, Confusia lets her get to her feet before reaching around the head, hooking an arm around Genérico's throat. She then yanks back and brings Genérico crashing down across a knee with a modified backbreaker. "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Man, what an unorthodox but effective backbreaker! As Genérico bounces off of the knee, Confusia is already pressing her to the mat for a pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Confusia yells incoherently at referee Bryce Remsburg, unable to believe she only scored 2 again. Meanwhile, Genérico is rallying the crowd, getting them to clap away by slamming her fist into the mat. Hearing the growing rhythmical claps, Confusia gazes around the crowd, trying to figure out what the hell they're actually doing...as all the while, Genérico is recovering. Back to her feet, Genérico holds her back still as Confusia throws a forearm. That staggers Genérico back, but the ropes rebound her and she throws a desperate palm strike in return. Confusia stumbles, before throwing another forearm. But again she gets a palm strike back. So Confusia nails a boot to the gut and whips Genérico into the ropes, ducking her head early...and allowing Genérico to tumble over top with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! Rolling through and back up, Confusia tries another boot to the gut. This time it's caught, Genérico holding the foot and pulling Confusia out into the centre of the ring. Suddenly, Confusia throws out her standing foot...but Genérico sees the Enziguri coming and ducks. Confusia lands on her face right in front of Genérico, who quickly runs over Confusia's back, bouncing off the ropes in front and skidding in with a basement dropkick to the top of the head! GENÉRICO OLE! COACH HOLLA~! With her second wind firmly driving her on, The Generic Lady Luchador leaves the ring and scales the turnbuckles towards the top rope. Slowly Confusia gets to her feet, but not in time to spot Genérico, who launches off the top with a crossbody block, taking Confusia over... 1... ...but Confusia kicks her legs and floats over, landing on top of Genérico... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!" COLE So close for Confusia, but Genérico just got out in time! Confusia comes at Genérico with another wild clothesline, which this time Genérico laces an arm under, ducking behind Confusia and applying a waistlock. A lift fails though. And again, Genérico unable to lift the heavier Confusia. So she instead charges towards the ropes, looking for a Tijuana Roll. Confusia grasps the top rope, pushing Genérico backwards to counter. Genérico rolls straight back to her feet though, waiting for Confusia to charge headlong in at her before leapfrogging... ...STRAIGHT INTO A DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE *cough*omgbetterthanhoff's*cough* COLE Woah! Where the hell did she learn how to do that? As Genérico lies motionless in front of her, Confusia wearily pushes up to her feet. And, for some reason, does Axel's Crucifix pose, to a pop from the crowd. A reaction which Confusia seems confused by, gawping blankly at the fans before finally going back to the match at hand. Still Genérico is motionless, as Confusia drags her up and placing her in a standing headscissors. CONFUSIA UNCANNYILLUSIONHAMMAAAAA!! COLE She's going for the Uncanny Illu... CABOOSE Shut up you idiot!! The call is the same as always as Confusia lifts up Genérico. Only difference this time is, Genérico doesn't escape. Up in the Canadian Backbreaker position, Genérico finally realises where she is. But by then it's too late, as Confusia starts to twirl around, throwing Genérico off and catching her with the Uncanny Illusion Hammer (Whirlybird Ace Crusher)!!! The crowd groan in disappointment, as Confusia slumps over Genérico and hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDING!* BUFFER El Chica Genérico has been eliminated! No sooner has the announcement been made, then "Seether" by Veruca Salt hits...and one half of the Minnesota Angels, Valerie hits the ring. And hits the ring running, forgetting all about the strutting and preening she usually does and sliding into the ring to jump Confusia from behind! *DINGDING!