*--SWF From The Vault--*

[King Cucaracha 0]

It's Dublin, Ireland! Home of leprechauns, shamrock, Guiness, toothless simpletons and people with eyebrows on their cheeks. And tonight, home of SWF Storm. The Irishmen and women in attendance are going crazy as the camera pans the crowd, an alarming percentage of the crowd wearing green paddy hats. Oh yes. Stereotypes rock.

 

"We've taken out last commecrial break here on SWF Storm," Comet announces. "Meaning that we are ready to bring you, in it's entirety, the nine man battle royal that will determine seeding in the Cold Front Classic tournament! The nine men in the tournament know this battle royal could make of break their chances at winning the tournament...and, as a result, a shot at the World Championship. Robert, your thoughts quickly."

 

"Organised chaos." declares Bobby Riley. "And chaos that could pave the way for some hotshot nobody to get a shot at Toxxic. Not that there's likely anyone who could beat our champion..."

 

"Well, just look at the lineup Robert. We have the new ICTV Champion, both Tag Champions...one of whom is also the new Hardcore Gamers Champ, we have the Cruiserweight Champion, the USJL Champion, the former ICTV Champion, a former USJL Champion, perhaps the most prolific champion in SWF history by way of becoming an SWF Grand Slammer..."

 

"...and Danny Dagda."

 

"Well, don't sell Dagda short Robert. He is a very..."

 

"Ten bucks says he's the first gone."

 

"Uhm...Robert, it's not very professional to gamble while commentating on a live show."

 

"...twenty bucks."

 

"I don't think I..."

 

"Forty bucks."

 

"...make it fifty and I'll consider."

 

 

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Through the curtains bursts Landon Maddix and it seems we're ready to get the battle royal going! Bounding across the stage, Maddix starts to fire up the fans...while Megan Skye follows out behind her man, both looking rather gold laden tonight.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the nine man battle royal to determine seeding in the inaugural Cold Front Classic. Introducing the participants. First, accompanied to the ring by the new SWF Women's Champion Megan Skye. From Huron, South Dakota...the NEW, three-time SWF Intercontinental Television Champion...LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX!"

 

The crowd cheer as Maddix enters the ring...no sooner has he done so though, "Megalomaniac" is cut and replaced by Mastodon's "Crusher Destroyer". Through the curtains storms Manson, strobes flashing around the Dublin Arena.

 

"From Denver, Colorado...this is MAAAAANSON!!!"

 

Into the ring rolls Manson, glaring across at Maddix as he walks over to a neutral corner. Maddix simply stares right back, trying not to look too intimidated by the admitedly intimidating Manson. Meanwhile, "Tearing Everybody Down" by Anti-Flag hits as red pyro fills the stage. Slowly and smugly, Danny Dagda steps through the curtains to the jeers of the Dubliners in attendance.

 

"Hailing from Newark, New Jersey...DAAAAANNYYYYY DAAAAAGDAAAAA!!!"

 

The grinning Dagda saunters down the aisle, talking smack to some of the fans as he goes. As he does so, off goes his music...to be replaced by "Aerials" by System Of A Down slowly creeping over the P.A system, heralding the arrivals of both Tag Team Champions.

 

"Introducing the SWF World Tag Team Champions! From Oil City, Pennslyvania...DAVID CROSS. And, the NEW SWF Hardcore Gamers Champion...this is CHRRRRRISTIAN FUUUUURRRYYY!!!"

 

Both Tag Champs enter the ring making a field of five ready to go. Wisely Cross and Fury take up the remaining neutral corner and look as united as any two people could be going into a battle royal, discussing the match. Dagda is busy taunting Maddix meanwhile, but Maddix seems indifferent to it all.

 

 

*BOOOOOOOOM!*

 

Suddenly, pyro rocks the Dublin Arena, "Superstar" hits and heralds the arrival of the former ICTV Champion Max King, who stops on the stage and holds open the curtains for the former Women's Champion Kelly Connelly, both with sour looks on their faces.

 

"Accompanied to the ring by Kelly Connelly. From Philidelphia, Pennslyvania...he is "THE ICON"... MAAAAAXXX KIIIIING!"

 

King and Kelly stride to the ring, while the camera gets a good shot of the four ugly scars down the side of Megan Skye's face, caused of cause by Connelly at Ashes To Ashes. Reaching the ring, Kelly starts to throw abuse at Megan while King slides into the ring, eyes locked on Landon Maddix's...and vice versa. What King doesn't see are the eyes of Manson piercing into the back of his head. In the meantime, the lights dim and up starts Fabolous' "Breathe". Green spotlights pan the arena and more pyro erupts from the stage, as the USJL Champion bounds through the curtains.

