WWE: Sooners vs. SCM

[Tony149 0]

BUFFER
World Without End continues with tag team action, and it is set for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by the foxiest honey in South Central L.A., Shyanne; at a total combine weight of 535 pounds, the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA! 

Not surprisingly, the South Central Militia are greeted rudly. In a clear shot at Holly-Wood, the woman she injured, Shyanne leads the SCM to the ring wearing tight leather pants and jacket over a white t-shirt, sending the male hormones into overdrive. But that isn't the only part of the SCM's entrance that stands out. There's no music, which in some ways incite the crowd ever further. 

COLE
Never in my 8-plus years in this sport have I seen a group of individuals so cold. For Shyanne, a woman I describe as a cold-hearted [i]bitch[/i], to come out here mocking Holly-Wood's appearance, it sickens me. Absolutely sickens me. I commend General Manager Calvin Szechstein for some of the decisions he's made, but I think he's totally wrong in allowing those 3 individuals to compete while Holly and the Heavenly Rockers remain on the shelf. 

COACH
Haven't they ever heard of playing with pain? 

COLE
You gotta be kidding me! They nearly broke Holly's neck; they broked Synth's arm...[i]again[/i]; and Logan is broken emotionally. 

COACH
Holly's neck [i]wasn't[/i] broken; Synth's arm will [i]heal[/i]; and Logan can buy another [i]bitch[/i]! 

COLE
I can't believe you. 

COACH
Believe it. 

BUFFER
And their opponents. From the state of Oklahoma, weighing 525 pounds, the SOONER BRUUUUISERS! 

The crowd is solidly behind the Sooner Bruisers, Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein" blaring in the background. Frank and Frankie noticably banged up, particularly Frankie, whose ribs are taped. But that doesn't stop them from heading to the ring confidently. The Sooners are completely focused on the men in the ring, not letting them out of their sight. Frank takes off his sunglasses, revealing a black eye. 

COLE
There you see it, ladies and gentlemen. Results from the sneak-attack perpetrated by the South Central Militia. Now we know why the Sooner Bruisers weren't in attendence the night Jim Cornette gave the South Central Militia's answer to their challenge. 

COACH
We don't know that for a fact. 

COLE
Isn't the visual edvidence enough?

CABOOSE
For all we know, it could've been a bad fall. 

COACH
Exactly. 

COLE
You two should listen to what you say on the shows sometimes. The BS that comes out of your mouths is staggering. 

COACH
Much like what just came out of Frank's mouth. Not only did he cuss Marcellus out, but he called his sister a "whore"! That's no whore, that's the foxiest honey in South Central L.A., baby. 

Frank's comments obviously doesn't fly well with Marcellus and Vincent, who try baiting the Sooners into the ring. They know they're going to be hit once they step through the ropes, despite Nick Patrick's best efforts to keep the SCM away, but they do so anyway, ready to fight. Marcellus and Vincent hammer the Sooners across the back as they step into the ring. It doesn't take long for the Sooner Bruisers to fight back. Nick Patrick attempts to regain some order, but the situation degenerates into an unsanction Texas Tornado match, with all 4 men slugging it out. Marcellus stuns Frank with a kick to the mid-section, and tries following up by whipping the Man of Tomorrow to the ropes, but Frank reverses and connects with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Frank scoopes Marcellus off the mat and fires him to the corner while Vincent Santana shows the viewing public why he'll never be mistaken for a wrestling technician when he RAKES Frankie's eyes and throws him through the ropes to the arena floor. Santana goes out after the Psycho Gremlin and drives him face-first into the RING STEPS. Frankie shakes off the cobwebs and grins, then floors Vincent with a Soonerline. 

"OW, OW, OW, OWWWWWWW!"

Frankie grabs Michael Buffer's CHAIR and... 

* BOOM *

...hits Vincent over the head. Santana goes down, but he grabs the top of Frankie's trunks and hurls him into the guardrail. Frankie crashes sternum-first. His chin and arms draped over the railing, Frankie gives Vincent a free shot at his injured ribs, and Vincent doesn't waste the opportunity to use the chair as a weapon. Inside the ring, Frank is perched on the middle turnbuckle, hammering away on Marcellus. Outside, Vincent goes head hunting -- but Frankie manages to rip the chair out of Santana's hands in mid-swing and...

* THUD *

...throws the chair in Vincent's face! 

COACH
I'm outta here, fellas!

CABOOSE
So am I. 

COLE
Wait for me!

