SWF Lockdown 9-28/29-05

[Chuck Woolery 0]

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...

SWF FAMILY FRIENDLY LOCKDOWN! LIVE, WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 28th, FROM THE BURLINGTON MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM IN BURLINGTON, VERMONT!

(5PM PST, 8PM EST; check local listings)

 

** Family Friendly rules are in effect!

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

THE MAIN EVENT - SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

El Luchadore Magnifico © vs. "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu

 

--- Oh damn. Akira could be pulling a Zyon. In his first match in the fed, he took down a veteran in Manson and not quite a veteran but still quite awesome Devon Walters in a Number One Contender's Match - this kid could be going places.

 

If Magnifico has his way, though, the only place Akira will be going to is PAINSVILLE!

 

...

 

I am so sorry for that...

 

Anyway, Magnifico won his 4th World Title at Genesis VI, in one of the finest matches of his career - even with a newcomer like Akira, I doubt he'll be slacking off. Will the rookie pull off the upset of the century, or will Magnifico's hot streak continue?

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

JJ Johnson © vs. Zyon

 

-- Iiiinteresting... JJ and Zyon have tangled a number of times, yet JJ cannot claim to have personally pinned the Unique Youth once. Now that his Cruiserweight Title is on the line, such occurences simply will not do. Will the fourth time be the charm for Johnson, or will the Unique Youth prove once again that the phrase "Pulling a Zyon" is totally deserved?

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

The Nightmare Express (Bruce Blank and Marcus Ward) vs. Jay Hawke and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix

 

-- We needs us some Tag Title Contenders! Apart, Bruce Blank and Marcus Ward have had mixed success, but together, they had an impressive victory over TKO. This victory, along with their declaration on Storm, has earned CC's attention. Tonight, they face the recently allied Landon Maddix and Jay Hawke, who might have visions of Tag Gold dancing in their heads as well...

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

The Crimson Skull vs. Devon Walters

 

-- Because, that's why.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Manson vs. KOJI Kitano

 

-- Icky. Manson's not doing so well as of late. At Genesis VI, he had the chance to earn a World Title shot, but fell short to the newcomer, Akira Kaibatsu - will this loss light a fire under his ass, and propel him into an amazing winning streak of like eight billion straight victories? Or will it be a weight around his neck, dragging him further down into his slump?

 

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

OPENING BOUT

Jimmy the Doom vs. "Big Country" Martin Hunt

 

-- This should be interesting, to say the least.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Chuck Woolery 0]

Family Friendly Lockdown returns from a commercial and honorary cameramen Ben & Jerry pan around the packed Burlington Memorial Auditorium, displaying signs such as "Landon is a Poopy-Head!" and "Crimson Skull Smells Funny!" before coming to rest in front of Suicide King and Longdogger Pete.

 

"Aaaand we're back!" Pete exclaims. "Even though why we need a commercial after every segment is beyond me..."

 

"Yes we are, and we've got the debut match for one Jimmy the Doom right now. Quite a few new faces to the SWF in these past few months."

 

"And just about all of them have been very impressive so far. That puts some pressure on Jimmy to succeed, and that pressure is in no way lessened with his first opponent, Martin 'Big Country' Hunt," Pete adds.

 

"That's true, Pete. Martin's no pushover, and should be a good test to see what Jimmy the Doom can do," King replies.

 

The lights suddenly go out, the arena plunges into near-darkness, and figures can be seen at the top of the entrance ramp. Two columns of druid-looking people march down, chanting the same word over and over, "Doom". The figures walk down the ramp, two single-file lines, and as they get to the ring, head in opposite directions. They completely surround the ring, leaving only the area directly in front of the ramp clear. Just as quickly, the lights snap back on, the chanting ceases, and the familiar, if unnamable sounds of Boots Randolph's "Yakety Sax" blares over the speakers.

 

"Say, Pete, isn't that the Benny Hill theme?"

 

"You know, I think it is. Maybe it's some sort of mix-up in the sound booth. I really can't imagine someone with the name of Jimmy the Doom having music like this, especially not with that earlier entrance," says the Longdogger.

 

"Yeah, but what kind of name is Jimmy the Doom? That sounds pretty lame."

 

Jimmy the Doom and Lois the Unethical make their way down the ramp, and it's pretty obvious that there is no mix-up with the music. Jimmy slides into the ring, takes off his alpine hat, and tosses it to Lois outside the ring.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied by Lois the Unethical, hailing from Doomopolis, Doomtopia, JIIIMMMYYY THE DOOOOM!" Funyon booms.

 

"Doomtopia? Yeah, that makes sense," Pete says, shaking his head.

 

"Just because you aren't cultured and don't travel doesn't mean that a country you've never heard of doesn't exist," King replies.

 

"Oh, so you've been to Doomtopia?"

 

"Of course I have. It's near Zirconia."

 

"Zirconia?"

 

"Yes. Where do you think Cubic Zirconiums come from?" King asks.

 

"You know, King, I'd expect this from...actually, I don't know who'd go to these levels to get a lie to be believed."

 

The zany sounds of "Yakety Sax" abruptly end, and are replaced with the twang of Hank Williams Jr's "A Country Boy Can Survive". Martin Hunt takes a step onto the ramp before being yanked back. He's quickly shoved back out, fuming over something. 'Big Country' saunters down the ramp, taunting fans, and opening up the bottle in his hand. He takes a big gulp and nearly spits it out. He looks at what he thought was Southern Comfort, but it's been replaced with Mott's apple juice. Hunt takes out his frustration over being deprived of sweet, sweet hooch by chucking the bottle at the nearest druid, dropping him like a rock.

 

THWACK!

 

"Nice shot by Martin Hunt! He nailed that druid," King says, obviously pleased.

 

"I don't know how nice it will seem once he gets fined for it," Pete replies.

 

"And his opponent. He weighs in at two hundred, twenty pounds, and is from Boone, North Carolina, MAAARTIN 'BIIIG COOOUNTRRRRY' HUNT!" Funyon roars.

 

Referee Harold Dean checks both men for illegal items, finds none, and motions for both men to shake hands, as stated by Family Friendly Lockdown rules. Jimmy seems eager to shake hands, while Martin takes some cajoling, but eventually hands are shook and Dean calls for the bell to be rung with a mighty "YAAAAA!"

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Hunt and Jimmy quickly lock up, collar and elbow style, Martin gets smacked with a mighty headbutt. Jimmy the Doom lashes out with another headbutt, but cannot land a third as Hunt violently shoves the Doomtopian away and into the ropes. Jimmy rushes back but is knocked flat with a clothesline. Hunt drops to make a cover, but Jimmy is already rolling away and climbing to his feet.

 

"That was some shot Jimmy the Doom took, but he's right back on his feet. He might be a pretty tough individual to put away," Pete says.

 

"Oh, come on, MacDougal! That wasn't Manson or Va'aiga knocking his head off, it was just Martin Hunt. Let me see him shake off a Landon Maddix Shining Wizard, and then we'll talk about his toughness," King shoots back.

 

'Big Country' gets to his feet and drives an uppercut into Jimmy's gut, but the man from Doomopolis simply spins around and cracks Martin with a back elbow. Jimmy shunts Hunt into the ropes and blasts him with a palm strike to the face.

 

CRACK!

 

Jimmy takes a step back and lets loose with a kick to the jaw. Jimmy shoots Martin back into the ropes and snatches 'Big Country' off his feet. The Doomtopian spins him around and drops Hunt with an inverted atomic drop. Martin stumbles backwards while Jimmy leaps and turns, delivering a tornado headbutt.

 

THUNK!

 

"Nice moves by Jimmy the Doom. He's really taking it to Martin 'Big Country' Hunt with those headbutts," Pete says.

 

"Yeah, but I don't think that will last very long. Headbutts take their toll on both wrestlers," King adds.

 

Martin Hunt staggers back even further and has to grasp the ropes in order to remain on his feet. Jimmy the Doom stalks after 'Big Country', but is caught off-guard as Hunt launches himself towards Jimmy and knocks him down with a dropkick. Now it's Jimmy's turn to stumble backwards into the ropes, and as he bounces off, Martin scrambles up and drops Jimmy with a belly-to-belly suplex, staying down for a pin.

 

One!

 

 

T-No!

 

"Nice suplex from Martin Hunt, but it wasn't enough to put Jimmy the Doom away."

 

"Obviously, MacDougal, as the bell isn't ringing."

 

'Big Country' pulls the Doom up by his hair and roughly shoves him into a front facelock before falling backwards with a DDT. Martin shifts his weight and clambers atop Jimmy the Doom's back and beginst raining down blows on Jimmy's head. Harold Dean quickly tries to intervene, but Jimmy solves the problem himself by rolling over. Before Hunt has a chance to press his advantage, Dean gets in his face and warns him about using closed fists, especially on Lockdown. 'Big Country' promptly ignores the Yankee and heads right back towards a standing Jimmy the Doom.

 

"Martin Hunt might want to watch his actions, otherwise he'll find his paycheck a little smaller this week," Pete notes.

 

"All that would mean for him is he won't be able to get completely hammered," King points out.

 

Jimmy appeals for a lock up, but Martin simply rushes in and drives his knee into Jimmy's gut, doubling the taller man over. Hunt reaches down, snares Jimmy's head, and falls to the mat with a neckbreaker. 'Big Country' gets up and speeds towards the ropes while Jimmy slowly begins to sit up. Hunt rears back and blasts Jimmy the Doom with a running kick to the face.

 

THWOCK!

 

"My, what a kick! That's sure to require some dental work," Pete says.

 

"And it just might be enough for Martin Hunt to either put Jimmy the Doom away, or give him time to do something else that'll get the job done," King adds.

 

Hunt turns on his heel and drops an elbow across Jimmy's chest, trying to keep him down just a bit longer. Martin scrambles to his feet, rushes to the corner and ascends to the top turnbuckle. 'Big Country' leaps off and crashes on Jimmy the Doom's chest, and hooks his right leg.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO-NO!

 

"Kick out from Jimmy the Doom! I'm impressed that the Donkey Punch didn't give Martin Hunt the victory there."

 

"Odd as it may sound, MacDougal, I agree with you. However, were it the Crimson Skull instead of Martin Hunt landing on Jimmy the Doom, there's no doubt the match would have been over," King states.

 

Hunt is shocked himself and spends a good ten seconds arguing with Harold Dean over his counting speed, allowing Jimmy the Doom to get up, walk behind Martin, and latch on with a head vice.

 

"A head vice? This one's all yours, MacDougal," King says, laughing at the ineptitude of Jimmy's submission hold.

 

"Hey, you never know, it just might get the job done," Pete replies.

