Sjl crimson commentifications

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

I swear by my father's grave that Spiderman will pay for aborting the reverse inferno/semen match!

 

But seriously, nice show to all, setting up another humdinger of a show on Wednesday.

 

Note to all: Z just wrote the BEST MATCH EVER.  READ IT.  OH MY GOD.  I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THAT HARD SINCE...SINCE...

 

::embollism::

[Guest midnight_burn]

Z did indeed write the greatest thing ever, a delightful romp.

 

And i guess the JL is down 5 or so people, oh well, at least there should be less no-shows now.

 

Well, back to writing damn Crossfire match i go.

[Guest]

well, i picked up the win, so yay and all, but i was wondering if i could get some comments on how i used the commentary. i'm not really sure on each guy's charaters, so any help would be appreciated.

[Guest Suicide King]

Excellent job Z.  You may now love the Cock less.  But you don't have to.  None of us judge here.

[Guest Thoth]

Goddamn, Z.  You sure know how to make me happy.  Kickass shit.  You will be remembered for this one.

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

Z, that match was great....until I realized you spelled my namer STANGLER! It's STRANGLER, goddammit! I swear, you are SO autojobbed for eternity!

 

*throws his monitor against the wall*

[Guest realitycheck]

"Stangler?" ...really? Geeze, must of been that whole 'New England' accent thing. Lord knows I'd NEVER do a thing like that on purpose.

 

Anyway, it is good to know I hath pleased my elder gods, creating hope for myself in a bright, new tomorrow. (Mental Note: DON'T FUCK IT UP.) As much as I like the stroking of my ego, I think I'll talk about some of the other matches...

 

Impact has a very good n00bie match, one in which I actualy thought the commentary was pretty good. You obviously know who/what the characters are, so I won't bother you with those details. However, I think you overplayed the cock joke a bit, while also missing a few comedic chances with. Granted, maybe only *I* saw them, but that's me, I guess. Anyway, don't dwell on it too much, all the talented people get the hang of writing commentary and using the characters after a while.

 

Oh, and as a further note, try to blend a little serious commentary in, too. Jokes are good, but commentary should also be used to build a match effectively.

 

Moving on, IL beats Mak, nice. About darn time IL got his shot, too! Sydney beats Xero, in what I thought was a bit of an upset. Grumble... so much for my perfect predictions. And lastly, Ash beats out Duran Duran in his last match in the JL. I liked the finish, I must say.

 

And that should get this kickstarted...

 

-Z

And just because *I* started to talk about the other matches, doesn't mean that you shouldn't praise mine. Granted, Thoth, King and Edwin liking it should be enough, but additional ego-stroking/praise will be accepted. Really. I don't mind.

[Guest Sydney_Sky]

Wait.. my match won? That's impossible! Was it a default win?

 

*shocked*

 

I had a terrible time with that thing, I was all set to come on here and see that I lost. Yikes!

 

Not that it isn't a good thing. I really AM the Queen of Everything!

 

*throws kisses around*

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

MVS Promo

-Short and to the point. He’s back and he’s targeting someone. Textbook.

 

Attack on Tod

-You figure it is TNT, but it actually plays really well after MVS’s promise to attack someone; gives it a little mystery.

 

Impact vs. Kojack

-Very solid first effort.  Your descriptions are good and your action comes across clear. As you ask on the commentators, I would have them focus more on the match instead of only being comic relief.  Like the section with the drunk girl, she was just there so Edwin and King could crack jokes on her.  There was also way too many references about loving the cock, there is a point when an obsession becomes too unhealthy. Note to Impact: Change your theme music now or the Memphis Eel will chain you to a chair and make you listen to Captain and Tenille until your ears bleed.

 

Impact is taken out.

-I love the paragraph describing the actual scene. Also leaves you to wonder if it ties in to MVS and/or the beating on Tod.

 

Cutthroat vs. T-Bone

Two main things: you have to trim the run on sentences and your commentary needs to be livelier.  Your syntax could also use work, but I’m being a nit picky writer here. However, I don’t see where you are going with what you did, if anywhere. Cutthroat does not seem like someone who would do what he did. It sort of felt like a copout.

 

Cutthroat attack

-Didn’t read as suspenseful as the first two.

 

Scott Reid vs. Creed

-Creed joins the SJL and no shows twice without writing a match. I don’t know, if you don’t have the time or don’t think you can write up to the level of the other people here then don’t join in the first place.

