Storm matches of Lossification

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

I feel that had my match gone in on time and was a bit longer, I would have had a shot, but that's not for me to decide. Speaking of which, I'd like to know what the J-Man thought, or, due to lateness, if he even read it. And such. Anyway, it's short, rushed, and other negative things, so, yeah:

 

 

------------------------

 

SWF Storm returns from commercials for alcohol and sex drugs and cameras pan around the Stabler Arena (Not a Renal Stable, which is where kidneys are kept) before stopping in front of Longdogger Pete and the Suicide King.

 

"Welcome back to Storm! The evening is young, and we've got some intense action scheduled tonight, and as with every episode of Storm, all under hardcore rules!" Pete shills.

 

"And first up, we get to see Bruce Blank defend his Hardcore title against Jimmy the Doom, The Crimson Skull, and Akira Kaibatsu. I'd like to see Blank retain, though I wouldn't be opposed to seeing the belt around Crimson Skull's waist."

 

"I figured that's who you'd be pulling for," Pete replies.

 

"Hey, now! I didn't say that! I'm not Bobby Riley!"

 

"That's not what I meant...you know, never mind. Let's just get this thing started," Pete mutters.

 

Apparently Pete's word is law, as Akira Kaibatsu and Mr. Kobe make their way down the ramp to a moderate amount of cheers.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following match shall take place under hardcore rules in which falls count anywhere, and is for the SWF Hardcore championship! Introducing first, being accompanied by Mr. Kobe, from Sendai, Japan, he weighs in at one hundred, ninety-five pounds, 'The Divine Wind' AAAKIRAAA KAAAIBAAATSUUU!" Funyon booms.

 

"I never knew he was so popular that he has a sandwich named after him," King says.

 

"What on earth are you talking about?"

 

"At Quiznos. There's some Kaibatsu sandwich."

 

"King, that's Italian Ciabatta bread," Pete replies.

 

"Oh. That makes sense, because, I mean, what's this loser done to warrant himself a sandwich? If anyone gets to be a sandwich, it better be me, damn it!"

 

 

Akira slides into the ring and raises his arms, when suddenly, the lights go out. A multitude of druids march down the ramp, chanting.

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

The druids encircle the ring, but then stay motionless, putting Kobe at ease. The lights snap back on and "Yakety Sax" blares over the speakers, signalling Jimmy the Doom and Lois the Unethical to make their way down the ramp.

 

"His opponent, being accompanied by Lois the Unethical, he is from Doomopolis, Doomtopia, and weighs two hundred, twenty-five pounds, JIIIMMMYYY THE DOOOOM!"

 

Doom reaches the bottom of the ramp when the nearest druid spins around and brains him with a baseball bat.

 

TIMPANI!

 

"It's Heff! The Crimson Skull's evil assistant Heff disguised himself as a druid and just bashed Jimmy the Doom with that bat!" Pete screams.

 

"Yes! Beat the crap out of him!" King cheers.

 

Despite never having met Jimmy the Doom, 'The Divine Wind' begins to rush to his rescue by vaulting over the top rope. However, before he can do anything else, Doom is already on his feet and lays into Heff with a double palm strike to the chest.

 

BANG!

 

An explosion of gold sparks on the stage is immediately followed by the thumping beats of C & C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now!)" and Crimson SKull racing down the ramp, sans the Dance Squad.

 

"His opponent, from Parts Unknown, he weighs two hundred, eighty-five pounds, THE CRIMSON SKULL!" Funyon hollers.

 

Jimmy the Doom turns around, backs away from Heff and slides into the ring, not wanting to start brawling before the match begins. Skull sees that Heff is still breathing, and being a super villain, is legally allowed to not show any more compassion for his assistant. Instead, he takes the bat and enters the ring, a glint in his eye over being the only man currently armed.

 

"Aw, I wanted to see the Dance Squad," King laments. "That Jade's hot."

 

"They have names? And you know them?" Pete inquires.

 

"Of course. What ladies don't find the Gambling Man attractive?"

 

"Ones blessed with the gift of sight..." Longdogger mumbles.

 

Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Don't Ask Me No Questions" quickly takes over the speakers, and Bruce Blank saunters down the ramp, twirling a thick steel chain.

 

"And their opponent, he is from the Dirty Tornado Trailer Park in Mobile, Alabama, and weighs in at two hundred, ninety-five pounds, one-half of the Nightmare Express, and current Hardcore champion, BRRRUUUCE BLAAANK!"