 

Jimmy the Doom obviously thinks so, but the lack of movement from 'Big Country' isn't from crippling pain, but rather surprise that someone would even think that squeezing someone's head would be very effective. Hunt quickly unleashes a series of elbows to Jimmy's ribs, but nothing happens, so Martin simply moves on to throwing blind punches into his face. This also is ineffective, prompting Hunt to hook his left leg around Jimmy the Doom's and drop back.

 

"Dear lord, you just might be right, MacDougal. Jimmy the Doom isn't letting go of that hold for any reason," King points out.

 

"He'd better be careful, though, Martin Hunt could easily bridge up to pin Jimmy's shoulders to the mat," Pete says.

 

'Big Country' does just that, and Harold Dean goes from checking on Hunt to counting the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO-NO!

 

Doom simply rolls onto his stomach, stopping the count, and putting Martin Hunt in a very vulnerable position. 'Big Country', however, threads his arms between Jimmy's and reaches forward, breaking Jimmy the Doom's hold. Martin wriggles a bit, ends up on his back, and lets loose a strong right hand that Jimmy follows up with a headbutt. Martin fires off two more punches, but Jimmy continues to straddle 'Big Country', even as Hunt starts choking Doom.

 

"Well, one thing you can say about Jimmy the Doom, he doesn't give up easily. He's taken a lot of heavy and hard shots from Martin Hunt, but he hasn't backed off for a second."

 

"Yeah, well, we'll see how tough he is without any oxygen," King comments.

 

Harold Dean berates Hunt over using a choke hold, but seeing that he's being ignored, Dean moves on to his five count.

 

One!

 

Two!

 

Three!

 

Four!

 

Fi...

 

Hunt quickly breaks off at the edge of disqualification, eats another headbutt and finally manages to get Jimmy the Doom off of his body with a mighty heave.

 

"What is Martin Hunt going to have to do to keep Jimmy the Doom down long enough for the three count?" Pete wonders.

 

"Whatever it is, I don't know if it will be sanctioned by the rules of Family Friendly Lockdown," King says.

 

Jimmy gets to his feet moments before Martin does, grabs 'Big Country' by the wrist and sends him crashing into the turnbuckles. Doom charges in after Hunt, slaps on a headlock, spins out of the corner, and sends Martin to the mat.

 

"What a move from Jimmy the Doom!" Pete exclaims.

 

"Now what exactly would you call that?" King asks.

 

"I know Jimmy has a name for it, but I can't find the card I've got it on," Pete mumbles.

 

"You liar, you've got information on every wrestler, even down to win-loss record against guys that have some weird thing for a certain food!" King shouts.

 

"Okay, I do know the name, but I really don't want to say it."

 

"No, it's your job to call out the idiotic names these guys slap on the simplest of body slams or punches," King states.

 

"Fine, he calls it the 73.5267.1094Q80.16. You happy now?"

 

"Yes, because you just missed Jimmy the Doom getting kicked in the face when he tried to pick Martin Hunt up off the mat."

 

Jimmy stumbles away from Hunt, allowing 'Big Country' to get to his feet and charge down Doom. However, for all his effort, Martin gets plastered with a spin kick.

 

TURPENTINE!

 

Jimmy closes in on Martin, wraps his hands around Hunt's throat, lifts him up, turns, and plants 'Big Country' with a sit-out powerbomb.

 

"Jimmy Bomb from the rookie!" Pete exclaims, thankful for the concise nickname.

 

"I'd like to see him try that on Devon Walters," King mutters.

 

Jimmy the Doom remains seated and covers Martin Hunt for the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO-NO!

 

"And Martin Hunt kicks out from that high impact move! Could perhaps the tables be turned on Jimmy the Doom? Is he now wondering what will put 'Big Country' away?" Longdogger asks.

 

"You're joking right? You actually think the guy who used a head vice has a shot at winning this match?"

 

"Anything can happen inside an SWF wrestling ring, you know that, King," Pete replies.

 

"That's true. I mean, even you won a match or two."

 

Jimmy hauls Martin off the mat, attempts an Irish whip, but Hunt reverses it, sending Doom rocketing into the ropes. Jimmy bounces off as 'Big Country' begins running after him, and Jimmy raises his left leg.

 

GLASNOST!

 

"Flying front kick, and Martin Hunt positively sailed through the air!" Pete shouts.

 

"Damn. That was a good kick."

 

Jimmy the Doom grabs hold of the opposite set of ropes to stop himself while Martin Hunt writhes on the canvas, clutching his chest. Doom picks 'Big Country' off the mat and lashes out with a palm thrust to the chin that snaps Martin's head back, leaving him wide open for a quick throat-thrust.

 

"Hand of Doom! I don't really approve of that, but it should buy Jimmy the Doom some time to pull off something big," Pete says.

 

"Not only is it borderline illegal, it's pretty dangerous, it being a strike to the throat. Just ask JJ Johnson about that. Well, put it in writing," King replies.

 

Before Harold Dean can deliver an admonishing "HYAAAH!", Jimmy is racing towards the ropes, bounces off and continues to hurtle towards a gasping and sputtering Martin Hunt. Jimmy ducks low, wraps 'Big Country' up and spins him off his feet before planting Hunt with a suplex.

 

"Jimmy-Plex! That certainly rocked the ring!"

 

"He...he just might win this match," King mumbles in disbelief.

 

Jimmy the Doom slides out from underneath Hunt and makes a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THR-NO!

 

"And Martin Hunt keeps this match going! He barely got his shoulder up, but it was enough."

 

"Thank you, you drunk hillbilly!" King exclaims.

 

"Uh, King, a question: Why do you not want Jimmy the Doom to win this match, despite never having seen him wrestle or even speak, thus not knowing if his views coincide with your own?"

 

"Let me answer that question with a question of my own: How do you, a lumbering oaf, know the meaning of, let alone how to pronounce, the word coincide?" King shoots back.

 

"Dictionary. Now, what do you have against Jimmy?"

 

"Come on, MacDougal! Look at him! He's a total loser, and thus, reminds me of you."

 

Jimmy gets to his feet, backs away from Hunt and lifts his left leg in the air while extending his arms out.

 

"Hey, isn't that the pose for the Crane Kick, like in Karate Kid?" King asks.

 

"Indeed it is, but Jimmy the Doom calls it the Yak Kick, after the animal, which, according to him, is much loved in Doomtopia," Pete replies.

 

'Big Country' rolls to his feet and stares at Jimmy, some five feet away, waiting patiently. Martin starts moving to the side, but Jimmy simply turns with a one-footed hop. Hunt darts for the ropes, bounces back and charges Doom, only to slide at the last second, leaving Jimmy kicking air while Martin trips him up when he lands.

 

"Yeah, that was a great move from Jimmy the Doom."

 

"I must admit, he should have tried to be more spontaneous with it, rather than just standing there, waiting to use it," Pete notes.

 

Martin Hunt gets to his feet and begins stomping away at Jimmy the Doom, but it isn't enough to keep the Doomtopian on the mat. Hunt lashes out with a vicious uppercut, allowing him time to snare Jimmy in a front facelock and hoist him in the air. 'Big Country' stalls for a few seconds before crashing down and floating over for a cover.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

TH-NO!

 

"Almost got the three count there, but Jimmy the Doom once more shows he won't go away easily."

 

"He's probably cheating somehow," King grumbles.

 

"Then wouldn't you whole heartedly approve?" Pete asks.

 

"Quiet, you."

 

Hunt gets to his feet, measures, and drills Jimmy with a right hook to the temple, which barely seems to faze the man from Doomopolis. Nevertheless, Martin nails Doom with another punch and manages to send him into the ropes. 'Big Country' runs after Jimmy, leaps, and succeeds in wrapping his arms around Jimmy's head, cinching in a sleeper hold.

 

"Black-Out! Martin Hunt has the Black-Out locked in!" Pete exclaims, happy to shill anything. Seriously, you should hear him at the grocery store: 'Canned peaches in heavy syrup, only eighty-five cents! What a value!'

 

"Finally! I was wondering if I'd have to get in the ring and help Hunt along a little."

 

Harold Dean rushes over, screaming like a banshee, to see if Jimmy the Doom will submit. Jimmy waves him away, but promptly falls to one knee. Doom quickly puts both knees on the mat, along with his fists, and Dean once more asks if he'll submit.

 

"Not much longer now," King says eagerly.

 

"Well, if previous experience counts for anything, I don't know how soon Jimmy the Doom will be submitting."

 

Jimmy raises one hand off the mat to decline the offer of submission, and slowly pushes himself to one knee. Doom reaches behind his body and grabs hold of Martin Hunt's legs before rising to his feet and plodding over to the turnbuckles.

 

"Hold on just a second! Jimmy the Doom might not be submitting at all!" Pete yells.

 

"Are you kidding? Of course he is! Well, then again, I don't know if he's got enough of a brain for that sleeper hold to be effective," King acquiesces.

 

Like a racing tortoise, Jimmy the Doom takes his time getting to the turnbuckles, but eventually reaches them. He lifts one leg and places it on the bottom rope while Martin Hunt tries to get a tighter grip around Jimmy's head. Doom gets both feet on the middle rope and leaps off while 'Big Country' tries desperately to turn him over or get out of the way of the fastly approaching mat.

 

"What an impact! Jimmy the Doom completely sandwiched Martin 'Big Country' Hunt between himself and the canvas, and what's more, it freed him from the Black-Out!"

 

"That was impressive, Pete. That submission hold was on for quite some time. Of course, I'd like to see him try something like that against the Wing Span."

 

"Well, considering that'd pretty much be impossible, I don't think you will see it."

 

"Exactly. He'd be completely lost against Jay Hawke. Then again, who isn't?"

 

Jimmy the Doom rises shakily to his feet, staggers over to Martin Hunt, and drops down for a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE-NO!

 

"Amazing! Even after that fall, Martin Hunt manages to kick out!" Pete exclaims.

 

"Come on, you dumb redneck, get up and win this match!" King yells encouragingly.

 

Jimmy hauls Martin Hunt off the mat and lands another throat-thrust, allowing Doom to apply an arm wringer. As 'Big Country' tries to not choke on his own tongue, Jimmy the Doom makes things worse with a kick to the stomach. A stiff knee to the face straightens Hunt up, but he's still dazed, breathless, and gagging, but Jimmy isn't done and lands three kicks to the back of Martin's knees, knocking him on his ass. Jimmy releases Martin's arm, takes a step back and lets loose with a roundhouse kick to the face.

 

CURETTAGE!

 

"Doomsday! That's Jimmy the Doom's finisher, and may I say, what an awesome combination of blows!" Pete shrieks.

 

"And may I say, Martin Hunt looks to be out cold."

 

Jimmy drops down and hooks the leg as Dean drops down to shout the pin.