 

Thoth verbal thrashing

-No complaints here, because I don’t want any of what he’s dishing out.

 

IL vs. Mak Francis

-I loved the beginning, very inventive and if you’ve read my matches you see I steer away from regular entrances when I can. Can’t say I liked the slapping Long spot, felt like that should have been an instant dq. The match itself was built up well and had some nice spots. IL is going to be tough to beat on Metal.

 

Francis is taken out

-Follows nicely with the others, but more clues need to start dropping here.

 

Jacob Helmsley vs. Johnny Generic

-The actual match probably would not have done justice to my drunken imagination.

 

Sydney Sky vs. Xero

-The cream rises to the top, don’t it? I love how you slip subtle humor seamlessly into your writing along with the more outrageous bits. Again, a nicely built up match to the finish. I’m going to have write my ass of for this Metal. Can’t I have a day off or be allowed to beat the living piss out of Cutthroat just one card?

 

Z vs. Flex

-The funniest thing about the commercial to start is that I could see the WWE working that with Booker T and Stacy. Overall, this is why I mark for Z. If the Memphis Eel ever becomes a legitimate wrestler I want a best of seven stupid ass gimmick matches.

 

Taylor is revealed

-Taylor turns on Tod to join Deathwish, now turns on Danny to go off on his own? I have to hand massive props to you guys on working such a complex, but well thought out angle that makes you keep guessing from second to second.

 

World Title Cage Match

-In comparison to the match I wrote, Ash and Durandal’s was much more action packed and I think had a better flow. I also think I did too much goofy stuff with the commentators instead of having them focus solely on this very important match. I thought my finish would be hard to beat, but Ash and Durandal certainly did it, although the prose I packed into the last few paragraphs of mine I still think is awesome. There is a spot toward the end where Frost choke slams Durandal and then suddenly he’s at the top of cage, kind of reads like they cut out a spot or two and forgot to replace them with something else, but that is the only complaint I make. I also give the men props for picking up on how Frost has been leaning face in his past few matches, but the Frostette, that was a little much. I half expected him to hand me a Coke. (I do enjoy the Frosty though.)

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

*has seizure and dies*

 

 

Interesting.

 

I must gives props to the Frosty one though. He's a great guy, and trust me, you're looking at him and Z as the next Ash and Durandal.

 

Whassup with all the no-shows? Don't fire all of them.. just hunt 'em down and kick their ass.. then fire them.

 

And yeah, it wasn't great, but I had Durandal's part and my pre-written endind, but I had an emergency come up and had to take care of it.

 

But I gotta give my props to Durandal for puttin' on one hell of a beginning. Good luck in the WF, dude. And when I get up there, one day... maybe we'll end up feuding again.

 

But the emergency took some time out. Good thing is evcerything's OK now. Thus, I just bridged the two together as fast as I could so that it wouldn't be too late and King wouldn't make me fight The Cock.

 

~Ash Ketchum, Still Wondering How He And Durandal Pulled It Off... ~

[Guest]

I knew IL was good and after reading that match he confirmed it by beating my ass like the n00b I am. I couldn't beat him even with about 100 extra words. Sorry I couldn't give you that old school match Frosty but I'll be gunning for ya if I ever get good enough...

 

I think his opener was the main factor in his "W" because it made the match seem hot, although I didn't really want to bring Kinkel back until either the Euro or TV title match. It's my fault that I didn't specify that on the Stats thread. I guess I can put him out because of IL's attack on him. Well there goes my win streak at 4.

 

Anyways I thought I put together a nice little match but I went over the word count and had to send it in as is. Can you guys give me some advice on what could have been dropped/trimmed or how I can improve this match. I know, I know...there are typo's up the ass but I was once again on CPT because I had to go home this weekend.

 

---------

[Fade in from commercial break]

 

The camera shows a shot of the MCI Arena and quickly cuts to inside the arena where they show a few choice signs from the SJL fanatics. They include the normal ones like F-R-A-N-C-H-I-S-E spelled out by nine fans; IL for President, I mark for Z and lastly X Force 9 rules. But there are a few abnormal signs like “Frost + Both Titles = Ratings”, “Jake Helmsley + semen = best match ever”, “If I’m a mark how come I know whose winning the world title”, “Suicide King loooooooooves the cock”, and finally “This isn’t OVW Flesher, you don’t have to do the job!” The camera pans in and Axis can be seen in between Edwin MacPhisto and The Suicide King.

