Tony149 0 Report post Posted October 6, 2005 * DING DING * BUFFER Our following contest is set for one fall. Already in the ring, to my left, from Latin America, LOS CONQUISTADORS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Los Conquistadors march up to the center of the ring and salute the crowd. As they turn around, they trip over their feet and tumble to the mat. The crowd laughs. The Conquistadors calmly get up and salute the crowd once more before marching back to their corner. COACH Well, fellas, now we know why there isn't any liquor left in the back. Los Conquistadors must've drank it all. The Coach hears they've been hitting the bottle hard, depressed about losing their popularity in our Latin markets to Los Diablos de Feugo. And speaking of the Diablos, man, are they ch-- Owww! CABOOSE You're not going to ruin another gay gimmick, Coachman. COLE I believe the politically correct term is ho-- COACH Tsk, tsk, tsk. They're not homos. They're homies. Get it [i]straight,[/i] fellas. CABOOSE I can't believe you set him up for that line, Cole. If we haven't already offended our viewing audience, now is the perfect time to remind them all that our next pay-per-view will be held in the home of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland, Ohio. The OAOAST presents... [B][COLOR=orange]WORLD WITHOUT END[/COLOR] Sunday, October 25th, LIVE only on PAY-PER-VIEW! [COLOR=red]Call your local cable or satellite provider to order now. Or log onto OAOAST.com to pre-order the webcast.[/COLOR][/B] COACH World Without End is going to be off the charts. CUE: "Boulvevard of Broken Dreams" COLE Speaking of off the charts, would you listen to the ovation for the former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions! BUFFER Their opponents. From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing 345 pounds, the former World tag team champions... THE SK8TER BOIZ! The music is blaring. The crowd is on their feet. But no Sk8ter Boiz. CABOOSE What's going on here? Where are the Sk8ter Boiz? Damn, I feel like such a tool saying that. Something obviously had to happen for them not to be out here. COACH Maybe they weren't home by 10 last night, and Mrs. Nerdly grounded them. :lol: COLE I'm being told through my headset that the Boiz are held up in one of the many men's bathroom in the arena, having fled from -- WHO? COACH No freakin' way! I guess "The Anvil" needs the money. COLE I'm not referring to that brainfart of a creation. I'm talking about the...SOONER BRUISERS! The Sooners sprint to the ring. Michael Buffer gets out of the ring just in the nick of time as the Bruisers slide underneath the bottom rope and level Los Conquistadors, who are paralyzed in fear, with a pair of Soonerlines. The Man of Tomorrow follows up by doing PUSH-UPS, counting the amount done in Spanish. The brothers from Oklahoma then send the crowd into a frenzy by putting on a suplex clinic -- belly-to-belly, belly-to-back, head and legs, gut-wrench, half-nelson, T-Bone, etc. One of the Conquistadors is thrown outside. Frankie PRESSES the other above his head. Referee Nick Patrick pleds with him not to drop the masked man onto the arena floor. FRANKIE :( "AWWWWWWWWW!" Nick tries cheering up Frankie by patting him on the back. He cheers him up alright. Frankie THROWS the Conquistador onto his partner outside! COACH OH! "YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!" COLE When the Psycho Gremlin goes down on all fours, you know what that means. Frankie, tilting his head up, howls. "OW-OW-OW-OWWWWWWWWWW!" CABOOSE With a nickname like "Psycho Gremlin," Frankie should be in a padded cell. That bloody yank is crazy. COACH The fool's probably just getting a jump on taking out the agression he'll have after OU loses to Texas this Saturday in the Red-River Shootout. Frank calls in Michael Buffer. Buffer prepares to conduct an interview, but Frank rips the mic out of his hands and shoves him away. FRANK Go sit the hell down! South Central Militia, our patience is runnin' out. We called your asses out last week, but instead of facing us like real men, you run and hide like a couple of pussies. Two guys from the mean streets of South Central L.A. getting punk'd out by a couple of farm boys. Now that I think about it, you punks are doin' us a favor by avoiding our challenge. Because if get manage to get our hands on you in the streets, we won't have to deal with the reprecussions from management. And we know you guys wouldn't file charges because you'd look like even bigger pussies to your boys in the hood runnin' to the cops instead of takin' care of business yourselves. FRANKIE Besides, celebrities can get away with murder. Ain't that right, big brother? OWWWWWWWWW! "OW, OW, OW, OWWWWWWWW!" FRANK That's right. So South Central Militia, we're givin' you one more week. If you don't hear from you then, then we're gonna go find your sorry asses. (looks over) Whatcha whinin' about?! The camera pans over. Nick Patrick tells the guys about the scheduled match that didn't take place. FRANK You want your match? We'll give you your goddamn match! The Bruisers bring Los Conquistadors back into the ring. Frank pulverizes Uno with forearm strikes to the side of the face, while Frankie beats Dos with good ol' fashion American right hands. COLE If it weren't for the masks, right now we'd be able to see how puffy the Conquistadors faces are. They are getting destroyed in there. CABOOSE That's what the OAOAST is all about. You can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. COACH Exactly. The Bruisers whip Los Conquistadors out of the ropes. Frankie with a big-time Soonerline! TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM by Frank! The Man of Tomorrow picks Uno up and fires him back to the ropes. Frankie scoopes Dos up and charges to the corner, ramming Dos' back in the top turnbuckle and powerslamming him down to the canvas as his brother hits Uno with the FRANKENSTEINER! COLE And that's no cruiserweight, ladies and gentlemen. That's 6'3, 275 pounds of meat. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING DING * BUFFER Here are your winners: THE SOONER BRUISERS! "Frankenstein" cues up, the Sooner Bruisers glance over at Conquistadors, ready to attack, but Nick Patrick, who's attending to the Conquistadors tells the Sooners to back off. Frank flexes his bicep for the camera and begs to hear an answer next week. COLE There you have it. The Sooner Bruisers practically begging the South Central Militia to reply to their challenge. As the non-response would tell you, nobody has heard from the South Central Militia since Dirty Deeds. And the man who would have communications with them, Jim Cornette, is apparently on an overseas tour with the New New Midnight Express. I say apparently because their bookings are handled by Jim Cornette himself. In a contract first of its kind, because the New New Midnight Express are signed to Jim Cornette Enterprises, who worked out a deal with the OAOAST, they are allowed to wrestle anywhere in the world so long that it doesn't interfere with their OAOAST scheduled. Like I said, it's a contract first of its kind, and probably something that would catch on in other sports in the coming months and years. COACH James E.'s a smart man. The only other person I think gives James E. a run for his money is Rick Heyross. They know how to bring in the money, baby. COLE The Sooner Bruisers want an answer. Will they get one? We'll find out next week. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