 

ONE!

 

"HYAAAH!"

 

TWO!

 

"YAAAAAAH!"

 

THREE!

 

You know, I'm going to stop running this joke into the ground that, frankly, I'm a few years behind on.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match via pinfall, JIMMY THE DOOM!" Funyon shouts.

 

"What a showing from this rookie, in his first match, no less," Pete states.

 

Harold Dean raises Jimmy's arm, then, with the help of Doom, pulls Hunt off the mat to raise both wrestlers' arms and enforce the post-match handshake. Jimmy exits the ring, grabs his hat and tries to high five a druid, but is sadly left hanging. Shrugging his shoulders, Doom heads back up the ramp with Lois the Unethical (She was hiding under the ring the whole match, and so wasn't around to cheer Jimmy on) while Martin Hunt is left fuming to the sounds of "Yakety Sax".

[Chuck Woolery 0]

The house lights dim and Mastodon's "Crusher Destroyer" hits, complete with multi-colored strobes flashing in time with the music. The fans rise to their feet, the buzz in the arena reaching a fever pitch, and Manson emerges moments later to a big pop. He heads down the ramp at a brisk pace, his eyes darting all around the arena before rolling in.

 

Funyon: Introducing first, weighing in at 245lbs, from the Mile High City… MAAAAAAAAAAANSOOOOOOOON

 

“GOD DAMN MOVE WHEN I SAY MOVE, MOTHERFUCKER!”

 

“Exile On Mainline” by Chemlab fires up as KOJI walks into the ring entrance, flanked by Chris Card and Natasha. KOJI walks slowly down to ringside taking time to sneer at the fans, and before stepping into the ring he hands his shades to Card and Natasha slowly takes his trenchcoat off him.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, from Saitama Prefecture in Japan… this is one half of TKO… KOOOOOOOOOJIIIIII KIIIIIIIITAAAAAAAAAANOOOOOOO

 

Longdogger Pete: I don’t expect a family friendly handshake here.

 

Suicide King: I expect something fun in it’s place, however.

 

LDP: Your definition of fun often scares me, King.

 

In the centre of the ring the two athletes square off. Manson refuses to extend his hand, but shockingly KOJI extends his. Even Manson looks a little confused by this, as Chris Card calls over from the corner…

 

Card: HEY MANSON! LOOK OVER THERE!!!

 

Instinctively Manson looks over, even though maybe in the back of his mind he probably knows he shouldn’t and… KOJI nips in and hits a quick reverse Russian Legsweep!! In the same motion, KOJI rolls through and Manson ends up on his back with his leg hooked!

 

Suicide King: THE DARKNESS CLUTCH!!!

 

Card: COUNT YOU BLIND MOTHERF***KER!!!

 

And on the command of Card referee Soapdish drops and counts…

 

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!

 

 

 

 

THREEE!!!!

 

KOJI rolls away and Manson immediately jumps to his feet with a “What the hell happened there” look. Slowly realising he’s been duped Manson fires a few boots towards KOJI but the crafty Japanese star has already escaped the ring and is halfway up the entrance ramp, manager and valet either side of him. The camera cuts back to the ring where Manson is LIVID, and pushes aside referee Soapdish as he heads to the outside, jawing with every single fan he can talk to on his own way back.

 

LDP: And with KOJI robbing Manson blind with that cheap victory, we have to go to a commercial break.

[Chuck Woolery 0]

Skull vs. Walters... TBEIASAP?

[Chuck Woolery 0]

Pete: "Alright, tag team action coming up next on Lockdown. We've got the newly formed team of The Nightmare Express..."

 

King: "Good..."

 

Pete: "...taking on the team of the International Champion, Jay Hawke..."

 

King: "...very good..."

 

Pete: "...and his recent acquaintance, Landon 'La Cucaracha' Maddix!"

 

King: "...damnit, I knew there'd be a catch."

 

Pete: "All four men in this match are coming off of gruelling matches at Genesis VI, with differing fortunes. Jay Hawke and Bruce Blank both regained their respective singles titles, while Landon Maddix and Marcus Ward ended up on the losing end of their matches. So there's no real momentum on either side. But when you focus on the teams as teams, The Nightmare Express of course hold a victory over TKO. While their opponents, Cucaracha Internacional, lost their only tag team match to date, again against TKO. Will that factor into tonight or not? We'll find out in a matter of moments."

 

 

With the intro over, the camera cuts to the ring and to Funyon, wearing a nametag telling everyone that 'MY NAM3 1S FUNY0N' [sic] which he doesn't seem best pleased with.

 

Funyon: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Inroducing first, team number one. At a total combined weight of FIVE hundred, fourty four pounds...the team of "The Mastermind" Marcus Ward and the SWF Hardcore Gamers Champion, Bruce Blank... TTHHHEEE NNIIIIIGGGGHHHHTTMMMAAAAAAARRREEEE... EEEXXXXPPPRRREEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!"

 

*BOOOOOOOM!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

The crowd in the Burlington Memorial Auditorium are awoken by blue pyro erupting from each ring post, the arena lights immediately dropping out as "Reign of Terror" by Stratovarius hits. Boos are ringing out for the SWF's newest tag team combination, before they even make it through the curtain...

 

"TERROR TERROR, EVERYWHERE!!!"

 

...and when they finally do, there's no let up. The NMX walk through the curtains and punch fists before charging down the ramp. Since too much pyrotechnicness risks making little brats cry, there's no more fireworks to accompany them, just the flickering lights that flash on and off in time with the beat of the music. Wars reaches the ring first and enters, standing in the centre of the ring and placing his index finger to his temple with a beaming smile. Meanwhile, Blank is caught up in the aisleway challenging a group of three 8 year olds to engage in fisticuffs. Luckily for the kids, security steps in and moves them back, allowing Blank to walk off claiming victory.

 

Pete: "Well, they've got a name, they've got music, they've got a little cosmetic co-ordination going on...they certainly have the makings of an effective team."

 

King: "Anything's better than the current alternative."

 

Blank finally enters the ring and begins discussing strategy with his tag partner, who seems to be directing the talk.

 

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

The soft guitar intro to Incubus' "Megalomaniac" hits and suddenly The Nightmare Express seem oh so much more appealing to the fans, given that the alternative is Landon Maddix bursting through the curtains. Followed by the International Champion, Jay Hawke, Maddix holds his arms to the side and soaks up the boos of the fans. Not with glee. More with just to let them know he's not bothered.

 

Funyon: "And, their opponents. At a total combined weight of four hundred, thirty seven pounds... Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix and the SWF International Champion, "The Dean Of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke... and they represent... CCUUUUUCCAAAARRRAAAAACCHHHHHAAAA... IIIINNTTEEEERRRRNNAAAATTIIIIOOOONNAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Maddix jogs up the steps and vaults into the ring, while Jay calls over a ring attendant to take his robe from him. Teaching kids one important life lesson: Women will clean up after you if you tell them to. Hawke then enters the ring, the two members of Cucaracha International abruptly realising just what a height and size dis-advantage they're under.

 

Pete: "I must say, it's refreshing to see tag team action between two actual tag teams here on Storm."

 

King: "Argueable."

 

Pete: "How is it arguable King? What about the competition? The intrigue?"

 

King: "The fact Landon Maddix is involved?"

 

Pete: "Oh, well would you be happier if the show was only populated by your favourites."

 

King: "Now that you mention it, I wou..."

 

 

 

*BOOOOOOOOOM!*

 

King: "...the heck!?!"

 

A massive blast of pyro suddenly hits, to the confusion of Cucaracha Internacional and questions of 'well, where the hell was OUR pyro' from The Nightmare Express...as suddenly, "Superstar" by Saliva begins to blast through the arena. The fans know what's happening and pop. Maddix knows what's happening too and proceeds to go nuts, as the newly returned Max King emerges through the entranceway! Seeing his hated rival, Maddix leans over the ropes ready to hurl some abuse at him...before noticing the steel chair in King's hand and promptly going conveniently coy.

 

Pete: "The King is here!"

 

King: "This isn't good...unless, like me, you hate Landon Maddix, in which case it's friggin' awesome!"

 

Maddix needn't worry too much though, as rather than storm the ring, Max stops halfway down the ramp and sets himself down on the chair. Soon after, Kelly Connelly appears and sits herself down in her man's lap, the duo snaring themselves a makeshift ringside seat. The Nightmare Express, confused by Max King's presence in the rampway, try to regain their focus. Meanwhile Hawke is trying to do the same with Maddix, holding him back from going after Max in the aisleway. Maddix is clearly distracted though and continues to glance repeatedly out at King while Soapdish calls the teams in for the opening handshake. Begrudgingly, Hawke and Marcus slap hands before Blank does the same with the International Champion. In which time, Maddix has left the ring and stands on the apron, daring Max to 'come get some'. Hawke turns away to try and get Maddix to go through pre-match formalities...but as he does, Bruce Blank decides one handshake is enough and clubs down Hawke from behind!

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

The bell rings, finally getting Maddix's attention. But it's too late now, as Hawke is forced to start the match with Blank, on the mat and getting the bejeezus stomped out of him!

 

Pete: "The Hardcore Champion on the attack, but he might have made a big mistake. That might be a fine for Blank because there was no handshake!"

 

King: "Yes there was."

 

Pete: "Not with Maddix!"

 

King: "Yeah, but he doesn't really matter."

 

Blank continues to stomp away on Hawke, who scrambles towards the ropes under the barrage. Wisely, The International Champion grabs the bottom rope immediately which forces Soapdish to call a break, which Blank eventually gives. As he does, Hawke rolls out of the ring to gather his thoughts, while Maddix quickly enters the ring and tries to catch Blank unawares. Blank sees him coming though and sledges him down with a back elbow. Quickly Hawke slides back in and tries to ambush Blank as well. But he too goes flying, courtesy of a back elbow. Blank then reaches down and grabs Hawke behind the head, dragging him over to the Nightmare Express corner and holds him up against the turnbuckles while Marcus Ward tags himself in. Stepping in, Ward fires a kick into the exposed gut of Hawke. Ward then drags Hawke out of the corner, taking him over with a crisp vertical suplex straight into a lateral press...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TW...

 

Hawke quickly kicks out. Ward isn't concerned though, placing both hands on Hawke's chest and pressing him down to the mat with impressive strength. Raising a leg, Ward grits his teeth in preparation before driving his weak knee into Hawke's sternum...once, twice and three times. Once Hawke is suitably winded, Ward backs up and prepares to say something to Maddix. Which would be pretty pointless, as Maddix isn't even facing the ring, standing on the apron in a heated rant towards the smirking King and Connelly.