Triple C drop their headsets and flee Sofa Central. Why? Because Frankie comes over and takes the SOFA the announcers commentate at and tosses it in Vincent's direction, crashing it down on him! Frankie thinks about ramming Vincent into the sofa but fans ringside talk him out of it, telling him to send Vincent into the guardrail instead. Packs more of a punch. The ringside fans are sent into a frenzy when Frankie takes their advice and rams Vincent head-first into the guardrail. He leans over the railing to allow fans to rub his head. Frankie spots a hot chick and LICKS her lips. Thankfully, the chick is amused (i.e. plant that's Frankie's real life girlfriend) and saves the OAOAST from a lawsuit. The Psycho Gremlin grabs Santana and whips him to the RINGPOST. Vincent going in shoulder-first. Frankie, along with the sold out crowd HOWLS as he follows up, lunging forward and...SOONERLINING NOTHING BUT STEEL! 

COLE
Frankie took a chance and it didn't pay off. He thought he had Vincent where he wanted him, but Santana suckered him in. 

COACH
Which isn't too hard to do, by the way. 

COLE
We're back with you, fans... 

CABOOSE
Minus the sofa. 

COLE (CONT'D)
...from what's left of Sofa Central. Well, we'll get the sofa whenever they're done with it, and it looks like they are. I know Halloween is tomorrow night, but what a match we're being treated to.

COACH
It's [i]not[/i] even a match, Mikey. The bell never rang! 

* DING DING *

COLE
It did now. Things started so hot and heavy that I didn't even notice. That must be why there hasn't been a disqualification. Under normal circumstances, the chaos we've seen so far would of been ruled a DQ long ago. Good pick-up, Coach. And good officiating by Nick Patrick. 
Yes, weapons have been used, but the wrestlers are still able to defend themselves. 

Inside the ring, Frank wraps up Marcellus in a small package for two. Marcellus gets back up first and levels the Big Bad Re-Booty Daddy with a clothesline. The two roll around the ring exchaging blows, with Frank coming out on top because, well, he came out on top. The chemical enchanced freak drives the forearm repeatedly into the face of Wallace, while on the outside Vincent and Shyanne put the boots to Frankie, prompting Nick Patrick to step out and give Shyanne a warning. Next time she will be ejected. As Nick walks with Shyanne, the two having to maneuver around the sofa, Vincent hits Frankie with a fan's CUP OF BEER. Those with low brain cells sip whatever amount of spilled beer they can that runs from the mat to the concrete floor behind the railing. 

CABOOSE
To think those are somebody's kids. Their parents must be [i]real[/i] proud. Imagine going up to their mothers and telling them they saw their child sipping beer from mats sweaty men have been stepping on all night on the telly. 

COACH
Mats morons like Frankie Frankensteiner have been down on. Stupidity is contagious, you know. 

COLE
I do. I see it every Thursday night with you two. 

Vincent kicks Frankie low. Doubled over in pain and grabbing his crotch, Frankie is helpess as Vincent picks him up for what appears to be a back suplex, but neuters the Psycho Gremlin instead, CROTCHING him on the GUARDRAIL!  The sofa is then brought back into the field of play, as Vincent shoves it in Frankie's face, knocking him off the railing. Back in the ring, after having just been rammed into the turnbuckle, Frank is whipped to the opposite corner and nailed with a follow-in clothesline. Marcellus hits the side of the ring his partner, Vincent, is re-entering from as Frank staggers out of the corner. The two lock eyes and nod in agreement. Marcellus lowers the shoulder and charges full speed ahead towards Frank, with Vincent running right behind him. Frank leapfrogs over Wallace and catches Santana in midair trying to execute the running forearm shot he loves to utilizied. Frank perfectly times the FALLAWAY SLAM so that Vincent lands on Marcellus on the rebound! Santana is kicked out of the ring. Frank blocks a right from Marcellus and delivers a spinning belly-to-belly suplex! 

ONE...

TWO...

KICKOUT! 

Frank grabs Marcellus' bald head and brings him back to his feet, driving the knee into the gut. Front facelock applied, Frank attempting a vertical suplex, but Marcellus floats over and and takes Frank up for a back suplex. He holds Frank up in the air for Vincent, who comes off the top with a clothesline. Modified Doomsday Device. Marcellus downs the leg down on the Man of Tomorrow's massive chest for good measure. 

ONE...

TWO...

KICKOUT! 

COLE
Frank gets the shoulder up! The Man of Tomorrow having to fight two men, his brother Frankie still down outside. 

COACH
If you had any balls, Mikey, you'd understand why he's still done outside. 

