HD: Rodez Promo

[King Cucaracha 0]

And we're backstage and we're with Terry Taylor!

 

TERRY M'FN TAYLOR~!

Leon, last week you were able to overcome Colombian Heat in a grueling Hardcore Match and in the process, earn yourself a shot at Tha Puerto Rican and the 24/7 Championship. PRL's set the time, he's set the date and he's set the conditions. You and PRL, one on one at Zero Hour...and you have to beat him within 15 minutes. Your thoughts.

 

RODEZ

Remember when I.R.S was called Michael Wallstreet and he was part of the York Foundation with Goldust's wife and they had that funky do-dad computer that could tell him how to beat opponents predict the exact amount of time it'd take him to win?

 

TAYLOR

Yeah.

 

RODEZ

Remember when you only had 7 minutes or something to beat him at Starrcade 90.

 

TAYLOR

Yeah.

 

RODEZ

And you lost, right?

 

TAYLOR

(weeping softly)

Yes. Whats your point?

 

RODEZ

Well, the way I see it, either PRL's got himself a funky new computer...OR, this is just another way to try and give himself a little insurance for a 24/7 Title defence. Now, assuming that it's option B and he hasn't got a Corporate Computer, I have to ask 'Why?' Why does Tha Puerto Rican need insurance? Why does Tha Puerto Rican feel the need to put a 15 minute time-limit on our match at Zero Hour? Surely...SURELY, the mighty Puerto Rican Lightning isn't afraid that I might beat him and take his 24/7 Title. Nah, that couldn't be it. Just like every Lightning Crew run-in in a PRL match has been purely coincidental and couldn't have had anything to do with him fearing his opponents. Just like the screw-job they laid down on Colombian Heat had nothing to do with fear. Just like the fact that PRL suggested putting me and Colombian Heat in a Hardcore Match last week has nothing to do with him being afraid of us.

 

TAYLOR

...sarcasm?

 

RODEZ

You're as sharp as you are...uh...uhm...ah...hmm...yeah. Tha Puerto Rican thought he could divide and conquer last week, by pitting me and Colombian Heat against each other. Now, I'll admit that me and Heat beat the crap out of each other last week. Sure, maybe it went a little too far. But the fact is, me and Heat aren't friends. I've never professed to be his friend and vice-versa. Our new-found relationship is strictly business, based on a mutual enemy. And PRL, no matter what you do, it won't change the fact that we're both out for you and revenge upon you.

 

Rodez lightens the mood with a wry smile, before fixing Terry Taylor's tie.

 

RODEZ

So, at Zero Hour, I've got to beat Tha Puerto Rican within 15 minutes, right Terry?

 

TAYLOR

Uhm...yep.

 

RODEZ

Right. Usually, I'm all about stamina and going for a long, long time, if you're catching my drift here. And if you're not, a little clue...it's about sex. But something which ISN'T about sex is my match at Zero Hour. Now THAT'S a segueway!

 

Scrambling through his pockets, Taylor takes a notepad out from his back pocket and scribbles down that completely fantastic segueway for future use.

 

RODEZ

All the time-limit means is I'm going to have to go for the kill a little early. Now, I'm not a 'killer instinct' type of guy. I'm not planning on cheating to gain a quick advantage and I'm not planning on trying to cripple PRL in order to get the victory in time. But I have to take the fight to Tha Puerto Rican, because the time-limit means he doesn't have to bring the fight to me. Maybe it means I take a few more risks. Maybe it means I'm a tad more ruthless. Who knows? The pressure's on me and I know that. PRL wouldn't have set the deck that way if not. But I'm comfortable with a little pressure. I'm up for his Corporate Challenge.

 

Taylor stops looking around nervously for any sign of a certin A. Maria Spezia or K. Isadora Duncan long enough to remember he's doing an interview.

 

TAYLOR

Well, moving on to tonight. With Zero Hour just a couple of weeks away, PRL has set another little hurdle for you as he sends two of his Lightning Crew members, Brains and Brawn, out to take on yourself and John "Rock Hard" Brickston.

 

RODEZ

PRL, stacking the deck. Who'da thunk it Terry Taylor? I'm under no illusions that PRL is sending out his evil minions with strict instructions to try and soften me up for Zero Hour. Well, as Kirsten Dunst may or may not have said in the film Bring It On, "Bring It On!" Send me bodyguards. Send me Financial Consultants. Send me Official Lightning Crew Referees. Send me Latina Bitches. Send me lawyers. Send me waitors, bakers, candlestick makers. All in all, PRL, send in the clowns. Lord knows you have enough of them. Fact is, I'm going to Zero Hour to challenge for the 24/7 Championship and there's nothing you, Punchy, Punch Bag or any other Lightning Crew members you might have hidden away are gonna do about it.

 

Rodez walks off with a pat on the back to Terry on a job well done as we go to something else. Yay something else!