 

King: "How would you like that guy for a partner, Pete? He's not even paying attention to the match, too busy yelling at people watching the match...and let's face it, you go near anything resembling 'his woman' and you're stuck fighting him for the rest of the year."

 

Shrugging his shoulders, Ward decides to go back after Hawke. The Dean has pulled himself back to his feet, but before he can go after Ward, The Mastermind has rushed over and intercepts Hawke with a shoulder thrust to the gut. Hawke doubles over slightly, while Ward remains crouched, wrapping his arms around Hawke's waist and applying a Bearhug! Quickly Hawke cries out in pain, finally getting Maddix to pay attention to the match in the process.

 

"BOR - ING!"

"BOR - ING!"

"BOR - ING!"

 

Pete: "Charlie Matthews, where-for-art-thou?"

 

Ward clamps away with the Bearhug again, but being beneath Hawke allows a front facelock to be applied. Another tightening off the Bearhug breaks that though, referee Soapdish now in vicinity to check for a submission. Hawke gives a firm 'NO', but suddenly finds himself picked off the canvas in the Bearhug. Ward now has more leverage with the hold and Hawke cries out in pain again. But Jay manages to block out the pain momentarily, long enough to fire both arms together.

 

*SMACK!*

 

An ear-clap leaves Ward's ears ringing and with his equilibrium shaken, he stumbles a couple of steps to the side. The Mastermind continues to hang onto the Bearhug though.

 

*SMACK!*

 

So Hawke rocks him with a second ear-clap, finally breaking himself free from Ward's grip. Ward tries to shake his head back into synch while Hawke drops back to his feet. But the Bearhug has done his job and worn down Hawke early, giving Ward the vital couple of seconds to recover and headbutt Hawke in the stomach. And again. Hawke doubles over, as Ward places a hand on each side of Hawke's waist and manages to lift his 215 pounds off the canvas, headbutting him in the sternum before dropping him back to his feet.

 

Pete: "That's just brute strength right there."

 

King: "He calls it the Lung Basher and I doubt Jay Hawke would disagree right now."

 

Max and Kelly watch on intently from the rampway, as Ward places his hands underneath Hawke's ribs again and lifts him into a second, sternum crushing headbutt. As he's dropped back to his feet, Hawke slumps breathlessly into Ward, who fires his forearm into the gut for good measure. Hawke is breathing heavily, just minutes into the match, giving Ward chance to turn to the crowd and let them know...

 

 

"I'M IN TOTAL CONTROL!!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Smirking, Ward then sets again, stooping low and lifting Hawke up...but with enough momentum for Hawke to float all the way over the top, taking Ward over with a sunset flip...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TW...

 

 

Ward kicks out and scrambles to his feet, beating Hawke up and beating him to the proverbial punch, with a knee to the gut.

 

Pete: "Man, Marcus Ward almost got shocked there. I guess he wasn't in as much control as he thought!"

 

The International Champion splutters and wheezes, Maddix rolling his eyes as Ward tags Bruce Blank back into the match. Blank enters the ring quickly and shows all the finesse of a crazed, drunk hobo as he lays into the kneeling Hawke with clubbing overhand forearms. Once Hawke is laid flat on the mat, Blank finally halts his attack. Only momentarily though, pulling Hawke up to his hands and knees...before beating the living crap out of Hawke's spine and kidneys again! The crowd are kinda warming to the Dirty Tornado Trailer Park's favourite son, or rather his brutality, as Blank backs off and measures Hawke with a hard stomp to the spine. Followed up by a second stomp. Blank backs up again, preparing for a third...but he fakes out the International Champion, running over him and charging Maddix off the apron and to the floor! Hawke continues writhing in pain for a moment, before Blank returns and pulls Hawke off the mat effortlessly. Taking Hawke's head, Blank mutters something about 'shrimp' or possibly 'you shrimp' while Marcus Ward lifts his leg over the top rope, his foot used by Bruce to bounce Jay's head off. Ward then tags in, stepping into the ring while Blank picks up Hawke.

 

Pete: "Another quick tag by The Nightmare Express and they're showing signs of finely tuned teamwork early in this match."

 

King: "Very true. Made easier by the fact Hawke has an incompetent boob as a partner."

 

Blank brings Hawke to his feet and drops him into a pendulum backbreaker. He holds onto Hawke on impact though, leaving him hanging over the knee while Marcus Ward hoists himself to the middle rope. Landon Maddix probably has time to save his partner. But again, he's not paying attention to the match, instead to Max King...which allows Ward time to walk a step across the rope and drop down with an elbow across Hawke's sternum! Hawke flips backwards off of Blank's knee and eventually rolls on his back, allowing Ward to make a pin...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Hawke rolls his shoulder.

 

Pete: "The Nightmare Express with The Nightmare Drop, unable to get the win early on. But it may be just a matter of time, because Jay has nobody to tag and even if he does, his partner has completely lost his concentration!"

 

"KING!"

"KING!"

"KING!"

 

The crowd down the aisleway begin to chant for Max King, giving The Suicide King brief, false hope that he's just been misunderstood all these years. Meanwhile, Maddix has climbed back to the apron and is finally rooting for his tag partner. Ward has said tag partner on his feet again though, driving a knee to the gut. He follows that up with a forearm, and a second, backing Hawke into the ropes and allowing Ward to whip him across the ring. Rebounding off the ropes, Hawke ducks underneath a clothesline attempt. Back comes Hawke again and this time he gets caught, Ward grabbing him at the side and executing the tilt-a-whirl...but as Hawke gets over Ward's shoulder, he manages to slide down the back of The Mastermind and lunge low, chopblocking out Ward's knee!!

 

Pete: "Great move by Hawke, going after the well documented bad knees of Marcus Ward!"

 

King: "That's why Jay Hawke is the International Champion Drain-Clogger. He's a thinking man's wrestler. One to be proud of. It's just a shame he fell in with the wrong crowd...*sighs*..."

 

Rolling away from the toppled Ward, Hawke crawls on hands and knees to his corner and finally, Maddix is in a position to tag in. Which he gladly does. As soon as he enters the ring though, Maddix turns back around to Max King and tells him to 'watch this'. King suddenly stands up and the crowd cheer, expecting him to go to the ring, but he doesn't. Instead, he watches on, as Maddix completely ignores Ward's injured knee, instead leaping onto Ward's chest with a double stomp, falling straight out with a back senton to follow up. Maddix then makes the cover, all the while staring at King...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Kickout!

 

Jumping back up, Maddix measures Ward and boots him in the head. And again. But suddenly, Hawke yells over at Maddix to "GO AFTER THE KNEE!" from the apron...which Maddix does, picking up Ward's right leg and throwing it to the left and to the canvas. Ward sits up and clutches his knee in pain, as Maddix grabs the leg and slams it to the mat again.

 

King: "You know, it's lucky one of the team has some brains, otherwise Maddix would have no idea that bad knees don't get worse by kicking someone in the head."

 

Pete: "Well, that's not Maddix's game, technical wrestling. Never has been. But maybe with Jay Hawke as his partner, the technical aspects will gradually rub off on him."

 

King: "What worries me is Maddix's tactics rubbing off on Jay."

 

Pete: "Now come on, Jay Hawke is hardly above cheating, he's proven that before."

 

With Ward grimacing in pain, Maddix finally seems to have gotten the message and continues to work on the knee, stomping Ward's flattened leg into the mat. Ward tries to crawl his way to his corner in the midst of all this, but Maddix just about stops him by holding onto the leg. For a few seconds, before Ward's power shows and he starts dragging Maddix with him! So Maddix decides to boot Ward in the head to stop him, turning to Blank as he does so and smirking...

 

 

"NOW, I'M IN TOTAL CONTROL!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The crowd jeer Maddix, who has succeeded in igniting Bruce Blank's short fuse and luring him into the ring. Nicky Soapdish just about keeps Blank at bay, but the distraction has allowed Jay Hawke to sneak into the ring. And quickly he grabs Ward's knee, locking it in a 'front shinlock' and dropping back with a KneeDDT, jarring the knee and leaving Ward writhing in pain.

 

Pete: "See!"

 

King: "Well, that's clearly that damn Maddix's influence. Poor Jay never cheated before he came along."

 

Pete: "Oh please."

 

Hawke rolls out of the ring before he can be detected by Soapdish, finally ejecting Blank and turning around to see an innocent looking Maddix standing over Ward.

 

Pete: “And referee Nick Soapdish didn’t see the double teaming!”

 

King: “And normally I’d probably make the comment that he ignored the Nightmare Express double teaming earlier, but it’s just Landon Maddix taking advantage of it, so… BOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Landon Maddix grabs Ward’s leg again and looks down the aisle briefly, pointing at Max King before driving the knee into the side of Ward’s knee. Maddix maintains the hold, bending the leg in an awkward position. However, he’s clearly still not comfortable trying to play a technical wrestling game, so he releases the hold and drags Marcus over toward the corner.

 

Pete: “Maddix reaching out…and there’s the tag to Jay Hawke.”

 

King: “And he’s a sweetheart, isn’t he? Never mind that Hawke got beat on nonstop for about eight minutes or so, let’s tag him in right away.”

 

Pete: “Hawke’s been on the apron a couple of minutes. He got a breather.”

 

King: “But how good a breather? Ward simply beat on his ribs for six minutes straight!”

 

Landon holds the leg for Hawke, who enters the ring and climbs up to the middle rope. From there he leaps, dropping a leg across the already-injured knee. Maddix immediately leaves the ring before Soapdish can finish his disqualification count, and Hawke immediately drops a series of elbows to Ward’s knee before Marcus can even say “Ow, that leg drop hurt.”

 

Pete: “And some solid teamwork from Hawke and Maddix there. Either one of these two teams could give Wild and Dangerous a run for their money before it’s all over.”

 

King: “If it was JJ Johnson and Jay Hawke teaming up, I’d agree with you, but I can’t see a tag team with Landon Maddix in it accomplishing anything.”

 

Pete: “What about Martial Law?”

 

King: “Even a blind squirrel gets lucky and finds an acorn once in a while.”

 

In an attempt to reach his partner, Ward rolls onto his stomach and begins to crawl to the corner. Jay Hawke refuses to let him get very far though, dropping an elbow to the back of the head and dragging Ward as far away from the corner as he can get. He then wastes no time, tying Ward’s injured leg up with his own leg and reaching forward, pulling backwards on a cross facelock.

 

Pete: “STF! Jay Hawke has the STF locked in here!”

 

King: “And with the damage Hawke has done to that knee, we might get a submission out of this one!”

 

Beads of sweat pour off of Ward’s forehead as he struggles to fight the pain of the hold. Sensing the submission is only moments away, Hawke tightens his grip on the hold, pulling the Mastermind back in such a way that many fans feel Ward is about to twist like a Stretch Armstrong doll.