 

Axis: Hello SJL fanatic we are back live on Crimson and after a nice opening match-up between SJL newcomer Impact and Kojack we’ve had two…uh…interesting matches.

 

MacPhisto: Well a couple of guys decided that they’d back talk the SJL commish’, get drunk and start some fights and they got put in they’re place. It all started on the plane trip down here with Creed talking about his amateur wrestling ability to Scott Reid…

 

King: Enough about that what’s up with these D.C. fans. They’ve got some curious signs and seem awful rowdy. I’d like it if that one sign wasn’t up there.

 

Axis: What sign?

 

King: Never mind!

 

MacPhisto: King don’t act like you don’t love the cock everyone loves the cock.

 

Axis: Neither of you are real men. Everyone at this table loves the cock…except for me. If you’ll recall last METAL Clair was giving out lap dances and I received one while certain people were spasming on the floor. And trust me, after that there is no way that I could ever love the cock!

 

King: Come on Axis. Everyone knows that Aussie’s love the cock!

 

MacPhisto: Anyways this match-up between Mak Francis and Insane Luchador should be a good one. So don’t leave your seats as SJL Crimson brings you “The Franchise” Mak Francis v Insane Luchador.

 

As the arena light turn off. Funyon gets ready and the crowd gets ready as “Down with the Sickness” plays on low in the background.

[Whispered] ‘Are you Ready?’….

 

Blue and White strobe lights flash as the Smarktron airs highlights of Mak Francis hitting the perfect kick on TNT. This is followed by a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis…

 

[semi loud] ‘Are you Ready?’….

 

And a clip of him planting Scott Reid with The Franchise Tag followed by the blue and white photonegative image again…

 

[screamed] ‘CAUSE THE FRANCHISE HERE!’

 

The Smarktron flashes the words 'The Franchise' as the lights partially come up. This allows the crowd to see Mak Francis posed with both fists in the air. A semi-loud “Franchise” chant breaks out as he walks down to ringside and again noticeably without mentor Tyler Kinkel. He smoothly enters through the middle ropes and Francis poses in the center of the ring raising his hands in a salute to the SJL fanatics.

 

Funyon: This match-up is scheduled for one fall and is for the #1 Contender to the SJL European and Television Titles. As per the stipulation of this match-up, the victor becomes #1 Contender to the SJL European Championship!! And the loser becomes #1 Contender for the TV Title…Making his way down to ringside…weighting in tonight at 225 pounds…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…“The Franchise” Maaaaak Fraaannnnciiiiis!

 

Axis: Francis again without Kinkel guidance and the question is can he beat the big time opponents without the help and advice of Tyler Kinkel.

 

MacPhisto: Also can he keep his four match win streak intact with Kinkel at ringside to save his arse!

 

King: Well we’ll soon find out!

 

Suddenly Mudvayne's "Dig" fills the arena and as the lights go out again. They soon flicker back on but the lights seem to be on a dimmer switch. A man stands tall on the top of the ramp, bending his back like a limbo pose, making a cross with his two hands.

 

Boom!

 

Black sparks cascades down the top of the Smarktron as Insane Luchador gets back to his normal stand and blood red sparks explode from the ground surrounding Rickmen.  A cascade of black mixed with red showers the stage Luchador leaps though a wall of black sparks landing on his feet with a confident smirk. The pyrotechnics dissipate as the Insane Luchador rolls into the ring.

 

Axis: Insane Luchador has left the New Sound and hopes to step out of their shadow today with a win over Francis and a shot at the European Title.

 

King: Luchador has always been one of the SJL’s best but a European Title shot could vault him into elite status.

Matthew Kivell asks for the bell and this match-up for the #1 Contender to the European Championship is underway. These two men are sizing each other up for what looks to be a great match!

 

Francis and Insane Luchador dance about the squared circle testing the ring as they go.  Finally both men stop skipping about the canvas and stand face to face in the center of the ring.

 

Axis: Why did they stop?

 

King: Just wait and find out…

 

MacPhisto: You have no idea either do you King.

 

King: Shaddup MacPhisto!

 

Insane Luchador or IL for short, just barely stares down at Francis, seeing as he has an inch of height advantage. Neither Francis nor IL has their guard up during this heated stare down. Both men’s’ eyes dance with excitement as the former New Sound member lands a backhand slap to the face of Francis that force him to take a step back whipping his head to the side. Francis drags a closed fist across his own face touching the slightly bloody corner of his mouth as his opponent just looks on putting up no guard or form of defense.

