PROMO: Like Riding a Bike

[JJ Johnson 0]

*BAM!* *BAM!*

 

 

BAM!* *BAM!* *THWAP!*

 

 

*BAM!* *THWAP!* *THWAP!* *BAMCSSSH!*

 

 

*WHUMP!*

 

 

“Nice,” admits Jay Hawke, looking quite impressed at the display of martial arts.

 

“I’m not picking that punching bag up another damn time,” says Landon, looking away from his People in Espanol just long enough to shoot a sideways glance at the fallen training device, “and don’t you dare try to pass it off as ‘conditioning’.”

 

JJ Johnson snorts as he grabs a towel and wipes the sweat away from his eyes before plunking down on the bench across from his two stablemates, snagging a bottle of water and, with one smooth motion, sending the cap spiraling through the air. He drinks deeply, and the Dean of Professional Wrestling clears his throat before pulling out a manilla folder – labeled “Magnifico” – and handing it to the Ultimate Fighter.

 

“That’s all I could find on him,” says Jay, sounding a little disappointed that he couldn’t help his associate further. Johnson, meanwhile, cocks an eyebrow. There has to be 100 pages of information in here. Height, weight, wins, losses, wrestling style, first-grade teacher, when he’s likely to use a move and why, the works; Hawke really has nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Johnson flips through the folder for a few moments, then sets it in his duffel bag without so much as a second glance. Now it’s Maddix’ turn to cock an eyebrow, and the Canadian notices it immediately.

 

“Problem, Landon?” inquires the number one contender.

 

“Kinda,” admits La Cucaracha. “You’ve got what is practically a novel about Magnifico there, and you hardly gave it a glance. That seems just a tad absurd; and, if I might add, a bit assholish towards the work Jay put into that.”

 

But instead of nodding his head in agreement with Landon, the Dean raises his hand to stop his leader/protégé, a half-smile on his face.

 

“Landon, I understand JJ’s mindset completely,” admits the Dean, “and I’m not offended at all. Let me tell you a story-“

 

Landon groans prematurely. One more damn story about the virtues of the keylock and he’s going to shoot somebody.

 

“-about when I was six, growing up in Cleveland,” finishes Jay, more than a little miffed about Landon’s interruption. “Now, Christmas 1981, I’d gotten a bicycle for Christmas. It was cool and all, but I had no clue how to ride the thing. My father insisted that I had to try it to figure it out, but I didn’t listen. I got a book about bicycles from the library, and read that thing until I was about to fall over.”

 

“Is this going somewhere?” interrupts La Cucaracha, not even bothering to look up from his magazine.

 

“It was,” sighs Jay, “but I’ll skip to the point. I read the book, then tried to ride the bike and fell on my ass. Moral of the story is that you can read all you like, but knowing how to do something and doing something are completely different. No matter how much of that folder JJ reads, he’s not going to remember how much Magnifico hates lima beans and Die Hard II. He’s going to go back to what has worked for him in the past few months, and I really should have realized that before I did all of this research.”

 

“Fair enough,” concedes Landon. “Are we going for dinner now?”

 

“Actually,” Jay half-smirks/half-snarls, “I thought you and JJ could work on striking. You’ll be throwing a lot of strikes in the Clusterfuck, and it’ll provide a pleasant INTERRUPTION from your reading.”

 

Johnson laughs his intimidating laugh as he slips the pads off of his elbows, and Landon sighs. Jay’s about as subtle as Johnson is gentle.

 

 

Although now that he thinks about it, Jay's weapon of choice hurts far, far less.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

Awesometastical promo.

 

You should totally bring in Heat for the PPV to screw with Magnifico. HEATLEAF!