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Failed Bridge

PROMO: Jumped Ship

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*The magical SWF video-feed takes us inside a music store. Panning past the local youth looking to snatch up the new CD from recently admitted drug abuser and eating disorder starlet Lindsay Lohan, we see a large man standing by the small "Albums section" sifting through old REO Speedwagon records. Recieving that feeling of being watched, the large man turns around, gives off a grungey smile, and removes his shades.

 

Today's music is alot like today's wrestling. Fans are programmed to react to the flashy stuff rather than the real substance. Promoters repeatedly shove the flavor of the month out while forgetting about the kinds of guys that got them their in the first place. Talentless hacks like Kelly Clarkson & Todd Cortez grab the spotlight due to their look while the real acts like Meatloaf and myself are shoved to the back and forgotten. Well The Dude started to kill that trend at his last stop.

 

You see, I cut through that minor league promotion to the south like a hot knife through butter. I beat the best of the best and they still shined that spotlight down on a gothic aussie crybaby that couldn't successfully carry The Dude's jock, let alone a world title. Well, The Dude's left that bumpkin promotion for the big time and its time to top the charts of the SWF. So Insane Luchador, Jay Hawke, Ejiro Fasaki, and the rest of the SWF locker room get ready, cause The Dude has arrived and you're all just the next stop on this Magical Mystery Tour of Funk...oh, Have Mercy!

 

*The Dude places his shades back on and walks out of frame while the camera zooms in on the records and one in particular; AC/DC's Highway to Hell*

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As long as it ends with Jerry Lawler giving someone a piledriver, it's all good.

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