 

"From 'Hollywood Boulevard'...he is the SWF United States Junior League Champion..."THE URBAN LEGEND" TODD COOORRRTEEZZZZZ!!!"

 

Cortez strides down the aisle, entering the ring and back cautiously into the corner occupied by Landon Maddix...who gives Cortez some space. Now seven men fill the ring. Leaving only two to come.

 

 

 

"WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!"

 

 

 

*KEEE - RAAAAK!*

 

*BOOOOOOOOOM!*

 

"Battle Ready" by Otep blares through the P.A to a torrent of boos from the crowd as out emerge Jet, the Cruiserweight Champ Spike Jenkins...and after a brief pause, the figure of Sacred! The Rev-0 trio begin to make their way down, Spike and Jet chatting away while Sacred is focused entirely on the ring.

 

"And the final two competitors...both accompanied by JET, and both representing Revolution Zero! First...the reigning SWF Cruiserweight Champion...from Hollywood, California, he is "HOLLYWOOD"...SPIIIIIKE JEEENKIIINSSS!!! And, the entrant into the battle royal...the one, and the only...this...is SAAAAACRRREEEEDDD!!!"

 

Boos again fill the air as Spike and Sacred enter the ring, the unlikely allies sticking together and moving towards a corner...Dagda quickly moving out of their way as they do. So now, we have Sacred and Spike in one corner. Maddix and Cortez in the opposite corner. King and Dagda in another corner, with King glaring over at Maddix. Manson looks on from one side of the ring towards King. And meanwhile, the Tag Champions occupy the fourth corner. Nine men in all, all ready to do battle. And three women on the outside, possibly contemplating doing the same.

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

"BUUUUUUUUUUNDLLLEEEEE!!!" screams Riley at the top of his voice...

 

...but the predicted scramble doesn't go as planned, with only Maddix and King charging from their positions and tackling each other to the ground. That's still enough to get the crowd going though, the fight between ICTV Champ and former champ commencing on the mat while the other combatants are slightly more cautious. Spike and Sacred are moving in a pack, both looking daggers at the now un-assisted Todd Cortez, the events of Ashes To Ashes still fresh wounds to Sacred. Meanwhile, Manson has backstepped his way around the Dagda, seemingly trying to form a pact...as the Tag Team Champions watch on and decide to advance. The Maddix/King brawl has now left the ring, both men having rolled under the ropes while still trading punches. Quickly the two of the three refs on the floor, Mr. Soapdish and Mr. Hardcastle, try to pull the two apart...whilst back in the ring, Cortez has been cornered by the Rev-0 duo.

 

"Well, I must say...a surprisingly tactical beginning to this battle royal. And already the competitors are 'pairing' off."

 

"Nobody wants to get thrown out Comet." says Riley, stating the obvious. "Rushing into anything in this battle royal could be especially costly and everyone in that ring knows it."

 

"COR - TEZ! COR - TEZ! COR - TEZ!"

 

As Max and Maddix continue to scrap on the floor, the Dublin crowd see Cortez's upcoming predicament and start to get behind him. Spike is beginning to talk trash as he inches closer to Cortez, who has dropped into a deeper stance than everyone else...eyes dashing from Spike to those of Sacred that are pierced on him. And then suddenly, Cortez springs into action. Getting the first shots in, Cortez nails both of the Rev-0 members with punches, getting the better of them for a few seconds, before the numbers catch up on him and he gets backed into the corner. Spike and Sacred pound away on him, as behind them, the other four men in the battle have also launched into action. Pairing off, Cross goes for Dagda...while Fury unleashes just that on Manson!

 

"And now, all nine men are getting into it! Just how you like it Bobbo!"

 

"Was that a slur then?"

 

"No, I think I spoke quite clearly actually."

 

On the outside, the brawl between King and Maddix is still raging on and making it's way around ringside...uncontrollable by any of the three over-stretched refs. Sacred and Spike meanwhile have Cortez pressed against the bottom turnbuckles, stomping away in unison as Jet yells on encouragement from the outside. Leaving the 'real' action with the other four. Cross and Fury, continuing to brawl away with Dagda and Manson, suddenly both charge forwards and wipe out their opposition with stereo clotheslines. Up first is Dagda, getting caught by the Tag Champs and double clotheslined back down. Manson is up moments later, but he gets grabbed by Cross and nailed with a big forearm...before Fury nails one of his own. The Tag Champs then set up Manson, hooking him for a double suplex. An attempt broken up by Dagda, who nails both Fury and Cross from behind. Quickly Dagda then drags Cross into a corner, choking him up against the buckles. While Manson takes Fury, whipping him into the ropes and catching him coming back with a high knee to the jaw. Fury remains down, as Manson turns his attentions back to Cross and goes over to help Dagda put on the punishment.

 

"COR - TEZ! COR - TEZ! COR - TEZ!"

