Zackage Promoage.

[Zack Malibu 0]

We come back from break with Zack Malibu, looking rather concerned about something, walking through the back. All of a sudden, Malibu pauses, as JOSH MATTHEWS~! and Marty The Cameraman (we don't see him, but we know it's gotta be Marty thanks to the gratuitous shot of Krista Isadora Duncan's ass for several moments) approach Zack.

 

JOSH

Josh Matthews standing here with Zack Malibu on HeldDOWN~! and Zack, what is going through your mind right now? Not only do you have the challenge of the New, New Midnight Express this Sunday for your World Tag Team Titles, but now your chances in the Lethal Rumble have been jeopardized by a bounty being placed on your head by Axel on behalf of The Upstarts! What...I mean, what do you think about all this?

 

MALIBU

What do I think?

 

JOSH

Well, yeah.

 

MALIBU

You really wanna know?

 

JOSH

Sure!

 

MALIBU

Then give me the mic, and just back up, Josh, because this could be a while.

 

Sensing Malibu's sequestered rage, Josh hands over the mic and eases back, as Zack turns to the camera.

 

MALIBU

Sunday night. Anglepalooza. The first pay per view event of 2006, and it's also the night chosen to try and make a new start. A new start courtesy of The Upstarts, no less. See, I know they want to phase me out. I know that I'm the main target because I'm the glue that holds this place together, a factoid passed onto me three years ago when I defeated Anglesault for my first World Title. Something that has been both a blessing and a curse throughout the course of my career . Not only that, but tonight, I do battle with the two men I'll face this Sunday with my World Tag Team Titles on the line, but tonight...I have no partner. No, it's just me, and I've gotta say, I like those odds. With all that's gone on lately, the New, New Midnight Express feel shunned. Unloved. That they're not getting enough attention from myself or Leon Rodez . Well boys, you have our attention. You've always had our attention. The fact is, that in order to keep it, you need to do something to hold interest, instead of hiding behind that fashion victim you call a manager. You say that Leon and I are lucky to be tag team champions? That we're not a real tag team? Let me tell you something, The Usual Suspects could be the New, New Midnight Express, the New Midnight Express, The Midnight Express, The Original Midnight Express, The Rock N' Roll Express, The Federal Express, The American Express, The Pony Express, Condrey and Lane, Condrey and Eaton, Lane and Eaton, Simon and Ned, Simon and Garfunkel, Simon and Simon, Ned and Stacy...THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT WE HAVE PROVEN THAT WE ARE WORTHY OF BEING THE BEST. We fought through every stipulation thrown our way, and survived. We put the past behind us to protect this company and become one of the most formidable duos in the world today, and THAT...THAT is what being World Tag Team Champions is all about. It's more than just the belts, it's about what you stand for, who you are, and what you make of yourself. Although, after our match, that partnership...all partnerships, actually...they're out the window. Because at the end of the night, it's every man for himself. The Lethal Rumble. Winner gets a shot at the bigtime, at the main event of Anglemania for the World Heavyweight Championshp and now, NOW Axel has raised the stakes. In a match where everyone needs to watch their back it seems I'm the one who needs to do it the most of all, because there's a price on my head. Someone could walk away with some extra cash in their pockets Sunday night if I go over that top rope and hit the floor, and all that proves to me is that the Upstarts are scared. They're worried. They know that I've survived the odds before. They know what happens when I get to Anglemania. I'm a two time World Champion, with both of those wins coming at Anglemania. So this...this is protection for Peter Knight. Well, old friend, I still don't think it's the best you can do. Because so what if I get eliminated? So what if it's not me at Anglemania, and someone like Scotty Static or Johnny Jax or Jumbo or Brock Ausstin or Alfdogg or even...even Tony Brannigan, Dan Black, or Leon Rodez walks away with a bonus? It makes no difference, because it just delays the inevitable, it delays the day that you know is coming, and that's the day that you and I stand across the ring from each other, one on one. All this proves is how weak you are. How much of a champion you're not, because you're afraid. You don't want to fight me, because you know that I will do everything in my power to get that belt from around your waist and put it where it belongs...around the waist of someone who cares for it. Who BUILT it. Who gave it life. It's the history behind that belt that is driving us all to win the Rumble this Sunday, but it's me and me alone who is fueled by vengeance. I might crave the gold, but I crave revenge even more. You think this makes me paranoid? You think I'm going to worry about going over those ropes Sunday night...maybe. Maybe you got me there. However, whether I go over those ropes or not is meaningless regarding you, and Axel, and Static and Jax and the rest of The Upstarts. I'll keep coming. I'll NEVER stop coming at you, until I get what I want, and that's not to get even, oh no, that'd be letting you off lightly. I'm going to beat the respect into all of you until my last drop of blood flows from my wounds. You can't hurt me, you can't stop me, you can't break me. I won't let you. This company...this is my life. You want to try and take my life away? Over my...dead...body.

 

Malibu sneers into the camera and then storms off, leaving a bewildered Marty to pan to Josh, who is awestruck with his jaw on the floor, as we fade to black.