* COLE Valerie is in and she is wasting no time in going on the offensive on Confusia!! CABOOSE Smart move by a smart lady! There's no rest periods. Why waste time when you can get in the ring and gain an advantage on a weakened opponent? Valerie continues the onslaught on Confusia, stomping her to the mat as El Chica Genérico is helped from the ring. The vicious Valerie only stops kicking to yell at Bryce Remsburg, who is busy reprimanding her for the sneak attack, before going right back to the stomps. Confusia crawls to the ropes in the middle of the kicks and pulls herself up on the ropes. Grabbed immediately by Valerie though, who whips Confusia across the ring and catches her on the rebound with a standing dropkick. The crowd boo, but the usual cockiness is forgotten by Valerie, scrambling to make a quick cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Bringing up Confusia, Valerie executes a suplex, placing Confusia right by the turnbuckles. She then climbs to the middle rope and measures Confusia, coming off with fist drop between the eyes...and making another quick pinfall attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! VALERIE Damnit Bryce, COUNT! COLE Man, Valerie is hot tonight. COACH You're tellin' me! COLE I mean hot tempered Coach. Get your mind out of your crotch, please. Valerie rains down with some more stomps on Confusia, before dropping to her knees in her frustration and applying a blatant choke! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Valerie breaks just in time, earning a warning from referee Remsburg. CABOOSE Sure, NOW he counts fast. As Confusia gets to her feet, Valerie meets her coming with a knee to the gut. Valerie then drags Confusia out from the ropes, snapmaring her over and dropping a knee into the sternum area. Some comical moans and groans escape Confusia, as she's pulled back down and given a second knee across the chest. Finally, some of the cockiness has returned to Valerie, turning to the crowd and making the "belt motion" before reaching down and dragging Confusia back to her feet. Already winded, no favours are done to Confusia as Val trips her so she lands throat first across the middle rope...and then draped her leg over Confusia's head, choking her some more. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" Valerie breaks on three, but only because she has something else in mind. Coming off the opposite ropes, Valerie dives forward with her leg aloft... ...but Confusia moves, and Valerie lands astraddle the middle rope!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE Oh no! COACH Right in THE OVARIES~! COLE How long have you been waiting to say that? COACH Months! Hopping off the middle rope in noticeable discomfort, Valerie hobbles after Confusia. She swings, but misses, Confusia ducking low and executing an Inverted Atomic Drop that only compounds Valerie's pain and misery! And, just to add insult to injury, Confusia decides not follow up again and instead hops from foot to foot in front of Valerie, mocking her moaning. Valerie eventually recovers enough to clothesline out at Confusia. But she ducks, waiting for Valerie to rebound off the ropes and lifting her into a Rydeen Bomb... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd are beginning to get behind the wacky Confusia, as Valerie gets slowly to her feet. Confusia is waiting behind and goes for a back suplex. Over the back floats Valerie, landing on her feet behind Confusia and pushing her off into the ropes. As Confusia rushes back, Valerie tries to take her out with a clothesline. Confusia ducks though, hooking the arm into a half nelson and spinning Valerie around... CONFUSIA BRRRRING-RING-RING-BA-NA-NA-PHONE!! COACH BANANAPHONE!! ...INTO A ROLL-UP... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Only two on the Bananaphone Roll-up! I can't believe she didn't get three on that devestating move! CABOOSE ... Both women get to their feet, Confusia on the attack with a knee to the gut. Valerie doubles over and quickly, Confusia underhooks an arm, looking to do the same with the second. Keeping her arm out of reach, Valerie manages to twist out and reverse. A Russian Legsweep is countered though, as Confusia rolls backwards, keeping Valerie's leg wrapped around hers into a pinning predicament... 1... 2... Valerie kicks out! Both women scramble up and Confusia instinctively ducks, allowing Valerie to leapfrog over Confusia and rush the ropes. Confusia swings out with an elbow, but Valerie ducks under, continuing her run. Again an elbow...again a duck. On runs Valerie and this time she tumbles forward, wiping out Confusia with a diving clothesline! Confusia flops around on the mat holding her throat, while Valerie gives a verbal ear-bashing to Bryce Remsburg for some reason. Valerie then comes off the ropes again, dropping down with a (not so) big splash on Confusia...WHO GETS THE KNEES UP!! The wind rushes out of Valerie and she rolls away holding her gut, while Confusia stalks over and hooks Valerie under the armpits, hauling her off the canvas. She then applies a waistlock, taking Valerie up and switching her around, across the knee with a gutbuster. Valerie is left even more winded now, as Confusia pulls her in. CONFUSIA UNCANNYILLUSIONHAMMAAAAA!! COLE She's going for the Unca... CABOOSE *glares* COLE Nevermind. Confusia reaches down to pull Valerie up, but she's prepared and snaps her right leg up, mule-kicking Confusia over the head! Staggering away, Confusia is dis-orientated, long enough for Valerie to connect with a boot to the gut and pumphandle the arm. Before Valerie can complete the V-Spot though, Confusia elbows up repeatedly, forcing Valerie to break the hold and stumble away. Once she gains her bearings though, Valerie rushes back over, trying for the pumphandle again. Confusia again elbows her way out though, stepping out of the pumphandle and pulling Valerie in by the arm into a Northern Lights Suplex... 