 

Axis: Blatant disrespect by Insane Luchador to “The Franchise”.

 

MacPhisto: Their not even attempting to put up a guard. Both men are boring holes into their opponent with eyes of intensity!

 

King: There’s no integrity or intelligence involved in this though. This is all about disrespect of something sacred. He’s being Blasphemous in regards to the respect of Mak’s pride. All this for the chance at Frost European Championship and I love it!

 

MacPhisto: Just as much as the cock I’ll bet…Zing!

 

Axis:  Uh…not that Francis is godly in any way of course! He’s only human and human nature says he won’t get mad he’ll get even…

 

Francis feigns a slap at IL and connects with his real attack. Andrew Rickmen is forced to brush a parcel of spit from his face, which was Francis’s intended target. Francis looks on with a smirk and emotion that could only be called superiority.

 

MacPhisto: And Francis answers back by spewing forth some saliva.  I think this match is getting personal, since the winner receives a shot at European Champion Frost who could be on the way to the SJL World Title after his match later tonight.

 

King: And the loser is relegated to a lowly Television Title shot. Why go TV when you can go Continental?

 

Axis: And these men just might be ready to start as they’re exchanging right hands in the center of the ring.

 

Insane Luchador starts off by blasting Francis with a right hand to the side of the head but Francis counters with his own right hand to the ear snapping Rickmen’s head to the side. After staggering back a step IL connects with Francis’s chin. But “the Franchise” doesn’t have a glass jaw and swings back in retaliation only to have his arm blocked. Luchador lands a right hand, and then after another parry he swipes at Francis, rocking him with another closed fist.  He grabs Francis by the wrist and tosses him towards the ropes. Upon his return IL leapfrogs over him and waits for him to come back, sliding underneath his legs. Francis turns around and receives a combination of punches that strike many different parts of his anatomy. Francis tries to protect himself as Luchador’s right and left handed strikes glance his covered up head and kidneys in particular causing Francis to backpedal. Francis finally catches an IL punch and turns it into a deep arm drag and holds on for an arm wrench.

 

Axis: Nice counter by Francis. He anticipated the blow and locks on a quality arm wrench slowing down the pace.

 

MacPhisto: Rickmen hit with a lot those punches and later in the match when fatigue sets in, Francis will feel them in spades.

 

Rickmen tries to counter the arm wrench by getting to his feet and grabbing “the Franchise’s” wrist powering it up into the air above their heads but Francis with his amateur background counters the high wristlock by releasing his hold and executing a standing switch and transfers into a headlock taking Luchador down to one knee. IL attempts to elbow out and the first one connects but Francis lets go and spins around behind him locking on rear chin lock. After grinding it in once he drops to his knees and executes a double leg takedown. IL and Francis tussle and spin about the mat but Luchador can’t get off his stomach. Finally Francis secures a three quarters nelson and attempts to lock in an STF variation that stretches the knees and neck/upper-back.

 

Axis: It seems that with every mat counter Luchador executes Francis has a maneuver to offset it up his sleeve.

 

King: Well the kid is a collegiate All-American and he’s been doing this type of grappling almost all his life. That’s real Greco-roman type wrestling at its finest. What were you expecting?

 

Matthew Kivell forces Francis to break the not yet existent hold because they’re in the ropes. He gets to three before Francis lets go and regains his vertical base while Insane Luchador kips up to do the same. Francis eagerly awaits another grappling session but IL’s too wise for that and delivers a boot to his abdomen. Then he follows up with a devastating DDT that leaves Francis perpendicular to the mat, spiking him on his head. Luchador flips him on his back before attempting the pin fall, all the while hooking the near leg.

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Axis: And a kick-out by Francis after two. The Insane Luchador swings the momentum in his favor with a solid DDT.

 

Insane Luchador brings a slightly stunned Francis to his feet and delivers a swift kick to his knee. Francis’s leg shakes but he doesn’t go down as the Luchador connects with another strike causing his rivals leg to quake in response. IL attacks with a third and final kick that once delivered emanates a loud thawp sound throughout the arena! This final punt takes his opponent down to one knee allowing Rickmen to rebound off the near ropes directly behind him and drag Francis’s head to the mat…hard…in a diving clothesline a la Bret Hart. But the Loco Luchador isn’t finished yet as he turn Francis perpendicular to the neutral turnbuckle and walk towards the ropes briefly exiting the ring before scaling to the top.

