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Tony149

HD: AC -- BT-LSGS

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I wrote this while I was under the weather so it may or may not suck.

 

The radiance of the hot flourcent light created a brilliant glow across the stage as the audience in front it murmured with excitied anticipation. Suddenly...

"WAAHAAA, WAH, WAH, WAH..."

...the "Good, the Bad and the Ugly" theme explodes out of the speakers with unadultared intenseity. It's noise tore through the air, entering the ears of everylast audience member, and forcing them off their seats. Soon even music had to fight for dominance with scillianting heat emmitted from the audience's roar. The entrance doors slowly come apart, as if to tell us we're not worthy of being witness to these glorious specimens of man. Baron Windels steps out first, a lock of shining ear slipping across his beautiful blue eye, followed by "The Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan, a handsome twenty-something who sends the female into premature ejaculation. 

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest live on HeldDOWN~! is a Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference semi-final match. It is set for one fall. Introducing first, from the Lone Star State, at a total combine weight of 507 pounds, "The Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels... THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS!  

With smiles as big as the state of Texas on their faces, the Lone Star Gunslingers sprint to the ring, slapping the hands of those who reach out to touch two of the youngest and brightest OAOAST superstars. They send the women into a frenzy as they enter the ring and remove their white jackets.

COLE
Coming up next, ladies and gentlemen, is Anderson Cup action from the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference. It'll be youth vs. experience. The surprising Lone Star Gunslingers vs. the former World Tag Team Champions Black T. And here to call the action with yours truly is none other than Jesse "The Body" Ventura. I know you wouldn't miss this one for the world, Jess. 

VENTURA
Absolutely. You got the #5 seed Lone Star Gunslingers taking on the #1 seed in the MWC Conference and my pick to win it all, Black T.

COLE
I know you talked to Black T earlier today. What's their strategy coming into tonight's semi-final match?

VENTURA    
They wanna see how the Lone Star Gunslingers react when they're put on the defensive early. They saw the quick start Jock and Baron got off to in their first round match against Christian Wright and Bohemoth. Black T believe if they can bully the Gunslingers early, it'll take the young Texicans out of their game and allow them to do what they do best -- beat people up. 

"He's Simply Ravishing...OWWWWWWW!"

In a rare moment, perhaps for the first time ever, Black T come out to the music of Tony Brannigan. The jeers are also back, as Dan Black and Tony Brannigan are going up against two non-Upstarts. As they step onto the apron, they ask referee Earl Hebner to keep the Gunslingers at bay. They enter the squared circle and shoo Michael Buffer away as they pose back-to-back in the center of the ring, simultaneously removing their trench coat and robe respectively to reveal their well-built tanned physiques to a less than enthused crowd. 

BUFFER
And their opponents in this semi-final bout...weighing a combined 505 pounds, here is the Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew of Dan Black and Tony Brannigan... BLACK T! 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

VENTURA
I have tears in my eye, Michael Cole. 30 years older and these guys could be my sons. 

COLE
30 years older and you'd either be dead or need the assistance of a walker. In any event, we're set to get things underway with Dan Black and Baron Windels. These is a very intriguing match on many fronts. As I previously mentioned, it will be youth vs. experience and no doubt Axel and The Upstarts will be keeping a close eye on this bout. While the New New Midnight Express haven't affiliated themselves with Axel and company, the two have an amicable working situation. Or at least they did up until last week. 

* DING DING *

Dan and Baron tie-up in the center of the ring, with Black landing a knee to the midsection followed by a couple of well placed European uppercuts. He sets Windels for a vertical suplex but slams him down hard to the side. Baron is scooped up and placed on the top turnbuckle. Dan goes up to meet him, but the only thing he's met with is a round of rights to the gut. Baron hooks Dan in a front facelock from the second rope, then drops him to the mat with a Gordbuster. As Dan rises up to his feet, Windels hits a TOP ROPE LARIAT! He brings Black back to his feet and whips him to the ropes, again connecting with a lariat -- a flying lariat. But instead of going for the pin, ge sets Black on the top turnbuckle. SUPERPLEX! 

ONE...

TWO...

NO! 