 

Still, the crowd's focus is on Cortez as the USJL Champion is now being pulled up by Spike and Sacred before being dragged towards the centre of the ring. Sacred quickly hooks on a single chickenwing and pulls Cortez's head back, holding him as Spike winds up the arm. But any plans for a Lariat are cut off, as Landon Maddix suddenly reaches into the ring and trips Spike!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

"Now, that was uncalled for!" chastises Riley.

 

Catching the eye of Sacred, Maddix then smiles up at the newest member of Revolution Zero...only to get jumped from behind by Max King, before getting bundled into the ring. And Sacred wastes little time in storming over and laying in the boots on Maddix...

 

 

...as meanwhile, Dagda and Manson have Cross up as they try to muscle him out over the top. Just as they get the second foot off of the floor though, Christian Fury is over to rake Dagda in the eyes. He then grabs Manson and wrenches him away, helping Cross back onto his feet before the two men charge beside the other, both wiping out Manson with a clothesline! Across the ring, the trio of Sacred, Spike and King are ganging up on Maddix and laying in the stomps. Cortez is up behind them however, bundling into Spike and sending him over the top...

 

 

 

"RAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

...but Spike lands on the apron! And quickly, Cortez is nailed from behind by King...allowing Spike time to roll back in.

 

"That was VERY nearly the first elimination...Citizen Jenkins, JUST surviving." gasps Comet. "And I'm not sure if Toxxic will be happy with that or not."

 

"What makes you say that?"

 

"Well, if Toxxic is still champion by the end of this tournament and Spike win the tournament...that'll mean an all Revolution Zero title match. Likewise, if Sacred wins..."

 

"Comet...Revolution Zero is strong enough not to let championships come between them."

 

"Well, we may find out in a few weeks."

 

Now, it's three on two in one corner...Rev-0 and King stomping, punching, kicking and clawing at Maddix and Cortez. In the meantime, Cross and Fury now have Danny Dagda in their sights. Grabbing his partner by the arm, Cross irish whips Fury with force towards Dagda, watching on as Fury grabs Dagda's head and looks to drive him back with a falling reverse bulldog. Only to get caught in Canadian Backbreaker position! Instantly Dagda squeezes down on Fury's ribcage, while Cross is caught by Manson before he can help his tag partner out. So it's lucky that Sacred has turned away from the battle in the corner, looking at Dagda who doesn't see the dangerous former World Champion striding up behind him.

 

"Comet...get your wallet out."

 

Dagda is busy taunting the Irish crowd now, still blissfully unaware that Sacred is standing behind him. Springing into the air, Sacred connects with a dropkick, hitting Dagda right between the shoulder blades. Dagda stumbles forwards towards the ropes, releasing Fury as he does so, while Sacred crouches down and looks ready to charge. But it's every man for himself in this one, proven by Fury nailing the unsuspecting Sacred with a spinning heel kick!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

 

"Ooh...now, THAT wasn't smart." groans Riley.

 

Sacred is send tumbling across the ring, while Fury encourages Dagda to get back up...beckoning him on with frantic hand motions. Slowly Dagda does stumble around, catching a boot to the gut before getting caught in the 3/4 facelock. Fury quickly drops to his knees, dropping Dagda's jaw over his shoulder before pulling himself up, ready to complete the Thunder and Lightning. But as he gets back up, Sacred charges and bundles into both men, breaking it up.

 

David Cross is in trouble on the opposite side of the ring, Manson having succeeded in draping him across the top rope but having a little bother sending him the rest of the way over.

 

As meanwhile, Sacred is glaring a hole through the back of Christian Fury's head. The dazed Fury is taking a while to get up, using the ropes for assistance, as Sacred waits...and waits...and waits some more, before finally the Hardcore Gamers Champion is up. At which point, Sacred charges and clotheslines Fury up, over...

 

 

 

...and to the floor!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

 

"The first elimination and, therefore, the number 9 seed...CHRISTIAN FURY."

 

"So, that means Christian Fury is one of the two men in this match who will have to win four matches to get a World Title shot, right?" asks Riley.

 

"Indeed Bobbo. It also means you owe me fifty bucks."

 

"...I call quitseys."

 

"You can't call 'quitseys' Robert, we shook hands."

 

"Yeah, but you didn't stamp it."

 

"...what?"

 

"NUH-UH!"

 

With the first man down, the field is now at eight. Understandably Fury looks a little...well, furious...as he realises he's been eliminated and is motioned to the back by referee Soapdish.