 

Axis: Insane Luchador’s going up top and he’s been known to execute some high impact moves from that turnbuckle over his illustrious career.

 

MacPhisto: This guy Luchador still has the speed and agility of a cruiserweight but he’s gained some weight and strengthened up making him into one of the most balanced wrestlers in the SJL.  

 

King: Mak’s on dream-street and Insane Luchador can put a hurtin’ on anyone from that top rope…

 

As King says this, IL leaps up into the air towards a fallen Francis in the center of the ring as he comes crashing down in a Huge Air Leg Drop!

 

Axis: That’s the Huge Air Leg Drop…The Insane Luchador goes for the cover and…

 

One…

 

 

Two…

 

 

 

T-

 

Axis: And a kick-out by Francis. Francis would do well to just ground the Loco Luchador for the rest of this match-up.

 

King: When IL gets around that turnbuckle he can hurt you with a variety of different attacks like the Hurricana a variation of the Hurricanrana, a Diving or even Top Rope Springboard Moonsault and the infamous 450 splash but none as lethal as his finisher the Brink of Insanity.

 

Insane Luchador picks up his fellow challenger and goes for a right hand but Francis blocks the attack and counters with a hard right hand to the mouth. IL goes for a straight right this time but it’s still deflected by Francis as he peppers him with a shot to the ear. Francis continues peppering him with right hands until he seizes IL’s arm and whips him into the ropes.

 

Axis: Irish Whip by “The Franchise” and he’s finally starting to get on the offensive with right hands! The Insane Luchador off the ropes and he ducks a clothesline from Francis. Luchador slides to a stop and grabs Francis in a waist lock from behind…but a standing switch by Francis…no reversed again by IL…

 

And Insane Luchador implements a quality German suplex. The strange thing is IL does not let go of the original waist lock. Instead he struggles to his feet and attempts another German suplex with success, holding the bridge because he doesn’t have the energy to attempt a third suplex. Kivell checks to see if Francis’s shoulders are on the mat and counts…

 

One…

 

 

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

 

Three…

 

Axis: And Francis gets the shoulders up off the mat!! I thought there might be a new #1 Contender to the European Title…

 

MacPhisto: Insane Luchador must be a little upset that Francis got the shoulder up after those two rolling German suplexes with a bridge!

 

The Insane Luchador a little peeved that Francis kicked-out lays the boots to his head, ribs, and shoulders. This causes Francis to be rolled toward the ropes where IL puts his head and neck under the bottom rope. Luchador jumps over the top rope for the inside out and…

 

Axis: The Insane Luchador with a Slingshot “Huge Air” Guillotine Leg Drop on Francis from the inside of the ring out. What a maneuver by the veteran Luchador. The move actually dragged Francis to the outside dumping him on his noggin.  

 

The action spills to the outside as Rickmen lays a few stomps to an already floored Francis. Luchador picks him up and bangs his forehead into the barricade causing “The Franchise to stumble backwards. IL attempts to whip Francis into the guardrail but it’s reversed and he gets his back implanted into the steel. Francis launches himself at IL in an attempt to clothesline him over the barricade but Luchador ducks and low bridges Francis over the guardrail. Luchador doesn’t even hesitate to jump the protective rail and lift Francis up for a right hand. The two men brawl out in the crowd trading blows until Luchador blocks and connects with two consecutive punches. He lands one more haymaker before hooking on a front face lock. IL tries to power “The Franchise” up into a suplex back over the guardrail but Francis blocks and hits a few rabbit punches to the gut. Francis grabs IL’s wrist and counters by twirling his arm into a fully extended position. Francis, now side by side with the former New Sounder, hooks his arm around the shoulders and neck area of IL. He lunges backwards, driving IL into the guardrail with a Side Russian Leg Sweep. Both men are down and out from the impact against both their bodies.

 

Axis: Francis continues to get the better of Insane Luchador with his counterattacks. But you have to wonder how much he hurt himself with that Side Russian Leg Sweep into the barricade…

 

MacPhisto: I love match like these with quick counters and good solid wrestling! Even though Luchador has used high-flying moves he has still kept a ground-based attack that’ll wear down Francis.

 

King: Don’t bust a nut MacPhisto! Sure this is a quality match but not up to the level of say…me! Former SWF World Champing, the Suicide King!!

