King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2006 MATTHEWS I'm backstage with Leon Rodez...who, obviously isn't in the best of moods after what happened last week. We're going to save you the anguish of having to watch what happened back but if we can, we'd like to get some comments. RODEZ You know...usually, I'd give you some sort of amusing intro...some sort of comedic speil that makes you go 'wow, that multi Angle Award winning Tag Team Champion Leon Rodez sure is funny'. Usually. Tonight though, what I'm going to do is talk directly to some people who've wronged me. Infact, not just wronged me...but wronged my family. The New, New Midnight Express. Ned Blanchard, the other guy. I saw what you two did. I've watched the tapes back and I've seen the suffering and humiliation you put my poor, defenceless little sister through. And guess what...you did your job. You got me angry. You got me pissed off. GRRRRRRR!! LEON ANGRY! LEON SMASH!! GRRRR!! Standing up, Leon tears off his shirt like some sort of meterosexual Bruce Banner, attempting to tip a nearby anvil case over but failing miserably. It's clear that Rodez is uber angry now, breathing heavily as he begins to... ...laugh? RODEZ Pysch! Haha, you didn't really expect it to work now, did you Jimmy? Oh what, you expect me to go nuts and storm right into a three on one sneak attack. Or, maybe you just expected me to be so damned pissed off that I'd stupidly get myself disqualified at AnglePalooza, so angry that I'd give you an easy passage to the World Tag Team Titles. You boys must not have done your homework. I don't DO angry. I do, however, DO revenge. We'll come to that in a minute though. See, being the award winner talk show host slash roving reporter that I am, I didn't want to wait until tonight to get comments from The New, New Midnight Express. Dang it, I wanted ANSWERS! So I sent a good friend of mine to find 'Neddy' and Simon and get some words from them. I assume we have the video ready? MATTHEWS Ughm... RODEZ Ughm? You mean 'uhm', right? Damn your chubby, extra key pressing fingers! ***STARWIPE~!*** ...to a room that's completely white. Possibly because it's a recording set and not actually a room, who knows. The room is also virtually empty. All that stand within it is one table and two chairs. And all that sit within it, are a very oddly dressed Alix Maria Spezia and Leon Rodez. For some reason, they both have matching spangly jackets and Alix has a wig that makes her look as if she's just jammed her finger into the mains...you know, again. LEON (DRESSED AS NED BLANCHARD~!) More lemonade? ALIX (DRESSED AS SIMON SINGLETON~!) Please. 'Ned' pours 'Simon' some more lemonade. LEON (DRESSED AS NED BLANCHARD~!) Mmm, this really hits the spot. ALIX (DRESSED AS SIMON SINGLETON~!) Doesn't it though? LEON (DRESSED AS NED BLANCHARD~!) You make really good lemonade, Sultan of Sarcasm ALIX (DRESSED AS SIMON SINGLETON~!) Why thank you Handsome Hustler. -FADE OUT- ***STARWIPE~!*** RODEZ Disturbing footage, I'm sure you'll agree. MATTHEWS *titters* RODEZ What kind of a grown man 'titters'? Laugh like a man, poofpants. Matthews hangs his head. RODEZ Well, that was pretty cryptic stuff from The Midnights. I personally don't know what type of bearing that has on AnglePalooza, unless we have some sort of Lemonade Match. Quite what that would entail, I have no earthly idea, but how about we bring someone in here to analysis what they said. That kinda stuff goes down well on FOX News after all. Allow me to introduce my guest at this time, an Expert Psycho Analy - 'Sis...see what I did there? MATTHEWS Uhm... RODEZ Ms Jade Rodez everyone! On walks Jade LEON Now, Ms Rodez, in your expert opinion...would you say that what we just saw would indicate The New, New Midnight Express has maybe become 'too close'. In a John Cena, ha I'm going to kill your heat j0bber, kinda way? JADE Yes. Yes I would. LEON And would you say that the actions of Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton towards your good self last week were the actions of two, very desperate men. Two men who know that they are the underdogs going into AnglePalooza. Two men who don't think that they can beat Leon Rodez and Zack Malibu for the Tag Team Titles by fair means, so are instead using their manager's suspect 'brain power' to try and gain every cheap advantage that they can in the mere hope that they stand a chance of becoming 3 Time World Tag Team Champions. Two men who we already beat last month. Two men who had to resort to the cheapest tactics in Lethal Rumble history to even get this title shot! JADE What was the question again? LEON Just say yes. JADE Yes. LEON (whispering to Josh) [i]She's a Pro.[/i] SO, New, New Midnight Express, the question is what do you do now? We beat you last month. Your attempt to make me lose my mind flopped like Paris Hilton's music career is so destined to do. And now, you're right back at square one. Don't be fooled into thinking I've forgotten or forgiven the way you two son of bitches treated my sister last week...there will be fallout, I can guarantee you that. But as far a... ???~! What the hell is this!?! Stopped in his tracks, Leon looks around in confusion as ZACK MALIBU storms into camera shot! MALIBU What are you doing!?! LEON I was just talking a little smizack on the New, New Mi... MALIBU For God's sake... LEON What? MALIBU Are you really this fucking dumb, or has hanging around with Alix given you some bad habits!?! Sensing that his partner is in far from a good mood, Leon motions to his sister to run along. MALIBU Do you not realise what's going on around here? Open your damn eyes, Leon! Did you not SEE what happened to me last week, or did you just not care!?! LEON Incase you forgot, you weren't the only one who got jumped by The Upstarts last week... MALIBU So, you DO remember!?! Peter Knight...fucking Peter Knight and Axel beat me down in the middle of that ring and they did exactly what the rest of The Upstarts did the week before...they pissed all over the OAOAST!! And here you are, talking about The New, New Midnight Express!?! FUCK The Midnight Express!! They don't matter anymore!! LEON Zack, we've gotta defend our titles against them at AnglePa... MALIBU Perhaps you didn't hear me...FUCK! The New, New Midnight Express!! You've got loyalties to concern yourself with now! We accepted you in on merit! We expected you to be on our side when push came to shove! Well, guess what...they've just pushed us over the god-damn edge!!! They want a war? They're gonna GET a war...and if it's gonna be a war, I'm gonna need some troops. I need back-up. Back-up I can rely on. So, are you on our side? Or are you too busy playing Comedy Central with Blanchard and Singleton to fight the fight you promised me you were loyal to! LEON You need to calm down. MALIBU Oh, what, I need to 'mellow out'? Do I need to 'chill'? Damnit Leon, maybe you need to think about whether you want a job or not! Because if these Upstarts SOBs take over and take over for good, you might not be employed much longer. You think they'll forgive you for turning them down, joining up with me? Think again. Leon sighs, running a hand through his hair. MALIBU I suggest you think about where your priorities lie. You don't DO angry? Then I suggest you learn. And do it soon... And with that, Zack storms off, leaving Rodez to watch on with folded arms. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
