Axel Promo

[Adam 0]

COLE
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to HeldDown!  I’m Michael Cole, and alongside me, as always, are The Coach…

COACH
I love it when a plan comes together!

COLE
…and former OAOAST Champion, Caboose.

CABOOSE
Michael, if he decides that tonight is a good night to test my patience, he’s going to find out how a size thirteen feels lodged in his clacker.

COLE
Plenty to get to tonight, folks!  Another night of Anderson Cup matches, we’ll see the women’s division in action, and we may even hear from Leon Rodez regarding the despicable acts committed by Narcissistic Ned last week!  All that and more tonigh..

Just as Michael Cole is finishing his spiel about tonight’s content, he is cut off by the unmistakable drum beat of Millionaires’ “I’m on a High”.  The crowd pops, if only because it’s the first big action of the night, and not necessarily because they like the guy that is about to come out.  The guitars start, and instead of the General Manager’s presence, we get Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, followed closely by Bohemoth, Jamie O’Hara and Christian Wright.

COACH
A party with all my boys!

CABOOSE
You are so gay its unbelievable.

The five stand along the ramp, making a pathway for their new leader, their mastermind.  The music builds, before peaking…


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

…and setting off a pyro blast!  Through the smoke comes a figure, decked out in a very, very expensive blood red shirt and black jeans.

BUFFER
Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome the General Manager of HeldDown…. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

Quite the mixed crowd reaction for the GM, with a percentage of the crowd still cheering the former OAOAST Champion.  Axel makes his way through the guard of the Upstarts, walking up the ring steps and stepping through the ropes, and into the ring.

COLE
I’m very interested in what we are about to hear guys.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing last week, and I’m having a hard time believing what I see in the ring.  The Upstarts, led by Axel.

COACH
You sound upset Mikey, you shouldn’t be that surprised.  I always said we’d rule this company, the Upstarts, and I was right!

Axel’s music dies down, and he is given a microphone by Michael Buffer, because HE’S THE BOSS, DAMMIT!

The General Manager brings the microphone to his lips, but only receives loud jeers for his efforts to address the crowd.

AXEL
Hey, go for it!  Chant away!  Boo away!  The more time you take to shut up, the less time you get to see the OAOAST Superstars… MY OAOAST Superstars, perform!  So go ahead!  I don’t want any injuries to my guys, you keep booing and my boys in the ring here can have a night off!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Axel just stands, waiting for the boos to die down.  The crowd gets impatient, and they eventually subside.

AXEL
Much better.  I’m guessing you all came here tonight, and all of you out there in TV land tuned in this evening to hear an explanation.  Well, it your lucky night boys and girls, because an explanation, you are going to get.  The thing is, I’m not going to be telling you anything you don’t already know.  You see, when I started in this company two and a half years ago, I was held down, just like every guy in this ring has been held down. I couldn’t work, I didn’t have a defined character, all these excuses were given to me.  But I knew what the real problem was, just like these men know what the problem is right now.  They don’t get a chance.  And why?  Because the inmates have been running the asylum.  OAOAST Management DOESN’T. DO. SHIT.  All you fans hear about is “OAOAST Management this” and “OAOAST Management that”.  Its not OAOAST Management that decides to give Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez a tag title shot when they haven’t teamed before, its not OAOAST Management that decides that it’d be a fun idea to put Stephen freaking Joseph in a title match, its not OAOAST Management that decides who should carry this company, its Zack Malibu.  It’s Tony Brannigan.  It’s Dan Black.  Because what they want, they get.  They’re the Originals!  They draw fans!  BULLSHIT!  Zack, Tony and everyone else knows who made this company the most money.  It wasn’t them.  It was us.  It was me, it was Drek, and it was Hoff.  You fans know it as well as I do, and if you can’t see it, if you keep cheering those Originals, then you’re just as hypocritical as they are.

Axel paces, walking over to the GPX as he continues.

AXEL
Scotty, Johnny, you know the story.  Drek came to you months ago with a plan.  He said we should join together and make sure that the old hacks don’t have the influence anymore.  It shouldn’t be up to them.  Their time has come and passed, they’re in the twilight of their careers.  We aren’t.  We’re only just beginning.  So you two joined with Drek, and you helped me out against Tony Brannigan.  Yes boys and girls, of course I knew what was going on when I won my second OAOAST Championship, you think I’d actually not know that these guys were going to give me a hand?  It was already three on one, I just evened up the odds.  And it worked.  Our first decisive victory.  We beat the Originals.  We had the gold.  Scotty and Johnny, you two were flying high after that, the fans started to catch on – you were the next Main Event stars of this company.  And we were all set to go into battle.  Drek was ready to get rid of Malibu, and Hoff and I were ready to draw one of the biggest buyrates in OAOAST Pay Per View history!  We were on top of the world!

Axel pauses, rubbing his forehead as if he’d just gotten a huge headache.

