Hulk Hogan Will Die in 2007

[St. Gabe 0]

Hulk Hogan Biography

 

 

 

Hulk Hogan (June 23, 1955-October 16, 2007), wrestler, actor of unmatched ability, genius, superhero, and rennaisance man), was originally a mild-mannered physicist experimenting with quantum and clones until an experiment gone awry merged his body with the wrestler known as the Undertaker, transforming them into a super-wrestler that even Jesse Ventura could not beat.

 

Table of contents [showhide] 

1 Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold

 

2 Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world

 

3 The ceremony of innocence is drowned

 

4 Hulk in the world of today

 

5 The best lack all convictions, while the worst are full of passionate intensity

 

[edit]Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold

Haunted by his disfigurement, Hogan roamed the Earth, causing alternately terror, laughter, joy, and relief everywhere he went. He thought no one could ever love one as deformed as he, but the power of music would change all that

 

[edit]Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world

Encouraged by the rebellious new sound of Punk, Hogan formed the band Bad Gas in 1929. Though other bands, such as the Ramens, insisted that Punk was not new at all, being in a band still allowed the Hulkster to get laid.

 

One day I ate a pie but it wasn't quite what you call a flan so i wondered what it was until i thought 'hey, i'll just kill it with a shovel and it will tell me with it's last breath' but then i saw it didn't breathe so i though how can i make it breathe but before i even had time to try anything the BRADY BUNCH burst through the wall and kicked it's not-quite flan ass all the way to hulk hogans house and he said to me "well, you did well, but it was indeed a flan, so you must pay for your ignorance" and then like ALL the power rangers came in and kicked he mans ass as i screamed "NO DON'T KICK HIM HE'S HE MAN" But it was too lat and he said "hulk, take good care of Skeletor" before like jay leno and conan O Brian all like came in and blew him up with a rasin and that's why I'm dedicating my life to the HULK HOGAN RESEARCH FOUNDATION for all those lonely poor children who aren't quite smart enough to know a flan when they see one, so they never have to see he man go through what he did like i did because i came away mentally scarred and called pete MY NAME IS IRIQUOIS DAMMIT YOU DUM DUM HUBA HUBA HOLA HOLA DING DING SING SING YUA YUA JING JING LING LING singing gorrila

 

 

 

[edit]The best lack all convictions, while the worst are full of passionate intensity

[Richard 0]

http://members.aol.com/INWOsuxRED/Bret.html

[Guest clockworkraven]

Jesus was a pretty cool dude from back in the day, and he is one of the greatest men ever to live. He lived a long time ago and nobody knows what colour he was so, most people pretend he was purple, since most important races are. A lot of people make Jesus seem like he was an uptight dude, but really he just liked to get drunk and hang out with prostitutes and talk about getting it on with his father who also happened to be God. One of Jesus' closest friends was Jack Van Impe. If Jesus was alive today (which if you take a casual look in any  South American phone book seems to be very much the case) he would be a great fan of Cheese, and all things cheesy, as well as Poulton-Le-Fylde's "premier punk band", having fronted Teenage Jesus and the Jerks himself, in his late 1900s of age. In his early teens, he traveled in time and teamed up with Buddah, Mario and Kurt Cobain to form the very first Power Rangers and fight the evil Sith lord Oprah. Jesus was also a Jedi and partied with the artist formerly known as prince, Obi Wan Kenobi and the many house flies that followed him around. These flies followed him around because of the fact that Jesus never took a bath, because he was allergic to water. When the Greek God Athena heard of this she gave him the power to walk just above the water, so that he would never actually have to touch it. Jesus' powers have no effect on anything coloured yellow, but they get a +5% bonus versus anything green, and will take half damage in a saving throw of 2d6 against all sodomite-based attacks. Jesus was a bastard as I'm pretty sure God and Mary were -- in fact -- not married.

 

Despite what you may have heard, he really only likes you as a friend.

[cbacon 0]

Bret Hart and Steve Austin have well known hatred between each other because Austin stole Bret's gimmick of being The Obscene Cursing Man who hates and beats up his boss. So to get even, Bret Hart went to WCW and stole Austin's gimmick of a no-push midcard jobber.