 

Blank takes off his hat and eyes the druids menacingly, as the last time he saw druids was on the losing end of Smarkdown. Bruce climbs into the ring and thrusts his belt into the hands of referee Anthony Michael Hall, who holds it aloft, showing what's at stake. Hall passes the belt on to Funyon, and seeing as anything is legal, calls for the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Blank and Skull begin advancing on Akira and Jimmy, seeing as they are armed, but Doom isn't wary and heads straight for Bruce. Blank lashes out with his chain, but Jimmy ducks and snaps off a palm strike to the chin. Blank shrugs off the shotei as best he can and clocks Doom with a chain-wrapped fist. Jimmy stumbles backwards, but composes himself before smacking Bruce with a kick to the legs. Blank's knee buckles, and Jimmy dives forward, snaring Bruce with a front facelock and drops.

 

"Nice DDT from Jimmy the Doom. Until he gets that chain away from Bruce Blank, he's got to stay back and use his long reach," Longdogger points out.

 

Crimson Skull swings for Kaibatsu's head, but 'The Divine Wind' jumps out of the way and kicks Skull in the shin. Skull hurls the bat towards Akira, who nimbly ducks, leaving him wide open for a right hand from Crimson Skull. Crimson Skull wraps a big hand around Akira's neck and hoists 'The Divine Wind' off his feet before landing two big shots to Kaibatsu's kidneys. Skull whips around and throws Akira into the turnbuckles before charging in with an elbow.

 

"I wonder if another referee will get out here. Since it is a one fall match, there could be an instance of two people being pinned at the same time," Pete notes.

 

"Well, if that does happen, you can count the other pin since you seem so concerned about it. That is, if you can count to three," King replies.

 

Jimmy rolls Bruce over and locks on a side headlock while trying to pry the chain out of his hands. Doom is unsuccessful, as Blank is simply too large and ends up bashing Jimmy in the head with the chain, forcing Doom to back off.

 

'The Divine Wind' lashes out with two open hand chops and Skull replies with a big heart punch.

 

LICHEN!

 

Akira tries to fight back with an elbow, but Crimson Skull rakes his fingers across Kaibatsu's eyes. Skull picks him up by the throat, walks out of the corner, and launches Akira over the top rope.

 

"It's not Clusterfuck, but one down!" King howls.

 

"But Akira Kaibatsu is very tough. He won't be down long," Pete notes.

 

"Yeah, but it just might be long enough," King replies.

 

Doom gets to his feet, not particularly wanting to get hit with a steel chain again, and is instead knocked down with a discus double ax handle courtesy of the Crimson Skull.

 

INDIGO!

 

Blank slowly gets to his feet and stares at Skull before charging forward with a clothesline.

 

"You fool! You foolish fool! Work together, then double-cross him!" King moans.

 

Skull slowly gets back to his feet and quickly tosses a handful of black powder into Blank's eyes. Bruce stumbles around blindly before slumping down to the mat.

 

"Holy crap! Was that some kind of knockout powder?" Pete wonders.

 

"If so, I want like ten cases!" King exclaims.

 

Jimmy gets back up and fires off a kick to Skull's chest. Doom hops back a step then darts in, aiming a spin kick for Crimson Skull's jaw, only for it to get blocked so violently Jimmy spins around, leaving him wide open for perhaps the biggest kidney punch in the history of forever.

 

CHALK!

 

The moment Jimmy's feet touch the mat again, Skull wraps his meaty arms around Doom's neck, and Anthony Michael Hall rushes over to see if Jimmy will submit.

 

"Pop Your Skull! The Crimson Skull has that violent choke hold locked in, and there's nobody around to save Jimmy the Doom! Skull might just be the newest Hardcore champion!" Pete shouts.

 

"Sweet! As much as I like Bruce Blank's style, I'll be glad for the belt to be on someone with decent hygiene."

 

Doom waves Hall off and sets about trying to free himself with back elbows to Skull's face. After the fifth elbow, Crimson Skull can take no more and lets go of a now-gasping Jimmy the Doom. Skull takes a few steps back, right into a flying Akira Kaibatsu's sight.

 

"Springboard dropkick from 'The Divine Wind'! He came out of nowhere and just dropped the Crimson Skull!" Pete exclaims.

 

"Damn, I'd honestly forgotten about him," King adds.

 

Akira kips up right into a palm strike, but he quickly fires off a spin kick to Jimmy the Doom. Doom shakes off the kick and closes in, looking for a collar and elbow tie-up.