 

Pete: “Ward is struggling for survival here. How can he possibly hold on?”

 

King: “How can he not? Even if it’s Jay Hawke causing the submission, losing to Landon Maddix in any type of match is something people have retired out of shame for.”

 

King continues his anti-Landon Maddix diatribe, but in the ring, Marcus Ward is clearly the worse for wear. He tries reaching for a rope, but there isn’t one within grabbing distance. And the pain in Ward’s already bad knees is simply too much to bear. Maybe it’s time he simply taps out…

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

…and it might have been, had Bruce Blank not illegally entered the ring and kicked Jay Hawke square in the side of the head.

 

Pete: “Bruce Blank making the save with that big boot, and at least for the moment, he’s bought Marcus Ward some time to try to make the tag!”

 

Jay Hawke shakes his head, trying to clear the cobwebs from a kick by one of the biggest men in recent SWF history, and he reaches out and makes the tag to Landon Maddix. Maddix begins kicking Ward in the head again, then goes back to kicking away at the knee.

 

King: “For a second, I thought he forgot the knees were hurt. Which would have been typical Landon Maddix.”

 

Maddix holds out Ward’s leg drops an elbow into the side of the knee. And again. And again.

 

King: “A little variety in the offense would be nice!”

 

Pete: “You already know that technical wrestling isn’t his strong suit.”

 

King: “Common sense isn’t even Landon Maddix’s strong suit.”

 

Landon Maddix reaches over and makes another tag to Jay Hawke. Maddix then picks Ward up on his shoulders as Hawke walks to a central point in the apron. The Dean of Professional Wrestling uses the top rope as a springboard and connects with a lariat, causing Ward to flip off of La Cucaracha’s shoulders and land awkwardly on the knees before crumpling into a heap on the mat. Jay Hawke moves in for the cover:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

T -- Ward manages to get the left shoulder up. Jay Hawke then manages to grab Ward’s foot, spinning around before driving his knee into the side of the leg, forcing a scream from the Mastermind. Sensing the match is ripe for the taking, Jay Hawke reaches out and tags in Maddix, saying “Let’s finish him off and get this over with.”

 

King: “God, Hawke wants Landon Maddix to win the match? I think I’m going to be sick.”

 

Landon Maddix grabs the leg, spins around into a spinning toehold, and finishes the final step of the figure-four leglock.

 

Pete: “The Wrath of Maddix is locked in!”

 

King: “The WHAT? And people thought I had an ego problem!”

 

Pete: “This is obviously what Hawke meant by ‘finish him off’ . They’re going to break Marcus Ward’s leg right here!”

 

Landon Maddix continues to tighten the pressure on the hold, and he reaches with both hands out behind him. Jay Hawke leans into the ring and grabs Landon’s arms, applying more pressure, and wisely letting go about half a second before Nick Soapdish looks up.

 

King: “Come on, Nick, look up sooner! Dammit!”

 

The referee goes back to seeing if Marcus Ward wants to quit, and once again he’s not seeing Jay Hawke assist La Cucaracha in adding additional leverage to the hold. Suicide King nearly busts a vein yelling at the referee to look up, but by the time Soapdish does, Hawke has already released the hands again.

 

King: “And to think I used to think Soapdish was a good referee.”

 

Pete: “No you didn’t.”

 

King: “Shut up.”

 

Soapdish begins to check on Marcus Ward yet again, and Jay Hawke once again grabs a hold of Landon Maddix’s hands…only for Soapdish to turn around and see Hawke and Landon clasp hands. Soapdish immediately calls for the break, and Landon Maddix breaks the hold, yelling at Soapdish the entire time.

 

King: “Jesus, it’s one distraction after another for this guy. If it’s not Max King, it’s the referee.”

 

The argument with the referee out of the way, Landon Maddix shoots an eye over toward Max King and says two simple words.

 

 

“Watch this!”

 

 

Too bad he doesn’t realize that Marcus Ward has pulled himself to his feet. Ward grabs Maddix in a modified bear hug, then simply turns Maddix over into a belly-to-belly suplex.

 

King: “Yes!”

 

Pete: “Landon Maddix allowed himself to be distracted one too many times by Max King at ringside, and this might be Marcus Ward’s chance to make the hot tag!”

 

King: “And if Bruce Blank gets his hands on Landon Maddix, that’s going to be it for sure!”

 

With Landon Maddix having had the wind knocked out of him, Marcus Ward should have plenty of time to make the tag. Ward actually pulls himself to his feet and starts hobbling toward the corner, seeing his tag team partner with his hand outstretched…

 

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

…only for Jay Hawke to run into the ring with a chop block that looks to nearly snap Ward’s leg at the knee. Hawke looks down at the Mastermind as he clutches at the knee, not seeing Bruce Blank enter the ring. Blank nearly decapitates Hawke with a clothesline. Hawke rolls toward the ropes, and Blank is immediately on him, pounding away with a series of right hands. However, Blank’s so focused on Hawke that he’s unaware that Landon Maddix has made a cover:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

King: “What the…what was that?”

 

Pete: “Jay Hawke took the knee out from Ward before he could make the tag to the Hardcore Champion, and as a result, Hawke and Maddix get the duke!”

 

Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, in 13 minutes 15 seconds … the winners of this contest … JAAAAAAAAAAAY HAWWWWWWWWWWWKE and LANDOOOOOOOOOOOON MADDIXXXXXXXXXXXXX!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Pete: “A tremendous tag team match featuring two of the newest tag teams in the SWF, but in the end, Cucaracha Internacional came out victorious.”

 

King: “Well, I’ve got to give credit to Jay Hawke. He was able to prevent the tag to Bruce Blank by taking out the knees of Marcus Ward, and that was enough for Blank’s temper to get the best of him and ignore the cover in the ring. But Landon Maddix getting the pin? Ugh.”

 

With the battle done and most of the wrestlers finally realizing what’s going on, all four men pull themselves to their feet … Ward only barely doing so … and all four combatants partake in the family-friendly post match handshake. Too bad the crowd would rather see all four guys continue to kill each other, so the handshake gets little to no reaction.

 

Pete: “What a fantastic match, but still more great action to come. Two championship matches still to come! The cruiserweight championship is on the line … NEXT!”

[Chuck Woolery 0]

JJ Johnson vs. Zyon will not be seen tonight. Plane delays and whatnot.

[Chuck Woolery 0]

“… Yeah… Alright… Goodbye.”

 

*CLICK*

 

Johnny Dangerous closes his cell phone and turns to face an anxious Wildchild. “Well?”

 

Johnny shakes his head. “We can’t get on. Not even a dark match.”

 

“What?” exclaims Wildchild. “We can’t even get a dark match?”

 

“Apparently not,” shrugs Johnny. “Until our next title defense, we’re not to get any ring time, while the suits decide how they’re going to deal with the recent fan backlash.”

 

“You know, you’re de reason for dis fan reaction,” scolds Wildchild. “If it weren’t for you wresslin’ dirty, de fans wouldn’ have a reason to be booin’ us!”

 

The Barracuda rolls his eyes in response. “Nic, haven’t you figured out by now that the fans are fickle as hell?”

 

“Speak for yourself!” replies Wildchild emphatically. “Dey’ve never been fickle wit’ me before. I’ve always had a good relationship wit’ de fans… in fact, de only time dat de fans have ever booed me before… is because of you!”

 

“Me?”

 

“Dat’s right,” replies Wildchild, “you. You’re de one dat accused me of dealin’ drugs, an’ turning all de fans an’ everybody else against me. An’ wit de way you’ve been actin’ lately, I sometimes don’ know why I let you talk me into teamin’ wit’ you again in de first place!”

 

“Because ever since you came to your senses and begged me to take you back,” replies Johnny, growing irritated as he pats his share of the Tag Team Championship, “we’ve won these four times!”

 

“Begged you?” screeches Wildchild. “Give me a break! You’re de one dat asked me for help against Justice an’ Rule; I would have been content at dat point t’have never worked wit’ you again, an’ de more time I spent around you, de more I start t’wish dat I hadn’t made de mistake of getting’ back wit’ you!”

 

Johnny again rolls his eyes. “Please; I made you what you are today; without me, you’re just the most popular jobber in the SWF…”

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

Johnny’s head snaps to the side as Wildchild slaps him fiercely across the face. “Don’ ever disrespect me again, an’ don’ belittle my contributions t’dis team! How many times have I had t’defend dese belts wit’out you, while you were off chasin’ de Worl’ Title? How ‘bout when you got suspended in your first two weeks in de fed, an’ I had t’take a beating in a cage from Jamie Drazon, just so dat you could get back in? You wouldn’ HAVE a career if it wasn’ for me!”

 

“First of all,” replies Johnny, straightening his shirt out, “If you ever slap me again, I’ll make you wish you were never born… Secondly, yeah, you may have gotten lucky a couple of times, but don’t deceive yourself; I’m the talent of this team; there’s a reason why your singles career peaked with the Cruiserweight Title, and I’ve held every belt worth having in this company!”

 

“Yeah, dat’s why everybody talks about all de great title defenses dat you had at Worl’ Champion… oh, wait… dat wasn’t you…”

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

“Shut your mouth, kid!” growls Johnny. “You’d better recognize who you’re talking to!”

 

“Yeah, I know who I’m talkin’ to,” replies Wildchild. “De only guy in de SWF t’ever choke de Worl’ Title twice!”

 

Johnny lashes out to slap Wildchild with his right hand, but Wildchild blocks with his left arm. The Bahama Bomber then tries to slap Johnny a second time, only to get blocked by the Barracuda! The two lock up and begin to throw each other against the lockers, until Wildchild is finally able to break free.

 

“Dis is ridiculous!” screams Wildchild, running a hand through his tousled hair. “What are we fighting for? Dis whole situation wit’ de suits freezing us out is making us crazy!”

 

“Heh… you might have a point,” says Johnny, breathing heavily. “So, what do you suppose we do about it?”

 

“Look,” says Wildchild, “de Executive Committee says dat we can’t get ring time unless we’re defending de titles, right? So, I’m gon’ go an ask for a title match on Smarkdown!”

 

“Wait, wait, wait,” says Johnny, holding his hands up. “Just a minute; defend the titles? Against whom?”

 

“What difference does it make?” asks Wildchild. “De fans are against us ‘cause dey feel like we don’ deserve t’still be de Champions… do only way t’prove dem wrong is by putting de belts on de line, an’ beatin’ people!”

 

“Look,” replies Johnny, “these belts are half mine; just don’t be cavalier with who you ask for a match against, is all I’m saying.”

 

“What’s de matter?” asks Wildchild challengingly. “Dere isn’ any team dat you’re afraid of facin’, is dere?”