 

 

Back in the ring meanwhile, the eight men left are paired off. Manson still has David Cross precariously balanced in one corner. Max King is stomping away on Maddix. Spike continues to choke Todd Cortez, while Sacred's attentions are now focused on Danny Dagda. First to break from the pairings is Spike Jenkins, taunting the crowd as he does so...before turning and seeing the precarious position Cross is in. Obviously, Spike has no love for the man who now holds one of 'his' Tag Team Title belts and charge over, helping Manson to almost tip Cross over the top. Cross is now calling for help, possibly unaware Fury has been ousted. And as King turns his attentions to Cortez, that help seems to be coming from Landon Maddix. Or not, as Maddix assesses the situation...before helping Spike and Manson!

 

"Look at this! Citizen Maddix, assisting Spike and Manson!"

 

"Well, these battle royals make for strange bedfellows sometimes Comet."

 

"You would certainly know all about strange bedfellows partner!"

 

"Oh, Ba-Zing~!"

 

Cross now has three men trying to tip him over the top and all hope looks to be lost for the other half of the Tag Champs...moments away from both elimination and a match with his tag partner! But from somewhere Cross finds the energy to pull one of his hands off of the ropes, using it to slam a fist down across Manson's forehead...and then Spike's. At that point, Maddix wisely vacates the scene, jogging over to the kneeling Max King and raking his eyes, breaking up his chokehold on Cortez. Meanwhile, Spike has given up too and Cross quickly plants his feet safe on the canvas, clubbing Manson across the back of the head quickly.

 

"Citizen Cross survives, for now...and now, it's Sacred who's in danger!"

 

Yes...across the ring, Danny Dagda has Sacred up and hanging over the top rope, much to the horror of Jet. Luckily though, Spike has seen it and runs over to club Dagda with a forearm deep into the kidneys. Dagda quickly drops Sacred as Spike turns him around, whipping Dagda off the ropes. Dagda shoots back, spearing the unready Spike out of his boots!

 

Meanwhile, Cross has stepped away from Manson and now grabs Landon Maddix, spinning him around...AND PRESSING THE ICTV CHAMPION OVER HIS HEAD!

 

 

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"YES!" Riley wails. "DUMP HIM! DUMP HIM NOW!"

 

Cross certainly has the chance as he keeps Maddix pressed high above his head. But he waits too long and over runs Dagda, nailing Cross with a big boot that knocks down both he and Maddix...with Maddix landing on top of Cross! Meanwhile, Dagda is on fire and quickly goes after Sacred, grabbing the SWF legend. Sacred scoots behind however, locking Dagda's arms into a double chickenwing! But here comes Manson, pulling a surpised Sacred off of Dagda and into a german suplex. Manson pulls himself up, but gets goozled by Dagda, ready for some chokeslam action. However, he takes forever over hitting it and Manson manages to boot Dagda between the legs!

 

"OOOOOHHHHHH!"

 

Groaning, Dagda clutches his 'area', while suddenly Landon Maddix is over, catching Dagda in the shoulder with a dropsault that sends Dagda toppling to the side. Being 6'5" does Dagda no favours, as he ends up teetering over the top...with a little shove from Maddix sending him the rest of the way over the top!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

 

Dagda's feet hit the floor, much to his disgruntlement...while Manson wipes out Maddix with an STO takedown!

 

"Eliminated and now, the number 8 seed...DANNY DAGDA."

 

"So, it will be Danny Dagda and Christian Fury in the first match of the first Cold Front Classic!" announces Comet.

 

Manson now pounces on Sacred and stomps away on him as he attempts to get back up, with King and Spike busy stomping away on Cortez across the ring. Meanwhile, David Cross is now getting back up and looking quite dis-orientated as he gets to his feet. Seeing him, King suddenly breaks away from Cortez and creeps up behind the Tag Champion. Cross doesn't see it coming as he reaches for the ropes, while King hooks his arms around one of Cross' legs and teeters him up and over the top, Cross unable to react in time...

 

 

"WOAH!"

 

...as he tumbles to the floor!

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"Eliminated...the number 7 seed...DAVID CROSS."

 

"And just like that, we are down to six!"

 

Clearly pleased with her man's efforts, Kelly Connelly smiles broadly and applauds away for King...right by David Cross who is pointed in the direction of the exit by referee Mark Hebner. But while King is distracted with Kelly, Landon Maddix is up and behind King! Kelly is shocked, warning her man to turn around which he does, into a clothesline from Maddix, sending King over the top...

 

 

 

 

...but King hangs on...

