HD: Rodez Promo

[King Cucaracha 0]

Backstage we go and Josh Matthews is backstage, standing by with one half of the World Tag Team Champions, Leon Rodez.

MATTHEWS
Whassup! Josh Matthews, back here with Leon Rodez and tonight, I...*goes into convulsions*...[i]heeeeeeuuuuuurrrrrrrr[/i]...HELLO RANDY! I'LL SEE YOU AT ARMAGEDD...*AHEM!* *HEM!* *ACH-TU!* Sorry about that. Must be that flu bug going around.

Rodez glances at Josh with a nervous smile and nod.

MATTHEWS
Leon, I see that you're not in the best of shape this week, but thanks for your time. We all saw the reprehensible events that went down on the Love Shack last week, courtesy of Jim Cornette and the New, New Midnight Express. How are you feeling after what happened.

RODEZ
Reprehensiwhat? Have you been talking to Christian Wright? You know Josh, believe it or not, I'm not feeling all that great. The ribtape kinda gives it away somewhat. Besides the bruised ribs and the scars on my upper back from where the doctors had to pluck the shards of glass out of my body with tweezers, mentally, I'm not too good either. See Jim Cornette, what you and your boys did went beyond goading me and Zack into a Tag Team Title match. We all know what you're capable of. I knew what you were capable of. But, I was naive. And I didn't see it coming. I honestly didn't expect you, Ned Blanchard, to have the audacity to do what you did. To use a picture of my own girlfriend as a weapon against me. Irony or just plain disrespect, I can't figure out which it was. To lay me out and let Jim Cornette smash me in the back, repeatedly, with that tennis racket of his. For you to then suplex me on the damn floor and then for you, Simon Singleton, to climb onto my desk, on my show, my set and hit me with the Rocket Launcher. I didn't see it coming.

Sighing, Rodez wipes a hand across his forehead.

RODEZ
But next time, I will. See, now I know firsthand what you're capable of, I'm going to be extra wary. I'm also going to have Zack Malibu by my side. Oh yeah, sure, you got what you wanted. A shot at the Tag Team Titles at Climax. Well, congratulations. Now, you're faced with the problem of what you plan to do when you're faced with even odds, face to face, man to man. There won't be momentos from my girlfriend lying around. You won't be on my set. You'll be in the ring. Now, there's a saying..."Payback's are a bitch". You know me Josh, I'm a nice guy...

MATTHEWS
No doubt.

RODEZ
Leon Rodez isn't going to come out, all guns blazing, trying to tear the heads from your shoulders. But, you know that. You're a smart guy Cornette. That's why you and your boys targetted me instead of Zack Malibu, because you knew that if you got on his bad side, you'd live to regret it. Me? I'm a nice guy. I'm not going to be out for blood. I'm not like Krista. I'm not like Synth. That's true. But if you think I'm going to let what you did to me go unpunished, you're sorely mistaken. As you can probably tell, you've made this a serious issue. I'm not cracking jokes here. You have my attention. And Midnights...I won't be out for your blood. But you will suffer. You will suffer, the best way I know how. And that's to make sure you remain the FORMER World Tag Team Champions. You will be embarrassed. You will be beaten. And you will rue the day you considered me an easy target.

MATTHEWS
Well, on to tonight. Rib injury and all, you must team up with Zack and fellow partner Peter Knight for the 6-Man Tag Team Title Tournament Semi Finals. The question is, how focused can you be on that, knowing that you and Zack already have a match scheduled for Climax, regardless of possible progression to the Final.

RODEZ
Now now, let's not stir things up here, J Man. Me and Zack have eyes only for tonight.

MATTHEWS
And, what about the rumours that your two partners aren't getting along too wel...

RODEZ
Listen, Josh, relax. Okay? There's no problems between us. You'll see that well enough tonight. Any other questions?

MATTHEWS
Yes, one...

RODEZ
Is it about Peter Knight?

MATTHEWS
No.

RODEZ
Zack?

MATTHEWS
No.

RODEZ
My ribs?

MATTHEWS
No.

RODEZ
...good. Go ahead.

MATTHEWS
What kind of underwear does Alix wear? Like, is she a thong girl? Coz I always thought sh...

Shaking his head in despair, Rodez doesn't even wait for Josh to finish before beginning to walk off set. Leaving poor Josh's wildest fantasies inaccurate.