 

“Afraid? Me? Please!” snaps Johnny. “Okay, fine; you want to defend the titles so bad, go ahead and ask for the match. You just better be able to hold up your end!”

 

“Don’ worry about me,” replies Wildchild, as he walks out of the locker room. “You jus’ show up for a change!”

[Chuck Woolery 0]

The final commercial break of the evening draws to a close and is quickly replaced by an inspiring shot of the inside of the Burlington Memorial Auditorium, packed to the brim with delighted fans. These hearty citizens of the great state of Vermont have been treated to a fine wrestling show thus far, and it’s only going to get better. After a moment, the camera cuts to Longdogger Pete and the Suicide King, as per usual perched behind their commentary desk.

 

“Welcome back to SWF Lockdown, ladies and gentlemen!” Pete happily greets the home audience.

 

“If you’re just joining us, you’re an idiot who should have turned the TV on about two hours ago.” King cheerfully adds.

 

“What King means to say is that we’ve had a fantastic show so far.” Pete quickly says, annoyed. “And now we’re gonna cap it off with a SWF World Heavyweight Title match! El Luchadore Magnifico, fresh off of taking the title from Danny Williams at Genesis VI, defends against Akira Kaibatsu, a young man who won this shot at the very same show in his first match with the SWF!”

 

“Man, this is gonna be great.” King happily predicts. “Nothing I enjoy more than watching a rookie get torn limb from limb by an actual wrestler.”

 

“That’s hardly fair, King.” Pete counters, trying to be polite as possible. “Akira may be a rookie in the SWF, but he’s not completely without experience. Akira’s been wrestling for over a year now and made a very impressive SWF debut at Genesis VI. Kaibatsu’s more of a match for Magnifico than you might think.”

 

“Uh huh.” King absently responds, not hearing a word Pete’s said. “I’ll give you three to one on the Japanese kid being crippled within two minutes. Whattya say?”

 

A depressed LDP sighs while King shrugs and asks nearby audience members if they want any piece of the action. With no warning, Akira Kaibatsu strides out from the back and onto the entrance ramp, followed closely by Mr. Kobe. The crowd’s surprised by a lack of an entrance, but the pop they release when everyone in attendance has seen Akira is respectable.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the SWF World Heavyweight Title!” Funyon announces, drawing an impressive anticipatory pop as he does so. “Introducing first, accompanied by Mr. Kobe, from Sendai, Japan, weighing in at one hundred and ninety-five pounds…AAAAAAKIIIIIRRRRRAAAA KAAAAIIIIIIIBAAAAAATSSSUUUUUUUU!!

 

Kaibatsu moves quickly down the ramp and reaches the ring, rolling beneath its bottom rope while Mr. Kobe climbs onto the apron. Once they’re both inside the ring, Kobe begins speaking to Akira, gesticulating wildly as he does so. Kaibatsu nods every so often as he takes in the valuable advice. When Kobe has said his peace, Kobe smiles and slaps Akira on the back, leaving Kaibatsu to prepare for the upcoming contest by himself.

 

“Akira’s lucky to have as knowledgeable and supportive a manager as Mr. Kobe in his corner.” Pete observes. “Admittedly, Akira is fairly inexperienced. I’m confident that Kobe’s advice will serve Kaibatsu well tonight and throughout his SWF career.”

 

“That’s amazing!” King suddenly cries.

 

“…well, I wouldn’t use the word amazing per se, but-“ Pete replies, startled.

 

“What? No, I’m not talking about whatever you were talking about.” King holds up a wad of bills. “Check it out, I made forty-three bucks from these yahoos! This’ll buy enough cheap whiskey to keep me drunk for weeks!”

 

Pete stares at King in disbelief for a moment before smacking him upside, inciting an argument between the two that the network has to quickly cut away from. A moment later, the lights are suddenly cut out throughout the arena, drawing a wave of pre-emptive boos from the live audience.

 

“HEY HEY!”

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!*

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

However, said boos are virtually drowned out when Atake FDD’s “Tu Final” blasts over the speakers, accompanied by a burst of red, white, and green pyro that explodes upwards from the stage. The booing grows to a deafening level of volume when El Luchadore Magnifico bursts through the pyro-induced smoke, illuminated by a single spotlight. His head bobbing to the pounding bass of his music and the World Title wrapped around his waist, Magnifico quickly strides down the entrance ramp, his Mexican flag flapping gracefully behind him.

 

“And now, from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds…he is the SWF World Heavyweight Champion…” Funyon continues, the last three words drawing a fresh wave of boos from the annoyed crowd. “EL LUCHADOOOOOOOOOORE MAGNIFIIIICOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Beset on all sides by people who basically despise him, Magnifico quickly and confidently strides down the entrance ramp, an indignant scowl painted on his face the entire time. ELM reaches the ring, rolls beneath its bottom rope, and pops to his feet. Without even looking at Akira, he steps into the center of the ring, unwraps the title around his waist, and then thrusts it and his Mexican flag into the air as the lights go back up throughout the arena. The suddenly-illuminated crowd doesn’t falter for a second in voicing their displeasure as Magnifico looks out over the mass of humanity with palpable disgust. Eventually, he breaks his pose and hands both the flag and the title over to the referee. He begins to stretch for the upcoming contest, and it’s then that his eyes meet Akira’s for the first time. A cheerful smile suddenly comes over Magnifico’s face as he stretches, keeping his eyes locked on Kaibatsu’s the entire time. To Akira’s credit, he meets ELM’s gaze and doesn’t break it for a second, completely concentrated on defeating the man before him and taking his title.

 

“On Storm, Magnifico told us that he felt it was his ‘solemn duty’ to open the eyes of certain members of the SWF roster.” Pete says quietly. “ELM told us is that he felt the need to show them what he’s seen, and that his work would start with Akira Kaibatsu. Whatever that means.”

 

“And as I said on Storm, I applaud Magnifico for taking it upon himself to educate the less-enlightened members of this roster.” King interjects. “This is exactly what a young man like Akira needs. With ELM’s guidance, Kaibatsu would be sure to realize his potential and maybe actually be a match for Magnifico sometime down the road.”

 

The ref steps into the center of the ring and holds up the World Title, drawing an anticipatory pop from the excited crowd. Once that’s done, the ref takes a quick look around the ring, and, upon seeing that everything is in order, signals for the bell.

 

DING DING DING

 

“And here we go!” Pete proclaims, excited. “El Luchadore Magnifico’s first title defense, against promising newcomer Akira Kaibatsu! Will Magnifico retain, or will Akira shock the world and come out of here the SWF World Heavyweight Champion?”

 

Kobe slaps the mat and shouts a few words of encouragement as the bell rings, wanting nothing more than for Akira to come out victorious tonight. ELM’s smile grows wider and more unsettling as Kaibatsu begins to pace around the ring, keeping his eyes locked on Magnifico’s. After a moment, ELM finally moves, and the two men begin to circle each other, slowly approaching one another and the center of the ring. Once his opponent is within arm’s reach, Akira suddenly lunges forward, looking to lock up with Magnifico in the center of the ring. However, ELM manages to duck beneath Akira’s arm and spin around to his back, applying a Rear Waistlock on Kaibatsu while doing so. Before he can do anything with it, Akira drives his elbow backwards, slamming it into Magnifico’s temple and loosening his hold on Kaibatsu. Akira breaks free of the Waistlock and rushes across the ring and towards the far ropes as ELM struggles to shake off the surprisingly strong Elbow Strike. Kaibatsu bounces off of said ropes and charges back towards Magnifico, who greets him by leaping into the air and extending his legs, looking to wrap them around Akira’s head for a Hurricanrana! However, Kaibatsu manages to duck beneath Magnifico’s legs and continue running, bouncing off of the ropes behind the luchadore as he lands on his feet in the center of the ring. ELM spins to face Kaibatsu just in time to see Akira lash out with his arm, looking to drive its elbow into Magnifico’s forehead with a Rolling Elbow! Having seen this move more than once before, ELM manages to duck beneath Akira’s arm, spinning behind him and reapplying the Rear Waistlock as he does so! Before Kaibatsu has a chance to escape, Magnifico immediately hoists Akira into the air, looking to drive him into the canvas with s German Suplex! But as soon as his feet leave the ground, Akira suddenly throws his legs backwards, hooking them beneath Magnifico’s arms, and grabs the luchadore by the knees! Kaibatsu then rolls forward, pulling ELM down with him and pinning him to the canvas as the surprised fans cheer happily! The ref quickly slides into position and begins counting, doing so as Magnifico struggles wildly to escape and Akira puts as much weight down on his shoulders as he can.

 

ONE!

 

TWO! No! ELM breaks free at two, instantly silencing much of the live audience. Both men scramble back to their feet and instantly assume ready positions, wanting to be prepared for whatever the other might throw at them. As the fans applaud the quick exchange and the two men, the same smile returns to Magnifico’s face, the luchadore apparently realizing that he’s gonna get a decent match outta this kid. Akira just stares ELM down, not intimidated by the luchadore.

 

“Isn’t it heartwarming to see Magnifico welcome this young man to the SWF?” King earnestly asks. “Allowing Akira to reverse his German Suplex and think he had a chance at victory. It’s generosity and compassion personified, is what it is.”

 

“Akira shows impressive speed and ring presence by avoiding Mag’s Hurricanrana and his German Suplex.” Pete reports, pointedly ignoring King. “But I still don’t think ELM is taking him very seriously, which could be a huge mistake. All it takes is one big move to win this match, and Akira’s quick enough to come out of nowhere with it.”

 

Both men begin to circle each other around the ring once more, doing so as Mr. Kobe shouts a bit of advice from the outside. Akira lunges for Magnifico once more, and this is time is simply clocked in the face by the luchadore mid-lunge. The fans rightly boo the somewhat underhanded move as a stunned Akira backs away from Magnifico and into the ropes. Kaibatsu only has a moment to rest before ELM strides up to him, grabs him by the arm, and whips him across the ring, sending him sprinting towards the far ropes. He bounces off of the ropes and charges back towards the luchadore, who suddenly sidesteps towards Kaibatsu and throws his foot into the air, looking to drive it into Akira’s forehead with a Superkick! However, Kaibatsu manages to stop dead in his tracks and catch ELM’s foot right in front of his face, leaving Magnifico to hop helplessly on one foot as Akira keeps a tight grip on the other one.

 

“Boo! Unsporting!” King suddenly cries. “Release Magnifico’s foot this instant, young man!”