1... 2... Kickout!! Clambering back up, a disbelieving Confusia starts to reminstrate with the referee...again, in a way that makes absolutely no sense to anyone at all. Remsburg tries to make some sense of it all. But in the meantime, Valerie is recovering behind Confusia, snatching on a headlock from out of nowhere. Valerie turns towards the turnbuckles and scales the ropes one by one, springing off with a Swinging Bulldo...NO, countered by Confusia, throwing Valerie off into the middle of the ring! Valerie lands hard on her ass, favouring it as she gets to her feet. Capitalising, Confusia punches Valerie in the BUTT, before grabbing her by the hair...warbling...and driving a headbutt into Val's forehead! COLE Big headbutt! These women aren't afraid to take a beating and they're certainly not afraid to dish such punishment out. Valerie falls to a seated position, grimacing and holding her forehead. Rushing past her, Confusia hits the ropes in front with mad screaming a-plenty and hits the Panic Attack (Running Knee to seated opponent), knocking Valerie even more loopy! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And if Valerie didn't have a headache from the headbutt, she certainly does now! CABOOSE This isn't good. With her opponent down, Confusia crawls and makes a cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Again Confusia argues with the referee for a moment, before dragging up Valerie and rearing back with her right arm...AND APPLYING THE IRON CLAW!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!" Dramatically Valerie flails in the Claw as Confusia nods in approval of her move, clamping down on Valerie's face with real venom. But Valerie reaches back, finding that she's close to the ropes and grabbing the middle rope! Remsburg quickly demands a break from Confusia, who doesn't seem to understand. So Bryce forces the break himself. Confusia tries to strggle with Bryce, but that distracts her from Valerie, who trips out Confusia's legs and folds her onto her shoulders... 1... FEET ON THE ROPES 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit, Valerie steals the win! *DINGDING!* BUFFER Confusia has been eliminated! COLE Valerie advances, but my word was it desperate! CABOOSE Ha! She outsmarted Confusia and I guess that really shouldn't come as a surprise. COLE She used the ropes Caboose. I wouldn't call that outsmarting anyone, I'd say it was out-cheating someone. CABOOSE Hey, you do what you have to do to win. "ANY WAY YOU WANT IT! THAT'S THE WAY YOU NEED IT! ANY WAY YOU WANT IT!" The suddenly come un GLUED~!, as "Any Way You Want It" by Rise Against hits! COLE Aw, here we go! Ashley Street, making in-ring return tonight after a car accident suffered in the month of June, which robbed her of her rightful spot in the Women's Title Tournament Final. What a huge night it is for her tonight! CABOOSE Then where is she? COLE Well, she's...THERE! The crowd part as Ashley Street emerges through the fans behind Valerie, who's busy staring towards the entrance way. Hopping over the barricade, Ashley slides into the ring. Valerie still hasn't seen Ashley and still doesn't, right up until Ashley charges her into the ropes and takes her over into an Indiana Roll... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Valerie has been eliminated! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE Wait, NO! That's not FAIR!! COLE "Hey, you do what you have to do to win.", right 'Boose? CABOOSE You are so lucky I don't have my cricket bat with me right now! In the ring, Valerie goes spare, as Ashley scrambles out of her crazed path and waves Valerie goodbye with a smirk. Ashley lounges on the ropes, watching as Valerie is escorted from the ring. Meanwhile, "Seether" by Veruca Salt hits again, heralding the arrival of Valerie's tag team partner Constance...who seems just as pissed off as her partner does. Constance storms to the ring and right past Valerie, who slaps her partner on the shoulder and screams at her to "Make that bitch pay". Still, this is all great amusement to Ashley, who waits for Constance to slide into the ring before storming off the ropes and catching her coming in with a barrage of foreaarms! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDING!* Ashley continues to club away on Constance, who decides the best thing to do is roll out of the ring and to the safety of the arena floor. But that doesn't stay safe for long, as Ashley rolls right out after her and goes after Constance again. A hard forearm sends Constance staggering backwards. Another forearm, and Constance falls off her feet, scampering away on hands and knees. COLE Ashley Street is fired up tonight! She wants this World Women's Title, but she's also glad to be back in action finally. As Constance tries to get away, Ashley grabs her by the arm to stop her getting away. She then pulls Constance up, grabbing her by the hair... *DOOSH!* ...and slams her head into the top of the steel steps! Constance sprawls forward over the steps and rolls down, bumping off each step in turn. Meanwhile, Ashley climbs up the steps, standing over Constance. Slowly Constance gets back up, looking around for Ashley. And finding her leaping off the steps and driving a double axehandle over Constance's head. ASHLEY C'MOOOOOOONNN!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Constance gets dragged up and into the ring by Ashley, who slides in after her. Bringing Constance to her feet, Ashley then grabs her by the arm and sends him flying across the ring with an irish whip. Back shoots Constance, spotting a duck of the head from Ashley and countering her backbody drop attempt with a Swinging Neckbreaker! The first bump back from injury proves a heavy one to take for Ashley, holding her neck and groaning in pain. Constance meanwhile brings herself to her feet, checking her head for any war wounds. Finding nothing, Constance helps Ashley to her feet. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!!" And rocks her with a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!!" And another. *SLAP!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Before slapping the taste out of Ashley's mouth! Ashley rocks back on the ropes clutching her reddened jaw, as Constance boots Ashley in the gut before whipping her off the ropes. A back elbow puts Ashley down, Constance making a pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Frustrated, Constance takes a page from her partner's book and applies a choke. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FO..." Constance breaks the choke and grabs Ashley by the hair, pulling her up and slamming an elbow into the back of Ashley's neck. Ashley drops to her knees weakly. Stepping to the side, Constance applies a cravaté and twists up on the neck. Ashley clenches her fists and tries to fight back to her feet. Constance tightens the cravaté though, then brings Ashley over to the corner and slams Constance's head into the top turnbuckle with the hold on the neck still applied. COLE A firm focus from Constance here as she tries to work on Ashley's neck. But instead of this slow build, she might be better served going for the kill early, because the winner of this match still has to deal with Molly Matthews straight afterwards. Keeping the cravaté on, Constance turns back to the centre of the ring and presses her foot in the back of Ashley's knee. Eventually, Ashley is forced onto one knee, giving Constance more leverage to work with. Which doesn't help much as Ashley starts to throw elbows back into the stomach of the Minnesota Angel. Eventually Constance releases the cravaté, instead applying a side headlock. Ashley goes to the gut again though, then bringing Constance into the ropes and shooting her across the ring. On the way back, Constance suddenly drops down, prompting Ashley to run and vault over her. Ashley now comes off the ropes, throwing out a Yakuza Kick... ...ducked by Constance, who grabs Ashley's head and snaps her down with a Neckbreaker across her right knee!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Ashley remains seated after the short ride and the bad landing, but is quickly pulled back up by Constance, into a standing headscissors. COLE Package Piledriver! She's going for the Package Piledriver! CABOOSE And when this hits, it will be over! Underhooking one arm, Constance tries for the other. Ashley fights it but finds her arm hooked anyway. So she suddenly lifts back and backdrops Constance over, bridging on top with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Constance has been eliminated! CABOOSE Damnit what the hell!?! Constance kicks out seconds too late, rolling to her knees in shock as Ashley weakly raises an arm to salute her victory. Referee Remsburg confirms it was three and Constance goes nuts, kicking away at the ropes and turnbuckles in a hissy-fit of a rage. But that's not good enough. So instead, she decides to take her frustration out on Ashley, pulling her into a knee to the gut and butterflying the arms. COLE Hey, no! You lost damnit Constance! Somebody get her out of here. The crowd are booing wildly, as Constance folds Ashley up into the box while picking her up off the canvas...and SPIKING her on her head with the Package Piledriver!