 

Matthew Kivell approaches a five after a really slow count and both men fall over the barricade trying to claw their way to the ring. The two combatants climb up on the ring apron but Rickmen lands a combination of elbows to the gut jarring Francis back to the floor with a loud thud. Rickmen climbs through the ropes and is told by Kivell to back away. Kivell continues his count and at seven Francis’s right arm can be seen griping the apron. As he lifts his head up IL crushes his face with a demoralizing baseball slide. The crowd boos in response but Rickmen doesn’t care. He just runs towards the far ropes gaining momentum for his huge dive over the top rope at a dizzy Francis.

 

Axis:  Insane Luchador regaining control after that leg sweep from Francis but one baseball slide and Suicide Plancha later, he’s back in charge.

 

MacPhisto: Great height and full extension on that Suicide Plancha…

 

King: I’m probably the only person who can do a better Suicide Plancha than Insane Luchador!

 

MacPhisto: Are you really that conceited? I didn’t think it was possible but you love yourself more than you love the cock! And we all know how you absolutely looooooove the cock. There’s even a sign about it!

 

Axis: Can we stop talking about the cock please?

 

Insane Luchador drags himself and a battered Francis into the ring. After a standing leg drop he floats over for the cover hooking the far leg. Kivell slides into position and…

 

One…

 

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

Thr-

 

Axis: And Francis thrusts a shoulder in the air at two and a half. The Insane Luchador look just that…insane…as he gets to his feet. Luchador rushes towards Francis delivering constant punches and kicks to his already prone victim.  His blows connect with an almost defenseless Francis and back him up towards the ropes. Francis anticipates that IL will take a step after his next kick and catches him in a drop toehold that bounces IL’s neck in between the second and third ropes. Francis quickly scrambles to his feet and drags IL by the legs into the center of the ring. Then he drops two elbows to the back of Luchador’s neck like it’s a bad habit. Luchador tries to cover up but Francis lands another solid elbow drop. Francis picks Rickmen up backwards and he locks both hands about IL’s neck, while back-to-back with IL. Francis drops to his BUTT hanging IL’s neck over his shoulder as he sits down. Francis goes for the pin fall, hooking the near leg quickly as Kivell drops to the mat…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Th-

 

Axis: And a weak kick-out at two and half. Even though Luchador’s had most of the offense, he’s still hurting because of the daredevil nature of moves.

 

MacPhisto: While high risk moves hurt your opponent they can also end up hurting you more. To many risks compound and sooner or later they’re going to come back to bite you.

 

King: That’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said except when you called yourself a smutty hoe at the Halloween party.

 

MacPhisto: Cross dress one time when you’re drunk and you’re branded for life.

 

Axis: Can we please discuss that match and not continue your petty squabbles.

 

King & MacPhisto: No it’s what makes the show great!

 

Francis picks up Luchador and sets him up for an Irish Whip. He whips IL but just as suddenly short arms the whip back towards himself. Francis grips up IL as he tosses him half way across the ring with an Overhead Belly-to-Belly suplex. IL lands on his neck in a bundle of flesh and broken bones as Francis dashes over to him and covers. As Kivell glides into position, Francis remembers to hook the far leg…

 

One…

 

 

 

 

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three!

 

Axis: No! I can’t believe IL got the shoulder up? What resiliency by the Loco Luchador!

 

King: No need to oversell it Axis. Sure it was an unbelievable suplex but Luchador won’t loose his shot at European gold by a suplex no matter how good it is. I think that the only way either of these two men will go down is if they get hit by a finisher and even then if there’s still any energy left in their weak and puny, non Suicide King like bodies, they’ll get a shoulder of this canvas or my names not-

 

Edwin: “The Gambling Man”…Suicide “I love the cock” King…Zing!

 

Axis: Enough, all of these cock references are getting ridiculous. One thing happens back stage and everybody a jokester.

 

King & MacPhisto: But we’ve always been jokesters!

 

Francis picks Insane Luchador up off the mat and whips him into the neutral corner. He charges in but receives a double boot to the face.  Francis rushes in again only to receive the same treatment but this time he gets knocked to the floor. IL quickly hops outside the ring and scales the top turnbuckle waiting to hit another high-risk maneuver. Francis gets to his feet and stumbles around with his back to IL but as the face scream for him to watch out he turn into a jumping Insane Luchador.