 

Kaibatsu suddenly throws ELM’s foot to one side, spinning him around on the mat three hundred and sixty degrees. When Magnifico faces Akira again, it’s just in time to see Kaibatsu stride towards him and lash out with his elbow! Akira slams his elbow directly into the bridge of ELM’s nose, knocking him to the mat as the delighted fans cheer happily! Magnifico immediately tries to get back to his feet, but Akira grabs him by the arm halfway and pulls him to his feet. Kaibatsu then uses his grip to try and whip ELM, only to have Magnifico reverse it and send Akira rushing towards the far ropes. Kaibatsu bounces off of the ropes and darts back towards ELM, who greets Akira by driving his arm forward, aiming it right at his forehead with a Lariat! However, Kaibatsu manages to duck beneath ELM’s arm and continues to run as Magnifico is carried a step or two forward thanks to the momentum of the missed Lariat. A moment after ducking beneath the Lariat, Akira suddenly leaps into the air, landing feet-first on the middle rope behind Magnifico! Kaibatsu springboards off of the rope and spins around in mid-air just as ELM is turning, lashing out with his foot as he does so! With amazing accuracy, Kaibatsu drives the tip of his foot directly into the side of Magnifico’s head, knocking him to the ground with a Springboard Gamengiri as the impressed crowd releases a mighty pop! Akira falls to the mat and immediately scrambles over to the luchadore, covering him as the ref slides into position and begins counting.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH-No! Magnifico kicks out at two and a half, disappointing and silencing the capacity crowd.

 

“Amazing Springboard Gamengiri from Kaibatsu!” Pete exclaims, surprised and impressed at the same time. “Akira caught ELM completely off guard and knocked him right back to the ground!”

 

“Wow, a kick to the head. I know I’m impressed.” King replies, not sounding very sincere. “How can Magnifico possibly contend with the jumping and kicking of a hundred and ninety-five pound kid? He should just forfeit the title now and spare himself the embarassment.”

 

Akira quickly rolls off of the luchadore and pops back to his feet, where he delivers a few quick stomps to Magnifico’s chest before grabbing by the arm and pulling him to his feet. Once ELM is standing, Kaibatsu suddenly rears back, drives his arm forward and...

 

CHOP!

 

*SMACK*

 

“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Akira slices into Magnifico’s chest with a surprisingly stiff Knife-Edge Chop, causing the luchadore to turn and stumble into the corner behind him as the fans “whoo” gleefully. Leaning up against the corner, ELM turns back towards Akira, only for Kaibatsu to lash his arm out once more and...

 

CHOP!

 

*SMACK*

 

“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Akira lands a second Chop as ELM’s chest grows a bright red and the luchadore shouts in pain.

 

“Now that’s just plain disrespectful.” King grumbles. “I highly doubt that the pioneers of the Knife-Edge Chop ever expected weak charisma-less Cruiserweights to use their noble strike. Ric Flair must be spinning in his grave.”

 

Pete starts to say something, but thinks better of it.

 

Before Magnifico can dwell on his stinging chest for too long, Kaibatsu grabs him by the arm, pulls him out of the corner, and whips the luchadore across the ring, sending him rushing towards the far corner. Before Magnifico even lands in the corner, Akira suddenly breaks into a sprint and dashes across the ring, closing in on the stunned luchadore with terrifying speed! However, ELM manages to dive out of the corner before Kaibatsu can do whatever it is he planned on doing, leaving Akira to unceremoniously crash chest-first into the corner’s top turnbuckle! As the disappointed fans “OHHHH!” as one, Akira stumbles backwards out of the corner, doing so as Magnifico stealthily gets behind him. ELM suddenly thrusts his head beneath Akira’s arm and grabs him by the waist, then uses his grip to hoist Kaibatsu high into the air! Without warning, ELM then twists Akira’s body around and sits out, pulling Kaibatsu down with him and slamming his back into the canvas with La Bomba Fantastica! The annoyed crowd boos heartily as the ref slides into position, beginning his count as ELM press Akira down to the mat.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH-No! Akira gets a shoulder up at two and a half, drawing a few hopeful cheers from the capacity crowd.

 

“La Bomba Fantastica executed pefectly by Magnifico!” King declares. “ELM effortlessly takes control of the match and I’d be surprised to see him relinquish it at any point until the inevitable pinfall. Pete, your irrelevant thoughs?”

 

LDP glares at King for a second before responding. “It’s going to be tough for Akira to overcome ELM. I’m not debating that. But it’s ridiculous to think that Kaibatsu is just going to roll over and let Magnifico win this match. All you have to do is see the first couple minutes of this match to see that Akira is more than capable of taking ELM down.”

 

Magnifico throws Akira’s legs to the side, leaving Kaibatsu to flop onto his stomach as the luchadore climbs back to his feet. Upon reaching his feet, ELM delivers a few quick stomps to Kaibatsu’s ribs and back before grabbing Akira by the hair and painfully pulling him to his feet. Once Akira is standing, Magnifico suddenly drives his head forward, slamming it directly into the nearby top turnbuckle! Maintaining his grip, Magnifico repeats the process several times, driving his head into the turnbuckle over and over again as the fans constantly grow louder in their booing. As Kobe shouts and curses at the luchadore in Japanese, Magnifico finally releases Akira’s head, allowing him to fall lifelessly into the corner. ELM looks over Kaibatsu for a moment with a maddening smirk on his face...before suddenly driving his arm forward, slamming it into Akira’s chest with a Knife-Edge Chop!

 

*SMACK*

 

“WHOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Much of the capacity crowd “whoo”s on instinct as Magnifico’s arm cuts into Akira’s chest, causing Kaibatsu to double over and grip his suddenly-stinging chest. Not quite done with him yet, ELM pushes Kaibatsu back into the corner, draws his arm back once more, and...

 

CHOP!

 

*SMACK*

 

“WHOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Realizing what they’re doing, the fans immediately boo after their enthusiastic “whoo”, drawing a cheerful grin from the luchadore as he hears the drastic shift in their reaction.

 

“Now THAT’S a Knife-Edge Chop!” King cries. “Magnifico, being the wonderful teacher he is, educates Akira on what an actual Chop should look and feel like.”

 

“King, I think Magnifico’s intention is more to beat the hell out of Akira then teach him how to properly Chop someone.” Pete counters.

 

“Well, that’s good too.” King shrugs.

 

Shortly after landing the second chop, Magnifico pulls Akira out of the corner and whips him across the ring, sending Kaibatsu rushing towards the far corner. ELM runs after a moment later, trailing only a few steps behind Akira as he approaches the corner. ELM is merely a few feet away from Kaibatsu and closing in fast when he crashes back-first into the turnbuckles, but Akira still manages to throw an elbow up in time, driving it into the charging luchadore’s face to the delight of the live audience! A hand on his face, Magnifico turns and stumbles away from the corner, cursing loudly as he does so. Immediately after landing the elbow, Akira hops onto the second turnbuckle behind him. Kaibatsu then leaps off of the turnbuckle and towards the luchadore, wrapping his arms around Magnifico’s head in mid-air! Akira falls and pulls Magnifico violently down to the mat with him, slamming ELM’s face into the canvas with a Flying Bulldog! A mighty cheer rises from the audience as Akira immediately turns Magnifico onto his back and covers him, hooking the luchadore’s leg as the ref slides into position and begins counting.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH-No! ELM gets a shoulder up at two and a half. On the outside, Mr. Kobe claps and shouts a few words of encouragement, momentarily pleased at his ward’s performance.

 

“Beautiful Flying Bulldog from Akira Kaibatsu!” Pete enthusiastically reports. “Akira takes advantage of Magnifico’s overconfidence and turns his blind charge against him.”

 

“For Christ’s sake, Pete, try to show a little objectivity.” King moans. “Do we really need a commentator constantly pulling for one of the wrestlers and not the other?”

 

“…no, we certainly don’t.” Pete thoughtfully replies, smiling as he does so. King raises an eyebrow at LDP’s response, but doesn’t say anything further.

 

Akira rolls off of Magnifico and grabs him by the arm, using his grip to pull the luchadore to his feet as he stands. The second ELM’s standing, Kaibatsu suddenly lashes out with his arm, driving it deep into the luchadore’s chest!

 

CHOP!

 

*SMACK*

 

“WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Magnifico is knocked backwards by the force of the Knife-Edge Chop and into the ropes directly behind him. Not allowing the luchadore to rest for a second, Akira immediately grabs him by the arm again, pulls him off the ropes, and attempts to whip him across the ring. However, that plan is foiled when ELM reverses the whip and suddenly jerks Akira back towards him, driving his free arm forward as he does so and slamming it into Kaibatsu’s neck with a Short-Arm Lariat! The fans release a surprised and disappointed “OHHHH!” as Akira is knocked violently to the mat, taken off guard by the strength and speed of the Lariat.

 

“Well, looks like Magnifico’s done playing with this kid.” King shrugs. “I wish ELM would humor Akira for a little longer, though. I’m sure the rookie could use the boost in confidence.”

 

Akira tries to scramble back to his feet after the Lariat, only to have the luchadore deliver a quick kick to his ribs that immediately knocks Kaibatsu back down to the canvas. Undeterred, Akira tries once more to get back to his feet, and this time is grabbed by the hair and painfully pulled to his feet by the amused luchadore. Once Kaibatsu is standing, ELM suddenly and unexpectedly levels him with a quick European Uppercut, sending Akira stumbling backwards into the nearby corner as the live audience boos vigorously. Magnifico delivers a few quick kicks to Akira’s gut before grabbing Kaibatsu by the waist, hoisting him into the air, and sitting him on the top turnbuckle. Anticipatory boos already raining in from every part of the arena, ELM reaches up and delivers a few curt punches to Akira’s chin before climbing up after him. Once Magnifico’s on the top turnbuckle, he grabs Akira by the hair and stands him up, careful to keep both his own and Kaibatsu’s balance. ELM then sticks his head beneath Kaibatsu’s arm and hooks Akira under the other armpit, setting him up for a Rio Grande Slam on the top rope.

 

“Damn, I knew Magnifico was tired of fighting this kid, but I didn’t think he’d finish it this quickly.” King gleefully confesses. “Well, let’s hope Kaibatsu took a valuable lesson away from this match, that lesson of course being-“

 

“He hasn’t even landed the damn move yet, you infuriating bastard!” Pete suddenly snaps, having had enough of King’s nonsense for one night.

 

“Well, I never!” King gasps, offended.