 

 

 

 

...and Spike catches Maddix with a clothesline!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

King takes the opportunity to roll back into the ring as Kelly breathes a sigh of relief, while Spike is now laying in the boots to Maddix. Getting up, King joins in and now Maddix is being double teamed. Behind them, Todd Cortez is up...not being attacked for about the first time in the match, with the crowd cheering him on. Staggering over to where Maddix is currently being stomped into the canvas, Cortez has his fists balled up and ready to take on anyone. Except Sacred, who charges from behind and drives his knee into the kidneys of the USJL Champion! Cortez crumbles to canvas with a groan, as Sacred yells at Spike to help him out. Jenkins looks a little taken a-back at being ordered about...at least, by someone other than Toxxic...but all the same, he breaks away from Maddix and helps to pull up Cortez. Both men hold up the limp body of the USJL Champion as King continues the offense on Maddix. But before Spike and Sacred can do any more, Manson has walked over and pulled Spike away from the action and locked him in a waistlock. Quickly and smartly, Spike drops to a seated position to break the hold...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...only for Manson to nearly snap his back with a vile spinal-tap kick!

 

"Mother of mercy!" squeaks Comet, looking through his fingers.

 

Spike howls in pain and starts to writh on the canvas, as Sacred suddenly charges forward and tries to take Manson's head off with a clothesline. Manson ducks though, stepping to the side as Sacred turns around...and Cortez sprints forward, catching Sacred across the jaw with a running palm strike! Down goes Sacred, but Cortez then turns around and takes a boot to the gut from Manson. On goes a front facelock, before Manson lifts Todd up into suplex position and promptly sits out, bringing Cortez hard chest and face first down into the mat!

 

"And that's the War Ensemble!" Riley shouts.

 

"And, would you look at this Robert!"

 

Comet's excitement comes, as Manson returns to his feet and turns to find his next victim...to be faced by old adversary Max King! You can feel the tension in the air as this unsettled rivalry is ready to re-erupt, with King staring into the eyes of the man who defeated him in Caged Fury at Genesis V. Manson glares right back, not backing down a step. Suddenly, from behind Maddix is up...and despite being dazed, charges at King. He manages to duck though and Maddix sprawls forward into a quick Manson elbow strike, before staggering backwards into an inverted front facelock. Quickly King locks up a leg and lifts Maddix, before dropping him down on his head with the King Buster! Maddix is down. And now, it's back to a Manson/King staredown.

 

"This battle royal has suddenly become Manson and King's match...Manson and King's moment. Their chance to re-ignite a feud that span..."

 

*SMACK!*

 

Suddenly, down goes Manson...courtesy of a Sacred superkick to the back of the head!

 

"...oh, nevermind."

 

Looking a little surprised and a little angry at the same time, King yells at Sacred...asking him what he's thinking of. And Sacred shows him, by smacking King in the face with a forearm. King fires one back straight away. But Sacred shrugs it off and clubs King again. Only for King to nail another forearm himself, before grabbing Sacred and hitting a sternum buster. Away rolls Sacred, as Spike is back up...

 

*SMACK!*

 

"LAST DANCE!"

 

King crumples to the mat leaving only Spike standing, free to go after whoever he wants. And his first choice is the man he is set in line to face for the Intercontinental Television Championship, Landon Maddix. Megan watches on nervously as Spike takes a couple of handfuls of Maddix's hair and pulls him off the canvas, to his knees where he delivers a humiliating slap across the face. With a smile, Spike then holds his arms aloft...before firing off a kick to the chest. And a second, before backing up, ready to offload the kick to the head. But Todd Cortez grabs Spike's leg as it reels back! Spike quickly hops around to face Cortez, instantly getting dragged in towards Cortez and STOed to the canvas. But as soon as Cortez gets back up, over strides Sacred. He grabs Cortez, locking him up into a waistlock. Suddenly though, here comes Manson, spinning Sacred around and hot-shotting him across the top rope! Now Manson and Cortez are standing, Cortez going for a boot to the gut. Manson catches the boot before whipping him around. In mid-spin though, Cortez gains his bearings and hooks Manson with a discus clothesline on the way back around! Staggering back up, Cortez shakes away some of the cobwebs as suddenly he turns around into a lightning quick exploder suplex, by Landon Maddix!

 

"Woah!"

 

"It's every citizen for themself tonight Robert!"

 

Maddix turns, looking down on Cortez with a slight look of sorrow on his face for what he's done...which lasts for all of a second, before he pulls the USJL Champion back up. A forearm rocks Cortez and sends him quivering back towards the ropes. Cortez grabs Maddix around the head quickly though and tries to muscle him out over the top, Maddix doing all he can to reverse it and dump out Cortez. As they grapple on the ropes meanwhile, the other four men in the match are all beginning to get to their feet! Spike, Sacred, King and Manson all stare across the ring and see Cortez and Maddix going at it...putting aside their differences as they begin to move as a pack, towards the two sitting ducks.

 

Until suddenly, King grabs Manson around the head and wheels him around, tossing him over the top before he can even register what's going on and sending him out to the floor!!!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

 

"Eliminated...the number 6 seed...MANSON."