 

"A lock up? What the hell are those idiots doing? This is a hardcore match! I want to see blood, damn it!" King shrieks.

 

"Calm down. I'm sure you'll see some soon enough."

 

"Quiet Mr. Alliteration."

 

Jimmy easily overpowers Akira and shunts him into the ropes. Kaibatsu rushes back and smacks Doom with a roaring elbow, sending Jimmy stumbling into the ropes.

 

THERMOS!

 

The Doomtopian bounces back and charges Akira, leaping into the air moments before planting his foot in 'The Divine Wind's' chest, knocking Kaibatsu flat.

 

ERMINE!

 

"Wow! What an elbow and what a kick! I'm glad I wasn't on the receiving end of one of those," Pete states.

 

"That was nothing! Did you see Crimson Skull lift Jimmy the Doom off his feet with that kidney punch earlier?"

 

"Yes, I did. That was a big shot, too."

 

Doom flops down with a lateral cover and Anthony Michael Hall slides in to count the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

TW-NO!

 

Kaibatsu gets a shoulder up and Crimson Skull is over to kick Jimmy the Doom in the face. Doom scrambles to his feet, only to get whipped to the ropes. Jimmy leaps into the air, but Skull catches the cross body block attempt and plants Doom with a backbreaker. Akira stands, and as Skull shoves Doom off his knee, 'The Divine Wind' smacks him with a round house kick to the back of the head.

 

MUFFIN!

 

Skull falls forward, inadvertanly covering Jimmy, but Hall counts it anyway.

 

ONE!

 

 

T-NO!

 

Jimmy kicks out the exact same time Kaibatsu pulls Crimson Skull off the Doomtopian. Doom gets to his feet, and with Akira's help, lifts Skull off the mat. The two cruiserweights send Skull into the ropes and knock him down with double elbows. With both big men taken care of for the moment, Doom and Akira face off once again.

 

"Nice action so far, but Bruce Blank had better get up soon otherwise he might lose his title belt while he's out cold," Pete says.

 

"Speaking of which, how come nobody's tried to pin him yet?" King asks.

 

"Well, so far, there have been two people going at it, so someone would be there to break it up."

 

'The Divine Wind' darts in and grabs Doom's wrist, whipping him into the ropes. Jimmy bounces back, and Akira leap frogs, putting Jimmy the Doom right in the path of an oncoming Crimson Skull.

 

HARPSICHORD!

 

"What a spear out of nowhere by the Crimson Skull! He just exploded and nearly snapped Jimmy the Doom in half!" Pete exclaims.

 

"That was great! Just destroyed him!"

 

Skull and Doom fall to the mat in a heap, but Skull is on top and Jimmy's shoulders are on the mat, so Hall begins to count.

 

ONE!

 

TWO-NO!

 

Akira whirls around and breaks up the pin with a quick kick. Skull rises to his feet and knocks Kaibatsu backwards with a back hand. Akira eats another back hand before kicking Skull in the jaw. Jimmy the Doom climbs to his feet and rushes for the ropes, sliding outside the ring.

 

"Where that coward going?" King demands.

 

"Well, it looks like you're about to get your blood, King, as Jimmy the Doom is searching under the ring right now," Pete explains.

 

Jimmy emerges with a chair which he slides into the ring, but goes back to looking while 'The Divine Wind' knocks Crimson Skull backwards with a series of overhead chops. Jimmy finally finds what he's looking for in the form of a pumpkin and gets back in the ring.

 

"Jesus. That idiot's got a pumpkin. A PUMPKIN!" King bellows, amazed at Jimmy the Doom's ineptitude.

 

"Hey, pumpkins are pretty hard. I wouldn't want to get hit with one," Pete offers.

 

"Yes, they do, but so do chairs, and chairs do not shatter upon impact," King replies.

 

Jimmy races towards Skull and Akira just as Kaibatsu boots Crimson Skull in the gut, doubling the big man over. 'The Divine Wind' applies a front facelock, but doesn't have a chance to pick Skull up as the super villain shoves the smaller man away. Skull straightens up in time to see Jimmy the Doom hurtling towards him, pumpkin outstretched.

 

OBSTINATE!

 

"Oh my God! The Crimson Skull's brain is scattered around the ring!" Pete screams.

 

"You doofus, that's pumpkin goo."

 

"Oh, so it is. But still, that was a mighty blow."

 

"For the pumpkin, maybe."