 

The fans viciously boo and taunt the luchadore as he holds Akira in that position, trying to prevent Magnifico from landing the Super Sambo Suplex through sheer force of will. Fortunately, Akira’s willing to help the cause as well, as he slams the elbow of the arm over Magnifico’s shoulder into the side of ELM’s head, drawing a raucous cheer from the delighted audience as he does so! Stunned, ELM has little recourse when Akira slams the elbow over and over again into Magnifico’s head, determined to break his grip! After landing five stiff blows, Kaibatsu simply places his hands on ELM’s chest and shoves him off of the turnbuckle, causing the luchadore to fly from the top rope and crash violently and back-first into the unforgiving canvas! The entire ring shakes with the impact, but it can barely be heard over the jubilant cheers of the live audience. After shoving Magnifico off of the turnbuckle, Akira takes a moment to regain his balance before turning around on the top rope so that he’s facing the audience and his back is facing the luchadore. Kaibatsu then leaps backwards, crashing back-first towards the luchadore with terrifying speed, looking to slam his entire body into Magnifico’s with a Top Rope Senton Bomb! Akira is bathed in flashbulb light during his descent, but the picture-taking immediately stops when ELM rolls out of the way right before impact, leaving Kaibatsu to unceremoniously smash back-first into the canvas as the fans release a crestfallen “OHHHH!” Akira cries out and arches his back in pain upon impact, while Magnifico lays on his stomach a few feet away, motionless since having avoided the Top Rope Senton.

 

“No! Akira goes for the Top Rope Senton Bomb, but Magnifico manages to roll out of the way just in time!” Pete reports. “ELM would have been in serious trouble had Akira landed that move!”

 

“Yeah, ‘cause there’s nothing like falling on a guy to keep him down for the three count.” King responds, rolling his eyes. “Magnifico might have felt a slight twinge of pain upon impact, but I’m confident he would have quickly laughed it off and pinned Akira shortly afterwards.”

 

Both men lay motionless on the canvas for several moments, each of them shaking off the impact of their falls from the top rope. Magnifico’s was earlier and slightly less violent, however, and he begins pushing himself to his feet first. Akira joins in a few seconds afterwards, reaching his hands and knees as the luchadore reaches his feet. Kaibatsu pushes himself to his feet a moment later, only to have ELM blast him in the face with an unexpected kick that immediately and violently knocks him back down to the canvas! The disgust the crowd vocalizes is palpable as the scowling luchadore begins to viciously kick away at Akira’s ribs and gut, keeping Kaibatsu down on the mat as an infuriated Mr. Kobe curses Magnifico out from the outside.

 

“Magnifico seems to be furious that Akira would even dare to be so bold as to make a contest out of this.” LDP scoffs. “But if Kaibatsu can take advantage of his anger and overconfidence, he’ll give ELM something to really be furious about.”

 

ELM abruptly stops his kicks and grabs Kaibatsu by his arm, gruflly pulling him to his feet before using the grip to try and whip Akira across the ring. However, Kaibatsu manages to reverse it, sending Magnifico rushing towards the far ropes. ELM bounces off of said ropes and charges back towards Akira, who steps forward, grabs Magnifico under the arm, and throws him into the air!

 

ARMDRAG!

 

ELM crashes into the canvas as the fans cheer for the unexpected move from Akira. Magnifico immediately scrambles back to his feet and charges at Kaibatsu again, only to have Akira grab him beneath the arm once more and...

 

ARMDRAG~!

 

Sensing a comeback of massive proportions, the fans only grow louder and more raucous in their cheering as an incensed Magnifico is taken to the mat once more! He’s a little slower on the rise this time, but ELM scrambles back to his feet once more, and this time Akira simply slams his knee into the luchadore’s gut, doubling him over in the center of the ring! Moving quickly, Kaibatsu pulls ELM into a Front Head Scissors, hooks both of his arms, and then hoists the luchadore into the air so that he’s completely perpendicular to the mat! The pop the fans release is massive as Akira sits out, pulling ELM down as he does so and slamming his face into the canvas with It Came From Sendai! Magnifico flops lifelessly to the mat and Akira falls right next to him as an overexcited Mr. Kobe loudly and angrily implores him to make the cover!

 

“It Came From Sendai!” Pete excitedly cries. “Kaibatsu lands his Underhook Face First Piledriver and might be mere moments away from winning this match.”

 

“Ya see? This is what happens when rookies don’t know when to quit!” King snaps, annoyed. “Now Magnifico’s going to have to no-sell this move and just flat-out embarass Kaibatsu because he didn’t wanna play ball.”

 

Spurred on by the raucous, deafening cheers of the live crowd, Kaibatsu slowly rolls towards Magnifico and grabs him by the shoulder. As Mr. Kobe jumps up and down on the outside, unable to contain himself, Akira turns the luchadore onto his back and makes the cover! The ref slides into position and begins his count, the entire crowd counting along with him.

 

ONNNNNNNEEE!!

 

TWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNOOOOOO!!

 

“OHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

Magnifico gets a shoulder up mere milliseconds before the three count, quickly sobering everyone in attendance. Mr. Kobe slaps the mat and curses in Japanese as Akira rolls off of Magnifico and onto his back, his chest heaving as he stares blankly up at the lights.

 

King shakes his head disapprovingly. “What’d I tell ya? Rookies these days have no respect. Akira even had the audacity to try and get a pinfall just now. The nerve.”

 

After a few moments rest, Kaibatsu turns onto his stomach and begins pushing himself to his feet, leaving Magnifico laying motionless beneath him. When Akira stands, he grabs ELM by the arm and pulls him to his feet, receiving no help from the languid luchadore. The seconds Magnifico’s on his feet, Kaibatsu pulls him into a Front Headlock and then hoists him into the air, holding ELM perpendicular to the mat in anticpation of a Stalling Brainbuster! However, Akira holds him just a second too long, as Magnifico manages to wriggle out of his grip, landing on his feet behind Kaibatsu and facing the same direction as him! ELM immediately pulls Akira into a Rear Waistlock and hoists him into the air, before throwing Kaibatsu backwards with a Release German Suplex! However, Akira manages to flip out of the Suplex, landing on his feet behind the luchadore as the delighted fans cheer as one! Somewhat disconcerted by the crowd’s reaction, Magnifico gets back to his feet, slowly turns around...and sees Akira spinning towards him with his elbow extended, looking to slam it directly into ELM’s face! However, Magnifico just manages to duck beneath the Rolling Elbow, Akira’s arm grazing the top of his scalp as the disappointed fans “OHHHH!” as one. Kaibatsu’s momentum carries him forward a step, giving Magnifico time to turn towards Akira and get himself ready. When Akira turns back towards ELM, the luchadore immediately grabs him by the waist and beneath the arm and hoists him into the air, as if for a Scoop Slam! The crowd knows better, though, and immediately begins to boo in anticipation of La Dia de los Muertos! However, Akira manages to escape ELM’s grip, sliding down the luchadore’s back as the fans cheer for the timely escape! As Kaibatsu slides, he wraps his arm around Magnifico’s head, tightening the grip as he reaches his feet and applying a Dragon Sleeper to the delight of the live audience!

 

“Damn it, this is getting ridiculous.” King grumbles. “Does anyone around here speak Japanese? Akira’s obviously missed something in the translation of the SWF Handbook

 

“Akira escapes La Dia de los Muertos, reversing it into a Dragon Sleeper!” Pete excitedly reports, ignoring King as he does so. “With Magnifico in this position, Akira has the opportunity to turn it into the Kaibatsu Drop!”

 

It’s an opportunity that Kaibatsu takes advantage of, as after a few seconds of wrenching away on ELM’s neck he suddenly leaps into the air, flipping over the luchadore as the crowd roars in anticipation! However, the second Akira is in front of Magnifico, he suddenly throws his knee forward, slamming it into Kaibatsu’s back before he can pull ELM into the Stunner portion of the drop! Akira arches his back and cries out in pain as the surprised and disappointed crowd releases a resounding “OHHHH!” They become more disappointed a moment later when Magnifico spins around, hooks both of Akira’s arms, and begins running towards the nearby corner with Kaibatsu in tow!

 

“No! No!” LDP cries. “ELM reverses the Kaibatsu Drop and is going for the Baja California Crusher! If he hits this, Akira might be done for good!”

 

“Might? More like will.” King counters. “Akira is no Danny Williams, who isn’t a big deal to begin with. Magnifico will land this and we’ll all go home happy. Except for you and the fans, of course.”

 

The panicking fans boo and shout as loud as they know how, doing their best to try and foul up Magnifico’s attempt at the Crusher. ELM’s undeterred by the noise, however, as he manages to run up the turnbuckles, flip off the top one and over Kaibatsu, and land on his knees, pulling Akira down with him and driving his face into the mat with the Baja California Crusher! ELM remains on his knees and looks down on Akira, an almost proud smile painted across his face as a distressed Mr. Kobe looks on helplessly from the outside. Slowly, deliberately, Magnifico turns Akira onto his back and pins him, hooking the leg as the irritated fans maintain their ridiculous level of volume. The ref slides into position and begins counting, do so as Mr. Kobe shouts at Akira to kick out.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

 

DING DING DING

 

“Your winner, and STILL, SWF World Heavyweight Champion...” Funyon dutifullly announces. “EL LUCHADOOOOOOOORRRREEE MAGNIFICOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

ELM rolls off of Akira and quickly pushes himself to his knees. He looks down on Kaibatsu, the same unsettling smile on his face. Slowly, almost tenderly, he strokes the top of Akira’s head, Kaibatsu remaining motionless as he does so. Having seen enough, Mr. Kobe rolls into the ring and gets between Magnifico and Akira, cursing the luchadore out and telling him to get out of here. His expression unchanging, Magnifico slowly rises to his feet, keeping his eyes locked on Mr. Kobe’s. He finally breaks his gaze when the ref hands him the title, exiting the ring as Mr. Kobe keeps himself between Magnifico and Akira. Once ELM is on his way up the ramp, Mr. Kobe drops to his knees and begins to examine Akira, wanting to make sure his student hasn’t suffered any irreprable damage.

 

“Looks like ELM was gonna do just like he said.” King declares, smiling. “He’s shown Akira the strength of a man who fights for himself and no one else. Having learned this lesson, I believe Kaibatsu will quickly realize his potential and maybe even be a match for Magnifico next time.”

 

“How generous of you to say that.” Pete replies, rolling his eyes. “Akira was really close to hitting the Kaibatsu Drop and taking this match, but Magnifico just managed to reverse it and take the contest. Akira has shown himself tonight to be one of the brightest young stars in the SWF. I feel confident in saying that we’re looking at a future World Champion.”

 

“Thanks to Magnifico’s benevolent influence.” King adds. “If you ask me – "

 

“Which no one is doing, so shut up.” Pete interrupts. “We’ve had an amazing show here tonight, but I’m afraid we’re out of time. Good night, everyone! Tune into Smarkdown!”

 

The final image broadcasted is El Luchadore Magnifico, turning back towards the ring with an unsettling grin on his face...

 

FADE OUT

Edited September 30, 2005 by Chuck Woolery