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CABOOSE There we go! Package Piledriver, the most deadly move in the Women's Division today! COLE That was totally uncalled for! CABOOSE After all the cheating Ashley did? She cheated to beat Valerie. She cheated to beat Constance. She deserved it. Ashley lies motionless on the canvas as Constance suddenly scampers from the ring, only just avoiding Molly Matthews diving in full speed after her. Backing away with a smirk, Constance makes her exit, while Molly checks on her soon to be opponent's condition. *DINGDING!* COLE Well, there's a bell. And we've got Molly Matthews versus Ashley Street now, the final of the Gauntlet, for the Women's Title. But I don't know if Ashley is going to be in any condition to compete here. She just got dropped straight on her head with that brutal Package Piledriver. Molly backs away from Ashley and doesn't look in any rush to start the match, knowing her opponent is hurt. Bryce seems concerned about Ashley, who is just now coming back to her senses. "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" With the crowd cheering her on, Ashley tries to get back up as best possible. Her neck is clearly bothering her, but defiantly she makes it to her feet, without the help of Remsburg who stands beside her. Molly watches on meanwhile, as Ashley turns...and tells her to "bring it". COLE Ashley isn't backing down! She wants to fight, bad neck and all! COACH She's either real brave or real dumb. I can't figure out which right now though. Molly still doesn't seem sure though, so Ashley walks over to her opponent and shoves her in the chest, trying to fire Molly up into action. Not knowing what to make of it, Molly looks at Ashley...who SLAMS a forearm into the side of Molly's head! And another one! Molly staggers back into the corner, as Ashley fires off a couple more forearms and attempts an irish whip. The Floggin' One reverses the whip though, sending Ashley crashing into the opposite turnbuckles! Out staggers Ashley, holding her neck, as Molly charges in and executes a Que Se Dora (Wheelbarrow Armdrag)! Molly then waits as Ashley gingerly gets up, before charging in, looking for another. This time though, Ashley drops to her knees, sitting in with a pinfall... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE So very close! Trying to ignore the pain in her neck, Ashley grabs Molly for another irish whip, this time getting it. Ashley ducks her head too early though. Molly puts on the brakes in front, lacing around the arm and executing a standing La Majistral... 1... 2... Kickout. Both women come up. Molly ducks her head this time expecting a strike, ending up dropped face-first across Ashley's knee with a facebuster! Molly's head snaps up as a result, leaving her wide open for a vicious European Uppercut! CABOOSE Where the hell is she getting this from? She just got dropped on her head a minute ago! Another European Uppercut follows, but Ashley suddenly stops and drops to one knee clutching her neck. CABOOSE There we go. That's more like it. COLE What sort of compassion is that? CABOOSE That's not compassion, that's Caboossion! With Ashley on one knee, Molly looks to take advantage, charging forward and springing off the knee with a Shining Wiza... ...DUCKED!! Molly stumbles forwards, eventually putting the brakes on and turning around, to be met by a Running European Uppercut by Ashley Street, who makes an immediate cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "OOOOOHHHHHHH!!" Dazed but not beaten, Molly catches Ashley on the way up with a forearm to the midsection. And another, allowing her to apply a front facelock. Desperately Ashley charges Molly into the corner, crushing her against the turnbuckles. She then brings Molly back out, taking her over into a Northern Lights Suplex... 1.. But she can't hold the bridge, so has to make a traditional cover... 1... 