 

Jimmy turns Skull around and jumps up, blasting him under the chin with the Yak Kick. Skull simply drops to the canvas, but before Doom can make a cover, Akira knocks the Doomtopian down with a spin kick. Doom is swiftly back on his feet, though, and buries a palm strike into Kaibatsu's gut. Doom launches 'The Divine Wind' into the turnbuckles and charges in after him. Jimmy latches on a side headlock and spins, sending Akira Kaibatsu crashing into the mat.

 

"Say it! It's your job, so say it!" King demands.

 

"Jimmy the Doom just hit the 73.52677.1094Q80.16 on 'The Divine Wind' Akira Kaibatsu!" Pete shills.

 

Jimmy walks over towards Akira and lifts him up before putting him in an inverted facelock. Doom leans down, hooks Kaibatsu's left leg, then lifts, bringing Akira off the mat before Jimmy drops with a brain buster.

 

"Doom Driver! That might be enough to keep 'The Divine Wind' down!" Pete yells.

 

"That's good only if it's long enough for Bruce Blank or the Crimson Skull to get up and get the pin," King says.

 

Jimmy stays down with Akira's leg hooked.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

TH-NO!

 

"What a boot to the face from Bruce Blank! He still looks a little woozy, though. That knockout powder is pretty strong stuff," Pete says.

 

"Yes! He saved his belt!"

 

Jimmy the Doom slowly gets to his feet, but eats a stiff right hand. Blank lands another right, but Doom fires back with a palm strike to the chest. Bruce feints a left, but knees Jimmy in the groin instead. Bruce slips around Doom and drags him to the mat with a side Russian leg sweep. Blank rolls over and hooks Jimmy's leg while Anthony Michael Hall drops to count the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

T-NO!

 

"Kick out! Jimmy the Doom is very tough to put down, as evidenced right here."

 

"Well, considering he hasn't taken too many hits so far, that isn't a very good example of his vitality," King points out.

 

Blank lifts Jimmy off the mat and whips him violently into the ropes. Doom bounces back and Bruce ducks down, sending the Doomtopian high into the air with a back body drop.

 

SCRABBLE!

 

"What a chair shot! The Crimson Skull just came out of nowhere and nailed Jimmy the Doom on the way down with that chair he put in the ring earlier!" Pete exclaims.

 

"Hey, Pete, you seem to be saying 'nowhere' a lot. How about you try and find a synonym?" King asks.

 

"Fine. From now on, I'll say 'from an area of undisclosed location'."

 

Skull leans over Jimmy the Doom and continues to wail on him with the chair before he eats a running shoulder block from Bruce Blank. Skull drops his chair from the impact and gets to his feet just after Blank. The two big men stare daggers at each other before clashing together, throwing wild punch after wild punch.

 

"This is a war! Neither man looks to be going down anytime soon, but this slug fest certainly can't last much longer," Pete says.

 

"I just hope Akira Kaibatsu or Jimmy the Doom don't pounce on either one once they go down. Those bastards!"

 

Suddenly, Bruce falters and clutches his hands to his face, leaving him wide open for a heart punch. Crimson Skull lands another heart punch then ducks low, scooping Blank off his feet and planting him with a big spinebuster.

 

"What the hell just happened?! Blank just stopped throwing punches, and Crimson Skull just about buried him in the ring!" Pete exclaims.

 

"It was Heff!" King shouts, pointing at the evil assistant. "He shined that laser pointer in Bruce Blank's eyes, blinding him, giving the Crimson Skull the advantage!"

 

Skull quickly hooks Blank's legs and Hall drops to count the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THRE-NO!

 

"Shoulder up! Bruce Blank is fighting his heart out to retain possession of that Hardcore title, and in this match, he can lose it despite not being involved directly in the decision."

 

"Yes, Pete. That was pretty obvious at the start of the match," King replies.

 

Skull pulls Blank to his feet, attempts a whip, but Bruce reverses it and flattens Crimson Skull coming off the rebound with a flying clothesline. Bruce stays on the mat and punches Skull in the face twice before clambering up and putting a cowboy boot across Skull's throat. After a good five seconds, Blank lets Skull up and kicks him in the gut. Bruce applies a standing head scissors, lifts Crimson Skull off the mat, and drops to his ass. Blank opts to not try for a pin, but instead picks Skull back up, whips him to the ropes, and snares him in the Iron Claw.

 

"The Iron Claw! This might be it! I don't think Jimmy the Doom has yet recovered from that beating he took, and Akira Kaibatsu doesn't look to be much better off," Pete notes.

 

"And unless Heff has another trick up his sleeve, I doubt the Crimson Skull will be escaping any time soon," King adds.