 

Axis: Luchador wrapping his legs around Francis’s neck and shoulders for his patented “hurricana”… Francis blocks and he’s spinning around…but Luchador blocks the Spinning Sit-out Powerbomb by punching Francis in the head!!! Oh my God, Luchador just hit the “hurricana” flipping Francis’s head and back to the mat with authority. He holds the pin clinging to Francis’s left leg. Matthew Kivell gets into position and…

 

One…

 

 

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three!

 

Axis: Yes!

 

King & MacPhisto: No!

 

King: He’s flipped Luchador onto his back by bringing his held leg down to the mat!

 

One…

 

 

 

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three!

 

Axis: YES!

 

King & MacPhisto: NO!

 

MacPhisto: Luchador has REVERSED THE REVERSAL by locking his legs around Francis’s neck dragging his shoulders back to the canvas!!!!

 

Oneeeeeeee!

 

 

Twooooooooo!

 

 

 

 

Threeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

 

 

Axis: YEEEEES!

 

King & MacPhisto: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Axis: WHAT?

 

King & MacPhisto: Francis clipped Luchador’s ears with his calves and shot a shoulder up in a NICK OF TIME!!!!!

 

Axis: Unbelievable?!

 

Both men lay on the mat staring up at the lights breathing heavily as the crowd roars and gives a standing O for the two grapplers. The two men shakily get to their feet and gasping for breath as they trade chops and punches in the center of the ring! Francis lands a strike to the ear and IL doesn’t the same attack replicating the velocity of Francis’s blow. Francis lays into IL with a heavy knife-edge chop, leaving a red welt on the chest of Luchador but he fires back with his on knife-edge that stings the Franchise’s chest. They keep exchanging blows…

 

BHAP!

 

Crowd: Ooh…

 

BHAP!

 

Crowd: Ouch…

 

CHOP!!!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOO!

 

CHOP!!!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOO!

 

Finally Francis kicks Rickmen in the stomach and hits a DDT to a crazy pop from the packed house at the MCI Center. Twenty thousands faithful SJL fanatic count as Francis makes the cover…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

King & MacPhisto: YES!

 

Axis: NO! The Insane Luchador just got his shoulder up at the last second. Normally a DDT wouldn’t come so close to putting either of these men always but this grueling match has taken almost everything out of them!

 

King: I told you that they’d never go down to normal moves. That you can bet on!

 

MacPhisto: I am a booking God for putting this match together!

 

Francis rises to his feet and brings Luchador along for the ride. He whips IL into the corner and IL hits it face first. Francis stands poised in the middle of the squared circle, ready to connect with a superkick. He stands there awaiting IL’s next move and as he staggers out in a daze, Francis connects with his full extension superkick dropping IL to the mat faster than my friend in engineering dropped it as a major. Francis goes for the pin and…

 

ONEEEEEE…

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOO…

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEE!

 

Axis: NO…He kicked out of the perfect kick…

 

MacPhisto: Crazy match!

 

King: I’ll say it again only finishers! Nothing less will get the job done!

 

Francis can’t believe it but he picks Insane Luchador up again. IL connects with a surprisingly strong elbow shot to the jaw of Francis, which turns him around. Then IL locks on a Full Nelson, which Francis fights to get free of, as Rickmen runs towards the turnbuckle. He leaps up onto the second turnbuckle and comes crashing down onto the canvas with Francis’s face in between him and the mat.

 

Axis: Brink of Insanity! Brink of Insanity on “The Franchise”!

 

IL flips Francis on his back and goes for the cover…

 

ONEEEEEEE!

 

 

TWOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEE!

 

King & MacPhisto: IS IT…

 

Axis: YES! I MEAN NO! “THE FRANCHISE” WITH HIS FOOT UNDER THE ROPES!!

 

King: Stay calm Axis!

 

MacPhisto: The real question is was that Francis’s ring presence or was it just luck that Insane Luchador didn’t hook the far leg. What a match!

 

IL goes nut as Kivell informs him that he did not win yet. Rickmen back Kivell into a corner spitting in his face as he yells an expletive ridden rant! After about two minutes of ranting and pushing IL finally knocks referee Matthew Kivell out, as Francis slowly gets to his feet. Franchise walks behind IL and taps him on the shoulder causing him to turn facing Francis. Francis clutches IL and tosses him over his head in a Northern Light suplex holding the bridge. The crowd starts to count as referee Mark Hebner runs down the ramp. Hebner counts and twenty thousand voices can be heard along with him…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEE!

 

Axis: No?! Rickmen is actually bridging out of the Northern lights in an amazing feat of strength.