 

Furiously Manson tries to get back into the ring and exact some revenge on King, only to get held back by Hardcastle and Hebner. Sacred and Spike meanwhile don't look impressed with King...as by now, Cortez and Maddix have stopped scrapping and are now looking across the ring. It's three on two now...still hefty odds, but not as bad four on two obviously.

 

"So, we have just five men left in this battle royal." Comet points out. "Manson out-smarted and now, just plain out."

 

"Which leaves poor little Todd and poor little Landon up against three very talented and three very vindictive men! Hey, Todd...where's Mike Van 'Ghost' when you need him?"

 

"Would you give that a rest?"

 

Looking across at each other, Maddix and Cortez exchange a wary look as the challenge ahead begins to dawn on them. King has meanwhile been forgiven and brought temporarily into the Rev-0 fold, the threesome discussing strategy. But suddenly, Maddix and Cortez charge at the three men while they're still unprepared, throwing wild punches and forearms at whichever one of the three they can get to. The numbers are still against them though and eventually Spike manages to duck beneath the punches, catching Cortez with a lowblow that allows Sacred to clothesline the USJL Champion down. Meanwhile, King gets the better of Maddix in their fist-fight and quickly spins him around into the corner. Spike and Sacred now have Cortez grounded and stomp away...

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOO!"

 

...as King chops Maddix...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOO!"

 

...but takes one right back! But Sacred sees King stopped in his tracks and charges at Maddix with a forearm. Yelling at King, Sacred then pulls Maddix out of the corner and steps behind, pushing Maddix forward towards the former ICTV Champion. But the current champion manages to duck a clothesline and push King, into Sacred! Their heads clock and Sacred stumbles backwards, his upper body tipping over the top rope! Maddix rushes over and tries to dump Sacred out, Sacred hanging onto the top rope and turnbuckle for dear life...yelling for Spike's attention.

 

"Citizen Maddix has Sacred up...and he's got him moments away from elimination!"

 

"No way. Sacred's got enough of a grip on the ropes to hang on...and he's got Spike to help him out."

 

As if on cue, Spike finally hears Sacred's cry for help and turns away from Cortez, smacking Maddix in the back of the head with a forearm. Quickly Sacred tumbles over the top, safely hanging onto the ropes and landing on the apron before rolling back in. Spike meanwhile has Maddix hooked around the leg and is now trying to lift him over the top. Cortez is back up behind though and he pulls Spike off of Maddix and back into position for a backdrop suplex. Raising a knee, Spike catches Cortez in the jaw to block that though...and as Cortez staggers away, Spike rushes behind Cortez and takes him down with the Phantom Neckbreaker. In the meantime, Sacred has picked up where Spike left off, hoisting Maddix up across the top rope in an attempt to eliminate the ICTV Champion. King sees the chance to help and begins to stagger over...but from the outside, Kelly starts to yell something at King.

 

"There we go, some advice from Kelly." mutters Riley. "Even in chaos like this, 'The Queen' keeps her head and..."

 

Suddenly, with the advice given, King charges forward. But rather than help Sacred, he lifts out The Sacred One's leg from underneath him and flips him over...

 

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

 

...both Sacred and Maddix teeter, falling over the top...

 

 

 

 

 

...but both hang onto the ropes to save themselves!!! Sacred and Maddix then set about pulling themselves into the ring, while King is watching Spike and Cortez's battle...unaware that now a rather pissed off Sacred is striding up behind King, eyes locked in on him like a radar. Slowly, King turns around and sees Sacred, instantly trying to plead with Sacred for forgiveness. And he's saved, as Maddix suddenly charges and flips over Sacred, taking him down with The Throwback as King just gets out of the way in time. King quickly wipes out Maddix as he gets up with a clothesline.

 

Meanwhile, Spike and Cortez are up, trading right hands back and forth! Cortez is getting the better of the exchange and backing Spike up towards the ropes, before leaving his feet and connecting with a single leg dropkick. Spike careers back into the ropes, his height preventing him from toppling over. But suddenly, Cortez finds a burts of energy and charges, clotheslining Spike...

 

 

 

 

...TO THE FLOOR!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

 

"Eliminated...the number 5 seed...SPI..."

 

 

"WOAH!" Comet suddenly booms, as Cortez gets blind-sighted by King and set crashing to the floor too! "There goes Citizen Cortez too!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"...SPIKE JENKINS. And also eliminated, therefore the number 4 seed...TODD CORTEZ."

 

"Two eliminations in a matter of seconds!" Comet says in surprise.

 

"Well, Cortez got caught playing to the fans. Serves him right."

 

As Cortez lands beside him, the disappointed Spike manages to force a grin down towards the USJL Champ...a grin which earns him a hefty slap, which kicks off another brawl on the outside! Spike and Cortez exchange punches, making their way up the ramp as they go.