Tony Brannigan with the save, bringing in Jock Mulligan, who levels the former World and tag champion with a right hand. Jock grabs Tony's legs as Baron does the same to Dan. STEREO TEXAS CLOVERLEAFS!

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

COLE
Would you take a look at this! 

VENTURA
It's an illegal double-team. That's what it is. The referee needs to get Jock out of there. 

ONE...
TWO...
THREE...
FOUR...
FI--

Jock lets go of the Cloverleaf and begrudgingly returns to his corner. With the referee focused on Jock's exit, Tony Brannigan nails Baron from behind with a clothesline. Black rolls to the corner and tags out, allowing Tony Brannigan to go right to work, driving the forearm into the back of Windels' head as he enters. Brannigan rakes the laces of his boot against the eye of Baron, temporarily rendering him blind. Baron is then sent face-first into the top turnbuckle in Black T's corner. Tony rams the shoulder into the midsection and pumpels Windels with hard right hands to the jaw. Tony keeps Baron trapped in the corner by pressing his weight up against him as he tags Dan Black. 

* CHOP *

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 

* CHOP *

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 

* CHOP *

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 

Black brutalizing Windels' chest with vicious knife-edge chops. Black brings him out of the corner and whips him across the ring. He levels Baron with a running forearm shiver to the sternum, followed by a legdrop. 

ONE...

TWO...

KICKOUT!

Black continues working at a feverish pace. He facelocks Baron and takes him over with a snap suplex. Black with the throat-slash, signaling the end is near. To the top he goes. DIVING HEADBUTT... INTO A PAIR OF COWBOY BOOTS! 

VENTURA
As clichė as it is, that's what it's called high-risk. If he hits the move the match is probably over. High-risk, high-reward. Fortunately for Dan, he's able to roll over to his corner and tag Tony. But so does Baron! Whoa! 

Brannigan is drilled with a Jock Mulligan discus punch!

ONE...

TWO...

TH-- KICKOUT! 

Brannigan is whipped to the ropes and sent into orbit with a high back bodydrop. Tony pops up and goes diving through the ropes following a dropkick. He gets up outside a bit jelly-legged, but catches Jock slingshotting over the top rope. The former World Champion is unable to capitalize as Baron Windels slides under the bottom rope, knocking his partner down onto him! Jock picks Tony up and rams him into the apron before tossing him back inside the ring. Jock climbs the turnbuckles. FLYING CROSS BODYBLOCK...COUNTERED INTO THE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE~! 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!"

COLE
Oh, my!

ONE...

TWO...

THREE-- NO! 

Windels makes the save. Brannigan throws Mulligan outside, leaving him to Dan Black. Tony taunts Baron as Dan hurls Jock into the STEEL STEPS! Jock grimaces in pain as he holds onto his shoulder. He's tossed back into the ring and stepped on by Brannigan as he walks over Jock and tags out. Black sccopes Jock up and flings him between the middle and top turnbuckles, sending him shoulder-first into the RINGPOST! Black pulls him out of the turnbuckles and takes him down to the mat in a FUJIWARA ARMBAR!

VENTURA
Oh, is that ever a painful move. The Fujiwara armbar. Looks like ol' Jock'll need to a painkiller or two after the match. 

COLE
Almost foaming from the mouth is Dan Black, screaming for Jock to quit or suffer a broken arm. Something tells me Dan won't get what he wants. Jock and Baron didn't come back to the States to lose in the semi-finals of the 2006 Anderson Cup. They came to win the tournament and move on to face the World Tag Team Champions at AngleMania V. 

Unable to force his opponent into submission, Black tries a different tatic, going from the armbar into THE HEART OF ICE CROSSFACE! But Jock fights it off despite the fact he's being peppered with closed fists to the back of the neck, shielding his head with his right arm to prevent Dan from locking the crossface. Jock flips over onto his back and kicks Black off with both feet. Jock charges Black, his right arm outstretched, but Dan grabs the arm and goes behind Mulligan, clamping on the DRAGON SLEEPER! Kicking and screaming is The Texas Twister as he tries escaping the submission hold. Black is drilled in the face by a series of knees, causing him to break the hold. But Dan responds with a...

