Mystery Eskimo 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2006 (edited) Cue: "Calling Dr Love" The white coated figures of Dr Max Anderson and Dr Steven Pigley jump out on to the stage, grooving to the sounds of Kiss as the HeldDown crowd gives them a warm welcome back. *DING DING* BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall! Approaching the ring, from Chicago, Illinois, total combined weight 465lbs, they are the Surgeons of Soul, the HIYAH International Tag Team Champions of the World - the LURRRRRRRVE DOC-TORS! Max and Steve stop dancing and sprint down to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope and then stripping off their coats to reveal matching red tights and their HIYAH title belts. BUFFER Their opponents, already in the ring, at a total combined weight of 540lbs - Alexander Del Ray and BIFF! Del Ray, a handsome 200lb cruiser of Italian descent, holds his chin up arrogantly, while the 340lbs of mixed muscle and fat that is BIFF jumps up and down with excitement. COLE Well, here we go with the return of the Docs, back to warm up for their Anderson Cup match against Team Heyross. They've been working extensively in Japan, both defending those HIYAH titles on what has become a very long and successful reign, and also working with Japanese doctors on various exciting projects. CABOOSE Such as? COLE Penis enlargement. They actually used the Doc's own DNA to base the treatment on. I have brochures! CABOOSE Don't be fooled, Mikey. They put bananas in those tights. COLE Full of fruity goodness. COACH If you've quite finished? It's good to have the Docs back, if only so we can all see what a tag team should never, ever look like. Look at the long hair and the pretty boy good looks! It's pathetic! COLE Just for that, no penis brochure for you. It's going to be Dr Max and Alexander Del Ray to start this non-title match. Veteran official Clem Buzzlefoxer beckons them to get it on...and then falls flat on his back, clutching his chest! COLE Oh my God! Referee Buzzlefoxer is in trouble! CABOOSE He is 92, you know. Dr Max springs into action, loosening Clem's zebra shirt and checking his pulse. Nobly, Max begins mouth to mouth, while Dr Pigley vaults in to administer some CPR. COACH Ew...Anderson is kissing a man. An old man. That's disgusting. COLE He's saving his life! COACH Hey, the Coach does that every single day. Just his presence on this Earth stops millions from killing themselves in anguish over their hopeless, Coach-less lives. Del Ray looks as disgusted as Coach sounds, and turns his back on proceedings. BIFF is chewing the top rope with a thoughtful look on his bowling ball head. The crowd gets behind Clem: "PLEASE DON'T DIE! PLEASE DON'T DIE!" "LET'S GO HEART! LET'S GO HEART!" But there's no response from the fallen referee. Max and Steve look at each other. There's clearly only one thing left to try. The Docs leap to their feet. Max Anderson yells at a ringside official...and their theme music comes back! The Docs bust out the dance moves, twisting and bending and whipping the female portion of the audience into a frenzy. COACH What the hell is this? I heard of dancing on someone's grave (I'm gonna tap dance you good, Cole) but this is ridiculous! The Docs finally stop, hold up a open hand each, and plunge their palms onto Clem's chest! He convulses, shakes - and sits up! COLE Wow! The Docs harnessed the power of their sex appeal as a defibrillator to restart Clem's heart! COACH That's the most stupid thing I ever heard. Nevertheless, Clem is getting to his feet. He's ok! "I'm ok!" Clem proclaims in his gravely voice, "Let's get it on!" Del Ray and BIFF jump the Docs from behind, knocking them to the mat and stomping a mud hole. COLE I wonder if Clem had a near death experience? CABOOSE It feels like I'm having one right now... Clem has recovered enough to get BIFF out of the ring. Del Ray brings Max up and rocks him with a hard forearm as Pigley rolls out. Del Ray with the whip to the ropes and a dropkick to the jaw of Dr Anderson as he bounces back. Del Ray poses, arms outstretched, to the displeasure of the crowd. Del Ray brings Anderson up and whips him to the ropes once more, ducking down for a back drop, but Max rolls over his back and lands behind him. Dr Anderson with a hard kick to the back of Del Ray, and then spins him around, grabs his head - Anaesthetiser !(X factor) Anderson tags Dr Steve, who climbs to the top rope. As Del Ray picks himself up, Pigley leaps off, clamping his legs around Del Ray's head and spinning him around with a hurricanrana! Del Ray staggers to his feet and charges wildly at Pigley, who greets him with a Japanese arm drag. Pigley grabs Del Ray by the neck, but Del Ray pulls him down throat first onto the middle rope, and tags his partner. COLE The Love Docs fighting back strong after being jumped to start. COACH But look, here's a real wrestler. Big, ugly, and mean. BIFF is in the ring, and picks Pigley up - body slam. Again - body slam. BIFF runs the ropes - big fat splash! ONE! TWO! Kick out! BIFF with a third body slam, and then a falling head BUTT. The big man brings Pigley up and lifts him into a Gorilla press! But Dr Max dashes in and dropkicks BIFF in the chest. Pigley drops onto his shoulders, and BIFF staggers into a corner, enabling Pigley to get his feet onto the ropes - tornado DDT! Standing Star Press from Pigley! ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Del Ray breaks it up! Max comes back and catches Del Ray with a trio of chops, followed by hoisting him up onto his shoulders. Pigley steps to the apron, and then vaults onto the middle of the top rope, leaping up and grabbing Del Ray's head, before driving it down in the mat as Anderson drops back! COLE Springboard Doomsday Ace Crusher! COACH That's a dangerous move. Didn't these guys take the Hippocratic oath? COLE No, YOU'RE a hippocrat! Anderson kicks Del Ray out of the ring as the Docs turn back to BIFF. Referee Clem is a little lenient on the five second rule here, but he does owe the Docs his life, however much of it is left, at least. BIFF staggers up only to eat a double super kick to the jaw! He flops back to the mat like a beached whale, as Anderson heads up top to hit Shock Therapy! (450 Splash) Pigley with the cover: ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* Cue: "Calling Dr Love" The Docs celebrate in their usual grooving manner, even inviting Clem to join them in a few careful moves. COLE A good win for the Love Doctors going into the Anderson Cup. They're not one of the favourites, it has to be said, but I think they have an outside shot. COACH No way. The Anderson Cup has some of the best tag teams in the world. Beating unknown Japanese teams and jobbers like these is no way to prepare for it. The Docs are still celebrating when the members of Team Heyross themselves hit the ring! Benjamin and Moss attack with vicious intent; Moss grabbing Max and actually hurling him out over the top to the floor with a belly to belly throw! Quentin has one of the HIYAH title belts and gives Dr Pigley the Orange Crush onto the metal plate! The Bruisers get in a few more kicks and punches before departing, looking pleased with themselves. COLE A heinous assault from Team Heyross! They've just struck an early blow before their Anderson Cup match, roughing up the Docs. COACH Great tactics. Not only deliver some physical injury, but make your opponents scared of you. CABOOSE Jonny, no ones been scared of you in your life. Apart from Crystal, during your catchphrase period. COACH I can't believe I had to say that crap... COLE I have a feeling that Team Heyross may have just done something they'll regret! Either way, its going to be a huge match! Edited January 5, 2006 by Mystery Eskimo Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2006 Eski, the Docs are facing (and losing to) Team Heyross in the first round, not the Sooners. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery Eskimo 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2006 Oops. Edit time...thanks for the heads up! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
