Meltzer tries to explan Kane

[The Decemberists 0]

Reading the old Herbs Tidbits and found this, which is pretty funny and thought it needed pointing out.

 

Kane is really Glen. I think he was once the Unabomber. As a child, he was in a fire that killed both his parents. Except his real father was Paul Bearer, who raised him from the age of nine. Mark was also raised by Paul Bearer after his parents died in the fire. However, even though they lived in the same house as children, Mark thought Glen had died for 20 years until he showed up in St. Louis the day after Brian died. Brian really died. Mark's parents really didn't. Nor did Glen, nor did Mark really think Glen died. He knew that was just a clever

wrestling storyline. Nor did they live in the same house. Anyway, Glen told Paul that Mark set the fire that never took place. Mark wanted to kill Paul for sayng he murdered his parents because Glen used to fool around with fires and was the one who set the fire. Paul was having an affair with Mark's mom and was actually Glen's father. Mark wanted to kill Paul for that one. Glen and Paul set Mark on fire and choke slammed him into his mother's bones after they exhumed the grave. Eventually Mark got so mad that they fought each other. But that was really a promotional stunt by Vince to draw a buy rate for Wrestlemania so Mark hated Vince. So because he hated him so much, he and Glen got together to be his bodyguards. But they got yelled at because Vince was an ungrateful asshole so they destroyed Vince's ankle. Actually that was because why? The same reason Paul Wight, Vince's top enforcer, turned face to get away from Vince being such an asshole and because Rock was such an asshole and was back with him two weeks later, in the role of Vince's top enforcer and running in to help Rock. Anyway, as it turned out, after spending a year fighting Glen because he'd killed his parents, Mark admitted he was the one who killed his parents and burned his brother. And the police show up to arrest wrestlers every Monday but nobody ever questions him. And Paul loved those parents and Glen, his son. So now, Paul and Mark are back together. And Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara's attention to the minutest detail make them the greatest script writers on television.

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

Paul set Mark on fire and choke slammed him into his mother's bones after they exhumed the grave

 

 

---

 

I thought I was the only person who remembered this

[Papacita 0]

Out of curiosity, what did everyone think about the locker room interview where Lawler and Paul Bearer were discussing Taker's mom?

 

"Then little Taker came down the stairs and I had to stop him. If he'd have come one step further he'd have seen his mother's legs...one was in New York and the other was in LA!"

[Chazz 0]

Out of curiosity, what did everyone think about the locker room interview where Lawler and Paul Bearer were discussing Taker's mom?

 

"Then little Taker came down the stairs and I had to stop him. If he'd have come one step further he'd have seen his mother's legs...one was in New York and the other was in LA!"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

I thought It was edgy and clever at the same time. The best part was how It was revealed to the audience, with Bearer and Lawler talking candidly after they thought The camera was off. When they came back from commercial, Lawler then "apologized" for his comments.

[JN News 0]

Paul Bearer:Your mother was a lousy, damn, two-bit whore!

[Lil' Bitch 0]

YOU'RE A GOD DAMN MURDERER!

[Art Sandusky 0]

What's odd is that this doesn't give me nearly the headache reading about old WCW angles does.

[Guest Brian]

I think that's because some of those WCW angles originally had potential...I've been compiling the quotes in my sig.

 

This, on the other hand...

[Art Sandusky 0]

Nah, I never look at all of that crap and say it had potential. It's all just really, really sad to read.