 

 

Which leaves Max King, Landon Maddix and Sacred in the ring. King is still preening a possing, happy with getting rid of Cortez...as behind him, Maddix is dragging himself up to his feet. But again, yells from Kelly alert Max to the danger and he turns quickly around, charging and shoulder blocking Maddix HARD off his feet and to the canvas. Megan and Jet both glare over at Kelly, each of the SWF Divas with some representation left in the match...still leaving the chance of some catfighting very prominant. As King now stands tall in the centre of the ring, Sacred is now getting to his feet. King grabs the former World Champion as he reaches a more advanced position, sweeping him over with a textbook vertical suplex. Behind King, the enclosed figure of Landon Maddix walks gingerly up to King, who quickly whips around...and with the deftest of swipes...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOO!"

 

...lashes Maddix with a knifedge chop. Cursing, Maddix suddenly clasps forward with a shaky right hand, hooking onto King's face like a bowling ball...fingers in every hole he can get. One being King's mouth, one his nostril...and Maddix's thumb ends up jammed in King's eyes socket. But luckily for King, Sacred suddenly dives forward and spears Maddix off of King and to the canvas. As thanks, The Sacred One gets a boot to the back of the head from King. King pulls Sacred up quickly and irish whips him across the ring towards the turnbuckles. Seeing the corner getting ever closer by the second, Sacred quickly thrusts his hands up, catching the top rope to halt his momentum and pushes away from the buckles. As he turns around, King charges in and looks to avalanche Sacred up into corner...

 

 

...but he ducks out of the way, causing King to crash face-first into the top turnbuckle! And as he wobbles backwards, Sacred is quick to hook his arms around King's thigh as he tries to lift King over the top.

 

"Sacred has King caught here!" Comet shouts, feeling the RUSH~!

 

"Yeah, but Sacred isn't strong enough to eliminate King on his own!"

 

It seems Bobby Riley is right on the money as King hooks his arms around the middle rope and goes dead-weight, making himself as heavy as humanly possible. Still Kelly doesn't look very confident though, looking on nervously as her man is now being inched further and further over the top by knee raised into the ribs by Sacred. Maddix has now reached his feet and waddles gingerly over to the scene of the action and pulls Sacred off of King, spiking the legendary figure head-first into the canvas with a quick and dirty DDT! Sacred remains down clutching his cranium, as now Maddix is trying to scoop King over the top himself.

 

"What in the hell sort of a move was that?" sneers Riley. "If Sacred couldn't eliminate King on his own, what makes Maddix think he can?"

 

"Well, Ashes To Ashes..."

 

"That wasn't a battle royal, dingbat."

 

Putting his back into the cause, Maddix starts to try and gain traction and push forwards as he is now in underneath King...who is looking slightly precarious on his perch. King can now see the floor hovering beneath him and panic begins to set in, as it seems he's going s l o w l y over. So he fires back an elbow. Luckily for him, King catches Maddix square in the forehead with the elbow and causes Maddix to stumble back, howling more than you'd expect from a simple elbow strike. Quickly King lands on the safety of the canvas as Sacred suddenly finds a burst of energy and sprints across the ring towards King. But King catches him coming in a front waistlock and, before Sacred can summon a counter, King snaps his hips and hurls Sacred carelessly over his head...

 

 

 

*SMAAACK!*

 

...AND STRAIGHT TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR WITH AN OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY!!!

 

 

"JESUS H!" wails Comet, cringing as Sacred's body splatters off the thinly padded mats and he wails in pain on impact, while Jet over-dramatically flails her arms in the air in both shock and frustration.

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

 

"Eliminated...he is the number 3 seed...SACRED."

 

 

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

 

The Dubliners in attendance make their feelings perfectly clear as the referees around ringside look rightfully concerned for Sacred's well-being. But despite being shaken-up, Sacred doesn't seem to be seriously hurt. All the same, Hardcastle and Hebner help Jet to attend to The Sacred One.

 

 

Back in the ring meanwhile, the battle royal has come down to the final two. Who just happen to be the Ashes To Ashes opponents, Max King and Landon Maddix...the latter of the two busted wide open from the forehead, the stitches in his head rendered useless now as they've been torn apart. Seeing the blood beginning to trickle down his opponent's head for the second time in the space of a week, King smiles from ear to ear...

 

"MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!"

 

...until Dublin, Ireland begins to get vocally behind the ICTV Champion. As Sacred is now up on the outside and being helped to limp and stagger his way up the ramp, supported by Jet and referee Hardcastle, King moves in on Maddix. Despite the blood loss already making his movements a little shaky, Maddix manages to duck under the lunging arms of 'The Superior Talent' and hook on a weak waistlock. King quickly prises his hands in between Maddix's arms and breaks the waistlock, before nailing another back elbow. The claret is beginning to flow now, as King grabs a handful of tights and another of hair, charging across the ring and hurling Maddix over the top...