KICK...
WHAM...
BLACKOUT... NO! Jock shoves Dan off to the ropes and goes up for a dropkick, but the man born Daniel Maximus Black swats him down and quickly applies THE HEART OF ICE CROSSFACE! 

VENTURA
He's got it locked on and locked on good, Michael Cole. 

COLE
The Heart of Ice! A move that was won many-a matches for Dan Black.  

*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

VENTURA
Being trapped in the center of the ring doesn't give Jock Mulligan too many options to work with. He could either tap or take the easy way out by having his partner come in and break up the hold. 

InsteadJock rises to his knees and then onto his feet with Dan Black wrapped around him, the Heart of Ice still applied. His legs become shaky as he struggles to support Black's weight. Jock begins falling forward until he gets one last surge of strength and falls back with Dan, planting him into the canvas with a Somoan Drop! 

COLE
Unbelieveable! Un-BElieve-ABLE! Jock escaped the Heart of Ice! The Heart of Ice, Jesse!

VENTURA
What an incredible turn of events. I can't recall the last time anybody has escaped the Heart of Ice quite like that. 

Laid out in the middle of the ring, Jock clutches his left arm as he leans up against Dan. 

ONE...

TWO...

THR-- DAN REVERSES INTO A CRUCIFIX! 

ONE...

TWO...

THREE-- NO! 

Jock rolls through. Both men rush to their feet, but it is Dan who lands the big blow, spiking Mulligan straight back into his knee with an STO. Dan grabs ahold of Jock's leg to keep him near the Black T corner. Tony Brannigan comes back in and continues focusing on the arm, delivering a shoulderbreaker. Brannigan lets Jock know who he's in the ring with, slapping him around and telling him he "ain't shit!" Tony grabs a handful of hair and brings Jock up to his feet, hammerlocking the arm behind Mulligan's back and slamming him to the mat. 

VENTURA
Beautiful hammerlock slam. Black T again showing why they're my pick to win it all. The tide began turning in the favor of the Gunslingers, but Black T has come back and regained the momentum. 

After a HIP SWIVEL~! Tony Brannigan measures Jock up and drives the forearm dangerously near the throat. Brannigan scoopes Jock up and places him in a standing headscissors, the prelude to the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT PILEDRIVER! Tony jumps up and places a foot on Jock's chest, flexing the biceps as the referee counts...

ONE...

TWO...

THR-- NO! 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Baron Windels levels the former Heavyweight Champion of the World with a MISSLE DROPKICK, having had enough of Black T's taunting. He drags Jock over to their corner and TAGS HIMSELF IN! Dan Black gets caught coming in with a roundhouse right. Scoope and a slam for Brannigan. One for Black. Windels hits Brannigan with a punishing inverted atomic drop. Dan with a swing and a miss, which Baron follows up with an atomic drop that sends Black flying out of the ring. He hits the ropes and nails a hurtin' Tony Brannigan with a FLYING LARIAT! 

VENTURA
All hell is breakin' loose, Michael Cole!

ONE...

TWO...

THR-- KICKOUT! 

Windels seats Brannigan on the top rope, where he takes him for a ride and back in a SUPERPLEX! 

ONE...

TWO...

THRE-- DAN BLACK WITH THE DIVING HEADBUTT OFF THE TOP!

Jock Mulligan dives at Dan, sending the two tumbling over the top and to the floor. They brawl on the outside as Tony and Baron remain down in the ring. A woozy Baron Windels brings Tony back to his feet and fires him to the ropes as he hits the corner. Outside, Black rakes the eyes and throws Mulligan into the guardrail. Inside the ring, Brannigan counters the attempted Bulldog by pushing Windels off to the ropes and catching him out the rebound with the OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE as Dan Black re-enters and hits the ROCK BOTTOM in midair to complete 3-B, BLACK BODY BAG! 

ONE...

TWO...

THREE!




NO!

