HD: AC -- Diablos-HR

[Tony149 0]

Lots of :wub: to Patty for his help with the SCM promo. The other AC match will be posted sometime tomorrow.

 

[color=#009900][b]BOOM!

BOOM![/b][/color]

Pyro SHOOTS out of the stage as "G's & Soliders" hits. Through the cloud of smoke caused from the blast emerge the HEAVENLY ROCKERS. Synth and Logan greet their adoring fans with enthusiasm, sprinting down the aisle slapping each and every hand, including a little girl who can't be any older than 6 years old dressed as Holly-Wood, bringing a smile to her darling face. 

COLE 
The Heavenly Rockers just made that little girl's night. That'll be a moment she'll treasure forever. 

COACH
Especially after she gives birth to Synth's baby in about 6 or 7 years. It's no secret the Synthmeister likes 'em young. He thinks jailbait means a prison escape. 

CABOOSE    
I think you've been hanging around "The King" too much, Coach.

COACH
At least I hang around a king and not a drag queen like you do every week. 

COLE
(laughing)
You hang around a drag queen every week, Caboose?

CABOOSE
He's referring to YOU, you idiot.  

* DING DING *

BUFFER
The following contest is a Los Infernales Conference semi-finals match. It is set for one fall. Introducing first...hailing Sin City, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds, the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all time... THE HEAVENLY RRRROOOOOOCKERRRRSSSS! 

COLE
What an exciting match-up we have coming up, fans. The # 4 seed Heavenly Rockers will go up against the # 8 seed, the cinderella team in this year's Anderson Cup, Los Diablos de Fuego. 

COACH
Los Diablos might take being called a cinderella team a little too close to heart. But they did defeat The GPX, the # 1 seed and last year's Anderson Cup winners, to get here. They deserve props for that. Although they'd rather get popped, if you know what I mean. 

COLE
The Heavenly Rockers aren't your typical 4th seed, for that matter. One of the favorites to win it all, the Heavenly Rockers. As we go back up to Michael Buffer. 

CUE: "Work It"

BUFFER
And their opponents...weighing 340 pounds, they are the sexiest tag team in all of Meh-e-co... Moracca and Mariachi... LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO! 

Missy Elliot's "Work It" plays in the background, but there's no Diablos. From the stands to the ring, everyone is bewildered. The music is re-started from the top, but again no sign of Los Diablos. 

COLE
We're just as clueless are you are, fans. Los Diablos de Fuego's music is playing, but they haven't come out. 

COACH
Oh, they came out long ago, baby boy. They just haven't showed up for their match. I bet they're late because they're still in the back doing an unnatural act. 

COLE
L-Ladies and gentlemen, I've been told there's something going on backstage. I understand we have a camera on its way. Details are sketchy, but I'm... 

We cut backstage, our cameraman chugging along to the scene of the commotion. Lots of GRUNTING and SHOUTING can be heard in the halls. A swarm of OAOAST agents rush the locker room. As we follow them in, a body goes flying in the air. On the other side of the room, we see the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA stomping a flamboyantly attired figure up against a blood-stained wall. The camera zooms in on the person to reveal Moracca of Los Diablos de Fuego, curled up in a fetal position, [color=#FF0000][b]blood[/b][/color] oozing out above the eye of his torn [color=#FF99FF][b]pink mask[/b][/color]. 

COLE
Oh, my God! Marcellus Wallace and Vincent Santana are assaulting Los Diablos in the locker room. That's inhuman. And a hate-crime, damnit!  What's wrong with them? 

A ROAR is heard in the arena. Moe and Vinny push officials to the ground to continue their onslaught. Moe sees Mariachi trying to get back up and drills him with a running boot to the face! The roar we heard is due to the Heavenly Rockers leaving the ring to come to the defense of Los Diablos. The two rivals spot each other and go right at it. Luckily the room full of officials, which includes a microphone wielding Terry Taylor (man wants to get the scoope), are able to keep the mayhem from escalating, quickly getting in-between the warring fractions.  

COACH
Uh...does this mean we aren't gonna have a match? 

COLE
What do you think, genius? This is obviously not what we had planned. I think we're gonna take a break to sort everything out. We'll hope to find out more information during the break, if not later in the night. Stay with us, ladies and gentlemen.

 

Doesn't matter where this goes, just as long as it's after the match. Obviously.

 

COLE
Well, fans, as we saw earlier tonight, the scheduled Heavenly Rockers-Los Diablos de Fuego Anderson Cup did not take place due to the heinous assault Los Diablos received at the hands of the South Central Militia. During the break our broadcast colleague Terry Taylor caught up with the South Central Miltia as they were being escorted out of the building by security. 

TERRY
Gentlemen. Gentlemen, please, a moment of your time. What in the world were you trying to prove in your attack on Los Diablos de Fuego? 

MARCELLUS
It was ugly, man. Ugly. 

TERRY
What is he talking about, Vincent? What was ugly? 

VINCENT
You said we attacked them Diablos, right? There's three sides to every story, your side, my side, and the truth.

TERRY
That's what I'm trying to find out. Give me your story, give me your take on the truth. 