 

 

 

 

...but Maddix hooks the top rope on the way over, saving his skin and chances at top seeding.

 

"As powerful as Max King is, Citizen Maddix is agile...which could help him here."

 

"Yeah, until Max presses his puny ass clear over the ropes."

 

Seeing Maddix safely on the apron, King puts any plans for celebration on hold and charges across the ring as he looks to club 'La Cucaracha' into elimination. Maddix catches Max coming though, leaning over the ropes and forearming King in the jaw. Away staggers King, as Maddix puts a hand to his head. Blood now staines Maddix's palm and he looks slightly shocked, but soon shakes that off and springboards up to the top rope...and then, off and onto King's shoulders for a Hurri-Lanrana. But King has learnt from A2A, blocking the move and powerbombing Maddix straight south!! Megan cringes as her man's spine convulses and spasms all in one, bringing another grin to King's face. A grin that doesn't last long, as King mounts Maddix and cups his head under an arm...

 

 

"YOU STOLE MY TITLE!"

 

*DOOOSH!*

 

 

"IT'S MY TITLE!"

 

*DOOOSH!*

 

 

"YOU'RE NOTHING!"

 

*DOOOSH!*

 

 

"MY TITLE!"

 

*DOOOSH!*

*DOOOSH!*

*DOOOSH!*

*DOOOSH!*

*DOOOSH!*

 

As King puts added emphasis (and sound effect) into the punches, Megan can only watch on through the gaps between her fingers. Blood now covers King's knuckles now as he finally stands up. King turns his head around the ring, looking for the nearest camera to display his 'war paint', while Maddix is pulling himself up desperately, hand over hand on the ropes. Turning back around, King walks over and irish whips Maddix across the ring. He bounces back, suddenly finding the energy to nail a flying forearm. Away staggers King, tumbling backwards and into the ropes...

 

 

 

...and he teeters over the top...

 

 

 

 

 

...but a helpful push from Kelly Connelly helps him back in!!!

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"Oh, come on referees!" snaps Comet. "Do your jobs."

 

"Hey, lay off them. If I were on their pay, I'd do a half-assed job too."

 

"As opposed to..."

 

Scowling at the abuse she's recieving from referee Soapdish, Kelly starts to mock the 'lowly' referee with taunts and jibes. While behind her, here comes the SWF Women's Champion. A tap on the shoulder. And another. What else can Kelly do BUT turn around...

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

...and nails Kelly upside the head with the Women's Title!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

 

"Paybacks are a witch!" Comet exclaims.

 

"Megan Skye is a witch!" Riley snaps back.

 

Looking on in horror, King points an accussing finger down at Megan who is busy pointing out her scratch scars on her cheek to the unconscious 'Queen'. But as he does, Maddix has found some more energy in the ol' reserves and charges up behind King, who is totally unaware of what's happening as he finds himself going up, over the top...

 

 

 

"NOOOOOOO!"

 

 

 

...AND TO THE FLOOR!

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

 

"The number 2 seed, as the final man eliminated...MAX KING. Therefore the winner of the Cold Front Classic Seeding Battle Royal and the number ONE seed...LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MAAAADDIIIIXXX!!!"

 

Collapsing backwards, Maddix clenches his fists to his blood covered forehead in his delight...as Megan rolls into the ring, escaping the grasp of the furious Max King as she does so and wrapping an arm around Maddix. Meanwhile, Max is up and trying to get back into the ring, but being held back by the three referees.

 

"What a week for Landon Maddix!" yells Comet over the cheering Dubliners. "First his manager wins the Women's Title, then he becomes the three-time Intercontinental Television Champion...and now, Landon Maddix is the number one seed in the Cold Front Classic!"

 

"Bah."

 

"And what a bad week for King and Kelly. They lose both their titles and now, Max is the number two seed. So close yet so far for him."

 

"Oh yeah, rub it in why dontcha!"

 

Megan gives Maddix a helping hand up to his feet as the ICTV Championship belt has found it's way into the ring, quickly getting scooped up by Megan and placed over Maddix's shoulder. Despite the claret still trickling down his face, Maddix manages a smile as he looks at King who is being restrained by the referees, Kelly Connelly unceremoniously hanging unconscious over his shoulder as King wails obscenities at Maddix. Maddix mumbles something about preferring the 'belt' over his shoulder than a 'bint', before raising a weary arm in the air to salute his victory.

 

"So, Maddix is the number one seed...but that doesn't guarantee him the shot at the belt." Riley says defensively. "He's still got a long way to do."

 

"Indeed. The Cold Front Classic itself starts next week, but for now...Landon Maddix is top of the pile!"

 

 

FADE OUT

 

 

Copyright SWF 2004

"Straight Outta Smark Avenue."