Frank whipped towards Vincent, who hits the strongman with a nasty lariat. Marcellus drops down and begins choking the life out of Frank. He tells Vincent to go up top. The South Central Militia debut a new double-team maneuver -- a vertical suplex/shoulder block powerslam combo. Santana rolls out of the ring so that his Marcellus, who's the legal man, believe it or not, can make the pin. 

ONE...

TWO...

TH-- NO, Frankie breaks it up! The crowd howls. Not Frankie, who goes to work on Marcellus and Vincent. He gets in a 3-point stance and takes Vincent over with a shoulder block to the knee. Scoope slam followed by a Soonerline for Marcellus. Frankie with a big right hand to Vincent. He fires him across the riiiing... Powerslam! Marcellus tries blindsiding Frankie, but big brother Frank spins Wallace around and rocks him with a right. The Sooners Bruisers are in full control as they whip the South Central Militia to the ropes. Frankie with a military press slam, and Frank with a backdrop. Santana rolls to the ropes and pulls himself back up. For the second time tonight, Frankie misses a Soonerline, with less painful results this time, and is backdropped over the top rope. Frank catches Vincent coming at him with a T-Bone suplex. He isn't able to stop Marcellus, who stuns him with a flying shoulder block. Wallace brings the bleach blond back to his feet, setting up for a double-arm DDT, but Frank goes behind and nails Marcellus with a BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX!

ONE...

TWO...

THRE-- NO! Vincent breaks up the count. He kicks Frank while he's down, buying his partner time to recover. Both men now stompping Frank. They pick him up and whip him to the ropes. DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE. Their double-teaming worked so well the first time they'll try it again. This time a DOUBLE HIP-- No, Frank lands on his feet and ducks under another double-clothesline, which the Militia do as well as Frank comes off the rebound. They turn around and...

* WHAM *

...are our leveled by a TOP ROPE SOONERLINE from Frankie! The crowd howls in unison. The Sooners nail Marcellus and Vincent rising back up to their feet with rights. The Militia respond with double eye rakes. They scoope the Sooners up for a pair of bodyslams, but Frank and Frankie float over and hit stereo belly-to-bellys! Nick Patrick counts both pins. 

ONE...

TWO...

THREE-- NO, DOUBLE KICKOUT! 

Frank shoots Marcellus off to the ropes, while Frankie climbs up the turnbuckles from inside. Frank takes Marcellus down with a stiff Soonerline, then kisses the peak of his bicep before dropping the elbow. As the referee goes down to count, he misses Shyanne, who has been pretty quiet throughout the match, step onto the apron and take Frankie's feet out of under him, causing him to crotch himself on the top turnbuckle. Frank gets a two count. The jeers from the crowd grabs the referee's attention. Both he and Frank look over and see Frankie straddling the top turnbuckle in pain. Frank goes to check on his brother, and is rolled up from behind! 

ONE...

TWO...

KICKOUT! 

Frank pops back to his feet and goes down following a boot to the face. Vincent hits the ropes and drills Frankie with a running forearm smash, sending him fall off the top to the arena floor. With Frankie out of the way, the South Central Militia signal the end is near. Marcellus places Frank in a front facelock while Vincent goes to the top. Out of the corner of his eye, Marcellus sees Frankie getting up on the apron. He rushes but successfully connects with the suplex. It does, however, slightly throw his partner's timing off. Vincent dives off the top, but Frank gets the KNEES, knocking the air out of Vincent. 

The crowd cheers the failed double-team maneuver known as the Outline. Marcellus charges Frankie, who sticks his head between the ropes and rams the shoulder into the gut of Wallace. Instead of going for the usual sunset flip one expects after the old shoulder-through-the ropes spot, Frankie brings Vincent up to a vertical base.

COACH
INCOMING!

COLE
What?

COACH
INCOMING!

Triple C dive for cover. OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX ONTO SOFA CENTRAL FROM THE APRON! 

"HOLY SHIT!"
"HOLY SHIT!"
"HOLY SHIT!"

Shocked expressions all around. The guys in the truck cut to numerous fans with their mouths covered and/or jumping up and down in awe. The Coach, all too happily, consoles Shyanne, who can't stand the sight of her brother's torque body on the sofa. Both he and Frankie are down. It took a lot out of both men. Inside the ring, Frank drapes his arm over Vincent. 

ONE...

TWO...

TH-- NO, KICKOUT! 