 

Anthony Michael Hall rushes over to see if Skull will submit, but the current Ukranian shoves him away and starts trying to pry himself free of Blank's grip. Bruce puts his free hand on his Iron Claw wrist for extra support and begins forcing Crimson Skull to his knees. Slowly, 'The Divine Wind' climbs to his feet, stumbles to the ropes, and exits the ring. Akira grabs hold of the top rope, vaults onto the strand, then launches himself at Blank and Skull, arms outstretched. Kaibatsu just reaches the Hardcore champion, and his fingers drag down Blank's bare back, causing the big man to release Crimson Skull.

 

"Springboard back rake! I can't believe what I just saw! Akira Kaibatsu travelled halfway across the ring and nearly ripped Bruce Blank's back wide open!" Pete exclaims.

 

"You know, couldn't he have just run up and kick Blank? I mean, that just seems a lot easier," King points out.

 

Skull drops to the mat and Blank wheels around just in time to get smacked with a kick from 'The Divine Wind'. Bruce fires off a left hand, but Akira rolls with the punch and lands a spin kick to Blank's face. Kaibatsu shoots the Hardcore champion into the ropes and drops him with a roaring elbow. 'The Divine Wind' races to the ropes and jumps to the top buckle. Akira leaps off and lands back-first on Blank's torso, staying down for the cover.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THRE-NO!

 

"Shoulder up after that senton bomb! Bruce Blank looks to be in trouble, as there's nobody to take some of the pressure off of him," Pete states.

 

"Like he'd need it! Blank's just biding his time before he knocks Akira Kaibatsu out," King replies.

 

'The Divine Wind' pulls Bruce to his feet and knees him in the stomach before hooking both of Blank's arms. Akira jumps and sits out, driving Bruce face first into the mat.

 

"It Came From Sendai! Could this be it for Bruce Blank's run with the Hardcore championship belt?" Pete asks.

 

"No fucking way!" King exclaims.

 

Kaibatsu rolls Blank over and hooks a leg.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE-NO!

 

"He kicked out! Bruce Blank got his shoulder up milimeters from losing his title!"

 

"He was just resting," King says.

 

Akira drags Bruce to his feet and lays into him with an open hand chop. 'The Divine Wind' grabs Blank in a three-quarters facelock and runs towards the turnbuckles.

 

"The Divine Wind! Akira Kaibatsu is going for The Divine Wind!" Pete shills.

 

"Like that will do anything to him."

 

Kaibatsu rushes up the turnbuckles and gets vertical, trying to pull Blank to the mat, but the Hardcore champion puts the brakes on. Bruce stands upright with Akira hanging off of him, but not for very long, as Blank shoves 'The Divine Wind' over the top rope and into some handily nearby druids.

 

"What a counter! Akira Kaibatsu took a nasty spill, but at least some druids broke his fall," Pete says.

 

"Aw, I hoped 'The Divine Wind' would break his head," King replies.

 

Blank turns around and gets nailed with a flying front kick from Jimmy the Doom.

 

IMPERIALISM!

 

"What a kick from Jimmy the Doom! He just flew through the air and smashed into Bruce Blank's chest!"

 

Jimmy leaves Blank slumped in the corner and slides outside the ring. Doom searches under the ring then comes out with a watermelon. Doom slides back in, rushes Bruce and smashes the melon over the Hardcore champion's head. Unfortunately for Blank, the melon remains on his head.

 

"God damn it..." King mutters, while Longdogger Pete is laughing too hard to commentate.

 

Blank staggers around, truly a melon-head. Jimmy the Doom bounces off the ropes and dropkicks Bruce in the chest, sending him to the mat. Jimmy tries to make a pin, but Crimson Skull rushes him and connects with a clothesline. Skulls wraps Jimmy up and drives him into the mat with a belly to belly suplex.

 

"Yes! At least there's someone I wouldn't mind with the belt," King says.

 

"Well, we wouldn't want someone with fruit for his head as the champion. A hamburger is fine, but no fruit, damn it!" Pete yells.

 

Skull picks up the forgotten and dented chair, holds it aloft, and brings it crashing down on Jimmy the Doom's chest. Crimson Skull hits the Doomtopian again, but this time leaves the weapon on Jimmy's chest. Skull walks to the corner and climbs aloft to the top turnbuckle, then leaps off.

 

HISTORIAN!

 

"Crimson Splash! This has got to be it!" Pete shouts.

 

"Obviously," King says gleefully.