AXEL
But then, it all came crashing down around us.  The Originals flexed their political muscle.  Hoff, Drek and I all had expiring contracts.  Zack, Tony and Dan, among others, used their influence, and the OAOAST offered us less money.  A LOT less.  Fewer appearances, less money, less everything.  Zack was trying to shut us down.  I’ll give the old guy credit; he knew where we were going.  He knew how much of a threat we were.  So, he did everything in his power to get us ejected from the business.  And it worked.  For a time, it worked.  Drek and Hoff left pretty much at the same time.  I went off to fight in Japan.  We had no influence anymore; the OAOAST thought they could cope without us.  They were wrong.  With the three top stars gone, ratings and buyrates plummeted.  Attendance was down.  So, I got a call.  They knew I was most likely to come back, because I didn’t screw anyone over by leaving.  Except the fans, of course, but hey, buy the DVDs, I’m on all of those.  I told the company that I wouldn’t come back unless I dealt with upper management only, and that my contract would need to be negotiated on my terms.  You know the rest.  I came back, saw the sham that the Upstarts had become, and decided to fix it once and for all.  But I needed someone else.  I needed someone that was on my wavelength.  Someone that I knew could carry this company the way I did a year ago.  I’d like to bring him out now actually.  So boys and girls, stand up, clap, stamp your feet, cheer, scream, do whatever it is you retards in Indianapolis do…

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

AXEL
… and welcome, the REIGNING One and Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOORRRRLLLDDD.. PETER KNIGHT!

“Oh Hell Yeah” starts up, and the fans are greeted to the presence of the OAOAST Champion.  PK appears at the top of the ramp, belt glistening over his shoulder, and saunters down toward the ring.

COLE
I-I just can’t speak right now.  The words that are coming out of Axel’s mouth are just, just incredible!

COACH
He’s not telling you anything that you didn’t already know Michael, you knew how much influence Zack and Black T had in the back, and you knew the politics behind Drek and Hoff leaving!  He’s just being honest with these people, and if they don’t like it, that’s their problem.

PK steps into the ring and is greeted by an Axel handshake.  The champ holds his title up for the crowd to see, as the other Upstarts in the ring applaud their new crown jewel.

AXEL
The man standing before you right now is not only the future of this company, but the present as well.  He is the man that is going to be carrying this place into its most successful year yet.  Peter, when I came to you two months ago with a plan, you thought about it, and you made a choice.  The right choice.  You made the choice to be the OAOAST Champion, to be The MAN in this business.  So often you had been overshadowed by the so called Originals.  But not anymore.  The same goes for everyone in this ring.  You’re the stars now.  Peter, you’re the champion.  You’re a bona-fide Main Event player.  Scotty, Johnny, you’re the best young tag team in this company.  Bo, you’re a big man that people fear.  Jamie, Christian, you two are the main eventers of the future.  But, and this goes for all of you except PK.  Show me something.  In the last two months, you’ve shown me nothing.  This week, you get the night off.  Next week though, you’d better make damn sure that you show me some fire.  I want to see Bohemoth DESTROY someone.  I want to see the Global Party Exchange reclaim their moniker as the greatest tag team in the OAOAST.  Because if I don’t, well, maybe you aren’t the future stars I positioned you to be.  Show me something.  Follow Peter’s lead.  Show Malibu, show Black T, show all of these people why you are the next generation of superstars.

The GPX look at each other with a smile and a look of determination on their faces.  The rest of the Upstarts share the look after the inspiring pep talk from their true leader.  But suddenly.....

VOICE
Hey!

Startled, Axel lower the mic and looks around the arena before seeing a figure appear on the Titantron… none other than former OAOAST Champion, Stephen Joseph!

SJ
Hey, Axel!  Yeah, up here!  You son of a bitch, shut up for a second and listen to me.  You screwed me once, you screwed me out of the OAOAST Championship, MY OAOAST Championship.  You WON’T SCREW ME AGAIN!  Knight, you’d better be ready, because at AnglePalooza, I’m activating my rematch clause.  That’s right, January 29, AnglePalooza, it will be Stephen Joseph regaining his OAOAST Championship when I beat you, Peter Knight!  And later tonight when I wrestle, you’ll get a little preview of what I’m going to do to you in three weeks!  Fuck me? Oh no, FUCK YOU!

COLE
Stephen Joseph has just thrown down the gauntlet, even though he is still injured from his first match with Knight.

Axel snickers as he speaks again.

AXEL
That was quite the spiel there Stephen, you write that earlier today?  You must be a little pissed off now.  I mean, you were nothing more than a pawn in our plans.  You were never really the leader of these guys, they never took orders from you.  You were used, you were a puppet, nothing more.  And now you’re useless.  Hey, I could say what I like about these people, but as soon as we lay a hand on you, we’re the most popular guys in the world.  Look, if you want to use your rematch clause, fine.  I’ll have the contract written up tomorrow.  But as for tonight, Stephen, you know you aren’t medically cleared to wrestle mate!  I couldn’t expect you to come out here and perform at fifty percent now, could I?  So no, Stephen, you won’t be showing anyone anything tonight, because until AnglePalooza, you are barred from active competition.  

"BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

COLE
Axel is making Tha Puerto Rican go at it alone tonight!  What the hell is this?

AXEL
And after AnglePalooza, I don’t think you’ll even want to wrestle, let alone actually be able to wrestle.  Because the title match will be carrying on an AnglePalooza tradition.  It will be.......An I QUIT MATCH.  

COACH
AW YEAH!!!

AXEL
Get well soon.

SJ stares a hole in Axel and PK through the OAOAST Tron, as the two power brokers in the OAOAST shake hands again, and Axel goes one better by raising the arm of the champion.  The Upstarts leave as a group, a united faction, together for one goal – taking over the OAOAST.

COLE
My god.  What a Main Event made for AnglePalooza!  Stephen Joseph versus Peter Knight in an I Quit Match for the OAOAST Championship!  We’re only just getting started tonight!