Jock pulls Tony out of the ring. The two trading blows on the floor. Out of nowhere, Dan Black comes diving through the ropes and wipes Jock out with a SUICIDE DIVE! Brannigan slides back into the ring and nails Baron getting up with a knee to the side of the head. Brannigan applies a front facelock and then turns Baron's head clockwise. Baron escapes the clutches of the Rude Awakening by firing a round of quick elbow strikes to Tony's ribs and countering the Rude Awakening with a BACKSLIDE!

ONE...

TWO...

THREE! 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

VENTURA
NO WAY?!

* DING DING DING *

Baron rolls out of the ring and helps his partner up outside. The two embrace and raise each other's hand in victory as Michael Buffer makes the official announcement. 

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the winners and advancing to the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Finals, the team of the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERRRRRSSSSS! 

COLE
The Lone Star Gunslingers have advanced to the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Finals!

VENTURA
Yeah, it's a miracle they got there. They got lucky. Black T had the match won. They dominated nearly the entire match. Tony Brannigan had Baron Windels set for the Rude Awakening, but Windels hit him with illegal elbows...

COLE
They weren't illegal and you know it. 

VENTURA (CONT'D)
...to the ribs and takes Brannigan down with a backslide for the 1-2-3. I still can't believe it. 

COLE
Well believe it. We now know the final 4 teams in the Anderson Cup, as we take a look at the updated standings. 

[b]2006 ANDERSON CUP

[color=#009900]MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNECTION CONFERENCE[/color][/b]

# 1 Black T vs. # 8 James Blonde & Faqu -- [b]BLACK T[/b]
# 4 Christian Wright & Bohemoth vs. # 5 The Lonestar Gunslingers -- [b][color=#996633]GUNSLINGERS[/color][/b]

# 2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. # 7 Glory by Anarchy -- [color=#CC0000][b]SOONER BRUISERS[/b][/color]
# 3 The Love Doctors vs. # 6 Team Heyross -- [b][color=#FF0000]TEAM[/color] [color=#3333FF]HEYROSS[/color][/b]

SEMI-FINALS
# 1 Black T vs. # 4 Lone Star Gunslingers -- [b]GUNSLINGERS[/b]
#2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #6 Team Heyross -- [b][color=#CC0000]SOONER BRUISERS[/color][/b]

[b][color=#FF9900]CONFERENCE[/color] FINALS[/b]
February 16th

LI: #2 TK/Reject vs. #4 Heavenly Rockers
MWC: #2 Sooner Bruisers vs. #5 Lone Star Gunslingers

[b][color=#FF0000]FINALS, ZERO HOUR[/color][/b]
February 26, 2006

[color=#FF0000][b]LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE[/b][/color]

#1 GPX vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- [color=#FF99FF][b]LOS DIABLOS[/b][/color]
# 4 The Heavenly Rockers vs. # 5 Tha Puerto Rican & Stephen Joseph -- [b][color=#000099]HEAVENLY ROCKERS[/color][/b]

# 2 Thunderkid & Reject vs. # 7 South Central Militia -- [b]TK/REJECT[/b]
# 3 The Sk8ter Boiz vs. # 6 NRG -- [b][color=#6633FF]SK8TER BOIZ[/color][/b]

SEMI-FINALS

# 1 Heavenly Rockers vs. # 8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- [b][color=#000099]HEAVENLY ROCKERS[/color][/b]
# 3 Sk8ter Boiz vs. # 2 TK & Reject -- [b]TK/REJECT[/b]

COLE
The Los Infernales and Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Finals will be held next week, featuring the Heavenly Rockers going up against TK and Reject and the Sooner Bruisers facing the team we just saw defeat Black T, the Lone Star Gunslingers. Your comments on next week's Conference Finals. 

VENTURA
It oughta be the Sooner Bruisers vs. BLACK T! That's what I think! 

Jesse throwns down his headset in disgust and walks off. 

COLE
Jesse, come back. We're still on. Heh. Well fans, it looks like The Body isn't coming back. I can't believe how upset he got. He must've lost a bet or something. Anyway, we now know who the final 4 teams in the Anderson Cup are. The winners of next week's Conference Finals will go on to face each other at Zero Hour, with the winner not only winning the 2006 Anderson Cup but a shot at the World Tag Team Titles at AngleMania V. And we'll be back right after this.

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