 

Skull doesn't bother with hooking a leg, mainly because his ribs are quite sore, but regardless, Anthony Michael Hall slides down to count the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

NO!

 

"He kicked out! I can't believe it! Jimmy the Doom just kicked out of the Crimson Splash! By all rights, this match should be over, but Jimmy the Doom just refuses to go away," Pete says, amazed.

 

"I want this guy tested! He's got to be on something!" King yells furiously.

 

Skull pulls Doom to his feet and whips him to the ropes, but Jimmy simply bails to the outside. Doom goes under the ring yet again, and emerges with a bag. However, rather than go back in the ring, Jimmy motions for Crimson Skull to join him on the outside. Skull obliges, and narrowly dodges a swing from Jimmy.

 

"What the hell is in that bag?" King asks.

 

"Looks like it's potatoes. The old ten pounds of Yukons," Pete replies.

 

"What do you mean, 'the old ten pounds of Yukons'? Someone before this jackass used potatoes?"

 

"Well...there's a chance someone has..." Longdogger mumbles.

 

Crimson Skull keeps backpedaling and quickly grabs a druid. Jimmy keeps advancing, whirling the sack of spuds around, but Skull tosses the druid straight at Doom, knocking him to the floor. Jimmy shoves the druid away and sits up but gets kicked in the face by Skull. The super villain makes a lateral press and Anthony Michael Hall scrambles out of the ring to make the count.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE-NO!

 

"Shoulder up! Jimmy the Doom is not going down any time soon!"

 

"Are you kidding? He's barely kicking out at the last possible second. It won't be much longer before the match is over," King says.

 

Skull pulls Doom, who is still clutching his bag of potatoes, and rolls him into the ring. Before Crimson Skull can get inside, though, 'The Divine Wind' shambles towards him, but gets knocked down with a big right hand. Skull picks Akira up and whips him violently into the steel steps, jarring them loose from the ring.

 

ENVIOUS!

 

Skull slowly rolls into the ring just as Jimmy the Doom rises to his feet. Crimson Skull advances, ducks a swing from the potato sack, and nails Jimmy with a punch. Skull fires off another punch, but Doom leans out of the way and bashes him in the stomach with the bag of tubers. Jimmy drops the bag, grabs the chair and places it at his feet. Doom takes hold of Skull's head and sits out, driving his face into the steel.

 

INEXORABLE!

 

"Doom Factor! This should be the end of the match!" Pete exclaims.

 

"No chance!" King shouts even louder.

 

Jimmy the Doom rolls over, revealing the Crimson Skull's crimson skull, as blood is pouring out of his nose, mouth, and forehead. Jimmy points to the corner, staggers over, climbs to the top buckle, and jumps, flipping through the air. Doom lands head-first on Skull's chest, rolls over and falls back, hooking his leg.

 

"Oh dear lord. That looked bad. I think he was trying for Jimmy's Jump, but it didn't seem to go right," Pete says somberly.

 

"He better not win by screwing up a move," King mutters.

 

Hall slides in to count, and like some B-move science fiction movie monster, Bruce Blank gets to his feet, watermelon obscuring his vision.

 

ONE!

 

Blank bumps into the ropes and turns around.

 

TWO!

 

Bruce steps over Crimson Skull's leg, unaware that he's so close to the pin, or perhaps, that even a pin is going on.

 

THREE!

 

With a glorp, Blank wrenches the melon off his head just as Anthony Michael Hall jumps up to signal for the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, and NEW Hardcore champion, JIIIMMMYYY THE DOOOOOM!" Funyon booms.

 

Doom grabs the belt and lifts it high while Blank goes on a rampage, smashing the chair into the turnbuckles as Storm fades to commercial.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

You know, I thought about posting and yelling about people should reply/comment if they've read it (And judging by the number of views, they have), but I really don't comment on winning matches as much as I should, so, I won't start a pot-kettle thing going.

[Bruce Blank 0]

For a self admitted rush job it's a pretty good match actually

 

I would have liked to really see the "falls count anywhere" stip pushed more - just a personal preference (as you can probably tell from my match )

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

Yeah. It took until the due date before I really got comfortable with the match style. This usually happens with me with four-ways or larger.

 

Also, yes, I was considering having Skull or Blank drag one of the smaller guys backstage, then have the other two chase after them, then come back to the ring or something, but I didn't have time.

 

I hope Akira puts the springboard backrake into his arsenal. And Crimson Skull employs knockout powder/Heff's blinding laser of EVIL~!