Vincent and Frank get back to their feet and trade haymakers. Frank lands a right that sends Vincent reeling to the ropes. Santana bounces off and drills Frank with a RUNNING FOREARM SHOT! He dives on top and hooks the leg. 

ONE...

TWO...

NO! Nick Patrick waves off the count, citing the illegal man in the ring. Vincent and Shyanne can't believe it. Both aruge with the referee, wanting to know why Nick counted if Vincent was the illegal man. Our hundred thousand dollar cameras pick up the in-ring conversation between Nick and Vincent. 

"That's bullshit!"

"No, sir. You're the illegal man."

"Then why the fuck did you count?"

"I momentarily lost track of who the legal man was. It was my fault."

"You damn right it's your fault, mother--!"

Frank spins Vincent around and hammers him right between the eyes. He grabs Santana's left arm and backs him against the ropes, whipping him across the ring. In the background, we can see crew members scrambling to get Triple C's headsets working. In the meantime, they hand them wireless microphones. TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM! The Man of Tomorrow pops back up, signaling for the Frankensteiner. Irish whip. THE FRANKENSTEINER! 

COLE
He hit it! But Vincent isn't the legal man. Frank didn't see -- or hear, for that matter -- the converstaion Vincent and Nick had.

Frank doesn't understand why the count isn't being made. Nick explains to him Vincent isn't the legal man. Frank tilts his head up with an  exasperated look on his face. He wanted to end it right there. Incredibly, Marcellus is the first to get back up outside, thanks in large part to his sister. Frank goes after Marcellus, drilling him in the gut with a forearm shot and pulling him through the ropes via a double underhook. Shyanne does her part in keeping her brother away from Frank, holding onto his legs. Frankie, on his knees, BITES Shyanne's ass, causing her to let go of Marcellus! She screams as Frankie continues to chew on her ass to the envy of red-blooded males around the world. The crowd boos as JIM CORNETTE appears at ringside, jumping onto the apron and distracting the referee. 

COLE
Oh great. What's he doing here? 

COACH
He's their representive. Remember? James E. keeps "The Man" from manhandling Moe and Vinnie. 

COLE
This match has already been chaotic. The last thing we need is another instigator. 

To the surprise of those who bought front row seats, NED BLANCHARD passes by and hops over the guardrail, hitting the 90210 enzurigi on Frankie outside the ring. Crotching to avoid detection, Ned runs over and hides behind Shyanne. Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice, aka the ring, we see SARCASTIC SIMON come off the top and nail Frank in the back of the neck with Jim Cornette's TENNIS RACKET! Marcellus falls on top of Frank as Simon rolls out of the ring and hides from the referee. 

COLE
No, damnit! Not like this!

ONE...

TWO...

THREE!

COLE
DAMN THEM! 

Immediately after the 3 count is made, Blanchard, Cornette and Singleton join the South Central Militia in the ring, and the 4 men proceed to stomp Frank until the Psycho Gremlin comes to his brother's aid. He does his best to fight the 4 men off but it's too much for one man to handle. Speaking of which, Ned jabs the handle of the tennis racket in the groin of Frankie, bringing him to his knees. 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* DING DING DING DING DING *

COLE
Oh, man! We need some help out here, damnit! If anybody in the back can hear me, get some damn help out here.

Shyanne frantically tries grabbing the attention of the SCM, jumping up and waving her arms. The horn dogs in attendence get off as her boobs bounce, but the SCM get the message and quietly exit. Cornette watches with a smile on his face as his lastest incarnation of the Midnight Express continue to pulverize the Sooner Bruisers. He waves for the SCM to get in on some of the action. When they don't he turns and is shocked to see them missing. He roams around looking for the SCM and to his surprise spots THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!"

COACH
What the fuck!?

Cornette's jaw drops. He's so shocked he's left speechless and thus unable to warn his team about the trouble that lies ahead. Corny saves himself, bailing out of the ring. To the surprise of no one, Logan goes straight for Ned. His left hand wrapped with a STEEL CHAIN, Logan spins Ned around and punches the Handsome Hustler in the face. Logan pounces on Ned, drilling him in the face with the chain-wrapped left fist. Carl Winslows and his security staff do a great job keeping the situation from escalating any further by quickly getting to the ring and separating the parties involved, but not before Synth lands a right on Simon. Logan manages to escape from the clutches of security and engages in a tug-of-war with Jim Cornette and Sarcastic Simon, with Ned as the rope! Cornette and Singleton tug on the legs while Mann tugs on the hair, ending with Logan plunking out a chuck of Blanchard's blond locks! Ned jerks his head back in a fit, drawing a huge POP as the fans see [color=red]BLOOD[/color] trickling down his handsome face on the AngleTron. 

