King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2005 As we come back to HeldDOWN~!, we're greeted by the sight of an empty chair. But, never fear, we're not getting desperate for things to do because everybody's taking their balls home with them. Obviously pre-recorded, the empty seat is soon filled, as the mysterious Benefactor that's been plauging the Women's Division walks into view and sits herself down. Sat in front of the camera, The Benefactor's mask still shields her identity. Of course, masks don't disguise voices. But when she finally speaks, she sounds...odd. Almost manly. Almost like Ole Anderson with a voice distortion box. BENFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) Good evening. COACH Holy shit, it's the Black Scorpion! The Benefactor is the Black Scorpion! COLE No, silly. It's clearly The Shockmaster's voice. BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) As you may have seen in recent weeks, Ashley Street has foolishly tried to 'out' me. She made the grave mistake of calling me out. The thing is Ashley, you don't know who you're messing with. Maybe you should have visited your good friend, Jenny Adams, and asked her what happens when you get on my bad side. But, you didn't. And now, you've gotten yourself firmly on my bad side. In recent weeks, I've had you destroyed. I've had you beaten. I even smashed you in the head with a chair myself. And, last week, I enlisted a woman who has proven she can get the job done. The woman who took care of Jenny Adams. Brodie Lewis. The Benefactor laughs, which is dubbed over with the distorted voice, about as accurately as most karate films are dubbed over. BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) Rest assured, she has been rewarded for her actions last week. But still, I have a problem with you. You still hold the OAOAST Women's Title. So, I would like to take this time to send a message to all of the women in the OAOAST. Every single one. Whether you agree with me or you don't, I can make you very, very rich. Reaching to the side of her chair, The Benefactor pulls a briefcase up into view. Off come the locks, before The Benefactor turns the case to the camera and opens it up, revealing one hell of a lot of money inside. BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED)- At World Without End, Ashley Street, your world WILL end. I have spoken at length to our General Manager Calvin Szechstein and he has organised an OAOAST Women's Title Match. It will be Ashley Street defending...against Brodie Lewis. She has already had a taster of my gratitude. Now, OAOAST females, you could be next. Because, that match at World Without End...will be a Lumberjill Match. COLE Lumberjill? BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) Every single female in the OAOAST is eligible to come to the ring and act as a Lumberjill for the match. And that is where the money comes in. I don't care if it's Valerie, Constance...even you, Molly Matthews. Whomever is responsible for Ashley Street's demise will reap the rewards. Friend or foe. And I know there are some of you now, thinking 'why should I help, I like Ashley'. Ask yourself, how much is that friendship worth? For, I am offering the contents of this briefcase...that's $50,000 ladies...to ANY female responsible for the downfall of Ashley Street. And of course, should that demise be a particularly 'effective' one, then I may feel even more generous. The Benefactor laughs again. BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) Think about Ashley. You messed with me and now, I am going to mess with you. At World Without End, when you stand in that ring staring at Brodie Lewis...you will have every eye of every female in the OAOAST firmly fixed on you. You can't trust anyone anymore Ashley. Because, as soon as you turn your back, there will be a queue of people lining up to stab you in the back! So, good luck at World Without End Ashley. I guarantee, you're going to need it. The feed suddenly cuts, leaving just a static screen until the director cuts back to Sofa Central. COLE My god, this benefactor situation is getting out of control. Poor Ashley Street has got to defend her title against that psychotic Brodie Lewis at World Without End, knowing that all around the ring, there'll be every member of the Women's Division one trip or one attack away from $50,000. And she doesn't know who to trust! She doesn't know who'll take a chance at the money and who won't, not for sure! CABOOSE I'll tell you one thing Cole, this benefactor, whoever she is, is a genius! COLE And rich too! Where's she getting all this money? COACH Rich boyfriend? CABOOSE Just because that's where you get all your money, doesn't mean everyone else is incapable of looking after themselves. COLE And, on that note, let's go to a break. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