 

Luchador rotates and now Francis is on his back. IL grabs Francis’s legs and stands up straight draping him over his back. Rickmen slams Francis to the mat with the Alabama Slam and goes for the cover…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE-

 

Axis:  Not a chance! This match is never going to end.

 

MacPhisto: These two men are giving their lives to be #1 Contender to the European Title.

 

King: They’re good but still not as good as me! Former SWF World Champion The Suicide King!

 

Luchador picks Franchise up and tries to kick him in the gut to set up the evenflow DDT but Francis catches the leg and twirls Rickmen around briefly stunning him. After a knee to the gut Franchise hooks on a front face lock. The crowd explodes in cheer as Francis places his other hand in the air with three fingers up and his pointer finger and thumb forming a circle.

 

King: Here it comes.    

 

Luchador tries to shake free as Francis cradle the leg and lifts him up into the air. Not stalling at all Francis falls backward dropping Rickmen’s cranium to the canvas with a vile and stomach-turning THUD!

 

King: That’s it. The impact was unmistakable! The Franchise Tag claims another victim in the Insane Luchador! He’s just another highlight on the Francis’s Smarktron entrance!

 

MacPhisto: A truly devastating maneuver and unlike Luchador Francis drops his opponent on his head no where near the ropes…

 

Axis: Could it really be over!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

Funyon: And the winner of this match and the #1 Contender to the European Title…”The Franchise” Maaaaaaak Fraaanciiiiis!

 

Axis: I don’t have anything to close on this match with except it was magnificent effort for both men that put their bodies on the line for all these SJL fans.

 

MacPhisto: We’ll be right back

 

[Fade to commercial break]

[Guest Ace309]

Ash, Suicide... I'm very sorry. I wrote 3500 words and sent it to Ash, and then immediately finished my half of the PPV match. Then, because the Superior Lady was in town, I didn't look at my computer again until 5 PM. When I got here, there was a PM from Ash including a finish.

 

Long story short, I strung the two bits together with nary a glance at what Ash had written. Ash, you're a massive trooper for pulling that together on short notice, because I was, in fact, out all night.

 

That said, I'll read the card later today.

[Guest Grand Slam]

All I have to say (so far) is that Xero, in his infinite wisdom, absolutely, positively, unquestionably, irrevocably, unashamedly, worships The Cock.

 

Take that how you will.  

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Xero wants to make love to the Cock.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Rankings Top Ten

 

#1. Ash Ketchum (61)

#2. Durandal (37)

#3. Sydney Sky (35)

#4. "Insane Luchadore" Andrew Rickmen (31)

#5. Xero (29)

#6. Mafia (27)

#7. (tie) Flunkmasta Flexxx (26)

#7. (tie) Poisyn (26)

#9. Frost (23)

#10. Z (15)

[Guest Ace309]

Very nice show. I won't bother to say Z's match was hilarious, since everyone's said that and I didn't get half of the in-jokes.

 

I thought Cutthroat's match was ridiculous and self-serving.

 

Solid effort from Insane Luchador with an honorable mention to Francis. Impact's match, as stated above, was good with the exception of the commentary focusing almost entirely on the cock. I guess that's what happens when you love it so much, though.

 

Really not much more to say.

[Guest]

gah... i knew i shouldn't have used the cock so much... ah well. ::gets to work::

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Uh... yeah.  You might want to take it easy on the cock jokes.  If it hadn't been for Kojack only writing 1300 words, I probably would've fed your match to Thoth.

 

Trust me.  You don't want that.

[Guest]

eek... no, i don't want that at all...  ::runs away::

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Isn't this the 3000th reply on this board?

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

Z... I'm honored that you'd even think of putting me next to Thugg in a commercial like that. My god, I fell off my chair.....

 

Excellent show all around, minus whatever the hell the Cutthroat match was. I'm sorry, but electrical current will not be stopped due to a flimsy plastic cup, as the metal is surely able to connect to your flesh some other way. Electrons jump. WAS I THE ONLY GOOD ON AT CHEMISTRY AND BIOLOGY?!?!?!?

 

argle.

 

I am quite impressed at the other former American Sweetheart gaining a huge World Title #1 shot. No offense to Ash here, but GO SYDNEY GO!

 

And if you come out to 'The Middle' by Jimmy Eat World, maybe our relationship meant something... *sniff* *sniff* lol

 

Wow. That was fun to read.

 

Thoth, as ever, so funny when pissed.

 

-Annie