COLE
The Heavenly Rockers! The Heavenly Rockers! The Heavenly Rockers! They're back! Oh yeah! 

COACH
So much for them being "broken," huh, Mikey?

COLE
Well...

CABOOSE
Remember what I've said about emotions? Some let it consume them, while others manage to control them. 

Logan throws his hands up, telling security he's calmed down. The hell he has. The crowd ROARS as Logan makes another play for Ned, but security once again steps in and restrains Mann. Carl threatens to cuff him if he doesn't cool it. Synth plays peace officer, getting his partner to calm down. He then asks for and receives a microphone. Logan is practically foaming at the mouth to get his hands on Ned, his hated rival. 

SYNTH
Yo, yo, yo. Yippie, yo, yippie, yay. What a better way for the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all's time to return than at the home of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland, Ohiooooo! 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!" 

COACH
Cheap pop!

SYNTH
Ah guess all moi can say about that is... the boys are back in t--

Logan rips the mic out of Synth's hands. 

LOGAN
Heh. You did it. You actually did it. You pissed me off. Me--the personification of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. You pissed ME off, goddamnit! And for that I want to thank you. Yes, you heard me right. Thank you. You see this chain wrapped around my fist? Look familar? It should, because it's the chain you used when you locked us inside the cage and had your way. I saved it to remind me what you put Holly through. Oh, believe me, I'd love to tear your heads off this minute for what you did to her. But I've learned to control my anger. After what you and that bitch -- not you Cornette, the other bitch, Shyanne -- did to Holly that fateful summer night, I was consumed with rage. Normally a couple of lines followed by hot, steamy sex with a couple of hot broads would take my pain away. It didn't. I needed something stronger. The anger that burned in my soul, which turned out to be a mild case of heartburn, caused me to seek the help of our very own Dr. Anderson and Dr. Pigley, The Love Doctors. I gave up E long ago, so I remember hearing about this morning after pill. Bingo! That's it. That's what I need. That'll take away my pain. As it turns out, the morning after pill isn't the cure for the common heartache. But considering they owned me a favor for sneaking them into the U2 concert, they gave me the pill. Hindsight being 20/40, if I hadn't drank down that entire bottle of Jack Daniels, I wouldn't have taken the pill. Luckily I didn't experience any side effects. So in a way, what happened to The Love Doctors at the hands of Los Diablos de Fuego was karma for them giving me the pill. 

Anyhoo, before I start rambling, let me tell you I found a way...well, more of a reason...to control the rage, my pain. Revenge for Holly. And in case you're wondering asshole, yes, I'm hitting that and you better believe I'm coming fast and furious on that piece of ass. 

Cornette and Simon have to restrain a bloody Ned on the ramp. Cornette repeatedly reminding the Handsome Hustler he's better than Logan. 

LOGAN (CONT'D)
And I'm coming after [i]YOU[/i], but not before we take care of business with the South Central Militia. Oh, and Shyanne, you'll get yours in time...bitch!

Logan flips the mic to Synth. 

SYNTH
If I were you 3 homo sapiens, I'd go find the South Central Militia and ask for a refund because they didn't get the job done. As you can see, we're back, jacked and amped up to the max! In the ring, the studio or onstage, The Heavenly Rockers pride ourselves on putting on one helluva show. Like my main Mann said, first we's take on the hood, then the Midnights, then the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. If that means having to go through Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, The Usual Suspects, so be it. Love ya, but us crazy mutha's gonna get done what Ms. Holly wanted us to do: win the gold. Got the record, now aiming for the belts. See ya on the next track. Word!

For the first time in a while, "G's & Soilders" hits. The music stops when the Sooner Bruisers shove Synth and Logan from behind. The Sooners are full of pride, they're not too happy the Heavenly Rockers came out and "saved them." Everybody from the fans, to the announcers, to security wait to see what will happen next. The Sooners extend their hands out to the Heavenly Rockers. They all shake hands to the delight of the crowd. "Frankenstein" kicks up, and the Heavenly Rockers raise the hands of the Sooners, who return the favor. 

COLE
All right. In an era fueled by power and money, it's nice to see good sportsmenship. The big news: The Heavenly Rockers have returned. Like Synth said, guys, what a better place to do so than at the home of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio. 

COACH
Ohiooooooo!

CABOOSE
I'll admit it. I missed the little buggers. Their music still sucks, but it's good to have them back.