VINCENT
That's exactly what you're gonna get. But this ain't no take. This IS the truth. The general public has a misconception about Moe and me. They think we're thugs, a couple of gangbangers from South Central L.A., the baddest place on this earth. We ain't thugs. We're just a couple of Joes trying to make a livin', that's all. We might break a few rules here and there, but we treat people with the same amount of respect that they show us. Which brings me to Los Diablos. I ain't trying to say nothing about nobody, but...naw, I ain't gonna speak ill bout nobody. Go on 'bout your way. We just need to pray for the best, cuz I don't think Los Diablos is gonna make it.

TERRY
No! Ill is good! Ill brings ratings, ratings brings money, money brings food to the table. Let me have ill. I need ill.

MARCELLUS
Go on and speak that truth, Whitey. Proceed to give this man what he needs.

VINCENT
They thought we was ho's or something. I know I ain't no ho. Moe know he ain't no ho. Los Diablos thought we was ho's. We had to show 'em how hard we run in this bitch. They didn't treat us with respect. So we returned the favor. Ain't that right, Moe?

MARCELLUS
We gotta little somethin' in this country called the right to protect yo neck. We didn't attack nobody. It was pure self-defense, guarding our bumpers. You see, these homos-- I mean, homies came onto us in the locker room, man. They talked about talking us into the shower and scrubbing us from head to toe and everywhere in-between with soap. One of 'em got up in my ear like the Ying Yang twins “Wait till you see my OH! Wait till you see my OH!” The other one's all up there acting like he Fergie trying to get me to touch his lovely lady humps. Man, I ain't trying to mix his milk with my cocco puff. I don't want no drama. No, no, no, no drama. We done tried and told the youngbloods we just don't rock the boat that way. That's when they became angry. I ain't never seen no mad homos-- homies in my life, so imagine my surprise when these guys got up in our grills, pissed because we didn't want to engage in some man love. They started turning the locker room upside down, throwing chairs around and shit. They was going crazier then the bitch who dumped hot grits on Al Greene. We tried and talk 'em down, saying be calm and cool, don't be no fool. That's when shit got slim and shady, man. Next thing I know we found ourselves down on the ground, on the defensive. I ain't never been more scared in my life, cousin. This was real, son. Real. We live in LA, we know how Mexicans throw down, but forget throw down, these dudes wanted to go down. They were going for our pants, man. Our pants. 

]TERRY
I haven't had someone go for my pants in ten years.

MARCELLUS
This was straight up rape, no doubt. No means no -- no matter if you man or woman, yo. Everything after that is clear as day. The fight was out, so we had to knock they lights out. We proceed to take them boys to the woodshed, splitting they wigs and busting straight through they cerebellum. Shit look like someone took a machete to a watermelon. We was running them like a Red Cross blood drive, but we was taking blood by the liter, not the pint I had blood on my hands, and it wasn't the blood of Christ. That's when it hit me and Vinny. 
(sarcastically sobbing)
We looked up to the heavens and like that bright light shining down on us. It was a sign from above. The Lord was telling us it's time to change our ways, to renounce violence and live a better life. It may be too late for Tookie, but it ain't too late for us. Mariachi and Moracca, my brothers, I ask for your forgiveness and your hand in prayer. Together as one we can make a difference. What better way to make a difference than for you to give us your spot in the Anderson Cup so we can spread our message of hope and peace. My brothers, we are praying for you. And remember, God wants you to give us your spot. We love you. Thank you, brother Taylor. 

TERRY
Thank you, gentlemen. You know, now that I'm told your offer to replace Los Diablos in the Anderson Cup has been denied, maybe you'd like to come to church with me this Sunday. 

VINCENT
Denied?!

MARCELLUS
What'coo talkin' about, Taylor? 

TERRY
In the middle of your wonderful and heartwarming sermon, Marcellus, I was informed through my earpiece that General Manager Axel has turned down your offer. The Heavenly Rockers advance to the Los Infernales Conference Finals via a bye.

MARCELLUS
THE FUCK?! 

TERRY
(flabbergasted)
Excuse me? It's trying times like these, where you really need to ask yourself, what would Jesus do? And I don't think Jesus would respond quite the way you did. 

MARCELLUS
If Jesus ain't no punk ass faggot, Jesus is gonna be doing a drive by from Green Bay to the OAOAST offices, lighting bitches up like a switchboard.

CORNETTE (Off-Screen)
(panting)
Guys, guys, guys. 

About to keel over from exhaustion, Jim Cornette holds himself up by grabbing onto Marcellus. 

VINCENT
What the hell is going on, Cornette? You said you had an in with Axel. And as you can see, apparently we're in the out. 

CORNETTE
I-I don't know what happened. I gave Axel all the pros of allowing you to replace Los Diablos, but he went on and on about how the fans love the Heavenly Rockers and how ratings shoot through the roof when they appear on TV. I then told him about the lack of competition they've had to face in the Anderson Cup, while you guys had to go up against the # 2 seed in the tournament, only for Axel to tell me he doesn't care what you're concerned about as long as he accomplishes 3 things: run Zack Malibu out of the OAOAST, increase company profits and therefore his own salary. 

MARCELLUS
So I said all that shit for nothing?! Cornette, you bastard! You got the belts, you got yo block on fire, and we're left on in the goddamn cold! 

CORNETTE
No, no, no. I would never leave you guys high and dry. We have a deal and I fully intend to live up to my end of it. Look, let's go discuss this some place more private, huh? 

Cornette laughs neverously as the SCM nod their heads in agreement. Security finishes escorting the men out of the building. 

TERRY
(shouting)
Does this mean we're off for Sunday?