2... Kickout. COLE The neck wouldn't hold on Ashley Street there. Otherwise she might have had her beat. Favouring her neck, Ashley pulls herself up and encourages Molly to her feet. Up comes Molly, Ashley charging her immediately. But Molly executes a bi paso and sends Ashley hurtling off to the ropes, waiting for her on the way back and intercepting her with a leaping Leg Lariat! Ashley's head snaps back violently and she lies hurt on the mat, while Molly exits the ring and heads up to the top rope. COLE Watch out for Air Molly here! CABOOSE I don't get this move. Why would she go up and take a risk now, when her opponent is clearly there for the beating on the mat? The gutsy Ashley climbs back to her feet, not seeing Molly, who vaults off the top and hooks her legs around Molly's head, snaring her to the side with a beautiful Flying Hurricanrana! Molly lands first, Ashley right on top with the pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Molly despairs at the count, but doesn't let it bother her for too long. Climbing to the middle rope, she waits on Ashley to bring herself up to her feet again. Ashley staggers up, suddenly finding a burst of energy to charge towards Molly in the corner. But Molly times her leap and vaults over the top of Ashley, stomping her in the back with both feet and causing Ashley to crash face and sternum first into the turnbuckles! COLE There's a Mushroom Stomp. Great athleticism by Molly Matthews! As Ashley staggers out of the corner, Molly is right there waiting for her. Applying a courting hold on the near arm, Molly cradles the far arm underneath Ashley's near leg and rolls back, tying up Street in a trademark, wacky pinning cradle... 1... 2... KICKOUT AGAIN!! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!" Sensing her plight, most of the fans are getting behind Ashley now, cheering the kickout as Molly tries to hide her disappoinment. She hides it by going back on the offensive, pulling Ashley into a front facelock and turning her back to the corner. Vaulting to the middle rope, Molly then instantly twists herself and opponent around for a Tornado DDT... ...but Ashley suddenly falls back, dropping Molly face-first onto the top turnbuckle!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Desperation counter...but it looks like it worked!! Molly is loopy, stumbling around like a drunk Irishman on St. Patricks Day (ironically enough). Seeing this, Ashley grits her teeth through the pain in the neck and dives forward, zeroing in on Molly's right knee with a dropkick! Molly is taken off her feet and lands face-first on the mat, pulling herself quickly up to one knee... ...which Ashley vaults off... ...and uses to TOE KICK MOLLY'S FACE OFF!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE SHINING I HATE YOUR FACE!! Out cold, Molly flops backwards, spread eagle and easy pickings for a weary Ashley Street cover... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* The crowd come alive as Bryce Remsburg counts the three and calls for the bell, Ashley rolling off of her opponent and clenching her fists in glee. BUFFER Molly Matthews has been eliminated! Therefore, your winner and survivor of the Gauntlet Match...and NEEEWWW OH AY OH AY ESS TEE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION... AAAAASSSSHHHHLLLLEEEEYYYY... SSSSSSTTTRRRREEEEEEETTT!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE What a victory, for the returning Ashley Street! Overcoming not one, not two but three consecutive matches to capture the vacant OAOAST Women's Title!! She outsmarted Valerie, outsmarted Constance and then after the sneak attack and Package Piledriver by Constance, she fought through one more match! She defeated Molly Matthews. And she earned herself the title she was robbed of the chance to win first time around! CABOOSE I don't know how, I don't really care how to be quite honest...but she won. And I guess I should tip my hat to her. But I'm not wearing one, so balls to that. As tears stream down Ashley's face, Bryce Remsburg drapes the belt over the victor's shoulder and carefully raises her limp arm in the air, to cheer from the crowd. Back to her senses, Molly embraces Ashley. Before remembering she has a bad neck and backing off hurriedly, instead shaking her hand and conceding that she was the better woman on this night. Molly then leaves, as Ashley looks at the belt in her hands...and, still teary eyed, raises it in the air for all to see! COLE What a night! Ashley Street is the new Women's Champion! Tables, Ladders, and Chairs next week! The Sk8er Bois put their titles on the line against the Global Party Exchange, Black T, and the Dream Team of Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez! The Champ will be in the house! Goodnight everybody! *FADE OUT* Edited September 1, 2005 by Nice Guy Adam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted September 1, 2005 (edited) Props: Chuck Woolery Zack Malibu PRL Mystery Eskimo LaParkaYourCar Tony149 Nice Guy Adam Hoff EDIT MUCHO: And Stephen Joseph~! EDIT: And of course, King Cucaracha. Edited September 2, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
